The idea that i should be 'beyond anger' was an ego trick that imprisoned me for years. Thank you for pointing this out. It was not until i understood that there are no wrong emotions and gave up trying to 'be a better person' that i found freedom.
Larry Carpenter I am myself have never repressed anger much. I pretty much did the opposite... I let it out like a roaring lion, and it got me jail sentences and all kinds of grief. However, I can understand why people do it. I think society for the most part associate anger with loss of control, immaturity, and someone who’s impulsive and out of control. Things that are not necessarily good attributes, so I see why people would be prone to disasociating themselves from the notion of feeling any anger.
@@bklynboyeny Its particularly prevalent in British society. 'Stiff upper lip'. I'm only just realising not expressing my anger/hurt is disrespecting myself
Clare Dodd I have a belief today that as long as you express your anger in a way that is “healthy” ei; perhaps letting the other party know how you feel, and that you do not appreciate it, can be beneficial. Rather than the classic speak, hear, and see no evil road that only leads to coming unhinged at some point an committing murder. Lol.
I identify so much with your story about bullying and anger repression. My mom was also one of the reasons why I always tried so hard to not expressing anger, bc she always had a very impulsive and explosive personality, and she always have used that against me when I don't behave like she wants me to. So I frequently associate my expression of anger like one thing that will only triggers pain and punishment for me or someone else, but the more I repressed that, the more I feel that: I punish myself, feel pain and frustate myself. Now I'm really focusing in healing this wound, thank you for this video, it was very helpful for me.
I think it is also important for people to be aware of negative thought patterns and self-generated anger. 15 years ago, I listened to a lot of "angry" rock music that appealed to feelings of being misunderstood, invalidated, and unappreciated (under-valued). I thought this was releasing some of my angry emotions, but as the music and lyrics kept repeating those feelings of anger, and your mind keeps imagining scenarios that provoke an anger response, I found that I was angry all the time, and I had no idea why. It's like the expression "angry at the world". When I started having panic attacks, I learned that the brain doesn't discern the difference between a real threat and an imagined one. I had to realize that I wasn't releasing angry emotions, but actually feeding them and dwelling in them. It seems cliche to say rock music can have a negative effect on young people's psyche and emotional well-being, but in my case, it was absolutely true. Thank you for your videos. They've been very helpful.
Scott Ó hÓgáin You’re are spot on bro. I still listen to Rage against the machine and Other bands that validate my feelings of contempt for the world. And although I know this feeds my anger I can’t seem to let it go. I find myself listening to that kind of music even when I’m not angry. Lol 😂 Angry Chair - Alice In Chains Great song
bklynboyeny - I think this was one reason I liked Type O Negative. It was awesome music that validated "negative" thoughts and emotions, but injected it with a bit of quirky humor. Long live Lord Petrus. RIP.💚
Scott Ó hÓgáin Yo bro that insane. I’ve heard of that band vaguely many many years ago, and never got a chance to listen to them. Dig that link you sent me I Love the humor in it. They are also from my hometown... just look at my username. 😝
Your a genuinely nice person, and true anger can help you sometimes, for example in survival situations if someone is attacking you or insulting you, you can utilize that anger to protect yourself and others sometimes
Yes! It makes the subject more relatable instead of just information. I've learned that telling someone how to fix their issues isn't near as effective as telling them how you fixed your own lol.
I find it very hard to absorb what you say. Not because you speak too fast but it just sounds like you’re not stop talking. It makes me feel exhausted. If it’s possible I’d love if you could just not go so very fast. Thank you . Rta
Great videos Emerald.. I like your work very much. You give very clear and simple explanations of what a person needs to know to understand and start their healing journey. Thanks for all the efforts and knowledge sharing and sharing your own life experiences which is helping and will continue to help so many people who need to hear all this... I was repressing anger grief and lots more ... Through my journey of learning to be a Yoga therapist 😊 I found me and have learned to really be aware of myself and to not repress my emotions. Our body lets us know when we don't do justice to ourselves and that is what happened to me... I was severely stressed and anxious due to various challenges in life... Until I was very sick I did not learn that health issues and life issues were happening mostly because I was not supportive of my feelings. Never learnt that as a child... I didn't know how to say no... Now after a lot of repeated lessons from life, I have learnt to empower myself and am now much better off emotionally and physically.... I learnt a lot about myself from channels like yours... Thanks to the Multiverse and all of the helping hands and hearts.
I've heard repressed anger and emotional pain can manifest itself in physiological symptoms such as back pain,stomach problems etc. What's your opinion on this? Do you have any videos on the subject.
slarty bartfast56 Nicole Sachs TH-cam channel. I healed from back and wrist pain from watching her videos and videos like these about shadow work and doing the journaling.
You can also check out Dr. Gabor Mate on When the body says no. He tells so many moving stories about the relation between repressing emotions and severe illness later in life.
Bioenergetics. Get a rolling pin and run it over every muscle in your body you're able. It will immediately highlight your trigger points. Massaging these is as good as a trip to a chiropractor imo.
I can relate with a lot of your personal experiences with school and later life I’ve struggled to appear always calm and never angry. What I’ve found at work is a lot of people try to get me worked up for fun and I’ve hard to repress anger again and again they tell me bad things they have seen on the news that make me mad and watch my responses. I’ve only recently looked repressed anger and was shocked that so much of how I feel corresponded with it. Thank you for helping me understand there’s ways to deal with anger without bottling it up.
When I learned not to repress my anger so much, it really helped to create situations for myself where it can be transmuted into conscious action (like you recommended), where something can be done about a situation. For example, there are many injustices going on in the world, but if we take closer to inspection, there are actually many happening close to home that we can do something about. For some, once they discover these injustices, they respond outwardly with obvious anger and outrage. And it's completely understandable. But we must try to move past that. If someone feels confident that they can actually consciously impact the situation (or at least try and that they'll learn in the process), then discovering these injustices simply lights a fire underneath that person and the anger is transmuted into an almost infinite supply of energy. An energy that many people would be envious of. An energy that's ready to bring awareness to people, influence people, and change hearts and minds. Excellent video again Emerald! Keep slaying it :)
This video helped me alot. I'm 28 and just now realizing how much repressed anger has impacted my life. I just never dealt with it and instead drowned in alcohol. I've been doing some soul searching and trying to find why I'm so angry all the time. It finally feels like I'm on the right path in addressing my issues.
So well explained. I suffer the most terrible verbal abuse, shaming, belittling behaviour from my wife and I would just take and take it. I didn’t realise I was repressing my anger and even in therapy I was justifying all the abuse my wife threw at me. A couple of months into therapy my therapist said what would you like to say to your wife what’s screaming inside you. I let go of my anger in the session for the first time and as I was defending myself and attacking her I felt a tear in my eye, a tear of joy! I haven’t felt joy in a long time and since that session earlier in the week I have felt more joy in a week than the last few years. It’s like not experiencing anger makes you not experience joy. I realise that anger is really just saying my boundaries have been overstepped and I need to act. Next time she acts like that and I can feel my anger bullying rather than suppressing it I will use it positively. “I don’t like the way you are speaking to me, please stop, if you don’t I will leave the room until you can stop calling me names and have a civil discussion” Great video, you deserve more subscribers. Thanks for helping.
Hey Emerald!!! Good video!!! Much respect for being candid about your childhood. Takes A lot of humility to even discuss traumatic events like that. Glad to see you handled it, and took it in stride.
Omg i had such a similar experiences and you have explained it all so well. I was bullied because my parents told me to ignore it and forbid me to fight. All it would take to punch the wrongdoer in the stomach and bullying would stop in my case. I'd love to get my hands on those people now.
I wish I'd found your channel 5 years ago...however I probably found you just at the right time. Thank you for your work. Your experiences sound so familiar. You shine a light on everything I've been seeking and talk about it in a way that makes it easy to hear and receive...Thanks again.
Just discovered your channel the other day. It's helped me out quite a lot, and I also went through this phase in my middle school years. I repressed a lot of anger and got teased almost daily. My anger eventually burst and I got into fights at school and I didn't really have an outlet for it.
One thing that always triggers anger in me is when my girlfriend gets upset or hurt. Like, she twists her ankle, and my response is anger. I started to recognize that it is because I take on responsibility for her well being and I feel like any time she experiences negativity it's because I am failing at my duty as her protector. Through councelling I learned what "covert incest" is and how my relationship with my mother shaped all those to come. The beautiful part is, I have been able to talk to her about it and heal from a lot of that trauma. I still have to stop and take a breath to not get mad at myself for my gf being sad...😐
That's great that you've realized that and are working through it. My husband's mom, by no fault of her own, had a lot of issues that she was dealing with when my husband was a kid. And his dad wasn't really around that much. So, people (neighbors, family members, and acquaintances of the family) would tell him when he was 5 or 6, "You take care of your mother." So, he came to think of himself as the glue keeping things together. So, his response at present, to me getting hurt or being even the slightest bit dis-satisfied (and not necessarily with him) immediately makes him furious. He gets angry at me. But he really feels angry at himself for a perceived failure but it's easier to project that anger outward. Then he gets angry at himself for being angry, and it's just a Devil's Circle at that point. He's getting better with it though over the past few years as he starts to realize the things from his childhood that he thought he'd completely resolved but hadn't dealt with everything.
Exactly. Covert incest is basically where my mother unknowingly used me as an emotional "partner". My father wasn't allowed to be around because of his drug problem and my mother made sure I knew that part. It caused me to resent him for hurting her and for how poor we were. I was to make it all better though once I became a doctor and scared all the mice away because she hated them lol. It's hard to be the man of the house when you are 5 years old and have never known a male role model. It's also hard to recognize how damaging it all was because it was all in the name of love and it was obvious that she did everything she could and sacrificed her own comfort and needs for my sister and I. I'm so glad her and I have been able to talk about it.
The first 5 minutes or so of your video was so what I needed. It was as though I had been given permission to be angry. I do respond rather than react, but my ego was telling me to do neither and I was stuck. I found the courage this afternoon... down to you. Thank you 💜 🙏
Just wanted to say you are a beautiful young lady with a wonderful, personality, thank you for sharing and reaching out to help the world we love in. May peace and joy be your daily reality💫
This is such a helpful video! I have felt that years of repressed anger has finally caught up with me. I’ve noticed that in most recent times, I get triggered by the SMALLEST things: such as someone referring to another person as fat, someone chuckling at me for making a small mistake, etc etc. And then I tend to obsess about those little comments for weeks on end. It always feels maddening because the offenses are just so small, it comes down to a matter of me not being able to let go of anger and wanting my voice to be heard somehow. Not sure exactly what to do about this.
Yes! I've had major anxiety/depression after 2 bereavements.(my father and my mother who I hardly knew) and a break up that happened all at once...a heavy mix of unresolved abandonment issues and repressed anger. I'm finally recognising I am unable to express anger for fear of not being liked and so being abandoned. A therapist pointed out that it was the child who was abandoned being triggered by quite ordinary events. Just recognising this has helped but the recognition that the repressed anger doesn't go anywhere and sits in my body stopping me sleeping has been a major realisation. Hearing your analysis has confirmed this. The lack of sleep causes the anger to become anxiety and then becomes a vicious circle . I ended up in hospital as a result at one point. I too have had non dual experiences from meditation, blissful awareness of the immortal nature of being, yet this shadow has pulled me into suicidal ideation in the past. Hopefully I am beginning to understand the unconscious thanks to Jung and your videos and I am learning to balance myself Thank you for your great videos and insights. If you have a book id buy it but i couldn't see one...
I think as women we also have the additional whammy put on us to never feel or express anger, or we'll be perceived to be unattractive shrews by men. I grew up in a family where anger was not allowed on my fathers' side. My mother would encourage me to get mad when appropriate but if I did because of something she did that wasn't allowed, and if I let my temper get the better of me I was shut down by my father and told to keep it to myself so there were mixed messages. I realised that smoking cigarettes was my way to suppress anger after thinking the same way as you for years and identifying as 'the one who never gets angry and is always chill". That all blew up in my face when I finally realised that deep down I was really angry. :D I'm really enjoying all your videos so far. You have a really vast understanding of many things and speak them astutely.
Thank you! It was a big fear of mine when I was 12 to be perceived as feminine... as I thought femininity=being a bx#@h. I wanted to be like my dad who was always laid back. So, it was a fear of being perceived in that shrewish, mean girl light. And I came to identify with being laid back so much that I genuinely believed that I didn't get angry and that I was above it. I remember even thinking that, if someone came to beat me up, that I was so "enlightened" that I would just let them and shrug it off. And I got a charge out of being the "bigger person". So, it's taken me a long time to unlearn this identification which runs really deep.
Thank you for this talk. I really need it. I was raised by emotion repressing parents. We were very sheltered and I never new where I stood with anyone. To this very day mom uses threats to try and control me.
I relate to this so much! Very well said. After repressing anger most of my life and then later learning to express it through martial arts and heavy metal I now realize I have returned to repressing it again and it's become a hidden shadow that's negatively impacting all of my relationships and my ability to move forward in my life. Just today it's dawned on me how much I have repressed it and this video came at the perfect time. Remembering that anger is a valid and important emotion is an insight I will need to keep reminding myself. Time to take back control and not let this ruin my life. Thank you for posting :)
Thank you. From an Englishman being engulfed in anger. This is exactly what I've been doing since I was young. I'm now 30 and I have a lot of built up anger. I had admittedly started to come to this conclusion by myself but you've stitched all the facts together in a clear and intelligent way, thank you. And well done.
Thank you for the most down-to-earth, real talk about anger. I appreciate you sharing your story too. I can definitely relate to the part about kids treating you differently and picking on you for being different and having different kinds of responses (and being sweet).
It’s really not about how many videos you do. I’ve come back to this video and it’s been so enlightening almost like you’re exactly talking about me, like it was meant for me. You are the most helpful person. Thank you!
Its took what i think was a nervous breakdown earlier this year for me to think about what I’m struggling with and i only now think i am suppressing so much anger and resentment from the past and recent life events. I think my next step is to seek help as its effecting my life so much.
Hello, thanks for the video, I have had chronic low back and buttock pain for over 30 years and I'm being told now that a lot of it is repressed anger fear or sadness grief
i am angry about the 11 people who...disliked this video,n thought i shouldnt supress that!!! even though its illogical that im angry,since...u know...the video isnt mine😅🙈 great content by the way,really helpful stuff
i keep imagining myself in a situation where others are trying to hurt me and i defend/roast them back. i would picture myself as cool and others are mean. I think it's because of repressed anger. Is it?
Definitely. Though it sounds like you're making a creative outlet for it. Maybe try writing those fantasies down. It sounds like they could be interesting stories, and also, one day, you'll likely find yourself coming back at an abuser with a snappy comeback. You'll go: "where tf did THAT come from!?" It'll be because of all your virtual practice in your imagination. You're kind of preparing yourself for to just go for it. I can tell you from experience that it'll feel good to get back at a bully, but that high won't last very long. It won't get rid of the pain, and just like most drugs, you might get tricked into thinking that it will make you happy overall. What you're doing is not wrong. It's actually very good. I'm just trying to provide some wisdom on _possible_ destinations it might lead you. Mmy main sughestion is to keep it as a creative outlet, and once you've developed the: "witty expertise", go ahead and roast a bully; feel good about it. Let it go later, as it's just a shallow high that will fade. The greatest high you can experience is loving yourself, and feeling grateful to be you. That'll take time and work to achieve. You'll get there! I'm sorry to rant at you for so long. These are just things I wish I heard from someone in the past, because they would've save Mme a lot of: time, money, and energy!
No, you really rock Emerald!. Thankyou for your invaluable information around spiritualism. I love that you impart your formidable knowledge base, and share your journey with us. Would you call yourself a humanist? I think yes. I know that you have experienced ego death, in that flattery isn't taken in a lower conciousness way. Humans like you are special, and one of your best videos.
Thank you! :) I'm not sure if I would call myself a Humanist as I only have a vague idea of what the implications of that would be. But I am very interested in human welfare and I attempt to alleviate human suffering through sharing my experiences and insights. Thank you again! It's very encouraging to me.
Thank you Emerald! job done, through your really informative videos, You've been very helpful to me personally. You deserve encouragement at the very least. Much love, I look forward in anticipation to your future videos, thank you.
I empathize with a lot of what you said about growing up and being bullied, yes a guy with similarities ha ha ha . As a teen I was very sensitive and great to get a rise out of. But, as a teen, i had to stand up, or lay down and die. Hormones going nuts and crazy and a very dysfunctional family. I was a bit eccentric which didn't help my image. Sorry, I know this is long, I am 65 and most of my life, I've emoted that passive aggressive behavior. Do you think that repressed anger would be part of that??? THANKS MUCHLY for your thoughts. I am a fan of Jung and the humanistic approach and you should be commended for your work here. 🙏🏻😌😊✔
Thank you! :) Certainly, passive aggressive behavior is a really common response to repressed anger. So, instead of being able to confront someone about something, one might make an off-hand remark or sleight or backhanded compliment. Things changed for me as a teen too... but not by standing up. It was through complete non-resistance that I moved past bullying. Punching a tissue isn't anywhere near as satisfying as punching a pillow, as a pillow has some amount of resistance to it... and pillows are easy to punch. But if you punch a tissue, it doesn't even feel like anything. So, they just mostly lost interest.
Excellent presentation regarding the repression of anger also excellent work presenting the forms to take this emotion to the conscious level of mind, Namaste 🙏
It's actually amazing that being a very sensitive person you actually happened to develop this chill personal identity.... cause it's kinda the opposite of being sensitive ...so that's mind blowing for me ....I'm a sensitive person too and I'm struggling to control my anger and responding to ridicules and just friendly teasings so ...
I think I found that the easiest thing to was to do a mixture of imploding and tuning out from the implosion through dissociation. Anger consistently led to worse and less empowering outcomes because everyone could always out-do me in terms of aggression, certainty of themselves, and assertiveness. And panic just led to worse panic. Emotions always made things worse back then. And it would being called a little sissy girl or (later) a b**** and this reputation concern was always a shame-based deterrent to emotional expression. So I noticed that it was more adaptive for me to tamp down on everything. I was oriented to with a lot more respect too. And once I got to age 12 or so, I disowned my more feminine sensitive qualities that made me the butt of every joke and on the receiving end of a lot of disrespect…. and I instead developed a pacifistic masculine identity, modeled after my father and my pop cultural impressions of figures like Buddha, Ghandi, Jesus, and others embodying that archetype. And it helped me cope a lot. And I became more respected for it. I was the chill girl who “wasn’t like the other girls.” But it came with a price of disowning my anger and disgust responses. I declawed myself. And so dissociation from my body, my environment, and most facets of my personality became the only way to deal with social environments where I was blind to my boundaries and genuinely unable to notice when I was unconscious or when boundaries had been crossed. So it’s been a difficult process of re-owning my feelings and other facets of my feminine side and re-sensitizing myself to my emotions and feeling more safe in doing so.
I find this very therapeutic. I’m glad there are channels like this on you tube . My anger was pretty bad growing up because of events I was going through and still do feel very angry almost out of the blue over things that happened along time ago to, is this repressed anger? I find yoga helps me a lot and approaching the situation with an open mindset and acknowledge it happened hopefully for a reason and hopefully learn something out of it . Thanks for your videos.
Great stuff. This made me realize that since anger is generally thought to be related to root chakra area, and I've noticed that suppression and emotions like arrogance are related to head area or third eye, our anger reactions for different situations technically have less or more suppression in them. So if someone has anger or force that itself won't always for example make the other person stop, so we repress the anger making it meaner and more scary, as it is a more ignorant form of anger. So then we can see how we can build ourselves so that we need to hurt people less and be more constructive instead by allowing our anger to be and find a more balanced approach then. Because allowing our anger shows that we have more power and potential in our lives than we thought, it will take some processing and contemplating because of the new unrefined system and the potential can feel scary
Bless you, Emerald, I always chuckle when you talk about how you were as a child because I was much the same - highly-strung, hyper-sensitive, easy to get a rise out of. I think what really needs to be borne in mind about anger and all other forms of what I would call negativity - resentment, bitterness, victimhood, etc. - is that they're secondary or 'cover' emotions, and that there's much more going on underneath the surface-level negativity, but unfortunately humans have a habit of getting caught in those surface emotions, just because we've been conditioned from a young age to repress our hurt feelings.. So I think as much as anything there needs to be a willingness to go deeper, and to feel the underlying hurt - which can be far easier said than done, obviously, but that's what's required if we're truly to move beyond the angry feelings, I think.
I am envious of you ... as a child I was always angry and I am still struggling to this day :( .. I think I got that habit from my parents ... they expressed their anger in hideous and traumatizing ways ....
I am lucky that I don't suppress my anger. Maybe only until being 15 years old because I had to. But after that time not ever. But anger can also come from life frustration, unfulfilled dreams, not meeting the demands of our egos, and so on. Anger can also come because we don't trust the higher process (is there any?) and we want to have control over everything in our life. People who trust the higher power are relaxed because they may feel that everything is happening in the right time, for a right reason and they just receiving without feeling offended. And if it is good then they show gratitude. They don't have a feeling of missing out.
Great video I'm doing alot of personal work and have lots of repressed anger that I need to work on I like your comment that awareness is different to expression Thank you
Just located your channel a few days ago and have watched several of your videos. I'm 65 yrs old, grew up with alcoholic adoptive parents, was taken away for child abuse when I was 9 yrs old and lived in foster homes until I quit high school when I was in 11th grade and left Social Services. I didn't want anything to do with my feelings of anger when they arose because adult anger had caused me so much pain as a child. So when I felt angry, as is natural, I would push it down, down, down. I ate it and swallowed it. I really, really wanted to be a good person. I didn't want to be like my Mother. When I did feel or act angry, I was immediately judgemental about it and felt very guilty. In my mind, it was never OK for "me" to "be" angry. Anyway, my son died 11 years ago in Afghanistan. I did my best to do all the things your supposed to do after his death. Memorial Service, funeral etc. I went to grief counseling for a year. While watching your videos I remembered how grief would seem to rise up and stick in my throat when I was with the Grief Counselor. Like a bone I could not, or didn't know how to dislodge. My son died on May 3rd and almost every year at this time I start getting "cranky". Life just pisses me off and I want it to stop. I want to "stop" "die" when the feelings get so intense. You have helped me see just how much denial I have been in. Thank you for that ~ Shadow work is my next step.
Thank you for sharing. One thing that might be helpful to know (which you might know already) is that grief has 5 stages, and one of the stages is anger. So, feeling your anger completely is very important and essential to processing grief. Otherwise the process can get stuck.
@@TheDiamondNet Not laughing..but kinda. I thought I had gone though all the stages of grief. Several times..Pretty sure I did not delve into the anger portion very far..because I'd turn off such an unpleasant emotion ASAP. I will turn and face it now. Thank you for making a difference in how I see this !
When practicing meditation in a silent sitting, anger does come up. Anger feels like a submission hold on the body. In the past people have got under my skin, so what is a guy to do? You can be nice to people, show them you care, and be polite. What happens when you don't acknowledge the anger and develop skills around emotional difficulties?
I was out with some people, and one of them made some jokes about some of my body parts. I also realize they are not perfect and I am in a way trying to fix them. To full honesty, I did feel offended and angry at that moment (not extremely), but then I decided to let it go and I joked about them as well (being self sarcastic?)... this I did for 2-3 reasons I think: 1) to be cool and not appear as an easily offended person in the group. 2) People tease each other for fun, so I didn't think confrontation was appropriate. 3) I realized it was in the context of making fun, with no ill intent from the other side. However, I wonder now whether that is still anger repression I did there and how it could internally affect me... :/
Yes, totally anger repression. Did you honestly feel like joking about it the very first moment you understood what he said? No. But you forced yourself to do so, after repressing your anger. I know the price you would pay for allowing yourself for anger (reacting honestly to your feelings) in such a situation is the possibly of committing a social faux pas, but in te long run I believe it's better for you. U will learn socially accepted ways of manifesting your anger in time, so don't worry about it. But first you need to stop repressing it. Cheers!
I grew up in a household where we were taught to neither be seen or heard. If we expressed anger we would get knocked into next week. When I was young I dated a big, tall Italian who occasionally had no problem expressing anger. I had a friend who trance channels the archangels. I asked him why was I so afraid for my partner to express his anger. The angels replied that it was not his anger that I feared but my own. He was just holding up a mirror for me concerning the issue of being afraid to express my own anger
I have always had issues with feeling, validating, and expressing my anger. And a pattern of mine has been to be attracted to partners who are very angry all the time. It’s true how we seek relationship to disowned parts of ourselves in relationships
Its the results of things not changing after getting mad, aka staying the same from those who are mean in the first place! Negative stuff can be when we're laughing, ie being tickled by someone stronger than another.
Being an infj (my childhood story)= relatively good at school and sports, also tendency to stand up for others but not for myself equals primary target for bullying
Really well explained. The anecdotes really help. The grocery store example reminded me of traffic. Any thoughts on why people get so angry when driving? It seems almost universal, as in almost everyone becomes aggressive or angry while driving and as soon as they step out of their car they revert to themselves - whether it be a generally angry person or calm individual. Is it the anxiety of rushing that triggers the anger response? Personally I've found a way to rid myself of this completely and haven't been angry once in the car in the last 8 months. I've honked my horn twice for safety where I used to honk daily because of my in-car angry traffic response. But I still don't understand why I would respond with anger in the car or others do. Thanks! Your videos are great!
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I was bullied online too much harshly. And now with a family issue and I was repressing anger and I blow up and now I started being mean to my family by insulting them which I never did before.
You realy Rock ! I 'll have to replay this vídeo again later on ! Although it is short ir contains a lot of information besides the fact that i am hearing it In the midle of the nighty after awaking of a dream which Í were on the top of a kind of pawl of a heavy truck used to plain the ground , In this case a ground with heavy mood ! Thanks !
Damn this matched me to a T, even to the age of 16 part cause i’m about to turn 16 and i want to feel anger but didn’t think i could. It’s just been messing with me a bit and i don’t ever want to talk about it or show it. Only thing different on this video other than my life was I wasn’t really bullied in school because i never really went to school, i’ve just done online home school for years.
Really great video! I used to get really confused when it came to diiferientiating bewtween expressing emotion vs awareness of emotion, do you think focusing on patterns of behavior is a good strategy?
Hi Diamond, love the channel. Is the advice the same if it isn't anger, but something more? What if it's rage? Or apoplectic fury? There are people on this earth that I think fundamentally shouldn't exist? What about that?
I never repressed anger to the point that I have a rep of being a warrior or champion. That was something that served me in my youth but now I question how that served me or those around me. I am quick to take up a cause, but I am incapable of vulnerability, so there is an opposite problem .
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The idea that i should be 'beyond anger' was an ego trick that imprisoned me for years. Thank you for pointing this out. It was not until i understood that there are no wrong emotions and gave up trying to 'be a better person' that i found freedom.
You're welcome! :) It's a huge trap. I was in it for a long time. I still have the residual effects.
Larry Carpenter
I am myself have never repressed anger much. I pretty much did the opposite... I let it out like a roaring lion, and it got me jail sentences and all kinds of grief. However, I can understand why people do it. I think society for the most part associate anger with loss of control, immaturity, and someone who’s impulsive and out of control. Things that are not necessarily good attributes, so I see why people would be prone to disasociating themselves from the notion of feeling any anger.
@@bklynboyeny Its particularly prevalent in British society. 'Stiff upper lip'. I'm only just realising not expressing my anger/hurt is disrespecting myself
Clare Dodd
I have a belief today that as long as you express your anger in a way that is “healthy” ei; perhaps letting the other party know how you feel, and that you do not appreciate it, can be beneficial. Rather than the classic speak, hear, and see no evil road that only leads to coming unhinged at some point an committing murder. Lol.
So helpful to me as always
I identify so much with your story about bullying and anger repression. My mom was also one of the reasons why I always tried so hard to not expressing anger, bc she always had a very impulsive and explosive personality, and she always have used that against me when I don't behave like she wants me to. So I frequently associate my expression of anger like one thing that will only triggers pain and punishment for me or someone else, but the more I repressed that, the more I feel that: I punish myself, feel pain and frustate myself. Now I'm really focusing in healing this wound, thank you for this video, it was very helpful for me.
I can definitely relate to this!
I think it is also important for people to be aware of negative thought patterns and self-generated anger. 15 years ago, I listened to a lot of "angry" rock music that appealed to feelings of being misunderstood, invalidated, and unappreciated (under-valued). I thought this was releasing some of my angry emotions, but as the music and lyrics kept repeating those feelings of anger, and your mind keeps imagining scenarios that provoke an anger response, I found that I was angry all the time, and I had no idea why. It's like the expression "angry at the world". When I started having panic attacks, I learned that the brain doesn't discern the difference between a real threat and an imagined one. I had to realize that I wasn't releasing angry emotions, but actually feeding them and dwelling in them. It seems cliche to say rock music can have a negative effect on young people's psyche and emotional well-being, but in my case, it was absolutely true. Thank you for your videos. They've been very helpful.
Scott Ó hÓgáin
You’re are spot on bro. I still listen to Rage against the machine and Other bands that validate my feelings of contempt for the world. And although I know this feeds my anger I can’t seem to let it go. I find myself listening to that kind of music even when I’m not angry. Lol 😂
Angry Chair - Alice In Chains
Great song
bklynboyeny - I think this was one reason I liked Type O Negative. It was awesome music that validated "negative" thoughts and emotions, but injected it with a bit of quirky humor. Long live Lord Petrus. RIP.💚
I Don't Wanna Be Me Anymore... 😂😂😂😂😎🤘
th-cam.com/video/LXIWRan3XGY/w-d-xo.html
Scott Ó hÓgáin
Yo bro that insane. I’ve heard of that band vaguely many many years ago, and never got a chance to listen to them. Dig that link you sent me I Love the humor in it. They are also from my hometown... just look at my username. 😝
Your a genuinely nice person, and true anger can help you sometimes, for example in survival situations if someone is attacking you or insulting you, you can utilize that anger to protect yourself and others sometimes
I like it when you include personal stories. 😎
Thank you! :)
Yes! It makes the subject more relatable instead of just information. I've learned that telling someone how to fix their issues isn't near as effective as telling them how you fixed your own lol.
Thank you! I know that I learn best form example. So, I try to add in personal anecdotes when I can.
I find it very hard to absorb what you say. Not because you speak too fast but it just sounds like you’re not stop talking. It makes me feel exhausted. If it’s possible I’d love if you could just not go so very fast.
Thank you .
Rta
InvertedSeal 3:38
Great videos Emerald.. I like your work very much. You give very clear and simple explanations of what a person needs to know to understand and start their healing journey.
Thanks for all the efforts and knowledge sharing and sharing your own life experiences which is helping and will continue to help so many people who need to hear all this...
I was repressing anger grief and lots more ... Through my journey of learning to be a Yoga therapist 😊 I found me and have learned to really be aware of myself and to not repress my emotions.
Our body lets us know when we don't do justice to ourselves and that is what happened to me... I was severely stressed and anxious due to various challenges in life...
Until I was very sick I did not learn that health issues and life issues were happening mostly because I was not supportive of my feelings. Never learnt that as a child... I didn't know how to say no...
Now after a lot of repeated lessons from life, I have learnt to empower myself and am now much better off emotionally and physically....
I learnt a lot about myself from channels like yours... Thanks to the Multiverse and all of the helping hands and hearts.
I've heard repressed anger and emotional pain can manifest itself in physiological symptoms such as back pain,stomach problems etc. What's your opinion on this? Do you have any videos on the subject.
slarty bartfast56 Nicole Sachs TH-cam channel. I healed from back and wrist pain from watching her videos and videos like these about shadow work and doing the journaling.
You can also check out Dr. Gabor Mate on When the body says no. He tells so many moving stories about the relation between repressing emotions and severe illness later in life.
Bioenergetics. Get a rolling pin and run it over every muscle in your body you're able. It will immediately highlight your trigger points. Massaging these is as good as a trip to a chiropractor imo.
That's true
I can relate with a lot of your personal experiences with school and later life I’ve struggled to appear always calm and never angry.
What I’ve found at work is a lot of people try to get me worked up for fun and I’ve hard to repress anger again and again they tell me bad things they have seen on the news that make me mad and watch my responses.
I’ve only recently looked repressed anger and was shocked that so much of how I feel corresponded with it. Thank you for helping me understand there’s ways to deal with anger without bottling it up.
When I learned not to repress my anger so much, it really helped to create situations for myself where it can be transmuted into conscious action (like you recommended), where something can be done about a situation. For example, there are many injustices going on in the world, but if we take closer to inspection, there are actually many happening close to home that we can do something about. For some, once they discover these injustices, they respond outwardly with obvious anger and outrage. And it's completely understandable. But we must try to move past that. If someone feels confident that they can actually consciously impact the situation (or at least try and that they'll learn in the process), then discovering these injustices simply lights a fire underneath that person and the anger is transmuted into an almost infinite supply of energy. An energy that many people would be envious of. An energy that's ready to bring awareness to people, influence people, and change hearts and minds.
Excellent video again Emerald! Keep slaying it :)
This video helped me alot. I'm 28 and just now realizing how much repressed anger has impacted my life. I just never dealt with it and instead drowned in alcohol. I've been doing some soul searching and trying to find why I'm so angry all the time. It finally feels like I'm on the right path in addressing my issues.
So well explained. I suffer the most terrible verbal abuse, shaming, belittling behaviour from my wife and I would just take and take it. I didn’t realise I was repressing my anger and even in therapy I was justifying all the abuse my wife threw at me.
A couple of months into therapy my therapist said what would you like to say to your wife what’s screaming inside you. I let go of my anger in the session for the first time and as I was defending myself and attacking her I felt a tear in my eye, a tear of joy!
I haven’t felt joy in a long time and since that session earlier in the week I have felt more joy in a week than the last few years. It’s like not experiencing anger makes you not experience joy.
I realise that anger is really just saying my boundaries have been overstepped and I need to act.
Next time she acts like that and I can feel my anger bullying rather than suppressing it I will use it positively. “I don’t like the way you are speaking to me, please stop, if you don’t I will leave the room until you can stop calling me names and have a civil discussion”
Great video, you deserve more subscribers. Thanks for helping.
Hey Emerald!!! Good video!!! Much respect for being candid about your childhood. Takes A lot of humility to even discuss traumatic events like that. Glad to see you handled it, and took it in stride.
Omg i had such a similar experiences and you have explained it all so well. I was bullied because my parents told me to ignore it and forbid me to fight.
All it would take to punch the wrongdoer in the stomach and bullying would stop in my case. I'd love to get my hands on those people now.
I wish I'd found your channel 5 years ago...however I probably found you just at the right time. Thank you for your work. Your experiences sound so familiar. You shine a light on everything I've been seeking and talk about it in a way that makes it easy to hear and receive...Thanks again.
Just discovered your channel the other day. It's helped me out quite a lot, and I also went through this phase in my middle school years. I repressed a lot of anger and got teased almost daily. My anger eventually burst and I got into fights at school and I didn't really have an outlet for it.
One thing that always triggers anger in me is when my girlfriend gets upset or hurt. Like, she twists her ankle, and my response is anger. I started to recognize that it is because I take on responsibility for her well being and I feel like any time she experiences negativity it's because I am failing at my duty as her protector. Through councelling I learned what "covert incest" is and how my relationship with my mother shaped all those to come. The beautiful part is, I have been able to talk to her about it and heal from a lot of that trauma. I still have to stop and take a breath to not get mad at myself for my gf being sad...😐
That's great that you've realized that and are working through it. My husband's mom, by no fault of her own, had a lot of issues that she was dealing with when my husband was a kid. And his dad wasn't really around that much. So, people (neighbors, family members, and acquaintances of the family) would tell him when he was 5 or 6, "You take care of your mother." So, he came to think of himself as the glue keeping things together. So, his response at present, to me getting hurt or being even the slightest bit dis-satisfied (and not necessarily with him) immediately makes him furious. He gets angry at me. But he really feels angry at himself for a perceived failure but it's easier to project that anger outward. Then he gets angry at himself for being angry, and it's just a Devil's Circle at that point. He's getting better with it though over the past few years as he starts to realize the things from his childhood that he thought he'd completely resolved but hadn't dealt with everything.
Exactly. Covert incest is basically where my mother unknowingly used me as an emotional "partner". My father wasn't allowed to be around because of his drug problem and my mother made sure I knew that part. It caused me to resent him for hurting her and for how poor we were. I was to make it all better though once I became a doctor and scared all the mice away because she hated them lol. It's hard to be the man of the house when you are 5 years old and have never known a male role model. It's also hard to recognize how damaging it all was because it was all in the name of love and it was obvious that she did everything she could and sacrificed her own comfort and needs for my sister and I. I'm so glad her and I have been able to talk about it.
Interesting stuff. I get angry at myself also for feeling certain emotions. Very difficult to become accepting of myself
Your speaking and presentation skills are on point. Top content. It can only flourish from here Miss :)
Thank you! I definitely hope that my channel will continue to grow! :)
I told my older brother stay away . . .I'm angry . . . He didn't listen . . . Now I'm the oldest...
Cringe
Cringe 2
Is it bad that I laughed at that lol
Hold up-
😂😂😂
The first 5 minutes or so of your video was so what I needed. It was as though I had been given permission to be angry. I do respond rather than react, but my ego was telling me to do neither and I was stuck. I found the courage this afternoon... down to you. Thank you 💜 🙏
Just wanted to say you are a beautiful young lady with a wonderful, personality, thank you for sharing and reaching out to help the world we love in. May peace and joy be your daily reality💫
This is such a helpful video! I have felt that years of repressed anger has finally caught up with me. I’ve noticed that in most recent times, I get triggered by the SMALLEST things: such as someone referring to another person as fat, someone chuckling at me for making a small mistake, etc etc. And then I tend to obsess about those little comments for weeks on end. It always feels maddening because the offenses are just so small, it comes down to a matter of me not being able to let go of anger and wanting my voice to be heard somehow. Not sure exactly what to do about this.
Yes! I've had major anxiety/depression after 2 bereavements.(my father and my mother who I hardly knew) and a break up that happened all at once...a heavy mix of unresolved abandonment issues and repressed anger. I'm finally recognising I am unable to express anger for fear of not being liked and so being abandoned. A therapist pointed out that it was the child who was abandoned being triggered by quite ordinary events. Just recognising this has helped but the recognition that the repressed anger doesn't go anywhere and sits in my body stopping me sleeping has been a major realisation. Hearing your analysis has confirmed this. The lack of sleep causes the anger to become anxiety and then becomes a vicious circle . I ended up in hospital as a result at one point.
I too have had non dual experiences from meditation, blissful awareness of the immortal nature of being, yet this shadow has pulled me into suicidal ideation in the past.
Hopefully I am beginning to understand the unconscious thanks to Jung and your videos and I am learning to balance myself
Thank you for your great videos and insights.
If you have a book id buy it but i couldn't see one...
I think as women we also have the additional whammy put on us to never feel or express anger, or we'll be perceived to be unattractive shrews by men. I grew up in a family where anger was not allowed on my fathers' side.
My mother would encourage me to get mad when appropriate but if I did because of something she did that wasn't allowed, and if I let my temper get the better of me I was shut down by my father and told to keep it to myself so there were mixed messages.
I realised that smoking cigarettes was my way to suppress anger after thinking the same way as you for years and identifying as 'the one who never gets angry and is always chill". That all blew up in my face when I finally realised that deep down I was really angry. :D
I'm really enjoying all your videos so far. You have a really vast understanding of many things and speak them astutely.
Thank you! It was a big fear of mine when I was 12 to be perceived as feminine... as I thought femininity=being a bx#@h. I wanted to be like my dad who was always laid back. So, it was a fear of being perceived in that shrewish, mean girl light. And I came to identify with being laid back so much that I genuinely believed that I didn't get angry and that I was above it. I remember even thinking that, if someone came to beat me up, that I was so "enlightened" that I would just let them and shrug it off. And I got a charge out of being the "bigger person". So, it's taken me a long time to unlearn this identification which runs really deep.
Thank you for this talk. I really need it. I was raised by emotion repressing parents. We were very sheltered and I never new where I stood with anyone. To this very day mom uses threats to try and control me.
I relate to this so much! Very well said. After repressing anger most of my life and then later learning to express it through martial arts and heavy metal I now realize I have returned to repressing it again and it's become a hidden shadow that's negatively impacting all of my relationships and my ability to move forward in my life. Just today it's dawned on me how much I have repressed it and this video came at the perfect time. Remembering that anger is a valid and important emotion is an insight I will need to keep reminding myself. Time to take back control and not let this ruin my life. Thank you for posting :)
Just wanted to say I find a sense of peace watching your videos. Thank you.
Thank you. From an Englishman being engulfed in anger. This is exactly what I've been doing since I was young. I'm now 30 and I have a lot of built up anger. I had admittedly started to come to this conclusion by myself but you've stitched all the facts together in a clear and intelligent way, thank you. And well done.
Thank you for the most down-to-earth, real talk about anger. I appreciate you sharing your story too. I can definitely relate to the part about kids treating you differently and picking on you for being different and having different kinds of responses (and being sweet).
I'm getting a lot of depth and understanding from your videos. thank you
It’s really not about how many videos you do. I’ve come back to this video and it’s been so enlightening almost like you’re exactly talking about me, like it was meant for me. You are the most helpful person. Thank you!
The way you’re able to investigate your inner self and explain it is remarkable! I recently start following you and I’m impressed. Keep going!
Its took what i think was a nervous breakdown earlier this year for me to think about what I’m struggling with and i only now think i am suppressing so much anger and resentment from the past and recent life events.
I think my next step is to seek help as its effecting my life so much.
Hello, thanks for the video, I have had chronic low back and buttock pain for over 30 years and I'm being told now that a lot of it is repressed anger fear or sadness grief
The perception and insight on this channel is of such clarity, sensitivity and really resonates. Thank you.
I love you, thank you for such wisdown and light.
You're welcome! Much love back at you! :)
i am angry about the 11 people who...disliked this video,n thought i shouldnt supress that!!! even though its illogical that im angry,since...u know...the video isnt mine😅🙈
great content by the way,really helpful stuff
Thank you Emerald. You've really nailed it for me 😘✌
You're welcome! I'm glad to hear it! :)
Beautiful that you understand Jung!
i keep imagining myself in a situation where others are trying to hurt me and i defend/roast them back. i would picture myself as cool and others are mean.
I think it's because of repressed anger. Is it?
Definitely. Though it sounds like you're making a creative outlet for it. Maybe try writing those fantasies down. It sounds like they could be interesting stories, and also, one day, you'll likely find yourself coming back at an abuser with a snappy comeback. You'll go: "where tf did THAT come from!?"
It'll be because of all your virtual practice in your imagination. You're kind of preparing yourself for to just go for it. I can tell you from experience that it'll feel good to get back at a bully, but that high won't last very long. It won't get rid of the pain, and just like most drugs, you might get tricked into thinking that it will make you happy overall.
What you're doing is not wrong. It's actually very good. I'm just trying to provide some wisdom on _possible_ destinations it might lead you. Mmy main sughestion is to keep it as a creative outlet, and once you've developed the: "witty expertise", go ahead and roast a bully; feel good about it. Let it go later, as it's just a shallow high that will fade.
The greatest high you can experience is loving yourself, and feeling grateful to be you. That'll take time and work to achieve. You'll get there!
I'm sorry to rant at you for so long. These are just things I wish I heard from someone in the past, because they would've save Mme a lot of: time, money, and energy!
Just the video I needed. Thank you so
Much. Been bullied for 7 years and have a history of being abused by a tyrannical father
Honestly man i feel you 100% I never learned how to stop repressing my anger
No, you really rock Emerald!. Thankyou for your invaluable information around spiritualism. I love that you impart your formidable knowledge base, and share your journey with us. Would you call yourself a humanist? I think yes. I know that you have experienced ego death, in that flattery isn't taken in a lower conciousness way. Humans like you are special, and one of your best videos.
Thank you! :) I'm not sure if I would call myself a Humanist as I only have a vague idea of what the implications of that would be. But I am very interested in human welfare and I attempt to alleviate human suffering through sharing my experiences and insights. Thank you again! It's very encouraging to me.
Thank you Emerald! job done, through your really informative videos, You've been very helpful to me personally. You deserve encouragement at the very least. Much love, I look forward in anticipation to your future videos, thank you.
I feel you, this is literally my life story. Thank you for sharing.
I empathize with a lot of what you said about growing up and being bullied, yes a guy with similarities ha ha ha . As a teen I was very sensitive and great to get a rise out of. But, as a teen, i had to stand up, or lay down and die. Hormones going nuts and crazy and a very dysfunctional family. I was a bit eccentric which didn't help my image. Sorry, I know this is long, I am 65 and most of my life, I've emoted that passive aggressive behavior. Do you think that repressed anger would be part of that??? THANKS MUCHLY for your thoughts. I am a fan of Jung and the humanistic approach and you should be commended for your work here. 🙏🏻😌😊✔
Thank you! :) Certainly, passive aggressive behavior is a really common response to repressed anger. So, instead of being able to confront someone about something, one might make an off-hand remark or sleight or backhanded compliment. Things changed for me as a teen too... but not by standing up. It was through complete non-resistance that I moved past bullying. Punching a tissue isn't anywhere near as satisfying as punching a pillow, as a pillow has some amount of resistance to it... and pillows are easy to punch. But if you punch a tissue, it doesn't even feel like anything. So, they just mostly lost interest.
This video helped me greatly. Thank you ma’am.
Good job for owning your stuff. This is helpful to me. I can identify with your story.
Excellent presentation regarding the repression of anger also excellent work presenting the forms to take this emotion to the conscious level of mind, Namaste 🙏
You are so honest with yourself it’s so refreshing to listen to you!
It's actually amazing that being a very sensitive person you actually happened to develop this chill personal identity.... cause it's kinda the opposite of being sensitive ...so that's mind blowing for me ....I'm a sensitive person too and I'm struggling to control my anger and responding to ridicules and just friendly teasings so ...
I think I found that the easiest thing to was to do a mixture of imploding and tuning out from the implosion through dissociation.
Anger consistently led to worse and less empowering outcomes because everyone could always out-do me in terms of aggression, certainty of themselves, and assertiveness. And panic just led to worse panic. Emotions always made things worse back then. And it would being called a little sissy girl or (later) a b**** and this reputation concern was always a shame-based deterrent to emotional expression.
So I noticed that it was more adaptive for me to tamp down on everything. I was oriented to with a lot more respect too.
And once I got to age 12 or so, I disowned my more feminine sensitive qualities that made me the butt of every joke and on the receiving end of a lot of disrespect…. and I instead developed a pacifistic masculine identity, modeled after my father and my pop cultural impressions of figures like Buddha, Ghandi, Jesus, and others embodying that archetype.
And it helped me cope a lot. And I became more respected for it. I was the chill girl who “wasn’t like the other girls.”
But it came with a price of disowning my anger and disgust responses. I declawed myself. And so dissociation from my body, my environment, and most facets of my personality became the only way to deal with social environments where I was blind to my boundaries and genuinely unable to notice when I was unconscious or when boundaries had been crossed.
So it’s been a difficult process of re-owning my feelings and other facets of my feminine side and re-sensitizing myself to my emotions and feeling more safe in doing so.
I find this very therapeutic. I’m glad there are channels like this on you tube . My anger was pretty bad growing up because of events I was going through and still do feel very angry almost out of the blue over things that happened along time ago to, is this repressed anger? I find yoga helps me a lot and approaching the situation with an open mindset and acknowledge it happened hopefully for a reason and hopefully learn something out of it . Thanks for your videos.
Great stuff. This made me realize that since anger is generally thought to be related to root chakra area, and I've noticed that suppression and emotions like arrogance are related to head area or third eye, our anger reactions for different situations technically have less or more suppression in them. So if someone has anger or force that itself won't always for example make the other person stop, so we repress the anger making it meaner and more scary, as it is a more ignorant form of anger.
So then we can see how we can build ourselves so that we need to hurt people less and be more constructive instead by allowing our anger to be and find a more balanced approach then. Because allowing our anger shows that we have more power and potential in our lives than we thought, it will take some processing and contemplating because of the new unrefined system and the potential can feel scary
Bless you, Emerald, I always chuckle when you talk about how you were as a child because I was much the same - highly-strung, hyper-sensitive, easy to get a rise out of. I think what really needs to be borne in mind about anger and all other forms of what I would call negativity - resentment, bitterness, victimhood, etc. - is that they're secondary or 'cover' emotions, and that there's much more going on underneath the surface-level negativity, but unfortunately humans have a habit of getting caught in those surface emotions, just because we've been conditioned from a young age to repress our hurt feelings.. So I think as much as anything there needs to be a willingness to go deeper, and to feel the underlying hurt - which can be far easier said than done, obviously, but that's what's required if we're truly to move beyond the angry feelings, I think.
thank you very much, I really appreciate your wisdom and life-body experience-based knowledge, so easy to listen!
I am envious of you ... as a child I was always angry and I am still struggling to this day :( .. I think I got that habit from my parents ... they expressed their anger in hideous and traumatizing ways ....
Thank you for this video sooo many good points in it , best is if you have an anger and don't do any thing about it will go away is not a great way
Y’all are getting me through some hard times.
that was a genius explanation, thank you for presenting this!
I am lucky that I don't suppress my anger. Maybe only until being 15 years old because I had to. But after that time not ever. But anger can also come from life frustration, unfulfilled dreams, not meeting the demands of our egos, and so on. Anger can also come because we don't trust the higher process (is there any?) and we want to have control over everything in our life. People who trust the higher power are relaxed because they may feel that everything is happening in the right time, for a right reason and they just receiving without feeling offended. And if it is good then they show gratitude. They don't have a feeling of missing out.
Thanks Emerald I ways enjoying your videos⚘
Great video
I'm doing alot of personal work and have lots of repressed anger that I need to work on
I like your comment that awareness is different to expression
Thank you
Just located your channel a few days ago and have watched several of your videos. I'm 65 yrs old, grew up with alcoholic adoptive parents, was taken away for child abuse when I was 9 yrs old and lived in foster homes until I quit high school when I was in 11th grade and left Social Services. I didn't want anything to do with my feelings of anger when they arose because adult anger had caused me so much pain as a child. So when I felt angry, as is natural, I would push it down, down, down. I ate it and swallowed it. I really, really wanted to be a good person. I didn't want to be like my Mother. When I did feel or act angry, I was immediately judgemental about it and felt very guilty. In my mind, it was never OK for "me" to "be" angry. Anyway, my son died 11 years ago in Afghanistan. I did my best to do all the things your supposed to do after his death. Memorial Service, funeral etc. I went to grief counseling for a year. While watching your videos I remembered how grief would seem to rise up and stick in my throat when I was with the Grief Counselor. Like a bone I could not, or didn't know how to dislodge. My son died on May 3rd and almost every year at this time I start getting "cranky". Life just pisses me off and I want it to stop. I want to "stop" "die" when the feelings get so intense. You have helped me see just how much denial I have been in. Thank you for that ~ Shadow work is my next step.
Thank you for sharing. One thing that might be helpful to know (which you might know already) is that grief has 5 stages, and one of the stages is anger. So, feeling your anger completely is very important and essential to processing grief. Otherwise the process can get stuck.
@@TheDiamondNet Not laughing..but kinda. I thought I had gone though all the stages of grief. Several times..Pretty sure I did not delve into the anger portion very far..because I'd turn off such an unpleasant emotion ASAP. I will turn and face it now. Thank you for making a difference in how I see this !
Wow, thank you. Great video, looking forward to seeing your other videos.
Your videos are so insightful. They help me to better understand myself and become a better person. Thank you so much.
Very helpful, love your examples and delivery!
What you are explaining i have experienced before. So thank you for putting this into words.
i can relate so much to your story thank you!!!!
I Can relate so much with your stories.. Thanks for the video, it helps me a lot...
Thanks always Emerald⚘
You're welcome! :)
When practicing meditation in a silent sitting, anger does come up. Anger feels like a submission hold on the body. In the past people have got under my skin, so what is a guy to do? You can be nice to people, show them you care, and be polite. What happens when you don't acknowledge the anger and develop skills around emotional difficulties?
Maik, yes take care of your emotions. It's a practice.
Thank you so much, Emerald! 🌸🕊️💖✨
You're welcome! I'm glad you liked it! :)
I love your videos! They are so eye-opening and warm my heart.
You have been a great help in my journey. Thank you ♥️
I was out with some people, and one of them made some jokes about some of my body parts. I also realize they are not perfect and I am in a way trying to fix them. To full honesty, I did feel offended and angry at that moment (not extremely), but then I decided to let it go and I joked about them as well (being self sarcastic?)... this I did for 2-3 reasons I think:
1) to be cool and not appear as an easily offended person in the group.
2) People tease each other for fun, so I didn't think confrontation was appropriate.
3) I realized it was in the context of making fun, with no ill intent from the other side.
However, I wonder now whether that is still anger repression I did there and how it could internally affect me... :/
Yes, totally anger repression. Did you honestly feel like joking about it the very first moment you understood what he said? No. But you forced yourself to do so, after repressing your anger. I know the price you would pay for allowing yourself for anger (reacting honestly to your feelings) in such a situation is the possibly of committing a social faux pas, but in te long run I believe it's better for you. U will learn socially accepted ways of manifesting your anger in time, so don't worry about it. But first you need to stop repressing it. Cheers!
_When you avoid conflict with other people to make peace; you start a war within._
@@gillymac9363 I don’t know if you came up with this or not but I don’t care because that’s a damn good saying 👌🏻
I can so relate to this...
you touched my heart, thank you for sharing this❤🙏
I grew up in a household where we were taught to neither be seen or heard. If we expressed anger we would get knocked into next week. When I was young I dated a big, tall Italian who occasionally had no problem expressing anger. I had a friend who trance channels the archangels. I asked him why was I so afraid for my partner to express his anger. The angels replied that it was not his anger that I feared but my own. He was just holding up a mirror for me concerning the issue of being afraid to express my own anger
I have always had issues with feeling, validating, and expressing my anger. And a pattern of mine has been to be attracted to partners who are very angry all the time. It’s true how we seek relationship to disowned parts of ourselves in relationships
Its the results of things not changing after getting mad, aka staying the same from those who are mean in the first place! Negative stuff can be when we're laughing, ie being tickled by someone stronger than another.
What a brave video. Well done and thanks
Being an infj (my childhood story)= relatively good at school and sports, also tendency to stand up for others but not for myself equals primary target for bullying
love your videos finally videos to relate too
Thank you! :)
Thank you for you and your videos 😊❤️
Rock music helps a lot I listen to the songs that are full of anger and I dance as hard as I can...this is my way to express it👍🏻✨
This helped me a lot. Thank you.
Really well explained. The anecdotes really help. The grocery store example reminded me of traffic. Any thoughts on why people get so angry when driving? It seems almost universal, as in almost everyone becomes aggressive or angry while driving and as soon as they step out of their car they revert to themselves - whether it be a generally angry person or calm individual. Is it the anxiety of rushing that triggers the anger response? Personally I've found a way to rid myself of this completely and haven't been angry once in the car in the last 8 months. I've honked my horn twice for safety where I used to honk daily because of my in-car angry traffic response. But I still don't understand why I would respond with anger in the car or others do. Thanks! Your videos are great!
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I love your videos!
Thank you! :)
I was bullied online too much harshly. And now with a family issue and I was repressing anger and I blow up and now I started being mean to my family by insulting them which I never did before.
God I scarily related to this Very well articulated !!! Thanks a Million for this 🙏🥰😊
You realy Rock ! I 'll have to replay this vídeo again later on ! Although it is short ir contains a lot of information besides the fact that i am hearing it In the midle of the nighty after awaking of a dream which Í were on the top of a kind of pawl of a heavy truck used to plain the ground , In this case a ground with heavy mood ! Thanks !
i really enjoy your videos!
Thank you! :)
Damn this matched me to a T, even to the age of 16 part cause i’m about to turn 16 and i want to feel anger but didn’t think i could. It’s just been messing with me a bit and i don’t ever want to talk about it or show it. Only thing different on this video other than my life was I wasn’t really bullied in school because i never really went to school, i’ve just done online home school for years.
This was very helpful.
Really great video! I used to get really confused when it came to diiferientiating bewtween expressing emotion vs awareness of emotion, do you think focusing on patterns of behavior is a good strategy?
Very helpful, God bless you.
Hi Diamond, love the channel. Is the advice the same if it isn't anger, but something more? What if it's rage? Or apoplectic fury? There are people on this earth that I think fundamentally shouldn't exist? What about that?
Thanks for the work
I love your spirit 🙏🏻❤️
I'm going to stick love in your hair. You're the best Emerald. Thank you!
I never repressed anger to the point that I have a rep of being a warrior or champion. That was something that served me in my youth but now I question how that served me or those around me. I am quick to take up a cause, but I am incapable of vulnerability, so there is an opposite problem .
You cured your own early onset NPD it sounds like. I wish I had this knowledge so long ago. Do you have a Patreon page?
Thank you for this