The part about victimology really resonates with me. I was raised in a very violent & abusive household. As I grew up, I was always trying to hide the truth about who I felt I was & what I thought my experiences said about me. I dressed impeccably well, always, I had excellent manners, I became well read, I was funny, I made sure to never make other people uncomfortable. HOWEVER: this meant I was so busy looking at myself in my efforts to be perfect & self protect, I didn't pay enough attention to other people. I didn't learn patterns of predators, I had no proper boundaries or sense of self. I experienced a lot of horrific traumas, none of them were my fault, but some of them I could have been avoided had I not been conditioned to tolerate certain things from childhood & then kept having that reinforced by repeated experiences. It took me many decades to get to the point where I am safe & able to fully care for, & protect, myself. I thank Lisa for her excellent content, I love Evy & I have learned so much from her. Even though I've probably seen every interview she's done, & more than once, I have just bought her book & can't wait to read it!
Growing up in a family of Narcissists and being the scapegoat, you try all these things to be perfect but the problem lies in you were conditioned. Being abused was normalized. I didn't get it till I started learning about Narcissism 10 yrs ago and continue to learn. Jill Wise @ The Enlightened Target and Dr Ramani are excellent teachers. Edit: you have to cut ties with anyone who's not respectful to you.
“My goal isn’t how I want someone to feel about me, but what do I want? What do I want my end result to be? How do I navigate my conversation to get to that point?” That spoke to me so deeply.
Me too. That was a lightbulb moment. Thinking that way also takes the pressure off fearing making the wrong impression. I waste too much time worrying what people think about me when I know I come across nicely. Now I’m going to focus more on goals and results.
So you always have a a motivation when you want to meet someone? To me that seems alterior motivation. I don't know how I feel about that.i know in life your attracted to people for different reasons.amd now I'm questioning my motivations.most are positive but there's a few that I don't know.
The sad part about this entire conversation is not the fact that a person has to adjust themselves for each situation but it’s the fact that people are completely clueless how their subconscious influences the way they treat others. We’re being manipulated everyday without even realizing it.
I feel sorry for people with autism! Specially level 1’s neurodivergent. The verbal ones. So misunderstood! Their facial expressions are naturally under expressed; or overly expressed. They are judged way too harsh. And many are under diagnosed.
But yes this is why there is school smart and being street smart. Self and social awareness. You can’t be naive, evil does exist. Wisdom is best lived not just spoken. Be high vibrational and do your best to spread love. Be the change you want to see. You can’t change everyone. You can inspire. You know what you can do , question is will you respond to the call and do something with your life? I won’t judge you but what’s the point of being aware of this and still operating as if you weren’t. You can change the world just by making someone smile today.
0:45 Ppl judge u what they see, appearance 1:20Think abt the audience, many versions+ 2:30 Goal is What do I want? 3:30 3:50 Be Competent & Warm 4:50 its not about me, Gain info 6:07 Find good qualities in ppl 7:05 everybody lies, something within them 8:15 emotional self assessment 8:55 What could I have done to change the outcome 9:10 24 Hour Rule, Walk away 9:35 Reacting vs Responding, 10:15 tactical 10:38 Use stress to cope, Introduce Disruptors 13:30 Gut feeling 14:30 robbed, be rude 16:00 Trust your instict self 16:30 Proactive Planning & Preparation 16:57 Be Prepared Plan ABC, Know Proactive 17:43 Preparing, and then What Ifs 18:15 Embrace confrontation 19:00 Articulate & Disagree with them 19:30 Let them vent, Wait it out then have a convo 20:00 Look confrontation as a challenge20:30 Confront ppl what dont feel right 21:25 G20 Summit 23:00 she didnt expected, 23:30 Queen 24:30 violence 25:00 Being disrespected 25:45 You first Self Awareness 26:29 26:50 fighting everybody is exhausting 27:50 different lvls of disrespect, Ppl will test u if u keep allowing the 28;45 You teach ppl how to treat you 29:35 Conditional 30:25 Unconditional Trust 31:25 if ur open, 31:51 inner circle, have ppl audition 32:20 once theyre in, dont let them disrespect u 33:3034:15 Discipline someone in private34:45 35:10 Own what u can do 35:40 Have quality ppl, 36:05 U get what u tolerate 36:25 be done with them36:40 Know to walk away 37:45 Confidence Competent Habit 38:30 How you speak to urself, How you think to yourself 39:15 habits, internal dialogue 39:5040:30 Framing positive words 42:50 Find urself in the present now 43:30 here there, we alrdy have it 44:30 Write down what uve accomplished 45:00 Start with You first 46:59 Write down 47:30 Overprepare 49:27 Be honest with yourself 50:37 Hold urself accountable, dont shame urself 51:50 no need to apologize 52:30 im sorry i hurt u but I said what I mean 53:40 Dont dump ur drama on ppl 54:19 Be humble 55:05 Be with ppl who handle pressure well 56:30 Dont follow mimic other ppl 57:01Be silent, move away from that situation 57:30 Assert yourself 58:25 Set the tone as an authority 59:05 no tolerance on clows 1:00:09 Be aware of the words u use 1:00:32 Choose the words u let out thoughtfully 1:1:20 Words matter and have weight 1:2:00 Opening line u must memorize 1:2:40 Never negotiate across them on a table 1:4:00 Dating 1:5:00 When ur under pressure, breathe pause & think about the other person 1:6:10 Be prepared 1:6:35 Do what u can control 1:7:07 Have protocols u can prepare on situations 1:7:50 Take ownership 1:8:20 blaming gives away ur power 1:9:00 be the captain of ur ship 1:10:44 Question any authority 1:11:09 You choose ur decisions 1:11:30 dont be a victim 1:12:17 victimology 1:12:42 it's about assessing, always u 1:13:58 What are u doing that make ppl treat u this way? 1:14:50 hermitology stress handling 1:15:40 u know ppl by how they handle stress 1:16:58 entitlement labeling 1:18:02 Who do you let in, Who do you keep out? 1:18:41 Know which opinions matter to u or not 1:19:30 Our mental chatter distracts us 1:20:15 Be honest with yourself 1:20:50 be so good ppl cant ignore u 1:21:20 respect is a gift 1:21:50 confessions no proof or not confessing 1:22:45 Find ways to show that you're in charge, I'm the boss 1:23:55 Speak with confidence & act with strength, authority, certainty 1:24:23 Power & strength starts in the mind 1:24:42 Ur gonna be limping back 1:25:45 Paralinguistics what do u sound like when u deliver ur information? 1:26:07 what do they hear & perceive u as? 1:26:31 believe in what ur saying 1:26:50 deal with adversity repetition, habits version 1:27:30 2 types of personas to watch out for 1:28:00 justifying to do something bad1:29:00 1:29:15 self righteousness 1:29:50 look at how other ppl treat u, it will come back to u 1:30:19 Look at their characteristics 1:30:55 any trigger can be a weakness 1:31:25 Acknowledge it 1:31:52 u just disrespected 1:32:30 with family its just who they are 1:33:05 dont take it personal 1:33:32 betrayal 1:34:00 if they cross line 1:34:45 dont suppress that 1:35:25 Everybody is looking at their self interest 1:35:50 dont be a victim 1:36:20 Be aware of what language u use 1:37:00 Speak when not angry in what that they understand 1:37:35 How she speaks to them 1:38:18 1:39:06 Body Language, Verbal Language, Paralinguistics+ 1:41:00 Bring out a part of you that works with them 1:41:45 Pay attention & listen1:42:30 Ask questions 1:43:25 dont make assumptions as facts 1:43:54 Be unbiased, find the truth 1:44:18 confirmation bias u could be wrong1:44:46 1:45:09 she got what she wanted 1:45:50 Assess human behavior, know their baseline & deviations Body Language 1:46:30 questioning changed convos1:47:18 Curious 1:47:35 stressed out body gives out info 1:47:55 eye contact, concerned about look away 1:48:20 Verbal Language 1:48:48 Lies, ommission, stalling. 1:49:10 i i i 1:50:00 Paralinguistics how we say them, vague lies 1:50:30 Be curious about ppl, what matters to them
I was followed twice when I was a young teen. The first time, I knocked on a strangers door and asked for help. The second I stopped at a store and told the owner and he helped me. 🙏🏻 Schools must teach children to ask for help. I was never, but I used my instinct and fast thinking on a plan.
Parents taught common sense years ago. You did the right thing. When in danger remove yourself from the situation. Your safety is your responsibility. Always be aware of your surroundings. Situational awareness listening and intuition. The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker 💥 Safe People by Henry Cloud Boundaries by Henry Cloud I Hear You by Michael Sorenson Without Conscience by Robert D Hare Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter Ken Reid has informative podcasts on attachment styles. Know yourself and your attachment style Sam Vaknin has educational podcasts on Cluster B disorders and other mental health topics. David Tian and Sam Vaknin have educational podcasts on The Red Pill and Alpha Males 5 Boundaries You Must Set With Men by Jonathon Aslay podcast 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goldman The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk
The underlying theme that I get is: you can't be in control of everything (esp. how people perceive or treat you) but you have control over yourself (how you look, behave, think, talk). So it makes sense that you focus on bettering yourself. Expecting people to think or behave a certain way will most likely lead to conflict.
The first thing you said, helped so many women. }If that’s what you sound like, then fix it!” Have to pause and go practice being more assertive and authoritative. I tend to be timid.
Removing emotion and calculating what you want out of a person, and giving them a version of yourself that will manipulate your desired effect is how most of us ended up on the self help end of youtube. Unless you are trying to get the truth out of a murder because your job depends on it you should probably leave these tactics alone and just be the best version of yourself and if someone wants to play manipulative games with you just tell them to have a nice day and keep it moving. Don't take on psychopathic traits with the hope of being mentally well. If someone that you have to deal with is this level of toxicity shut down commuication and work on your exit plan.
Being “the best version of yourself” requires that you think of yourself as a particular thing. But the truth is that we’re all multifaceted. So which is the best version? Probably, the one that does the best job of doing what’s good for self and others. What does that mean? Adjusting to the particular situation. We all do it. What she does is just more intentional than most. Consider that she said you can’t change others; only yourself. That means she’s not manipulative. She uses logic and sense, and is goal-oriented; she’s not talking about controlling others. She’s talking about adjusting oneself.
In 1988, my gf and I were walking down the street in Toronto when a black car began slowly following us. We were on high alert. I saw ppl on a balcony across the road and started talking to them like I knew them. That car took off very quickly so we knew that it was a real threat. Scary
When she was talking about there is good in everyone and how we can pull that out of people & that if we continuously try to pull the bad out of people that’s what we will get… that made me cry
But what the lesson is, is we will pull out of people what we are…not what we want. That should make you weep because then you realize what you actually do and how you treat people.
@@callmepj4333 that's an interesting perspective to take away from that. I can't really say that's what I took from it but apply it towards your life as you see fit for you
This is so important: *"Who are you going to let into your life?" As a victim of severe DV, now I hear that loud and clear. I ignored every red flag, and paid dearly. Then what she said about being so careful about the people you allow to be in your life. How she said if you're just open to everyone you will be in trouble all the time. A victim! More and more we have to be SO care about who we let in our life. Protect your family; protect yourself. PRAY that God will give us His wisdom about this.*
I'm glad to hear you survived! . Indeed discernment about your choices. These experiences change people. Sending you the light! 🌞 The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Safe People by Henry Cloud Boundaries by Henry Cloud I Hear You by Michael Sorenson Without Conscience by Robert D Hare Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix- Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin Know yourself and your attachment style. Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles.
Lisa and Evy are so very awesome! Any person who is open minded man or woman can learn from these two very inspiring women. God bless U and thank you for the words of wisdom 🙏
ALL FINE to say appearance matters when you're beautiful and young. You can make the most of your appearance and grooming, and that won't matter to anyone, except you. You have to like yourself even when nobody else likes you, and you can only find that confidence from solitude, not validation from anybody else.
I am older and look even older, but appearance has nothing to do with beauty. Looking worthy and self respecting is something everyone sees, even if you're not so beautiful
ALL Well Stated!! It is also who are the people you're going to be around too. When people used to say to me ALL the time.. "Don't dress up! It's Casual". It drove me nuts.. I didn't even own anything casual. I'm an artist and my clothing is my visual art to the world... Someone made this unique piece of clothing but instead I was belittled because they thought I was TRYING to make them look less than? REAL irritating. Yet, nobody could even relate to that statement.. Displaying someone else's Art on my body. The necklace in my thumbnail here, my deceased husband who was an American Indian made it. I will continue to be myself and if it doesn't appeal to certain people, I just move on. They missed what I have to offer. But I Absolutely understand what you're saying. I however get misread plenty...
Appearance as some are stating no matter HOW you look.. is Really about "Are you Confident in your own skin", period. But Again if you are in a GROUP of people who Do Not resonate with your same Vibe.. you just need to let it go.. Even IF they aren't narcissists hating on you. I could show up somewhere Appearing overly dressed or flashy to them.. and be treated lowly because they assume (she's just into herself) rather than I'm actually displaying something that someone else created.. their Art on my walking billboard body. It's about CHARACTER... no matter the age or dress attire. When people trip on beautiful/young people (appearing) to have Special treatment.. That's NOT true... It's with that beauty or youth, etc. Physicality (What are They.. willing to do with it that gives them the favorable outcome..) that others are Not willing to do.. that then ignorant people will then deem those unwilling people, as losers... 🤔
I love how you break it down…I always wondered who the real me was, thinking I should be one way at all times. I now understand I have different versions of me and it’s not fake!! I truly love how you “break down” emotions and thoughts of the human being. I’m starting to feel confident of my mind and I’m not confused as to why I act differently in certain situations. I know who I am, and I really don’t care if people like me or not! I try to be my authentic self and feel if people don’t like me it’s ok. So now I’m starting to understand I’m ok!!
Your podcast is really impactful, Lisa!! Thanks for creating the space for us to talk/listen about all feminine issues with respect and without feeling weak!! 💕
I’m the same Lisa, I feel like my emotions take over a lot. Thank both of you so much though. I’m a transgender woman who moved to nyc at the beginning of the pandemic and being away from people so long has really given me bad social anxiety. Your show has not got me to go outside yet, but it has made me feel a little safer when I am ready I think. I so appreciate it. Thank you both.
You got this girl! Just remember you are powerful, you are beautiful! The world is your oyster, but only if you get out and live in it. When you are ready, you will. Love & light to you!
Code switching, I’ve been doing this since I was a child. As a woman of color, you learn early how to present yourself you whom you’re talking to or dealing with. Competence and warmth are always key in any situation.
Never talk with someone in private unless you know that they aren't manipulative, otherwise always write things down (emails, infos) and keep them as prove or have someone with you while talking to them. Don't trust people completely.
We as humans tend to have a need to believe in the best of others, that they are good and wholesome, even when that is not always true. obviously, that is a mistake that is difficult to overcome. We should not be in the habit of trusting others before they have proven they are worthy of our trust, never give it freely.
Good advice, I was chased by a lady for a few months, she really latched onto me, for 3 months she was lovely, opened up about so much stuff expecting me to do the same, I kept quiet keeping her in the friend conversations. Soon after the manipulation began, claiming to to be the victim constantly expecting me to go running. I kept notes when I saw her. Every time I ended up doing things for her and her business. There wasn't a single quality of a relationship yet she would tell certain people I was her partner. She manipulated me for nearly 2 years for her own gain. I never let her into my private life. And so glad I didn't.
Thank you. I got so much out of this, I listened to this ln my way to school and during that school day, I felt completely different. I was able to avoid ”princess drama”, there was this situation that had already started to escalate towards that direction. Long story short: I used the skills you have taught and I reached my goal which was to put a stop in bullying thay had been going on in our group and without getting involved with some serious drama queen shit.
I found out I was being extremely disrespected so I went home and lifted weights and I felt so much better . So I put the 7 day rule in place and yes the 7 day rule works . If you think it’s ok to disrespect me I have a right to take the time to myself and cool off from your bad behaviours and keep my distance. It shows that you respect yourself and your worth it’s so important. Especially if you haven’t supported my goals and my life because your opinion doesn’t actually matter . Yes it all takes work controlling your emotions because a lot of people are provokers . Healthy relationships are so important to me .
Yup!30yrs healthcare career, I Intuitively knew when patients would crash! Had meds & equipment ready! Not 1 death! Heard in Australia they added "i" for intuition to the MEWS score! I know what road turning to take/avoid! I always follow my intuition!
This lady is very straight to the point and helpful. She is right, ego controls us way too much. (example: feeling disappointed and disrespected when you don’t get the promotion but your professionally younger colleague does) And also our GOAL is what matters. We need to keep in front of our mind and will make different decisions, both the emotionally driven one.
There have been times I would have saved myself from abuse if I had only told them to F off or get out, but I was too empathetic, kind, and polite. Now I’m in my 60s and working on my boundaries.
watching y’all chat is like listening to my two most prominent alter egos lol especially when you discussed your personal approaches to confidence. i started with the inventory of how i’m already confident and then also blend in the growth mindset of how i’m using competence and skill building to also build my confidence in being able to handle things. ❤❤❤
She is absolutely beautifully strong! I love how she is real at any given moment! She is NOT STUCK UP FAKE OR CONCEITED! HER SHEER PRESENCE?? Is something every woman should strive to become in their own light! I’m so tired of jealous miserable women! Do your dam own soul work! N I always say it to soo many!! Self assessment is key key key! If u r doing adequate self analysis on a daily?? You will find u have absolutely no time to take others inventory or criticize their ways!! If they r not doing their self assessment I move away from those ppl they are not ppl I want to be around!
This is so good! ❤ This woman is amazing, extremely confident, smart, calm, so intelligent, and well-rounded. Friend goals! So much to learn from her....!
Thank you,this is helping me get my life back.have to get my family to join in. You are helping so many people be a better self. So grateful and glad I found women of impact Thanks so much for being you Love from a Brit in Belgium ❤
I think I am understanding right about disruptors. I believe it's something I've been trying to get a better hang of over the last few years. Tapping was one of the first I learned. That was a god send. Anytime I'd feel myself sinking, emotionally and mentally, I would tap myself all over. How it was explained to me was that it was breaking up stagnant energy/neuropeptides. Point is, it helps pull me out of the dark. Something else that I've been doing on and off for the past few years is setting alarms. Reminders of why I'm doing. Little insights I pick up along the way. And just motivation things that I know I need to hear. Life gets hectic. An alarm going off every hour reminding me that everything happens for a reason, for a few weeks, will help you see the world with a new lense. Especially when every time it goes off is exactly when you need to remember it. That was a good one. It gets old. But that means it's time for a break from the alarm, to remember on my own. If its true then I don't need a phone alarm. It will prove it self. That's my way, at least. Over load myself on something, and then take a break to let my insights integrate. Taking a break is a very good disrupter. I've been "eating like crap" for a week or so. Right now I am doing my best at eating healthy, my way. Chicken thighs are healthier then the golden Oreos I put back on the shelf today. It's also better then not eating. Altho, I do like to eat on my schedule. I let my body tell me when it's time to do something. Eat when I'm hungry. Sleep when I'm tired. Not that I don't push it. Personally, I have to. But that's me. This past winter I did a trek in the woods by my mom's, where I live, in knee deep snow.. Besides that I am a little different, I wanted to do it to mix things up. To challenge myself to do what I know that no one else I know would do I didn't totally do it to spite them. Just like I didn't totally do just to brag about it. I did do it to show off to myself. I did do it to put myself in a position where I had to finish, or I was going to be stuck in the snow till someone found me. Which could of taken a little while, if things really got back. But the point was to mix things up. Even if it's taking a right instead of a left. Or walking backwards for a couple feet. Or keeping your eyes closed when you turn on the lights. Or even putting down the little Debby creme pies, which are like my favorite snack. I haven't finished the interview yet. I made it past the first book promo I'm very much enjoying this
This interview highlights how we get caught up in the feelings of others and their perception of us. How much we are liked. It’s echos the effects of social media on ideas of popularity and how we are governed largely by our emotions when we have a goal or aim. It’s true we often get in the way of our own aims and miss the point of our drivers.
Love what you state about everyone has something good about them. Over the years, I have worked with youth, managed thousands of people, and if you start with this basis and are investing in others' lives for good, this is a good starting point.
Evy u r an amazing inspiring woman thnku fr who u r...Lisa what ur doing is awesome too u bring us these amazing women of impact..what u r doing is awesome
I think realising you have a choice, that when you understand hey I can have control over me and my actions is empowering because when you are used to family taking that control away from you and doing things you didn't want to do you would say hey, I don't have any control and then learning, there are little things I can have control over it was actually pretty cool to realise I can and I will be in charge of my life because a lot of people who come from controlling backgrounds don't realize they have a choice. For example I was talking about joining the armed forces but as a cook. I knew my passion was always about cooking and I thought hey, why not do it in a more adventurous place than your standard café because the armed forces have to eat. So when my parents came along and heard this is what I want to do (because as a rule I don't talk to them they try discouraging me so I just do stuff) from my careers advisor they changed my field of study, they actually meddled and changed my career path without even asking me! They said they picked me to do hospitality and catering and that sounds about right and - the only... THE ONLY reason, I accepted that in the end because it was remotely in a field of work I was interested in but they could have changed it around to anything. My parents have controlled everything from when I was young. I didn't see it then but I saw it more as I aged. When I was in my late twenties my Mom chased me around my flat with a long line of floss saying "let me floss your teeth!"
I use these techniques and this advice works if you're willing to change and allow yourself to try and understand! High five please have this agent on more!
When she says, the way I could learn is I write everything, so I would hand write the textbook. This really spoke to me because being a visual learner, I did the same exact thing and my ability to retain the info jumped tenfold.
OMG the specific pieces of advice Evy gives here. Evy repaired my confidence within two hours by confirming things I do right, assisting me in understanding the challenges I face and possible ways of resolving them or dealing with them. As simple as email writing hahahah - I would do the opposite - I would stick to my own ways of writing deliberately to show this is me and I am not going to change for you, instead of using what I already knew deep there - observing, understanding, mirroring and making connections even more efficiently. FANTASTIC!! Thank you ladies.
I f'ing love this woman. I've just come across this podcast, literally just finished watching her other interview and both theses ladies are great, empowering and inspiring.
I love listening to Evy! Her wisdom is sound, it's cementing these mindsets in your head when it has been working in a different way for such a long time. I think in every one of her interviews, you can see her delivering her message, but also speaking to the interviewer themselves (I'm not even sure some are aware of it). Evy sizes up who is interviewing her by their body language and the questions they ask, so she can tell what is important to that particular interviewer....deep down what they feel is important. It's fascinating to watch her maneuver through an interview, and answer their inner most question about themselves! My question for Evy would be, "What is the destination, result/goal you are looking for in this/any interview" Because you know she has one as well!
I always start crying and quivering in conflict. So, I just avoid it. I am capable of very bad things and because I know that, I rather walk away because people always underestimate the level of pain I can put people through but, that’s not who I want to be. So I walk away. That’s also why I don’t own a gun - I know, I’ll use it.
If u r crying n quivering...ur fight n flight response kicks in .crying n quivering is freeze mode or flight mode. ...fight mode is hyper awareness n calmness in rough situation ..now u know where u stand!
EVY MY NO.1 REMINDER OF RESILLIENCE AND CONFIDENCE. I FUCKING LOVED READING HER BOOK AT THE BEGINNING OF APRIL. COULD PROBABLY REREAD IT MAYBE AUDIO NEXT TIME!
I like the honest discussion of anger issues and taking time to respond instead of react, dealing with betrayal, building confidence, preparation for competence to build confidence and the gratitude we need for learning our lessons well. Thank you Dear Ladies for making womanhood a respectable gender. Hopefully The People will move beyond gonads and melanin and manifest the best of all cultures I am sure I speak for the women I spent two and a half years with in IPV Support and our children. Peace, love and may God bless you as we joyfully approach the narrow gate on this road less traveled . 😊 "If you're not having a good time it's you're own dam* fault." Dad A psychiatrist and Diplomat for University of Georgetown School of Neurology and Psychiatry Saint Mary's College Suma cum laude - Chemistry and Philosophy; Georgetown Medical School - WWII deferment; Lieutenant US Naval Hospital Vessel, Korean War; Honorable Papa San would be 101 this year! How many times will you get to see your special family members again?
Wow Ladies 😇😇 this video was so POWERFUL ...I learn so much from you Evy....I Have 4pages of notes here.😄..writing stoping listening Your are such an inspirational woman ....You two ladies blend so beautifully Lisa you just seem to ask the right questions😄like Evy said you have good body language.... THANK YOU SO MUCH ...😘😘😘🥰🥰🥰love you both
"Everybody lies" is true in that there's been some time or situation in which you lied, but not everybody is a chronic or habitual liar. I despise chronic liars. It's not a trait to say "oh, everybody does it" and simply accept it. Ok, yes, I lead a majority solo life because I don't like having liars around me. It's not ok, but I think she's accepting what is, as opposed to what is ok. In her career of course lying is part of it.
You guys are too funny. This is the second time I am almost to work, you say something that makes me bust out laughing. Disrespect is increasingly difficult especially when it's the boss and younger people. You guys are Awesome!😊
Thank you so much, sharing is such a beautiful thing to do. This was the most iconic session and compilation. Thank you Lisa for always bring the best of the guest and make all the right and thoughtful questions.
I love the phrase "I am captain of my ship" It has even more meaning when I think about my last lucid dream. I looked at the clock two different times in my dream and the second time I looked I noticed that the time had not changed at all. Hours seemed to have gone by. I remembered something about lucid dreaming and clocks and the dream broke. Everything just started going to hell until it was just me on a ship in a galaxy of stars. I controlled my dream and in my dream I was on a ship. I am captain of my ship ☺️
I’ve avoided confrontation all my life and I hate it. I don’t think I don’t do it on purpose I’ve lost my ability to speak. My body won’t even move. I think I dissociate. I just freeze. But I might be better now that I’m older idk. My chest just felt tense as I said that lol geez. Not over it.
The part about victimology really resonates with me. I was raised in a very violent & abusive household. As I grew up, I was always trying to hide the truth about who I felt I was & what I thought my experiences said about me. I dressed impeccably well, always, I had excellent manners, I became well read, I was funny, I made sure to never make other people uncomfortable. HOWEVER: this meant I was so busy looking at myself in my efforts to be perfect & self protect, I didn't pay enough attention to other people. I didn't learn patterns of predators, I had no proper boundaries or sense of self. I experienced a lot of horrific traumas, none of them were my fault, but some of them I could have been avoided had I not been conditioned to tolerate certain things from childhood & then kept having that reinforced by repeated experiences. It took me many decades to get to the point where I am safe & able to fully care for, & protect, myself. I thank Lisa for her excellent content, I love Evy & I have learned so much from her. Even though I've probably seen every interview she's done, & more than once, I have just bought her book & can't wait to read it!
@1CrackedActress, WOW!! You have literally described me.
@@SelenaT Me too.
Yep! Tons of trauma
Growing up in a family of Narcissists and being the scapegoat, you try all these things to be perfect but the problem lies in you were conditioned. Being abused was normalized. I didn't get it till I started learning about Narcissism 10 yrs ago and continue to learn. Jill Wise @ The Enlightened Target and Dr Ramani are excellent teachers.
Edit: you have to cut ties with anyone who's not respectful to you.
You just described me. Our childhoods are almost identical. Thank God, for my faith in Jesus, thank God for Adult Children of Alcoholics.
“My goal isn’t how I want someone to feel about me, but what do I want? What do I want my end result to be? How do I navigate my conversation to get to that point?” That spoke to me so deeply.
Me too. That was a lightbulb moment. Thinking that way also takes the pressure off fearing making the wrong impression. I waste too much time worrying what people think about me when I know I come across nicely. Now I’m going to focus more on goals and results.
A
So you always have a a motivation when you want to meet someone? To me that seems alterior motivation. I don't know how I feel about that.i know in life your attracted to people for different reasons.amd now I'm questioning my motivations.most are positive but there's a few that I don't know.
@@emilymccarty6343 *ulterior motive
Allegedly your guest was pregnant 6 months ago, so stop regurgitating
This is why I wear blazers to work most of the time. It sets the tone, along with my energy, people know that I respect myself and they fall in line.
Classic
I had a boss that wore jeans all the time and demanded we all dress casually. It was so unprofessional.
Had a mentor once told me to wear pants. It connotes business.
@@tevaristorres8535▶️Deu.22:5
😊😊
The sad part about this entire conversation is not the fact that a person has to adjust themselves for each situation but it’s the fact that people are completely clueless how their subconscious influences the way they treat others. We’re being manipulated everyday without even realizing it.
I feel sorry for people with autism! Specially level 1’s neurodivergent. The verbal ones. So misunderstood! Their facial expressions are naturally under expressed; or overly expressed. They are judged way too harsh. And many are under diagnosed.
Me all the way @@123marchello
Yes it is sad. And a lot of businesses/ institutions take advantage of this to program people for profit.
But yes this is why there is school smart and being street smart. Self and social awareness. You can’t be naive, evil does exist. Wisdom is best lived not just spoken. Be high vibrational and do your best to spread love. Be the change you want to see. You can’t change everyone. You can inspire. You know what you can do , question is will you respond to the call and do something with your life? I won’t judge you but what’s the point of being aware of this and still operating as if you weren’t. You can change the world just by making someone smile today.
Since the beginning of time we have been fed lies
0:45 Ppl judge u what they see, appearance
1:20Think abt the audience, many versions+
2:30 Goal is What do I want? 3:30
3:50 Be Competent & Warm
4:50 its not about me, Gain info
6:07 Find good qualities in ppl
7:05 everybody lies, something within them
8:15 emotional self assessment
8:55 What could I have done to change the outcome
9:10 24 Hour Rule, Walk away
9:35 Reacting vs Responding, 10:15 tactical
10:38 Use stress to cope, Introduce Disruptors
13:30 Gut feeling 14:30 robbed, be rude
16:00 Trust your instict self
16:30 Proactive Planning & Preparation
16:57 Be Prepared Plan ABC, Know Proactive
17:43 Preparing, and then What Ifs
18:15 Embrace confrontation
19:00 Articulate & Disagree with them
19:30 Let them vent, Wait it out then have a convo
20:00 Look confrontation as a challenge20:30 Confront ppl what dont feel right
21:25 G20 Summit
23:00 she didnt expected, 23:30 Queen
24:30 violence
25:00 Being disrespected
25:45 You first Self Awareness 26:29
26:50 fighting everybody is exhausting
27:50 different lvls of disrespect, Ppl will test u if u keep allowing the
28;45 You teach ppl how to treat you
29:35 Conditional
30:25 Unconditional Trust
31:25 if ur open,
31:51 inner circle, have ppl audition
32:20 once theyre in, dont let them disrespect u
33:30 34:15 Discipline someone in private34:45
35:10 Own what u can do
35:40 Have quality ppl,
36:05 U get what u tolerate
36:25 be done with them36:40 Know to walk away
37:45 Confidence Competent Habit
38:30 How you speak to urself, How you think to yourself
39:15 habits, internal dialogue
39:50 40:30 Framing positive words
42:50 Find urself in the present now
43:30 here there, we alrdy have it
44:30 Write down what uve accomplished
45:00 Start with You first
46:59 Write down
47:30 Overprepare
49:27 Be honest with yourself
50:37 Hold urself accountable, dont shame urself
51:50 no need to apologize
52:30 im sorry i hurt u but I said what I mean
53:40 Dont dump ur drama on ppl
54:19 Be humble
55:05 Be with ppl who handle pressure well
56:30 Dont follow mimic other ppl
57:01Be silent, move away from that situation
57:30 Assert yourself
58:25 Set the tone as an authority
59:05 no tolerance on clows
1:00:09 Be aware of the words u use
1:00:32 Choose the words u let out thoughtfully
1:1:20 Words matter and have weight
1:2:00 Opening line u must memorize
1:2:40 Never negotiate across them on a table
1:4:00 Dating
1:5:00 When ur under pressure, breathe pause & think about the other person
1:6:10 Be prepared
1:6:35 Do what u can control
1:7:07 Have protocols u can prepare on situations
1:7:50 Take ownership
1:8:20 blaming gives away ur power
1:9:00 be the captain of ur ship
1:10:44 Question any authority
1:11:09 You choose ur decisions
1:11:30 dont be a victim
1:12:17 victimology
1:12:42 it's about assessing, always u
1:13:58 What are u doing that make ppl treat u this way?
1:14:50 hermitology stress handling
1:15:40 u know ppl by how they handle stress
1:16:58 entitlement labeling
1:18:02 Who do you let in, Who do you keep out?
1:18:41 Know which opinions matter to u or not
1:19:30 Our mental chatter distracts us
1:20:15 Be honest with yourself
1:20:50 be so good ppl cant ignore u
1:21:20 respect is a gift
1:21:50 confessions no proof or not confessing
1:22:45 Find ways to show that you're in charge, I'm the boss
1:23:55 Speak with confidence & act with strength, authority, certainty
1:24:23 Power & strength starts in the mind
1:24:42 Ur gonna be limping back
1:25:45 Paralinguistics what do u sound like when u deliver ur information? 1:26:07 what do they hear & perceive u as? 1:26:31 believe in what ur saying
1:26:50 deal with adversity repetition, habits version
1:27:30 2 types of personas to watch out for
1:28:00 justifying to do something bad1:29:00
1:29:15 self righteousness
1:29:50 look at how other ppl treat u, it will come back to u
1:30:19 Look at their characteristics
1:30:55 any trigger can be a weakness
1:31:25 Acknowledge it 1:31:52 u just disrespected
1:32:30 with family its just who they are
1:33:05 dont take it personal
1:33:32 betrayal 1:34:00 if they cross line
1:34:45 dont suppress that
1:35:25 Everybody is looking at their self interest
1:35:50 dont be a victim
1:36:20 Be aware of what language u use
1:37:00 Speak when not angry in what that they understand
1:37:35 How she speaks to them 1:38:18
1:39:06 Body Language, Verbal Language, Paralinguistics+
1:41:00 Bring out a part of you that works with them
1:41:45 Pay attention & listen1:42:30 Ask questions
1:43:25 dont make assumptions as facts
1:43:54 Be unbiased, find the truth
1:44:18 confirmation bias u could be wrong1:44:46
1:45:09 she got what she wanted
1:45:50 Assess human behavior, know their baseline & deviations Body Language
1:46:30 questioning changed convos1:47:18 Curious
1:47:35 stressed out body gives out info
1:47:55 eye contact, concerned about look away
1:48:20 Verbal Language
1:48:48 Lies, ommission, stalling. 1:49:10 i i i
1:50:00 Paralinguistics how we say them, vague lies
1:50:30 Be curious about ppl, what matters to them
I feel sorry you actually watched this entire video
Super helpful!
Thanks
You have a lot to say and this is not your podcast. Meeting you would be a bore.
▶️Jer.17:5
Evy should start a youtube channel!! She is such a great inspiration too!!💜🌌
She’s so smart I could listen to her forever
▶️Jer.17:5
Right ❤
@@Rev.14 what does that scripture have to do with her being a smart lady?
I can go over and over this interview and learn something valuable every time. Thanks to you both!
I was followed twice when I was a young teen. The first time, I knocked on a strangers door and asked for help. The second I stopped at a store and told the owner and he helped me. 🙏🏻 Schools must teach children to ask for help. I was never, but I used my instinct and fast thinking on a plan.
Parents taught common sense years ago. You did the right thing. When in danger remove yourself from the situation.
Your safety is your responsibility. Always be aware of your surroundings. Situational awareness listening and intuition.
The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker 💥
Safe People by Henry Cloud
Boundaries by Henry Cloud
I Hear You by Michael Sorenson
Without Conscience by Robert D Hare
Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter
Ken Reid has informative podcasts on attachment styles. Know yourself and your attachment style
Sam Vaknin has educational podcasts on Cluster B disorders and other mental health topics.
David Tian and Sam Vaknin have educational podcasts on The Red Pill and Alpha Males
5 Boundaries You Must Set With Men by Jonathon Aslay podcast
8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies
Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis
The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver
Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters
Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goldman
The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk
It is so wonderful to listen to her, she is really articulate. It is also really great, that she doesn’t use filler words like „kind of“ or „like“.
Part of her poawer and assertive style.
The underlying theme that I get is: you can't be in control of everything (esp. how people perceive or treat you) but you have control over yourself (how you look, behave, think, talk). So it makes sense that you focus on bettering yourself. Expecting people to think or behave a certain way will most likely lead to conflict.
"I walked away because I'm going to own my response. You do not get to own my response. " Pure gold.
The first thing you said, helped so many women. }If that’s what you sound like, then fix it!”
Have to pause and go practice being more assertive and authoritative. I tend to be timid.
On the opposite end, some people practice it to the point of pretentiousness ALL THE TIME.
What you practice gets stronger.( Shauna Shapiro)
Practice being assertive and authoritative and within time you will get better at it. God bless U
Same!!!! I’m here because I’ve been walked all over in my marriage and I always end up caving in
🎉yes
Mee
Evy is the real deal. She is actually qualified to have this conversation and speaks from real life experience
Removing emotion and calculating what you want out of a person, and giving them a version of yourself that will manipulate your desired effect is how most of us ended up on the self help end of youtube. Unless you are trying to get the truth out of a murder because your job depends on it you should probably leave these tactics alone and just be the best version of yourself and if someone wants to play manipulative games with you just tell them to have a nice day and keep it moving. Don't take on psychopathic traits with the hope of being mentally well. If someone that you have to deal with is this level of toxicity shut down commuication and work on your exit plan.
In the 48 laws of power also...to walk away from depressing or toxic people!
yes!!!!!
Being “the best version of yourself” requires that you think of yourself as a particular thing. But the truth is that we’re all multifaceted. So which is the best version? Probably, the one that does the best job of doing what’s good for self and others. What does that mean? Adjusting to the particular situation. We all do it. What she does is just more intentional than most. Consider that she said you can’t change others; only yourself. That means she’s not manipulative. She uses logic and sense, and is goal-oriented; she’s not talking about controlling others. She’s talking about adjusting oneself.
In 1988, my gf and I were walking down the street in Toronto when a black car began slowly following us. We were on high alert. I saw ppl on a balcony across the road and started talking to them like I knew them. That car took off very quickly so we knew that it was a real threat. Scary
🥳🥳🥳 For listening to your intuition! 🥳🥳🥳
smart.
When she was talking about there is good in everyone and how we can pull that out of people & that if we continuously try to pull the bad out of people that’s what we will get… that made me cry
But what the lesson is, is we will pull out of people what we are…not what we want.
That should make you weep because then you realize what you actually do and how you treat people.
@@callmepj4333 that's an interesting perspective to take away from that. I can't really say that's what I took from it but apply it towards your life as you see fit for you
Not the simple and easy
One of the big lies we’ve been sold: it’s your inner beauty that counts the most. 43 years on the planet. Finally learned the truth of that one
Inner beauty is import and! Fell in love with my ex and it was inner beauty! However that was fake! We are divorced now
initial impressions are based on looks and demeanour but once people get to know you that changes
Truth
This is so important: *"Who are you going to let into your life?" As a victim of severe DV, now I hear that loud and clear. I ignored every red flag, and paid dearly. Then what she said about being so careful about the people you allow to be in your life. How she said if you're just open to everyone you will be in trouble all the time. A victim! More and more we have to be SO care about who we let in our life. Protect your family; protect yourself. PRAY that God will give us His wisdom about this.*
I'm glad to hear you survived! .
Indeed discernment about your choices. These experiences change people. Sending you the light! 🌞
The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
Safe People by Henry Cloud
Boundaries by Henry Cloud
I Hear You by Michael Sorenson
Without Conscience by Robert D Hare
Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter
The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk
Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix-
Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin
Know yourself and your attachment style. Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles.
Lisa and Evy are so very awesome! Any person who is open minded man or woman can learn from these two very inspiring women. God bless U and thank you for the words of wisdom 🙏
Agreed! Love them both!! 🙏❤️
ALL FINE to say appearance matters when you're beautiful and young. You can make the most of your appearance and grooming, and that won't matter to anyone, except you. You have to like yourself even when nobody else likes you, and you can only find that confidence from solitude, not validation from anybody else.
I am older and look even older, but appearance has nothing to do with beauty. Looking worthy and self respecting is something everyone sees, even if you're not so beautiful
Appearance doesn’t last forever, you need to work on your self from the inside to have a strong and unique personality.
ALL Well Stated!! It is also who are the people you're going to be around too. When people used to say to me ALL the time.. "Don't dress up! It's Casual". It drove me nuts.. I didn't even own anything casual. I'm an artist and my clothing is my visual art to the world... Someone made this unique piece of clothing but instead I was belittled because they thought I was TRYING to make them look less than? REAL irritating. Yet, nobody could even relate to that statement.. Displaying someone else's Art on my body. The necklace in my thumbnail here, my deceased husband who was an American Indian made it. I will continue to be myself and if it doesn't appeal to certain people, I just move on. They missed what I have to offer. But I Absolutely understand what you're saying. I however get misread plenty...
Appearance as some are stating no matter HOW you look.. is Really about "Are you Confident in your own skin", period. But Again if you are in a GROUP of people who Do Not resonate with your same Vibe.. you just need to let it go.. Even IF they aren't narcissists hating on you.
I could show up somewhere Appearing overly dressed or flashy to them.. and be treated lowly because they assume (she's just into herself) rather than I'm actually displaying something that someone else created.. their Art on my walking billboard body.
It's about CHARACTER... no matter the age or dress attire.
When people trip on beautiful/young people (appearing) to have Special treatment.. That's NOT true... It's with that beauty or youth, etc. Physicality (What are They.. willing to do with it that gives them the favorable outcome..) that others are Not willing to do.. that then ignorant people will then deem those unwilling people, as losers... 🤔
I love how you break it down…I always wondered who the real me was, thinking I should be one way at all times. I now understand I have different versions of me and it’s not fake!! I truly love how you “break down” emotions and thoughts of the human being. I’m starting to feel confident of my mind and I’m not confused as to why I act differently in certain situations. I know who I am, and I really don’t care if people like me or not! I try to be my authentic self and feel if people don’t like me it’s ok. So now I’m starting to understand I’m ok!!
Your podcast is really impactful, Lisa!! Thanks for creating the space for us to talk/listen about all feminine issues with respect and without feeling weak!! 💕
Yes! Evy is so on point- "I know I don't know everything" -Socrates
I’m the same Lisa, I feel like my emotions take over a lot. Thank both of you so much though. I’m a transgender woman who moved to nyc at the beginning of the pandemic and being away from people so long has really given me bad social anxiety. Your show has not got me to go outside yet, but it has made me feel a little safer when I am ready I think. I so appreciate it. Thank you both.
❤️
You got this girl! Just remember you are powerful, you are beautiful! The world is your oyster, but only if you get out and live in it. When you are ready, you will. Love & light to you!
This is one of the best videos I have ever seen on all of TH-cam and I’m on here every day .
Code switching, I’ve been doing this since I was a child. As a woman of color, you learn early how to present yourself you whom you’re talking to or dealing with. Competence and warmth are always key in any situation.
It was great to listen to these sessions again, wonderful reminders, thank you!💕
Never talk with someone in private unless you know that they aren't manipulative, otherwise always write things down (emails, infos) and keep them as prove or have someone with you while talking to them. Don't trust people completely.
We as humans tend to have a need to believe in the best of others, that they are good and wholesome, even when that is not always true. obviously, that is a mistake that is difficult to overcome. We should not be in the habit of trusting others before they have proven they are worthy of our trust, never give it freely.
Good advice, I was chased by a lady for a few months, she really latched onto me, for 3 months she was lovely, opened up about so much stuff expecting me to do the same, I kept quiet keeping her in the friend conversations. Soon after the manipulation began, claiming to to be the victim constantly expecting me to go running. I kept notes when I saw her. Every time I ended up doing things for her and her business. There wasn't a single quality of a relationship yet she would tell certain people I was her partner. She manipulated me for nearly 2 years for her own gain. I never let her into my private life. And so glad I didn't.
@@mobileradiofitter Why would you keep entertaining her for 2 years? Just tell your not interested and go no contact.
Thank you. I got so much out of this, I listened to this ln my way to school and during that school day, I felt completely different. I was able to avoid ”princess drama”, there was this situation that had already started to escalate towards that direction. Long story short: I used the skills you have taught and I reached my goal which was to put a stop in bullying thay had been going on in our group and without getting involved with some serious drama queen shit.
I found out I was being extremely disrespected so I went home and lifted weights and I felt so much better . So I put the 7 day rule in place and yes the 7 day rule works . If you think it’s ok to disrespect me I have a right to take the time to myself and cool off from your bad behaviours and keep my distance. It shows that you respect yourself and your worth it’s so important. Especially if you haven’t supported my goals and my life because your opinion doesn’t actually matter . Yes it all takes work controlling your emotions because a lot of people are provokers . Healthy relationships are so important to me .
Girlllll thank you this comment is everything
The way you love yourself is how others will show their love to you!
💙TH-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
Ordered Evy’s book if I can be 5% as badass as Evy I’ll be winning at life!
The audiobook is really good too. She and her spouse narrate it.
Evy didn't say be as badass as her. What have you been listening to in this video, not to be like her! To be a better version of you.
Yup!30yrs healthcare career, I Intuitively knew when patients would crash! Had meds & equipment ready! Not 1 death! Heard in Australia they added "i" for intuition to the MEWS score! I know what road turning to take/avoid! I always follow my intuition!
I just applied to the college of Lisa and Evy. Can't wait to graduate! You ladies are inspiring and beautiful
Love all episodes with Evy as I loved her amazing book !!!! 🙏🏻💝✨
She knows her shit... Her focus on non-verbal cues is spot on. nothing to add. Brilliant.
Amazing. This woman is something special.
I never tire of listening to Evy 👍❤️🙏
Thank you Lisa you have helped stand my ground and apologize for overreaching ❤
Just started listening and this interview is very insightful!
Self assessment, I’m taking that with me❤️😍
This lady is very straight to the point and helpful. She is right, ego controls us way too much. (example: feeling disappointed and disrespected when you don’t get the promotion but your professionally younger colleague does)
And also our GOAL is what matters. We need to keep in front of our mind and will make different decisions, both the emotionally driven one.
There have been times I would have saved myself from abuse if I had only told them to F off or get out, but I was too empathetic, kind, and polite. Now I’m in my 60s and working on my boundaries.
Omg
That was me when i was 17 to 21
Cause of my parents n upbring
N also my culture
Omg
That was me when i was 17 to 21
Cause of my parents n upbring
N also my culture
You got this!
@@Kate-ms5js thank you, I needed that this morning
Love this! Love Evy, love you! Thank you so much! Please have her on again & again! 💗
I love all your talks with Evy, I have learnt so much from her book and talks... thank you
watching y’all chat is like listening to my two most prominent alter egos lol
especially when you discussed your personal approaches to confidence. i started with the inventory of how i’m already confident and then also blend in the growth mindset of how i’m using competence and skill building to also build my confidence in being able to handle things.
❤❤❤
Thank you for having Evy on. She is a wealth of wisdom !!
She is absolutely beautifully strong! I love how she is real at any given moment! She is NOT STUCK UP FAKE OR CONCEITED! HER SHEER PRESENCE?? Is something every woman should strive to become in their own light! I’m so tired of jealous miserable women! Do your dam own soul work! N I always say it to soo many!! Self assessment is key key key! If u r doing adequate self analysis on a daily?? You will find u have absolutely no time to take others inventory or criticize their ways!! If they r not doing their self assessment I move away from those ppl they are not ppl I want to be around!
Evy Poumpouras, very intelligent conversation, thank you both!
This is so good! ❤ This woman is amazing, extremely confident, smart, calm, so intelligent, and well-rounded. Friend goals! So much to learn from her....!
Lisa you are such an amazing host… 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I love your thought of are they worth my energy.
Thank you,this is helping me get my life back.have to get my family to join in.
You are helping so many people be a better self.
So grateful and glad I found women of impact
Thanks so much for being you
Love from a Brit in Belgium ❤
I think I am understanding right about disruptors. I believe it's something I've been trying to get a better hang of over the last few years.
Tapping was one of the first I learned. That was a god send.
Anytime I'd feel myself sinking, emotionally and mentally, I would tap myself all over.
How it was explained to me was that it was breaking up stagnant energy/neuropeptides.
Point is, it helps pull me out of the dark.
Something else that I've been doing on and off for the past few years is setting alarms. Reminders of why I'm doing. Little insights I pick up along the way. And just motivation things that I know I need to hear.
Life gets hectic. An alarm going off every hour reminding me that everything happens for a reason, for a few weeks, will help you see the world with a new lense. Especially when every time it goes off is exactly when you need to remember it.
That was a good one.
It gets old.
But that means it's time for a break from the alarm, to remember on my own. If its true then I don't need a phone alarm. It will prove it self.
That's my way, at least.
Over load myself on something, and then take a break to let my insights integrate.
Taking a break is a very good disrupter.
I've been "eating like crap" for a week or so. Right now I am doing my best at eating healthy, my way.
Chicken thighs are healthier then the golden Oreos I put back on the shelf today.
It's also better then not eating. Altho, I do like to eat on my schedule.
I let my body tell me when it's time to do something.
Eat when I'm hungry. Sleep when I'm tired. Not that I don't push it. Personally, I have to. But that's me.
This past winter I did a trek in the woods by my mom's, where I live, in knee deep snow..
Besides that I am a little different, I wanted to do it to mix things up. To challenge myself to do what I know that no one else I know would do
I didn't totally do it to spite them. Just like I didn't totally do just to brag about it.
I did do it to show off to myself. I did do it to put myself in a position where I had to finish, or I was going to be stuck in the snow till someone found me. Which could of taken a little while, if things really got back.
But the point was to mix things up.
Even if it's taking a right instead of a left. Or walking backwards for a couple feet. Or keeping your eyes closed when you turn on the lights.
Or even putting down the little Debby creme pies, which are like my favorite snack.
I haven't finished the interview yet. I made it past the first book promo
I'm very much enjoying this
I so needed to hear this. The disruptor. .I have an annoying diolgue about an injustice I go on n on. I need to use those disruptors ..yes wise words.
So refreshing competent warm and collected a master negotiation expert ❤
This interview highlights how we get caught up in the feelings of others and their perception of us. How much we are liked. It’s echos the effects of social media on ideas of popularity and how we are governed largely by our emotions when we have a goal or aim. It’s true we often get in the way of our own aims and miss the point of our drivers.
Love what you state about everyone has something good about them. Over the years, I have worked with youth, managed thousands of people, and if you start with this basis and are investing in others' lives for good, this is a good starting point.
I look forward to see episodes of Evy & Lisa combo ❤️💕
Evy u r an amazing inspiring woman thnku fr who u r...Lisa what ur doing is awesome too u bring us these amazing women of impact..what u r doing is awesome
Keep bringing back Evy!!
Thank You Both: You're just Great... I do Love _Unstoppable_ !! 💓
I think realising you have a choice, that when you understand hey I can have control over me and my actions is empowering because when you are used to family taking that control away from you and doing things you didn't want to do you would say hey, I don't have any control and then learning, there are little things I can have control over it was actually pretty cool to realise I can and I will be in charge of my life because a lot of people who come from controlling backgrounds don't realize they have a choice. For example I was talking about joining the armed forces but as a cook. I knew my passion was always about cooking and I thought hey, why not do it in a more adventurous place than your standard café because the armed forces have to eat. So when my parents came along and heard this is what I want to do (because as a rule I don't talk to them they try discouraging me so I just do stuff) from my careers advisor they changed my field of study, they actually meddled and changed my career path without even asking me! They said they picked me to do hospitality and catering and that sounds about right and - the only... THE ONLY reason, I accepted that in the end because it was remotely in a field of work I was interested in but they could have changed it around to anything. My parents have controlled everything from when I was young. I didn't see it then but I saw it more as I aged. When I was in my late twenties my Mom chased me around my flat with a long line of floss saying "let me floss your teeth!"
I do agree 👍🏼 with her when it comes to confrontational situations. I’ve been there.
Hum ladies thank you both.I am learning more and more with you.Yes your actions must speak louder
This is s a great interview. This is 2 people having an engaging conversation
I use these techniques and this advice works if you're willing to change and allow yourself to try and understand! High five please have this agent on more!
When she says, the way I could learn is I write everything, so I would hand write the textbook.
This really spoke to me because being a visual learner, I did the same exact thing and my ability to retain the info jumped tenfold.
I saw Evy and clicked sooooooooooooooooo fast! 💨 💨
OMG the specific pieces of advice Evy gives here. Evy repaired my confidence within two hours by confirming things I do right, assisting me in understanding the challenges I face and possible ways of resolving them or dealing with them. As simple as email writing hahahah - I would do the opposite - I would stick to my own ways of writing deliberately to show this is me and I am not going to change for you, instead of using what I already knew deep there - observing, understanding, mirroring and making connections even more efficiently. FANTASTIC!! Thank you ladies.
Such a good interview this. Thank you Lisa, thank you Evy, thank you all who made this possible. 💕
Both of these women are inspirational! Thank you.
This is pure gold 🤩 I am drawing so much value from Evy ❤ thank you for sharing all of this
I f'ing love this woman. I've just come across this podcast, literally just finished watching her other interview and both theses ladies are great, empowering and inspiring.
I would love Evy to take me thru my declutter process!! She’s a Ninja at everything else. I need her attitude!!!!
I love listening to Evy! Her wisdom is sound, it's cementing these mindsets in your head when it has been working in a different way for such a long time. I think in every one of her interviews, you can see her delivering her message, but also speaking to the interviewer themselves (I'm not even sure some are aware of it). Evy sizes up who is interviewing her by their body language and the questions they ask, so she can tell what is important to that particular interviewer....deep down what they feel is important. It's fascinating to watch her maneuver through an interview, and answer their inner most question about themselves! My question for Evy would be, "What is the destination, result/goal you are looking for in this/any interview" Because you know she has one as well!
I always start crying and quivering in conflict. So, I just avoid it. I am capable of very bad things and because I know that, I rather walk away because people always underestimate the level of pain I can put people through but, that’s not who I want to be. So I walk away. That’s also why I don’t own a gun - I know, I’ll use it.
Ugh 😩😩
If u r crying n quivering...ur fight n flight response kicks in .crying n quivering is freeze mode or flight mode. ...fight mode is hyper awareness n calmness in rough situation ..now u know where u stand!
@@kreejahdulip3292 😂😂😂🙏 we all can cook deeply
Great talk as always ladies ! Thank u!
Disclaimers in apologies are worse than no apology.
You two ladies are awesome. Binge watching the shows
EVY MY NO.1 REMINDER OF RESILLIENCE AND CONFIDENCE. I FUCKING LOVED READING HER BOOK AT THE BEGINNING OF APRIL. COULD PROBABLY REREAD IT MAYBE AUDIO NEXT TIME!
This video has changed my perspective in such many ways!!!! A million thanks!!!🤩✨🙌🏼
I like the honest discussion of anger issues and taking time to respond instead of react, dealing with betrayal, building confidence, preparation for competence to build confidence and the gratitude we need for learning our lessons well.
Thank you Dear Ladies for making womanhood a respectable gender. Hopefully The People will move beyond gonads and melanin and manifest the best of all cultures I am sure I speak for the women I spent two and a half years with in IPV Support and our children.
Peace, love and may God bless you as we joyfully approach the narrow gate on this road less traveled . 😊
"If you're not having a good time it's you're own dam* fault."
Dad
A psychiatrist and Diplomat for
University of Georgetown
School of Neurology and Psychiatry
Saint Mary's College
Suma cum laude - Chemistry and Philosophy;
Georgetown Medical School - WWII deferment;
Lieutenant US Naval Hospital Vessel,
Korean War;
Honorable Papa San would be 101 this year! How many times will you get to see your special family members again?
Wow Ladies 😇😇 this video was so POWERFUL ...I learn so much from you Evy....I Have 4pages of notes here.😄..writing stoping listening Your are such an inspirational woman ....You two ladies blend so beautifully Lisa you just seem to ask the right questions😄like Evy said you have good body language.... THANK YOU SO MUCH ...😘😘😘🥰🥰🥰love you both
I absolutely love this….. THANK YOU… ❤️❤️❤️
Your videos with you both have helped me so much! Thanks so much.
"Everybody lies" is true in that there's been some time or situation in which you lied, but not everybody is a chronic or habitual liar. I despise chronic liars. It's not a trait to say "oh, everybody does it" and simply accept it. Ok, yes, I lead a majority solo life because I don't like having liars around me. It's not ok, but I think she's accepting what is, as opposed to what is ok. In her career of course lying is part of it.
Wow, I’m learning a lot with you two ❤ thank you very much 🎉🎉
You guys are too funny. This is the second time I am almost to work, you say something that makes me bust out laughing. Disrespect is increasingly difficult especially when it's the boss and younger people. You guys are Awesome!😊
Thank you so much, sharing is such a beautiful thing to do. This was the most iconic session and compilation. Thank you Lisa for always bring the best of the guest and make all the right and thoughtful questions.
Great channel, really enjoyed this interview. Thanks!
Watching this show for me was sooooo transfiguring, helped me cope today. Big thank you!
I love the phrase "I am captain of my ship" It has even more meaning when I think about my last lucid dream. I looked at the clock two different times in my dream and the second time I looked I noticed that the time had not changed at all. Hours seemed to have gone by. I remembered something about lucid dreaming and clocks and the dream broke. Everything just started going to hell until it was just me on a ship in a galaxy of stars. I controlled my dream and in my dream I was on a ship. I am captain of my ship ☺️
Fascinsting from start to finish! Thank you!❤!
Knowledge = Power : Competence = Being powerful; Confident
Amazing amazing helpful video!!!! Thank you so much, this helps so much
Inner language is so important. THANKS LADIES.
Wow! Alots to learn. Thank you 🙏
Great message 👍
I’ve avoided confrontation all my life and I hate it. I don’t think I don’t do it on purpose I’ve lost my ability to speak. My body won’t even move. I think I dissociate. I just freeze. But I might be better now that I’m older idk. My chest just felt tense as I said that lol geez. Not over it.