==[ #72 ]================================================== The Producer === CUTS: 91 seconds GAINED: 132 seconds 21:20 / 23:32 ~~~~~ ACT I (0:00) 0:49 / 0:49 ! Even though both the original and syndicated times come out the same ! for act one, there is still a little bit of compression begining ! with the Skipper asking, "What do you think this is for? Roasting ! marshmallows?," gaining less than a second for the syndicated ! version. ~~~~~ ACT II (1:36) 7:00 / 8:36 Ginger continues to listen to the radio. % Cut to a shot of Gilligan driving towards the lagoon in the % pedal-powered car. Cut to the Skipper reaching down for firewood. % % (2:40 - 2:43) The syndicated version cuts into this shot. ~~ Hecuba: Sir. The keyword is "sir." S-I-R. (snaps fingers) Remember that! % He starts to walk towards the other room in the hut. Cut to the % Skipper and Howell. % % Skipper: Mr. Howell, a rescue plane is coming to get him and he's % gonna take us along so do what he wants. % % Howell: I know but... % % Howell squirms in protest. % % Skipper: Please % % (5:55 - 6:05) Lovey enters carrying flowers. Lovey: Darling I found the most beautiful flowers. (to Hecuba) Hello. ~~ Off screen Hecuba whistles. Mary Ann: (Angrily) Oh, his master's voice! Ginger: Mary Ann, let me serve him. The screen rotates... % ...to a shot of Hecuba sitting alone at a small table unfolding a % napkin. Ginger exits the hut portraying an Italian peasant. She % wears a brunette wig and a tattered dress. She sings in Italian and % drops Hecuba's salad bowl down on the table. % % Hecuba: Never mind the floorshow, kid. Get me some water. % % He goes to hand Ginger his bamboo shoot. % % Ginger: Water? Sure I bring you water. Ehhh. What do you care about % the poor starving people as long as you stuff yourself with % water? Eh. % Hecuba: What? % Ginger: You want water. I don't have a dress to my name. % Hecuba: (referring to her dress) What's that you're wearing? % Ginger: This? This is a dress that I share with my four sisters. % Only one of us can leave the house at a time, and you want % water! % Hecuba: All right, forget the water, just bring me some bread. % Ginger: Bread! Eh! Now he wants some bread. Starving in the Piazza % de Steve Reeves, and you want bread. All right, I get you % bread. You stuff your fat face with bread. Mama Mia! % % She continues to mutter in Italian gibberish and goes back into the % hut. % % Hecuba: (to himself) I think I saw this in a picture once. % % The screen rotates... % % (7:34 - 8:31) ...to a shot of Ginger exiting the hut backwards with a dinner plate. She's dressed a Marilyn Monroe. The sexy Ginger music plays. Hecuba finishes his salad and Ginger brings him the main course. Ginger: Here you are, Mr. Hecuba. (she sits down with him) Here's your bread and water. Hecuba: What do you want, applause? She seductively rubs his head. Ginger: I don't know what you want with bread and water as long as I'm around. Hecuba: Please, kid, not while I'm eating. Eh. Ginger: You know, once men have tasted my lips, they're never satisfied with bread and water again. Hecuba: Hold it, now what's going on here? Ginger: I just wanted to show you what a versatile actress I am, Mr. Hecuba. Couldn't you see me starring in your new movie? Hecuba: Oh you've got to be kidding. With that phony dialect and that overacting in a Harold Hecuba production? Like the man said when he backed into the stove, "That's a hot one!" He cruelly laughs at Ginger and she begins to cry. The syndicated version fades here. % Ginger runs away crying. % % Hecuba: (to himself, mocking Ginger) "I bring you bread!, I bring % you bread!" (laughs) It's too... (he waves his arms in % disbelief) Actors. Actors. % % Fade to... % % (9:21 - 9:31) ...a shot of Ginger outside the hut as Gilligan and the Skipper try to console her. ! Hecuba's line about Ginger's "phony dialect" looses meaning in the ! syndicated version. ~~~~~ ACT III (0:36) 12:54 / 13:30 Hecuba gets out of bed to investigate the music. He puts his feet in his slippers... Gilligan: (os) So hear my plea. I beg of thee. % Hecuba grabs his bathrobe. % % Gilligan: (os) And say you see a little hope for me. % % Cut back to Gilligan on stage. % % Gilligan: To fight or flee, to fight or flee, I ask myself to be or % not to be. % % (13:47 - 13:58) Cut to a shot of the Howells as Claudius and Gertrude walking onto the stage. ~~~~~ ACT IV (0:00) 0:37 / 0:37
==[ #70 ]========================================= Gilligan vs. Gilligan === CUTS: 82 seconds GAINED: 132 seconds 21:22 / 23:34 ! An exception for this episode, the original opening uses the second ! season Professor/left, Mary Ann/right opening but the syndicated ! version uses the standard season three Mary Ann/left, Professor/ ! right version. ~~~~~ ACT I (0:03) 1:52 / 1:55 ~~~~~ ACT II (1:41) 8:02 / 9:43 Skipper: Gilligan, that's the silliest story you ever made up. You didn't eat the pie, a guy who looks just like you ate the pie. Gilligan: He did. I saw him right across the stream... % ...there he was, me. % Professor: Gilligan, did you say you looked across the stream? % Gilligan: Yeah, on the other side. % Professor: May I suggest, Gilligan, that your conscience became % temporarily unable to handle the guilt of your % misdemeanor so you fantasized an ego-image displacement % out of your own reflection? May I suggest that? % Gilligan: You may suggest that, but I won't understand it. % % (3:25 - 3:42) Professor: What you saw was your own reflection in the water. Gilligan: He wasn't in the water, he was on the other side. ~~ Gilligan: Do I look any different? Lovey: ...No. But if you're contemplating a change I heartily approve. Gilligan: Thank you, Mrs. Howell. % Lovey: Thank you for what? % Gilligan: For telling me I look like Gilligan and sound like % Gilligan. % Lovey: People say thanks for the strangest things... % % (6:51 - 6:58) ...Gilligan. Mr. Howell's clothes and my clothes! Gilligan: I'm sorry Mrs. Howell, they just fell on the ground. ~~ Howell: Make that two couches. That boy really needs help. Professor: You say this fellow who looked like you had a shiny gold pocketknife. Gilligan: Uh huh. A really big one with all sorts of blades... % ...My grandfather had one like that. It has all kinds of % attachments. % Skipper: Gilligan. % Gilligan: A screwdriver and a can opener. % Skipper: Never mind, Gilligan! % Professor: Perhaps we should investigate this. % Howell: Before lunch? Not even Perry Mason investigates on an % empty stomach. % Skipper: Come on now, Professor. Do you really think someone else % is on this island? % Professor: A shiny gold pocketknife? % % (8:25 - 8:39) Cut to a shot of the Gilligan imposter listening in the bushes. Professor: Even Gilligan wouldn't omit a curious detail like that. Come on, lets go. Skipper: (laying down his fishing pole) All right, lets go. They all leave except Howell. Gilligan stops. Gilligan: Mr. Howell, aren't you coming? Howell: Uh, no Gilligan. There are two things I detest. One is investigating a mystery before lunch. Gilligan: And the other? Howell: Any sort of danger. (chuckles) See you later dear boy. The others walk into the jungle. The Gilligan imposter folds up his knife and retreats into the jungle. Fade to... % ...Gilligan, the Skipper, and the Professor trekking through the % jungle. % % Skipper: Well? % Gilligan: I went that way. % % They start to walk in that direction. Gilligan suddenly stops. % % Gilligan: No, I just remembered, I just remembered, I went that % way... I think. % Professor: Well, why don't we separate and each take a different % direction? % Skipper: Good idea, Professor. Now if anybody sees anything or % finds anything, just yell. % Gilligan: Especially somebody who looks like me holding a shiny % gold pocketknife. % Skipper: Especially that. % % They all go off in different directions. Fade to the Skipper looking % around the jungle. Cut to the Professor looking around the jungle. % Cut to... % % (9:04 - 9:46) The syndicated version fades here. The real Gilligan walks though the jungle alone and discovers the imposter's backpack. ~~~~~ ACT III (0:26) 10:28 / 10:54 ~~~~~ ACT IV (0:02) 1:00 / 1:02 % At the start of the act, the establishing shot of Gilligan and the % Skipper's hut is about two seconds shorter. % % (23:39 - 23:41)
==[ #74 ]========================================== Where There's a Will === CUTS: 78 seconds GAINED: 130 seconds 21:22 / 23:32 ~~~~~ ACT I (0:26) 2:06 / 2:32 ! The syndicated version puts the first commercial break between the ! opening credits and the first act with no break between the first ! and second act. ~~ Professor: Ginger, what's his pulse? Ginger: What's 204 divided by 3 minutes? Professor: Sixty-eight. Well, his pulse is normal, too. % Lovey: (entering the hut) Darling, I brought you some hot soup. % Howell: No, no, no, no. % Lovey: Oh dear. Is it starve a cold and feed a fever, or feed a % fever and starve a cold? Oh well, it doesn't matter. Why do % you get such complicated diseases? % % The Skipper enters the hut with an oxygen tank. % % Skipper: Professor, I brought some oxygen from the boat. % Professor: Well, that won't be necessary, Skipper. % Howell: Professor, you've got to help me. Call a specialist, % develop a new serum but you gotta save poor little me... % % (2:08 - 2:31) ...Oh, that smarts. Professor: Actually, Mr. Howell, you are suffering from an internal disorder of the gastro-intestinal tract, which has manifested itself in contractions of the upper transverse colon. ! In the syndicated version Lovey and the Skipper seem to pop into the ! hut from out of nowhere. ~~~~~ ACT II (0:22) 8:25 / 8:47 ~~~~~ ACT III (1:22) 10:00 / 11:22 Gilligan: They usually fall in the quicksand. Lovey: Quicksand! Skipper: We better go get him right now. Lovey: Get him! Get him! They all run out of the hut. The syndicated version fades about a second sooner. % Fade to a shot of Howell trekking through the jungle. He wipes a % log with a napkin, sits down, and peels a banana. % % Gilligan: (os) Mr. Howell? % Skipper: (os) Where are you? % Professor: (os) I think he came this way. % Howell: Oh, oh, they're getting closer. But they'll never get me. % Never. Do you hear? Onward! % % Cut to a shot of Gilligan, the Skipper, and the Professor looking % for Howell. % % Gilligan: Oh! Boy, is he slippery? Huh? % Skipper: Oh! % Professor: I was positive... (the others bump into him) I was % positive he headed in this direction. % Skipper: Professor, he must have been here. Look, here's a banana. % Gilligan: That doesn't mean he was here. An ape probably dropped % that. % Skipper: Oh Gilligan, does an ape use a napkin? % Gilligan: If he's neat. % % The Professor notices a broken palm leaf. % % Professor: He went this way. Come on. % % They follow him. % % (18:36 - 19:31) The syndicated version fades to a shot of Howell trekking onwards. ~~~~~ ACT IV (0:00) 0:51 / 0:51
==[ #69 ]===================================================== Up at Bat === CUTS: 81 seconds GAINED: 132 seconds 21:22 / 23:34 ~~~~~ ACT I (0:02) 1:13 / 1:15 ~~~~~ ACT II (0:48) 9:12 / 10:00 At the start of the act, Gilligan and the Skipper run out of the jungle to the Professor sitting at a table reading some books. Gilligan: Hey, Professor! Professor! Professor: What is it? What is it? What's happened? Gilligan: It flew right through the air and bit me on the neck. I'm gonna become a vampire and turn into a bat. I'm gonna fly through the night and drink blood and talk funny. (as vampire) "Good evening," and other weird things like that. % Skipper: Can you help him, Professor? % Gilligan: Yeah, please help me, Professor. I wouldn't be a good % vampire. I faint at the sight of blood. I'll starve to % death. % Professor: All right, Gilligan. You just try to calm yourself. % Skipper, you'd better tell me exactly what happened. Uh, % something bit Gilligan on the neck? % Skipper: Exactly. See. It was in a cave and a big vampire bat came % out and bit him right on the neck there. And now when % there's a full moon, he's gonna turn into a vampire. % % (2:32 - 2:49) Professor: Nonsense Gilligan: It's not nonsense. ~~ Ginger: Oh, I know. But I like to get another opinion. She sprays some perfume on her arm. % She sprays a few more pumps. Cut to the outside of Ginger and Mary % Ann's hut. The Skipper and Gilligan approach with the Skipper taking % Gilligan by the arm. % % Skipper: Now look, get in there and let the girls patch you up. % I'll go get some shovels so we can close up the cave. % Gilligan: Yeah. We don't want those bats to get out of the cave... % Skipper: Gilligan, shhh... % % (4:02 - 4:11) ...remember now, what the Professor said. Not a word of this to the girls. ~~~~~ ACT III (1:20) 10:15 / 11:35 Gilligan: Now when I turn into a bat I won't be able to fly out and bite my friends. All my buddies will be safe. I'll be in here all alone, forever. Boy, am I unselfish. Boy, am I noble. Boy am I scared. He wraps a blanket around himself and cowers up against the wall of the cave. The syndicated version fades here. % Cut to the interior of Gilligan and the Skipper's hut. The Skipper % enters smiling and looking for Gilligan. % % Skipper: Gilligan. Gilligan, little buddy, I've got great news for % you. You're all right. You weren't bitten by a vampire bat. % You were bitten by a fruit bat. (realizing Gilligan isn't % there) Gilligan? % % He finds a note left in Gilligan's hammock. % % Gilligan: (voice over) Dear good pals, I am running away to save % your lives. Don't try to find me, 'cause if you do, I'll % just stick my fangs in your neck and that could wreck % our friendship. Goodbye forever. Your friend, Gilligan, % the vampire. % % Skipper: Oh Gilligan, why did you do a dumb thing like that? % % He continues reading the note. % % Gilligan: (voice over) PS: This was the only dumb thing I could % think of doing. % % The Skipper calls to the Professor outside the hut. He leaves. The % screen rotates to the Professor's hut. The other castaways crowd % around the Professor as he looks at the note. % % Professor: This is serious. Gilligan isn't rational in his present % state. % Skipper: Yes, of course Professor, but he wouldn't stand a chance % in the jungle all night. % Howell: Yeah, we've got to find him before it gets dark. % Professor: I suggest we organize search parties immediately. All % right, let's go. % Howell: Yes. Lovey, I think you and I better go by way of our % hut. % % Fade to... % % (14:31 - 15:26) ...a shot of the full moon. ~~~~~ ACT IV (0:02) 0:42 / 0:44
==[ #73 ]======================================================== Voodoo === CUTS: 95 seconds GAINED: 132 seconds 21:22 / 23:34 ~~~~~ ACT I (0:03) 1:48 / 1:51 ~~~~~ ACT II (1:31) 8:14 / 9:45 Gilligan: I'm gonna get the hex outta here! Gilligan runs out of the hut. Professor: Skipper, you've got that poor fella scared half to death. Now believe me there isn't a voodoo witch doctor within a thousand miles of here. Fade to... % ...a shot of the Witch Doctor looking through the window of the % girls' hut. The shot widens to Ginger and Mary Ann sitting down % looking at all the jewelry Gilligan gave them. % % Mary Ann: I feel like I've been locked all night in a jewelry store. % Ginger: Imagine, a man giving a girl all this and asking nothing % in return. % Mary Ann: That's our Gilligan. % % (4:41 - 4:55) The syndicated version fades here. Ginger: (gasps) Aww, Isn't this beautiful? Shot of the Witch Doctor at the window. Mary Ann: (os) How do I look? Ginger: Well, let me see. They both take out mirrors to look at themselves. Ginger stands up and it seems that both of thier necklaces are connected. Mary Ann: (gasps) Uh oh! Ginger: Oh! Oh. We're stuck... Maybe if we stand up? Mary Ann: Well, don't stand up. Ginger, you'll strangle me. Ginger: Well, I can't keep standing like that. Shot of the Witch Doctor at the window. He reaches in and takes some of the girls' things. Mary Ann: (os) Oh, sorry. Ginger: (os) Well, stand on your toes, can't you? Mary Ann: (os) All right. Cut to a shot of them struggling more. % They continue to struggle. % % Ginger: It's hopeless. I guess we're just gonna be stuck this way % forever. % % (5:22 - 5:28) Cut to a shot of the Witch Doctor in the window with Ginger and Mary Ann voodoo dolls back to back. He separates them. Cut back to the girls getting their necklaces separated. They're both relieved. Fade to the Howell hut. Lovey: Thurston, the strangest thing has happened. I left my lipstick on this table and it's disappeared. Did you take it? Howell: I, do I look like the kind of man who would use lipstick? (laughs) Cut to a shot of the Witch Doctor in the clearing. He uses Mrs. Howell's lipstick as war makeup. % Cut back to the Howell hut. % % Howell: You know speaking of missing articles, my, my, wallet is % missing. % Lovey: Oh Darling, I was talking about something important. After % all, what's in a wallet? Only money. % Howell: True, my dear, that's so true. (referring to a pin on her % blouse) Whatever is that? It looks like a hubcap. % Lovey: Gilligan found this in a cave and gave it to me. % Howell: Obviously costume jewelry. % Lovey: Well, obviously. Anything real would come from Fifth Avenue. % % There's a knock on the door. % % (5:51 - 6:13) Howell: Come in. It's the Professor. Professor: Mrs. Howell, I understand that Gilligan... Oh, I see you're wearing it. ~~ Howell: I'm a man of supreme courage. No spook would dare tangle with Thurston Howell III. After you, my dear. They enter the cave. Cut to the Witch Doctor adding dolls of the Howells to the line. % Cut to a shot of Gilligan and the Skipper in the cave digging. Pan % over to the girls cowering with the Professor. Continue panning over % to the Howells. % % Lovey: (looking at an artifact) What marvelous work these natives % did, Thurston. They really were way ahead of their time. % Howell: Yes, but what are they? % Lovey: Well, obviously, a pair of bookends. % Howell: Books weren't invented then. % Lovey: Well, that's what I said, they were way ahead of their time. % % Cut to a shot of Gilligan and the Skipper digging. % % (10:29 - 10:51) The syndicated version cut into this shot about a second later. Skipper: Gilligan, what have you found? Gilligan: A hungry old man. ~~ Professor: The seeds of fear were planted in your minds and you all succumbed to the notion that voodoo and witch doctors really do exist. Now naturally, having read books and seen motion pictures and television shows you all began to react to what you had seen. The castaways squirm as if the ground is hot. % Cut to a shot of the Witch Doctor gleefully passing a torch under % the voodoo dolls' feet. He laughs. Cut back to the cave. % % Professor: Now an excellent book... % Gilligan: (interrupting the Professor) Skipper, my feet are getting % hot. % Skipper: Yeah, so are mine. % % (12:01 - 12:09) Lovey: Thurston, this is most uncomfortable. Mary Ann: Not only that, it hurts. Howell: I'm getting out of here. Lovey: So am I. Ginger: Women and children first. They all run out of the cave and fight to be to first one out. Cut to the outside of the cave. They continue to run. % Cut back to the Witch Doctor gleefully passing a torch under the % voodoo dolls' feet. Cut to a wide shot of the lagoon beach. The % castaways run towards the water. Cut to a closer shot of the % castaways. % % (12:27 - 12:33) The syndicated version cuts into this shot. They all run into the lagoon to cool off thier feet. ~~~~~ ACT III (0:38) 10:40 / 11:18 % The establishing shot of the palm trees at the start of the act % starts about a second later. % % (12:43 - 12:44) ~~ Gilligan: You notice anything different about the Professor? Skipper: There's nothing different about the Professor. He's just as stubborn as he ever was... Cut to the Professor frozen. % Gilligan: I didn't know he could sleep standing up. % Skipper: He's not sleeping. % Gilligan: Oh, yeah, his eyes are open. % % The Skipper attempts to revive the Professor by snapping his % fingers. % % Skipper: Professor... Professor. % Gilligan: Maybe I should get an alarm clock or go % "cock-a-doodle-do." % % (14:09 - 14:25) Skipper: He's not sleeping. He's been tuned into a zombie. ~~~~~ ACT IV (0:00) 0:40 / 0:40
==[ #75 ]================================================ Man With a Net === CUTS: 74 seconds GAINED: 128 seconds 21:23 / 23:31 ~~~~~ ACT I (0:00) 0:41 / 0:41 ! Like with episode 72, there is a tiny bit of compression accounting ! for less than a second begining with the shot of the butterfly on ! Gilligan's hat. ~~~~~ ACT II (1:45) 10:25 / 12:10 The girls find Lord Beasley hanging from a branch on the underside of the cliff. Beasley: Hurry! Hurry! He went that way!! The screen rotates... % ...to the hut area. The castaways sit around with their feet in % buckets of water. % % Skipper: How are your feet Gilligan? % Gilligan: I don't know, Skipper. My feet and I aren't on speaking % terms. % Professor: Well, we've been over almost every inch of this island % and we're not even sure that Lord Beasley has even seen a % Pussycat Swallowtail yet! % Howell: Well, where else can he find to look? % % Just then, Lord Beasley walks past them, wearing a scuba suit and % carrying a butterfly net. % % Howell: Good Heavens! % Ginger: Looking for a butterfly under the water? % Howell: That's what I call a determined man. % Skipper: That's what I call a determined nut. % % (6:24 - 6:55) In the syndicated version the screen rotates to a shot of Ginger and the Howells sitting on a lounge chair. Lovey: There must be some way to make that man forget his silly butterfly and get us off this island now. ! Lord Beasley can be briefly seen in the scuba suit after this cut ! loosing context in the syndicated version. ~~ Lovey: Well you know darling, there's only one honest way to influence anybody. Howell: You're right. (laughs) Bribery. The screen rotates... % ...to the supply hut. Lord Beasley sits in front of a handmade map % of the island while he ponders his next location for search. Howell % enters the hut. % % Beasley: Lets see, yesterday we looked here and here. % % Lord Beasley sticks pins in the map indicating locations already % searched. He is oblivious to Howell's entry. % % Howell: Ah, good evening Lord Beasley may I come in? % % Lord Beasley does not acknowledge Howell's presence. % % Beasley: And the day before we looked here. % % He adds another pin. % % Howell: Oh, thank you very much. May I say that you look like a % million dollars. Would you like to try for two million? % % Lord Beasley doesn't respond to Howell. % % Beasley: And we've also looked here. % Howell: Lord Beasley I'm a very wealthy man and to get me off this % island I'd happily pay you one hundred thousand dollars. % % Lord Beasley does not respond. % % Beasley: Now we've looked by the cove. % Howell: Happily, two hundred thousand. % % Again no response. % % Beasley: Also yes, yes by the bat cave. % Howell: Unhappily, three hundred thousand dollars. % % Still no response from Lord Beasley. % % Beasley: I believe I looked there, yes I did. % Howell: Lord Beasley will you at least give me the courtesy of % listening when I'm trying to bribe you. % Beasley: Now the question is, where shall I look again. (noticing % something on the map) Aaaaah!. % Howell: Please listen to me! % % Mr. Howell stands between the map and Lord Beasley in order to get % his attention. % % Beasley: The center of he island. % % Lord Beasley tries to stick a pin in the map, but sticks Howell % instead. Lord Beasley walks out of the hut. % % Howell: Heavens I've had an appendectomy! % % The screen rotates... % % (8:04 - 8:47) ...to Lord Beasley at the map again. It's now Ginger's turn. ! It's odd that the scene of the Howells discussing the plan to bribe ! Lord Beasley beforehand is left intact yet the scene of Mr. Howell ! implementing the plan is cut. Howell also refers to this cut scene ! later at the picnic table. ~~~~~ ACT III (0:20) 8:02 / 8:22 ~~~~~ ACT IV (0:03) 2:15 / 2:18
==[ #76 ]===================================== Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow === CUTS: 79 seconds GAINED: 130 seconds 21:21 / 23:31 ~~~~~ ACT I (0:10) 2:01 / 2:11 At the start of the episode, the opening credits roll over a shot of Gilligan and the Skipper's hut. % Cut to a shot of the door from the outside. The Skipper walks out % and calls for Gilligan. Cut to a shot of Gilligan at the lagoon % putting laundry in a sack. % % (1:16 - 1:23) The syndicated version cuts into this shot. The Skipper calls for Gilligan off screen. ~~~~~ ACT II (1:35) 8:32 / 10:07 Mary Ann lifts up Gilligan's hat. Mary Ann: White hair. She screams, faints, and Gilligan catches her. Ginger walks into the scene. Ginger: Gilligan? Gilligan: Mary Ann. Ginger sees Gilligan's white hair, screams, faints, and also lands in Gilligan's arms. Gilligan: Professor! Oh... The screen rotates... % ...to the Professor's hut. % % Skipper: Tell me the truth, Professor. I can take it now. What's % wrong with my little buddy? % Professor: Well, I was telling you the truth before. Now... % Skipper: But the truth, the real truth. % Professor: But I told you the real truth. % Skipper: No-holds-barred. The truth, the whole truth, and nothing % but the truth. Now, blurt it out. % % (4:52 - 5:06) In the syndicated version the screen rotates here. Professor: He's suffering from follicular albinism. ~~ Mary Ann: Don't you feel anything surging in your blood? Gilligan: Oh, I do. I do. I think my arteries are hardening. Gilligan's face shakes. Mary Ann lifts her head up. In the syndicated version the screen rotates here. % Mary Ann looks at Gilligan. Fade to the picnic table with Lovey and % the Professor seated. The Professor looks through a book. The % Skipper walks towards them. % % Skipper: The Gabor sisters struck out. % Lovey: What a shame. Gilligan is just too young to be old. % Skipper: Can't you think of anything, Professor? % Professor: I'm sorry, Skipper. I... % Lovey: I thought of something. Of all people. % Professor: Well, what is it, Mrs. Howell? % Lovey: Well, some women when their hair turns gray, dye it % another color. % Professor: Why, I think, I think you've got something there. % Lovey: Naturally, I've never have to dye my hair. But the women % who do feel much younger. % Skipper: It might work, that is if he doesn't know about it. % Professor: I can get the ingredients from vegetable coloring for a % good brown hair dye. % Skipper: Great. Now, we'll wait until later tonight when % Gilligan's asleep. Then Mrs. Howell can apply it to his % hair. % Professor: When he wakes up in the morning with brown hair, he'll % feel like a new man. % Lovey: A new young man. % Skipper: Oh, I sure hope so. 'Cause if he says to me once more: % "Look both ways before you cross the street, sonny," % I'll... % % He goes to hit the Professor with his hat. The Professor cowers and % the Skipper stops. % % Skipper: Pardon me, Professor, but it does kind of get me right % there. (pounds on his heart) % % The screen rotates... % % (10:34 - 11:32) ...to a shot of Gilligan and the Skipper in their hammocks. ~~~~~ ACT III (0:25) 10:14 / 10:39 ~~~~~ ACT IV (0:00) 0:34 / 0:34
==[ #71 ]==================================== Pass the Vegetables Please === CUTS: 97 seconds GAINED: 131 seconds 21:21 / 23:32 ~~~~~ ACT I (0:30) 1:49 / 2:19 Gilligan: Skipper, I got a bite, a real big one, Skipper. Skipper: So do I. Mine must weigh fifty pounds. Watch it, little buddy... % ...You're fouling my line. % % They continue fishing, stumbling over each other. % % Skipper: Gilligan, you're fouling my line. Now get it lose. Watch my % line, little buddy, you're getting it all fouled up. % % They struggle more. % % Skipper: Gilligan... % % (1:40 - 1:53) Cut to a shot of Gilligan and the Skipper from the front. Skipper: ...you're fouling my line, now get it loose. (they struggle more) Get it loose. The Skipper steps in a bucket of water. He stumbles around with the bucket and sits on a rock. Skipper: Gilligan. The Skipper looses his grip on the fishing pole and it's dragged into the lagoon. Skipper: Gilligan, get my line. Gilligan retrieves the pole for him. Skipper: Get my foot out of this bucket. Pull. Gilligan pulls the bucket off the Skipper's foot and his shoe comes off. He hands Gilligan his fishing pole. Skipper: Whose side are you on? The fish's? Now just get it yourself. The Skipper starts to walk away. % He realizes he doesn't have his shoe. % Skipper: Gilligan, will you hand me that shoe? % % Gilligan tosses him the whole pail with the shoe in it. Water spills % out. The Skipper angrily takes out the shoe and tosses the pail. % He storms away. Cut to a shot of Gilligan with the fishing pole. He % looks perplexed. % % (2:26 - 2:41) Cut to a shot of a crate in the lagoon as Gilligan reels it in. ~~~~~ ACT II (1:25) 8:40 / 10:05 Lovey: But sugar beets come in cans. Cut to a shot of Howell looking mildly annoyed. Gilligan: (os) No, no. First you have to plant them in the ground. % Cut to a shot of Gilligan and Lovey. % % Lovey: Oh please, don't be silly. I've seen them in their natural % habitat, a supermarket. % Howell: Not shopping you understand, just sightseeing. % Lovey: Actually, I was showing some visiting royalty a poverty % pocket. % Gilligan: Mrs. Howell, sugar beets have to come out of the ground % before you can put them in cans. % Lovey: What a perfectly ghastly idea. % Gilligan: Well, you'll see when we plant them all in the ground. % Howell: I hope you're using the editorial "we." % Lovey: Thurston means you can't expect a Howell to dig in the % ground. % % (4:31 - 4:54) Gilligan: But you have to dig before you plant. Howell: If you mention manual labor once more, I'm going to order you off the property. Lovey: Now you see, Gilligan, your silly notions have upset Mr. Howell. Gilligan: Mrs. Howell, if you really want sugar beets... Lovey: Well, I do. I do. I just adore them. Gilligan: Well, we all have to pitch in, then. Lovey: Oh, well, I intend to do my part, I assure you. Gilligan: Good. Dig, plant, water, fertilize, or pick? Which would you rather do? Lovey: Eat. The syndicated version fades here... % Annoyed, Gilligan takes the crate of seeds away as the Howells % snatch individual boxes out of it. Fade to Mary Ann going through % the crate as laundry is left out to dry. Gilligan approaches. Mary % Ann reads off the boxes in the crate. % % Mary Ann: Beets, squash, lettuce. % Gilligan: My favorite is spinach. % Mary Ann: My favorite doesn't seem to be here. Well, spinach, % cucumber. Truffles? % Gilligan: Don't you know what a truffle is? % Mary Ann: No. We never grew any in Kansas. % Gilligan: A truffle is a subterranean tube that runs into a % (stammering) fungus. % % They both look confused. % % Gilligan: That runs into a fungus? % Mary Ann: What?! % Gilligan: I wish the Professor would learn to speak English. % % Mary Ann continues looking in the crate. % % Mary Ann: Radishes, Swiss chard, carrots! % Gilligan: You like carrots? % Mary Ann: Oh, like them? I love 'em. Oh Gilligan, they're awfully % good for you. Why the more you eat, the better your % eyesight. % Gilligan: Everybody knows that carrots are good for your eyes. % Mary Ann: Why, certainly. % Gilligan: After all, did you ever see a rabbit wearing glasses? % % He chuckles. Mary Ann looks amused. Gilligan walks away and Mary Ann % continues looking through the crate. Fade... % % (5:15 - 6:01) ...to Gilligan and the Skipper plowing. ~~~~~ ACT III (0:16) 10:06 / 10:22 ~~~~~ ACT IV (0:00) 0:46 / 0:46
==[ #72 ]================================================== The Producer ===
CUTS: 91 seconds GAINED: 132 seconds 21:20 / 23:32
~~~~~ ACT I (0:00) 0:49 / 0:49
! Even though both the original and syndicated times come out the same
! for act one, there is still a little bit of compression begining
! with the Skipper asking, "What do you think this is for? Roasting
! marshmallows?," gaining less than a second for the syndicated
! version.
~~~~~ ACT II (1:36) 7:00 / 8:36
Ginger continues to listen to the radio.
% Cut to a shot of Gilligan driving towards the lagoon in the
% pedal-powered car. Cut to the Skipper reaching down for firewood.
%
% (2:40 - 2:43)
The syndicated version cuts into this shot.
~~
Hecuba: Sir. The keyword is "sir." S-I-R. (snaps fingers) Remember
that!
% He starts to walk towards the other room in the hut. Cut to the
% Skipper and Howell.
%
% Skipper: Mr. Howell, a rescue plane is coming to get him and he's
% gonna take us along so do what he wants.
%
% Howell: I know but...
%
% Howell squirms in protest.
%
% Skipper: Please
%
% (5:55 - 6:05)
Lovey enters carrying flowers.
Lovey: Darling I found the most beautiful flowers. (to Hecuba)
Hello.
~~
Off screen Hecuba whistles.
Mary Ann: (Angrily) Oh, his master's voice!
Ginger: Mary Ann, let me serve him.
The screen rotates...
% ...to a shot of Hecuba sitting alone at a small table unfolding a
% napkin. Ginger exits the hut portraying an Italian peasant. She
% wears a brunette wig and a tattered dress. She sings in Italian and
% drops Hecuba's salad bowl down on the table.
%
% Hecuba: Never mind the floorshow, kid. Get me some water.
%
% He goes to hand Ginger his bamboo shoot.
%
% Ginger: Water? Sure I bring you water. Ehhh. What do you care about
% the poor starving people as long as you stuff yourself with
% water? Eh.
% Hecuba: What?
% Ginger: You want water. I don't have a dress to my name.
% Hecuba: (referring to her dress) What's that you're wearing?
% Ginger: This? This is a dress that I share with my four sisters.
% Only one of us can leave the house at a time, and you want
% water!
% Hecuba: All right, forget the water, just bring me some bread.
% Ginger: Bread! Eh! Now he wants some bread. Starving in the Piazza
% de Steve Reeves, and you want bread. All right, I get you
% bread. You stuff your fat face with bread. Mama Mia!
%
% She continues to mutter in Italian gibberish and goes back into the
% hut.
%
% Hecuba: (to himself) I think I saw this in a picture once.
%
% The screen rotates...
%
% (7:34 - 8:31)
...to a shot of Ginger exiting the hut backwards with a dinner
plate. She's dressed a Marilyn Monroe. The sexy Ginger music plays.
Hecuba finishes his salad and Ginger brings him the main course.
Ginger: Here you are, Mr. Hecuba. (she sits down with him) Here's
your bread and water.
Hecuba: What do you want, applause?
She seductively rubs his head.
Ginger: I don't know what you want with bread and water as long as
I'm around.
Hecuba: Please, kid, not while I'm eating. Eh.
Ginger: You know, once men have tasted my lips, they're never
satisfied with bread and water again.
Hecuba: Hold it, now what's going on here?
Ginger: I just wanted to show you what a versatile actress I am, Mr.
Hecuba. Couldn't you see me starring in your new movie?
Hecuba: Oh you've got to be kidding. With that phony dialect and
that overacting in a Harold Hecuba production? Like the man
said when he backed into the stove, "That's a hot one!"
He cruelly laughs at Ginger and she begins to cry. The syndicated
version fades here.
% Ginger runs away crying.
%
% Hecuba: (to himself, mocking Ginger) "I bring you bread!, I bring
% you bread!" (laughs) It's too... (he waves his arms in
% disbelief) Actors. Actors.
%
% Fade to...
%
% (9:21 - 9:31)
...a shot of Ginger outside the hut as Gilligan and the Skipper try
to console her.
! Hecuba's line about Ginger's "phony dialect" looses meaning in the
! syndicated version.
~~~~~ ACT III (0:36) 12:54 / 13:30
Hecuba gets out of bed to investigate the music. He puts his feet in
his slippers...
Gilligan: (os) So hear my plea. I beg of thee.
% Hecuba grabs his bathrobe.
%
% Gilligan: (os) And say you see a little hope for me.
%
% Cut back to Gilligan on stage.
%
% Gilligan: To fight or flee, to fight or flee, I ask myself to be or
% not to be.
%
% (13:47 - 13:58)
Cut to a shot of the Howells as Claudius and Gertrude walking onto
the stage.
~~~~~ ACT IV (0:00) 0:37 / 0:37
==[ #70 ]========================================= Gilligan vs. Gilligan ===
CUTS: 82 seconds GAINED: 132 seconds 21:22 / 23:34
! An exception for this episode, the original opening uses the second
! season Professor/left, Mary Ann/right opening but the syndicated
! version uses the standard season three Mary Ann/left, Professor/
! right version.
~~~~~ ACT I (0:03) 1:52 / 1:55
~~~~~ ACT II (1:41) 8:02 / 9:43
Skipper: Gilligan, that's the silliest story you ever made up. You
didn't eat the pie, a guy who looks just like you ate the
pie.
Gilligan: He did. I saw him right across the stream...
% ...there he was, me.
% Professor: Gilligan, did you say you looked across the stream?
% Gilligan: Yeah, on the other side.
% Professor: May I suggest, Gilligan, that your conscience became
% temporarily unable to handle the guilt of your
% misdemeanor so you fantasized an ego-image displacement
% out of your own reflection? May I suggest that?
% Gilligan: You may suggest that, but I won't understand it.
%
% (3:25 - 3:42)
Professor: What you saw was your own reflection in the water.
Gilligan: He wasn't in the water, he was on the other side.
~~
Gilligan: Do I look any different?
Lovey: ...No. But if you're contemplating a change I heartily
approve.
Gilligan: Thank you, Mrs. Howell.
% Lovey: Thank you for what?
% Gilligan: For telling me I look like Gilligan and sound like
% Gilligan.
% Lovey: People say thanks for the strangest things...
%
% (6:51 - 6:58)
...Gilligan. Mr. Howell's clothes and my clothes!
Gilligan: I'm sorry Mrs. Howell, they just fell on the ground.
~~
Howell: Make that two couches. That boy really needs help.
Professor: You say this fellow who looked like you had a shiny gold
pocketknife.
Gilligan: Uh huh. A really big one with all sorts of blades...
% ...My grandfather had one like that. It has all kinds of
% attachments.
% Skipper: Gilligan.
% Gilligan: A screwdriver and a can opener.
% Skipper: Never mind, Gilligan!
% Professor: Perhaps we should investigate this.
% Howell: Before lunch? Not even Perry Mason investigates on an
% empty stomach.
% Skipper: Come on now, Professor. Do you really think someone else
% is on this island?
% Professor: A shiny gold pocketknife?
%
% (8:25 - 8:39)
Cut to a shot of the Gilligan imposter listening in the bushes.
Professor: Even Gilligan wouldn't omit a curious detail like that.
Come on, lets go.
Skipper: (laying down his fishing pole) All right, lets go.
They all leave except Howell. Gilligan stops.
Gilligan: Mr. Howell, aren't you coming?
Howell: Uh, no Gilligan. There are two things I detest. One is
investigating a mystery before lunch.
Gilligan: And the other?
Howell: Any sort of danger. (chuckles) See you later dear boy.
The others walk into the jungle.
The Gilligan imposter folds up his knife and retreats into the
jungle. Fade to...
% ...Gilligan, the Skipper, and the Professor trekking through the
% jungle.
%
% Skipper: Well?
% Gilligan: I went that way.
%
% They start to walk in that direction. Gilligan suddenly stops.
%
% Gilligan: No, I just remembered, I just remembered, I went that
% way... I think.
% Professor: Well, why don't we separate and each take a different
% direction?
% Skipper: Good idea, Professor. Now if anybody sees anything or
% finds anything, just yell.
% Gilligan: Especially somebody who looks like me holding a shiny
% gold pocketknife.
% Skipper: Especially that.
%
% They all go off in different directions. Fade to the Skipper looking
% around the jungle. Cut to the Professor looking around the jungle.
% Cut to...
%
% (9:04 - 9:46)
The syndicated version fades here. The real Gilligan walks though
the jungle alone and discovers the imposter's backpack.
~~~~~ ACT III (0:26) 10:28 / 10:54
~~~~~ ACT IV (0:02) 1:00 / 1:02
% At the start of the act, the establishing shot of Gilligan and the
% Skipper's hut is about two seconds shorter.
%
% (23:39 - 23:41)
==[ #74 ]========================================== Where There's a Will ===
CUTS: 78 seconds GAINED: 130 seconds 21:22 / 23:32
~~~~~ ACT I (0:26) 2:06 / 2:32
! The syndicated version puts the first commercial break between the
! opening credits and the first act with no break between the first
! and second act.
~~
Professor: Ginger, what's his pulse?
Ginger: What's 204 divided by 3 minutes?
Professor: Sixty-eight. Well, his pulse is normal, too.
% Lovey: (entering the hut) Darling, I brought you some hot soup.
% Howell: No, no, no, no.
% Lovey: Oh dear. Is it starve a cold and feed a fever, or feed a
% fever and starve a cold? Oh well, it doesn't matter. Why do
% you get such complicated diseases?
%
% The Skipper enters the hut with an oxygen tank.
%
% Skipper: Professor, I brought some oxygen from the boat.
% Professor: Well, that won't be necessary, Skipper.
% Howell: Professor, you've got to help me. Call a specialist,
% develop a new serum but you gotta save poor little me...
%
% (2:08 - 2:31)
...Oh, that smarts.
Professor: Actually, Mr. Howell, you are suffering from an internal
disorder of the gastro-intestinal tract, which has
manifested itself in contractions of the upper transverse
colon.
! In the syndicated version Lovey and the Skipper seem to pop into the
! hut from out of nowhere.
~~~~~ ACT II (0:22) 8:25 / 8:47
~~~~~ ACT III (1:22) 10:00 / 11:22
Gilligan: They usually fall in the quicksand.
Lovey: Quicksand!
Skipper: We better go get him right now.
Lovey: Get him! Get him!
They all run out of the hut. The syndicated version fades about a
second sooner.
% Fade to a shot of Howell trekking through the jungle. He wipes a
% log with a napkin, sits down, and peels a banana.
%
% Gilligan: (os) Mr. Howell?
% Skipper: (os) Where are you?
% Professor: (os) I think he came this way.
% Howell: Oh, oh, they're getting closer. But they'll never get me.
% Never. Do you hear? Onward!
%
% Cut to a shot of Gilligan, the Skipper, and the Professor looking
% for Howell.
%
% Gilligan: Oh! Boy, is he slippery? Huh?
% Skipper: Oh!
% Professor: I was positive... (the others bump into him) I was
% positive he headed in this direction.
% Skipper: Professor, he must have been here. Look, here's a banana.
% Gilligan: That doesn't mean he was here. An ape probably dropped
% that.
% Skipper: Oh Gilligan, does an ape use a napkin?
% Gilligan: If he's neat.
%
% The Professor notices a broken palm leaf.
%
% Professor: He went this way. Come on.
%
% They follow him.
%
% (18:36 - 19:31)
The syndicated version fades to a shot of Howell trekking onwards.
~~~~~ ACT IV (0:00) 0:51 / 0:51
==[ #69 ]===================================================== Up at Bat ===
CUTS: 81 seconds GAINED: 132 seconds 21:22 / 23:34
~~~~~ ACT I (0:02) 1:13 / 1:15
~~~~~ ACT II (0:48) 9:12 / 10:00
At the start of the act, Gilligan and the Skipper run out of the
jungle to the Professor sitting at a table reading some books.
Gilligan: Hey, Professor! Professor!
Professor: What is it? What is it? What's happened?
Gilligan: It flew right through the air and bit me on the neck. I'm
gonna become a vampire and turn into a bat. I'm gonna fly
through the night and drink blood and talk funny. (as
vampire) "Good evening," and other weird things like
that.
% Skipper: Can you help him, Professor?
% Gilligan: Yeah, please help me, Professor. I wouldn't be a good
% vampire. I faint at the sight of blood. I'll starve to
% death.
% Professor: All right, Gilligan. You just try to calm yourself.
% Skipper, you'd better tell me exactly what happened. Uh,
% something bit Gilligan on the neck?
% Skipper: Exactly. See. It was in a cave and a big vampire bat came
% out and bit him right on the neck there. And now when
% there's a full moon, he's gonna turn into a vampire.
%
% (2:32 - 2:49)
Professor: Nonsense
Gilligan: It's not nonsense.
~~
Ginger: Oh, I know. But I like to get another opinion.
She sprays some perfume on her arm.
% She sprays a few more pumps. Cut to the outside of Ginger and Mary
% Ann's hut. The Skipper and Gilligan approach with the Skipper taking
% Gilligan by the arm.
%
% Skipper: Now look, get in there and let the girls patch you up.
% I'll go get some shovels so we can close up the cave.
% Gilligan: Yeah. We don't want those bats to get out of the cave...
% Skipper: Gilligan, shhh...
%
% (4:02 - 4:11)
...remember now, what the Professor said. Not a word of
this to the girls.
~~~~~ ACT III (1:20) 10:15 / 11:35
Gilligan: Now when I turn into a bat I won't be able to fly out and
bite my friends. All my buddies will be safe. I'll be in
here all alone, forever. Boy, am I unselfish. Boy, am I
noble. Boy am I scared.
He wraps a blanket around himself and cowers up against the wall of
the cave. The syndicated version fades here.
% Cut to the interior of Gilligan and the Skipper's hut. The Skipper
% enters smiling and looking for Gilligan.
%
% Skipper: Gilligan. Gilligan, little buddy, I've got great news for
% you. You're all right. You weren't bitten by a vampire bat.
% You were bitten by a fruit bat. (realizing Gilligan isn't
% there) Gilligan?
%
% He finds a note left in Gilligan's hammock.
%
% Gilligan: (voice over) Dear good pals, I am running away to save
% your lives. Don't try to find me, 'cause if you do, I'll
% just stick my fangs in your neck and that could wreck
% our friendship. Goodbye forever. Your friend, Gilligan,
% the vampire.
%
% Skipper: Oh Gilligan, why did you do a dumb thing like that?
%
% He continues reading the note.
%
% Gilligan: (voice over) PS: This was the only dumb thing I could
% think of doing.
%
% The Skipper calls to the Professor outside the hut. He leaves. The
% screen rotates to the Professor's hut. The other castaways crowd
% around the Professor as he looks at the note.
%
% Professor: This is serious. Gilligan isn't rational in his present
% state.
% Skipper: Yes, of course Professor, but he wouldn't stand a chance
% in the jungle all night.
% Howell: Yeah, we've got to find him before it gets dark.
% Professor: I suggest we organize search parties immediately. All
% right, let's go.
% Howell: Yes. Lovey, I think you and I better go by way of our
% hut.
%
% Fade to...
%
% (14:31 - 15:26)
...a shot of the full moon.
~~~~~ ACT IV (0:02) 0:42 / 0:44
==[ #73 ]======================================================== Voodoo ===
CUTS: 95 seconds GAINED: 132 seconds 21:22 / 23:34
~~~~~ ACT I (0:03) 1:48 / 1:51
~~~~~ ACT II (1:31) 8:14 / 9:45
Gilligan: I'm gonna get the hex outta here!
Gilligan runs out of the hut.
Professor: Skipper, you've got that poor fella scared half to death.
Now believe me there isn't a voodoo witch doctor within
a thousand miles of here.
Fade to...
% ...a shot of the Witch Doctor looking through the window of the
% girls' hut. The shot widens to Ginger and Mary Ann sitting down
% looking at all the jewelry Gilligan gave them.
%
% Mary Ann: I feel like I've been locked all night in a jewelry store.
% Ginger: Imagine, a man giving a girl all this and asking nothing
% in return.
% Mary Ann: That's our Gilligan.
%
% (4:41 - 4:55)
The syndicated version fades here.
Ginger: (gasps) Aww, Isn't this beautiful?
Shot of the Witch Doctor at the window.
Mary Ann: (os) How do I look?
Ginger: Well, let me see.
They both take out mirrors to look at themselves. Ginger stands up
and it seems that both of thier necklaces are connected.
Mary Ann: (gasps) Uh oh!
Ginger: Oh! Oh. We're stuck... Maybe if we stand up?
Mary Ann: Well, don't stand up. Ginger, you'll strangle me.
Ginger: Well, I can't keep standing like that.
Shot of the Witch Doctor at the window. He reaches in and takes some
of the girls' things.
Mary Ann: (os) Oh, sorry.
Ginger: (os) Well, stand on your toes, can't you?
Mary Ann: (os) All right.
Cut to a shot of them struggling more.
% They continue to struggle.
%
% Ginger: It's hopeless. I guess we're just gonna be stuck this way
% forever.
%
% (5:22 - 5:28)
Cut to a shot of the Witch Doctor in the window with Ginger and Mary
Ann voodoo dolls back to back. He separates them.
Cut back to the girls getting their necklaces separated. They're
both relieved. Fade to the Howell hut.
Lovey: Thurston, the strangest thing has happened. I left my
lipstick on this table and it's disappeared. Did you take
it?
Howell: I, do I look like the kind of man who would use lipstick?
(laughs)
Cut to a shot of the Witch Doctor in the clearing. He uses Mrs.
Howell's lipstick as war makeup.
% Cut back to the Howell hut.
%
% Howell: You know speaking of missing articles, my, my, wallet is
% missing.
% Lovey: Oh Darling, I was talking about something important. After
% all, what's in a wallet? Only money.
% Howell: True, my dear, that's so true. (referring to a pin on her
% blouse) Whatever is that? It looks like a hubcap.
% Lovey: Gilligan found this in a cave and gave it to me.
% Howell: Obviously costume jewelry.
% Lovey: Well, obviously. Anything real would come from Fifth Avenue.
%
% There's a knock on the door.
%
% (5:51 - 6:13)
Howell: Come in.
It's the Professor.
Professor: Mrs. Howell, I understand that Gilligan... Oh, I see
you're wearing it.
~~
Howell: I'm a man of supreme courage. No spook would dare tangle
with Thurston Howell III. After you, my dear.
They enter the cave. Cut to the Witch Doctor adding dolls of the
Howells to the line.
% Cut to a shot of Gilligan and the Skipper in the cave digging. Pan
% over to the girls cowering with the Professor. Continue panning over
% to the Howells.
%
% Lovey: (looking at an artifact) What marvelous work these natives
% did, Thurston. They really were way ahead of their time.
% Howell: Yes, but what are they?
% Lovey: Well, obviously, a pair of bookends.
% Howell: Books weren't invented then.
% Lovey: Well, that's what I said, they were way ahead of their time.
%
% Cut to a shot of Gilligan and the Skipper digging.
%
% (10:29 - 10:51)
The syndicated version cut into this shot about a second later.
Skipper: Gilligan, what have you found?
Gilligan: A hungry old man.
~~
Professor: The seeds of fear were planted in your minds and you all
succumbed to the notion that voodoo and witch doctors
really do exist. Now naturally, having read books and
seen motion pictures and television shows you all began
to react to what you had seen.
The castaways squirm as if the ground is hot.
% Cut to a shot of the Witch Doctor gleefully passing a torch under
% the voodoo dolls' feet. He laughs. Cut back to the cave.
%
% Professor: Now an excellent book...
% Gilligan: (interrupting the Professor) Skipper, my feet are getting
% hot.
% Skipper: Yeah, so are mine.
%
% (12:01 - 12:09)
Lovey: Thurston, this is most uncomfortable.
Mary Ann: Not only that, it hurts.
Howell: I'm getting out of here.
Lovey: So am I.
Ginger: Women and children first.
They all run out of the cave and fight to be to first one out. Cut
to the outside of the cave. They continue to run.
% Cut back to the Witch Doctor gleefully passing a torch under the
% voodoo dolls' feet. Cut to a wide shot of the lagoon beach. The
% castaways run towards the water. Cut to a closer shot of the
% castaways.
%
% (12:27 - 12:33)
The syndicated version cuts into this shot. They all run into the
lagoon to cool off thier feet.
~~~~~ ACT III (0:38) 10:40 / 11:18
% The establishing shot of the palm trees at the start of the act
% starts about a second later.
%
% (12:43 - 12:44)
~~
Gilligan: You notice anything different about the Professor?
Skipper: There's nothing different about the Professor. He's just
as stubborn as he ever was...
Cut to the Professor frozen.
% Gilligan: I didn't know he could sleep standing up.
% Skipper: He's not sleeping.
% Gilligan: Oh, yeah, his eyes are open.
%
% The Skipper attempts to revive the Professor by snapping his
% fingers.
%
% Skipper: Professor... Professor.
% Gilligan: Maybe I should get an alarm clock or go
% "cock-a-doodle-do."
%
% (14:09 - 14:25)
Skipper: He's not sleeping. He's been tuned into a zombie.
~~~~~ ACT IV (0:00) 0:40 / 0:40
==[ #75 ]================================================ Man With a Net ===
CUTS: 74 seconds GAINED: 128 seconds 21:23 / 23:31
~~~~~ ACT I (0:00) 0:41 / 0:41
! Like with episode 72, there is a tiny bit of compression accounting
! for less than a second begining with the shot of the butterfly on
! Gilligan's hat.
~~~~~ ACT II (1:45) 10:25 / 12:10
The girls find Lord Beasley hanging from a branch on the underside
of the cliff.
Beasley: Hurry! Hurry! He went that way!!
The screen rotates...
% ...to the hut area. The castaways sit around with their feet in
% buckets of water.
%
% Skipper: How are your feet Gilligan?
% Gilligan: I don't know, Skipper. My feet and I aren't on speaking
% terms.
% Professor: Well, we've been over almost every inch of this island
% and we're not even sure that Lord Beasley has even seen a
% Pussycat Swallowtail yet!
% Howell: Well, where else can he find to look?
%
% Just then, Lord Beasley walks past them, wearing a scuba suit and
% carrying a butterfly net.
%
% Howell: Good Heavens!
% Ginger: Looking for a butterfly under the water?
% Howell: That's what I call a determined man.
% Skipper: That's what I call a determined nut.
%
% (6:24 - 6:55)
In the syndicated version the screen rotates to a shot of Ginger and
the Howells sitting on a lounge chair.
Lovey: There must be some way to make that man forget his silly
butterfly and get us off this island now.
! Lord Beasley can be briefly seen in the scuba suit after this cut
! loosing context in the syndicated version.
~~
Lovey: Well you know darling, there's only one honest way to
influence anybody.
Howell: You're right. (laughs) Bribery.
The screen rotates...
% ...to the supply hut. Lord Beasley sits in front of a handmade map
% of the island while he ponders his next location for search. Howell
% enters the hut.
%
% Beasley: Lets see, yesterday we looked here and here.
%
% Lord Beasley sticks pins in the map indicating locations already
% searched. He is oblivious to Howell's entry.
%
% Howell: Ah, good evening Lord Beasley may I come in?
%
% Lord Beasley does not acknowledge Howell's presence.
%
% Beasley: And the day before we looked here.
%
% He adds another pin.
%
% Howell: Oh, thank you very much. May I say that you look like a
% million dollars. Would you like to try for two million?
%
% Lord Beasley doesn't respond to Howell.
%
% Beasley: And we've also looked here.
% Howell: Lord Beasley I'm a very wealthy man and to get me off this
% island I'd happily pay you one hundred thousand dollars.
%
% Lord Beasley does not respond.
%
% Beasley: Now we've looked by the cove.
% Howell: Happily, two hundred thousand.
%
% Again no response.
%
% Beasley: Also yes, yes by the bat cave.
% Howell: Unhappily, three hundred thousand dollars.
%
% Still no response from Lord Beasley.
%
% Beasley: I believe I looked there, yes I did.
% Howell: Lord Beasley will you at least give me the courtesy of
% listening when I'm trying to bribe you.
% Beasley: Now the question is, where shall I look again. (noticing
% something on the map) Aaaaah!.
% Howell: Please listen to me!
%
% Mr. Howell stands between the map and Lord Beasley in order to get
% his attention.
%
% Beasley: The center of he island.
%
% Lord Beasley tries to stick a pin in the map, but sticks Howell
% instead. Lord Beasley walks out of the hut.
%
% Howell: Heavens I've had an appendectomy!
%
% The screen rotates...
%
% (8:04 - 8:47)
...to Lord Beasley at the map again. It's now Ginger's turn.
! It's odd that the scene of the Howells discussing the plan to bribe
! Lord Beasley beforehand is left intact yet the scene of Mr. Howell
! implementing the plan is cut. Howell also refers to this cut scene
! later at the picnic table.
~~~~~ ACT III (0:20) 8:02 / 8:22
~~~~~ ACT IV (0:03) 2:15 / 2:18
==[ #76 ]===================================== Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow ===
CUTS: 79 seconds GAINED: 130 seconds 21:21 / 23:31
~~~~~ ACT I (0:10) 2:01 / 2:11
At the start of the episode, the opening credits roll over a shot of
Gilligan and the Skipper's hut.
% Cut to a shot of the door from the outside. The Skipper walks out
% and calls for Gilligan. Cut to a shot of Gilligan at the lagoon
% putting laundry in a sack.
%
% (1:16 - 1:23)
The syndicated version cuts into this shot. The Skipper calls for
Gilligan off screen.
~~~~~ ACT II (1:35) 8:32 / 10:07
Mary Ann lifts up Gilligan's hat.
Mary Ann: White hair.
She screams, faints, and Gilligan catches her. Ginger walks into the
scene.
Ginger: Gilligan?
Gilligan: Mary Ann.
Ginger sees Gilligan's white hair, screams, faints, and also lands
in Gilligan's arms.
Gilligan: Professor! Oh...
The screen rotates...
% ...to the Professor's hut.
%
% Skipper: Tell me the truth, Professor. I can take it now. What's
% wrong with my little buddy?
% Professor: Well, I was telling you the truth before. Now...
% Skipper: But the truth, the real truth.
% Professor: But I told you the real truth.
% Skipper: No-holds-barred. The truth, the whole truth, and nothing
% but the truth. Now, blurt it out.
%
% (4:52 - 5:06)
In the syndicated version the screen rotates here.
Professor: He's suffering from follicular albinism.
~~
Mary Ann: Don't you feel anything surging in your blood?
Gilligan: Oh, I do. I do. I think my arteries are hardening.
Gilligan's face shakes. Mary Ann lifts her head up. In the
syndicated version the screen rotates here.
% Mary Ann looks at Gilligan. Fade to the picnic table with Lovey and
% the Professor seated. The Professor looks through a book. The
% Skipper walks towards them.
%
% Skipper: The Gabor sisters struck out.
% Lovey: What a shame. Gilligan is just too young to be old.
% Skipper: Can't you think of anything, Professor?
% Professor: I'm sorry, Skipper. I...
% Lovey: I thought of something. Of all people.
% Professor: Well, what is it, Mrs. Howell?
% Lovey: Well, some women when their hair turns gray, dye it
% another color.
% Professor: Why, I think, I think you've got something there.
% Lovey: Naturally, I've never have to dye my hair. But the women
% who do feel much younger.
% Skipper: It might work, that is if he doesn't know about it.
% Professor: I can get the ingredients from vegetable coloring for a
% good brown hair dye.
% Skipper: Great. Now, we'll wait until later tonight when
% Gilligan's asleep. Then Mrs. Howell can apply it to his
% hair.
% Professor: When he wakes up in the morning with brown hair, he'll
% feel like a new man.
% Lovey: A new young man.
% Skipper: Oh, I sure hope so. 'Cause if he says to me once more:
% "Look both ways before you cross the street, sonny,"
% I'll...
%
% He goes to hit the Professor with his hat. The Professor cowers and
% the Skipper stops.
%
% Skipper: Pardon me, Professor, but it does kind of get me right
% there. (pounds on his heart)
%
% The screen rotates...
%
% (10:34 - 11:32)
...to a shot of Gilligan and the Skipper in their hammocks.
~~~~~ ACT III (0:25) 10:14 / 10:39
~~~~~ ACT IV (0:00) 0:34 / 0:34
==[ #71 ]==================================== Pass the Vegetables Please ===
CUTS: 97 seconds GAINED: 131 seconds 21:21 / 23:32
~~~~~ ACT I (0:30) 1:49 / 2:19
Gilligan: Skipper, I got a bite, a real big one, Skipper.
Skipper: So do I. Mine must weigh fifty pounds. Watch it, little
buddy...
% ...You're fouling my line.
%
% They continue fishing, stumbling over each other.
%
% Skipper: Gilligan, you're fouling my line. Now get it lose. Watch my
% line, little buddy, you're getting it all fouled up.
%
% They struggle more.
%
% Skipper: Gilligan...
%
% (1:40 - 1:53)
Cut to a shot of Gilligan and the Skipper from the front.
Skipper: ...you're fouling my line, now get it loose. (they struggle
more) Get it loose.
The Skipper steps in a bucket of water. He stumbles around with the
bucket and sits on a rock.
Skipper: Gilligan.
The Skipper looses his grip on the fishing pole and it's dragged
into the lagoon.
Skipper: Gilligan, get my line.
Gilligan retrieves the pole for him.
Skipper: Get my foot out of this bucket. Pull.
Gilligan pulls the bucket off the Skipper's foot and his shoe comes
off. He hands Gilligan his fishing pole.
Skipper: Whose side are you on? The fish's? Now just get it
yourself.
The Skipper starts to walk away.
% He realizes he doesn't have his shoe.
% Skipper: Gilligan, will you hand me that shoe?
%
% Gilligan tosses him the whole pail with the shoe in it. Water spills
% out. The Skipper angrily takes out the shoe and tosses the pail.
% He storms away. Cut to a shot of Gilligan with the fishing pole. He
% looks perplexed.
%
% (2:26 - 2:41)
Cut to a shot of a crate in the lagoon as Gilligan reels it in.
~~~~~ ACT II (1:25) 8:40 / 10:05
Lovey: But sugar beets come in cans.
Cut to a shot of Howell looking mildly annoyed.
Gilligan: (os) No, no. First you have to plant them in the ground.
% Cut to a shot of Gilligan and Lovey.
%
% Lovey: Oh please, don't be silly. I've seen them in their natural
% habitat, a supermarket.
% Howell: Not shopping you understand, just sightseeing.
% Lovey: Actually, I was showing some visiting royalty a poverty
% pocket.
% Gilligan: Mrs. Howell, sugar beets have to come out of the ground
% before you can put them in cans.
% Lovey: What a perfectly ghastly idea.
% Gilligan: Well, you'll see when we plant them all in the ground.
% Howell: I hope you're using the editorial "we."
% Lovey: Thurston means you can't expect a Howell to dig in the
% ground.
%
% (4:31 - 4:54)
Gilligan: But you have to dig before you plant.
Howell: If you mention manual labor once more, I'm going to order
you off the property.
Lovey: Now you see, Gilligan, your silly notions have upset Mr.
Howell.
Gilligan: Mrs. Howell, if you really want sugar beets...
Lovey: Well, I do. I do. I just adore them.
Gilligan: Well, we all have to pitch in, then.
Lovey: Oh, well, I intend to do my part, I assure you.
Gilligan: Good. Dig, plant, water, fertilize, or pick? Which would
you rather do?
Lovey: Eat.
The syndicated version fades here...
% Annoyed, Gilligan takes the crate of seeds away as the Howells
% snatch individual boxes out of it. Fade to Mary Ann going through
% the crate as laundry is left out to dry. Gilligan approaches. Mary
% Ann reads off the boxes in the crate.
%
% Mary Ann: Beets, squash, lettuce.
% Gilligan: My favorite is spinach.
% Mary Ann: My favorite doesn't seem to be here. Well, spinach,
% cucumber. Truffles?
% Gilligan: Don't you know what a truffle is?
% Mary Ann: No. We never grew any in Kansas.
% Gilligan: A truffle is a subterranean tube that runs into a
% (stammering) fungus.
%
% They both look confused.
%
% Gilligan: That runs into a fungus?
% Mary Ann: What?!
% Gilligan: I wish the Professor would learn to speak English.
%
% Mary Ann continues looking in the crate.
%
% Mary Ann: Radishes, Swiss chard, carrots!
% Gilligan: You like carrots?
% Mary Ann: Oh, like them? I love 'em. Oh Gilligan, they're awfully
% good for you. Why the more you eat, the better your
% eyesight.
% Gilligan: Everybody knows that carrots are good for your eyes.
% Mary Ann: Why, certainly.
% Gilligan: After all, did you ever see a rabbit wearing glasses?
%
% He chuckles. Mary Ann looks amused. Gilligan walks away and Mary Ann
% continues looking through the crate. Fade...
%
% (5:15 - 6:01)
...to Gilligan and the Skipper plowing.
~~~~~ ACT III (0:16) 10:06 / 10:22
~~~~~ ACT IV (0:00) 0:46 / 0:46
To make room for more commercials !!!
Yep!!!