As a mum of three boys 20,18,15 The older I get the more I can see the value of arranged marriages! Totally convinced I could find a life partner for my young men better than they could. After all I have been on the planet for over 50 yrs and wiser (I hope) for it.….. Now I just have to convince them. 😅
I really admire aleeza's commitment to seeing the best in people. Next time I'm tempted to judge, criticize or gossip I'm going to think of her example 💜
If you grew up in a Jewish family, you cannot be non-Jewish. You may not be a religious Jew, but Judaism is both a religion and a nationality. You can stop being part of the religion, but you can't change your nationality.
@@יעללוי777 I was never part of the Jewish religion though. My mum married a Jewish man, I had Jewish step-siblings and extended family, most of my friends growing up were Jewish. We had friday night dinners, went to countless bar/bat mitzvahs, but my mum never converted and neither did I. I am Singaporean-Chinese ethnically and have British nationality. We celebrated both Hanukkah and Chinese New Year.
I love this lady so much- she's wise and insightful. Well done getting her on, Andrew. My fave interview for some time. Cheers from Celia in Australia.x
I am totally with her. In our younger years we tend to overlook things because we are in lust that we think is love. In older years there is still lust, but we look deeper into the heart, mind, as well as habits, work ethic, what one does in spare time. My husband & I like the same music, movies, & have so much in common such as background.
Andrew, I pray that you read this message. I just reached the part where you say that you are envious of the lady because she's a believer. I was moved by that, and so I want to share with you what my mother did for me, which brought my faith back stronger than ever. I was an atheist for 5 years and I had reached a very dark time in my life. My mother challenged me to get down on my knees on New Year's Eve and to pray to God. It was a simple prayer, something along the lines of "God, if you are real and if you can hear me, please make yourself known to me." I didn't feel any immense immediate change, but I felt a subtle peace. I continued doing this every day for almost 10 years now, and gradually my experience of knowing God became undeniable to the point where I can truly rely on Him and His guidance. So perhaps try that. It will feel strange at first, you may feel as if you're speaking into a void... But perhaps a soft presence will begin to glow in your life until one day you too will become convinced that the living God is real. I pray that this happens for you so that you experience what so many of your people have been experiencing for millennia :)
Love Aleeza. She's incredibly likeable. Just couldn't help but wish that you push back on the marriage success stats, there are many confounding factors to those statics, like social norms, shunning, family (more religious=more kids = needing to stay married), and many more, all of which would also hold true for historical marriage statistics. Regardless, Aleeza is awesome ❤
First of all, this was amazing. I loved Aleeza's vibe instantly - so much so that I'm thinking of paying for Netflix just to see her show. What an intriguing and interesting interview! I wouldn't mind going through a matchmaker. I'm nearly 49, never had a spouse, and my last partner (we were engaged long distance, then he called to tell me he cheated & he was going to marry her instead. And he did.) broke up with me in 2002. As a confirmed introvert and someone who currently is dealing with some physical disability issues, a matchmaker would be a great tool to have available for someone like me. Also, your partner's from Argentina?? That's where I did my first exchange student experience! Loved it and I've been homesick for it ever since. If there's any chance she's from Resistencia, in Chaco province, that's my adopted hometown. :) ANYWAY - great interview. I don't know how you come up with your topics and find your people, but this is another slam dunk, Andrew. ❤👏👏👏💯
I am not Jewish and I fell for a Jewish guy, with an understanding that it will never happen. I always remember the line from The Fiddler on the Roof: „A bird can love a fish, but where will they build their home?”
I was raised Mormon. My husband was raised Muslim. My family took issue with it, but his didn't. We have 2 kids and have been married for 10 years. Our approach to both of our religious traditions (neither of us believe anymore) are very similar. Had someone tried to set me up with a Mormon man, I don't think I would have been nearly as happy.
Similar for my fiancé and I. We have been together almost eight years and he was raised Jewish and I was raised in a Christian family. Both of us are by choice spiritual and not religious and he is my friend, soulmate, love of my life, etc. I don’t think I would be nearly as happy if I had been paired with a Christian man.
I think this is much better than having parents making decisions about who their kids marry. The people who use this service can always say "no, that's not the one for me."
I love your Channel! Sharing these videos with my Sister and Mom . You're always so respectful and appropriate, I'm totally confident sharing your channel with them
Interesting show. We have a saying in Denmark "Lige børn leger bedst" roughly translated equals are best matched. So yes, you DO have (imho) to have the same beliefs and foundation, to make a marriage work. Morally, spiritually and the way you want to raise your children are huge topics, where there must be on common ground.
Aleeza is the sweetest person! She has such a romantic view of the world. I may not share that view, but it's nice to see a genuinely kind person. I met my partner online 5 years ago, people say we're made for each other
I met my husband at 17, we married 4 years later. 3 children, 55 years married, am I just lucky? Not really as I’ve just lost him,and miss him so much!
Just because religious couples have a lower divorce rate doesnt necessarily mean theyre happier. If you dont believe in divorce and you just suffer thru life with a person are we really gonna say thats successful
I’ve often heard you say that you don’t look Jewish. I’m an Ashkenazi Jew from New York City. You look nothing but Jewish to me. We are all cousins, you know. We all look like each other.
Crikey bobs! I met my man 1968 and married in 1972, still with him... We were drawn towards each other no third party involved.. This is a whole new world to me.
Aleeza is so lovely, she is the best thing about the Jewish Match Maker Netflix series - I'm sure the production team chose quite fussy participants for 'entertainment value' - Aleeza is so patient and cheerful with them I don't know how she does it! Looking forward to the next series for the outcomes of her matchmaking.
This was a great show. Very interesting. Aleeza has a great way about her. I agree with her about love and the spiritual connection. However, I do think intermarriage can work. I grew up as a Presbyterian, my brother married a Jewish woman with an Israeli dad, and they're still married after 25 years with 2 kids and happy. I set up a Jewish ex-boyfriend of mine with a Catholic girlfriend of mine, and they're still married 15 years later. I married another Gentile and got divorced after 9 years, with no kids, even though I wanted them but knew it would have been a bad idea. In one way what Aleeza says is depressing in my situation, LOL but I fundamentally agree with her about the importance of family. Thanks for having her on.
That's a very offensive thing to say--I hope you got a rush from your moral indignation, Shona. Fortunately, the insult is mitigated by your lack of critical thinking skills. You should read Ayn Rand and Malcolm X. @@shonabeggs4640
Great video, your guest was fantastic and very wise. I’ve been married nearly 53 years to a lapsed Catholic. All the subjects your guest covered about relationships and finding a partner are important things to sort out before a couple make a commitment. I’m 25% Ashkenazi Jew, for a joke I used to threaten my two daughters with a marriage maker. In the end they found the ‘right one’ on their own and are very happy. Thank you.
Hannukah is an extremely minor holiday - so in no way comparable. It gained in popularity principally to draw contrast to the cultural impact of the main Christian holiday.
I love her! She is the most sensible woman I've had the pleasure to hear. She makes sense for all religions. What a wonderful human being. Oh, and I'm not Jewish. 💙
If you ' love her ' why didn't you listen to what she had to say instead of blowing smoke up her?. It has nothing to do with religion. It's overtly racist, that's all that matters - race. But only for her group. Listen to her own words from 10:56 on that piece of land she lives on that magically grows year on year is an ethno state - enshrined in law. Meanwhile she rubs her hands telling you for every other group go ahead and mix ' Christian + Christian, Hindu + Hindu, Muslim + Muslim They can and are made up of people of various ethnicities and races. Pure racism!. Meanwhile in old YT land Anne Boleyn must be black!, we must overflow with every other colour. Our people on the streets but an army of men living in plush hotels. GTF with your nonsense, you 'love her' your father failed at the most important task he was ever set.
Yes please to changing family life - in fact I said the same thing recently ie build up/change the family life and you change the outside world🏡 Andrew I love your programs and, btw you are all heart & soul you just dont know it yet😄🤗Thanks for this Much Love👏❤
so much to unpack here. First off, I LOVED that show! I felt that Aleeza was endearing and charismatic. She is JUST as wonderful here in this interview and if she ever comes to Brazil, I'll definitely see her! That being said, not one of the couples worked out. I am the son of an ex-orthodox Jewish man and a gentile mother. The ONLY problem they had was in the beginning when they were dating and eventually got married. My father's orthodox family did not accept my mother, and caused many problems for them, and were basically mean to her while they were dating. They even got married in a different city because they suspected his mother would do something wild! NONE of my father's family attended and they sat shiva for him from his wedding day! YEARS later, they came around and were nice to her. My mother helped a lot of his siblings with different things, and his one sister apologized profusely.They have all passed, but I have MANY cousins from my dad's side that I don't know. I'm finding them little by little. Some of them are VERY close to me now and I am sooooo happy about that! Anyway. Other than that, my mom and dad had a great relationship and I am a little triggered by her saying that it's easier for people of the same religion to be together. If the people are observant, yes. i can see that. But, for secular Jews and Christians, etc.... I really don't see it mattering. ALSO, the whole thing about only your mother's bloodline determines if you're Jewish. My dad and his siblings all spoke Yiddish fluently and my grandparents never really learned English that well. I grew up eating Challah, Hamantaschen, gifelte fish, etc... I lost many relatives in the Holocaust. I understand that I am not Jewish by religion. I don't practice any religion. But my heritage, blood, culture, customs, etc... are VERY Jewish and I am VERY proud of that. It kind of stings a little every time people feel the need to remind me, 'You know you're not Jewish." YES, I KNOW! But do they expect me to completely disregard all those Jewish parts of my life? When my cousin became a bar mitzvah in April, I went to the ceremony. The rabbi there was SOOOOO incredible. This came up, and he just hugged me and said, "You're Jewish here." He and his rabbi wife are the most loving and charismatic and funny people I've ever met. I live in Brazil and they are in Pittsburgh, PA. I attend their Zoom services often now and if I lived in Pittsburgh, I would probably be studying for my conversion now! hahah (Shout out to Rabbis Amy and Alex Greenbaum from the Beth El Congregation of the South Hills in Pitt!!!!) Anyway, thanks for letting me vent here and I hope you all find your bashert!!!!
Amazing interview so interesting and she makes a lot of sense . People wait to get married until after 30 they are running out of time for children,after age 35 babies can be born with more birth defects & pregnancy is often harder on the mother the longer past age 35. Also once you have done everything for yourself for 35 years now you have to split your time with a partner & children.
Great podcast! Really like Aleeza 😁. I’m just wondering though why you chose the picture you did to put on the video? Unless it’s something I missed as I was multi tasking at first.
Great discussion full of good questions, and this guest was so warm and positive. I wish I'd heard this discussion long ago, before losing a wonderful relationship which would be thriving today had I known better how to nurture it.
There is a vast difference between the Matchmaking style that Aleeza uses and Forced Arranged marriages that some Cultures employ. I enjoyed her series on Netflix and look forward to the new season. Great interview Andrew - the Indian Matchmaker Netflix series is interesting too.
'Gossip' is a very important function of society, it's how you find out how other people are viewed by your peers, it informs you of traits and behaviours that are viewed both positively and negatively by your particular group.
@@ranchoboomerang which is why I put the word in inverted commas. I'm talking about the practise of 'casually speaking about other people', both positively and negatively. Almost everyone does it, it isn't usually malicious.
A "yente" (יענטע) translates from Yiddish to mean, "gossiper." Hence the negativity around the term - the woman who used to try to set people up was the woman who knew what was what with everyone in the community because she was a big gossiper.
Your home is the world. Whatever happens in yr home affects the world. It all comes from the 2 people who marry and then have a family: Everything depends on how the mother & father bring up their children: what that means how the Mother & Father interact between themselves, the children are watching you, listening to you... they are learning from you both, how to become the future mothers & fathers!
Many arranged marriages are enforced upon females who are not allowed to leave even when abused. So I do not agree with the comment that arranged marriages are fair, look @ the stats now and historically to see how many women can’t divorce or they lose their children, are shunned from their communities, are beaten into submission, who weep on their wedding day, who as teens are married to a man 40+ years older. 👵🏽X👵🏻🇬🇧
Tider has done massive damage to dating. Apps in general are terrible and lead to people having really skewed views of how attractive they may or may not be.
There is very good point in a matchmaking.Or in having someone who is mediator between two people.If you don't like something or you just can't go further you will not tell in a face to a person what you don't like and explain to him or her what is wrong and offend him.You will tell it in a nice way to a matchmaker and she will explain it in a nice way to other side- person. And by the way matchmaker can be also some of your friends.Or someone who had a good idea.
Your questions are very insightful and I like that you listen with an open mind, even though you’re coming from a different perspective. The wisdom she shared (and lives by!) is very in line with Torah values. We believe that the same God who created us, also gave us the manual to live by, and thereby have the most meaningful life experiences. These ideas easily apply to all people, not just Jews.
I believe in a soul but i didnt feel like i was more likely to settle long term with a jewish person based on the ones ive met. Im settled with 2 children and ive been with my partner for longer than my mum was married to my dad. I think where matchmaking is most useful is the ultra orthadox community where its essential due to their lifestyle.
Andrew ..you know what it means to be Jewish!! As soon as I saw you, heard you and saw your name, as a London Jew I knew you were Jewish immediately! Your cultural heritage and historical ancestry are the same as mine! That's what makes you Jewish
@@shonabeggs4640 To the contrary , Gold is more often than not a contraction of Goldstein , anglicized during the 2nd World war era when antisemitism was becoming stronger worldwide
Jewbu ha ha, If I were Jewish, I would want to marry another Jewish person. It's less hassle. You don't want to be arguing over christenings, schools, first communions, confirmations et cetera. It makes sense, my x was so athiest it was EXHAUASTING, he wouldn't go along with anything just because it was cultural. Drove me mad and it's not like I'm a big believer, but he made a religion out of being Athiest.
I spent over two years @ start of the 80’s in Israel working on two Kibbutzim and when I had to leave suffered severe depression as I wanted to stay forever, unfortunately I was not Jewish and had no chance @ being accepted. Kibbutz + Moshav are just 3% of Israel’s population but their communities as a youngster made me feel the inclusivity + working together the nearest to equality + seemed to work. I am against communism, Marxism, Fascism and what we are experiencing today (equal to the fall of the Roman Empire?) Jews rarely marry non-Jews which I feel is sad. The Hasidic etc are a different group, religious ideological radicals are certainly not my cup of tea! 👵🏽X👵🏻🇬🇧
Young People, listen to her. Don’t miss your chance to find the true meaning in life of living and loving in a family community. I’m 70 yrs old and have been blessed with this - 8 grandchildren. But I could have easily missed it. It’s worth any sacrifice you may have to make. But marry what i call a “good-willed” person and someone like-minded in your belief system. You can get thru anything if you do. And you will be so glad when you are old that you have this equity.
My Uncle, who is Catholic, married a Jewish woman and their son observes both Judaism and Christianity. It bothers nobody. Of course, this is in the United States. In Israel, it might raise some eyebrows.
Fun vlog Andrew- Love her! Aleeza you have a great smile. My Ex-husband was 1/4 Jewish. I found that I missed the missing 3/4’s. I divorced him for other reasons……..I could have used a matchmaker! 😅
My Father in law told my Jewish husband if he married me " not jewish" He'd be disinherited. My husband didn't go with that we've been together for 36 yrs
A while ago i spoke with a matchmaking agency in London who wanted £15k to find me someone. Absolutely crazy money. If it was more affordable id go for it. Unfortunately the Shul i go to does not have a Sidduch.
Andrew speaking about people accusing him of being a gossip brought to mind a hilarious mental picture of him laying a bed, painting his nails, phone pinned between his shoulder and his ear…😂🤣
She's super knowledgeable, so if nothing else that experience she has must be really valuable to the community. I met my match when I was out dancing for a friend's birthday and he was doing the same. We regularly say the same thing at the same time in the same way and show up to eachother's houses wearing the exact same colors despite not being from the same culture(s) or being born in the same country. I wonder what she'd have to say about matches like that...
I loved this realty show on Netflix and enjoyed Lisa’s personality- I hope if there is another season the guy , I believes he’s in Utah ( he has a son in Israel ) finds a soul mate -
The demonization of gossip actually comes from sexism. In ancient times, people were intimidated by women who knew a lot about the people in their community. Thus, I’m with the host on the idea that “gossiping” is natural, human, and NEEDED. Women often abstain from exposing a creep in the workplace, for example, because they fear being called a gossip or a troublemaker. I hope Aleeza develops more of an open mind regarding the way people communicate, and how ancient sexism can influence how we see certain behaviors. That being said, seems cheerful, fun, and smart!
It's not about how it can work, but about what to do when it doesn't work. I married Peter because I wanted to build a life with him and giving the children a stable background. On top of that, my parents had a good marriage and I saw how they took over when one of them was sick - that's how it has to be, but nothing in my marriage worked as it should and when I decided that things would only change if I worked on them, the environment started to stop me from doing that. Indeed, things work for thousands of years but not because they are good, but because women can solve problems without making them worse. It's important that people understand the basics of my ground plan and part of that is changing the must into can and the can't into don't have to. We all want a FUNCTIONAL life, being able to cope with our problems and being loved and respected for who we are. This is where the idea of having a 'nobody' beside our body comes in - what kind of person are you when there is no pressure from outside? My basic program is simple, but effective when the tooth looks allright but is rotten inside, and, if we change therapy (connected to the ba or the master) into supporting without bells and pomegranates, we would be much more honest about the situations we create when we don't feel free to do it our own way. Knowing that we don't believe in facts, but in testimonies, I offer the world my life as an example of the things I learned after the 'perfect storm'. Even talking about my intentions has changed the media - yeasterday, I saw a French documentary about an incest case in the north of France and I was oleasantly surprised. The Jewish lifestyle is 100% based on the ba, although they still use the idea of the female line. That can work, when everybody is respecting the rules and get a lecture when they don't, but the human being is an opportunistic creature and even that aspect became clear when I tried to clean up the mess 'in the house'. The 'tripod' skeleton is stable and mobile - nothing is good or bad without a common context and, using my own experiences, it's better to do the job yourself than letting a stranger decide what to change (outside control). 1. ka-ba-la as it should be used (and be careful not to take the ka for the ba and vice versa) ka = female & spiritual, the Teacher, Source ba = male & material, the Master, God la = body & nobody, the Pupil, Ego (as in I and nobody else) 2. TypeSCaPe represents the 5 levels of the process that has an inwards part and and outwards TPS (inwards) = Trends, Patterns, Strategies (Structures) -> more than 90 % of everything that happens is taking place on this level SCP (outwards) = System, Cycle, Processing the 'food' -> it's time to do the bigger job and getting out of the oppressed patterns that silence us when thing go wrong 3. The Humane Codex: one possesses for 100% one's own life, but ONLY one's own life. Since the actual juridical system is ba-based, we need a court system that is ka-besed to keep a healthy balance. The *Sanhedrin* is meant to fill that in, but (of course) this word is used for ba-related promises and we forgot the ka when we started to lie, cheat, and fight for things that made our life more comfortable. We still talk like the ka, but walk like the ba and that will never change, unless it hurts us badly on the collective level. Kies Boom En Ark - is an anagram of Karen Kiebooms, my 'house' is the Ark (Karen Anker) and the tree (boom) is a kaki-boom (the kaki of Nagasaki) ... Everything I do is on the SCP level and to be sure that I wasn't favoring my own 'club', everything I advice can be used by everybody, who needs it to understand his/her personal situation. I am MORE than the daughter of my father, the wife of my spouse, or the mother of my son(s) and my 'nobody' livs longer than my body because my children will remember me for my good lessons and not for my bad behaviour. That isn't too hard to understand, is it, I am just ONE person, living a complex life between my birth and death. Everything in my life prepared me for the JOB and when I'm ready, I have to make place for my next me that has a new mission. I built up a good reputation in my earlier lives and that should be the green card for trusting me on my word of honor, but it's still just one life that can make the difference and my hourglass has to be turned asap.
@@Mimi-uv2nh it's like PREPPING your dinners for the week to come ... on August 9. 2045, a time capsule will be given free on the internet and these kinds of comments (+ the reactions) will be used to explain what REALLY happened in 2011 ... I did my job, knowing that we only had ONE chance to do it right, but people were too concerned with teaching me a lesson and that's why it will be too late to chage the outcome. Is it the end of times or just a new beginning with loads of chances for those, who can at leas understand that everything has moved to the edge. My hourglass has to be turned asap and I already know that this will not be the end of Karen Kiebooms - my nobody (sofie - 356 - Taes) will have her own body and I will have my own corpse Not important yet, but things will shake harder than one expects (this is prepared for ages, don't even think that the idiots will have their victory (and when everybody is into the same mess, people will show their creative power again, not when nobody gives a shit!
You saw a documentary about a French incest case and were pleasantly surprised? And with no further clarification, I can presume you should never be around children.
Its interesting with her views on the modern individualistic world where people focus on their own goals and then when sorted try to find a mate that meets their individual lifestyle and needs. I don't know anything about Andrew, but he did me think of a journalist trying to get his podcast going, single and working on his career. It was a bit unfortunate that his face was on the screen at the same time as she was talking about individualism. But a good podcast and interview. Perhaps Andrew needs to have podcasts for his relationship stuff and his more serious stuff (Heretics). I think he is better suited to this sort of interview.
@@hemera73 you know I really cared about him and if he wouldn't of done it in such a shady way I think we could've been friends but I have pretty strong boundaries, so it really became a time of deep inner reflection for me and I'm grateful for it. 💞
What are your thoughts on matchmaking? How did you find your loved one? :) Hit that like button!
My hubby & I were set up on a blind date. 😊
@@maryannlockwood7806 that is cool!!
Sounds like a cult to me
As a mum of three boys 20,18,15 The older I get the more I can see the value of arranged marriages! Totally convinced I could find a life partner for my young men better than they could. After all I have been on the planet for over 50 yrs and wiser (I hope) for it.….. Now I just have to convince them. 😅
@@bluetoad2668 Nope, there are sects inside judaism, but it's not a cult.
I just adore her approach to matchmaking and her understanding of love and partnership. She is really the best!
I really admire aleeza's commitment to seeing the best in people. Next time I'm tempted to judge, criticize or gossip I'm going to think of her example 💜
I'm not Jewish but grew up in a Jewish family and interacted with the orthodox community, Aleeza represents the best of it for sure. Love this lady!
If you grew up in a Jewish family, you cannot be non-Jewish. You may not be a religious Jew, but Judaism is both a religion and a nationality.
You can stop being part of the religion, but you can't change your nationality.
@@יעללוי777 Jewish is more of a culture , not a nation/race.
@@יעללוי777 I was never part of the Jewish religion though. My mum married a Jewish man, I had Jewish step-siblings and extended family, most of my friends growing up were Jewish. We had friday night dinners, went to countless bar/bat mitzvahs, but my mum never converted and neither did I. I am Singaporean-Chinese ethnically and have British nationality. We celebrated both Hanukkah and Chinese New Year.
@@יעללוי777It's not a nationality at all. It's an ethnicity. Was that a deliberate obfuscation or don't you know the difference?
@@jdjones4825it is a race.
I love this lady so much- she's wise and insightful. Well done getting her on, Andrew. My fave interview for some time. Cheers from Celia in Australia.x
I am totally with her. In our younger years we tend to overlook things because we are in lust that we think is love. In older years there is still lust, but we look deeper into the heart, mind, as well as habits, work ethic, what one does in spare time. My husband & I like the same music, movies, & have so much in common such as background.
Andrew, I pray that you read this message. I just reached the part where you say that you are envious of the lady because she's a believer. I was moved by that, and so I want to share with you what my mother did for me, which brought my faith back stronger than ever. I was an atheist for 5 years and I had reached a very dark time in my life. My mother challenged me to get down on my knees on New Year's Eve and to pray to God. It was a simple prayer, something along the lines of "God, if you are real and if you can hear me, please make yourself known to me." I didn't feel any immense immediate change, but I felt a subtle peace. I continued doing this every day for almost 10 years now, and gradually my experience of knowing God became undeniable to the point where I can truly rely on Him and His guidance. So perhaps try that. It will feel strange at first, you may feel as if you're speaking into a void... But perhaps a soft presence will begin to glow in your life until one day you too will become convinced that the living God is real. I pray that this happens for you so that you experience what so many of your people have been experiencing for millennia :)
Love this show👏👏👏. Fantastic guest!!! Thanks for bringing such an amazing message
Positive information I think it is better than casual ,superficial, dating with strangers. 🥰
The crossover I didn’t know I wanted but that I LOVE
The crossover between...?
@@evelineg.1841Jewish Matchmaking from TLC and Andrew of course
Oh, @AleezaBenShalom. You are truly blessed/gifted. To watch @AndrewGold open up to you was such a sweet experience.
Great episode. She's an inspiring woman doing wonderful work for the world.
For the world, Or for her group?
Love Aleeza. She's incredibly likeable.
Just couldn't help but wish that you push back on the marriage success stats, there are many confounding factors to those statics, like social norms, shunning, family (more religious=more kids = needing to stay married), and many more, all of which would also hold true for historical marriage statistics. Regardless, Aleeza is awesome ❤
His bias prevents any pushback unfortunately.
First of all, this was amazing. I loved Aleeza's vibe instantly - so much so that I'm thinking of paying for Netflix just to see her show. What an intriguing and interesting interview! I wouldn't mind going through a matchmaker. I'm nearly 49, never had a spouse, and my last partner (we were engaged long distance, then he called to tell me he cheated & he was going to marry her instead. And he did.) broke up with me in 2002. As a confirmed introvert and someone who currently is dealing with some physical disability issues, a matchmaker would be a great tool to have available for someone like me. Also, your partner's from Argentina?? That's where I did my first exchange student experience! Loved it and I've been homesick for it ever since. If there's any chance she's from Resistencia, in Chaco province, that's my adopted hometown. :) ANYWAY - great interview. I don't know how you come up with your topics and find your people, but this is another slam dunk, Andrew. ❤👏👏👏💯
I love her. I have been married for 42 years and totally agree with her outlook. Love the part of 1 + 1 = 1. Yes!!!!
Yes, you serve the relationship, that's what most people aren't aware of.
I am not Jewish and I fell for a Jewish guy, with an understanding that it will never happen.
I always remember the line from The Fiddler on the Roof: „A bird can love a fish, but where will they build their home?”
I feel your heartbreak!
I was raised Mormon. My husband was raised Muslim. My family took issue with it, but his didn't. We have 2 kids and have been married for 10 years. Our approach to both of our religious traditions (neither of us believe anymore) are very similar. Had someone tried to set me up with a Mormon man, I don't think I would have been nearly as happy.
Similar for my fiancé and I. We have been together almost eight years and he was raised Jewish and I was raised in a Christian family. Both of us are by choice spiritual and not religious and he is my friend, soulmate, love of my life, etc. I don’t think I would be nearly as happy if I had been paired with a Christian man.
Love is love. Period ❤
I think this is much better than having parents making decisions about who their kids marry. The people who use this service can always say "no, that's not the one for me."
Oy Gevalt, Andrew!
❤ Your Channel & Content.....
I enjoyed the repartee, wonderful guest Andrew.
Thank you.
I love your Channel! Sharing these videos with my Sister and Mom . You're always so respectful and appropriate, I'm totally confident sharing your channel with them
Interesting show. We have a saying in Denmark "Lige børn leger bedst" roughly translated equals are best matched. So yes, you DO have (imho) to have the same beliefs and foundation, to make a marriage work. Morally, spiritually and the way you want to raise your children are huge topics, where there must be on common ground.
You need a similar moral and ethical base .
Aleeza is the sweetest person! She has such a romantic view of the world. I may not share that view, but it's nice to see a genuinely kind person. I met my partner online 5 years ago, people say we're made for each other
I met my husband at 17, we married 4 years later. 3 children, 55 years married, am I just lucky? Not really as I’ve just lost him,and miss him so much!
Just because religious couples have a lower divorce rate doesnt necessarily mean theyre happier. If you dont believe in divorce and you just suffer thru life with a person are we really gonna say thats successful
Perfect point. Also, the divorce rates grew with more woman independency.
Same goes for irreligious couples. Not all unhappy couples get divorced.
@@chatisawasteoftime whose saying those marriages are successful?
Andrew, I can relate to this @18:30 ! Glad to hear you found your person and don’t have that worry anymore.
Me too 😔
I’ve often heard you say that you don’t look Jewish. I’m an Ashkenazi Jew from New York City. You look nothing but Jewish to me. We are all cousins, you know. We all look like each other.
I’m a gentile and absolutely agree with you!
Wonderful interview! Congratulations for your engagment Andrew!
Great episode Andrew.
Crikey bobs! I met my man 1968 and married in 1972, still with him... We were drawn towards each other no third party involved.. This is a whole new world to me.
Aleeza is so lovely, she is the best thing about the Jewish Match Maker Netflix series - I'm sure the production team chose quite fussy participants for 'entertainment value' - Aleeza is so patient and cheerful with them I don't know how she does it! Looking forward to the next series for the outcomes of her matchmaking.
This was a great show. Very interesting. Aleeza has a great way about her. I agree with her about love and the spiritual connection. However, I do think intermarriage can work. I grew up as a Presbyterian, my brother married a Jewish woman with an Israeli dad, and they're still married after 25 years with 2 kids and happy. I set up a Jewish ex-boyfriend of mine with a Catholic girlfriend of mine, and they're still married 15 years later. I married another Gentile and got divorced after 9 years, with no kids, even though I wanted them but knew it would have been a bad idea. In one way what Aleeza says is depressing in my situation, LOL but I fundamentally agree with her about the importance of family. Thanks for having her on.
Sickening. I'm so glad you didn't have children, they'd have been othered.
That's a very offensive thing to say--I hope you got a rush from your moral indignation, Shona. Fortunately, the insult is mitigated by your lack of critical thinking skills. You should read Ayn Rand and Malcolm X. @@shonabeggs4640
Aww,this one really made me want a matchmaker for atheists that's as lovely as this.
Great video, your guest was fantastic and very wise.
I’ve been married nearly 53 years to a lapsed Catholic.
All the subjects your guest covered about relationships and finding a partner are important things to sort out before a couple make a commitment.
I’m 25% Ashkenazi Jew, for a joke I used to threaten my two daughters with a marriage maker. In the end they found the ‘right one’ on their own and are very happy.
Thank you.
not everyone 'should' get married.
I really enjoyed this series as well.
My wife is Jewish. Having different holidays means we get to spend Christmas with my family and Hanukkah with hers
That is what my fiancé and I do as well. 💗
@@Mimi-uv2nhI totally and completely agree.
But reconciling beliefs is what causes trouble. How do you raise children with opposite beliefs from one of their parents?
Hannukah is an extremely minor holiday - so in no way comparable. It gained in popularity principally to draw contrast to the cultural impact of the main Christian holiday.
I love her! She is the most sensible woman I've had the pleasure to hear. She makes sense for all religions. What a wonderful human being. Oh, and I'm not Jewish. 💙
If you ' love her ' why didn't you listen to what she had to say instead of blowing smoke up her?. It has nothing to do with religion. It's overtly racist, that's all that matters - race. But only for her group. Listen to her own words from 10:56 on that piece of land she lives on that magically grows year on year is an ethno state - enshrined in law. Meanwhile she rubs her hands telling you for every other group go ahead and mix ' Christian + Christian, Hindu + Hindu, Muslim + Muslim They can and are made up of people of various ethnicities and races. Pure racism!. Meanwhile in old YT land Anne Boleyn must be black!, we must overflow with every other colour. Our people on the streets but an army of men living in plush hotels. GTF with your nonsense, you 'love her' your father failed at the most important task he was ever set.
Very interesting! She was an amazing guest.
This was so entertaining and fun to watch, so thank you!
Matchmaker, Matchmaker,
Make me a match,
Find me a find,
catch me a catch
Matchmaker, Matchmaker
Look through your book,
And make me a perfect match
I was Hodel in a play
Fantastic interview!
I absolutely love this show! You’re wonderful, I love the people you chose to present. This is wonderful!
What a great conversation. Really got me thinking. Love this woman.
This discussion was fascinating!,this is a truly beauty , if only more people could take this on. I can’t wanit
Other people are not allowed to do this.
I'm a fan of the show😊and i'm Roman Catholic. We believe that faith is a gift and research
My spouse and I are secular but have been happily married for over 40 years.
I’ve read several studies showing there is little differences in divorce rates between religious and secular couples.
This was very enjoyable, insightful and full of ‘sage’ advice. Thank you
Yes please to changing family life - in fact I said the same thing recently ie build up/change the family life and you change the outside world🏡 Andrew I love your programs and, btw you are all heart & soul you just dont know it yet😄🤗Thanks for this Much Love👏❤
so much to unpack here. First off, I LOVED that show! I felt that Aleeza was endearing and charismatic. She is JUST as wonderful here in this interview and if she ever comes to Brazil, I'll definitely see her! That being said, not one of the couples worked out. I am the son of an ex-orthodox Jewish man and a gentile mother. The ONLY problem they had was in the beginning when they were dating and eventually got married. My father's orthodox family did not accept my mother, and caused many problems for them, and were basically mean to her while they were dating. They even got married in a different city because they suspected his mother would do something wild! NONE of my father's family attended and they sat shiva for him from his wedding day! YEARS later, they came around and were nice to her. My mother helped a lot of his siblings with different things, and his one sister apologized profusely.They have all passed, but I have MANY cousins from my dad's side that I don't know. I'm finding them little by little. Some of them are VERY close to me now and I am sooooo happy about that! Anyway. Other than that, my mom and dad had a great relationship and I am a little triggered by her saying that it's easier for people of the same religion to be together. If the people are observant, yes. i can see that. But, for secular Jews and Christians, etc.... I really don't see it mattering. ALSO, the whole thing about only your mother's bloodline determines if you're Jewish. My dad and his siblings all spoke Yiddish fluently and my grandparents never really learned English that well. I grew up eating Challah, Hamantaschen, gifelte fish, etc... I lost many relatives in the Holocaust. I understand that I am not Jewish by religion. I don't practice any religion. But my heritage, blood, culture, customs, etc... are VERY Jewish and I am VERY proud of that. It kind of stings a little every time people feel the need to remind me, 'You know you're not Jewish." YES, I KNOW! But do they expect me to completely disregard all those Jewish parts of my life? When my cousin became a bar mitzvah in April, I went to the ceremony. The rabbi there was SOOOOO incredible. This came up, and he just hugged me and said, "You're Jewish here." He and his rabbi wife are the most loving and charismatic and funny people I've ever met. I live in Brazil and they are in Pittsburgh, PA. I attend their Zoom services often now and if I lived in Pittsburgh, I would probably be studying for my conversion now! hahah (Shout out to Rabbis Amy and Alex Greenbaum from the Beth El Congregation of the South Hills in Pitt!!!!) Anyway, thanks for letting me vent here and I hope you all find your bashert!!!!
Amazing interview so interesting and she makes a lot of sense . People wait to get married until after 30 they are running out of time for children,after age 35 babies can be born with more birth defects & pregnancy is often harder on the mother the longer past age 35. Also once you have done everything for yourself for 35 years now you have to split your time with a partner & children.
I agree . You are more set in your ways and less tolerant if differences .
Ah she seems lovely, I'd go for coffee with Aleeza.🙂 I agree, values need to be the same. But maybe opposites in terms of introvert / extrovert.
I love this woman!!! 😀❤
It's devine you ended up with Jewish 😂🎉funny 😂❤❤❤❤
Great podcast! Really like Aleeza 😁. I’m just wondering though why you chose the picture you did to put on the video? Unless it’s something I missed as I was multi tasking at first.
Great discussion full of good questions, and this guest was so warm and positive. I wish I'd heard this discussion long ago, before losing a wonderful relationship which would be thriving today had I known better how to nurture it.
Grats on you guys' engagement! Happy for yall!!!
WOW!! Aleeza is spot on!!
There is a vast difference between the Matchmaking style that Aleeza uses and Forced Arranged marriages that some Cultures employ. I enjoyed her series on Netflix and look forward to the new season. Great interview Andrew - the Indian Matchmaker Netflix series is interesting too.
'Gossip' is a very important function of society, it's how you find out how other people are viewed by your peers, it informs you of traits and behaviours that are viewed both positively and negatively by your particular group.
If you look up the definition of gossip, it's not something people should casually do. It's a destructive activity.
@@ranchoboomerang which is why I put the word in inverted commas. I'm talking about the practise of 'casually speaking about other people', both positively and negatively. Almost everyone does it, it isn't usually malicious.
@@Faeriedarkewhat are inverted commas for.
This was so interesting- this lady speaks a lot of sense! I think I might like to have a matchmaker!
A "yente" (יענטע) translates from Yiddish to mean, "gossiper." Hence the negativity around the term - the woman who used to try to set people up was the woman who knew what was what with everyone in the community because she was a big gossiper.
I could use a good yenta, lol! Emphasis on “good”…
Not Jewish though so that probably matters, lol.
@@courtneyawalsh you can rent-a-yenta in some cities
Your home is the world.
Whatever happens in yr home affects the world.
It all comes from the 2 people who marry and then
have a family:
Everything depends on how the mother & father
bring up their children: what that means how the Mother
& Father interact between themselves,
the children are watching you, listening to you...
they are learning
from you both, how to become the future mothers &
fathers!
Brilliant insights!!!!!!! And really great understanding of human behaviour and psychology!!!! Just love Aleeza ! and, of course, Andrew!!!
Many arranged marriages are enforced upon females who are not allowed to leave even when abused. So I do not agree with the comment that arranged marriages are fair, look @ the stats now and historically to see how many women can’t divorce or they lose their children, are shunned from their communities, are beaten into submission, who weep on their wedding day, who as teens are married to a man 40+ years older. 👵🏽X👵🏻🇬🇧
I would try it, better than Tinder
probably by far a safer bet than an app like tender, absolutely correct, those apps can be downright scary.
Tider has done massive damage to dating. Apps in general are terrible and lead to people having really skewed views of how attractive they may or may not be.
Appreciate your viewpoint and I really like that you have to be ready to find him.
There is very good point in a matchmaking.Or in having someone who is mediator between two people.If you don't like something or you just can't go further you will not tell in a face to a person what you don't like and explain to him or her what is wrong and offend him.You will tell it in a nice way to a matchmaker and she will explain it in a nice way to other side- person.
And by the way matchmaker can be also some of your friends.Or someone who had a good idea.
Your questions are very insightful and I like that you listen with an open mind, even though you’re coming from a different perspective. The wisdom she shared (and lives by!) is very in line with Torah values. We believe that the same God who created us, also gave us the manual to live by, and thereby have the most meaningful life experiences. These ideas easily apply to all people, not just Jews.
I believe in a soul but i didnt feel like i was more likely to settle long term with a jewish person based on the ones ive met. Im settled with 2 children and ive been with my partner for longer than my mum was married to my dad. I think where matchmaking is most useful is the ultra orthadox community where its essential due to their lifestyle.
Andrew ..you know what it means to be Jewish!! As soon as I saw you, heard you and saw your name, as a London Jew I knew you were Jewish immediately! Your cultural heritage and historical ancestry are the same as mine! That's what makes you Jewish
His surname didn't give it away 🙄
@@shonabeggs4640
To the contrary , Gold is more often than not a contraction of Goldstein , anglicized during the 2nd World war era when antisemitism was becoming stronger worldwide
@@KaroBythell We recognise one immediately.
Jewbu ha ha, If I were Jewish, I would want to marry another Jewish person. It's less hassle. You don't want to be arguing over christenings, schools, first communions, confirmations et cetera. It makes sense, my x was so athiest it was EXHAUASTING, he wouldn't go along with anything just because it was cultural. Drove me mad and it's not like I'm a big believer, but he made a religion out of being Athiest.
I spent over two years @ start of the 80’s in Israel working on two Kibbutzim and when I had to leave suffered severe depression as I wanted to stay forever, unfortunately I was not Jewish and had no chance @ being accepted. Kibbutz + Moshav are just 3% of Israel’s population but their communities as a youngster made me feel the inclusivity + working together the nearest to equality + seemed to work. I am against communism, Marxism, Fascism and what we are experiencing today (equal to the fall of the Roman Empire?)
Jews rarely marry non-Jews which I feel is sad. The Hasidic etc are a different group, religious ideological radicals are certainly not my cup of tea! 👵🏽X👵🏻🇬🇧
I love her show!
Young People, listen to her. Don’t miss your chance to find the true meaning in life of living and loving in a family community. I’m 70 yrs old and have been blessed with this - 8 grandchildren. But I could have easily missed it. It’s worth any sacrifice you may have to make. But marry what i call a “good-willed” person and someone like-minded in your belief system. You can get thru anything if you do. And you will be so glad when you are old that you have this equity.
she is so lovely
My Uncle, who is Catholic, married a Jewish woman and their son observes both Judaism and Christianity. It bothers nobody. Of course, this is in the United States. In Israel, it might raise some eyebrows.
True , marriage is difficult
So having the same religion is a huge huge huge plus in a
marriage
Fun vlog Andrew- Love her! Aleeza you have a great smile. My Ex-husband was 1/4 Jewish. I found that I missed the missing 3/4’s. I divorced him for other reasons……..I could have used a matchmaker! 😅
My Father in law told my Jewish husband if he married me " not jewish"
He'd be disinherited.
My husband didn't go with that we've been together for 36 yrs
A while ago i spoke with a matchmaking agency in London who wanted £15k to find me someone. Absolutely crazy money. If it was more affordable id go for it. Unfortunately the Shul i go to does not have a Sidduch.
She puts the sun into sunny 🌞
She is wonderful and I do agree.
Loooove Aleeza so much! The Netflix series was awesome!
What an interesting woman
Philosopher for sure
Andrew speaking about people accusing him of being a gossip brought to mind a hilarious mental picture of him laying a bed, painting his nails, phone pinned between his shoulder and his ear…😂🤣
She's super knowledgeable, so if nothing else that experience she has must be really valuable to the community. I met my match when I was out dancing for a friend's birthday and he was doing the same. We regularly say the same thing at the same time in the same way and show up to eachother's houses wearing the exact same colors despite not being from the same culture(s) or being born in the same country. I wonder what she'd have to say about matches like that...
I agree with her 100% on everything! Congratulations Andrew!
What a 🤮
If only other peoples were permitted such luxury to be overtly racist you mean?
I do disagree with her statement that everyone should get married. That being said, I love her approach.
I loved this realty show on Netflix and enjoyed Lisa’s personality- I hope if there is another season the guy , I believes he’s in Utah ( he has a son in Israel ) finds a soul mate -
What do you think of extended family members who feel they should be allowed to judge who you choose?
The demonization of gossip actually comes from sexism. In ancient times, people were intimidated by women who knew a lot about the people in their community. Thus, I’m with the host on the idea that “gossiping” is natural, human, and NEEDED. Women often abstain from exposing a creep in the workplace, for example, because they fear being called a gossip or a troublemaker. I hope Aleeza develops more of an open mind regarding the way people communicate, and how ancient sexism can influence how we see certain behaviors. That being said, seems cheerful, fun, and smart!
I think anyone who has seen how harmful false rumors and slander can be is careful about gossip.
I could do with a matchmaker too
When she talks about independence (in her main challenges), she’s referring to women.
It's not about how it can work, but about what to do when it doesn't work. I married Peter because I wanted to build a life with him and giving the children a stable background. On top of that, my parents had a good marriage and I saw how they took over when one of them was sick - that's how it has to be, but nothing in my marriage worked as it should and when I decided that things would only change if I worked on them, the environment started to stop me from doing that. Indeed, things work for thousands of years but not because they are good, but because women can solve problems without making them worse. It's important that people understand the basics of my ground plan and part of that is changing the must into can and the can't into don't have to. We all want a FUNCTIONAL life, being able to cope with our problems and being loved and respected for who we are. This is where the idea of having a 'nobody' beside our body comes in - what kind of person are you when there is no pressure from outside? My basic program is simple, but effective when the tooth looks allright but is rotten inside, and, if we change therapy (connected to the ba or the master) into supporting without bells and pomegranates, we would be much more honest about the situations we create when we don't feel free to do it our own way. Knowing that we don't believe in facts, but in testimonies, I offer the world my life as an example of the things I learned after the 'perfect storm'. Even talking about my intentions has changed the media - yeasterday, I saw a French documentary about an incest case in the north of France and I was oleasantly surprised. The Jewish lifestyle is 100% based on the ba, although they still use the idea of the female line. That can work, when everybody is respecting the rules and get a lecture when they don't, but the human being is an opportunistic creature and even that aspect became clear when I tried to clean up the mess 'in the house'. The 'tripod' skeleton is stable and mobile - nothing is good or bad without a common context and, using my own experiences, it's better to do the job yourself than letting a stranger decide what to change (outside control).
1. ka-ba-la as it should be used (and be careful not to take the ka for the ba and vice versa)
ka = female & spiritual, the Teacher, Source
ba = male & material, the Master, God
la = body & nobody, the Pupil, Ego (as in I and nobody else)
2. TypeSCaPe represents the 5 levels of the process that has an inwards part and and outwards
TPS (inwards) = Trends, Patterns, Strategies (Structures) -> more than 90 % of everything that happens is taking place on this level
SCP (outwards) = System, Cycle, Processing the 'food' -> it's time to do the bigger job and getting out of the oppressed patterns that silence us when thing go wrong
3. The Humane Codex: one possesses for 100% one's own life, but ONLY one's own life. Since the actual juridical system is ba-based, we need a court system that is ka-besed to keep a healthy balance. The *Sanhedrin* is meant to fill that in, but (of course) this word is used for ba-related promises and we forgot the ka when we started to lie, cheat, and fight for things that made our life more comfortable. We still talk like the ka, but walk like the ba and that will never change, unless it hurts us badly on the collective level.
Kies Boom En Ark - is an anagram of Karen Kiebooms, my 'house' is the Ark (Karen Anker) and the tree (boom) is a kaki-boom (the kaki of Nagasaki) ... Everything I do is on the SCP level and to be sure that I wasn't favoring my own 'club', everything I advice can be used by everybody, who needs it to understand his/her personal situation. I am MORE than the daughter of my father, the wife of my spouse, or the mother of my son(s) and my 'nobody' livs longer than my body because my children will remember me for my good lessons and not for my bad behaviour. That isn't too hard to understand, is it, I am just ONE person, living a complex life between my birth and death. Everything in my life prepared me for the JOB and when I'm ready, I have to make place for my next me that has a new mission. I built up a good reputation in my earlier lives and that should be the green card for trusting me on my word of honor, but it's still just one life that can make the difference and my hourglass has to be turned asap.
@@Mimi-uv2nh it's like PREPPING your dinners for the week to come ... on August 9. 2045, a time capsule will be given free on the internet and these kinds of comments (+ the reactions) will be used to explain what REALLY happened in 2011 ... I did my job, knowing that we only had ONE chance to do it right, but people were too concerned with teaching me a lesson and that's why it will be too late to chage the outcome. Is it the end of times or just a new beginning with loads of chances for those, who can at leas understand that everything has moved to the edge. My hourglass has to be turned asap and I already know that this will not be the end of Karen Kiebooms - my nobody (sofie - 356 - Taes) will have her own body and I will have my own corpse Not important yet, but things will shake harder than one expects (this is prepared for ages, don't even think that the idiots will have their victory (and when everybody is into the same mess, people will show their creative power again, not when nobody gives a shit!
Your post was incomprehensible . Sorry , but I tried .
You saw a documentary about a French incest case and were pleasantly surprised? And with no further clarification, I can presume you should never be around children.
Please get off the drugs you are using!
Very interesting Amdrew .
Great channel 👍
Its interesting with her views on the modern individualistic world where people focus on their own goals and then when sorted try to find a mate that meets their individual lifestyle and needs. I don't know anything about Andrew, but he did me think of a journalist trying to get his podcast going, single and working on his career. It was a bit unfortunate that his face was on the screen at the same time as she was talking about individualism. But a good podcast and interview. Perhaps Andrew needs to have podcasts for his relationship stuff and his more serious stuff (Heretics). I think he is better suited to this sort of interview.
I spent 12 years building a beautiful home, and then he left me for his secretary.
hope you can rebuild yourself, he did not deserve you longer ❤
@@hemera73 you know I really cared about him and if he wouldn't of done it in such a shady way I think we could've been friends but I have pretty strong boundaries, so it really became a time of deep inner reflection for me and I'm grateful for it. 💞
Very wise woman