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I think it was that she wanted him to confirm plans with her earlier?? Also setting boundaries is not some angry thing that you shout at people when they cross them, unless MAYBE you’ve already established that boundary? You don’t get mad when you have some niche boundary that people would have no way of knowing about. And you don’t follow up on setting your niche boundary by harassing people. If people don’t want to have you in their life because of your boundaries or the way you express them, you’re not compatible in each others lives, so leave it be.
To me, all I can think about was, if she were truly a strong and independent woman, she would be able to initiate the date with the dude on her own, and wouldn’t be so clearly butthurt by the other party not initiating.
I find it unsettling that she felt the need to track him across his socials to have the final word, essentially stomping all over his own boundaries of self preservation, in order to have the final word. Marissa has a platform. Marissa has a following. Marissa does not see a problem with putting people on blast when she feels even the tiniest bit slighted by their actions. His disinterest in setting up a date with her and cutting communication without "a good reason" is understandable when you line up these details and look at it from a perspective of 'either she's going to retaliate, or she's going to retaliate' and mitigating a smaller loss by not giving her more attention and information to attack with.
I am one minute in and already pissed, cussing out a service worker in a pandemic because their employer won't sell you food is nasty behavior. As I tell my five year old, you're allowed to be mad, but that doesn't make it okay to be nasty
lol this was insane of her to do imo… like i understand being mad and struggling with mental health but like girl 😭😭 it doesn’t make it okay to be unhinged in public and getting mad at poor underpaid workers who are not the problem… 🤦🏼♀️ she should have like taken her anger from a situation and tried to understand the root of her problem and took steps to see how she can deal with it in the future .
My thoughts exactly. It's horrible enough to have to be a service worker during the pandemic without people being assholes. It's horrible in normal times already. 😭😭😭😭💔
I feel like body positivity should be about all kinds of things/all kinds of bodies: stretch marks, eating disorders, skin “imperfections”, cellulite, aging, skin tones, trans bodies, bodies with visible disabilities, and yes, fat bodies. We’re all in this objectifying, patriarchal, capitalist, r*cist, transphobic society together. Let’s avoid being divided and conquered. We can and should address the nuances between these different aspects of body negativity, but we can do that with love and compassion, not with comparing or excluding.
Yeah... This is why I stay in the Disability spaces, cause they have been having the conversations about How To Love And Live in your body for DECADES and the literature/research work/philosophy is both far more developed and much harder for corporations to co-opt cause uh... We're all poor and disabled. But yeah if you want some good in depth reading on body positivity, I'd actually go looking over there, waaay more fun
Yes! I've been very overweight in the past and I've now lost weight but I have guttate psoriasis all over my body. There are differences in the stigma and reactions I have received to both, but both affected my self worth, social life, employment and work life, my experience with healthcare and the way society views me We should be able to come together and share our experiences. Together we are strong and can begin to undo the harmful patterns of stigma, oppression and ableism.
I dont touch cringe comps. For my own sanity. The only reason Im watching this video is because I trust you to be fair and measured with an academic cornerstone to build on.
My biggest issue with Marissa and other FAs in her corner is that they scream from their podium about how they are oppressed and to make space for fat bodies BUT in the same brearh, turn around and tell others that their body issues don't matter if they are smaller than her. Like, it doesn't matter if you're skinny or fat, if you are smaller, your issues and concerns don't matter. 😂
I think the problem a lot of FAs have is that insecurities aren't the same as discrimination. Like any person can feel bad about their bodies, but only specific people are literally denied, for example, basic healthcare because of the way their body looks.
I *hate* the culture of “it’s not my job to teach you” and “google is free”. Like, yeah, I understand that not every single person is a teacher or activist, but if I’m coming in with zero context or approaching a topic I’ve never encountered, it’s counterproductive to just say “google it”. Where do I start?
"Google is free" And it's also going to feed you answers depending on how you phrase your query. Even changing ONE word can be the difference in your top ten results, so the self education route can go in the opposite direction of what M thinks it will. It's wild to me that she'll scream and cry about 'It's not my job to teach you' while touting herself as some educator to the unwashed masses on why they're bad people for not propping her up as a God.
Like, yes, folks should try to do their own research, but also sometimes they need a direction or clarification. For example, a friend of mine has a Transformers fan story where everyone is human (drawing robots is hard) and I've been playing in the sandbox. I made a character Pakistani and Muslim and I wanted his girlfriend who was not to have a dog that he would be okay to be around. I remembered reading that salukis were the one breed that were considered "halal" and I went online to double-check. Then I went to my friend (who is Muslim herself) to chat with her about it and she actually clarified for me that it's actually more nuanced than that, being more about wet dogs/dog saliva/rabies, and that it can also depend on sects and how conservative the person is. Although saluki are always deemed as acceptable.
I think you shouldnbe able to gather if the person is asking in earnest, or if explaining the thing is a waste of everyone's time. This is why we need more social learning for alo humans. And less sarcasm, as it is hard to read.
As a therapist I’ve noticed online creators use therapy language to justify themselves being rude or coming off abrasive as “setting boundaries” or “communicating effectively” which also negatively impacts those who use therapy and attempt to assert boundaries/communicate. It sounds like this individual seems really triggered by online spaces and they’re definitely not easy to be within. But I appreciate that you pointed out that the problem does lie with her and how she approaches these conversations. So many people miss the point of asserting boundaries and communicating doesn’t have to be hurtful or harmful in their delivery. I can understand her frustrations and feelings of being attacked but also I can see that comments trigger her and she either enjoys responding to them or feels that there’s no further growth that she can make (from my observation/opinion). Great work Mika!!
I like to call this phenomenon weaponised healing, often times I see people justify being emotionally unavailable and rude and just a dickhead in general all in the name of “setting boundaries” and self care. I understand that having the emotional energy to be reciprocal in friendships is something that can be tough and inconsistent (hell I have bpd) but you need to be there for the ones you love, support shouldn’t only be one way
And “living in a larger body”. They all use identical phrases and it makes them sound so stupid because they don’t have their own opinion. Internalised fat phobia, marginalised body, rooted in racism and patriarchy. It’s utterly ridiculous
Thanks for the shoutout! Fearing the Black Body is a history thesis so it's not an easy read for non-historians/academics. You are correct that intersectionality exists between racism and fatphobia - that can be easily seen with racist icons like the mammy character. There were so many legit points that were missed or overlooked by Strings so the Fearing Book is a miss for sure. Love your stuff by the way! 😊
She has the same energy as creepshow art or fannita. Their delivery in their argument is what turns people away. And in Marissas case, you can see why shes so upset but that frustration isn’t transformative to anyone’s mindset.
Marissa - "We shouldn't marginalize voices of marginalized people!" Also Marissa - "Your opinion and experience must match mine perfectly or it's getting deleted!" I'm critical of her and also a person with a disability with lifelong weight problems. If I were to leave a critical comment and got deleted, wouldn't the type of voice she says society needs to listen to be marginalized by her own action? She fails to realize that she doesnt champion marginalized people; she champions marginalized people who ALSO agree with her.
WOO!!! thank you for the video! Now, I do want to add specific context for the "spinning" thing, i.e. It's A Disability Thing Marissa Ignored I have chronic migraines, and while I literally know *nothing* about the specific critique or criticism she received on that video, from what I got in her response, it sounds like she was either asked to 1) stop making spinning videos or 2) [more likely] to TAG them. Having chronic migraines means I'm a part of greater disability community, including both the Seizure community and the fat activist community (did you know some migraines are actually seizure conditions? I didn't) I say all this to say, Spinning videos, just like flashing lights *often are triggers for Seizures, Migraines and Vertigo* Now pair this with Fat Activism which has MAJOR overlap with the disability community, not in the least because depending on your meds, you might gain significant amounts of weight and still be subject to medical fatphobia despite doctors literally knowing the exact cause of your weight gain... Thus my hypothesis, whomever was criticizing her about the spinning was a member of her own community, likely reaching out because they enjoyed the content and asked for an accessibility tag so they could continue to safely follow. And we saw the result. I wanted to call this out specifically, because "spinning" sounds ridiculous UNLESS you know that spinning is a specific known trigger for major illnesses. Anyway! If you got this far, hope you are having a good day, my cats have decided to nap on their tower at the same time and it's super super cute
Additionally, a lot of my specific Disability communities hang out on Tumblr, which has a culture of Tag Everything. There are blogs that explicitly state when they will or won't tag, in order to communicate whether that particular need can be met, but the expectation is that it's up the the individual. The key difference here is it's made explicit AND Tumblr has a robust blocking system where specific content can be blocked *even if not tagged for*, unlike Tiktok. I hope that makes sense!
Yes!! Thank you for saying this. I have both epilepsy and migraines, spinning can completely disorient me and make me throw up. I find it very ironic that she is quick to call other people ableist- but when someone requests pretty basic accessibility measures, it is a huge problem...? My cats are also napping together on their tower
Marissa is self-aggrandizing and her videos are her rehearsing comebacks for people she imagines meeting in real life. I think in her head, she wants an audience of people who wish they were as brave and strong as her in anger, and will watch to live vicariously through her "clap backs." This is a very common personal fable on TikTok and VERY common with white BoPo/HAES people. Even Tess is a lot like this but it works because she has SOME charisma.
I am a Quality Assurance Auditor and a part of training at my company for auditors involves how to frame findings and recommendations and talking to coworkers. If you speak to people respectfully you will find they will be more receptive to what you have to say. As you say Marissa's 'I will speak to you as if you are stupid' voice instantly raises hackles and any points she makes are lost, because you are simply less inclined to put up with her.
One time, I wasn’t in the mood to write a ten page paper to explain why someone’s idea about trans athletes was wrong. The person also literally said “that’s too long I’m not reading” on another, more compact response I made. So I sent them a well-done video with a bibliography of sources to prove the essayist did the research and I got back “wtf, this only proves YOUR point”. …. Why would I proved them with evidence (or lack of) that proved their point? Also, the video I sent was a response video to someone making the points they were. It was just responding to how those points were wrong based on said scientific evidence
thank you for the shoutout to writing centers - I worked at my college’s writing center and it’s still the most satisfying job I’ve ever had. They’re such an underrated resource
People like Marissa are interesting because they’re the first to claim discrimination, but then turn around and discriminate against sick/disabled people because they vehemently refute that they are sick and/or disabled.
She really dismissed vertigo while acting like she's been dismissed 😂 Fun fact: you don't know a video has someone spinning until you see it 🤦🏻♀️ People are very dismissive of vertigo but a lot of triggers come up unexpectedly and it can be absolutely debilitating. But she's so about marginalized people so I'm obviously lying or something 🙄
For real!!! I have migraines and spinning is one of my triggers. I went to see Spiderverse 2 on a "good" day and had to take my meds as soon as I got home. Solidarity, people dismissing disabilities, even as they themselves suffer from discrimination is the fucking worst
Marissa Mathews is someone who's convinced she's never done anything wrong, ever, and is incredibly mad that the rest of the world doesn't fall in line with that.
everyone saying this is tone policing as if she didn’t specifically say “this is my stupid person voice” and purposely put on the worlds most annoying, grating, shove a knife in my ear voice to insult people with just mild criticism or confusion about her
I think a lot of people could benefit from realizing they aren't able to handle being a public figure. As a public figure theres a lot of positives but also a ton of negatives. People are going to dislike you, criticize your options and beliefs, push back against your opinions and beliefs, be mean etc. Its okay to not be able to handle that and log off and not make content anymore. I see people like Marissa who are constantly yelling, cussing, being passive aggressive all the time on TikTok the most because of the option to make video responses to comments and they can't handle it.
YES. I was visible in a highly niche tiny scene + the "public-ness", even as minor as mine, just made my head spin. I wasn't healthy or prepared for that. It was hard bc I loved loved loved the actual labour I did.
the idea that fat acceptance was started by black, fat women is a complete falsehood, and i think that marissa took it as gospel without actually looking into it. fat acceptance was started by two white men who wanted to be accepted for loving bigger women. like you said, they're pulling from fearing the black body, but i don't believe they're really reading or understanding it.
Just starting the vid so apologies if this is addressed later on, but Marissa saying that body positivity is not for skinny people is ableist. I’m not just throwing around words, all disabled bodies, fat, skinny and everything in between are not respected in society. People with height related disabilities like gigantism and dwarfism are often treated as subhuman and their bodies are not respected while they are alive and while they are dead. People with facial deformities face a sort of social ugly law where abled body people except them to shut themselves away for the comfort of abled people. And there’s so much more. That clip alone shows me that Marissa is unable to sympathize with people who experience other forms of oppression and abuse. It’s all me me me. Body positivity is all about me and my experiences, despite there being enough room for everyone in the movement.
I can see where someone would be coming from with that logic though. Like I have said similar things but it's more about the skinny Bopo creators who will complain that they have a roll when they sit down or they have hip dips or something. Like co-opting the bopo movement to be about their own hyper-specific insecurities instead of actual discrimination. I'm not defending her, just the sentiment behind the statement. Like If I heard a disabled person say "the Bopo movement isnt for able-bodied people" I wouldn't automatically assume they meant like black/trans/fat/etc people can't be discriminated against for their bodies.
@@Hannahgs you are defending her and don't understand what the entire movement is about just like her it started with disabilities and moved on to letting people be comfortable in their own skin. Hip dips often come with many autoimmune conditions or joint conditions it's not always just a harmless dent. But you didn't both doing any research before you were an asshole
My main criticism of Marissa is that she chooses not to private her platforms. She knows she has controversial opinions, she does not like to receive feedback from others that doesn’t perfectly align with her views, and she doesn’t get enough views on her TikTok to be making meaningful income from having a public platform. It feels like by keeping her account public she’s just fuelling a victim complex she has. I think there is a part of her that feels powerless so she likes to have an excuse to go off on people all the time.
she was the first person i ever blocked on tiktok. i saw a video of hers saying "white thin people need to sit down and shut up because the bopo movement is for fat people, people of color and other people in marginalized bodies". i commented asking if she thought skinny white disabled bodies belonged in the bopo movement because her tiktok was confusing. and instead of answering my question she called me insecure
Just wanted to say, I'm up to my armpits in a formal report and I appreciate you speaking on rhetoric SO much. It's definitely helped form my views on how I persuade my audience in my writings and when I'm reviewing the writing of others. Part of my report includes dismantling the rhetoric of an opposition group's lazy propaganda and your videos have been instrumental in my writing for this project 😘💕
You nailed exactly what my frustration is. It's the using it to deflect all criticism. I believe Sam at every size also noted that the "fat Black women who started this movement" is also most likely not true and just a repeated falsehood.
funtie times has a video about the origins of fat acceptance, and spoiler, it was started by white men who wanted their love for their fat wives be normalised and 1 journalist (also a white man), i dont remember their names but it was listed out in her video notice how whenever FAs talk about the black women that started the fat acceptance movement, you would think they would know their names but not a single name of a black woman was ever mentioned
her going off about that guy not respecting boundaries she never set, while going out of her way to violate his boundaries he set by blocking her makes me wanna snap
ok also she claims to be recovering from being a people pleaser, i just wanna say there is literally no way this woman has every been a people pleaser LMAO i’m a chronic people pleaser, because i’m shy and meek and i hate telling people anything they won’t be 100% happy with. she is rude, aggressive, abrasive and and clearly thrives off of conflict and playing the victim. basically everything a people pleaser is not lol😭
Actually I can kinda see it but it's not recovery, it's her snapping from one extreme to the other. I can totally see someone who struggles with people pleasing, setting boundaries, low self esteem and worth, etc, eventually snapping and instead of taking any productive lessons from their past experiences lets the negative unaddressed built up emotions shape them into a bitter aggressive person who doesn't care anymore, to a fault. Getting high on feeling like their finally free and taking it too far. Happened to me. TW I mention SA here but nothing explicit or detailed. I literally became a different person after getting bullied so bad it eventually led to a sexual assault and I formed a really bad coping mechanism: not caring and becoming extremely unempathetic and aggressive to people around me. Luckily I recognised it quick and I'm still young so am working on being a reasonable nice but still strong calm person without resorting to my past pushover self, healing ig. But it is hard, letting go of anger. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt on this one, healthy happy unhurt people don't behave this way. She's clearly been hurt by something/s. Doesn't excuse her ofc and definitely not assuming she needed to go through anything as extreme as I did, but it's not unbelievable she could have changed for the worse instead of healing.
@@ByAzuraByAzuraByAzura To the OP:the key word is recovering, we don’t see it because she’s hiding it. And to you: I agree, let’s be real, she’s definitely been bullied, and that anger is so built up in her that she can’t keep it from spilling out any longer.
I feel like you nailed the issue on the head there at the end. When people co opt conversations about intersectionality to make their point, they often do more harm than good by taking attention away from the people who live that reality (in this case fat, black women).
i always wonder if someone just FEELS the nutty things that come out of their mouths, "if you you dislike me, you're racist towards black women" ???? hello???
girl thought she could compare her experiences to people who experienced literal colonialism, enslavement, and mass incarceration in america. sickening
I feel bad for her not being able to keep her backpack in the store and therefore not being able to have her purse. I'm fortunate enough to have these things called hands that help me carry stuff so I can't imagine how distressful of a situation this must be.
I love that you used Sam and Megan as resources. I recently discovered them and I really do love their content and format. I know 1 is on a weight-loss journey and I wish them well and hope they succeed.
ooh a fellow sam and megan watcher! they're my moms! don't also forget kayla shaye, mom no. 3! i love them three as they criticize FAs and use facts, logic, and their stories as a way to disprove their lies and misinfo
Im an english/writing tutor at my local community college, and this semester has almost broken me LOL ive had so many rude students and ones that make it super clear they would rather be anywhere else. it was really reaffirming to hear you say you learned more from TWC than any of your classes!! Tutoring is not easy but i love my students so so much, and knowing they go on and are impacted further means so much. (Sorry if it wasnt this video hehe i watched it and couldnt comment at that moment so i THINK i got the right one)
52:21 It’s absolutely insane that she thinks all people who are skinny, are insecure about potentially being fat. Has she ever talk to more than 1 person who’s thin?& Actually try to understand where they were coming from?If she had she would see the great variance in experience. A lot of women who are extremely thin, want to gain weight. I’ve had a few friends in my life, who are extremely thin and want to gain weight. It’s not always because they’re scared of being fat, it’s because they’re uncomfortable with the naturally thin body they have..... I don’t understand why she acts like skinny women are monolithic
Marissa Matthew’s, condensed: I tried to lose weight in the past and failed. I feel stuck and frustrated, and I project that anger outward as a coping mechanism in the interest of self-survival, cuz looking inward at myself and my choices is too overwhelming and would eat me alive (no pun intended).
a boundary is a quiet promise to YOURSELF aka "okay, if this person treats me in x way that i don't like and i've already discussed this with them *I* will get up and leave" not an order you exert externally to others. that guy was giving her an answer and setting down a boundary but not replying, homegirl just ignored it
Pointing out spelling mistakes being called ableist catapulted me back over a decade to when I got bullied off google + for telling someone piece was not spelled peace. I was 12
I’m not scared that someone will see me and think I’m gross because I’m fat. However I am scared that they might assume I’m as insane and annoying as she is lmao.
Absolutely loved this video. I seriously cannot express how much I appreciate your nuanced, academic approach. Discussions surrounding these spaces can be extremely hostile and borderline impossible. This is a breath of a fresh air. Also, I absolutely loved how many books and papers you brought up, I’ve added many of them to my to-read list. About to binge all your content lmao.
Mika said "Educated people from England who were talking to each other in bars" and I agreed in my head said "yeah, they were probably always rhyming". It really took a few seconds until I realized that she was referring to actual bars😂😭
As a black woman who faces so much in my own life. These fat acceptance “influencers” fucking piss me off. It is such a fallacy to use arguments like “particularly black women” when this movement was founded by white women and white men. It is totally unacceptable for someone like Marissa. She doesn’t know our struggle so leave us the hello alone
Also the boo that fat influencers love to point to is as whole also a racist book. I’ve never heard a black woman talk about this book in a positive light. These ladies are stupid as hell.
PREACH! The audacity to use you as a shield for her benefit is so wrong. To imply that being called fat is the same as the racial discrimination experienced by black women is so out of touch and it pales in comparison.
Ugh I have photosensitive chronic pain and flashing lights can make me either puke or seize. People like Marissa make me hesitant to DM accounts who don’t put a flash warning. Her being pissed off some said she’s not accommodating the person with motion sickness essentially boils down to “fuck your access need”.
Preach, people like Marissa are why I stick to Tumblr and their super effective Tag/Filter/Block systems. I s2g, its a sad fucking day when the trashfire of a 2010's blog site has better accessibility options than Literally Billion Dollar companies 🙃
31:17 it’s funny cuz lettuce is already one of the least nutritious vegetables there is 😂 grilling it defeats its purpose (i.e. adds a refreshing/crunchy taste/texture) unless her only goal is to get more fiber in her diet-if she hates the taste so much she has to sauté it there’s so many healthier alternatives like spinach or cabbage
24:52 "...cuz no message is neutral & no message is presented without context. & you will be inputting your context subconsciously whether you like it or not." Mika, Cool Gang Leader of Squishdom
her saying "just dont watch the video" in response to people asking her to not do spinning videos cuz of motion sickness is so ironic. if shes so pissed at other creators/commenters for their opinions, she should just... not watch/read it. its nobody's job to accommodate her just as its not her job to accommodate others. if she doesnt want to take anyone else into consideration, nobody should have to take her and her screaming into consideration either. like... the fact she just doesnt get that is wild to me. she can turn comments off, she is actively fueling all those comments she hates so much. i turned my comments off on tiktok not even cuz of unwanted harassment, i just didnt want comments, like its not a bad thing to just take ur own mental health into consideration - however, she is too self absorbed to do that because she enjoys "correcting" the commenters
I just wanted to comment to say that I had a not so great day at work and I’m tired but your videos brighten my day while keeping my mind at bay. Thank you for all that you do and the time you put in! Great video as always~💜
found u through adam and have been watching so many videos of yours! imagine my surprise when i found out you graduated from uw! currently there for an english degree and love seeing the same rhetoric books ive had to get for my rhetoric classes. also yay for non-stem uw majors lol 🎉 love ur content
44:55 as someone from ottawa plenty of the dollaramas here have this rule because people (usually high schoolers) shoplift serially so its insane to me that convoluted this into how women wearing bags instead of a purse isnt normalized enough yet
i’m not fat but i am a black women and i’ve been seeing people toss around blackness and it’s issues at every given turn as if that fixes everything somehow. I could write a whole thesis on how disney rides the coattails of brown people when a specific type of race gets “popular” in pop culture. Something that becomes more of a scape goat then an actual act of inclusivity when done badly. So when i say i wasn’t surprised when the screaming white women acting like a toddler when someone disagrees with her brought up black women as if her issues are our issues, i mean that. The scapegoating of black woman or blackness in general for “feminism” or “body positivity” when it’s really her way or the highway is an issue that keeps popping up within liberalism as a whole and I really want it to stop. cause as soon as it happens now we got racist saying that black people are pulling a race card when black people where sleeping on this issue. btw i have no actual links for my statements it’s mostly just my feelings towards these issue and what i have seen within my space!
Maybe I’m wrong and I could be HOWEVER to me Marissa gives spoiled brat when she thinks she’s giving assertive woman. Mean and nasty does not equal boundaries and standing up for yourself.
For someone who insists she’s being silenced, she’s never quiet. She really thought she did something by being verbally abusive to a service worker who had no say so in their store’s policy. She’s so so gross. And none of it has to do with her weight.
@@MikasRhetoric just finished watching this while doing college projects, your opinions and thoughts are always so well thought out and I honestly learn so much. its like when you know you dislike something but you dont have the words to express or back your feelings and everything you say its like almost a "duh" moment for me. I watch all your videos as soon as I can. I honestly end up learning quite a bit often with your resources and references so thanks genuinely. literal edu-tainment
Love seeing Nick Diramio s name on the supporters list- this is exactly what content creators with time and money should be doing for smaller creators!!
And she screamed at an employee who has zero control over what's left in the case for sale, or when Marissa finds the energy to drag herself out to go buy it 😶
Its taken me hours to watch this cuz i had to prepare myself for marissa😂 im disabled so she annoys me for numerous reasons and i just cant handle her 😂😂
Poor Mika's such a hard worker already, & now that Todd + HBomb dropped their new ones, I know she's had to re-arrange her schedule. I want to hear what she has to say about it, but Mika needs time for Mika too. Happy to wait until after this initial activity to get a better dive into the call-out fallout.
So not important, but that shade of lavender looks really nice on you! Also, fab video, I really appreciate your balance of opinion and just straight up statistics/context/exploration and other useful information. Also also (also?), my goodness I've known people like her and they're miserable people.
I’ve had grilled ceasar salad before. When done correctly, it’s actually really good. It gives the salad a smoky flavor without compromising the crunchiness or original flavor. That being said, the restaurant that made it already had unique and interesting dishes and ways of serving things. Like, for example, the iced tea was served as it was hot and steeping. Then, when you thought it was steeped enough, you would pour it into a big glass of ice, yourself. You could pour a glass of iced tea, afterwards. It sounds gimmicky, but it really didn’t feel like it. It was actually really good.
Wilted lettuce is actually pretty good, especially in a stir fry. I like to fry up lettuce, cabbage, or dandelion greens in olive oil or sesame oil. Greens are really absorbent so they often take on the flavor of whatever you cook them in.
Ive had a grilled romaine head in my salad before and it was really good, but i also have been a vegetarian my whole life and love salads so much my parents called me the salad monster😂🤷♀️
@picahudsoniaunflocked5426 haha yeah I liked it as a kid, not exactly sure why🤣🤣🤷♀️ my oldest brother (18yrs older than me, so we didn't grow up together) was the garbage disposal, so I definitely got a better nickname than he did🤣🤣🤣
While I'm really opposed to the idea of respectability, Marissa kinda makes a good case for it. Within her rants there are obviously good points turns out my parents were right when saying "der Ton macht die Musik" (the ton creates the music), it's all lost in the way that she presents and applies those points. It's a shame really
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She wasn’t “setting boundaries “ with dating dude. She was using therapy language to attack him. Gross.
Yeah, I struggled to see where she was going with that. What 'boundries' was she supposed to be setting?
I think it was that she wanted him to confirm plans with her earlier??
Also setting boundaries is not some angry thing that you shout at people when they cross them, unless MAYBE you’ve already established that boundary? You don’t get mad when you have some niche boundary that people would have no way of knowing about. And you don’t follow up on setting your niche boundary by harassing people. If people don’t want to have you in their life because of your boundaries or the way you express them, you’re not compatible in each others lives, so leave it be.
To me, all I can think about was, if she were truly a strong and independent woman, she would be able to initiate the date with the dude on her own, and wouldn’t be so clearly butthurt by the other party not initiating.
@@MollyMargolisBillCipherIsBae excellent point
I find it unsettling that she felt the need to track him across his socials to have the final word, essentially stomping all over his own boundaries of self preservation, in order to have the final word.
Marissa has a platform. Marissa has a following. Marissa does not see a problem with putting people on blast when she feels even the tiniest bit slighted by their actions.
His disinterest in setting up a date with her and cutting communication without "a good reason" is understandable when you line up these details and look at it from a perspective of 'either she's going to retaliate, or she's going to retaliate' and mitigating a smaller loss by not giving her more attention and information to attack with.
she only researches the black experience when it benefits her. the ultimate ick in any activism space.
I am one minute in and already pissed, cussing out a service worker in a pandemic because their employer won't sell you food is nasty behavior. As I tell my five year old, you're allowed to be mad, but that doesn't make it okay to be nasty
lol this was insane of her to do imo… like i understand being mad and struggling with mental health but like girl 😭😭 it doesn’t make it okay to be unhinged in public and getting mad at poor underpaid workers who are not the problem… 🤦🏼♀️ she should have like taken her anger from a situation and tried to understand the root of her problem and took steps to see how she can deal with it in the future .
I'm adopting your mantra for my Inner Child, if that's ok with you. Please + thanks; it's so straightforward + true.
My thoughts exactly. It's horrible enough to have to be a service worker during the pandemic without people being assholes. It's horrible in normal times already. 😭😭😭😭💔
I feel like body positivity should be about all kinds of things/all kinds of bodies: stretch marks, eating disorders, skin “imperfections”, cellulite, aging, skin tones, trans bodies, bodies with visible disabilities, and yes, fat bodies.
We’re all in this objectifying, patriarchal, capitalist, r*cist, transphobic society together. Let’s avoid being divided and conquered. We can and should address the nuances between these different aspects of body negativity, but we can do that with love and compassion, not with comparing or excluding.
Yeah... This is why I stay in the Disability spaces, cause they have been having the conversations about How To Love And Live in your body for DECADES and the literature/research work/philosophy is both far more developed and much harder for corporations to co-opt cause uh... We're all poor and disabled. But yeah if you want some good in depth reading on body positivity, I'd actually go looking over there, waaay more fun
i believe body positivity was orginally for disabled people
Yes! I've been very overweight in the past and I've now lost weight but I have guttate psoriasis all over my body.
There are differences in the stigma and reactions I have received to both, but both affected my self worth, social life, employment and work life, my experience with healthcare and the way society views me
We should be able to come together and share our experiences. Together we are strong and can begin to undo the harmful patterns of stigma, oppression and ableism.
Absolutely! Heavy on the things that are vilified and you can’t change about yourself, that’s what acceptance should be about
Yeah to me when I think of body positivity it’s the song “I’m so sorry that you have to have a body” lol
I dont touch cringe comps. For my own sanity.
The only reason Im watching this video is because I trust you to be fair and measured with an academic cornerstone to build on.
Those are a slippery slope tbh. As soon as you click on them, youtube itches to recommend you alt right content
@@takeyat8840This. The cringe comp to alt right Pipeline needs to be studied because a lot of "cringe" in those compilations are just subtle bigotry
My biggest issue with Marissa and other FAs in her corner is that they scream from their podium about how they are oppressed and to make space for fat bodies BUT in the same brearh, turn around and tell others that their body issues don't matter if they are smaller than her. Like, it doesn't matter if you're skinny or fat, if you are smaller, your issues and concerns don't matter. 😂
I think the problem a lot of FAs have is that insecurities aren't the same as discrimination. Like any person can feel bad about their bodies, but only specific people are literally denied, for example, basic healthcare because of the way their body looks.
I *hate* the culture of “it’s not my job to teach you” and “google is free”. Like, yeah, I understand that not every single person is a teacher or activist, but if I’m coming in with zero context or approaching a topic I’ve never encountered, it’s counterproductive to just say “google it”. Where do I start?
Good point. I’ve said that in the past & it is not helpful. Keywords rule the wrist
It’s absurd to me because she says she is an activist. By that logic it is her self proclaimed job to educate people lmao
"Google is free"
And it's also going to feed you answers depending on how you phrase your query. Even changing ONE word can be the difference in your top ten results, so the self education route can go in the opposite direction of what M thinks it will.
It's wild to me that she'll scream and cry about 'It's not my job to teach you' while touting herself as some educator to the unwashed masses on why they're bad people for not propping her up as a God.
Like, yes, folks should try to do their own research, but also sometimes they need a direction or clarification.
For example, a friend of mine has a Transformers fan story where everyone is human (drawing robots is hard) and I've been playing in the sandbox. I made a character Pakistani and Muslim and I wanted his girlfriend who was not to have a dog that he would be okay to be around. I remembered reading that salukis were the one breed that were considered "halal" and I went online to double-check. Then I went to my friend (who is Muslim herself) to chat with her about it and she actually clarified for me that it's actually more nuanced than that, being more about wet dogs/dog saliva/rabies, and that it can also depend on sects and how conservative the person is. Although saluki are always deemed as acceptable.
I think you shouldnbe able to gather if the person is asking in earnest, or if explaining the thing is a waste of everyone's time. This is why we need more social learning for alo humans. And less sarcasm, as it is hard to read.
As a therapist I’ve noticed online creators use therapy language to justify themselves being rude or coming off abrasive as “setting boundaries” or “communicating effectively” which also negatively impacts those who use therapy and attempt to assert boundaries/communicate. It sounds like this individual seems really triggered by online spaces and they’re definitely not easy to be within. But I appreciate that you pointed out that the problem does lie with her and how she approaches these conversations. So many people miss the point of asserting boundaries and communicating doesn’t have to be hurtful or harmful in their delivery. I can understand her frustrations and feelings of being attacked but also I can see that comments trigger her and she either enjoys responding to them or feels that there’s no further growth that she can make (from my observation/opinion). Great work Mika!!
I like to call this phenomenon weaponised healing, often times I see people justify being emotionally unavailable and rude and just a dickhead in general all in the name of “setting boundaries” and self care. I understand that having the emotional energy to be reciprocal in friendships is something that can be tough and inconsistent (hell I have bpd) but you need to be there for the ones you love, support shouldn’t only be one way
God, how I hate the term "marginalised bodies".... It's so dehumanising, like we are all just slabs of meat
And “living in a larger body”. They all use identical phrases and it makes them sound so stupid because they don’t have their own opinion. Internalised fat phobia, marginalised body, rooted in racism and patriarchy. It’s utterly ridiculous
Thanks for the shoutout! Fearing the Black Body is a history thesis so it's not an easy read for non-historians/academics. You are correct that intersectionality exists between racism and fatphobia - that can be easily seen with racist icons like the mammy character. There were so many legit points that were missed or overlooked by Strings so the Fearing Book is a miss for sure. Love your stuff by the way! 😊
Thank YOU for breaking down the book so well!!
She has the same energy as creepshow art or fannita. Their delivery in their argument is what turns people away. And in Marissas case, you can see why shes so upset but that frustration isn’t transformative to anyone’s mindset.
CSA was a bully but I never saw/heard her have a Marissa meltdown!
Marissa - "We shouldn't marginalize voices of marginalized people!"
Also Marissa - "Your opinion and experience must match mine perfectly or it's getting deleted!"
I'm critical of her and also a person with a disability with lifelong weight problems. If I were to leave a critical comment and got deleted, wouldn't the type of voice she says society needs to listen to be marginalized by her own action? She fails to realize that she doesnt champion marginalized people; she champions marginalized people who ALSO agree with her.
She's immature and shouldn't speak for anyone.
She only champions herself in my opinion. I feel like she uses her idea of activism to be a bully.
WOO!!! thank you for the video!
Now, I do want to add specific context for the "spinning" thing, i.e. It's A Disability Thing Marissa Ignored
I have chronic migraines, and while I literally know *nothing* about the specific critique or criticism she received on that video, from what I got in her response, it sounds like she was either asked to 1) stop making spinning videos or 2) [more likely] to TAG them.
Having chronic migraines means I'm a part of greater disability community, including both the Seizure community and the fat activist community (did you know some migraines are actually seizure conditions? I didn't)
I say all this to say, Spinning videos, just like flashing lights *often are triggers for Seizures, Migraines and Vertigo*
Now pair this with Fat Activism which has MAJOR overlap with the disability community, not in the least because depending on your meds, you might gain significant amounts of weight and still be subject to medical fatphobia despite doctors literally knowing the exact cause of your weight gain...
Thus my hypothesis, whomever was criticizing her about the spinning was a member of her own community, likely reaching out because they enjoyed the content and asked for an accessibility tag so they could continue to safely follow. And we saw the result.
I wanted to call this out specifically, because "spinning" sounds ridiculous UNLESS you know that spinning is a specific known trigger for major illnesses.
Anyway! If you got this far, hope you are having a good day, my cats have decided to nap on their tower at the same time and it's super super cute
Additionally, a lot of my specific Disability communities hang out on Tumblr, which has a culture of Tag Everything. There are blogs that explicitly state when they will or won't tag, in order to communicate whether that particular need can be met, but the expectation is that it's up the the individual. The key difference here is it's made explicit AND Tumblr has a robust blocking system where specific content can be blocked *even if not tagged for*, unlike Tiktok. I hope that makes sense!
Yes!! Thank you for saying this. I have both epilepsy and migraines, spinning can completely disorient me and make me throw up. I find it very ironic that she is quick to call other people ableist- but when someone requests pretty basic accessibility measures, it is a huge problem...?
My cats are also napping together on their tower
@@cryptkeeper69 we stan critter cats who nap together o7
Marissa is self-aggrandizing and her videos are her rehearsing comebacks for people she imagines meeting in real life. I think in her head, she wants an audience of people who wish they were as brave and strong as her in anger, and will watch to live vicariously through her "clap backs." This is a very common personal fable on TikTok and VERY common with white BoPo/HAES people. Even Tess is a lot like this but it works because she has SOME charisma.
yes, i thought she was a lot like tess too! it gave twitter clapbacks!
I am a Quality Assurance Auditor and a part of training at my company for auditors involves how to frame findings and recommendations and talking to coworkers. If you speak to people respectfully you will find they will be more receptive to what you have to say. As you say Marissa's 'I will speak to you as if you are stupid' voice instantly raises hackles and any points she makes are lost, because you are simply less inclined to put up with her.
One time, I wasn’t in the mood to write a ten page paper to explain why someone’s idea about trans athletes was wrong. The person also literally said “that’s too long I’m not reading” on another, more compact response I made. So I sent them a well-done video with a bibliography of sources to prove the essayist did the research and I got back “wtf, this only proves YOUR point”.
…. Why would I proved them with evidence (or lack of) that proved their point? Also, the video I sent was a response video to someone making the points they were. It was just responding to how those points were wrong based on said scientific evidence
Hahaha this is the funniest thing ever... "this only proves your point" - interesting, so my point is proven?
Marissa: im an activist!
Also Marissa: its not my job to teach you
😂😂😂
You starting back up on long form content after your internship while i start mine within the next few weeks feels fair and unfair at the same time🤣
thank you for the shoutout to writing centers - I worked at my college’s writing center and it’s still the most satisfying job I’ve ever had. They’re such an underrated resource
People like Marissa are interesting because they’re the first to claim discrimination, but then turn around and discriminate against sick/disabled people because they vehemently refute that they are sick and/or disabled.
Marissa does say she is disabled a few times later in the video but this type of person definitely exists.
Exactyyyy, zero space or comprehension for any other people even within her own community or intersection. It drives me insane
She really dismissed vertigo while acting like she's been dismissed 😂
Fun fact: you don't know a video has someone spinning until you see it 🤦🏻♀️
People are very dismissive of vertigo but a lot of triggers come up unexpectedly and it can be absolutely debilitating. But she's so about marginalized people so I'm obviously lying or something 🙄
For real!!! I have migraines and spinning is one of my triggers. I went to see Spiderverse 2 on a "good" day and had to take my meds as soon as I got home. Solidarity, people dismissing disabilities, even as they themselves suffer from discrimination is the fucking worst
She is about herself!
Marissa Mathews is someone who's convinced she's never done anything wrong, ever, and is incredibly mad that the rest of the world doesn't fall in line with that.
I want to know if she has friends. She’s so abrasive and rude I can’t imagine anyone willingly being around her
Lol that was one of my first thoughts too. She must not be getting laid. No man could stand that bad attitude!
If she does, they're people just like her or they're people that want to be like her.
everyone saying this is tone policing as if she didn’t specifically say “this is my stupid person voice” and purposely put on the worlds most annoying, grating, shove a knife in my ear voice to insult people with just mild criticism or confusion about her
I think a lot of people could benefit from realizing they aren't able to handle being a public figure. As a public figure theres a lot of positives but also a ton of negatives. People are going to dislike you, criticize your options and beliefs, push back against your opinions and beliefs, be mean etc. Its okay to not be able to handle that and log off and not make content anymore. I see people like Marissa who are constantly yelling, cussing, being passive aggressive all the time on TikTok the most because of the option to make video responses to comments and they can't handle it.
YES. I was visible in a highly niche tiny scene + the "public-ness", even as minor as mine, just made my head spin. I wasn't healthy or prepared for that. It was hard bc I loved loved loved the actual labour I did.
the idea that fat acceptance was started by black, fat women is a complete falsehood, and i think that marissa took it as gospel without actually looking into it. fat acceptance was started by two white men who wanted to be accepted for loving bigger women. like you said, they're pulling from fearing the black body, but i don't believe they're really reading or understanding it.
Yes, this has always confused me, they keep saying this but never name any of these women, guess this explains why
Just starting the vid so apologies if this is addressed later on, but Marissa saying that body positivity is not for skinny people is ableist. I’m not just throwing around words, all disabled bodies, fat, skinny and everything in between are not respected in society. People with height related disabilities like gigantism and dwarfism are often treated as subhuman and their bodies are not respected while they are alive and while they are dead. People with facial deformities face a sort of social ugly law where abled body people except them to shut themselves away for the comfort of abled people. And there’s so much more. That clip alone shows me that Marissa is unable to sympathize with people who experience other forms of oppression and abuse. It’s all me me me. Body positivity is all about me and my experiences, despite there being enough room for everyone in the movement.
🙌🙌🙌
She doesn't care she's just a narcissist who needs to be a victim somehow as she wasn't born in a way that gets her a victim card
I immideately think about marfan syndrome, where you're tall and thin
I can see where someone would be coming from with that logic though. Like I have said similar things but it's more about the skinny Bopo creators who will complain that they have a roll when they sit down or they have hip dips or something. Like co-opting the bopo movement to be about their own hyper-specific insecurities instead of actual discrimination. I'm not defending her, just the sentiment behind the statement. Like If I heard a disabled person say "the Bopo movement isnt for able-bodied people" I wouldn't automatically assume they meant like black/trans/fat/etc people can't be discriminated against for their bodies.
@@Hannahgs you are defending her and don't understand what the entire movement is about just like her it started with disabilities and moved on to letting people be comfortable in their own skin. Hip dips often come with many autoimmune conditions or joint conditions it's not always just a harmless dent. But you didn't both doing any research before you were an asshole
My main criticism of Marissa is that she chooses not to private her platforms. She knows she has controversial opinions, she does not like to receive feedback from others that doesn’t perfectly align with her views, and she doesn’t get enough views on her TikTok to be making meaningful income from having a public platform. It feels like by keeping her account public she’s just fuelling a victim complex she has. I think there is a part of her that feels powerless so she likes to have an excuse to go off on people all the time.
right, like she could just block that person "giving her unwanted health advice." lack of responsibility for one's own online experience.
she was the first person i ever blocked on tiktok. i saw a video of hers saying "white thin people need to sit down and shut up because the bopo movement is for fat people, people of color and other people in marginalized bodies". i commented asking if she thought skinny white disabled bodies belonged in the bopo movement because her tiktok was confusing. and instead of answering my question she called me insecure
Just wanted to say, I'm up to my armpits in a formal report and I appreciate you speaking on rhetoric SO much. It's definitely helped form my views on how I persuade my audience in my writings and when I'm reviewing the writing of others. Part of my report includes dismantling the rhetoric of an opposition group's lazy propaganda and your videos have been instrumental in my writing for this project 😘💕
You nailed exactly what my frustration is. It's the using it to deflect all criticism. I believe Sam at every size also noted that the "fat Black women who started this movement" is also most likely not true and just a repeated falsehood.
spoiler: they're 3 white men
funtie times has a video about the origins of fat acceptance, and spoiler, it was started by white men who wanted their love for their fat wives be normalised and 1 journalist (also a white man), i dont remember their names but it was listed out in her video
notice how whenever FAs talk about the black women that started the fat acceptance movement, you would think they would know their names but not a single name of a black woman was ever mentioned
her going off about that guy not respecting boundaries she never set, while going out of her way to violate his boundaries he set by blocking her makes me wanna snap
ok also she claims to be recovering from being a people pleaser, i just wanna say there is literally no way this woman has every been a people pleaser LMAO i’m a chronic people pleaser, because i’m shy and meek and i hate telling people anything they won’t be 100% happy with. she is rude, aggressive, abrasive and and clearly thrives off of conflict and playing the victim. basically everything a people pleaser is not lol😭
Actually I can kinda see it but it's not recovery, it's her snapping from one extreme to the other. I can totally see someone who struggles with people pleasing, setting boundaries, low self esteem and worth, etc, eventually snapping and instead of taking any productive lessons from their past experiences lets the negative unaddressed built up emotions shape them into a bitter aggressive person who doesn't care anymore, to a fault. Getting high on feeling like their finally free and taking it too far. Happened to me.
TW I mention SA here but nothing explicit or detailed.
I literally became a different person after getting bullied so bad it eventually led to a sexual assault and I formed a really bad coping mechanism: not caring and becoming extremely unempathetic and aggressive to people around me. Luckily I recognised it quick and I'm still young so am working on being a reasonable nice but still strong calm person without resorting to my past pushover self, healing ig. But it is hard, letting go of anger. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt on this one, healthy happy unhurt people don't behave this way. She's clearly been hurt by something/s. Doesn't excuse her ofc and definitely not assuming she needed to go through anything as extreme as I did, but it's not unbelievable she could have changed for the worse instead of healing.
@@ByAzuraByAzuraByAzura To the OP:the key word is recovering, we don’t see it because she’s hiding it. And to you: I agree, let’s be real, she’s definitely been bullied, and that anger is so built up in her that she can’t keep it from spilling out any longer.
I feel like you nailed the issue on the head there at the end. When people co opt conversations about intersectionality to make their point, they often do more harm than good by taking attention away from the people who live that reality (in this case fat, black women).
i always wonder if someone just FEELS the nutty things that come out of their mouths, "if you you dislike me, you're racist towards black women" ???? hello???
girl thought she could compare her experiences to people who experienced literal colonialism, enslavement, and mass incarceration in america. sickening
I feel bad for her not being able to keep her backpack in the store and therefore not being able to have her purse. I'm fortunate enough to have these things called hands that help me carry stuff so I can't imagine how distressful of a situation this must be.
i usually dont comment on yt but i gotta say your eyeshadow is SO GOOD in this video. i especially like how it matches with what your wearing too
I love that you used Sam and Megan as resources. I recently discovered them and I really do love their content and format. I know 1 is on a weight-loss journey and I wish them well and hope they succeed.
ooh a fellow sam and megan watcher! they're my moms!
don't also forget kayla shaye, mom no. 3! i love them three as they criticize FAs and use facts, logic, and their stories as a way to disprove their lies and misinfo
@stevanboi5980 I've don't think I've heard of them but I'll put them all on my watch list but yess
Im an english/writing tutor at my local community college, and this semester has almost broken me LOL ive had so many rude students and ones that make it super clear they would rather be anywhere else. it was really reaffirming to hear you say you learned more from TWC than any of your classes!! Tutoring is not easy but i love my students so so much, and knowing they go on and are impacted further means so much.
(Sorry if it wasnt this video hehe i watched it and couldnt comment at that moment so i THINK i got the right one)
Yes this is the right video!!
52:21
It’s absolutely insane that she thinks all people who are skinny, are insecure about potentially being fat. Has she ever talk to more than 1 person who’s thin?& Actually try to understand where they were coming from?If she had she would see the great variance in experience. A lot of women who are extremely thin, want to gain weight. I’ve had a few friends in my life, who are extremely thin and want to gain weight. It’s not always because they’re scared of being fat, it’s because they’re uncomfortable with the naturally thin body they have..... I don’t understand why she acts like skinny women are monolithic
Marissa Matthew’s, condensed: I tried to lose weight in the past and failed. I feel stuck and frustrated, and I project that anger outward as a coping mechanism in the interest of self-survival, cuz looking inward at myself and my choices is too overwhelming and would eat me alive (no pun intended).
“You are actively harming me by giving unsolicited advice.”
Gorl.
a boundary is a quiet promise to YOURSELF aka "okay, if this person treats me in x way that i don't like and i've already discussed this with them *I* will get up and leave" not an order you exert externally to others. that guy was giving her an answer and setting down a boundary but not replying, homegirl just ignored it
Pointing out spelling mistakes being called ableist catapulted me back over a decade to when I got bullied off google + for telling someone piece was not spelled peace. I was 12
Her calling him a man child when she’s exhibiting the MOST childish behavior is almost comical
I’m not scared that someone will see me and think I’m gross because I’m fat. However I am scared that they might assume I’m as insane and annoying as she is lmao.
An hour long?? Bless you my Canadian queen
Yeah, I always thought it was suspicious that everyone references the same book for their argument.
TikTok is annoying because literally every annoying person can have a platform.
Absolutely loved this video. I seriously cannot express how much I appreciate your nuanced, academic approach. Discussions surrounding these spaces can be extremely hostile and borderline impossible. This is a breath of a fresh air.
Also, I absolutely loved how many books and papers you brought up, I’ve added many of them to my to-read list. About to binge all your content lmao.
Mika said "Educated people from England who were talking to each other in bars" and I agreed in my head said "yeah, they were probably always rhyming". It really took a few seconds until I realized that she was referring to actual bars😂😭
LMAO the way you just accepted "yeah the English are definitely spitting bars to each other that makes sense"
@@TheSlamMiles Truly not one of my brightest moments😭
As a black woman who faces so much in my own life. These fat acceptance “influencers” fucking piss me off. It is such a fallacy to use arguments like “particularly black women” when this movement was founded by white women and white men. It is totally unacceptable for someone like Marissa. She doesn’t know our struggle so leave us the hello alone
Also the boo that fat influencers love to point to is as whole also a racist book. I’ve never heard a black woman talk about this book in a positive light. These ladies are stupid as hell.
PREACH! The audacity to use you as a shield for her benefit is so wrong. To imply that being called fat is the same as the racial discrimination experienced by black women is so out of touch and it pales in comparison.
Ugh I have photosensitive chronic pain and flashing lights can make me either puke or seize. People like Marissa make me hesitant to DM accounts who don’t put a flash warning. Her being pissed off some said she’s not accommodating the person with motion sickness essentially boils down to “fuck your access need”.
Preach, people like Marissa are why I stick to Tumblr and their super effective Tag/Filter/Block systems. I s2g, its a sad fucking day when the trashfire of a 2010's blog site has better accessibility options than Literally Billion Dollar companies 🙃
She has serious vibes of someone who berates minimum wage workers EDIT: WOW JUST GOT TO THAT PART LMAO
31:17 it’s funny cuz lettuce is already one of the least nutritious vegetables there is 😂 grilling it defeats its purpose (i.e. adds a refreshing/crunchy taste/texture) unless her only goal is to get more fiber in her diet-if she hates the taste so much she has to sauté it there’s so many healthier alternatives like spinach or cabbage
purple is so your colour!! the eyeshadow and the hoodie ❤
omg ur eyeshadow looks GORGEOUS
It’s the Croc Grimace Slides inspired 🫡
24:52 "...cuz no message is neutral & no message is presented without context. & you will be inputting your context subconsciously whether you like it or not."
Mika, Cool Gang Leader of Squishdom
12:50 “when reading your essay, or watching your tiktok video”
so funny how u make this academic rhetoric digestible
Absolutely totally unrelated to the topic at hand but your eye makeup is so gorgeous omg so sparkly and the colour is my fav. Looks awesome
her saying "just dont watch the video" in response to people asking her to not do spinning videos cuz of motion sickness is so ironic. if shes so pissed at other creators/commenters for their opinions, she should just... not watch/read it. its nobody's job to accommodate her just as its not her job to accommodate others. if she doesnt want to take anyone else into consideration, nobody should have to take her and her screaming into consideration either. like... the fact she just doesnt get that is wild to me. she can turn comments off, she is actively fueling all those comments she hates so much. i turned my comments off on tiktok not even cuz of unwanted harassment, i just didnt want comments, like its not a bad thing to just take ur own mental health into consideration - however, she is too self absorbed to do that because she enjoys "correcting" the commenters
I just wanted to comment to say that I had a not so great day at work and I’m tired but your videos brighten my day while keeping my mind at bay. Thank you for all that you do and the time you put in! Great video as always~💜
Her being rude to the Tim Hortons dude is all you need to know about her.
found u through adam and have been watching so many videos of yours! imagine my surprise when i found out you graduated from uw! currently there for an english degree and love seeing the same rhetoric books ive had to get for my rhetoric classes. also yay for non-stem uw majors lol 🎉 love ur content
OH MY GOD AMAZING!!!!
An hour of content?! This is the best day ever
I’ve never seen your videos before, but god this was so well informed, intelligent and logical. I love
44:55 as someone from ottawa plenty of the dollaramas here have this rule because people (usually high schoolers) shoplift serially so its insane to me that convoluted this into how women wearing bags instead of a purse isnt normalized enough yet
i’m not fat but i am a black women and i’ve been seeing people toss around blackness and it’s issues at every given turn as if that fixes everything somehow. I could write a whole thesis on how disney rides the coattails of brown people when a specific type of race gets “popular” in pop culture. Something that becomes more of a scape goat then an actual act of inclusivity when done badly.
So when i say i wasn’t surprised when the screaming white women acting like a toddler when someone disagrees with her brought up black women as if her issues are our issues, i mean that. The scapegoating of black woman or blackness in general for “feminism” or “body positivity” when it’s really her way or the highway is an issue that keeps popping up within liberalism as a whole and I really want it to stop. cause as soon as it happens now we got racist saying that black people are pulling a race card when black people where sleeping on this issue.
btw i have no actual links for my statements it’s mostly just my feelings towards these issue and what i have seen within my space!
Maybe I’m wrong and I could be HOWEVER to me Marissa gives spoiled brat when she thinks she’s giving assertive woman. Mean and nasty does not equal boundaries and standing up for yourself.
9:17 “That angry feeling in your tummy…” GOODNESS i felt that so hard
Oof. That ''I think you're stupid'' voice. I definitely can't handle that.
calls people ableist
constantly refers to people as 'stupid'
The purple eyeshadow matching the hoodie in this is a slay
For someone who insists she’s being silenced, she’s never quiet. She really thought she did something by being verbally abusive to a service worker who had no say so in their store’s policy. She’s so so gross. And none of it has to do with her weight.
toujours aussi intéréssant mika merci beaucoup super vidéo
An hour long video and it's not even xmas yet, omg thnak you for taking the time, love your videos so much
Mika, I find your videos to be so valuable! You always get me thinking beyond the video. Also I like your lavendar aesthetic :)
YESS i love your videos i just KNOW this will be good ty mika. the day u dont upload ill be heartbroken, ty for uploading
Honestly I really needed to hear that rn
@@MikasRhetoric just finished watching this while doing college projects, your opinions and thoughts are always so well thought out and I honestly learn so much. its like when you know you dislike something but you dont have the words to express or back your feelings and everything you say its like almost a "duh" moment for me. I watch all your videos as soon as I can. I honestly end up learning quite a bit often with your resources and references so thanks genuinely. literal edu-tainment
"i shouldn't have to block you for you to respect me saying no" WHAT??? LOL JUST BLOCK THEM
Love seeing Nick Diramio s name on the supporters list- this is exactly what content creators with time and money should be doing for smaller creators!!
another banger mika!!
Omg omg omg I love seeing you talk about this
hey kayla!!
Oof, she actually said f-- Trudeau because the Timmy's wasn't serving food?
And she screamed at an employee who has zero control over what's left in the case for sale, or when Marissa finds the energy to drag herself out to go buy it 😶
Ik this doesn’t have anything to do with the video but the purple is so lovely on you!
Its taken me hours to watch this cuz i had to prepare myself for marissa😂 im disabled so she annoys me for numerous reasons and i just cant handle her 😂😂
Ottawa?? Insane. I loved this series, you’re amazing mika!
Poor Mika's such a hard worker already, & now that Todd + HBomb dropped their new ones, I know she's had to re-arrange her schedule.
I want to hear what she has to say about it, but Mika needs time for Mika too. Happy to wait until after this initial activity to get a better dive into the call-out fallout.
So not important, but that shade of lavender looks really nice on you!
Also, fab video, I really appreciate your balance of opinion and just straight up statistics/context/exploration and other useful information.
Also also (also?), my goodness I've known people like her and they're miserable people.
I would recommend belly of the beast as a good text, linking fat phobia to racism
gotta be careful though because they quote sabrina strings, whom samateverysize debunked in her video
Love the grimace fit
This video was so so well made
I gotta get that book!
for once i know nothing abt the ppl involved in this
what a treat 😌😌
"divorced dadcore" has me in tears
Binging your videos and i just wanna say that i love that your kids make me feel like im in a good lecture
I’ve had grilled ceasar salad before. When done correctly, it’s actually really good. It gives the salad a smoky flavor without compromising the crunchiness or original flavor.
That being said, the restaurant that made it already had unique and interesting dishes and ways of serving things. Like, for example, the iced tea was served as it was hot and steeping. Then, when you thought it was steeped enough, you would pour it into a big glass of ice, yourself. You could pour a glass of iced tea, afterwards.
It sounds gimmicky, but it really didn’t feel like it. It was actually really good.
Wilted lettuce is actually pretty good, especially in a stir fry. I like to fry up lettuce, cabbage, or dandelion greens in olive oil or sesame oil. Greens are really absorbent so they often take on the flavor of whatever you cook them in.
I really really love your makeup in this one!!
Ive had a grilled romaine head in my salad before and it was really good, but i also have been a vegetarian my whole life and love salads so much my parents called me the salad monster😂🤷♀️
That's adorable for a nickname.
@picahudsoniaunflocked5426 haha yeah I liked it as a kid, not exactly sure why🤣🤣🤷♀️ my oldest brother (18yrs older than me, so we didn't grow up together) was the garbage disposal, so I definitely got a better nickname than he did🤣🤣🤣
While I'm really opposed to the idea of respectability, Marissa kinda makes a good case for it. Within her rants there are obviously good points turns out my parents were right when saying "der Ton macht die Musik" (the ton creates the music), it's all lost in the way that she presents and applies those points. It's a shame really