Honestly, even as an American, when I first heard that people were spanking their kids as punishment, I was really shocked because to me, it sounded almost evil 😭
We're sadly outdated as a country and politicians cough general oppression party cough are trying to bring the country BACKWARDS Little tip: use the SILENCE UNKNOWN CALLERS feature built into iOS since iOS 13 to STOP your iPhone from ringing The calls still come to your iPhone BUT your iPhone DOES NOT RING It just shows a notification that a number NOT IN YOUR CONTACTS called BUT YOUR iPhone DOES NOT RING there was supposed to be a EU GDPR STYLE LAW in the US going into effect BUT THE RAGEOHOLIC CHEESEPUFF GOT ELECTED AND THE GENERAL OPPRESSION PARTY CONTROLLED CONGRESS AT THE FUCKIN TIME SCRAPPED IT BEFORE IT COULD TAKE EFFECT
I was raised with corporal punishment. Since it was most often applied with a switch or a belt, I'm guessing it would qualify as flogging in Deutscheland. It had an extremely negative effect on my childhood as it resulted in an extreme loss of respect for my father. I encountered it twice in school, applied with a wooden paddle, which produced a like response to school authorities. Obviously I think y'all are smarter about this.
When I was very young, my Polish grandfather taught me a few phrases. When I proudly repeated these in front of my Czech grandmother, she started dragging me to the bathroom to wash my mouth out with soap. My grandpa intervened and admitted he had put these words into my mouth, and they proceeded to have an argument in Czech/Polish. At they end of it I was spared the soap.
My grandfather didn’t speak English very well and had a habit of peppering it with some of his favorite curses. We didn’t speak much spanish at home but I remember my younger sister learning one of his rude words and repeatedly shouting it VERY loudly as my grandparents argued over her in Spanish 🤣
Yes, all cultures are different but one thing is for sure the whole world needs to respect one another. And that takes a lot of work in this world now and days.
Corporal punishment at school was by far the most shocking for me as an exchange student in Mississippi in the 90s. One day in recess I was talking to a friend (why that was not allowed I also didnt understand) and we were given the choice of writing something as a punishment or some raps on the knuckles (if I remember correctly). I was soooo shocked !! I chose the written assignment obviously. At least we were given a choice 😅
My grandmother told me to get a switch once when I sassed and talked back after being told to stop. She didn’t use it, but getting it was enough to stop the behavior and learn to stop being smart when I’m told.
When I grew up corpal punishment was normal in Germany. Later in life I was surprised when I heard this is forbidden - but as you said: this law is from 2000 ,so long after my childhood.
corpal punishment is still normal in Germany - among migrant families (I know from personal experience, and most migrants will be able to tell you but they'd rather not because its embarassing tbh), and this issue will grow as the number of migrants grows in Germany. People acting surprised about it immediately shows me they have no friends with migrant background in Germany😂
My German father was beaten as a child and then so was I. I was told it’s because my parents didn’t know any better 🙄 I have broken the cycle though; I would never hurt my kids.
There are two factors with the bombardment of advertising after buying and moving into a house: 1) Property records, including deeds, are public and usually available from the county clerk's office (or whatever your state's equivalent is). Many newspapers even publish listings of recent property purchases and sales. 2) When you move, you usually set up mail forwarding with the US Postal Service. There is a nominal fee for this service (around $1, I believe) but the bulk of the cost of the service is subsidized by its MYMOVE affiliate, which promises advertisers exclusive access to people who have recently moved, long before the public records catch up. While data privacy in general is less prioritized in the US than in Europe, Germany is an outlier even within Europe in terms of what information is considered private and the safeguards that are needed to protect it.
Not so much nowadays, methinks. Data protection has been enacted into EU law, so all EU countries must comply with it, and it's a pretty strict law - of course, enforcement may be softer in some countries than others.
My mom was German and my dad grew up in Greece. They raised me and my sister in the US. I was hit on my hands once I think as a kid. I have never hit my kids in any form and they are in their twenties and doing well. I agree that it is not productive in any way. They learn from watching you. They learn that hitting is a way of getting what they want. They don’t learn that what they did was wrong, only to hide it from you.
F i l l ie my little German girl there's something you have to understand America this country with a lot of German determine is English Irish German Dutch an American and Cherokee Indian Creek Indian anyways country and found about the people out of German ancestors in this country we got an extra minute from cultures around the country has many other countries we have people from all over the world live here I just one nation civil Nations live people it's a good things about good things about Germany there's bad things about Charlie there's bad things about America too good things are bad things I can't get to make them mix up your apples and oranges you know cuz I know some Germans there's some Germans are stubborn as mules that I've known and it's also some George was kind of people in the world I do like a German sauerkraut cake I do like a potato salad a German Way I do like the drinking Budweiser beer once in a while or do you drink longer once in a while and drinking beer and I've been a beer festivals different parts of California and there's different parts and it seems like Milwaukee damn beer breweries and Mr Anheuser come from Germany back in 1880s and started his brewery here in the United States Anheuser-Busch did anyways started and started in Missouri Kansas City Missouri anyways whole thing is the whole thing is a lot of things about this country isn't directly related to Germany sausage was made by a German immigrant you know the very first hot dog maybe Germany and also hamburger was also ground hamburger and Germany during the shortage of the shortage of food in Germany and if I brought it over started cutting blinds up and like around the turn of century shirt at the very first one for hot dogs and and yeah way back way back to the Turner century and then other things that that come from Germany Tony and United States run at best engineers in the world like the Germans and somewhere deaths Dutch engineers as well and Scottish engineers come from different parts of them people come here get a better life whole thing is all my life talk to guys from Germany and stuff like that and talk to some guys in Germany come from because it worked up a very motor works in Bavaria and they they made the BMW automobile and BMW motorcycle their motorcycle plan to motorcycle plant toy metal constantly at today met some other guys or convention that came came from Germany and they also made this company made Mercedes I want to talk to the car guys it don't come painting and get some convenience themselves you know German car coming convenience himself even even Porsche and and even old German car company's computer themselves but if they feel the way to work together and stuff on all different kind of work together I can probably come on with technology stuff you ever believe you're great you know technological people in Germany that created people from Germany without a creative people from Germany came here and started things here that most children don't don't believe it's here but actually is here then joint won't throw up more related to German things when people think think we are a different parts of America if you find out this this downtown Pennsylvania is that there's other places even there's even a teenagers make German gold mining settlement in California on his River than a wreck and some Russian and it's Russian gold miners just in my goal for the and what this United States where amalgam of many different countries were more or more like the prototype for un would be in the future cuz we cuz everybody came in for different reasons to try a better life but also a lot of people worship God you can record our lives in United States before God anyway we see finish worship Baptist Methodist president Presbyterian whatever Christian faith religion want to do it. Something else I want to say that this world will be a better place we will pray a lot more that's God's help and also try to try to ask God's help insurance world problems but also has got to get us knowledge service of the problems and correct things are going wrong because that's no logical thing to think because people don't have faith hey this I don't have to wear with all the favorite things on the trailer of the superior to them it's a totally wrong cuz I heard of a story once it was on a it was on a it was on a German is on a submarine world war II American Subway in German submarine they got in the mostGod save the lights from action being kind of destroyed it and I survived that come back don't countries and start a new and created the modern world of day with the help of the United States actually sending money from the Marshall plan. Anyways after that the Cold war became over many many years later that is at the wall came down that the wall is separated Europe separated Eastern Europe and Western Europe things change please change after the wall came down Eastern Eastern West Virginia things changed and things change for the better but Germany needs help for the United States you shouldn't have help from Rush on the first place as United States to send them all natural looking for natural gas he needed but also robots and only radioactive material and robots handling let them let them handle the road radioactive stuff robots do it then I'll do is decontaminate the robots the last people that last internet scientist what they could do with the technology is for military but the robots can be used for for many uses is to change the world a lot of things I can use it for the correct certain problems technology services consulting problems use a property is that a times they have politician again people in government do not ask the right questions and that's the wrong ones sometimes they say they don't know the right question what they ask the personal knowledge if you want to information about science has a scientists engineer that's what's engineering possible but then there any government money to get it completed or done first project second projects to be copy to be asking me industry can actually do it myself that I said adorable family and learn Bible and a little boy so that is a long time I would even scientific mechanics also a red eye engineering man all the stuff like that even electronic stuff anyways and also speak over to German too anyways I hope that you understand. Fille from Germany hope you understand that this country United States is a great country I know you live here for quite a few years you spend time on college of living Ohio and brothers live in Ohio and others German people living in Ohio that you don't know nothing about but any I got to say Donna vetta
Feli, You didn't mention Social Security numbers. For example, just about every medical professional requests your Social Security # . Most people don't know that you're NOT required to provide that information. Just leave it blank. They can't make you do it.
up until 2009 i was required by the college i was attending to use my soc as a student id. and yes, they catastrophically compromised it on 2 occasions. after both times we were then required to endure a rather snarky data security website. every time i had to do one of their snarky exercises i kept thinking angrily to myself "well it wasnt i who compromised my data now was it!"
@@bgrimlan Up until about 1990, any time I went in to a company to interview for a job, I was expected to bring my Social Security card to verify that I was eligible for employment. That seems to have stopped around the time that the Internet became ubiquitous, around 1995-96. I suppose this meant that you could simply tell the employer your number, and they could log into the Social Security Administration's employer website and confirm your eligibility. It was only after that time that I discovered that the Social Security Administration has a cap on the number of replacement cards you may get: Only five in your entire lifetime(!). Since those of us who'd carried our SSCs around in our wallets for decades had the paper cards falling apart, this was an alarming discovery.
@@FelifromGermany also when I was in the United States Air Force in the late 1980’s we used our social security number as our serial number. So everything we did or possessed in the military was labeled with our SSN. To this day I can cite my SSN from memory instantly.
Dear Feli, I really like you and your perspective on both US and German culture! I'm actually from your parent's generation and I had a long-term, long-range relationship with a woman from Munich whom I loved very much back in the day. Anyway, I was physically disciplined by my parents and by the nuns who taught me in Elementary School. I did not appreciate it then - and I do not believe it promotes wellbeing in a society. My father was raised by German parents and they were very much of the "Spare the rod, spoil the child" philosophy. I believe that was part of the Prussian mentality, which also led to the German disposition of being 'obedient to authority.' Anyway, my German friends seem to be much better adjusted to life, nowadays, and I was delighted to see how all the German cities have built back better than ever...
German from Baden-Württemberg (southwestern state bordering France and Switzerland): I am in my late twenties and my impression is the same Feli describes in the vid. I never experienced corporal punishment, never witnessed it and never heard of anyone having to endure it. It is not socially acceptable. My parents were not corporally punished in their childhhood by their parents either and my mom told me some years ago when we talked about the topic, that in school the worst in that respect that was still allowed was being hit on the fingers (Like Feli also mentioned).
@@geoffschnoogs6888 I just commented telling my subjective part. And wether that study's findings are true or not 🤷🏼 There is a phrase that probably exists in English, too: "torturing numbers until they plead guilty". I hold with a wisdom that is attributed to Churchill: " I do not trust studies, unless I fudged with them myself." ( The exact wording might be wrong. I know only a translation of it, which I translated back into English.).
As children, me & my sister were spanked. It didn't happen too often. Once spanked for a particular behavior, that behavior wasn't displayed again. The last time we were ever spanked was about 11 or 12. It was never anything harsh or abusive either. That was pretty much the way it was with the rest of the crowd that we grew up with.
That's the point, and only used as last resort. Time outs, taking away privileges, etc... if none of that works, some kids just have to be taught the hard way. You have to explain what they did (probably repeatedly), and what they should do in the future. No instruments.
Dad used the wide side of a yard stick. You can't do any damage because you'll break the stick before you do much more than leave a sting, and it's not easy to get a fast swing due to the air slowing it down, unlike a switch from a tree limb, or a belt. Usually, all he had to do was head for the closet and we got the picture, straightened up, and did whatever it was we were told to do. Honestly, that was rare. Spanking is not always abuse.
I would be honestly interested in where you draw the line to abuse. Because there might be people saying that one swat is already abuse, or on the opposite that using some implements is not abuse if you explain it properly. So when is it spanking and when is it abuse?
@@kaph123 If you leave bruises or draw blood, knock the person down, or cause them to lose consciousnesses, or break bones, it is definitely abuse. If it is a strike to the face or upper part of the body, it is abuse. If it is a strike to the glutimus maximus, or the rear of the thighs that simply stings and is about as red as a mild sunburn, it is not abuse IMO. I was spanked with the open hand palms, 2 inch wide leather belts (usually doubled- which makes more noise, but actually is less painful), fly swatters, and a few times with 'switches' (the woody stems of some plants usually less than 1/8 inch diameter). I have NEVER been slapped, nor had my knuckles "rapped" or had a ruler applied to my palms as others have mentioned. I actually witnesses 1 guy, who got WAY out of line in 6th grade (he was about 14 at the time, the rest of the class was about 12) spanked with a wooden paddle by the teacher -which I considered justified. I witnessed in 7th grade a 17 yo student swing a punch at a male art teacher, who returned the punch and knocked him down. Student was kicked out of school permanently.
I agree with this stuff wholeheartedly, even as someone who has lived in the midwest US their entire life. Have some friends who just became parents and they immediately bought into the whole "I MUST share every waking moment of my child's life on Instagram."
I am an American but I was raised in Germany. My father was American and my mother was German. I lived in Hanau from 72 to 96. I had culture shock when I moved to the states. I was lucky that there were a lot of veterans around to help me adjust.
Growing up in a rather rural part of Bavaria in a lower class family in the 90s I only learnt 20 years later that apparently spanking on the butt or even slaps on the head were not a proper way of parenting. Even now when I go back there it seems that it is still something that's at least not uncommon there sadly. So I'd say in Germany it also depends a lot on the area and the socio-economic status you grew up in wether corporal punishment is considered normal or not. I even had two teachers in elementary school who hit kids with their pointer sticks (late 90s) for punishment and no one ever called them out on it let alone involved authorities .
Could it be that we experienced the same thing? :) But my point would be that I kind of knew that spanking isn't a proper parenting method... Maybe for myself I was sick of being punished like that
The headmaster at my school seemed to take too much pleasure in it - but one time I recall a choice between hand and bottom. I chose the hand. I knew it would hurt more but recover quicker. We had behaved very badly and we didn't do it again.
That is more or less the same thing in the U.S. It is still legal, true. But some children of certain socioeconomic backgrounds are spanked more often than children in other socioeconomic backgrounds. It also has very much to do with the region of the country. Race and religion are other factors in parenting styles.
I live in Illinois when you purchase a house it’s a matter of public record. Public records are … well public, and can only be restricted in very special circumstances. That’s more than likely how all those businesses knew that you just purchased a house.
When you buy a house it's recorded with the County assessors office and automatically becomes public records, which can be accessed by anyone. Hence all the junk mail, and offers of credit. If I applied for every credit card I was offered, I'd have over 10k cards.
When you put your life online, you put your life on the line. Your life may depend, literally, on social media online security, and we all know how well social media companies safeguard that. Their financial success depends on their circulating it as far and wide as possible.
Here in Maryland, buying a house is a matter of public record. So when I bought my house I got all sorts of catalogs for furniture, repairs, remodeling and so on. One catalog was for really high end furniture and I was left thinking, "How much money do they think I have?" I suspect advertisers regularly check housing sales. Anyway, if you want to see who bought a house and for how much, you can just look it up here.
You rock!! I'm 56, my parents both recently died. There was only ever a threat of spanking, never happened. They were super progressive and awesome. My older brother was born in Germany while my dad was in the army. My visit to Germany and Austria was amazing and life changing!(Recycle!!!)
My parents in India had a similar idea. My father never ever punished us or even threatened. My mother was the one to keep us in line but as I grew a bit older she said " threatning works but hitting spoils" because once hit the child learns to tolerate and maybe build a resentment. I myself have the same personality as my mother, I didn't hit my children except a couple of slaps when my little one got out of hand but they generally listened. As I like myself free and independent so I allowed my kids to have it too.
13:35 This is because the insurance companies factor in all sorts of variables when calculating your rates. You driving record, address, age, health status, and a bunch more. Your rates can vary a lot depending on any of these factors.
Corporal punishment was used in my family growing up and I use it with my kids too. I had amazing parents. They showed me that if you use corporal punishment as a way to correct bad behavior, and make sure that your kids know that you love them very much then your kids grow up with the understanding of why you used corporal punishment. It becomes another tool in a sparsely stocked tool box. I was one of eight kids and all of us ended up good, responsible, productive members of society. Corporal punishment definitely contributed to us growing up right. One of the hardest things as a parent is teaching good and bad behavior. As for data sharing, it is way out of control in the U.S. It also supports both the data sharing industry as well as the data protection industry. The data sharing is hard to regulate in the U.S. though because of the rights and freedoms we have.
@@CathyS_Bx No, they loved me and showed me right from wrong. They taught me that bad behavior is punishment and pain. Love is teaching your kids how to make good choices. Like never responding to someone with hate or malice.
Honestly, I wish my countrymen would take the topic of information security more seriously. I believe Germans have the right of this, specifically for the reason you mention, because they have experienced what horrors can happen when information falls into the wrong hands. Oftentimes you'll even be ridiculed for taking these things seriously in the US and that is especially aggravating.
@@hgill257 True, maybe less. Honestly I keep 4 phones and only one with call/text service and I rarely use it, 99% of people I need to talk to I can do online.
I agree completely, but I do like the idea of local businesses sending out a welcome thing to new homeowners. It would help the homeowner learn of what's available nearby.
About privacy (sort of on topic?) I am amazed how casual people are in Germany about inquiring about your age. At a team meeting the entire staff had to line up in a line based on age, which was more humiliating the closer you were to either end of that line. And recently at a Fortbildung they asked the class to line up by age. WTH? Why is this important? Yesterday I had an Einsatz and was telling my husband about the nice girl I worked with all day. He asked how old she was. I said, "I wouldn't ask, that would be rude." Apparently in Germany it's fine to ask people exactly how old they are - people you just met? At another Fortbildung last week there was a sign-in sheet where we had to write our names, our driver's license class, our training level, and our age. I left all that blank, just giving my name.
In Germany its not rude to ask your age. It is something very normal and nobody is ashamed of age, because you don't need to feel shame for this! What is wrong with asking age? I don't understand what Americans find rude about it
Not sure if it was mentioned elsewhere in the comments. While corporal punishment may be allowed in those states, a vast majority of the school districts forbid it being implemented. As a kid I had my mouth washed out with soap and had some very severe spankings with a belt, etc. With my kids we never did that stuff. There was probably an occasional pat on the rear, though never very hard. Agree with you on the personal security issues.
Corporal punishment: that’s funny because my dad was a German immigrant and he used to beat the shit out of me. I’m honestly surprised that it’s illegal in Germany.
Yeah, my father didn't, but his German-born mom emotionally abused him -locked him in a closet, etc. She'd been abused in Germany, herself, and had mental issue into old age and alcoholism because of it. I always assumed Germany was worse/the US more permissive.
My German father did spank me as a child but it was more like a klap on der po but as a teen that changed. The more I didn't react the more severe it got. Surprise when I was 17 I rebelled and fought back. PS he never touched me again. A lovely adolescence
In my family we share photos of our families and experiences as this is how we keep in touch, we are spread out around the country and don't get to see each other in person as much as we would like
What baffled me the most about the whole data protection topic is that we Germans might be very cautious about sharing our data with third parties but happily put our full name next to our doorbell for any stalker to easily find out where we live. While other countries might be less uptight about sharing their data online, you would never find someone’s name not even their surname next to a doorbell or letter box (esp. UK)
Italian here. On data protection, we are not as badly off as the USA, but not as protected as Germany either - spam calls are an everyday occurrence, unfortunately, and very much annoying, both on landlines and cell phones. Don't get me even started on spam e-mail you never consented to -.- Corporal punishment it's still viewed as proper and justified in my country. I can only say I grew up with it and I vowed never to hit a child, no matter the circumstances, and I'm sticking to it. The more I age the more I'm convinced it only teaches to fear a parent or guardian, and nothing else. And parents get used to getting their own way and vent frustration with that method even when the child is in his teens and beyond. Once you get comfortable with threats and prevarication, it carries on even when it changes form. It's harmful on both sides. No thank you, not me, ever.
Feli, so much has changed since my family was stationed in Ramstein nearly fifty-seven years ago! I did expect some change to take place over more than 56 years; however, changes like reunification of east and we Germany, the establishment of the EU, and one-currency throughout the twenty-eight (or twenty-seven) countries is nothing less than breathtaking!
Yeah, corporal punishment was definitely a thing for me growing up. I'll just say that my fam used much harsher methods than a wooden spoon and leave it at that. That said, I'm glad to know that Germans feel the same way I do about online privacy. Even having grown up with the internet in the US, I feel extremely uncomfortable knowing that my information gets passed around like candy. As for your videos, I prefer longer-form content to keep me company. Anything to keep me from having to touch the mouse while I work on other things. So in my case, feel free to cram as much content into a single video as you like!
16:19 This is a Common misconception here in Germany. You are allowed to take pictures of whomever you want in private (ofc. Not in their homes or during FKK etc.) But people just standing around or walking across the street is fine. You are just not allowed to share those pictures with anyone without their consent
American here. In middle school in the 80s, the principal had a wooden paddle in his office that he also made kids sign after he spanked them. I never got hit, and I found him to be a nice guy when I was sent to his office for a stupid dispute with a teacher and he just told me to sit down and wait out the period because he knew the teacher was unreasonable at times and he told me to take the rest of the period off to let the teacher cool down. but despite this kindness, he had a reputation of being quick with the paddle around the school.
I attended American schools in the 1970's. In elementary school, a teacher would sometimes grab a kid by the wrist and jerk him out of his desk and smack him on the bottom with her hand right there in front of the entire class, but that was pretty rare. If that happened to a kid, the other kids afterwards would tease him about how far he pushed the teacher. In junior high school, every teacher had a wooden paddle prominently displayed on the front wall of the classroom, and they used them frequently, but the teacher would take the kid out of the classroom into the hallway so we couldn't see. There were paddlings every day. Most of the time, the boys who got paddled purposely provoked it. Afterwards, out of earshot of the teacher, they would brag about how it didn't hurt (they were lying) and their buddies would congratulate them for the entire scene. It was a streak of irrational rebelliousness I never understood. I never got smacked or paddled in school because I had some common sense and knew how to behave myself. There was no paddling in my high school.
The thing about slapping your child is so true! My mom is from East Germany, I was born in Munich, so I know both "ideas" about corporal punishment. I was a spawn from hell as a child, pushing the borders of my mom. She hit me 2x in my intire life (24yrs) and violantly wept afterwards because she was sooooo sorry! As my Mama always says: "If you got no better way in an argument with a toddler/child than hitting it, don't have children" which is pretty cool.
My wife's mother came from ww2 numberg and raised her children very hash. As to my mom's sister married a ww1 man they raised their kids with hash beating. I grew up with german immgrants. They all were harsh. But I'm from the passed. My wife hated beating she would love and hugs our children.when they were bad.
And this is why your kids will be out of control most of the time. spare the rod, spoil the child. THEY NEED TO BE TAUGHT SELF CONTROL FROM AN EARLY AGE OR THEY WILL BE OUT OF CONTROL ALL THEIR LIVES. WAKE UP!!
@@howbouthat5479 Get a therapist and get a clue!! Children deserve understanding, patience, and respect. Offering those things makes stronger, healthier human adults.
My mother was on welfare in Germany. When her fiance was in the hospital with a heart attack the social amt visited her when she lived in Hessen. She was asked why she had not reported that he was not living with her. He had been in the hospital for 5 weeks at that time. They also told her she was calling her kids in the states to much and that she was writing to to many pen pals. They took money away from her cause her fiance was in the hospital. There is no privacy when you are on welfare. You can not have a burial policy either. You are supposed to be buried in a paupers grave. Luckily my Aunt had a policy on her and my dad had a small one on her even though they were divorced. Social amt is not nice to the elderly.
My children were raised "hands off". However, hockey rules were applied. A whistle blown, the observed infraction announced, and the youthful offender sent to the "penalty box". IT WORKED!
I'm Asian, so corporal punishment was a thing in my childhood. I wouldn't say that smacking a kid is first or even second in my list of behavioral deterrents, but if I see something like my little brother trying to stick our baby sisters finger into an electrical socket, you can bet I'm going to snatch him up, scream my head off at him and make sure he can't sit comfortably for at least a week.
Being an American history buff and speaking of the past particularly. It’s been my experience that historically German American families generally had stricter family discipline for their children than other American families generations prior to ours. One of the stories I tell as a farm tour guide on a German immigrant family farm in my area is when mother rang the dinner bell everyone stopped what they were doing to eat together or you didn’t eat. No eating in shifts as would sometimes happen if too busy to stop work which was common in other farm families in the area. It also seemed a difference on how strict it seemed German American parents were on acceptable suitors for their children. My Scots Irish Heritage I’ve found sons and daughters married generally younger while my German Heritage the sons were generally established in their professions before they married and daughters relied on parental approval more often it seemed and sometimes had to go as far as elope if parents disapproved. Boy how things have changed!
How I handle spam snail mail - if the un requested intrusion includes a pre paid postage envelope - I seal it and drop it in the mail with nothing inside. I hope it drives them crazy! More videos like this please, either one or two subjects per presentation or a longer list depending on how "in depth" you feel the need to cover the subject.
Historically, washing a child's mouth with soap is something that came over with settlers from Britain, where it was common. During the Wild West years, it was commonly used by teachers and nuns (often one and the same). Thus, everyone was familiar with the practice. My Grandma washed my Mom and her sister's mouths out with soap. That would have been maybe in the 60's. I haven't heard of it being used since then, at least among people I've encountered.
Not exactly the worst thing but the important lesson is that actions have consequences. The current "touchy-feely" attitude isn't teaching that any more.
I was born in 92 and I had to wash my mouth with soap once when I was about 10 for calling someone a bastard lol it wasn’t bar soap though my step mom put hand soap on my toothbrush and made me brush my teeth with it. Nasty but didn’t stop me from saying anything
@@hairyairey Oh, yeah. Put a little child on your lap, wallop the crap out of him because he slapped his brother, while loudly proclaiming "This will teach you never to hit anyone smaller than you!" (I stole that.)
Far more frightening than parents spanking an unruly child is the realization that any government has the power to dictate whether a parent can discipline their own child.
I completely feel you about the corporal punishment. In my parents’ case it was always a last resort, and I can only recall a handful of times where I got spanked. To be fair to my parents I was always a bit out of control when it happened. However, what I wanted to share was that after becoming a parent myself I’ve learned that there are times that we all loose control. I have never hit my kids but there were times I wanted to. While corporal punishment is not something I agree with I also think that emotional scarring happened with verbal abuse and by inflicting pressure on kids as well. I see it all too often unfortunately. Appreciate you bringing up these differences. Not sure I realized the disparity before.
My wife and I are pre- baby boomers, yes, alive during WW2. Our parents never beat us, but on rare occasions gave us a whack on the behind. We carried this forward to a small degree, mostly as a result of a child doing something extremely dangerous, and we were reacting to fear. Punishment from anger, however is a losing proposition. It seems that we were appreciated enough by our children for them to come from afar to visit us and bring the grandchildren. Point number two....We are wary of internet stuff that comes our way. We find it best to initiate what we are going to see, and if there are too many questions, we bail. We have lived our lives well before the internet and know how to get along without it if we decide to.
What is revolting about data sharing is that people you trust are the biggest brokers of data. These include your doctor's office, dentist, therapist, hospital, banker, insurance agent, drugstore/pharmacy, grocery store, barber/hair stylist, and even a funeral home after a family death. In North Carolina, the Department of Motor Vehicles (state government) sold a woman's address to her ex-husband who promptly tracked her down and murdered her. They earned a meagre $11 million a year selling auto registration data including addresses. Have they no limits, no shame? I had a cardiac stay at my hospital and within a week I got mail about heart drugs and therapies. I had no even gotten a prescription yet so it had to be my doctor or the hospital. I asked the hospital and they admitted "we have partner affiliations that benefit our patients". Really?
Welkommen to the brave new world where your medical data amongst all the rest is known to the deep pockets whom monetize it for yet deeper pockets...and eventually control.
You are right, Larry. Information sharing in medicine (and by banks, the feds, etc.) is a HUGE problem. I have had my password stolen by hackers; I am pretty sure it was a due to hack into the J. P. Morgan Chase bank database. Everyone (businesses) is going crazy about everything going "online" and it is a BAD idea!
child of the 70s here. We were soaped, spanked, spooned, and belted. I can honestly say that all this time later, I can't recall a specific incident of corporal punishment that stands out as being traumatic. That's not to say our childhood wasn't traumatic, it was extremely traumatic. Most of the trauma my brother and I feel stem either from a) getting screamed at, b) witnessing events such as furniture throwing, glass breaking and especially c) watching our parents hit each other.
Feli, about taking pictures of strangers: In Germany, it's allowed to make photos in a public space, and people who are not the main focus of the picture can't even hinder you from publishing any pictures they're in. Look up the word "Beiwerk" and "Recht am eigenen Bild". A good rule of thumb is: If the overall impression of the picture is not changed by the presence or lack of a given person, you're free to take the picture and use it as you see fit.
I never got a spanking I didn't deserve. Maybe once a year until I was too old to spank (around 11 or 12) I can't say I look back and think it was wrong. I think my parents were judicious, but obviously if you have not-so-great parents, then ya, it can turn into child abuse. After 11 y.o. my dad implemented the "attitude adjustment"... which was a swift kick to the rear-end. Or once, when I was 16 and inducing panic from my younger sister by threatening to run over her bicycle with a lawn mower, I got a nice punch in the shoulder. "Justice" was short, sweet, and to the point.
No you didn't deserve it. Violence against a child in any shape or form is never acceptable. Every child has the right of an upbringing without violence.
@@garyschwab8802 there are much better ways to teach children how to behave. Would you spank an adult for their behaviour? No, you would talk to them. No human being deserves violence.
I really like your videos and I continue to be impressed by your native fluency in English. Your presentation is also very bubbly and positive. I lived and worked in Erlangen, Aschaffenburg and Darmstadt and never got beyond the basics in German. But, I loved the people, culture and food, especially in Bavaria. Keep the videos coming.
The stat about corporal punishment shocked me as an American. I know in the south it is still common, which is reflected a bit on the legality of the practice in schools in those states, but beyond that I’ve not met hardly anyone that was spanked as a child or would spank their own child today. I’m very curious.
To clarify, Corporal punishment here in America does not happen in schools anymore (i.e. sticks belts or a hand) At home it does happen though but schools will call child services if they see any signs of marks or bruises on kids now. Its less common for parents to use hard punishments like tree branches paddles because school will intervein but the hand & belt is still very common.
As an American living in Germany, I feel like a lot of children are undisciplined. I do not agree with spanking or hitting with an object, but I feel like I hardly see these children corrected in public. Again, this is just from what I see and it might stand out to me because of how strict my childhood was.
This is a general problem in germany at the moment in my opinion. But it has nothing to do with corporal punishment but more with the surroundings the children grow up and that more and more parents think it is the job of schools and daycares to teach the children the right behaviour instead of caring themselves.
@@SilvaLuna That's an interesting theory, that little hellians run around throwing tantrums and beating people up, and somehow that doesn't bleed into home life.... when a child's actions begin in the home.... I'm not saying beat them til they're black and blue, but I will say that when I went to the Philippines every child came up to me and put my hand on their forehead as a sign of respect. If they misbehave, they are dealt with pretty harshly. It teaches them obedience, respect, honor, politeness, and it actually brings a familial bond that can never be taken away. They always remember that no matter what their parents will bring them back. Spanking hurts, temporarily... a whole lot better than allowing the kind of disrespect and attitude that an undisciplined youth is capable of. Many kids in the inner city here in the states join a gang and make their first robbery or murder before they are 15 years old. To me, spanking your child is rather modest when compared to what they face outside the home. Personally, I'm grateful my father took the belt out a few times.. it's a correction that children need sometimes.
In America, your name and address is public information easily accessible by anyone in the world on your county's auditors website. On it is all the information about your house: your full name, your address, the plot or property registration number, square footage of the house, whether you have forced air or boiler heating, any additions or remodeling you've done, the size of your driveway, when it was all built, and your property tax fees. Including when you've last paid them, and how much you owe.
When I was a kid, my mom entered everyone in the family into a contest including our German Shepard, Heidi. Soon afterward Heidi started receiving junk mail.
re corporal punishment: One of the most effective teaching techniques is modeling: demonstrating the behavior you are teaching. Corporal punishment is teaching the subject to respond to unwanted behavior with violence. Once the child is strong enough, the child's nitial violent response to you is likely to continue until the decades of rage is spent. Corporal punishment may be the cause of most of the violence in the US. When you spank, you are teaching criminal violence.
This is not a "PDFMA" (Pulled Directly From My A**) statement. Ask Anyone Else who has a Bachelor's (4 Y) degree or greater in Psychology, and they will confirm. There is copious research that confirms this, as well as the potency of modeling as a teaching tool, particularly in childhood. When you spank or beat your child, you are personally partly responsible for their later domestic violence, assaults, or murders.
Feli, I grew up in Florida, my dad was from north carolina and my mom from Texas. Yes, we did have corporal punishment in our home. I would get slapped or spanked because I had a habit of talking back to mom. In retrospect now, I deserved it. I wish I had never done it. But yes, it did happen in our home. My dad was somewhat of a genius when it came to math. He didn't understand why we didn't understand math at all. He said math was a language. When I asked him to help me with my math, he got angry with me because I didn't understand something and spanked me right then. We were always getting spanked either with a hand or the belt. My mom usually did the disciplining in our house. My dad worked graveyard shift at Florida Power and Light, 12-7 and he got called in when we had storms. He was a dispatcher with them. We had to be quiet when my dad was sleeping during the daytime. If we woke him up, we got a spanking for that. My dad worked hard and worked many double shifts to provide for us and pay the bills.
I have a question for you, Feli, are people in Germany car enthusiasts like in the US? Do people own and fix up old cars, restore them? Hang out and work on them? I spend a lot of time working on my cars. I enjoy working with my hands, too.
My brother and I were spanked when we were naughty (back in the 1960s), and it didn't seem to do us any harm. There is a difference between a smack on the rump, and abuse. It is true that spanking is dying out in the US; but it also seems that children are much less well-behaved as well.
Better read about the tones of research about spanking and child development. You probably spanked your kids and now they are not equipped to discepline their kids. And disceplining does not equal hitting them. You should think about why they don’t want to spank them. Probably because they experienced it as kids. I would not leave my kids at your place if you where my parent
I think parents today have stopped teaching their kids now, so they grow up without manners or class, compared to decades ago when parents would be the role model for their kids to follow, things have changed a lot
No discipline so No consequences now a days. Kids do whatever they want even if it’s violence against others. They grow up and as adults thinking they are invincible and hurting others is okay to do.
I honestly like the privacy thing here in Germany, I was also not allowed to share any pictures or my last name (mainly as my last name is very uncommon though) when I was younger, I wasn't even allowed to have a profile picture of myself on Facebook until I was 14 or so. In Germany it is also common to ask everyone in the friendship group e.g. if it's okay if you share a picture with them on Instagram. What shocks me the most is that many Americans share photos of their kids on public accounts because here in Germany even many influencers keep their kids out of social media and don't share their faces or even names.
I do not share photos on social media of any person, nor my personal info. Perhaps this is from my fathers German family heritage and culture.. I feel generally more comfortable socially when in Germany than I do in my native USA
I love to watch your channel! Your perspective of things we often take for granted as Americans is very refreshing. Simple things like closets in the bedroom and turning on red, it makes me appreciate things here so much more. And don't ever feel bad about being a bit critical at times, if anything it only makes you fit in even more. Also, my best friend and I want to visit Germany now. 💖 🇩🇪
It’s interesting that Germany has outlawed corporal punishment. My German grandmother remembered to her old age her punishment from her father. I didn’t use it but I can see why a parent would if modest. Kids can become out of control.
The right to one's own image does not apply if persons appear only as an accessory next to a landscape or other location. This refers to cases in which a street scene or a landscape is captured in pictures and persons are photographed who happen to be present.
I can count on one hand the amount of times I was spanked (with an open hand). My parents also took the time to explain why what I did was not acceptable. I think communication is key and don’t plan to spank my kids if/when I have them. Also, please turn this into a series! I love learning the difference and similarities between cultures!
For young folks in USA, I think it is more important to be popular on social media, than to be concerned about privacy. I, personally, try to minimize how much personal data I give out due to the huge problem of identity theft in USA and to the massive number of telemarketers calling here. But, there are many things you cannot do unless you are willing to sacrifice your privacy. Internet sites require sometimes your name, address, phone number and email address. Grocery and other stores will give you a discount card to track you only if you give them your information. To activate a cell phone you need to provide information. There are no government rules to prevent a company which you trusted with your data from going bankrupt or being sold to an unreputable company which you do not trust and your data being transferred to the new company. So, even Americans who want privacy, find it difficult to maintain their privacy.
Es ist super einfach zu sagen, ich würde nie .... , wenn man noch keine eigenen Kinder hat oder noch nie mit "Problemkinder bzw. jugendlichen" gearbeitet hat. It's super easy to say I would never ...... if you don't have children of your own yet or have never worked with "problem children or adolescents".
Es gibt genug Eltern mit problemkindern die es schaffen ihre kinder nicht körperlich zu bestrafen. Wenn man das nicht schafft seis wegen der eigenen persönlichkeit der des kindes oder irgendwelchen anderen Umständen muss man sich verdammt nochmal Hilfe holen und nicht den frust und die hilflosigkeit am kind rauslassen. Man muss als eltern nicht perfekt sein, aber es gibt einfach keine Entschuldigung dafür sein kind zu schlagen.
A friend of mine from Nigeria was told by his grandmother back home that he should never put his hands in his pockets in America. Based on her knowledge of American movies, if you had your hands in your pockets, someone would think you are hiding a gun and shoot you down in the street western cowboy style. The first time he was walking in a busy street, many people had their hands in their pockets and he moved away to avoid them. He laughs now at that silly idea.
When I was in high school some 20 years ago, it was common to see people write their Social Security number on a plaque with their names if they were hauling something without a license plate. Our Social Security numbers were on our ID’s and my friends in the military had their Social Security Numbers stenciled on their bags and such. I admit that it wasn’t the safest to do that, but I do miss people feeling safe enough to do that.
My 2¢ on your question re: single topic or the whole list in one video? Hi Feli, My opinion is that either on is fine. Only try to keep any video less than 10-12 minutes. I'm a grandpa, but I SO love your videos! You are super cute and always have a positive and friendly attitude. Your style is fun and enthusiastic. Your facial expressions are priceless! Your eyebrows say it all! How do you do that?! Your youthfulness and exuberance always lift my spirits... And you are an incredible content writer and reader! I feel like you are a good friend and I love spending time listening to your stories! Oh, and your exceptionally clear and crisp enunciation along with your incredible understanding of both languages and cultures provides awesome credibility to all you share! So much fun to watch you! Thank you! A loyal follower... Phil (aka, "Pop")
Maybe corporal punishment is the cost of our overall more open and friendlier and informal society relative to Germany. Kids in the U.S. might feel they can get away with more because of the more friendly environment, so something must be done to maintain discipline. i don't mean to justify corporal punishment, just explain it. This also relates with the data sharing issue: the U.S. is just more open.
I'm 65 and I experienced corporal punishment in school and at home. Although I have to say that all it ever really did was made me mad. I raised four great kids and I never used corporal punishment on them ever.
You're adorable. Thanks for the content. Also, I'm listening to this video on my Raycon Everyday ear buds. Just click the link and buy them. They aren't super noise cancelling but the charging, sound and value is unparalleled.
I definitely got spanked as a kid, and my recollection is that it had no effect on the behavior that caused the spanking. Much of what I remember had to do with me getting spanked for not doing my schoolwork, and the fact is that I always did very little of my schoolwork. (As a side note, as an adult, I find that all that schoolwork had nothing to do with my adult work or my activities as a citizen. It was mostly just drudgery.) And I heard the phrase "wash your mouth out with soap" often, but never actually knew of anyone that had this particular punishment. I think that forcing a child to put something distasteful in its mouth is a form of child endangerment. There could be toxins or other nasty chemicals in the soap, things that are okay on the skin but should not be ingested. I'm not sure which of Feli's acquaintances confirmed getting soap in their mouths, but it has to be a tiny percentage of the population. I can't believe this is common. (I'm from the US -- grew up in upstate NY.)
@@hairyairey Ahh... but kissing someone is a reward. Getting a piece of soap in your mouth is a punishment. My experience is that rewards are much better motivators than punishments.
@@bobkovacs2206 I'd say if soap in your mouth was a punishment then you've lived a charmed life. Your original comment claimed that it was bad for you. There are far more germs exchanged by kissing and even more with shaking hands! Soap is just an oil. So on one level no-one showers themself clean, they just have an oil change (this incidentally also explains the question that stumps people that wonder why they have to wash their towels if they are clean when they use them!)
@@hairyairey Isn't it obvious that taking something into your mouth that is not intended to be eaten is potentially hazardous? Soap is WAY more than just oil -- it is made with lye, and most soaps have perfumes. None of that is intended to be ingested. And we weren't talking about germs -- we were talking about ingesting foreign substances. To my knowledge, I have never gotten sick from kissing or shaking hands, and I've done both quite a few times in my life. I'm not saying it *can't* happen. Just that it is not even close to the same thing as taking something into your mouth that will shed chemicals and is not intended to be ingested.
@@bobkovacs2206 "To my knowledge" - well that's just an admission that you have no idea how your immune system works. The human body is very good at coping with poisons. In fact a lot won't survive your stomach acid. Bacteria on the other hand are much more of a problem. Viruses more so. The biggest killers aren't poisons they are viruses.
I completely understand the need for privacy and I don’t like how my information is bought and sold to different marketing agencies. On that note, since I’m looking for a new job in addition to my current part time job, I do answer every phone call. Sometimes I get a call from a scammer trying to sell me a car warranty and I do mess with them and waste their time; it’s amusing.
Spanking by parents is still a thing, although way less common than I was a kid (I'm 36), it wasn't been a thing in schools since my parents were kids. We live Texas, one of the states in your map that says schools still do this. Or at least suggest it. I suppose it's possible that it is legal, but no school has practiced it since my parents were kids. I can't imagine any school in the US doing it today. Even the most pro spanking parent would turn into a momma bear if she found out her kid was spank by school staff.
Feli, as a non-insensitive American, I don’t blame you for being taken aback by these things you mention in this and the previous video. Despite having lived here my entire life, these are things which, if I was aware of them, I have certainly been uncomfortable with and have done what most of us do: avoided these subjects and others like them. If I didn’t love my country as much as I do, I would have left it a long time ago for these and other reasons. I may have been unaware of how the drug problem in the U.S. compares with it in other parts of the world, but it saddens me deeply. Grocery prices, I’m afraid, are only going to get worse. Corporal punishment of children? A few light spanks on the backside is as far as it should go IMO. Anything beyond that does more harm than good. My view on this has changed over time. I believe that bravery is a virtue that any country needs its children to develop. That the fullness of human character and happiness is not within reach without it and that there’s a direct correlation between its development and other virtues like respect for other people and their property. Sadly, some kids don’t listen and only respect a tougher approach. So there are some crimes, like theft for example, which need to be answered with some kind of temporary physical discomfort, if not outright corporal punishment, in order to communicate its gravity to such kids. Virtue is much harder to instill into adults than children. And for a country, prosperity doesn’t just ‘happen’. Freedom is not an automatic occurrence. There’s a direct connection between these natural elements of happiness and the development of virtue, which itself can only be acquired in most cases through commitment and effort against the current of human nature. In any case, we welcome you to America!
LOL. Spanking. I come from the southern United States and I was spanked by my parents, teachers and coaches all the way through high school. How do I feel about it? Idk. It was just the way we lived in the mid- and late- 20th Century America - kids who did bad things and had to learn got spanked.
Also, don’t worry at all about any haters. I and, I’d imagine the overwhelming majority of Americans, would love for you to be a fellow American because that’s one of the beautiful things about America! I look forward to you becoming a fellow citizen if you choose to. 🙂
What is your form of consequence for bad behavior? I was at a restaurant with my mom and sister and I acted up my mom told me if I didn't settle down she would spank me in front of everybody. I continued and my mom grabbed my alarm to spank me on my butt in front of everyone, I settled down after that.
Well first you should know that your personal experience in a very circumstantial situation i s totally irrelevant,that like testing a medicine on yourself and deducting it is universal.But if you really want to know what to do in does situation you should generally give your child a certain sensibility so that when you tell him kindly to stop something for is good or for the good of other he would listen and if he does not you can make punitive restrictions instead corporal one.
@@mathyeuxsommet3119 raise your kids as you see fit. Obviously within reason and not with abuse. Don't listen to the internet. Spanking can work. It could also not work depends on the circumstances and the kid
@@FelifromGermany this is as likely not to work just as spanking is but I understand the frustrations. Honestly I would say if your kids act out in public and dont listen then stop taking them out. No more McDonald's becasue remember the last time we went and you were a lttle shit? You need to show them the meaning of respect. They need to want to be respected and also need to know in order to get respect they have to be respectful.
I agree. There comes a time when A LOT of kids don’t respond to the positive reinforcements, and the consequences of time-outs, groundings, or losing of privileges, means nothing to them. Corporal punishment thrown into the mix, is the way to go.
My wife and I never spanked our two children. I don't remember ever being spanked by my parents. I remember feeling that I didn't want to disappointment my parents. I'm pretty sure students in my town can't be physically touched by their teachers. John of Nebraska.
What are YOUR opinions & experiences with these two topics? 🤔
Hi
Honestly, even as an American, when I first heard that people were spanking their kids as punishment, I was really shocked because to me, it sounded almost evil 😭
We're sadly outdated as a country and politicians cough general oppression party cough are trying to bring the country BACKWARDS
Little tip: use the SILENCE UNKNOWN CALLERS feature built into iOS since iOS 13 to STOP your iPhone from ringing
The calls still come to your iPhone BUT your iPhone DOES NOT RING
It just shows a notification that a number NOT IN YOUR CONTACTS called BUT YOUR iPhone DOES NOT RING
there was supposed to be a EU GDPR STYLE LAW in the US going into effect BUT THE RAGEOHOLIC CHEESEPUFF GOT ELECTED AND THE GENERAL OPPRESSION PARTY CONTROLLED CONGRESS AT THE FUCKIN TIME SCRAPPED IT BEFORE IT COULD TAKE EFFECT
I was raised with corporal punishment. Since it was most often applied with a switch or a belt, I'm guessing it would qualify as flogging in Deutscheland. It had an extremely negative effect on my childhood as it resulted in an extreme loss of respect for my father. I encountered it twice in school, applied with a wooden paddle, which produced a like response to school authorities.
Obviously I think y'all are smarter about this.
Like your channel do you know GERMAN was the second language in the United States of America at one time then Spanish became our second language
As a person who was punished with a leather belt as a child often, I can say I have never done the same to my children. The cycle must stop.
Same here. All that did was give me resentment against my mother even now as an adult
You're so right ❤️
I would never use a belt to hit my child, that is crossing the line
As someone who would've been killed prison or an idiot if it wasn't for the belt. I carry it on to my kids. I can't help it yer weak.
@@timesthree5757 a little aggressive are we? Your comment is proof of the bad psychological effects of being beaten with a belt.
When I was very young, my Polish grandfather taught me a few phrases. When I proudly repeated these in front of my Czech grandmother, she started dragging me to the bathroom to wash my mouth out with soap. My grandpa intervened and admitted he had put these words into my mouth, and they proceeded to have an argument in Czech/Polish. At they end of it I was spared the soap.
My grandfather didn’t speak English very well and had a habit of peppering it with some of his favorite curses. We didn’t speak much spanish at home but I remember my younger sister learning one of his rude words and repeatedly shouting it VERY loudly as my grandparents argued over her in Spanish 🤣
Yes, all cultures are different but one thing is for sure the whole world needs to respect one another. And that takes a lot of work in this world now and days.
Corporal punishment at school was by far the most shocking for me as an exchange student in Mississippi in the 90s. One day in recess I was talking to a friend (why that was not allowed I also didnt understand) and we were given the choice of writing something as a punishment or some raps on the knuckles (if I remember correctly). I was soooo shocked !! I chose the written assignment obviously. At least we were given a choice 😅
Not allowed to talk to each other during recess? What is that? A high security prison? Nevermind, this wouldn't even be allowed in prisons.
@tomitiustritus6672 lol if you've been you know it's needed
This has been mostly phased out I think.
My grandmother told me to get a switch once when I sassed and talked back after being told to stop. She didn’t use it, but getting it was enough to stop the behavior and learn to stop being smart when I’m told.
When I grew up corpal punishment was normal in Germany. Later in life I was surprised when I heard this is forbidden - but as you said: this law is from 2000 ,so long after my childhood.
corpal punishment is still normal in Germany - among migrant families (I know from personal experience, and most migrants will be able to tell you but they'd rather not because its embarassing tbh), and this issue will grow as the number of migrants grows in Germany. People acting surprised about it immediately shows me they have no friends with migrant background in Germany😂
My German father was beaten as a child and then so was I. I was told it’s because my parents didn’t know any better 🙄 I have broken the cycle though; I would never hurt my kids.
I also had a rough childhood. I'm sorry you had to endure that. I've broken that cycle too.
So yer children are u disciplined rude little shits?
Their is a difference between a spanking and abuse. Too bad you don't know the difference.
Thank you. Good for you 👏🏻
@@Simon-tc1mc he's raising spoiled brat.
@@timesthree5757 better than a traumatized and broken person
There are two factors with the bombardment of advertising after buying and moving into a house:
1) Property records, including deeds, are public and usually available from the county clerk's office (or whatever your state's equivalent is). Many newspapers even publish listings of recent property purchases and sales.
2) When you move, you usually set up mail forwarding with the US Postal Service. There is a nominal fee for this service (around $1, I believe) but the bulk of the cost of the service is subsidized by its MYMOVE affiliate, which promises advertisers exclusive access to people who have recently moved, long before the public records catch up.
While data privacy in general is less prioritized in the US than in Europe, Germany is an outlier even within Europe in terms of what information is considered private and the safeguards that are needed to protect it.
Not so much nowadays, methinks. Data protection has been enacted into EU law, so all EU countries must comply with it, and it's a pretty strict law - of course, enforcement may be softer in some countries than others.
My mom was German and my dad grew up in Greece. They raised me and my sister in the US. I was hit on my hands once I think as a kid. I have never hit my kids in any form and they are in their twenties and doing well. I agree that it is not productive in any way. They learn from watching you. They learn that hitting is a way of getting what they want. They don’t learn that what they did was wrong, only to hide it from you.
F i l l ie my little German girl there's something you have to understand America this country with a lot of German determine is English Irish German Dutch an American and Cherokee Indian Creek Indian anyways country and found about the people out of German ancestors in this country we got an extra minute from cultures around the country has many other countries we have people from all over the world live here I just one nation civil Nations live people it's a good things about good things about Germany there's bad things about Charlie there's bad things about America too good things are bad things I can't get to make them mix up your apples and oranges you know cuz I know some Germans there's some Germans are stubborn as mules that I've known and it's also some George was kind of people in the world I do like a German sauerkraut cake I do like a potato salad a German Way I do like the drinking Budweiser beer once in a while or do you drink longer once in a while and drinking beer and I've been a beer festivals different parts of California and there's different parts and it seems like Milwaukee damn beer breweries and Mr Anheuser come from Germany back in 1880s and started his brewery here in the United States Anheuser-Busch did anyways started and started in Missouri Kansas City Missouri anyways whole thing is the whole thing is a lot of things about this country isn't directly related to Germany sausage was made by a German immigrant you know the very first hot dog maybe Germany and also hamburger was also ground hamburger and Germany during the shortage of the shortage of food in Germany and if I brought it over started cutting blinds up and like around the turn of century shirt at the very first one for hot dogs and and yeah way back way back to the Turner century and then other things that that come from Germany Tony and United States run at best engineers in the world like the Germans and somewhere deaths Dutch engineers as well and Scottish engineers come from different parts of them people come here get a better life whole thing is all my life talk to guys from Germany and stuff like that and talk to some guys in Germany come from because it worked up a very motor works in Bavaria and they they made the BMW automobile and BMW motorcycle their motorcycle plan to motorcycle plant toy metal constantly at today met some other guys or convention that came came from Germany and they also made this company made Mercedes I want to talk to the car guys it don't come painting and get some convenience themselves you know German car coming convenience himself even even Porsche and and even old German car company's computer themselves but if they feel the way to work together and stuff on all different kind of work together I can probably come on with technology stuff you ever believe you're great you know technological people in Germany that created people from Germany without a creative people from Germany came here and started things here that most children don't don't believe it's here but actually is here then joint won't throw up more related to German things when people think think we are a different parts of America if you find out this this downtown Pennsylvania is that there's other places even there's even a teenagers make German gold mining settlement in California on his River than a wreck and some Russian and it's Russian gold miners just in my goal for the and what this United States where amalgam of many different countries were more or more like the prototype for un would be in the future cuz we cuz everybody came in for different reasons to try a better life but also a lot of people worship God you can record our lives in United States before God anyway we see finish worship Baptist Methodist president Presbyterian whatever Christian faith religion want to do it. Something else I want to say that this world will be a better place we will pray a lot more that's God's help and also try to try to ask God's help insurance world problems but also has got to get us knowledge service of the problems and correct things are going wrong because that's no logical thing to think because people don't have faith hey this I don't have to wear with all the favorite things on the trailer of the superior to them it's a totally wrong cuz I heard of a story once it was on a it was on a it was on a German is on a submarine world war II American Subway in German submarine they got in the mostGod save the lights from action being kind of destroyed it and I survived that come back don't countries and start a new and created the modern world of day with the help of the United States actually sending money from the Marshall plan. Anyways after that the Cold war became over many many years later that is at the wall came down that the wall is separated Europe separated Eastern Europe and Western Europe things change please change after the wall came down Eastern Eastern West Virginia things changed and things change for the better but Germany needs help for the United States you shouldn't have help from Rush on the first place as United States to send them all natural looking for natural gas he needed but also robots and only radioactive material and robots handling let them let them handle the road radioactive stuff robots do it then I'll do is decontaminate the robots the last people that last internet scientist what they could do with the technology is for military but the robots can be used for for many uses is to change the world a lot of things I can use it for the correct certain problems technology services consulting problems use a property is that a times they have politician again people in government do not ask the right questions and that's the wrong ones sometimes they say they don't know the right question what they ask the personal knowledge if you want to information about science has a scientists engineer that's what's engineering possible but then there any government money to get it completed or done first project second projects to be copy to be asking me industry can actually do it myself that I said adorable family and learn Bible and a little boy so that is a long time I would even scientific mechanics also a red eye engineering man all the stuff like that even electronic stuff anyways and also speak over to German too anyways I hope that you understand. Fille from Germany hope you understand that this country United States is a great country I know you live here for quite a few years you spend time on college of living Ohio and brothers live in Ohio and others German people living in Ohio that you don't know nothing about but any I got to say Donna vetta
Feli, You didn't mention Social Security numbers. For example, just about every medical professional requests your Social Security # .
Most people don't know that you're NOT required to provide that information. Just leave it blank. They can't make you do it.
Wasn't aware of that! Thanks for sharing.
up until 2009 i was required by the college i was attending to use my soc as a student id. and yes, they catastrophically compromised it on 2 occasions. after both times we were then required to endure a rather snarky data security website. every time i had to do one of their snarky exercises i kept thinking angrily to myself "well it wasnt i who compromised my data now was it!"
This practice is becoming greatly less common these days.
@@bgrimlan Up until about 1990, any time I went in to a company to interview for a job, I was expected to bring my Social Security card to verify that I was eligible for employment. That seems to have stopped around the time that the Internet became ubiquitous, around 1995-96. I suppose this meant that you could simply tell the employer your number, and they could log into the Social Security Administration's employer website and confirm your eligibility.
It was only after that time that I discovered that the Social Security Administration has a cap on the number of replacement cards you may get: Only five in your entire lifetime(!). Since those of us who'd carried our SSCs around in our wallets for decades had the paper cards falling apart, this was an alarming discovery.
@@FelifromGermany also when I was in the United States Air Force in the late 1980’s we used our social security number as our serial number. So everything we did or possessed in the military was labeled with our SSN. To this day I can cite my SSN from memory instantly.
Dear Feli, I really like you and your perspective on both US and German culture! I'm actually from your parent's generation and I had a long-term, long-range relationship with a woman from Munich whom I loved very much back in the day. Anyway, I was physically disciplined by my parents and by the nuns who taught me in Elementary School. I did not appreciate it then - and I do not believe it promotes wellbeing in a society. My father was raised by German parents and they were very much of the "Spare the rod, spoil the child" philosophy. I believe that was part of the Prussian mentality, which also led to the German disposition of being 'obedient to authority.' Anyway, my German friends seem to be much better adjusted to life, nowadays, and I was delighted to see how all the German cities have built back better than ever...
I always appreciate your perspective as well as your thoughtful, well-researched conclusions.
German from Baden-Württemberg (southwestern state bordering France and Switzerland): I am in my late twenties and my impression is the same Feli describes in the vid. I never experienced corporal punishment, never witnessed it and never heard of anyone having to endure it. It is not socially acceptable. My parents were not corporally punished in their childhhood by their parents either and my mom told me some years ago when we talked about the topic, that in school the worst in that respect that was still allowed was being hit on the fingers (Like Feli also mentioned).
@@geoffschnoogs6888 I just commented telling my subjective part. And wether that study's findings are true or not 🤷🏼 There is a phrase that probably exists in English, too: "torturing numbers until they plead guilty".
I hold with a wisdom that is attributed to Churchill: " I do not trust studies, unless I fudged with them myself." ( The exact wording might be wrong. I know only a translation of it, which I translated back into English.).
As children, me & my sister were spanked. It didn't happen too often. Once spanked for a particular behavior, that behavior wasn't displayed again. The last time we were ever spanked was about 11 or 12. It was never anything harsh or abusive either. That was pretty much the way it was with the rest of the crowd that we grew up with.
@@TainDK get the eff over yer self. Stop with me, me, me.
That's the point, and only used as last resort. Time outs, taking away privileges, etc... if none of that works, some kids just have to be taught the hard way. You have to explain what they did (probably repeatedly), and what they should do in the future. No instruments.
Dad used the wide side of a yard stick. You can't do any damage because you'll break the stick before you do much more than leave a sting, and it's not easy to get a fast swing due to the air slowing it down, unlike a switch from a tree limb, or a belt. Usually, all he had to do was head for the closet and we got the picture, straightened up, and did whatever it was we were told to do. Honestly, that was rare. Spanking is not always abuse.
I would be honestly interested in where you draw the line to abuse. Because there might be people saying that one swat is already abuse, or on the opposite that using some implements is not abuse if you explain it properly. So when is it spanking and when is it abuse?
@@kaph123 If you leave bruises or draw blood, knock the person down, or cause them to lose consciousnesses, or break bones, it is definitely abuse. If it is a strike to the face or upper part of the body, it is abuse. If it is a strike to the glutimus maximus, or the rear of the thighs that simply stings and is about as red as a mild sunburn, it is not abuse IMO. I was spanked with the open hand palms, 2 inch wide leather belts (usually doubled- which makes more noise, but actually is less painful), fly swatters, and a few times with 'switches' (the woody stems of some plants usually less than 1/8 inch diameter). I have NEVER been slapped, nor had my knuckles "rapped" or had a ruler applied to my palms as others have mentioned. I actually witnesses 1 guy, who got WAY out of line in 6th grade (he was about 14 at the time, the rest of the class was about 12) spanked with a wooden paddle by the teacher -which I considered justified. I witnessed in 7th grade a 17 yo student swing a punch at a male art teacher, who returned the punch and knocked him down. Student was kicked out of school permanently.
I agree with this stuff wholeheartedly, even as someone who has lived in the midwest US their entire life. Have some friends who just became parents and they immediately bought into the whole "I MUST share every waking moment of my child's life on Instagram."
I am an American but I was raised in Germany. My father was American and my mother was German. I lived in Hanau from 72 to 96. I had culture shock when I moved to the states. I was lucky that there were a lot of veterans around to help me adjust.
Growing up in a rather rural part of Bavaria in a lower class family in the 90s I only learnt 20 years later that apparently spanking on the butt or even slaps on the head were not a proper way of parenting. Even now when I go back there it seems that it is still something that's at least not uncommon there sadly. So I'd say in Germany it also depends a lot on the area and the socio-economic status you grew up in wether corporal punishment is considered normal or not. I even had two teachers in elementary school who hit kids with their pointer sticks (late 90s) for punishment and no one ever called them out on it let alone involved authorities .
Could it be that we experienced the same thing? :) But my point would be that I kind of knew that spanking isn't a proper parenting method... Maybe for myself I was sick of being punished like that
The headmaster at my school seemed to take too much pleasure in it - but one time I recall a choice between hand and bottom. I chose the hand. I knew it would hurt more but recover quicker. We had behaved very badly and we didn't do it again.
Being born in the 90s in rural Bavaria as well, I can tell you that nothing changed here. Apart from teacher hitting children.
That is more or less the same thing in the U.S. It is still legal, true. But some children of certain socioeconomic backgrounds are spanked more often than children in other socioeconomic backgrounds. It also has very much to do with the region of the country. Race and religion are other factors in parenting styles.
@@carokaffee1935 So it is still done despite it (technically?) being illegal?
I live in Illinois when you purchase a house it’s a matter of public record. Public records are … well public, and can only be restricted in very special circumstances. That’s more than likely how all those businesses knew that you just purchased a house.
I think that is true of most states.
When you buy a house it's recorded with the County assessors office and automatically becomes public records, which can be accessed by anyone. Hence all the junk mail, and offers of credit. If I applied for every credit card I was offered, I'd have over 10k cards.
When you put your life online, you put your life on the line. Your life may depend, literally, on social media online security, and we all know how well social media companies safeguard that. Their financial success depends on their circulating it as far and wide as possible.
Here in Maryland, buying a house is a matter of public record. So when I bought my house I got all sorts of catalogs for furniture, repairs, remodeling and so on. One catalog was for really high end furniture and I was left thinking, "How much money do they think I have?" I suspect advertisers regularly check housing sales.
Anyway, if you want to see who bought a house and for how much, you can just look it up here.
You rock!! I'm 56, my parents both recently died. There was only ever a threat of spanking, never happened. They were super progressive and awesome. My older brother was born in Germany while my dad was in the army. My visit to Germany and Austria was amazing and life changing!(Recycle!!!)
My parents in India had a similar idea. My father never ever punished us or even threatened. My mother was the one to keep us in line but as I grew a bit older she said " threatning works but hitting spoils" because once hit the child learns to tolerate and maybe build a resentment.
I myself have the same personality as my mother, I didn't hit my children except a couple of slaps when my little one got out of hand but they generally listened. As I like myself free and independent so I allowed my kids to have it too.
13:35 This is because the insurance companies factor in all sorts of variables when calculating your rates. You driving record, address, age, health status, and a bunch more.
Your rates can vary a lot depending on any of these factors.
Corporal punishment was used in my family growing up and I use it with my kids too. I had amazing parents. They showed me that if you use corporal punishment as a way to correct bad behavior, and make sure that your kids know that you love them very much then your kids grow up with the understanding of why you used corporal punishment. It becomes another tool in a sparsely stocked tool box. I was one of eight kids and all of us ended up good, responsible, productive members of society. Corporal punishment definitely contributed to us growing up right. One of the hardest things as a parent is teaching good and bad behavior.
As for data sharing, it is way out of control in the U.S. It also supports both the data sharing industry as well as the data protection industry. The data sharing is hard to regulate in the U.S. though because of the rights and freedoms we have.
You were taught that love equals punishment and pain. They squashed you like a roach.
@@CathyS_Bx No, they loved me and showed me right from wrong. They taught me that bad behavior is punishment and pain. Love is teaching your kids how to make good choices. Like never responding to someone with hate or malice.
Honestly, I wish my countrymen would take the topic of information security more seriously. I believe Germans have the right of this, specifically for the reason you mention, because they have experienced what horrors can happen when information falls into the wrong hands. Oftentimes you'll even be ridiculed for taking these things seriously in the US and that is especially aggravating.
Agreed. I don't know how many places won't even allow you to protect stuff like that.
I agree, spam calls are a waste of time. Ive even avoided the phone at times and missed important calls.
The one odd exception Ive noticed with Europeans is how much more willing they are to give the government information/Intel. than the US.
@@chrisgoetz544 which is silly because it takes 3 seconds to decipher a spam call
@@hgill257 True, maybe less. Honestly I keep 4 phones and only one with call/text service and I rarely use it, 99% of people I need to talk to I can do online.
I agree completely, but I do like the idea of local businesses sending out a welcome thing to new homeowners. It would help the homeowner learn of what's available nearby.
About privacy (sort of on topic?) I am amazed how casual people are in Germany about inquiring about your age. At a team meeting the entire staff had to line up in a line based on age, which was more humiliating the closer you were to either end of that line. And recently at a Fortbildung they asked the class to line up by age. WTH? Why is this important? Yesterday I had an Einsatz and was telling my husband about the nice girl I worked with all day. He asked how old she was. I said, "I wouldn't ask, that would be rude." Apparently in Germany it's fine to ask people exactly how old they are - people you just met? At another Fortbildung last week there was a sign-in sheet where we had to write our names, our driver's license class, our training level, and our age. I left all that blank, just giving my name.
In Germany its not rude to ask your age. It is something very normal and nobody is ashamed of age, because you don't need to feel shame for this! What is wrong with asking age? I don't understand what Americans find rude about it
Not sure if it was mentioned elsewhere in the comments. While corporal punishment may be allowed in those states, a vast majority of the school districts forbid it being implemented. As a kid I had my mouth washed out with soap and had some very severe spankings with a belt, etc. With my kids we never did that stuff. There was probably an occasional pat on the rear, though never very hard. Agree with you on the personal security issues.
Corporal punishment: that’s funny because my dad was a German immigrant and he used to beat the shit out of me. I’m honestly surprised that it’s illegal in Germany.
Maybe he came here to escape that law lol. In all seriousness, I'm really sorry you went through that.
How do you feel about it? Did he ever hit your mom too?
Yeah, my father didn't, but his German-born mom emotionally abused him -locked him in a closet, etc. She'd been abused in Germany, herself, and had mental issue into old age and alcoholism because of it. I always assumed Germany was worse/the US more permissive.
Charles Bukowsky's father q.v. was a German immigrant and was brutal.
My German father did spank me as a child but it was more like a klap on der po but as a teen that changed. The more I didn't react the more severe it got. Surprise when I was 17 I rebelled and fought back. PS he never touched me again. A lovely adolescence
In my family we share photos of our families and experiences as this is how we keep in touch, we are spread out around the country and don't get to see each other in person as much as we would like
What baffled me the most about the whole data protection topic is that we Germans might be very cautious about sharing our data with third parties but happily put our full name next to our doorbell for any stalker to easily find out where we live. While other countries might be less uptight about sharing their data online, you would never find someone’s name not even their surname next to a doorbell or letter box (esp. UK)
Da fragt man sich, wie man seine Post bekommen soll.
Italian here. On data protection, we are not as badly off as the USA, but not as protected as Germany either - spam calls are an everyday occurrence, unfortunately, and very much annoying, both on landlines and cell phones. Don't get me even started on spam e-mail you never consented to -.-
Corporal punishment it's still viewed as proper and justified in my country. I can only say I grew up with it and I vowed never to hit a child, no matter the circumstances, and I'm sticking to it. The more I age the more I'm convinced it only teaches to fear a parent or guardian, and nothing else. And parents get used to getting their own way and vent frustration with that method even when the child is in his teens and beyond. Once you get comfortable with threats and prevarication, it carries on even when it changes form. It's harmful on both sides. No thank you, not me, ever.
Well, fortunately, here in the USA, there are laws that say you DON'T have a reasonable expectation of privacy when in the public.
How is that a good thing?
@@KalEL224 We don't have issues like in france where we can't take photos of the skyline at night. if you are in Public, you are not private.
@@slewone4905 But the Skyline in France is due to copyright of the light installation.
@@KiraFriede If laws haven't changed, upskirting pictures of women in the street were allowed for that same reason.
@@KalEL224 ahem "PUBLIC"---look it up in the dictionary.
Feli, so much has changed since my family was stationed in Ramstein nearly fifty-seven years ago! I did expect some change to take place over more than 56 years; however, changes like reunification of east and we Germany, the establishment of the EU, and one-currency throughout the twenty-eight (or twenty-seven) countries is nothing less than breathtaking!
Yeah, corporal punishment was definitely a thing for me growing up. I'll just say that my fam used much harsher methods than a wooden spoon and leave it at that. That said, I'm glad to know that Germans feel the same way I do about online privacy. Even having grown up with the internet in the US, I feel extremely uncomfortable knowing that my information gets passed around like candy.
As for your videos, I prefer longer-form content to keep me company. Anything to keep me from having to touch the mouse while I work on other things. So in my case, feel free to cram as much content into a single video as you like!
Born and raised in California and still sometimes shocked about things on the other side of this country.
16:19
This is a Common misconception here in Germany. You are allowed to take pictures of whomever you want in private (ofc. Not in their homes or during FKK etc.) But people just standing around or walking across the street is fine. You are just not allowed to share those pictures with anyone without their consent
Exactly. There is no law against taking pictures, only against publishing/sharing such pictures. With some exceptions.
@@silkwesir1444 Same thing here. You. Cannot make money from someone’s image without a release. But you can share the image with whomever you wish.
American here. In middle school in the 80s, the principal had a wooden paddle in his office that he also made kids sign after he spanked them. I never got hit, and I found him to be a nice guy when I was sent to his office for a stupid dispute with a teacher and he just told me to sit down and wait out the period because he knew the teacher was unreasonable at times and he told me to take the rest of the period off to let the teacher cool down. but despite this kindness, he had a reputation of being quick with the paddle around the school.
I attended American schools in the 1970's. In elementary school, a teacher would sometimes grab a kid by the wrist and jerk him out of his desk and smack him on the bottom with her hand right there in front of the entire class, but that was pretty rare. If that happened to a kid, the other kids afterwards would tease him about how far he pushed the teacher. In junior high school, every teacher had a wooden paddle prominently displayed on the front wall of the classroom, and they used them frequently, but the teacher would take the kid out of the classroom into the hallway so we couldn't see. There were paddlings every day. Most of the time, the boys who got paddled purposely provoked it. Afterwards, out of earshot of the teacher, they would brag about how it didn't hurt (they were lying) and their buddies would congratulate them for the entire scene. It was a streak of irrational rebelliousness I never understood. I never got smacked or paddled in school because I had some common sense and knew how to behave myself. There was no paddling in my high school.
The thing about slapping your child is so true! My mom is from East Germany, I was born in Munich, so I know both "ideas" about corporal punishment. I was a spawn from hell as a child, pushing the borders of my mom. She hit me 2x in my intire life (24yrs) and violantly wept afterwards because she was sooooo sorry! As my Mama always says: "If you got no better way in an argument with a toddler/child than hitting it, don't have children" which is pretty cool.
My wife's mother came from ww2 numberg and raised her children very hash. As to my mom's sister married a ww1 man they raised their kids with hash beating. I grew up with german immgrants. They all were harsh. But I'm from the passed. My wife hated beating she would love and hugs our children.when they were bad.
If, as you said, were "a spawn from hell as a child, pushing the borders of my mom," then she didn't spank you enough.
And this is why your kids will be out of control most of the time. spare the rod, spoil the child. THEY NEED TO BE TAUGHT SELF CONTROL FROM AN EARLY AGE OR THEY WILL BE OUT OF CONTROL ALL THEIR LIVES. WAKE UP!!
@@howbouthat5479 Get a therapist and get a clue!! Children deserve understanding, patience, and respect. Offering those things makes stronger, healthier human adults.
My mother was on welfare in Germany. When her fiance was in the hospital with a heart attack the social amt visited her when she lived in Hessen. She was asked why she had not reported that he was not living with her. He had been in the hospital for 5 weeks at that time. They also told her she was calling her kids in the states to much and that she was writing to to many pen pals. They took money away from her cause her fiance was in the hospital. There is no privacy when you are on welfare. You can not have a burial policy either. You are supposed to be buried in a paupers grave. Luckily my Aunt had a policy on her and my dad had a small one on her even though they were divorced. Social amt is not nice to the elderly.
My children were raised "hands off". However, hockey rules were applied. A whistle blown, the observed infraction announced, and the youthful offender sent to the "penalty box". IT WORKED!
I would've laughed at your form of "discipline" and walked away as a kid.
I love that hahaha
Plllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease tell me they called you "coach" when they got in trouble.
@@Theomite They appealed to me AFTER they failed with mom.......
Thank you! Great video- especially in your intro when you were talking about having open, honest discussions. Those need to have a resurgeance.
In the US one's phone number legally belongs to the phone company, and they can do what they want with it.
I'm Asian, so corporal punishment was a thing in my childhood. I wouldn't say that smacking a kid is first or even second in my list of behavioral deterrents, but if I see something like my little brother trying to stick our baby sisters finger into an electrical socket, you can bet I'm going to snatch him up, scream my head off at him and make sure he can't sit comfortably for at least a week.
Being an American history buff and speaking of the past particularly. It’s been my experience that historically German American families generally had stricter family discipline for their children than other American families generations prior to ours.
One of the stories I tell as a farm tour guide on a German immigrant family farm in my area is when mother rang the dinner bell everyone stopped what they were doing to eat together or you didn’t eat. No eating in shifts as would sometimes happen if too busy to stop work which was common in other farm families in the area.
It also seemed a difference on how strict it seemed German American parents were on acceptable suitors for their children.
My Scots Irish Heritage I’ve found sons and daughters married generally younger while my German Heritage the sons were generally established in their professions before they married and daughters relied on parental approval more often it seemed and sometimes had to go as far as elope if parents disapproved. Boy how things have changed!
How I handle spam snail mail - if the un requested intrusion includes a pre paid postage envelope - I seal it and drop it in the mail with nothing inside. I hope it drives them crazy! More videos like this please, either one or two subjects per presentation or a longer list depending on how "in depth" you feel the need to cover the subject.
Historically, washing a child's mouth with soap is something that came over with settlers from Britain, where it was common. During the Wild West years, it was commonly used by teachers and nuns (often one and the same). Thus, everyone was familiar with the practice. My Grandma washed my Mom and her sister's mouths out with soap. That would have been maybe in the 60's. I haven't heard of it being used since then, at least among people I've encountered.
Not exactly the worst thing but the important lesson is that actions have consequences. The current "touchy-feely" attitude isn't teaching that any more.
I was born in 92 and I had to wash my mouth with soap once when I was about 10 for calling someone a bastard lol it wasn’t bar soap though my step mom put hand soap on my toothbrush and made me brush my teeth with it. Nasty but didn’t stop me from saying anything
@@hairyairey Oh, yeah. Put a little child on your lap, wallop the crap out of him because he slapped his brother, while loudly proclaiming "This will teach you never to hit anyone smaller than you!" (I stole that.)
Far more frightening than parents spanking an unruly child is the realization that any government has the power to dictate whether a parent can discipline their own child.
I completely feel you about the corporal punishment. In my parents’ case it was always a last resort, and I can only recall a handful of times where I got spanked. To be fair to my parents I was always a bit out of control when it happened. However, what I wanted to share was that after becoming a parent myself I’ve learned that there are times that we all loose control. I have never hit my kids but there were times I wanted to. While corporal punishment is not something I agree with I also think that emotional scarring happened with verbal abuse and by inflicting pressure on kids as well. I see it all too often unfortunately. Appreciate you bringing up these differences. Not sure I realized the disparity before.
My wife and I are pre- baby boomers, yes, alive during WW2. Our parents never beat us, but on rare occasions gave us a whack on the behind. We carried this forward to a small degree, mostly as a result of a child doing something extremely dangerous, and we were reacting to fear. Punishment from anger, however is a losing proposition. It seems that we were appreciated enough by our children for them to come from afar to visit us and bring the grandchildren.
Point number two....We are wary of internet stuff that comes our way. We find it best to initiate what we are going to see, and if there are too many questions, we bail. We have lived our lives well before the internet and know how to get along without it if we decide to.
What is revolting about data sharing is that people you trust are the biggest brokers of data. These include your doctor's office, dentist, therapist, hospital, banker, insurance agent, drugstore/pharmacy, grocery store, barber/hair stylist, and even a funeral home after a family death. In North Carolina, the Department of Motor Vehicles (state government) sold a woman's address to her ex-husband who promptly tracked her down and murdered her. They earned a meagre $11 million a year selling auto registration data including addresses. Have they no limits, no shame? I had a cardiac stay at my hospital and within a week I got mail about heart drugs and therapies. I had no even gotten a prescription yet so it had to be my doctor or the hospital. I asked the hospital and they admitted "we have partner affiliations that benefit our patients". Really?
Welkommen to the brave new world where your medical data amongst all the rest is known to the deep pockets whom monetize it for yet deeper pockets...and eventually control.
You are right, Larry. Information sharing in medicine (and by banks, the feds, etc.) is a HUGE problem. I have had my password stolen by hackers; I am pretty sure it was a due to hack into the J. P. Morgan Chase bank database.
Everyone (businesses) is going crazy about everything going "online" and it is a BAD idea!
Du hast die wichtigsten Datenschleudern vergessen, will sagen: die schlimmsten: Familie und Freunde.
I do have to add that I like Nena's 99 Luftballons in the German version with subtitles so much better than the second one in English
She likes the German version also much more
child of the 70s here. We were soaped, spanked, spooned, and belted. I can honestly say that all this time later, I can't recall a specific incident of corporal punishment that stands out as being traumatic.
That's not to say our childhood wasn't traumatic, it was extremely traumatic. Most of the trauma my brother and I feel stem either from a) getting screamed at, b) witnessing events such as furniture throwing, glass breaking and especially c) watching our parents hit each other.
I think it started changing in the late 90s / 2000s, my parents only rarely spanked me
Feli, about taking pictures of strangers: In Germany, it's allowed to make photos in a public space, and people who are not the main focus of the picture can't even hinder you from publishing any pictures they're in. Look up the word "Beiwerk" and "Recht am eigenen Bild". A good rule of thumb is:
If the overall impression of the picture is not changed by the presence or lack of a given person, you're free to take the picture and use it as you see fit.
I never got a spanking I didn't deserve. Maybe once a year until I was too old to spank (around 11 or 12) I can't say I look back and think it was wrong. I think my parents were judicious, but obviously if you have not-so-great parents, then ya, it can turn into child abuse.
After 11 y.o. my dad implemented the "attitude adjustment"... which was a swift kick to the rear-end. Or once, when I was 16 and inducing panic from my younger sister by threatening to run over her bicycle with a lawn mower, I got a nice punch in the shoulder. "Justice" was short, sweet, and to the point.
No you didn't deserve it. Violence against a child in any shape or form is never acceptable. Every child has the right of an upbringing without violence.
Not only did I deserve every spanking I got. I am sure I deserved more swats than I got.
@@garyschwab8802 there are much better ways to teach children how to behave. Would you spank an adult for their behaviour? No, you would talk to them. No human being deserves violence.
I really like your videos and I continue to be impressed by your native fluency in English. Your presentation is also very bubbly and positive. I lived and worked in Erlangen, Aschaffenburg and Darmstadt and never got beyond the basics in German. But, I loved the people, culture and food, especially in Bavaria. Keep the videos coming.
The stat about corporal punishment shocked me as an American. I know in the south it is still common, which is reflected a bit on the legality of the practice in schools in those states, but beyond that I’ve not met hardly anyone that was spanked as a child or would spank their own child today. I’m very curious.
To clarify, Corporal punishment here in America does not happen in schools anymore (i.e. sticks belts or a hand) At home it does happen though but schools will call child services if they see any signs of marks or bruises on kids now. Its less common for parents to use hard punishments like tree branches paddles because school will intervein but the hand & belt is still very common.
Actually corporal punishment does happen in many southern public schools. Even my cousin's public school in Florida used paddling up until about 2018.
As an American living in Germany, I feel like a lot of children are undisciplined. I do not agree with spanking or hitting with an object, but I feel like I hardly see these children corrected in public.
Again, this is just from what I see and it might stand out to me because of how strict my childhood was.
This is a general problem in germany at the moment in my opinion. But it has nothing to do with corporal punishment but more with the surroundings the children grow up and that more and more parents think it is the job of schools and daycares to teach the children the right behaviour instead of caring themselves.
@@SilvaLuna That's an interesting theory, that little hellians run around throwing tantrums and beating people up, and somehow that doesn't bleed into home life.... when a child's actions begin in the home.... I'm not saying beat them til they're black and blue, but I will say that when I went to the Philippines every child came up to me and put my hand on their forehead as a sign of respect. If they misbehave, they are dealt with pretty harshly. It teaches them obedience, respect, honor, politeness, and it actually brings a familial bond that can never be taken away. They always remember that no matter what their parents will bring them back. Spanking hurts, temporarily... a whole lot better than allowing the kind of disrespect and attitude that an undisciplined youth is capable of. Many kids in the inner city here in the states join a gang and make their first robbery or murder before they are 15 years old. To me, spanking your child is rather modest when compared to what they face outside the home. Personally, I'm grateful my father took the belt out a few times.. it's a correction that children need sometimes.
In America, your name and address is public information easily accessible by anyone in the world on your county's auditors website. On it is all the information about your house: your full name, your address, the plot or property registration number, square footage of the house, whether you have forced air or boiler heating, any additions or remodeling you've done, the size of your driveway, when it was all built, and your property tax fees. Including when you've last paid them, and how much you owe.
When I was a kid, my mom entered everyone in the family into a contest including our German Shepard, Heidi. Soon afterward Heidi started receiving junk mail.
re corporal punishment: One of the most effective teaching techniques is modeling: demonstrating the behavior you are teaching. Corporal punishment is teaching the subject to respond to unwanted behavior with violence. Once the child is strong enough, the child's nitial violent response to you is likely to continue until the decades of rage is spent. Corporal punishment may be the cause of most of the violence in the US. When you spank, you are teaching criminal violence.
This is not a "PDFMA" (Pulled Directly From My A**) statement. Ask Anyone Else who has a Bachelor's (4 Y) degree or greater in Psychology, and they will confirm. There is copious research that confirms this, as well as the potency of modeling as a teaching tool, particularly in childhood. When you spank or beat your child, you are personally partly responsible for their later domestic violence, assaults, or murders.
Feli, I grew up in Florida, my dad was from north carolina and my mom from Texas. Yes, we did have corporal punishment in our home. I would get slapped or spanked because I had a habit of talking back to mom. In retrospect now, I deserved it. I wish I had never done it. But yes, it did happen in our home. My dad was somewhat of a genius when it came to math. He didn't understand why we didn't understand math at all. He said math was a language. When I asked him to help me with my math, he got angry with me because I didn't understand something and spanked me right then. We were always getting spanked either with a hand or the belt. My mom usually did the disciplining in our house. My dad worked graveyard shift at Florida Power and Light, 12-7 and he got called in when we had storms. He was a dispatcher with them. We had to be quiet when my dad was sleeping during the daytime. If we woke him up, we got a spanking for that. My dad worked hard and worked many double shifts to provide for us and pay the bills.
Sounds horrible. I'm so sorry for you. No child ever deserves to get spanked. In your case it seems to be pretty often. Hope you are ok.
@@lenab5266 Yes, I am ok, I turned out ok too. Thank you for the comments.
@@patmurphy389 spanking someone for not understanding something is so terrible :(
@@lijntje266 I agree with you totally!
I have a question for you, Feli, are people in Germany car enthusiasts like in the US? Do people own and fix up old cars, restore them? Hang out and work on them? I spend a lot of time working on my cars. I enjoy working with my hands, too.
Very good point on data protection. I wish a lot of Americans would do this here in the USA.
[Format] Either - it is not necessary to limit yourself to one way or the other; whatever method feels right to you at the creative moment....
I live in the US and I feel like it’s falling apart with the crime and economy and government
Great video! More short videos addressing one topic at a time would do super for me! Keep up with the great work, your channel's really good!
My brother and I were spanked when we were naughty (back in the 1960s), and it didn't seem to do us any harm. There is a difference between a smack on the rump, and abuse.
It is true that spanking is dying out in the US; but it also seems that children are much less well-behaved as well.
Not around my house; my grandson gets out of line, and he gets a hand across his butt. His parents don't spank him, and he's a little monster.
Better read about the tones of research about spanking and child development.
You probably spanked your kids and now they are not equipped to discepline their kids. And disceplining does not equal hitting them. You should think about why they don’t want to spank them. Probably because they experienced it as kids. I would not leave my kids at your place if you where my parent
I think parents today have stopped teaching their kids now, so they grow up without manners or class, compared to decades ago when parents would be the role model for their kids to follow, things have changed a lot
No discipline so No consequences now a days. Kids do whatever they want even if it’s violence against others. They grow up and as adults thinking they are invincible and hurting others is okay to do.
@@jsstars1 I‘ll show my kid hitting otheres is bad by hitting them. Thats not how it works.🤦♀️
I honestly like the privacy thing here in Germany, I was also not allowed to share any pictures or my last name (mainly as my last name is very uncommon though) when I was younger, I wasn't even allowed to have a profile picture of myself on Facebook until I was 14 or so. In Germany it is also common to ask everyone in the friendship group e.g. if it's okay if you share a picture with them on Instagram. What shocks me the most is that many Americans share photos of their kids on public accounts because here in Germany even many influencers keep their kids out of social media and don't share their faces or even names.
I do not share photos on social media of any person, nor my personal info. Perhaps this is from my fathers German family heritage and culture.. I feel generally more comfortable socially when in Germany than I do in my native USA
I love to watch your channel! Your perspective of things we often take for granted as Americans is very refreshing. Simple things like closets in the bedroom and turning on red, it makes me appreciate things here so much more. And don't ever feel bad about being a bit critical at times, if anything it only makes you fit in even more. Also, my best friend and I want to visit Germany now. 💖 🇩🇪
It’s interesting that Germany has outlawed corporal punishment. My German grandmother remembered to her old age her punishment from her father.
I didn’t use it but I can see why a parent would if modest. Kids can become out of control.
It normal for kids to become out of control not for parents.
@@mathyeuxsommet3119 Wasn’t normal in my house, because there were spankings. Yes, anecdotal, get over it.
And spanking them is gonna fix that?
I totally agree.
The right to one's own image does not apply if persons appear only as an accessory next to a landscape or other location. This refers to cases in which a street scene or a landscape is captured in pictures and persons are photographed who happen to be present.
I can count on one hand the amount of times I was spanked (with an open hand). My parents also took the time to explain why what I did was not acceptable. I think communication is key and don’t plan to spank my kids if/when I have them.
Also, please turn this into a series! I love learning the difference and similarities between cultures!
For young folks in USA, I think it is more important to be popular on social media, than to be concerned about privacy.
I, personally, try to minimize how much personal data I give out due to the huge problem of identity theft in USA and to the massive number of telemarketers calling here. But, there are many things you cannot do unless you are willing to sacrifice your privacy. Internet sites require sometimes your name, address, phone number and email address. Grocery and other stores will give you a discount card to track you only if you give them your information. To activate a cell phone you need to provide information. There are no government rules to prevent a company which you trusted with your data from going bankrupt or being sold to an unreputable company which you do not trust and your data being transferred to the new company.
So, even Americans who want privacy, find it difficult to maintain their privacy.
Es ist super einfach zu sagen, ich würde nie .... , wenn man noch keine eigenen Kinder hat oder noch nie mit "Problemkinder bzw. jugendlichen" gearbeitet hat.
It's super easy to say I would never ...... if you don't have children of your own yet or have never worked with "problem children or adolescents".
Es gibt genug Eltern mit problemkindern die es schaffen ihre kinder nicht körperlich zu bestrafen. Wenn man das nicht schafft seis wegen der eigenen persönlichkeit der des kindes oder irgendwelchen anderen Umständen muss man sich verdammt nochmal Hilfe holen und nicht den frust und die hilflosigkeit am kind rauslassen. Man muss als eltern nicht perfekt sein, aber es gibt einfach keine Entschuldigung dafür sein kind zu schlagen.
@@lenab5266 Das sehe ich genauso.
I like having you use a combination of lists and monothematic videos, as you see fit. I don't think I'd like having just one or the other as much. :)
A friend of mine from Nigeria was told by his grandmother back home that he should never put his hands in his pockets in America. Based on her knowledge of American movies, if you had your hands in your pockets, someone would think you are hiding a gun and shoot you down in the street western cowboy style. The first time he was walking in a busy street, many people had their hands in their pockets and he moved away to avoid them. He laughs now at that silly idea.
When I was in high school some 20 years ago, it was common to see people write their Social Security number on a plaque with their names if they were hauling something without a license plate. Our Social Security numbers were on our ID’s and my friends in the military had their Social Security Numbers stenciled on their bags and such. I admit that it wasn’t the safest to do that, but I do miss people feeling safe enough to do that.
My 2¢ on your question re: single topic or the whole list in one video?
Hi Feli,
My opinion is that either on is fine. Only try to keep any video less than 10-12 minutes.
I'm a grandpa, but I SO love your videos! You are super cute and always have a positive and friendly attitude. Your style is fun and enthusiastic. Your facial expressions are priceless! Your eyebrows say it all! How do you do that?! Your youthfulness and exuberance always lift my spirits... And you are an incredible content writer and reader! I feel like you are a good friend and I love spending time listening to your stories! Oh, and your exceptionally clear and crisp enunciation along with your incredible understanding of both languages and cultures provides awesome credibility to all you share! So much fun to watch you! Thank you!
A loyal follower...
Phil (aka, "Pop")
Maybe corporal punishment is the cost of our overall more open and friendlier and informal society relative to Germany. Kids in the U.S. might feel they can get away with more because of the more friendly environment, so something must be done to maintain discipline. i don't mean to justify corporal punishment, just explain it. This also relates with the data sharing issue: the U.S. is just more open.
As all “good” hackers know, the US is the place to be.
YEAH. We love it when people from other countries come here. AND tell us what we need to improve. Thank you. William.s
I'm 65 and I experienced corporal punishment in school and at home. Although I have to say that all it ever really did was made me mad. I raised four great kids and I never used corporal punishment on them ever.
I was born in East Germany & my mom used to beat us regularly when we misbehaved.
I live in ther US now with three kids, and I've never hit my kids.
God, this video would’ve been perfect for a VPN sponsorship haha
You're adorable. Thanks for the content. Also, I'm listening to this video on my Raycon Everyday ear buds. Just click the link and buy them. They aren't super noise cancelling but the charging, sound and value is unparalleled.
I definitely got spanked as a kid, and my recollection is that it had no effect on the behavior that caused the spanking. Much of what I remember had to do with me getting spanked for not doing my schoolwork, and the fact is that I always did very little of my schoolwork. (As a side note, as an adult, I find that all that schoolwork had nothing to do with my adult work or my activities as a citizen. It was mostly just drudgery.)
And I heard the phrase "wash your mouth out with soap" often, but never actually knew of anyone that had this particular punishment. I think that forcing a child to put something distasteful in its mouth is a form of child endangerment. There could be toxins or other nasty chemicals in the soap, things that are okay on the skin but should not be ingested. I'm not sure which of Feli's acquaintances confirmed getting soap in their mouths, but it has to be a tiny percentage of the population. I can't believe this is common. (I'm from the US -- grew up in upstate NY.)
If you're worried about soap going in your mouth you should definitely never ever kiss anyone!
@@hairyairey Ahh... but kissing someone is a reward. Getting a piece of soap in your mouth is a punishment. My experience is that rewards are much better motivators than punishments.
@@bobkovacs2206 I'd say if soap in your mouth was a punishment then you've lived a charmed life. Your original comment claimed that it was bad for you. There are far more germs exchanged by kissing and even more with shaking hands! Soap is just an oil. So on one level no-one showers themself clean, they just have an oil change (this incidentally also explains the question that stumps people that wonder why they have to wash their towels if they are clean when they use them!)
@@hairyairey Isn't it obvious that taking something into your mouth that is not intended to be eaten is potentially hazardous? Soap is WAY more than just oil -- it is made with lye, and most soaps have perfumes. None of that is intended to be ingested. And we weren't talking about germs -- we were talking about ingesting foreign substances.
To my knowledge, I have never gotten sick from kissing or shaking hands, and I've done both quite a few times in my life. I'm not saying it *can't* happen. Just that it is not even close to the same thing as taking something into your mouth that will shed chemicals and is not intended to be ingested.
@@bobkovacs2206 "To my knowledge" - well that's just an admission that you have no idea how your immune system works. The human body is very good at coping with poisons. In fact a lot won't survive your stomach acid. Bacteria on the other hand are much more of a problem. Viruses more so. The biggest killers aren't poisons they are viruses.
I completely understand the need for privacy and I don’t like how my information is bought and sold to different marketing agencies. On that note, since I’m looking for a new job in addition to my current part time job, I do answer every phone call. Sometimes I get a call from a scammer trying to sell me a car warranty and I do mess with them and waste their time; it’s amusing.
I’m an American, I was spanked as a child. I think I turned out just fine. My parents were great parents, and I have no complaints.
There are countries where women support husbands being able to hit them too, it doesn't make it right.
I’m from Minnesota , we learned the Bavarian German in high school as that was the criteria for whatever reason!
Spanking by parents is still a thing, although way less common than I was a kid (I'm 36), it wasn't been a thing in schools since my parents were kids. We live Texas, one of the states in your map that says schools still do this. Or at least suggest it. I suppose it's possible that it is legal, but no school has practiced it since my parents were kids. I can't imagine any school in the US doing it today. Even the most pro spanking parent would turn into a momma bear if she found out her kid was spank by school staff.
Feli, as a non-insensitive American, I don’t blame you for being taken aback by these things you mention in this and the previous video. Despite having lived here my entire life, these are things which, if I was aware of them, I have certainly been uncomfortable with and have done what most of us do: avoided these subjects and others like them. If I didn’t love my country as much as I do, I would have left it a long time ago for these and other reasons. I may have been unaware of how the drug problem in the U.S. compares with it in other parts of the world, but it saddens me deeply. Grocery prices, I’m afraid, are only going to get worse. Corporal punishment of children? A few light spanks on the backside is as far as it should go IMO. Anything beyond that does more harm than good. My view on this has changed over time. I believe that bravery is a virtue that any country needs its children to develop. That the fullness of human character and happiness is not within reach without it and that there’s a direct correlation between its development and other virtues like respect for other people and their property. Sadly, some kids don’t listen and only respect a tougher approach. So there are some crimes, like theft for example, which need to be answered with some kind of temporary physical discomfort, if not outright corporal punishment, in order to communicate its gravity to such kids. Virtue is much harder to instill into adults than children. And for a country, prosperity doesn’t just ‘happen’. Freedom is not an automatic occurrence. There’s a direct connection between these natural elements of happiness and the development of virtue, which itself can only be acquired in most cases through commitment and effort against the current of human nature. In any case, we welcome you to America!
LOL. Spanking. I come from the southern United States and I was spanked by my parents, teachers and coaches all the way through high school. How do I feel about it? Idk. It was just the way we lived in the mid- and late- 20th Century America - kids who did bad things and had to learn got spanked.
in the mid- and late- 20th Century it was pretty normal in Germany too
Also, don’t worry at all about any haters. I and, I’d imagine the overwhelming majority of Americans, would love for you to be a fellow American because that’s one of the beautiful things about America! I look forward to you becoming a fellow citizen if you choose to. 🙂
What is your form of consequence for bad behavior? I was at a restaurant with my mom and sister and I acted up my mom told me if I didn't settle down she would spank me in front of everybody. I continued and my mom grabbed my alarm to spank me on my butt in front of everyone, I settled down after that.
Well first you should know that your personal experience in a very circumstantial situation i s totally irrelevant,that like testing a medicine on yourself and deducting it is universal.But if you really want to know what to do in does situation you should generally give your child a certain sensibility so that when you tell him kindly to stop something for is good or for the good of other he would listen and if he does not you can make punitive restrictions instead corporal one.
@@mathyeuxsommet3119 raise your kids as you see fit. Obviously within reason and not with abuse. Don't listen to the internet. Spanking can work. It could also not work depends on the circumstances and the kid
Positive reinforcement and other punishments such as time outs, losing phone privileges, being grounded etc.
@@FelifromGermany this is as likely not to work just as spanking is but I understand the frustrations. Honestly I would say if your kids act out in public and dont listen then stop taking them out. No more McDonald's becasue remember the last time we went and you were a lttle shit? You need to show them the meaning of respect. They need to want to be respected and also need to know in order to get respect they have to be respectful.
I agree. There comes a time when A LOT of kids don’t respond to the positive reinforcements, and the consequences of time-outs, groundings, or losing of privileges, means nothing to them. Corporal punishment thrown into the mix, is the way to go.
My favorite bar is in Mt. Adams called The Blind Lemon.
My wife and I never spanked our two children. I don't remember ever being spanked by my parents. I remember feeling that I didn't want to disappointment my parents. I'm pretty sure students in my town can't be physically touched by their teachers. John of Nebraska.
Make this a series. That way you have enough time to examine each point.