Helicopter Parents vs. Free Range Kids: Q&A with "America's Worst Mom" Lenore Skenazy
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ก.ย. 2024
- "If you google 'America's worst mom,' I'm there for 68...pages," says Lenore Skenazy, proprietor of the controversial parenting site Free-Range Kids, a book of the same title, and a syndicated columnist for Creators.
Since 2009, Skenazy has been waging a non-stop battle against helicopter parents, nanny-state nuisances, and a media consumed by scare stories about everything from child abduction to food additives to sports injuries. The result is what Skenazy calls "'worst-first thinking,' which is coming up with the worst thing that could possibly happen and then proceeding as if it's likely to happen."
Such a mind-set culminates in over-protective parents and a society that insulates children that has turned childhood from a time of fun and exploration into a version of 24-hour lockdown. "You have to admit that there's a little bit of risk in everything and that there's never been a safer time to be a child on this planet," says Skenazy.
Reason TV correspondent Kennedy sat down with Skenazy to discuss why "you don't have to worry to be a good parent."
About 4.30 minutes.
Produced by Joshua Swain. Camera by Jim Epstein and Anthony Fisher.
Scroll below for downloadable versions and subscribe to Reason TV's TH-cam channel to receive automatic notification when new material goes live.
Back in the 80's I was what you would call a free range kid,we were allowed to play deep in the backwoods as long we came back before it got dark and those are my fondest childhood memories.
SgtPiggie Parents Today
crypter27 same but not in the 80s. 10s
I am too I’m 14 and the girl next door is quite cute
...someone should tell helicopter parents that no one wants to steal their crappy kids...
lol.
+Jessica Alcorn That's just it. Some people do...................
true.
Ahaha! Too good. Parents are nuts these days...
I'm far from a helicopter parent, but there are crazy ppl out there who want to hurt little kids. It's a scary world. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Jessica Alcorn true
So-called "free range" parents are the ones raising their kids normally. What is happening with parenting these days is symptomatic of paranoid psychosis..
Bob Aldo THANK YOU!
This is basically how kids were raised before in the us and how kids are raised almost everywhere
Why not? Paranoid psychosis with respect to a VERY wide range of issues seems to be the norm in today's Western society. But not in the rest of the world.
Nothing more natural than natural selection.
Overprotecrive parents should be in the top 10 of the worst parents you can have. It's like you are treating your kid like a parttime prisoner and he chances are high that they will fail in almost everything.
Emma Frost THANK YOU! I thought I was the only one who thought this
It's had lasting effects on me over a decade later. Helicopter parenting is narcissistic abuse, full stop.
I remember parents criticizing my single mom for letting my sister and I walk to school at the ages of 9 and 7. To be clear, the school was literally a 5 minute walk from my house in a neighborhood where hundreds of kids were walking to the same school. One parent also didn't let my sister and I cross the street until she had walked to the middle of the crosswalk to let cars know that kids were crossing. Not sure why she did this because it was a four way intersection with a stop sign and my sister and I had already looked both ways. Some parents are way too paranoid these days.
So making sure a child is safely crossing the street alive is an insult?
Why did you listen to the parent just tel them to fuck off and then proceed with walking
I live in Russia and my Red Heeler (dog breed) follows her to School and then sprints back home to get breakfast as a treat 😅
I let my Girls be very free, but it never hurts to send a smart protective dog too!
@@alexanderaIeV It's unneccessary and can feel demeaning to a child. Where I'm from, NO ONE would do this because parents here understand that letting a kid walk to school alone is a lesson in independance. Kids here take the bus and train by themselves every single day. It doesn't just give them self confidence and independance, it also makes it more likely for them to know what to do and how to cross the street if they happen to get seperated from their mom.
my walk was 45 minutes in middle school and 1h in high school. Parents of today would freak out about that.
Crazy as it sounds, my parents droped my friend and I (12 and 11 years old) at a meadow in the Sierra's for a week (on our own). We hiked, fished and camped... And those were the best summers.
That actually sounds really fun. I would love that.
BeautyByBeth Now kids aren't to walk a mile home from the park...
awesome. when i was that age i wasn't even allowed to walk 2 house up my street to the shop WITH a friend without my mum coming with us
Wow!
When was this? The 1950s?
She's 100% right though! We live in a culture where the media rules our thoughts, hence always thinking in the worst case scenario!
Wow. My Brother and I grew up as a so called Free Range Kids! Man did we have fun!!!!
Something the free range parents tend not to mention, is that a lot of these abductions happen because the child was not equipped. Smart a sugar scenarios are sooooo rare. Most kidnappings happen when kids, say, accept a ride home, or don't know what to do in a situation when something isn't right. When I was a kid, we were told not to accept rides, who to call if something goes wrong. I have, in fact, been confronted by adults, maybe their intentions weren't so great, but I was equipped.
she seems really smart and i agree with her... why is she a bad mom? that's a horrible label.
+TheBookWorm1718 Get on your local sex offender registry.......................... you will be horrified to see what is living around you and your children.
Never been a helicopter parent in my life and I feel sorry for those kids who have those parents.
I guess I'd be a free range kid then. I still don't see how this is an issue, decades of children were raised like this, and those are the now grown adults that aren't asking mom and dad for help all the time. These are the people that are fiercely independent, where as the generations that are being raised by helicopter parents are the ones that can't handle adult life without going to mommy and Daddy for help.
Decades of children? What the fuck are you talking about? How many children a year are raised like this, and since when? You're a fucking child, you don't know any better. You're making the arbitrary generalized opinionated statement, supported by nothing. You're pulling ideas out of your ass. You're going to tell ME, that the children who are inclined to follow their own wishes as they please, know how to function as adults? Horseshit. Look at yourself, your name is "MsRandomBubble", what are you, twelve? Fucking ten? Go fill out a tax form you freak. Do you know what a free range kid is, or is this the only video you watched on the issue?
MsRandomBubble
There is a line to be drawn, between kids who are independent and kids who don't understand how to operate in society.
In fact, I'd say 'free-range' kids have that in common with sheltered kids- they weren't given the necessary tools to thrive in the modern-day world.
While one has no confidence, the other has no knowledge. Allowing your kids to try things in their own is fine, but not giving them a framework within which to behave (and within which the rest of society operates) is arguably worse than being overprotective.
It's easier to build your confidence than to learn 20 years of life skills for the first time.
Ladies and gentlemen: a living, breathing Dunning-Kruger Effect.
@@new_filler and your making a generalized statement about me due to my comment triggering you in someway. I'm 32 years old sweetheart, I've filled many Tax forms in my life. I should ask you, are you a helicopter parent? Is that why you are so triggered and angry by my comment?. I find the fact you felt the need to insult me and resort to cussing at me hilarious. It's a TH-cam comment section dude, no need to pop a blood vessel, it's not that deep. If you want to have a discussion about this, that's fine. But be aware if you continue down the road of insults and cussing, I will just continue to laugh at your behavior, because it shows me exactly who you are.
@@LancesArmorStriking unlike dude above you whose whole argument is insults, I can actually understand where you are coming from. My comment was simply me stating out of the two options given in this video, I would have to say my upbringing was more free range, as were many generations before me. Had there been a 3rd option, something between the two, I would of chosen that one. I was given rules and guidelines, and I was disciplined if I didn't follow them, but I was also allowed to be left on my own to play and didn't have my parents hovering over me. I didn't have my entire day scheduled to the second. I could make my own decisions. Children who grow up with helicopter parents have no clue what they are supposed supposed be doing since they had everything planned for them their entire childhood. When left on their own when they become adults, they get anxiety over making decisions because their parents always made their decisions for them.
America: Where letting your kid walk around the neighborhood by herself is considered child abuse but whipping your kid with a belt isn't
IKR.
I can't imagine why I'm turned off to having kids of my own these days.
I'm supposed to grow up & turn into a paranoid parent myself?
Good Grief😱.
Exactly!!!
@@rhiannonthrasher7747 If kids aren't allowed to leave the nest for a time while young, it'll be a field day to do so when adulthood comes around, & then what😱?
@ Bingo!I never really thought about that or even noticed that before!Great observation!Great way of putting it!Nail on tha fuckin head!!
Everybody thinks whipping you kid with a belt is child abuse. Have you been to America?
I agree with her 100% I've found that children with these types of parents are far more successful in life. I'm a mother now and when I apply this to my child he has so much confidence until my family steps in. I wish my mother would just let me go!
I never understand the parents who let there kids wear nothing but won't let them walk across the street by them self
My family always gives me shit because I'm free range. I look at their kids and all they do all day is watch TV and play games on their iPads. They are between the ages of 10 and 5. They don't know how to ride bikes, roller skate or swim. and I'm the bad parent. also they are all over weight.
I've got very bad anxiety because my grandmother,who raised me along with my mom, and was very overprotective of me when I was a kid. Her worse fears for me were abduction ( something about people from foreign countries would kidnap blond haired little girls for prostitution), getting sick ( I wasn't allowed around other kids if they had even a little sniffle, and I wasn't allowed out in hot weather as she feared that I could die of heat stroke as her mother did-despite the fact that her mother had died of complications of scarlet fever brought on by heat stroke ), and a pre 9/11 fear of terrorists ( she wouldn't allow me to play kick the can as she feared a terrorist might put a bomb in a can that might blow up).
Since she died almost two years ago, I'm having a lot of anxiety even in my 30's, as I'm fearing the same things she did. Luckily I don't have any children as I fear I would stunt their ability to flourish in society due to unfounded fears.
She is one of my heros. I love her.
Funny how often it's the sanest person in the room who everyone calls crazy.
Keep up the good work Lenore.
@ Lord Hawkeye. Exactly!
my friend got mad at me because I told her,your children has no freedom,she goes to school games with them,the skating rink on Friday nights, trick or treating at Halloween,goes through their school back packs calls them through out the day packs their lunches,their in the 4th and 6th grade, parents need to teach independence,im so glad my parents taught my how to stand on my two feet at an early age!
robert is a moron
Rodney Walker yeah but they sure didn’t teach you how to use proper grammar
Parents these days all go trick or treating with their kids. It's weird
@@ggeminem9399 you aren't even using it so your point
@@Dablooner wdym? i am genuinely curious although my comment from before was just unnecessary lol
My ex-wife didn't back off our boys as they got older, and she degenerated as a person. So I kicked her out to make her get a useful education and a job and stop hovering around our boys. It worked well for the two youngest, but the oldest has no self esteem and is very arrogant and unhappy with three degrees. Two out of three is OK.
Overprotective parents ruin their kids
I'm all for kids going to the park/playing outside on their own, walking to school or to their bus stop but the subway?! I won't even take the subway. She has a point though. I have friends with 15 and 13 year olds who are scared to just drop them off at the movies with their friends and pick them up after. Now that is just stifling them. This boy is one year from being able to drive!!
When the "normal" people of the world including children do not ride the subway, it makes the subway less safe. I lived in Japan, kids taking the subways and trains by themselves was an absolute non-event there, very common. But I understand your feeling as the mass transit in the States varies pretty massively from place to place.
The main reason I wouldn't allow public transit is that my kid could end up somewhere completely different, far from home simply by getting in the wrong bus or forgetting to get off at the right time. It's not the same as letting them walk on down to the park, using the same route you walked with them every day for years. A kid can only walk so far before realizing it's the wrong route. And very few people take public transportation in Georgia anyway which I guess in NY that isn't the case. Now the school bus, I'd be happy for my kids to walk to the bus stop and back alone, providing that the sun is up when it's time to go.
i live in georgia and the public transportation is absolute trash. while i hate helicopter parenting, if you live in atlanta you definitely dont want your kids riding MARTA alone
Yep, I live in Atlanta myself. No way are my kids taking public transportation here. They can play in the backyard without being watched like a hawk, but *I* don't trust and feel safe on the public transportation so like hell am I putting a 10 year old on it. I grew up before helicopter parenting became the norm, and I and the other kids didn't go on public transport. We roamed the neighborhood, the park and each others backyards. It was great, and it was good enough.
Yeah, helicopter parents are the fucking worst. Mine were selectively so though. Like my older sister could do whatever the fuck she wanted go out whenever she wanted come home whenever she wanted blah blah blah. But me? I wasn't even allowed to have friends. Like literally. I could talk to people at school and at the youth group I was forced to go to despite being an atheist, but I was never allowed to see them outside of school/ youth group until I was seventeen. And at that time I was only allowed to see them at the bowling ally IF they were religitards. I also wasn't allowed to date till I was 17, and when I was, what that meant was that I could watch a movie with someone or be at the mall with someone IF my mother and my sister were also there watching us like fucking predators. Computer? Cell phone? Nope. I was only allowed to use the computer for homework and I had to get it done in an hour. Even if I had a 15 page midterm to write. Worst yet the only time I was allowed to go outside was to walk the dog or take out the trash and I had to stay right outside the house to do so. Wasn't allowed to walk off the premises of the yard, and wasn't allowed to walk outside for a fucking second if it wasn't to take out trash/walk the dog. And this bullshit style of "parenting" even went into fucking me up severely with food to the point where I got diagnosed with a severe eating disorder when I was in third fucking grade because my parents has this shitty shame way of treating me with food, where if I ever got hungry I first had to ask if I was allowed to eat and then if they said yes I has to give an example of what I wanted to eat. I they said no I was allowed to come up with one more hypothetical food and if they didn't like that one then I was told I had wasted my chance and that I needed to go back to my room and when they were ready to feed me something they'd let me know. Got to the point of being so embarrassed and ashamed and scared when I got hungry that I would either go without and would wind up only being fed maybe once a day, OR I'd steal food and make myself throw it up so that no one would know I took it, cuz I figure if I didn't gain weight they wouldn't know I had eaten something when I wasn't allowed to. Thanks to that crazy ass motherfucking bullshit I wound up with agoraphobia and a complete lack of proper socialization skills. Currently work from home and probably always will purely because of this psycho drama that refuses to get out of my head and keep me from being paranoid that somehow I'm gonna get in trouble still if I set foot outside even for just long enough to check the weather or get the mail. Helicopter parents are the fucking WORST. That psycho shit made me try to kill myself just to get a chance to breathe. Wish they'd all just die.
My theory is give kids the technology tools to protect themselves and then let them be kids
ESponge2000 You deserve a medal for that.
ESponge2000 technology is not a babysitter!
I read an article about teaching your kids stranger danger. I remember when i was 12 i was walking to a friend's house and a car pulled over asking me if i wanted a ride. I politely declined. If you teach your kids the right way, you should let them have free range. My parents gave us our freedom but they taught us to stay away from strangers. Some parents have their kids tested to see if they will leave with a stranger.
If you live in a place that actually is dangerous, then I would not let my kids roam too freely. A matter of making choices based on reality instead of the world as told by the media.
It's interesting just how much this varies throughout Ａmerica. I always had a ton of kids on my apartment lawn when I lived in a lower income area (still a very nice area, regret moving tbh), I could turn my daughter out and let her play with them for a few hours. But I've moved into a more suburban area and we have a nice park but... seeing kids in the park is not a daily occurrence. It is the middle of summer (and it gets extremely hot here)so I'm crossing my fingers that more kids will turn out when the temperatures go down but my point is, even within a city the parenting style can change drastically based on the area/income/racial and ethnic makeup. It really is the white middle-class suburban/urban types who are doing the worst although other types of parents definitely micromanage in other ways.
I live in Switzerland and here it is like that: You don't eat in the school lunch, so you are going home. The most parents are working. Then there are three options: 1. You eat by a friend, where the mom is at home 2. Your grandparents are at home and cook or 3. The 7 year old kid (that's when we start with school) is cooking by himself.
In my childhood it was like this: Until I was 10 my grandmom cooked something or I eated by a neighbor and sometimes I eated the rest from yesterday. And when I was 10, I cooked by myself. And I had the key for the house. We call such kids: Schlüsselkinder (Keykids) XD And after eating you are going to school again. Usually you have 1.5 hours time to go home, eat something and go to school again. And it's working :) If you are 11 you have to go by bicycle to school, because the school isn't the village and you have to drive to the next village. And with 16 you usually work 3-4 x a week and 1-2 days school :)
thanks to todays justice system we have more criminals and sex offenders on our streets and I also blame today's media for putting fear into the general public
I'm not a parent, so I don't know what it's like, but I do think there's a middle ground here. This to what was discussed between 3:41 and 3:57. Common sense caution without Big Brother and bubble wrap. Another thing: I have met a some registered sex offenders in my lifetime, and they all KNEW their victims. NONE of them went to a park or a playground just to grab a kid to rape. Studies show that's just NOT the m/o of today's child predators. They are scared TO DEATH of getting caught. They do NOT want to draw any attention to themselves, especially in broad daylight. They know children make noise and scream like banshees at the sight of a threat. Furthermore, they know what typically happens to child predators in prison. So go ahead and let your kids play in the park unsupervised. They are safer than you think, especially when they have plenty of other kids with them.
Just the other day, I was talking about how I feel bad for my relatives who can't play outside, and how there was a creek nearby where I used to roam around by myself when I was 8-9 years old. The response I got was "But that was a different TIME, though...." My response was, well, violent crime and kidnappings are down. She looked at me like I had three heads.
I know a family whose house is full of cameras and listening devices and their kids have GPS trackers in their coat pockets when out and about despite the fact they are NEVER unsupervised and ALWAYS in the company of trustworthy adults. What a stifling childhood and what unhealthy parental attitude!
Free range is not necessarily a bad thing, but in New York? In the suburbs or the country I more or less agree, but not in a huge city.
Times are different now. You cannot leave your kids to wander....................I had a neighbor whose child was dragged into a car. She has never been found. Where was mom? Down in the basement sorting out boxes.....................no where to even be able to look out of a window to check on the girl. BTW My kids do NOT live with me, are productive adults; and very well adjusted despite my "helicopter" parenting style. I call it being responsible for the well being of your children.
I agree, people trust and their kids get kidnapped, murdered and raped.
No, but they can actively cut that very real risk way down by making sure that they are not wandering/walking/riding bikes or playing alone or out of the supervision of an adult until a reasonable age.
It is common sense. Very young children as well as teens when riding bikes or walking, whatever they may be doing, either need a buddy system or a responsible adult around.
If a parent wants to put their kids at risk by employing cavalier supervision methods that is their right I guess. I never did and I am glad I did not.
I think I just explained how I felt on that issue.
I agree with this. I'm a pre teen and I am aloud to ride my bike to CVS (stores). I have a free range mom and she trusts me. If her child knew the neighborhood and was very familiar of where he was going then I think it's perfectly okay. Obviously, he knew where he was going. My mom is actually internet friends with this mom. My mom is also getting me a bracelet that says "No, I'm not lost I'm free range. :)
My parents kind of let me be a free range child they would let me ride my bike 2 miles away and I was never snatched so parents now are just wussies
Ok well the world is different
you should see it at my job, I work in retail and the majority of people dropping off resume's are people who look 30 or 40, we have had a few people apply at that age before but these ones were helicopter parents dropping off a resume for their kid. One mother asked if my manager had a look at their own child's resume when I saw my manager (the women left) I told her about the lady and she said 'why couldn't the kid do it himself? he's the one applying
This woman has a lot of common sense when it comes to parenting. She's one of America's best parents IMHO. Most parents back in the day used to do this all the time without such backlash from paranoid helicopter parents.
More power to the free-range kid movement!
More power to the retarded children of the world who won't obtain jobs movement
As a pro-gun person i sure hope all these helicopter parents are pro gun. See, if your kid is on the lawn and you are watching him/her, and i want to snatch that kid, what exactly are you going to do by watching me? Do you come rushing to their help? Blam blam, your dead. But the cops will come! Maybe.. Or maybe they are busy at some other place, and there are not that many cops around anyway, so the response time might be 45 minutes or a lot more.
Considering all the traffic deaths, if you are so worried, you need a 8 point racing harness and a neckguard everytime you drive. You should turn off your phone when you drive. If you are really tired, you should not drive. Considering the massive amount of injuries and deaths in car accidents, a parent worried about their kids getting snatched, need to be worried about car accidents like 900% more.
I never get that point either. Parents think that just by the power of watching them it’ll prevent catastrophe. Or they have to be driving them. Anyone can get into an accident. Then watching won’t stop them from getting hit by a car or falling at the playground. But they fear the least likely and most irrational thing most. Your kid isn’t going to get snatched. They’re more likely to have an accident in the house.
I think the mother with 13 kids chained up is a better qualifier for America's worst Mom. I think it depends on the child and how good your stranger danger talk is.
TWO AWESOME WOMEN!
I believe it is up to the parents themselves to decide, after all there are real threats out there (such as being hit by cars ect) however the question should come down to how much you trust your child with handling such threats.
I hate to tell you this but we are all physically weak. Everyone can easily die. Strength is only a critical trait in human vs human / human vs animal confrontations both of which are statistically improbable.
Viewing such parents as outrageous, is to me detestable.
#2
How did I disrespect you? my explicit was at your statement, not at you directly; there is a difference. If you feel offended by me attacking your statement I apologize, however I urge you not to create such a correlation.
Secondly, from a logistic standpoint any negative correlations you may have towards any individual/group is completely irrelevant to a conversation as long as their judgement is based on facts & sound reasoning. Unfortunately some people fall victim to the halo effect.
Helicopter parenting is about NOT micro-managing kids playtime. Obesity is about making bad food available to them. Video games is about keeping them distracted indoors. This lady is trying to convey the message of trust, which is how I was raised. I'm not fat and I don't play video games; one example of her method.
Yeah I hate it when people say with the times we live in how can you let your kid go outside? Times have always been bad. There will always be perverts. This is how my mom raised me I Could leave the house all day if I wanted to as long as I was back before the sun went down. I had so much fun and I learned a lot I probably wouldn't have if my mom was watching over my shoulder.
I grew up in a 3rd world country and these parents will be laughed at for teaching the kids to trust their environment. Kids who lived in war torn countries are not thought independence but survival meaning Street Smarts.
No wonder all these 20 somethings are so unfriendly. I'm in my 30's and even saying, "what's up?" to one of these young adults you get the stink eye....I'd expect that from a teenager but a 20 yr old? Pffft!
I just moved to Switzerland. All kids are free range kids here...
All the kids who have a “Karen” mom will be living living with their mom at 40 if they don’t grow up.
lol my kids were alllllllll over the place, with in reason, they had to stay on our two streets with in yelling distance. LOL should have seen the halo's at the park when my son was climbing on top of the toys and just being a boy.
Isn't it funny how all of these helicopter parents seemingly have no problem with the US dropping bombs on other peoples kids?
They should be a happy medium between free-range and helicopter parenting.
Do you refuse to go outside because you might get sick, do you spend all your time outside worrying about dying from bee stings? Do you refuse to cross streets for fear of getting hit by cars.
There is nothing wrong with precautions however they have to be relative to the risk. In this case the risk for strangers is almost non-existent.
It is also important to note that nothing is absolutely safe, hell on average 2-3 people die to vending machines every year.
I am currently a sort of free range I can Ride my dirt bike into the backwoods of some neighborhoods and it’s not that they don’t care it’s that they know that I’m not gonna be dependent on them so I thank that for them i can also go to school events I can hangout with my friends For a while and I think that has really helped me grow!
Forty former members of the KGB disliked this video :)
I would never turn to a complete stranger and ask her or him to watch my child. Do you realize it takes ONE time ONE bad choice and your child could be dead , gone , lost. Ridiculous!!!!
You’re the problem she’s talking about. She explains in another video why there’s a 0.0000000000001% chance of that happening.
That mustache
PENDALA DAUGHTREY Other than that, she's very pretty
what about Patsy Ramsey she was suspected of murdering or being involved with her daughter's murder
the majority of the cases of violence against kids have someone related to them as not only the suspect, but as the criminal
This mother is absolutely brilliant I am so tired of seeing parents carrying their kids around in the stroller when they're six or having them walk around when they're four with a freaking pacifier in their mouth. This type of parenting is the exact reason why you can't let your kids go out by themselves anymore because this generation of parents has cuddled their kids to the point where they can function without mommy and daddy holding their hands. When I was a kid we were towards stranger danger don't talk to anybody that you don't know know where your house is butyl walk to and from your house by yourself but they don't teach their kids that anymore they can't even go outside anymore. We took some all instances that while horrible were very rare and we now use them as an excuse to Baby our kids to the point of which they can't function and it's sad because they're when they hit the real world they won't be able to handle it
her tv show had a woman giving food on a 10 y.o kid's mouth
another that a mom only allowed him to skate on grass.
needless to say, both are outrageoussly ridiculous
I really want to watch it, but I'm not from the US and I just can't find the episodes.
Similar thing for me. I got my first bike at 7 years old. It offered a world of freedom & fun. I'm 46 years old today and ride my bike even more. I ride to mom's for dinner, meetings at church, girlfriends house, Friday or Saturday night parties, backyard BBQs, you name it.
Kids today know only of a world of parents thinking their primary role is that of chauffeur.
U r not a bad mom the world is just nuts
kids together can be better
live in the country and homeschool that is the Last Hope for our children
She is 100% right.
The degree of paranoia in our society today is bringing kids up to be extremely dependent and sheltered. Do you want to know how I probably have matured the most? By doing things without my parents. I'm 17, and I leave the *state* on a regular basis (~60 miles by train) with zero adult supervision (I've been doing it for a year and a half now). Clearly, I didn't get mugged/abducted/murdered, but it helped teach me independence- something that you really should learn sooner or later...
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Goddamn CPS, goddamn "parents" who hurl judgement at others
for having different viewpoints than they.
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Go back to Free Range Parents//Free Range Kids///Say NO on New Age Helicoptor Parents///New Age is Bull Crap////
Let me tell you my own story. I grew up with really lax parents but friends with really strict parents. I'm half-Asian (white dad Asian mom), and Asian parents are notorious for being helicopter parents. Honestly, I feel like my parents letting me breathe without hovering over my shoulder, tracking all my assignments on Infinite Campus, and making sure they were done, was way better than my friend's parents who would be really strict. It let me grow as a person. Sure there were a few times when I procrastinated, stayed up till 4 AM doing homework, and got bad grades, but in the end, it didn't really matter. We all graduated, we all got good jobs, it's not like they're making boatloads of cash or are more successful. In fact, I'd say that these kids struggled when they first left their parents' houses because they were so used to being led around like sheep. I felt like I had a much happier childhood than the kids whose parents would only let them play for 15 minutes, whose parents would have a strict schedule, etc.
this really is 1) a good parent and 2) a very smart person.
Wow! I love common sense.
I support the free range kids movement. I favor medical care though. Kids are safer with strangers than you might think, 20 times less risk from a stranger.
The stats at freerangekids www.freerangekids.com/crime-statistics/ show that
Number of children age 2 - 14 killed in car accidents, as passengers: 1300
Number of children killed each year by their family members and acquaintances: About 1000
Number of children abducted in “stereotypical kidnappings” (kidnapped by a stranger for ransom or for sexual purposes and/or transported away) in 1999, the most recent year for which we have statistics: 115.
Number of children killed by their abductor: About 50.
Murders of children by abductors constitute less than one half of 1% of all murders in America.
there needs to be a middle area -yes kids need freedom, but they need rules to.. its possible to go overboard with any parenting technique. my kids play outside without me if they are 8 or older. No I wont let a stranger watch my kids. kids should only talk to strangers if there is a parent with them. I'm a little bit helicopter & free range parent I dont do either fully- its all about balance
Yup. The "it takes a village to raise a child" metaphor has been taken literally by today's society. No such thing as privacy anymore thanks to the Internet and social media. Everyone thinks they reserve the right to know everything about any and everyone which is just pathetic. People live their lives vicariously though others and are so insecure and fearful.
of them. Of course i know about heuristics and the norms of the media to exaggerate the incidents to make them more eye-catching, and of course it's perfectly sane to trust your completely rational stats, but still letting out your kids, who are obviously physically weak and thus prone to an uncountable number of threats from the outside, should be an outrageous thing by the standards of most parents.
well at least i'm not the one who disparaged some others' opinion wholesale as BULLSHIT without even thinking about the rationale behind.
Attitudes aside, i must reiterate that i do not support either heli parents or free range styles, which, you must agree, that they are two extreme ends of a spectrum of parenting methods. What i emphasize is that parents have the inherent responsibility to look after their kids, and if they don't, someone might, however slim is that possibility, "take care
Oh we're talking about chance now right?
It is always said that the chance of having a plane accident is much lower than that of land public transport. Does it mean that we don't need to take any safety precautions when boarding a plane?
Likewise, does the "1 in 1.5million" chnace mean that you child is ABSOLUTELY SAFE from any kinds of "strangers' threat"?
ALL i'm saying is that parents should take care of their children, which is their inherent responsibility.
The gull of these people to leave their kids and expect society to watch over them. Please we areThe gull of these people to leave their kids and expect society to watch over them. We are no longer in Mayberry, the world is different. People who believes in this free range kids are parents from idyllic towns, white bread America. Never did these parents grew up in a tough and dangerous environment.
I agree on the fact that our society has been progressing and much safer than it was a hundred years before, but that doesn't justify the notion that it is safe enough to put your little child in the hands of a complete stranger. I would say that is just an irresponsible behavior for the sake of individual convenience at the expense of their own child, a notion unacceptable to me if I'll ever become a parent.
1-Scary people that harm children are, 9 times out of ten, their own family.
2-Teaching kids "stranger danger" causes them to have crippling phobias as adults.
3-If the person who watches your kid for a split second in the grocery store turns out to be a "scary person," chances are the check-out clerk/other people in line/etc. will notice and speak up. What do you think the odds are that every single person in the store is "scary?" How do you leave the house?
Its not a ignorance is bliss attitude its preparing children to make their own mistakes and actually learn valuable life lessons from those mistakes. Kids today aren't even allowed to make mistakes thats why they live with mommy until they are 40. As adults most of us are pretty good judges of character and know who they can trust in a grocery line, but what if we never acquired that skill? What if the first time our children actually step out into the real world its too late?
I was totally a free range kid. My mom worked & after school, I'd come home, saddle up the horse & head off into the mountains or play out in the woods by the spring or the pond. In the summer when she was working, we'd climb on our bike and ride to my best friend's house (which was about 10 miles away, country living:) ) & spend the entire day biking around, playing in the woods, going to Deep Lake without adult supervision, etc. No bears or cougars ate us, no one drowned or went missing, etc.
I so love this woman. Never heard of her before today. I don't have children yet but I often look at how overprotected and smothered today's kids are by their parents. I would hate to grow up in today's world. Glad my parents were WWII generation. I got to have a childhood free from excessive involvement of my mom & dad.
I like the term Free Range Children. I'd use that to describe my fun childhood.
And the last 3 with over a 50% increase in time severed is CA, WV and ND, which are Blue, swing and Red. The strangest thing I saw from the map was, while ND increased the time served by 51% SN decreased there time severed by 27%, and I think of those two states and so homogeneous on politics. Note, these where not absolute values, but increases in the past ~20 years, so a state could have started harsh and then was unchanged and still be long then a state that was lean but got harsher.
Have you never met a mom from the religious right, who is over protective? Is this not the group that are homophobic and are in favor of the most extreme sentencing? The Pew looked at increasing "Time Served", which included a state to state brake down and it was interesting that there was not more of a tread that followed in red or blue states. The biggest increases was in FL, then VA and NC, which are all swing states, then is OK, GA and AR which are red and MI which is blue. Count
I dont disagree with your reply but the original statement is suspect. there are far more crazy people in this world. Does that factor into a childs safety? yes. but i also agree with the philosophy that the more you treat someone like a child or a criminal the more they will act like it. So part of this social trend has to do with the self-fulfilling prophecy that is distributed by the media and the nanny state.
not really, the thing about the media is that it saturates people's lives. for example, if 10 crimes happen and 1 gets publicised, compared to 5 crimes happening and 5 being publicised, people will think the place with 5 reported is scarier, when in reality the one with 1 reported is more dangerous.
It's all about perception, which is why it's best to look at the actual numbers and understand them before making a plan of action.
While Growing up my "mom" told me that everyone was out to kill and rape me and that I shouldn't make friends or trust anyone. Sensationalized abduction stories were played on a loop; she made me watch them more than saturday morning cartoons. When I protested, she reminded me of Susan Smith and how I could have been born to a psychopath. I was and still am friendless. Now I realize that the most dangerous person I have ever encountered in my life is my own mother.
I would say this was common since and logic. People who want over protective laws will act over protectively. This is way the idea of "free range kids" resonates with libertarians. But there is no lack of protectively conservative and liberals who want over protective laws. And while I looks, I can't find any studies that I can have free access to, that shows any correlation between political affiliations and over protective parenting.
One truth is that the world trajectory is always for better and the constant incorrect assumption is that it always getting worse. Easy to blame the media for sensationalizing the rare and obscure bc the common and norm aren't "news-worthy." Those rare events become ingrained in our memory, not the nonevents. Evolution is also to blame bc fear and irrationality are often more adaptive over being rational. Fear isn't as useful anymore for survival; now it can be crippling and counterproductive.
I bet some of it is parent driven within the community. Parents pushing for these laws. As with all laws and regulations, they happen because assertive people within the community push for it. Media scare stories help feed the neuroses, but people are the ones asking for this over-protectiveness. Someone like this woman pushing back will hopefully give people some perspective.
Kids need to go play away from their parents. They need to explore. They need to fall out of trees and skin their knees on concrete. They need to interact without a big nosey parent looking over their shoulder.
How else do they learn their capabilities and the boundaries of life, learn how to interact with other people (eg kids when they're down the street playing)?
She talks a lot of uncommon sense to me.
I think parents do need to protect their kids to some degree, but also give them a little room to breathe. depending on the children & their personality. whats good for one family may not work in another family. Parents are responsible for their children not for all of society's children.
And people wonder why there's an increase in child obesity. They blame bad food but fail to take into account that not being active plays a huge part in children being overweight. I ate a lot of junk when I was a kid but I spent most of my time outside whether it was riding my bike or playing tag with the kids in the neighborhood.
Seeing a lot of negative comments about appearances etc. If you are coming to ReasonTV looking for the next sexiest supermodel you have tuned into the wrong channel. It's much easier to post comments discounting others than it is to make videos with your image. Think before you post and have some empathy!
I was expecting some Leninist "un-schooling" claptrap when I saw the title. She could have maybe gone into some more detail on the facts about how safe children really are these days as compared to 20-30-40 years ago, but overall, I like her message.
I just think its also inconsiderate to the check out employee to leave your child while you get something. This person has a job to do and why burden her with the stress of watching your child when it should be the parents responsibility. Fine teach kids about independence but don't rely on a stranger.
Was I ever a free range kid. From the time I was six, I could leave the house and roam around town, through the woods behind my house, and just feel free. We invented our own games and made toys out of a piece of wood. Everybody in town knew me and my parents.
I can't help but notice kids that get too much attention and "guidance" such as the future therapy patient and heart transplant recipient, Honey Boo Boo. In any case, I'm glad she cited Steven Pinker; a very brilliant scientist by any measure and a great defender of free speech.
I'm somewhere in between.
I almost ran over a 3 year old girl while i was driving down a street at 20mph.. there were like 4 kids playing unattended, the youngest looked about 2..the oldest was 6-7.. no parents in sight, and the 4-5year old leaped in front of my car, and luckily I was alert.
I disagree when it comes to supervising a child on the sidewalk in front of the house. The child should always be within sight of an adult. My friend's little son was kidnapped from a store while they were shopping. One lady just came and took his hand. The store staff were immediately alerted. The boy was found two minutes later. He was already far beyond the store parking lot. The woman was pulling his hand. She ran away. Today's world is full of lunatics, psychos and degenerates. We as parents are responsible for the safety of our children. You may be called an overprotective parent, but your child won't end up in the basement of some crazy guy with a knife.
What the hell new movement my butt, I was a free range kid growing up in Los Angles. I would ride my bike to the beach at least 30 miles stay there all day and be home by time the lights came on, and that was at the age of 11 and 12 give me a break.