see women would never marry me so i dont have to worry about a divorce the only woman who would marry me is someone who can win a debate and not argue thats the only person who could stand me
Interesting gender split here. Outside of infidelity, the male stories were "she was a gold digger" and the female stories were "he slammed me into a wall".
My parent’s’ marriage was definitely a mistake (though neither would say it out loud). They were both on the rebound from other relationships and both wanted children. There was no cheating, but a thousand small things turned into a thousand big things. They lasted for six years and two kids before breaking up, then another four years before the divorce was final. They are now both in happy relationships.
re: People who suddenly change after they get married. Now that the other person is trapped, they can show their true colors. That's literally how abusers reel people in: lure them in far enough that they trust you, they're locked in with you, and ideally they're isolated with you. Classic manipulative abuser.
People DO hold their true selves back till marriage or pregnancy. You can look at their parent's marriages for warning signs. If one of them seems trapped by circumnstance but not actually happy in the marriage then thats the example of marriage their children grew up with
I want to be able to say "noooo people break cycles it's DIFFERENT!!" especially because my parents broke the cycle like that But my ex's family was a mess and my ex cheated on me so idk you might have a point
Fortunately, I had that moment two weeks before the wedding. I had a flash of myself sitting on the bed on my wedding night, realizing I had just made the biggest mistake of my life.
My grandma got married when my mom was a lil baby. In that time where she lived, it was increadebly hard to live as a single mother. Some months she was starving and had barely anything to eat! Her new husband told her a few days after the wedding to ditch the baby and he tought the grandma would surely chose him over a baby since he was financially stable and could easely provide for her. She filed for divorce in less then a week.
After I got pregnant he started fights in the car almost every time we went out. The moment I was in the car I was stuck and had to sit there while he yelled or forced me to have conversations I was not ready to have. Anytime we would visit my family he would start a fight afterwards. Eventually I stopped wanting to go places with him at all. I used to have to sneak out at night just to see my best friend. He then started coming home and finding reasons to fight and taking off while I slept in the floor beside our son's bed. We split a month after our son's 1st birthday, but I couldn't remember the last time he said he loved me or kissed me hello/goodbye. We're still legally married because he hasn't completed his paperwork. I'm in a happy relationship with a new child and custody of our son.
My ex used to start fighting with me as soon as we got in the car and started driving somewhere, and also would tell me how to drive the whole way (even though I’d been driving for 20+ years with a good record). It got to the point I just didn’t want to get in a car with her or go anywhere with her. Finally got divorced, years later when I started dating again I was driving with my gf to go have breakfast and started having severe anxiety because I was thinking that at any minute she was going to start fighting/arguing with me. I’m better now, but that’s no way to live.
Yeah, some people totally fake it till the marriage license gets filed, then turn around and treat their partner like they're private property. They think that marriage gives you the right to do whatever you want with another person; their body, their platonic relationships, their finances, everything. It's batshit bonkers and if your spouse ever pulls any of this territorial paranoid bs pls get help and get out.
There are usually signs of fake though...but people don't want to see it for a plethora of reasons. Sometime it's because they are fake too and don't realize it or want to realize it.
I moved across the country with my college sweetheart and a year later she started complaining about having no friends and being isolated. I encouraged her to enroll back in school and make friends but she said it wasn't the right time. She cheated on me and blamed me for her actions. Later she said she did it to hurt me in the worst way because I was succeeding in my career and she felt stuck, even though she forced us to move.
6:21 the reason why people suddenly change in this manner is because abusive people know their behavior isolates them from people so they act like totally different people until they feel like they have you locked in, and then the facade slips and they show who they really are
But they're capable of being nice for years and existing in a happy relationship... why do they want to destroy that? Why don't they just go "this person loves me, this is really nice, we can have a happy life". Why instead make the other person miserable and make them hate you? I don't get it.
@@GuacamoleKun here's the thing, you're thinking about this logically.... do you really think that someone whose brain is warped enough to want to harm their fellow humans for no reason, is going to be able to think with that much depth about what they're doing?
Yep. Most manipulators and abusers aren't gonna openly act out until they're sure you won't leave them. I know a couple who met online and everything went well for 6 months when they were meeting once a week and talking over the phone every couple nights. Then when they move in together (and were trapped in a lease together) the dude immeadiately became abusive and controlling. Not to mention, there are plenty of people who dont understand they're abusive, usually financially or emotionally. We don't consider it as serious as physical abuse and alot of people aren't socialized to look for it, so without knowing someone for a long time, you might not clock them as an abuser until its too late.
My mom had my older brother out of wedlock in '87, and subsequently found out the father (who was a high-school sports coach) was having an affair with several female high-school students, so suffice to say that was over. Her father wouldn't tolerate her being an unwed single mom, so he shoved her and my dad together (he was a coworker of my grandfather and didn't mind she had a baby). They weren't in love, had nothing in common, and no business being together, but they got married and got pregnant with me on the honeymoon. That same honeymoon my dad was in the car of a ride and he lifted his arm to get my mom to sit next to him and snuggle, and she was physically repulsed by his pit stains. That's when she knew they'd made a horrible mistake because we all sweat but when you're in love or even in like that doesn't matter. By the time the wedding photos came back they were getting divorced.
6:21 There are signs, but people ignore them. They may not hit you until they marry tou, but there are all kinds of red flags up until that point. People don't change all that much. It's up to you to become informed, make slow decisions, and to vet people properly.
I agree there are signs but most of the time they aren't that clear, and is not like people "change", they just hide their true self and some are pretty good are it. I'm sure they are plenty of people you had met personally that you didn't know o don't know how bad they truly are. How many times have you been surprised at a family member, a neighbor or even a friend being aggressive or violent? And you are supposed to "know" this person, they are just good at hiding it. They usually love bomb their victims and hide their horrible self until they feel they trapped them (marriage/pregnancy), and just then the cracks begin to show. These guys on these stories went 0-100 quickly, that is why their victims scape so fast, others are more pacient and begin slowly and also know how to pick , so their victims had a harder time scaping, they drag their self esteem, they cut their resources and social circle, so it is more difficult to leave, and they don't just trick their partner but also everyone around them, family, friends, neighbors, coworker, those are the worst. So give a break to the victims, because these monster had also trick you into thinking they weren't bad, you just didn't get to met their real side like their victims.
Finally someone said it. Can't say how many times I've observed relationships where one of the partners seems legally blind by how they blatantly ignore subtle(and sometimes not so subtle) red flag behavior
It was a bit longer than a year, but one of my step aunts moved from western NC to Atlanta GA. She moved in with her new husband after a 3 month engagement, she spent almost 15 months where she'd get in a fight with her husband, come back to NC for a week, and then go back to Atlanta for a month only for them to have another big blow out and repeating the cycle. The huge F.U. came when my father and myself got called to drive down to Atlanta from NC to drive a U-haul full of my step aunts crap back up to NC. My aunt gave the family a sob story about how she just couldn't even stand one more day in Georgia. My dad and me agree to go get her, but she has to have ALL of her stuff loaded in the truck because we don't want to spend all night drive AND packing. But wouldn't you know it, we get down there and there's NOTHING packed up because my aunt and her former husband had spent the 6 hour travel time in a screaming match. By the time we got there the police were trying to referee the situation as they both were fighting over random crap they both of them were claiming they owned. And not even value items, but just random crap that both sides wanted to keep
Some people are very good at wearing mask. They also have the belief that if your married you’re in it for life or don’t think that person would ever divorce them.
When my ex introduced me by his ex fiances name, a week after getting married. Also came out that the spontanious trip to vagas and spur of the moment wedding, coincided with the wedding plans with his ex. He never did see me as a person, just a place holder who could be slotted into the spot he had assigned 'wife' in his perfect ideal of his future. It certainly explains why he was so thorough in shutting me down any time I had an original thought or idea that wasn't some veriation of his own perceptions.
@@phantomvampyressshadowkiss4690 tbh, it's the least of what he did. He was a disgusting piece of trash on every single level conceivable; neckbeard, nice guy, and a laundry list of criminal charges. For context, after the divorce, he died in jail and I was relieved.
My ex turned out to be an addict, lied to me for over a year about going to school and work. He was smoking and getting druk in the park instead of building our future and left me with 10.000 euros in debt. I was done the moment he told me.
My second wife was the biggest blunder of my life. I caught her cheating with the guy she’s married to now within about 6-7 months from getting married. My first wife and I two daughters and 13 years before she said she met someone she wanted to date I gave her an open marriage until we could work out custody of our children then we would divorce. Until my girls were taken care of no divorce. So then I decided I was done with women and lived a single life until a woman from church called and told me she had a friend that I should date I told her no she said I owed her a favor so I had to take this lady on one date. I did she also owed the same lady a favor so she said one date and we’re done. 40 + years later still married! Best favor I ever had to repay!
8:01 She's right about the chemicals, but wrong about *no* sunscreen usage. There are mineral based sunscreens that don't have any of the chemicals associated with endocrine dysfunction and cancer.
You say there must have been signs in the case of that one person. People can hide stuff for a long time. Then when they think they have you “locked down” they think they can let their toxicity out. I have heard it a thousand times. Don’t judge.
@@phantomvampyressshadowkiss4690 Yeah, but that "not always" is the extreme exception to the rule. So much so, "you're" not that exception. There is always signs. People just ignore them for a long lit of reasons.
I often wonder if we just separated manymen and women from each other for at least 4 years, get them tons of therapy & self-help, i believe many couples would be way more stable
How about you grow-up, be an adult, and doing all that stuff (if needed) before marriage. If you need all that for 4 years, then you aren't ready to get married.
Sorry to all of you who’ve went through or had to pick up the pieces of someone else’s shitty relationship. Hope you guys all find ways to heal into healthier people and can find a good loving person
Im glad I watch all these r/ videos at 1.5 speed. It took a little bit to get used to but after a while I understood everything and said me from watching a 20+ minute video 💯
That one which the OP's sister being bestfriend with her ex-husband and helped him to be comfortable with his sexuality is heartwarming. Sometimes people don't work out as married couple but they do as best friend
I have a gold digger mother AND father (not together anymore). They are both ridiculously hot, exceedingly charming etc. Nothing is more deceptive than the appearance of goodness on a hot person. And funny how many hot people are so entitled and used to getting their way on everything BECAUSE of their good looks that it kind of turns them into trash people. They get so well versed in manipulating people with their looks that it’s almost second nature to them. I’ve watched these two people go through lovers like water, using and discarding them one after another and often multiple people at once that don’t know about each other. Either one of them could get pretty much anything they want in life because of it. My mom literally hit a bridge drunk driving and did massive damage and she got out of trouble with police (all men) by crying and batting those eyelashes and playing the upset little girl routine with a million excuses as to why she was driving drunk and caused so much damage. It was all “poor her”, she was the victim. As soon as the police officers started falling for her ploy because she was so dam- hot, she turned on that million watt smile and got flirty and they fell all over themselves to baby her. They took her home instead and wrote it off as an honest highway accident due to some other reason. My dad meanwhile married a younger woman who had a solid career and could bankroll him so he didn’t have to work too much if he didn’t want to. She caught him cheating on her and forgave him. He then cheated again with someone else right after she purchased him a new expensive vehicle that he conned her into paying for-but yet his name was on the title. Then he left her for an even younger woman and took the new vehicle with him-on her dime of course. He is now a GREAT GRANDFATHER, guys, and he has a girlfriend (a different one) younger than me-his daughter. He’s still macking on chicks and ruining lives while being that old, not rich, and he has freakin’ cancer. I kid you not. All because he’s still good looking at that age.
Ok I know this isn’t related to the video itself but my god I love that Your Lie in April art from the thumbnail. But yeah these stories are really sad, if any of you are going through this I hope y’all are doing alright
@@warmasterwinter4286 Niiice, I’ve been wanting to get on that for a while now. I’m so busy with other stuff tho rip, I’m tryna make my own anime so it’s hard to find time
I knew a couple that got divorced cuz the guy told her she couldn't have any guy friends or girls friends cuz he was worried she cheat on him. They are divorced but still together because he's fine when a the piece of paper isn't involved because it makes him crazy!?!?
I worked with this girl in high school who I was close friends with but also had a giant crush on. She knew this but never gave me the time of day. She'd occasionally tell me about her boyfriends including one she was on-and-off with named Mark. He'll be important later. I go off to college and we stay in touch. She occasionally checks in and cries to me about her terrible luck with men. The whole time, I'm just in the phone like "yeah, that sucks. Wish there was someone who was interested 🙄". I join the Army and start ROTC and she finally starts becoming interested. I had lost a bunch of weight and was getting my life together, so I didn't think anything of it. She asks if I want to hook up when I come back for winter break and I agree. Over the course of two weeks, the crazy reveals itself. First she tells me how much she's always liked me and says she "wants to get married someday 😉". That was already a red flag, but I played along to see how it was going to go. The next day, she reintroduces me to Mark who she's stayed "close friends" with all these years. I come to realize Mark is her drinking/drug buddy among other things. She begins asking me when I'll become an officer, what I'll make, family benefits, etc. She immediately starts looking at houses on Zillow with that information. She also informs me that she wants to find a house with a detached pool house/shack that Mark can live in so he can raise his own kid she's promised him to mother. Says she hopes that's okay; not kidding you. The night I cut ties, she asks me to "help her restock" and buy three liquor bottles. I do and she nearly drinks two of them herself and gets black out drunk. She wants to have sex and I say no given her state and she then tries to force herself on me and I run out the house. She calls me the next day saying she doesn't remember anything and wants me to come back but I say no and never return. I had seen enough crazy for one lifetime.
We were engaged at 18 because we were young dumb Christians & that’s just what young dumb Christians do in the Bible Belt. Found out she was cheating on me with a co worker on our honeymoon. Found a whole deleted file of nudes she had sent to him when we got back home. Our marriage lasted a whole month after dating for around 2 years. I’m now 25 & still recovering from the trauma of being that young & naive & divorced.
7 years is too long to be "still recovering" from a 2 year relationship. I would recommend therapy so you can get back into the dating world and be able to move on.
@@BeczaBot I have been through therapy, got medicated, don’t need medication anymore, & have had a very stable & healthy relationship for 1.5 years now & counting. My hold up stems more so from unlearning religious trama than the relationship itself if that makes sense
"...young dumb Christians & that’s just what young dumb Christians do in the Bible Belt..." Is it though? Is it really what "...just what young dumb Christians do in the Bible Belt..." do?
@@Caderic I travelled all over the Bible Belt & still do from time to time (I live in Cincinnati now), & my dad works in the ministry - the amount of people I know who were raised evangelical & got married very young is a high number. Very very very few are still together or in a happy marriage, & that’s just of the ones I know. There’s plenty more on platforms like TH-cam who have documented their walk away from Christianity that started as a result of feeling pushed or pressured to marry young. This is something that is more common than people think in the Bible Belt, & why the divorce rate for evangelicals is higher than the national average, according to a study conducted by Baylor University. Of course there are plenty who are happily married, but the facts are what the facts are. Young evangelicals who are ignorant to the realities of marriage are some of the most vulnerable to getting divorced, you could say the same about non-Christians, but the fact is that young evangelicals are raised to feel like marriage is the most important thing to god & that marrying is a gateway out of sexual repression via purity culture. So yes, young dumb Christians in the Bible Belt do this because they are young & not aware of the ramifications or responsibilities most of the time.
So rule of thumb, don't get involved with people who have no financial stability and don't get involved with people who want to rush a relationship with you. Usually there are red flags, but many of us are too infatuated to see those flags because of those rose colored glasses.
She wanted to get out of her mother's house, got pregnant so her mother would consent to the wedding, she said that she would have been better off staying at her mother's house than being with me . Shes been married five times, kids with six different men. Im very lucky to have gotten rid of her in only ten months of marriage.
Woah woah woah woah woah wait a minute no. 5 was wayyyyy too short of a story for that statement. I'm gonna need more deets on that one, what in the hell did you send your mom that could set someone off so badly they try to kill you!? How did she try to kill you!? I have so many questions
My ex-wife (after having two kids 2 yrs later) used sex as a weapon and also used it to get her way, I said screw that so I took my two kids and I moved out. Raised the kids myself.Her after our divorce, she managed to get married 3 more times and wound up single again. My two boys are in their 50's and yes I got married at a very young age, no regrets. I did nothing wrong to her and this is what happens when a married woman hangs around single females. (there gossiping ruined my marriage).
This is so alien to me. I cannot see myself putting my trust in someone enough to spend my life with them. Lot of crazies out there but lot of good folk too i guess.
Well, I LOVE being married. I was dedicated to my wife before I ever knew her, and she to me. I was also determined to find the right woman, or no woman at all. Nothing in between. Out of my parents and my generation, in my family, out of all the marriages I have one uncles that has never been divorced (he married a divorced woman) and one cousin that hasn't been divorced. Then there is one aunt, one uncle, and one cousin that never married. That's two parents, a brother, a sister, two aunts, 5 uncles, 11 cousins. Between them there are 21 divorces. That is out of 22 people, three of which have never been married. I was not going to get a divorce if it meant not getting married. But again, I love being married , and wouldn't change it for the world.
@Caderic that's great to hear. I just like being alone. But its genuinely heartwarming to see people loving someone and wanting to spend the rest of their lives with them. Good luck on your continued happy marriage.
@@schizophrenicmelancholy2706 no offense but even then people change and, like the second story, it is entirely possible to get completely shafted. Honestly Its Ashot is right. Just dont get married. It is bringing the government (marriage is legally binding) into something they dont need to be in.
When so many things seemed to be for someone else I brought so many thoughtful things with personal ideas from chats yet she clearly did not know me at all it went down hill from there
something doesn't make sense in the Navy guys story they don't offer you to ranger school prior to BCT my son is a ranger and if you already went through navy BCT they have waivers like something is wrong
sorry to say it like that but the wife has applied for credit cards that her husband doesn't know about and spent a lot of money on fancy dress jewelry and a fucking horse and the husband just has a clarifying conversation with her and then continues to do his job the expectation that she will get better. How naive and unrealistic can you be the moment you found out about the credit cards you should have filed for divorce. Such people don't change, they just learn to lie better
Theeee make me think about or my parents definitely should have divorce way erleir my dad was sbusive in every way w she was 17 he was 21 they married Cause of a baby she’s with someone else and is way happier
Not me, But my Mom made a Mistake of Marrying my Dad before I was Born, One Time Before I Existed, My Mother had an affair with another Guy whose Name i can't say because she never mentioned his name to me not once for the amount of times she talked about it to me, but yeah she had an affair, got pregnant with his kid, and then when my Dad found out about it, and instead of Divorcing her on the spot, He Threatened to Divorce her if my Mom goes through with the pregnancy and Mom Agrees to the terms and aborts the child in a heartbeat, and worse? When I came out from my Mom's You-Know-Where, They DIVORCED EACH OTHER ANYWAYS!!!! What's the point of threatening my Mom to Divorce her if they were gonna end up Divorcing Each other anyway, and for those asking, "Why did they Divorce each other?" ....Let's just say that My Dad Loves the Devil's Lettuce over his own Family, Let's just say that he committed a Sin of Gluttony and spended my Mom's Savings on Devil's Lettuce, Not to mention, my Dad crashed a Truck into a Brick wall on purpose.
Your mother was in the wrong and your father gave her an ultimatum. They still divorced. Don't get married if you think you'll only have one hickup. Also you might not be your pappys baby.
@@comradesam3382Or raise another mans seed, also all of this comes from her "saint" mother "after" the divorce. Also sounds like her mom may have did it again....with her.
@@keonimarcelo5813Or raise another mans seed, also all of this comes from her "saint" mother "after" the divorce. Also sounds like her mom may have did it again....with her. Everything is daddy's fault for not wanting to be a victim of paternity fraud, and still staying with a cheater. Most couples don't outlast a chest baby.
When I found out she was having an affair It was my second marriage, it lasted less than a year. my first was 13 years and two Children (no regrets) whatever the drama of divorce I had two wonderful girls, my third 40 plus years and happy together and a Son to round out my family. Women add a lot to men’s lives, some drama, some fun, some sadness, lots of happiness, and a lot of help. That’s why God said It’s not good that man should live alone I will make a helpmate for him. So he took a rib from man and made woman, to be equal with him and they’re supposed to work together to make a home and life!
Well to bad. This js exactly why no fault divorce need to end. Makes both men and women take a long ss gime to grt engaged and traps women frim leaving. If she chets it het ass on the line for fines fees penaltys.
🧠🧠 finish listening to ALL the stories here th-cam.com/play/PL5FcevqxOz5tuU1qghkOUcBqGKHKXHO0f.html
…this is probably a thing I’m not TH-camr-er(?) enough to know, but how was this comment made 3 days before the release?
@@schizophrenicmelancholy2706it was unlisted but still watchable
see women would never marry me so i dont have to worry about a divorce the only woman who would marry me is someone who can win a debate and not argue thats the only person who could stand me
Interesting gender split here. Outside of infidelity, the male stories were "she was a gold digger" and the female stories were "he slammed me into a wall".
"She didn't love me and wanted me destitute"
"He didn't love me and threatened to kill me"
Both horrid, but interestingly in different angles ye
This absolutely is due to biological differences and what society trains us to believe about our genders.
@@SpiderkillersInc What? Blaming abuse/ violence on biology is comical.
I would have a pretty hard time slamming a dude into a wall
@p.t.9171 Not at all. Very common in the USA
My parent’s’ marriage was definitely a mistake (though neither would say it out loud). They were both on the rebound from other relationships and both wanted children. There was no cheating, but a thousand small things turned into a thousand big things. They lasted for six years and two kids before breaking up, then another four years before the divorce was final. They are now both in happy relationships.
Glad they could recognize they weren't good for eachother and are both happy now.
Story 16
re: People who suddenly change after they get married.
Now that the other person is trapped, they can show their true colors. That's literally how abusers reel people in: lure them in far enough that they trust you, they're locked in with you, and ideally they're isolated with you. Classic manipulative abuser.
People DO hold their true selves back till marriage or pregnancy. You can look at their parent's marriages for warning signs. If one of them seems trapped by circumnstance but not actually happy in the marriage then thats the example of marriage their children grew up with
I want to be able to say "noooo people break cycles it's DIFFERENT!!" especially because my parents broke the cycle like that
But my ex's family was a mess and my ex cheated on me so idk you might have a point
Fortunately, I had that moment two weeks before the wedding. I had a flash of myself sitting on the bed on my wedding night, realizing I had just made the biggest mistake of my life.
? What happened??
It is refreshing to know that their marriage lasted only two weeks, and that the gold digger did not get anything in the form of a settlement.
My grandma got married when my mom was a lil baby. In that time where she lived, it was increadebly hard to live as a single mother. Some months she was starving and had barely anything to eat! Her new husband told her a few days after the wedding to ditch the baby and he tought the grandma would surely chose him over a baby since he was financially stable and could easely provide for her. She filed for divorce in less then a week.
Welfare now makes leeching extremely easy for "single" mother's.
Wow. Just, wow.
After I got pregnant he started fights in the car almost every time we went out. The moment I was in the car I was stuck and had to sit there while he yelled or forced me to have conversations I was not ready to have. Anytime we would visit my family he would start a fight afterwards. Eventually I stopped wanting to go places with him at all. I used to have to sneak out at night just to see my best friend. He then started coming home and finding reasons to fight and taking off while I slept in the floor beside our son's bed. We split a month after our son's 1st birthday, but I couldn't remember the last time he said he loved me or kissed me hello/goodbye. We're still legally married because he hasn't completed his paperwork. I'm in a happy relationship with a new child and custody of our son.
My ex used to start fighting with me as soon as we got in the car and started driving somewhere, and also would tell me how to drive the whole way (even though I’d been driving for 20+ years with a good record). It got to the point I just didn’t want to get in a car with her or go anywhere with her. Finally got divorced, years later when I started dating again I was driving with my gf to go have breakfast and started having severe anxiety because I was thinking that at any minute she was going to start fighting/arguing with me. I’m better now, but that’s no way to live.
Yeah, some people totally fake it till the marriage license gets filed, then turn around and treat their partner like they're private property. They think that marriage gives you the right to do whatever you want with another person; their body, their platonic relationships, their finances, everything. It's batshit bonkers and if your spouse ever pulls any of this territorial paranoid bs pls get help and get out.
There are usually signs of fake though...but people don't want to see it for a plethora of reasons. Sometime it's because they are fake too and don't realize it or want to realize it.
I moved across the country with my college sweetheart and a year later she started complaining about having no friends and being isolated. I encouraged her to enroll back in school and make friends but she said it wasn't the right time. She cheated on me and blamed me for her actions. Later she said she did it to hurt me in the worst way because I was succeeding in my career and she felt stuck, even though she forced us to move.
Ahw im so sorry to hear 🫂 you deserve better
6:21 the reason why people suddenly change in this manner is because abusive people know their behavior isolates them from people so they act like totally different people until they feel like they have you locked in, and then the facade slips and they show who they really are
But they're capable of being nice for years and existing in a happy relationship... why do they want to destroy that? Why don't they just go "this person loves me, this is really nice, we can have a happy life". Why instead make the other person miserable and make them hate you? I don't get it.
@@GuacamoleKun here's the thing, you're thinking about this logically.... do you really think that someone whose brain is warped enough to want to harm their fellow humans for no reason, is going to be able to think with that much depth about what they're doing?
Yep. Most manipulators and abusers aren't gonna openly act out until they're sure you won't leave them. I know a couple who met online and everything went well for 6 months when they were meeting once a week and talking over the phone every couple nights. Then when they move in together (and were trapped in a lease together) the dude immeadiately became abusive and controlling.
Not to mention, there are plenty of people who dont understand they're abusive, usually financially or emotionally. We don't consider it as serious as physical abuse and alot of people aren't socialized to look for it, so without knowing someone for a long time, you might not clock them as an abuser until its too late.
My mom had my older brother out of wedlock in '87, and subsequently found out the father (who was a high-school sports coach) was having an affair with several female high-school students, so suffice to say that was over. Her father wouldn't tolerate her being an unwed single mom, so he shoved her and my dad together (he was a coworker of my grandfather and didn't mind she had a baby). They weren't in love, had nothing in common, and no business being together, but they got married and got pregnant with me on the honeymoon. That same honeymoon my dad was in the car of a ride and he lifted his arm to get my mom to sit next to him and snuggle, and she was physically repulsed by his pit stains. That's when she knew they'd made a horrible mistake because we all sweat but when you're in love or even in like that doesn't matter. By the time the wedding photos came back they were getting divorced.
What she couldn't just get him some anti perspirant?
Wowwww ur brother was born the same year as my mom nice!!!
Well I feel for your mom being forced into being married to someone she didn't even like probably. No one should be forced to marry anyone
@@bendakstarkiller3407It eas just one of the things thatt make you realise thatt you are aking a mistake not actually thr reason
6:21 There are signs, but people ignore them. They may not hit you until they marry tou, but there are all kinds of red flags up until that point. People don't change all that much. It's up to you to become informed, make slow decisions, and to vet people properly.
I agree there are signs but most of the time they aren't that clear, and is not like people "change", they just hide their true self and some are pretty good are it.
I'm sure they are plenty of people you had met personally that you didn't know o don't know how bad they truly are. How many times have you been surprised at a family member, a neighbor or even a friend being aggressive or violent? And you are supposed to "know" this person, they are just good at hiding it. They usually love bomb their victims and hide their horrible self until they feel they trapped them (marriage/pregnancy), and just then the cracks begin to show. These guys on these stories went 0-100 quickly, that is why their victims scape so fast, others are more pacient and begin slowly and also know how to pick , so their victims had a harder time scaping, they drag their self esteem, they cut their resources and social circle, so it is more difficult to leave, and they don't just trick their partner but also everyone around them, family, friends, neighbors, coworker, those are the worst. So give a break to the victims, because these monster had also trick you into thinking they weren't bad, you just didn't get to met their real side like their victims.
People don't change much, but do act well.
Finally someone said it. Can't say how many times I've observed relationships where one of the partners seems legally blind by how they blatantly ignore subtle(and sometimes not so subtle) red flag behavior
I agree...there are always signs. Yes, there are exceptions to the rule, but those are so rare that "you" (the "royal' you) are not it.
It was a bit longer than a year, but one of my step aunts moved from western NC to Atlanta GA. She moved in with her new husband after a 3 month engagement, she spent almost 15 months where she'd get in a fight with her husband, come back to NC for a week, and then go back to Atlanta for a month only for them to have another big blow out and repeating the cycle.
The huge F.U. came when my father and myself got called to drive down to Atlanta from NC to drive a U-haul full of my step aunts crap back up to NC. My aunt gave the family a sob story about how she just couldn't even stand one more day in Georgia. My dad and me agree to go get her, but she has to have ALL of her stuff loaded in the truck because we don't want to spend all night drive AND packing. But wouldn't you know it, we get down there and there's NOTHING packed up because my aunt and her former husband had spent the 6 hour travel time in a screaming match. By the time we got there the police were trying to referee the situation as they both were fighting over random crap they both of them were claiming they owned. And not even value items, but just random crap that both sides wanted to keep
I’m not gonna read all that
I read it.
Some people are very good at wearing mask. They also have the belief that if your married you’re in it for life or don’t think that person would ever divorce them.
When my ex introduced me by his ex fiances name, a week after getting married.
Also came out that the spontanious trip to vagas and spur of the moment wedding, coincided with the wedding plans with his ex.
He never did see me as a person, just a place holder who could be slotted into the spot he had assigned 'wife' in his perfect ideal of his future. It certainly explains why he was so thorough in shutting me down any time I had an original thought or idea that wasn't some veriation of his own perceptions.
So you basically were his exes replacement , since he couldn't have her to himself . Wow just disgusting
@@phantomvampyressshadowkiss4690 tbh, it's the least of what he did. He was a disgusting piece of trash on every single level conceivable; neckbeard, nice guy, and a laundry list of criminal charges. For context, after the divorce, he died in jail and I was relieved.
@@fleurpouvior2967 oh I agree 100
My ex turned out to be an addict, lied to me for over a year about going to school and work. He was smoking and getting druk in the park instead of building our future and left me with 10.000 euros in debt. I was done the moment he told me.
My second wife was the biggest blunder of my life. I caught her cheating with the guy she’s married to now within about 6-7 months from getting married. My first wife and I two daughters and 13 years before she said she met someone she wanted to date I gave her an open marriage until we could work out custody of our children then we would divorce. Until my girls were taken care of no divorce. So then I decided I was done with women and lived a single life until a woman from church called and told me she had a friend that I should date I told her no she said I owed her a favor so I had to take this lady on one date. I did she also owed the same lady a favor so she said one date and we’re done. 40 + years later still married! Best favor I ever had to repay!
I feel so bad for these people bruh- but I'm glad to hear the 3rd story had a happy ending. Same with story 8.
8:01 She's right about the chemicals, but wrong about *no* sunscreen usage. There are mineral based sunscreens that don't have any of the chemicals associated with endocrine dysfunction and cancer.
I think she was just batshit crazy if you ask me.
You say there must have been signs in the case of that one person. People can hide stuff for a long time. Then when they think they have you “locked down” they think they can let their toxicity out. I have heard it a thousand times. Don’t judge.
So many people change after they think they "got someone " its like a switch gets flipped
There are signs.
@@Caderic not always though. People hide things
@@phantomvampyressshadowkiss4690 Yeah, but that "not always" is the extreme exception to the rule. So much so, "you're" not that exception. There is always signs. People just ignore them for a long lit of reasons.
Story 3 is sad but hilarious
Especially the buying the horse part
I often wonder if we just separated manymen and women from each other for at least 4 years, get them tons of therapy & self-help, i believe many couples would be way more stable
Separation? That’s exactly how you ensure their problems don’t get solved.
@@littlemoth4956 on the bright side, those of us who get along won't have to hear it see the fighting between the hateful men and hateful women.
The world isn’t sitting around trying to solve problems between couples? Like who exactly is ‘we’?
I agree
How about you grow-up, be an adult, and doing all that stuff (if needed) before marriage. If you need all that for 4 years, then you aren't ready to get married.
Remember... being singke is alot cheaper than having a divorce
Sorry to all of you who’ve went through or had to pick up the pieces of someone else’s shitty relationship. Hope you guys all find ways to heal into healthier people and can find a good loving person
Im glad I watch all these r/ videos at 1.5 speed. It took a little bit to get used to but after a while I understood everything and said me from watching a 20+ minute video
💯
I watch all kinds of videos at x1.25, x1.5, and even x2.0. Once you figure out what is the right speed, it's awesome.
How about when I came home sick from work only to find my husband in bed with his boyfriend 13 days after we were married
Horrible....so sorry..... what a scumbag!!
Ouch. Sorry to hear.
"Hubsy, I look pretty funny as a BEARD."
Video should be called; "Ignoring red flags fails".
My brother wasn't married for half a year. We were telling him it wasn't right.
That one which the OP's sister being bestfriend with her ex-husband and helped him to be comfortable with his sexuality is heartwarming. Sometimes people don't work out as married couple but they do as best friend
He used her and if they'd have had kids, never mind. You must be a bleeding heart misogynist.
I have a gold digger mother AND father (not together anymore). They are both ridiculously hot, exceedingly charming etc. Nothing is more deceptive than the appearance of goodness on a hot person. And funny how many hot people are so entitled and used to getting their way on everything BECAUSE of their good looks that it kind of turns them into trash people. They get so well versed in manipulating people with their looks that it’s almost second nature to them. I’ve watched these two people go through lovers like water, using and discarding them one after another and often multiple people at once that don’t know about each other. Either one of them could get pretty much anything they want in life because of it. My mom literally hit a bridge drunk driving and did massive damage and she got out of trouble with police (all men) by crying and batting those eyelashes and playing the upset little girl routine with a million excuses as to why she was driving drunk and caused so much damage. It was all “poor her”, she was the victim. As soon as the police officers started falling for her ploy because she was so dam- hot, she turned on that million watt smile and got flirty and they fell all over themselves to baby her. They took her home instead and wrote it off as an honest highway accident due to some other reason. My dad meanwhile married a younger woman who had a solid career and could bankroll him so he didn’t have to work too much if he didn’t want to. She caught him cheating on her and forgave him. He then cheated again with someone else right after she purchased him a new expensive vehicle that he conned her into paying for-but yet his name was on the title. Then he left her for an even younger woman and took the new vehicle with him-on her dime of course. He is now a GREAT GRANDFATHER, guys, and he has a girlfriend (a different one) younger than me-his daughter. He’s still macking on chicks and ruining lives while being that old, not rich, and he has freakin’ cancer. I kid you not. All because he’s still good looking at that age.
Having such good-looking parents, I'm curious how pretty you are yourself
Yea that s pretty previlege for ya
Also unless it's rape, you literally can't use someone. They were getting something as well to have gotten something.
Ok I know this isn’t related to the video itself but my god I love that Your Lie in April art from the thumbnail. But yeah these stories are really sad, if any of you are going through this I hope y’all are doing alright
Rewatching it right now!
I felt myself tearing up as soon as my eyes caught it.
@@PetrolHeadMotorsport **For You begins to play in the background**
@@warmasterwinter4286 Niiice, I’ve been wanting to get on that for a while now. I’m so busy with other stuff tho rip, I’m tryna make my own anime so it’s hard to find time
I knew a couple that got divorced cuz the guy told her she couldn't have any guy friends or girls friends cuz he was worried she cheat on him. They are divorced but still together because he's fine when a the piece of paper isn't involved because it makes him crazy!?!?
I think it's just him...NOT the paper.
I don't watch the screen with these, so a small sound between stories and commentary to signal the change would be helpful. Please 🙏.
I worked with this girl in high school who I was close friends with but also had a giant crush on. She knew this but never gave me the time of day. She'd occasionally tell me about her boyfriends including one she was on-and-off with named Mark. He'll be important later.
I go off to college and we stay in touch. She occasionally checks in and cries to me about her terrible luck with men. The whole time, I'm just in the phone like "yeah, that sucks. Wish there was someone who was interested 🙄".
I join the Army and start ROTC and she finally starts becoming interested. I had lost a bunch of weight and was getting my life together, so I didn't think anything of it. She asks if I want to hook up when I come back for winter break and I agree. Over the course of two weeks, the crazy reveals itself. First she tells me how much she's always liked me and says she "wants to get married someday 😉". That was already a red flag, but I played along to see how it was going to go. The next day, she reintroduces me to Mark who she's stayed "close friends" with all these years. I come to realize Mark is her drinking/drug buddy among other things. She begins asking me when I'll become an officer, what I'll make, family benefits, etc. She immediately starts looking at houses on Zillow with that information. She also informs me that she wants to find a house with a detached pool house/shack that Mark can live in so he can raise his own kid she's promised him to mother. Says she hopes that's okay; not kidding you.
The night I cut ties, she asks me to "help her restock" and buy three liquor bottles. I do and she nearly drinks two of them herself and gets black out drunk. She wants to have sex and I say no given her state and she then tries to force herself on me and I run out the house. She calls me the next day saying she doesn't remember anything and wants me to come back but I say no and never return. I had seen enough crazy for one lifetime.
Foolish for not cutting ties sooner. Why buy the liquor????
We were engaged at 18 because we were young dumb Christians & that’s just what young dumb Christians do in the Bible Belt. Found out she was cheating on me with a co worker on our honeymoon. Found a whole deleted file of nudes she had sent to him when we got back home. Our marriage lasted a whole month after dating for around 2 years. I’m now 25 & still recovering from the trauma of being that young & naive & divorced.
7 years is too long to be "still recovering" from a 2 year relationship. I would recommend therapy so you can get back into the dating world and be able to move on.
@@BeczaBot I have been through therapy, got medicated, don’t need medication anymore, & have had a very stable & healthy relationship for 1.5 years now & counting. My hold up stems more so from unlearning religious trama than the relationship itself if that makes sense
"...young dumb Christians & that’s just what young dumb Christians do in the Bible Belt..." Is it though? Is it really what "...just what young dumb Christians do in the Bible Belt..." do?
@@Caderic I travelled all over the Bible Belt & still do from time to time (I live in Cincinnati now), & my dad works in the ministry - the amount of people I know who were raised evangelical & got married very young is a high number. Very very very few are still together or in a happy marriage, & that’s just of the ones I know. There’s plenty more on platforms like TH-cam who have documented their walk away from Christianity that started as a result of feeling pushed or pressured to marry young. This is something that is more common than people think in the Bible Belt, & why the divorce rate for evangelicals is higher than the national average, according to a study conducted by Baylor University. Of course there are plenty who are happily married, but the facts are what the facts are. Young evangelicals who are ignorant to the realities of marriage are some of the most vulnerable to getting divorced, you could say the same about non-Christians, but the fact is that young evangelicals are raised to feel like marriage is the most important thing to god & that marrying is a gateway out of sexual repression via purity culture. So yes, young dumb Christians in the Bible Belt do this because they are young & not aware of the ramifications or responsibilities most of the time.
You’ve realised your marriage is a mistake when you realise your a mistake
After our honeymoon, my wife said she hated her job and wanted to quit.
So rule of thumb, don't get involved with people who have no financial stability and don't get involved with people who want to rush a relationship with you. Usually there are red flags, but many of us are too infatuated to see those flags because of those rose colored glasses.
No the people that say the person changed I feel like ignored the red flags that where being shown that the person was not a good partner
Your vids make my day! Thanks! ❤🥰👍
She wanted to get out of her mother's house, got pregnant so her mother would consent to the wedding, she said that she would have been better off staying at her mother's house than being with me . Shes been married five times, kids with six different men. Im very lucky to have gotten rid of her in only ten months of marriage.
Woah woah woah woah woah wait a minute no. 5 was wayyyyy too short of a story for that statement. I'm gonna need more deets on that one, what in the hell did you send your mom that could set someone off so badly they try to kill you!? How did she try to kill you!? I have so many questions
Speedrun: riggy said "dont go to the factory" because bad things happened and the boss is lucky.
why are relationships like being held hostage?
Some are. Most are not.
There is ALWAYS warning signs. People just don't want to admit it!
It's usually a lack of commitment but I'm going to listen to this and see if they change my mind
Ok. These were legit horror stories
@@cynthiaholland13 But still lack of commitment, at least on one side of it.
My ex-wife (after having two kids 2 yrs later) used sex as a weapon and also used it to get her way, I said screw that so I took my two kids and I moved out. Raised the kids myself.Her after our divorce, she managed to get married 3 more times and wound up single again. My two boys are in their 50's and yes I got married at a very young age, no regrets. I did nothing wrong to her and this is what happens when a married woman hangs around single females. (there gossiping ruined my marriage).
Fellas, getting married is a bad idea. The deck is stacked against you! Don’t do it!!!
This is so alien to me. I cannot see myself putting my trust in someone enough to spend my life with them. Lot of crazies out there but lot of good folk too i guess.
Well, I LOVE being married. I was dedicated to my wife before I ever knew her, and she to me. I was also determined to find the right woman, or no woman at all. Nothing in between.
Out of my parents and my generation, in my family, out of all the marriages I have one uncles that has never been divorced (he married a divorced woman) and one cousin that hasn't been divorced. Then there is one aunt, one uncle, and one cousin that never married.
That's two parents, a brother, a sister, two aunts, 5 uncles, 11 cousins. Between them there are 21 divorces. That is out of 22 people, three of which have never been married. I was not going to get a divorce if it meant not getting married.
But again, I love being married , and wouldn't change it for the world.
@Caderic that's great to hear. I just like being alone. But its genuinely heartwarming to see people loving someone and wanting to spend the rest of their lives with them. Good luck on your continued happy marriage.
@@HSamee " I just like being alone." I want to add...There is NOTHING wrong with that. Some people might tell you else wise, don't listen!
So the end story I’m getting is never get married
Eh. It’s more like “run your background checks more thoroughly”.
@@schizophrenicmelancholy2706 no offense but even then people change and, like the second story, it is entirely possible to get completely shafted.
Honestly Its Ashot is right. Just dont get married. It is bringing the government (marriage is legally binding) into something they dont need to be in.
@@DanielGonzalez-qk6sd Eh #2. I'll take the risk.
@@schizophrenicmelancholy2706 then, and I genuinely mean this, good luck and I hope things work out.
@@DanielGonzalez-qk6sd I gotta get a girl first. By far I have little luck on that. 😅
I knew the moment he put his hands on me, left me a huge bruise, and flipped the bed on me. All while I was pregnant with my son.
When so many things seemed to be for someone else I brought so many thoughtful things with personal ideas from chats yet she clearly did not know me at all it went down hill from there
I just started re watching your lie in april this morning stop making me feel even worse for whats to come
OP should've dumped the wife as soon as she racked up all that debt and bought a freaking horse.
The 73 days story has me wondering if Kim Kardashian has a secret reddit account 👀
something doesn't make sense in the Navy guys story they don't offer you to ranger school prior to BCT my son is a ranger and if you already went through navy BCT they have waivers like something is wrong
That #7 response was a little off. Why was the guy expected to have seen signs of her potentially being a psycho but the women were not?
6 months in he said he wasn’t sure if he loved me or not anymore… I stuck around for another 6 years 😂 should have ended there really!
After having children... our kids are ugly...
Husband and their....? Us this a polygamous marriage
I married a toaster a d he cheated on me with my boyfriend
Kudos to the dad though.
Yeah it took me 4 and 1/2 years to realize my future ex husband was a waste of space.
Currently going through a divorce
Stories of when you lead with every body part but your brains 🤦♀️
sorry to say it like that but the wife has applied for credit cards that her husband doesn't know about and spent a lot of money on fancy dress jewelry and a fucking horse and the husband just has a clarifying conversation with her and then continues to do his job the expectation that she will get better. How naive and unrealistic can you be the moment you found out about the credit cards you should have filed for divorce. Such people don't change, they just learn to lie better
Theeee make me think about or my parents definitely should have divorce way erleir my dad was sbusive in every way w she was 17 he was 21 they married Cause of a baby she’s with someone else and is way happier
When God revealed to me that my ex wife was a lying, cheating, manipulative witch.
Military guy in Story #3 seems like he talks too damn much.
The girl in the thumbnail is dying which is why the boy is crying. The anime is called your lie in april.
Why don’t these ppl get it anuled
Gotta say that thumbnail is terrible for the subject of the video.
Lol why the video is unavailable
Not me, But my Mom made a Mistake of Marrying my Dad before I was Born, One Time Before I Existed, My Mother had an affair with another Guy whose Name i can't say because she never mentioned his name to me not once for the amount of times she talked about it to me, but yeah she had an affair, got pregnant with his kid, and then when my Dad found out about it, and instead of Divorcing her on the spot, He Threatened to Divorce her if my Mom goes through with the pregnancy and Mom Agrees to the terms and aborts the child in a heartbeat, and worse? When I came out from my Mom's You-Know-Where, They DIVORCED EACH OTHER ANYWAYS!!!! What's the point of threatening my Mom to Divorce her if they were gonna end up Divorcing Each other anyway, and for those asking, "Why did they Divorce each other?" ....Let's just say that My Dad Loves the Devil's Lettuce over his own Family, Let's just say that he committed a Sin of Gluttony and spended my Mom's Savings on Devil's Lettuce, Not to mention, my Dad crashed a Truck into a Brick wall on purpose.
Ooof, if you are genuinely curious, my guess was the afair pregnancy he wanted to get out of paying for child support, as for after...
He wasn't even paying shit regardless so...
Your mother was in the wrong and your father gave her an ultimatum. They still divorced. Don't get married if you think you'll only have one hickup. Also you might not be your pappys baby.
@@comradesam3382Or raise another mans seed, also all of this comes from her "saint" mother "after" the divorce. Also sounds like her mom may have did it again....with her.
@@keonimarcelo5813Or raise another mans seed, also all of this comes from her "saint" mother "after" the divorce. Also sounds like her mom may have did it again....with her. Everything is daddy's fault for not wanting to be a victim of paternity fraud, and still staying with a cheater. Most couples don't outlast a chest baby.
Good night
Drugs
Oh come on, you can't write a title like that and then put a couple in the thumbnail that "divorced" because the girl died of blood cancer...😭
Talk about money BEFORE you get married, geez
Arranged marriages actually work out better than Western marriages amazingly
not first
actually 3rd
Actually 1st lol
I don’t need the f-cking commentary...just READ the stories and let us think our own thoughts. 😊
His channel. Don’t like it then leave
Oh, I did toots, but it’s also useful for a creator to know WHY. 😘 @@roreo1612
Your background is most annoying
When I found out she was having an affair It was my second marriage, it lasted less than a year. my first was 13 years and two Children (no regrets) whatever the drama of divorce I had two wonderful girls, my third 40 plus years and happy together and a Son to round out my family. Women add a lot to men’s lives, some drama, some fun, some sadness, lots of happiness, and a lot of help. That’s why God said It’s not good that man should live alone I will make a helpmate for him. So he took a rib from man and made woman, to be equal with him and they’re supposed to work together to make a home and life!
Nah, most of us are golddiggers and ruin y'all and our children's lives.
Please stop editorializing it doesnt add anything
Well to bad. This js exactly why no fault divorce need to end. Makes both men and women take a long ss gime to grt engaged and traps women frim leaving. If she chets it het ass on the line for fines fees penaltys.
Dude that's psychotic, the government should have no place in forcing people to stay together that's creepy af
You should go to your English class or get lime juice first.