ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 ธ.ค. 2024
- 10 August 2024 Saturday.
He’s not the one holding me back. IM holding myself back because I dont have anyone to do the stuff i wanna do with!
Been spending the whole day with my boyfriend and at the evening we went for a walk downtown where they had a festival. Lots of thoughts have been emerging recently.
These are just THOUGHTS. Its one of my rules of journaling/documenting, to voice out all of the thoughts I’ve been having in my head for the day. Sometimes they are just thoughts. Its my way of processing and analyzing things!
I know i talk alot about me and my boyfriends differences when it comes to the future. The winning part of me is to just let things go where they needs to go. I will see this through. But i need to analyse my thoughts in order to let things pass. Its interesting to see how this will develop.
Its a huge step that he finally went to the gym with me! Its something he’s been wanting to do for several months, but hasnt dared to. Im proud of him!
So beautiful
D’aaaw!! Thank you so much! :D
T or no T, do what makes you happy and don't conform for other people's happiness. If he's the one don't force him into situations but he should gradually want to put himself in them as he embraces coming out.
Amen to that! And yes ofc, I dont wanna force him to do anything. Its more of a thought wondering if we’re compatable when he’s not interested in doing a bunch of things that im yearning for - only because it doesnt catch his interest. That and on top of him just never wanting to meet my friends or my family, or really anything that has to do with other people.
I love him for who he is and he is allowed to feel that way. I have told him that its ok if he doesnt wanna come out. Its his life after all and i really have no business in pushing that on. I just dont know if its a right fit for me. Im battling my thoughts a little bit because im not sure if i can live a discreet life. Feels isolating. But! Who knows, maybe things take a turn and maybe he decides to open up some day. Only time will tell :) i think i have to stop thinking so much and just let things fall where they may.
Might also be an issue with my looks. Still thinking that he will dump me if i get a little too beefy or manly, as that is not his preferance. So many thoughts spinning in my head lol when will i rest