what saddens me is that it seems brittany replaced conor and was harboring a lot of guilt so there's a sense of relief that now he has someone else, but i think the energy between you guys has shifted a lot and has become more of a friendship, which i think is fine but also just directly addressing it and being blunt about we are no longer a romantic partnership rather than all of the philosophical phrasing of everything might help/having just a direct conversation. acknowledging the change might make everyone feel a little more at ease because the way you guys talk is just like long winded twists and turns of philosophical phrase that just feels repetitive/saying so much but not saying anything at the same time? idk sometimes i'm like girl just spit it outttttt hahaha all love but i just think maybe changing the style of communication might help the adjustment
Yes I feel this too. Being in a monogamous relationship myself, the romantic in me always watched Brit and Conor when they were ‘together’ and made me wish that they would just choose each other as their only forever loves in all things! Rose colour spectacles 😃 The way they are feels different now obviously but still very loving but in a friendship kind of way. It’s all fine and I admire their dedication to their friendship themselves as individuals and in their business and of course, most importantly of all, co-parenting their son, who must be their primary consideration. Their channel/business is after all essentially all about self growth/awareness in all things, relationship and with other people. We could all benefit from learning about true love of humankind so we can all be kinder more accepting people who respect one another’s personal needs as individuals which I know I don’t have with my husband, because we’re are too much about ‘us’. This interests me a lot and it’s caused me to question my life. Best of luck to them all! 🥰🙅♀️🙅♀️
I feel sometimes from my perspective that sometimes the way you deal with your feelings is a bit "gaslighty" for your own feelings. When Conner moved out he did not seem happy. I felt Brittany was breaking the commitment and loyalty to him by moving in with a newer partner instead of him. Attachment and prioritisation are organic and human, part of our primal wiring, I believe we also need to honour that. A lot of poly fears are about being replaced. My view on NM is that my partners carve their place in my life. This loyalty means I'm not going to "flakey replace them" We make these commitments to each other if it's a regular and committed connection. Relationships change and evolve of course but from my view, Conner didn't fully consent to be replaced as a nesting partner, his face was not a yes! I find the focus on NH NM can be problematic as an attachment to actually an avoident ideology. there is nothing wrong with attachment, nothing wrong with jealousy, not all jealousy is "insecurity" its also primal and needs to be respected! Brittany is relieved Conner is taken care of by someone else as she is not fulfilling his needs because Britony has essentially replaced him, sorry about the directness. Personally, I hate being in the middle of two main partners it's like a tug of war...
I totally agree. I am also surprised that Brittany refers to the attachment as "just fears". It is much more than that. I wouldn't expect that statement from a relationship coach. I also don't understand why they view jealousy so negatively. I think we should nurture all emotions and appreciate them. Yes, jealousy is unhealthy when it causes damaging, violent behavior, but it can also be beneficial when we feel it in certain situations and if we can control it - it provides us with clues to what we desire and can empower us to achieve what we want. I definitely would never want to fully eradicate it from my life. It is so natural and primal, so I will never understand why poly people fear it so much and put such a negative label on it. It’s like suppressing your natural sexual desires - everyone can technically do it, but it will do you harm in the long run. Also, even if they label the changes happening in their relationship as a ‘'shift’’, most people will always see it as polyamory gone wrong - ofc, they have the right to label it as they want, but for most people, choosing one person over another (Brittany choosing to live with a Bridgette instead with Conor) means breaking up with one of them on an emotional level (even if they continue staying in a relationship). That is the point/beauty of a relationship for most people (regardless of being monogamous/polyamorous) - choosing a specific person over another and not just any person. + The fact that they still live close to each other and spend time together doesn’t automatically mean that their relationship is as deep as it was - again, everyone has different standards of what “deep” means, but I know so many people who broke up and still co-parent together, cuddle, spend time together, etc. - even if they are monogamous. It seems more like devoted friends than devoted partners to me, but that's just what I get from this video. The fact that Conor wanted to fill the void as soon as he moved out speaks volumes - he was not ready for it/didn’t want it. It feels to me that he just accepted it under the illusion that he is responsible for everything that he feels (without considering that he is a social being, influenced by other people's behavior without control over it) and that he just needs to work harder on himself not feeling those emotions anymore. It probably worked over time, but IMO that’s not how our brains are wired to process grief/break-ups, etc. People don't need to suppress their feelings to be open-minded - which I think many poly people fear - to be judged as "not enough open-minded and not in control of their emotions enough".
I also noticed that Conor was not a hell yes to living with Brigette and I would love to hear more honest reflections of this whole transition when C+B+B are able to share. I think I would be really healing for everyone involved to really unpack the honest truth of the feelings, just like you said. for me there is still a lot of grief that Conor moved out, and I also think the video where they first shared that news has been taken down. Again, it's a choice everyone made and they've moved on but I agree with a lot of what you are saying here.
@@juliamissgoolia2030 of course we can only speculate. NM is hard and I think this unpacking could be beneficial for the viewers. I mean in the end, they could say yes it was super hard but worked for the best... we don't know but something feels off to me.
Hey guys! I don't want to be making assumptions about your relationship like others have, but I do notice a big change. You guys don't listen to eachother as well as you used too with those same loving non- judgemental expressions and often interrupt eachother. Moreover, I see a strong unspoken feeling of tension, hurt and unease between you. Something looks strained in your communication. I believe you have a lot of love for eachother and admire your commitment to keep trying to work through stuff, I just hope the battle is now worth the rewards. You must feel the extra pressure as relationship coaches, believing you have to set a certain example for others and I can't imagine what that brings for you both. Also, although I think Brittany has good intentions, I feel maybe she is overstepping a line a little getting too involved with Connors new partner? When it seemed like Connor really stepped back when Brittany met Bridget. Anyway, this is just the opinion of a stranger on the Internet.
I love the celebration of the evolution of your partnership. You two have paid attention to what you need in each moment, and adapted as the needs have changed instead of stayed in the place where you met. That takes so much letting go and observing/ allowing all changes to be ok. It’s beautiful to witness and an inspiration!
That is it, isn't it? Being authentic with oneself is where it starts in creating an authentic, lasting relationship. It's so good to see you again. I'm thinking Illiah is pretty grown now. I'd love to see him again if you're willing. You both feel so sweet and gentle and accepting. Beautiful!
I love how you authentically show up for each other and allow your relationship to morph as best fits your souls journey both together and as individuals 💜
Just validating: yes, I believe you two don't owe and aren't required to share anything at all with the public. It's a very personal gift you can choose to give if and when you want. Sometimes with social media it's like the audience gets entitled or demanding (or just very curious) about wanting the content creator to "share more" which is not okay to me. It's emotional intimacy so consent and your boundaries matter. I love that Connor modeled being in a true yes, no, or maybe about it. Also I'm very glad you all share cause I find it fascinating! It's like your relationship is a big social paradigm shift radical psychological experiment or something which my psychology and relating parts find so interesting. Especially cause I've had limited access to hearing in-depth about anyone's poly relationship. And wasn't always drawn to, resonant with, some versions of that I've seen. There's such an honoring, supportive energy between you two of each other and yourselves. That separating actually sounds so healthy to me cause there are pros and cons to the initial merging (at its extreme people can lose themselves - I experienced that once and it was so destabilizing I needed to be single for years after that).
Totally resonated with what you said about a level of maturity. My husband and I are at 14 years and it feels so good. The healing has been profound and like Brittany said, the chaotic energy is no longer there.
I have learnt so much about relationships since following you guys from the beginning and even though I’m not or may never be in a poly dynamic the knowledge it brings I feel is so transferable to all types of relationships. It has helped me heal in so many ways and have love for my ex partner and learning to be happy for his new relationships that I never knew could because possible for me, so thank you!
Love the mindfulnes of this partnership now. I recall the NRE at the start, and the many changes that have happened since. I like that you are now both prioritizing what serves you the best. It's interesting how you're both falling in love with different versions of each other and your relationship. Interesting the discorse around everything in the comments section being 50/50 positive to the new changes, I guess from my own experience of poly this seems like the best and most natural way forward
Love watching you 2 💚🌱 thank you for the gift of sharing 💋 Brittany your natural beauty is absolutely glamorous! I just have to note I love your side profile, such beautiful cheekbones and features and your smile is dazzling. 💚🌱 Connor your haircut and beard look so chic on you and so sophisticated. You are gorgeous 🌱💚
I love my husband’s girlfriend. She’s beautiful on the inside and out. She and I became fast friends and we hangout together on a regular basis. I’m so happy she’s in my and my husband’s life ❤
Have been following you both for 5 or more years now. Poly isn't for me but I follow and have changed my way of communication with partners and creating space its a beautiful thing. But I also just selfishly hope you both make another beautiful being Iliya (sp?) Is the best!
There is a sad shadow over this relationship now. In the past I watched their story like a soap opera. They were such a cute couple with the gymnastics and living in the van. It started to split when Brittany brought in the woman. He moved out. I don't blame him.
Polyamory isn’t for me, but you two have inspired me to be more authentic and live in alignment to myself. I specifically love the language you both use - it seems so intentional and purposeful, and I absolutely love it. I strive to walk through life with a similar perspective 🤍 All the best to you guys! And just as a question for engagement - do you guys still have hopes/plans to grow your family and try for another baby?
@@cyrusthegreat3299 As much of a joke as your reply is to a stranger on a 3 month old comment about something you obviously have a ton of jealousy about? 😂
@@synnocide My comment was serious but clowns like u who would follow anyone who's a little famous and do any dumb thing they see online, can never see the truth of it.
It's so good to see how y'all have grown! Where you are now isn't where you were when Conor moved-and that's great! 2 years would be a long time to stay stagnant. It's easy from the outside for people to make assumptions about what is going on or where you're at emotionally, but I truly believe what you have is beautiful. Love is so fluid and ever-changing and expanding and that's what makes it so fulfilling. Next time we're in Austin (we live a few hours north), I hope we run into you! The energy you both give off is so vibrant and playful and I would love to get to meet y'all. Glad to see you doing well :)
Ok, I lied. 😂 I’m clearly commenting as I watch. Connor, thank you for sharing about your new partner and the boundaries you set for yourself around sharing. I’m excited for you. ❤
This doesn’t feel like a happy healthy relationship despite the presentation. They’ve created a brand & income contingent on their relationship. They’re no longer a nuclear unit, but keep saying “it’s fine, we’re fine, it’s great” meanwhile crying in a dark corner (figuratively speaking).
Their evolution is beautiful. Their exploration of the nuances and how they’ve authentically looked at those spaces together is truly inspiring. This from someone who has been married for 30 years. 😊
Heck yea guys. Love watching your journey over the past few years. I'm training to become a therapist and so excited to work with polyamourous people, thanks to you! You guys are crushing it.
That might be random but i would love you to share what Illya eats. Toddlers can be picky eaters and i would like to learn from you, how you nevigate this. Much Love
I just have to say….I miss the way Brittany used to look at Connor with such lust in her eyes as if she was genuinely connected to him soul to soul. I also miss the way the Conner fawned over Brittany and I feel as though that part of them is missing. Maybe people would call it settling in however I think they should consider taking “themselves” back to the dating stage and start actually dating each other again and relearn the new person and fall in love with the new person each of them has become and integrate all partners.
I recognized this feeling in myself when I was watching. then I remembered when I first started embracing this idea, there was a shift in how I looked at things and it took a minute. I think that’s what’s happening here and it’s a challenge to us to consider that it’s OK to move past that point and support each other with us authenticity,love, romance and kindness as we figure it out. so I’m choosing to examine why that would be important to me that they still interact in a way that makes me feel more comfortable based on our culture.
@@lizh5396 I don't think anyone said that they should interact in a way or another. I think what the OP means is that they miss that energy level between them, of a deep love connection. And the belief that this same energy can come back in human relationships again and again even between the same persons. If they want.
It's usually what happens after you have kids. The spark gets sucked out of you bc you get so consumed. Plus their business they have together ? It's a lot.
I'm so glad I found you two. I've been a follower for years and have always felt very safe watching your videos. Me and my partner have been together for 14 years now, and we were always seen as the "strange couple" because we didn't live together, for 10 years we went through periods of either seeing each other every weekend or every other weekend. We felt a lot of pressure and judgement from society in general that this was wrong, that out relationship was "in trouble" and got asked a lot of questions as to why we weren't living together yet. But it just felt right for both of us. I like that I found you because it was very nice at the time knowing that there are other people out there who didnt live "normally". I love how your relationship is with each other. And I like that in my relationship (and it seems yours too) that we live life together side by side, not as two halves of a whole. It's beautiful, you are beautiful ❤️ thank you for everything ❤️❤️
I’ve been with my partner for 17 years in one way or another, we have lived together and now don’t, may do again. Thanks for your comment, nice to know we’re less weird than it sometimes feels
The quiet pain I feel watching this video reminds me of the feeling when I’ve been in the end of a relationship, knowing it’s about to dissolve. The wind has changed, things have happened, separation has begun- words have just not yet been spoken. Trying to hang of for dear life, pretending it’s all fine. Yet nothing is fine and never will be, not like it once was. Other things and people seems more enticing yet the memories and nostalgia keeps tugging at the heart. Oh man, that feeling. It’s awful. But that is all me, ofcourse, projecting and seeing things from my non poly mindset 💕.
Im exhausted after watching this, twice. I call BS. Brit played Conor with Bridget. Conor found another partner, is healing, is at peace. Be co-parents, not partners in lovers or business. Then you, Conor, will be whole again.
Conor: “I have a new significant partner and…I feel like that’s mine. Brittany: “You mean like…that knowledge is yours…” Me: “No he’s means that ass is MINE!!” 😝😝😝😍😍😍
It's so refreshing to observe two people communicating and really being there for each other through transition. This is what love and compassion looks like!
How blind and foolish and also selfish should u be to think that this is a good/healthy relationship. Can't u see the pain the guy's eyes? Why would anyone be partnered with someone as selfish and emotionally dead as y'all?
I appreciate you talking about flexibility as a whole, not just in a relationship. I'm going through one of my toughest times so far... My Mother was diagnosed with Dementia during Covid (end of June 2020), and things are progressing more now, and it's very hard for me... I'm not ready to lose my Mom yet. I'm only 41, and I already lost my Father at 20 from a sudden heart attack, and I just want to be able to have more time with my Mom... she's truly my best friend. I've been caring for her for the past 2 years and more so in the past 7 weeks (living with her for the most part, eventhough I have my own home 5 minutes away that I own), and it's VERY hard. Watching somebody you love, lose their mind, and memory is one of the toughest things to go through. I'm trying to be more flexible with my own feelings and let myself know that it's okay to feel sad and even broken at times, but it's hard. I know that what I'm sharing isn't about a "partnership" but still a relationship with a loved one, I just wanted to let you both know that I appreciated you discussing flexibility, and was able to connect that with my own life (eventhough I'm single right now and not dating since my last relationship ended 2/1/21), and the "flexibility" likely involves just giving myself more grace. I'm sorry for such a long comment... Take Care Everybody! ❤️
I really appreciate your willingness to step outside of societal norms and live authentically! I am sure it's not easy, especially while being perceived by thousands on the internet. I think it's wonderful that you've been able to keep more of your personal lives to yourselves. Thanks for the update, I am always rooting for you!
I feel like people have so many questions because the intimacy seems to be lacking recently, basically since Connor moved. It appears in the public eye that Brittany and Bridget are super close and intimate, while you two have become less close physically.
I think you just dont understand how unhealthy polyamory by default is - i think you never; especially in this fanbase here that makes you ignore all this; think why Monogamy isnt just prevelant but specifically: replaced polyamory cause its just more advanced and good for Humans.
I don't think it's impossible to feel NRA in a long term relationship, nor that it is per definition unhealthy. Me and my husband (living apart together) definitely have these phases even though we have been together longer than you.
You guys, I’m bummed! I wanted the tea! Lol Relationships are tough sometimes to navigate. I’m glad you guys have come to a space where you both are comfortable talking about it…keep doing what you guys are doing! Cheers
You all are incredible. I am so inspired by your authenticity in every moment, throughout all the different seasons of your relationship with each other and yourselves. Just amazing. Thank you 🙏💚✨
Do you both still go on dates? How has your sex life evolved? What really went on behind the scenes with Brigette that caused the learning you speak of generally? Would love more days in the life videos like you used to do
I felt a somber energy in this video. I was really curious to hear an update after your hiatus. I was worried you two were struggling. The dynamic between you two has really shifted since Bridgette came into the picture, I wonder if you two will ever go back to monogamy... as it might be challenging for Ilya to grow up in this split household situation. Wish you two the best and interested to see what the future is of this channel.
Monogamous? Um I don't think that was ever even a conversation from what they have shared.. I think a split home with two loving parents who not only love and put their child first but also love one another is about as good as it gets for a child 💗
I work with children and families, educated on children's psychology and family dynamics, I do NOT think this is an unhealthy household situation for a child. Ilya seems well loved by all three parents who make an effort to spend time with them daily. There seems to be a lot of consistency and plenty of love and support
I've never witnessed relationship dynamics like this and I think it's really cool what you guys are doing. Seems like you two are good about keeping things from becoming static. Which is exactly what I've struggled with in the past. I have a hard time with not being apathetic or bored with my partner after being together for a long time. You guys take what is offered by our culture and you rearrange it and flip it upside down. It's amazing and beautiful. Love your videos. 😊
I love how you honor yourselves and love sharing that with each other. As a person healing codependency habits, I asked a brilliant therapist what the definition of a healthy relationship is or what one might entail.. she turned around and asked me the same question. I had some ideas or qualities come to mind, and you two arose in my mind as a refreshing example of that which has allowed me to envision what healthy connections could look like for myself and others. I think your confident yet humble, open honesty is the most beautiful thing about what you choose to share with the world. Thank you for sharing your hope, even perhaps as you create your own.
So happy to see an update and respect what you want to share and what you don't. I do find myself curious... I'd love to know your enneagram types. 😆 Especially during that part talking about your energies being a bit different.
I love you both and your work in the world too. Been watching you since 2015, drawn to you since then and really enjoy watching, it feels so right to me. I think you might be my favourite couple, period. And I have others I love but I think you're the ones I admire the most! I can feel you're both more grounded in the situation too, it must have been such hard work. More power to you.
Also you may be the first couple that made me realise I'm non monogamous and make that choice in my relationship setup as something I wanted in the future (which I'm practicing now in dating)
I definitely feel the grounded energy from both of you. You both look REALLY well. I love it! I also love what you said Connor about being selective on what you share. I have been feeling that really strongly too in my life on being really in tune with what I share with whom.
Lol, so you want the freedom of being with others and be able to get what others can offer you but still wanna keep the comfortable of being together and those benefits too. Sad day when one of you wake up one day and figured out that you've moved on, while the other person has not.
Hey Conor & Brittany. Thank you so much for sharing this update with us. I’ve been following you for a few years now, maybe about 2 years before Ilya entered the world (maybe even longer), but I wanted to mention that it has been pleasant watching you guys go through these different transitions together. Although your relationship isn’t traditional, which may be the root of some of these negative comments, your connection between one another is truly inspiring. People evolve constantly and for you both to allow us to experience your lives WITH YOU has been wonderful. Thank you for being here to share your story with us.
I don't like the fact that a lot of people are blaming Brittany. Yes, Brittany is choosing to live with Bridgette instead of with Conor. But then, we need to ask ourselves why she made that decision. I can clearly see that Conor had a lot of his focus on other women, while Bridgette seems like she genuinely wanted to have quality time with Brittany. I don't believe in successful polyamorous relationships. However I hope that Brittany and Conor prioritize their child, then it's all good.
Every Relationship Type Friend, Fam, Lover, Self Is A Dynamic Adventure, and not One Bit Can Ever Be Duplicated♡ Much Respect Uniquely Beautiful Creatures.
Dear Brittany & Connor, I'm not into polyamory, but jumped on to your channel 6ish years ago when it seemed "trendy" and kept watching on and off. I must say - what keeps me coming back is not only your topic of polyamory but the way in which you reflect on your relationship - In front of this huge online audience. That really deserves respect and is very admirable. Espiacially since relationships are often the playground for our deepest shadows / behavioral flaws to surface, which you also talk about. To be that open and reflect upon the good and the bad means to openly accept ambivalence, flaws etc. I think that's a very healthy and "real" way to produce content, which not a lot of creators adopt on youtube I guess. I also loved when you said that you only shared what you felt 100 % exited and sure about. In the end it’s important to establish boundaries - even with you youtube community. Hugs from across the pond xoxo😊
can you explain more, in what ways you didn't flow for examples and being together in a relationship. can you explain more on wanting a partner to be different, you talked about it some in your video and how to work through it. Also, what helped you do self shadow work? like any books. thanks
You two are so generous with your time to create such a space like this. Thank you for all that you share with your thoughts and perspectives. Thank you!! Looking forward to the workshop! Thank you Conor and Brittany for being YOU!
I never went to loose that focus on myself ever again. I did once and it was the darkest time of my life. I truly feel that includes living alone. This gives me comfort as I personally don’t do well living with someone. I hope I can find someone someday who respects those boundaries. ❤
What do you call the kind of communication Brittany and Conor have with each other? Is it a certain philosophy or method? I've noticed it's an open form of communicating without minimal judgment. It feels very raw and honest
I love when you decide to share these things but I also understand all your ventures and what brings you joy. I receive your gift today and thank you. I support you both so much. 🙏
This conversation was so insightful for me 💕 I started watching you guys back when I was around 19 and I’m 26 now 😭 love that Conor and Brit have such amazing partners now as well
what saddens me is that it seems brittany replaced conor and was harboring a lot of guilt so there's a sense of relief that now he has someone else, but i think the energy between you guys has shifted a lot and has become more of a friendship, which i think is fine but also just directly addressing it and being blunt about we are no longer a romantic partnership rather than all of the philosophical phrasing of everything might help/having just a direct conversation. acknowledging the change might make everyone feel a little more at ease because the way you guys talk is just like long winded twists and turns of philosophical phrase that just feels repetitive/saying so much but not saying anything at the same time? idk sometimes i'm like girl just spit it outttttt hahaha all love but i just think maybe changing the style of communication might help the adjustment
haha yes we’ll said I completely agree
Totally agree and want this too
The energy is completely different.
Agreed
Yes I feel this too. Being in a monogamous relationship myself, the romantic in me always watched Brit and Conor when they were ‘together’ and made me wish that they would just choose each other as their only forever loves in all things! Rose colour spectacles 😃
The way they are feels different now obviously but still very loving but in a friendship kind of way. It’s all fine and I admire their dedication to their friendship themselves as individuals and in their business and of course, most importantly of all, co-parenting their son, who must be their primary consideration.
Their channel/business is after all essentially all about self growth/awareness in all things, relationship and with other people.
We could all benefit from learning about true love of humankind so we can all be kinder more accepting people who respect one another’s personal needs as individuals which I know I don’t have with my husband, because we’re are too much about ‘us’. This interests me a lot and it’s caused me to question my life.
Best of luck to them all! 🥰🙅♀️🙅♀️
I feel sometimes from my perspective that sometimes the way you deal with your feelings is a bit "gaslighty" for your own feelings. When Conner moved out he did not seem happy. I felt Brittany was breaking the commitment and loyalty to him by moving in with a newer partner instead of him. Attachment and prioritisation are organic and human, part of our primal wiring, I believe we also need to honour that. A lot of poly fears are about being replaced. My view on NM is that my partners carve their place in my life. This loyalty means I'm not going to "flakey replace them" We make these commitments to each other if it's a regular and committed connection. Relationships change and evolve of course but from my view, Conner didn't fully consent to be replaced as a nesting partner, his face was not a yes! I find the focus on NH NM can be problematic as an attachment to actually an avoident ideology. there is nothing wrong with attachment, nothing wrong with jealousy, not all jealousy is "insecurity" its also primal and needs to be respected! Brittany is relieved Conner is taken care of by someone else as she is not fulfilling his needs because Britony has essentially replaced him, sorry about the directness. Personally, I hate being in the middle of two main partners it's like a tug of war...
I totally agree. I am also surprised that Brittany refers to the attachment as "just fears". It is much more than that. I wouldn't expect that statement from a relationship coach. I also don't understand why they view jealousy so negatively. I think we should nurture all emotions and appreciate them. Yes, jealousy is unhealthy when it causes damaging, violent behavior, but it can also be beneficial when we feel it in certain situations and if we can control it - it provides us with clues to what we desire and can empower us to achieve what we want. I definitely would never want to fully eradicate it from my life. It is so natural and primal, so I will never understand why poly people fear it so much and put such a negative label on it. It’s like suppressing your natural sexual desires - everyone can technically do it, but it will do you harm in the long run.
Also, even if they label the changes happening in their relationship as a ‘'shift’’, most people will always see it as polyamory gone wrong - ofc, they have the right to label it as they want, but for most people, choosing one person over another (Brittany choosing to live with a Bridgette instead with Conor) means breaking up with one of them on an emotional level (even if they continue staying in a relationship). That is the point/beauty of a relationship for most people (regardless of being monogamous/polyamorous) - choosing a specific person over another and not just any person. + The fact that they still live close to each other and spend time together doesn’t automatically mean that their relationship is as deep as it was - again, everyone has different standards of what “deep” means, but I know so many people who broke up and still co-parent together, cuddle, spend time together, etc. - even if they are monogamous. It seems more like devoted friends than devoted partners to me, but that's just what I get from this video. The fact that Conor wanted to fill the void as soon as he moved out speaks volumes - he was not ready for it/didn’t want it. It feels to me that he just accepted it under the illusion that he is responsible for everything that he feels (without considering that he is a social being, influenced by other people's behavior without control over it) and that he just needs to work harder on himself not feeling those emotions anymore. It probably worked over time, but IMO that’s not how our brains are wired to process grief/break-ups, etc. People don't need to suppress their feelings to be open-minded - which I think many poly people fear - to be judged as "not enough open-minded and not in control of their emotions enough".
They seem more like friends now for sure. But that's great for their child. Better friends than a messy break up. I think they are very evolved.
Unhealthy attachment is just fierce, but secure attachment that is healthy is not based in fear but in love.
I also noticed that Conor was not a hell yes to living with Brigette and I would love to hear more honest reflections of this whole transition when C+B+B are able to share. I think I would be really healing for everyone involved to really unpack the honest truth of the feelings, just like you said. for me there is still a lot of grief that Conor moved out, and I also think the video where they first shared that news has been taken down. Again, it's a choice everyone made and they've moved on but I agree with a lot of what you are saying here.
@@juliamissgoolia2030 of course we can only speculate. NM is hard and I think this unpacking could be beneficial for the viewers. I mean in the end, they could say yes it was super hard but worked for the best... we don't know but something feels off to me.
Hey guys! I don't want to be making assumptions about your relationship like others have, but I do notice a big change. You guys don't listen to eachother as well as you used too with those same loving non- judgemental expressions and often interrupt eachother.
Moreover, I see a strong unspoken feeling of tension, hurt and unease between you. Something looks strained in your communication.
I believe you have a lot of love for eachother and admire your commitment to keep trying to work through stuff, I just hope the battle is now worth the rewards. You must feel the extra pressure as relationship coaches, believing you have to set a certain example for others and I can't imagine what that brings for you both.
Also, although I think Brittany has good intentions, I feel maybe she is overstepping a line a little getting too involved with Connors new partner? When it seemed like Connor really stepped back when Brittany met Bridget.
Anyway, this is just the opinion of a stranger on the Internet.
Totally agree with you. I miss the old energy vibes they had...
I love the celebration of the evolution of your partnership. You two have paid attention to what you need in each moment, and adapted as the needs have changed instead of stayed in the place where you met. That takes so much letting go and observing/ allowing all changes to be ok. It’s beautiful to witness and an inspiration!
Thanks for seeing us Maggie 🥰🥰
That is it, isn't it? Being authentic with oneself is where it starts in creating an authentic, lasting relationship.
It's so good to see you again. I'm thinking Illiah is pretty grown now. I'd love to see him again if you're willing.
You both feel so sweet and gentle and accepting. Beautiful!
I love how you authentically show up for each other and allow your relationship to morph as best fits your souls journey both together and as individuals 💜
Just validating: yes, I believe you two don't owe and aren't required to share anything at all with the public. It's a very personal gift you can choose to give if and when you want. Sometimes with social media it's like the audience gets entitled or demanding (or just very curious) about wanting the content creator to "share more" which is not okay to me. It's emotional intimacy so consent and your boundaries matter. I love that Connor modeled being in a true yes, no, or maybe about it.
Also I'm very glad you all share cause I find it fascinating! It's like your relationship is a big social paradigm shift radical psychological experiment or something which my psychology and relating parts find so interesting. Especially cause I've had limited access to hearing in-depth about anyone's poly relationship. And wasn't always drawn to, resonant with, some versions of that I've seen. There's such an honoring, supportive energy between you two of each other and yourselves. That separating actually sounds so healthy to me cause there are pros and cons to the initial merging (at its extreme people can lose themselves - I experienced that once and it was so destabilizing I needed to be single for years after that).
Totally resonated with what you said about a level of maturity. My husband and I are at 14 years and it feels so good. The healing has been profound and like Brittany said, the chaotic energy is no longer there.
I have learnt so much about relationships since following you guys from the beginning and even though I’m not or may never be in a poly dynamic the knowledge it brings I feel is so transferable to all types of relationships. It has helped me heal in so many ways and have love for my ex partner and learning to be happy for his new relationships that I never knew could because possible for me, so thank you!
So your really not together anymore
Love the mindfulnes of this partnership now. I recall the NRE at the start, and the many changes that have happened since. I like that you are now both prioritizing what serves you the best. It's interesting how you're both falling in love with different versions of each other and your relationship. Interesting the discorse around everything in the comments section being 50/50 positive to the new changes, I guess from my own experience of poly this seems like the best and most natural way forward
Love watching you 2 💚🌱 thank you for the gift of sharing 💋
Brittany your natural beauty is absolutely glamorous! I just have to note I love your side profile, such beautiful cheekbones and features and your smile is dazzling. 💚🌱
Connor your haircut and beard look so chic on you and so sophisticated. You are gorgeous 🌱💚
You are so sweet! Blushing over here :)
I love my husband’s girlfriend. She’s beautiful on the inside and out. She and I became fast friends and we hangout together on a regular basis. I’m so happy she’s in my and my husband’s life ❤
I relate to this soooo much!! Im at 7 years in one poly relationship and 1 year in another. I love experiencing and growing in both
Do you guys think of any way that the polyamory causes you to drift apart
Have been following you both for 5 or more years now. Poly isn't for me but I follow and have changed my way of communication with partners and creating space its a beautiful thing. But I also just selfishly hope you both make another beautiful being Iliya (sp?) Is the best!
There is a sad shadow over this relationship now. In the past I watched their story like a soap opera. They were such a cute couple with the gymnastics and living in the van. It started to split when Brittany brought in the woman. He moved out. I don't blame him.
Polyamory isn’t for me, but you two have inspired me to be more authentic and live in alignment to myself. I specifically love the language you both use - it seems so intentional and purposeful, and I absolutely love it. I strive to walk through life with a similar perspective 🤍 All the best to you guys!
And just as a question for engagement - do you guys still have hopes/plans to grow your family and try for another baby?
Thanks Zoe! We are open to it 🥰
Their relationship is a joke. 🤡
@@cyrusthegreat3299 As much of a joke as your reply is to a stranger on a 3 month old comment about something you obviously have a ton of jealousy about? 😂
@@synnocide My comment was serious but clowns like u who would follow anyone who's a little famous and do any dumb thing they see online, can never see the truth of it.
@@cyrusthegreat3299 Oh boy, perhaps even more jealous than I originally thought. Yikes. Try therapy, bud. Or maybe getting laid 😂
Its so beatiful to see your growth over the years! Thanks for sharing from the rawness, so much love, thanks for existing. You are amazing!
You are so welcome!
love seeing you guys grow and change, good to see you 💕
Thanks for being here!
So happy to see you two and how you have been evolving! Thanks for sharing!
Sending you lots of love!
i appreciate you both so much it brings tears to my eyes.
It's so good to see how y'all have grown! Where you are now isn't where you were when Conor moved-and that's great! 2 years would be a long time to stay stagnant. It's easy from the outside for people to make assumptions about what is going on or where you're at emotionally, but I truly believe what you have is beautiful. Love is so fluid and ever-changing and expanding and that's what makes it so fulfilling. Next time we're in Austin (we live a few hours north), I hope we run into you! The energy you both give off is so vibrant and playful and I would love to get to meet y'all. Glad to see you doing well :)
Thanks Mikala!!
Nice update.
Ok, I lied. 😂 I’m clearly commenting as I watch. Connor, thank you for sharing about your new partner and the boundaries you set for yourself around sharing. I’m excited for you. ❤
🤣 love you!
So happy for this update, and happy for you Conor!
U guys are so awesome. Thank u for sharing. This is gold. So much healing for me through that.
YES I HAVE BEEN WAITING!
This doesn’t feel like a happy healthy relationship despite the presentation. They’ve created a brand & income contingent on their relationship. They’re no longer a nuclear unit, but keep saying “it’s fine, we’re fine, it’s great” meanwhile crying in a dark corner (figuratively speaking).
I feel like Bridgett came along and Britt fell for her and they lost each other (Conor and Britt)
Sounds like you might be projecting your own beliefs about what a successful relationship can and should look like.
What defines happy and healthy?
Their evolution is beautiful. Their exploration of the nuances and how they’ve authentically looked at those spaces together is truly inspiring. This from someone who has been married for 30 years. 😊
I am so confused why you think that?
Can you share with us if you're both still vegan?
Unfortunately she is no longer vegan.
You both look and sound so healthy and happy!
Thanks Lauren
So much golden insights in this 😍😍😍
Loved the update, thank you.
Glad you enjoyed it!
When new relationship energy, I call this cupcake energy, ages into established relationship energy.
Parents and business.
How’s your child doing? Are they doing well? Maybe I need to search your page for a recent update. 🥰
Yes they are well ❤️ you can follow us on Instagram for more frequent updates!
Heck yea guys. Love watching your journey over the past few years. I'm training to become a therapist and so excited to work with polyamourous people, thanks to you!
You guys are crushing it.
I love you guys
Love u guys
That might be random but i would love you to share what Illya eats. Toddlers can be picky eaters and i would like to learn from you, how you nevigate this. Much Love
Ur friends and he's not attracted to u like he was?
I think he loves u more.
When is the next Winter Fruit Festival? 🙂
Nothing in the works for now! :)
❤❤❤
♥️✨
I just have to say….I miss the way Brittany used to look at Connor with such lust in her eyes as if she was genuinely connected to him soul to soul. I also miss the way the Conner fawned over Brittany and I feel as though that part of them is missing. Maybe people would call it settling in however I think they should consider taking “themselves” back to the dating stage and start actually dating each other again and relearn the new person and fall in love with the new person each of them has become and integrate all partners.
I recognized this feeling in myself when I was watching. then I remembered when I first started embracing this idea, there was a shift in how I looked at things and it took a minute. I think that’s what’s happening here and it’s a challenge to us to consider that it’s OK to move past that point and support each other with us authenticity,love, romance and kindness as we figure it out. so I’m choosing to examine why that would be important to me that they still interact in a way that makes me feel more comfortable based on our culture.
I totally agree with this comment...
What you mention. Fawning and simping are unbalanced. Just most people don’t get that. They are more balanced now.
@@lizh5396 I don't think anyone said that they should interact in a way or another. I think what the OP means is that they miss that energy level between them, of a deep love connection. And the belief that this same energy can come back in human relationships again and again even between the same persons. If they want.
It's usually what happens after you have kids. The spark gets sucked out of you bc you get so consumed. Plus their business they have together ? It's a lot.
I'm so glad I found you two. I've been a follower for years and have always felt very safe watching your videos. Me and my partner have been together for 14 years now, and we were always seen as the "strange couple" because we didn't live together, for 10 years we went through periods of either seeing each other every weekend or every other weekend. We felt a lot of pressure and judgement from society in general that this was wrong, that out relationship was "in trouble" and got asked a lot of questions as to why we weren't living together yet. But it just felt right for both of us. I like that I found you because it was very nice at the time knowing that there are other people out there who didnt live "normally".
I love how your relationship is with each other. And I like that in my relationship (and it seems yours too) that we live life together side by side, not as two halves of a whole. It's beautiful, you are beautiful ❤️ thank you for everything ❤️❤️
Love that you are doing what is right for you! Despite how hard it can be to carve your own path
I’ve been with my partner for 17 years in one way or another, we have lived together and now don’t, may do again. Thanks for your comment, nice to know we’re less weird than it sometimes feels
The quiet pain I feel watching this video reminds me of the feeling when I’ve been in the end of a relationship, knowing it’s about to dissolve. The wind has changed, things have happened, separation has begun- words have just not yet been spoken. Trying to hang of for dear life, pretending it’s all fine. Yet nothing is fine and never will be, not like it once was. Other things and people seems more enticing yet the memories and nostalgia keeps tugging at the heart. Oh man, that feeling. It’s awful.
But that is all me, ofcourse, projecting and seeing things from my non poly mindset 💕.
Im exhausted after watching this, twice. I call BS. Brit played Conor with Bridget. Conor found another partner, is healing, is at peace. Be co-parents, not partners in lovers or business. Then you, Conor, will be whole again.
I feel like ive grown with y’all. Started watching you when I was 24ish and now I’m 31.
Aww that's amazing to hear!
Conor: “I have a new significant partner and…I feel like that’s mine.
Brittany: “You mean like…that knowledge is yours…”
Me: “No he’s means that ass is MINE!!” 😝😝😝😍😍😍
😂
It's so refreshing to observe two people communicating and really being there for each other through transition. This is what love and compassion looks like!
How blind and foolish and also selfish should u be to think that this is a good/healthy relationship.
Can't u see the pain the guy's eyes?
Why would anyone be partnered with someone as selfish and emotionally dead as y'all?
I appreciate you talking about flexibility as a whole, not just in a relationship. I'm going through one of my toughest times so far... My Mother was diagnosed with Dementia during Covid (end of June 2020), and things are progressing more now, and it's very hard for me... I'm not ready to lose my Mom yet. I'm only 41, and I already lost my Father at 20 from a sudden heart attack, and I just want to be able to have more time with my Mom... she's truly my best friend.
I've been caring for her for the past 2 years and more so in the past 7 weeks (living with her for the most part, eventhough I have my own home 5 minutes away that I own), and it's VERY hard. Watching somebody you love, lose their mind, and memory is one of the toughest things to go through. I'm trying to be more flexible with my own feelings and let myself know that it's okay to feel sad and even broken at times, but it's hard.
I know that what I'm sharing isn't about a "partnership" but still a relationship with a loved one, I just wanted to let you both know that I appreciated you discussing flexibility, and was able to connect that with my own life (eventhough I'm single right now and not dating since my last relationship ended 2/1/21), and the "flexibility" likely involves just giving myself more grace.
I'm sorry for such a long comment...
Take Care Everybody!
❤️
I really appreciate your willingness to step outside of societal norms and live authentically! I am sure it's not easy, especially while being perceived by thousands on the internet. I think it's wonderful that you've been able to keep more of your personal lives to yourselves. Thanks for the update, I am always rooting for you!
We appreciate the love! xoxo
Would love to see an update on if Conor and Brittany are still together romantically, or are just friends and co-parents now
I absolutely LOVE living alone I will never move in with anyone ever again as long as I am able. It is THE BEST.
I feel like people have so many questions because the intimacy seems to be lacking recently, basically since Connor moved. It appears in the public eye that Brittany and Bridget are super close and intimate, while you two have become less close physically.
I think you just dont understand how unhealthy polyamory by default is - i think you never; especially in
this fanbase here that makes you ignore
all this; think why Monogamy isnt just prevelant but specifically: replaced polyamory cause its
just more advanced and good for Humans.
I don't think it's impossible to feel NRA in a long term relationship, nor that it is per definition unhealthy. Me and my husband (living apart together) definitely have these phases even though we have been together longer than you.
Love yous, though I do wonder sometimes how the youtube video and by extension your business may have an impact on your relationship
You guys, I’m bummed! I wanted the tea! Lol Relationships are tough sometimes to navigate. I’m glad you guys have come to a space where you both are comfortable talking about it…keep doing what you guys are doing! Cheers
We love your honesty! 😅
You all are incredible. I am so inspired by your authenticity in every moment, throughout all the different seasons of your relationship with each other and yourselves. Just amazing. Thank you 🙏💚✨
Do you both still go on dates? How has your sex life evolved? What really went on behind the scenes with Brigette that caused the learning you speak of generally? Would love more days in the life videos like you used to do
I felt a somber energy in this video. I was really curious to hear an update after your hiatus. I was worried you two were struggling. The dynamic between you two has really shifted since Bridgette came into the picture, I wonder if you two will ever go back to monogamy... as it might be challenging for Ilya to grow up in this split household situation. Wish you two the best and interested to see what the future is of this channel.
They were never monogamous.
Monogamous? Um I don't think that was ever even a conversation from what they have shared.. I think a split home with two loving parents who not only love and put their child first but also love one another is about as good as it gets for a child 💗
I work with children and families, educated on children's psychology and family dynamics, I do NOT think this is an unhealthy household situation for a child. Ilya seems well loved by all three parents who make an effort to spend time with them daily. There seems to be a lot of consistency and plenty of love and support
think it would be interesting to talk about how pregancy and birth affected all of this
I've never witnessed relationship dynamics like this and I think it's really cool what you guys are doing. Seems like you two are good about keeping things from becoming static. Which is exactly what I've struggled with in the past. I have a hard time with not being apathetic or bored with my partner after being together for a long time. You guys take what is offered by our culture and you rearrange it and flip it upside down. It's amazing and beautiful. Love your videos. 😊
Thank you for sharing this reflection Marissa
I love how you honor yourselves and love sharing that with each other. As a person healing codependency habits, I asked a brilliant therapist what the definition of a healthy relationship is or what one might entail.. she turned around and asked me the same question. I had some ideas or qualities come to mind, and you two arose in my mind as a refreshing example of that which has allowed me to envision what healthy connections could look like for myself and others. I think your confident yet humble, open honesty is the most beautiful thing about what you choose to share with the world. Thank you for sharing your hope, even perhaps as you create your own.
Connor was wise to get out of this unhealthy triangle. He found his own mate
So good to catch up with you both 🥰 Can we please
have an Ilya update be so nice to see how the little one is getting on xx
So happy to see an update and respect what you want to share and what you don't. I do find myself curious... I'd love to know your enneagram types. 😆 Especially during that part talking about your energies being a bit different.
I love you both and your work in the world too. Been watching you since 2015, drawn to you since then and really enjoy watching, it feels so right to me. I think you might be my favourite couple, period. And I have others I love but I think you're the ones I admire the most! I can feel you're both more grounded in the situation too, it must have been such hard work. More power to you.
Also you may be the first couple that made me realise I'm non monogamous and make that choice in my relationship setup as something I wanted in the future (which I'm practicing now in dating)
Wow, thanks for this beautiful share
My wife and I recently separated and are now living apart. We are still communicating and are adamant on maintaining our core friendship.
Beautiful
I definitely feel the grounded energy from both of you. You both look REALLY well. I love it! I also love what you said Connor about being selective on what you share. I have been feeling that really strongly too in my life on being really in tune with what I share with whom.
You guys have grown so.much ❤️
Lol, so you want the freedom of being with others and be able to get what others can offer you but still wanna keep the comfortable of being together and those benefits too.
Sad day when one of you wake up one day and figured out that you've moved on, while the other person has not.
Hey Conor & Brittany. Thank you so much for sharing this update with us. I’ve been following you for a few years now, maybe about 2 years before Ilya entered the world (maybe even longer), but I wanted to mention that it has been pleasant watching you guys go through these different transitions together. Although your relationship isn’t traditional, which may be the root of some of these negative comments, your connection between one another is truly inspiring. People evolve constantly and for you both to allow us to experience your lives WITH YOU has been wonderful. Thank you for being here to share your story with us.
so, to sum up, they are no longer together the way they used to
I don't like the fact that a lot of people are blaming Brittany. Yes, Brittany is choosing to live with Bridgette instead of with Conor. But then, we need to ask ourselves why she made that decision. I can clearly see that Conor had a lot of his focus on other women, while Bridgette seems like she genuinely wanted to have quality time with Brittany. I don't believe in successful polyamorous relationships. However I hope that Brittany and Conor prioritize their child, then it's all good.
Every Relationship Type Friend, Fam, Lover, Self Is A Dynamic Adventure, and not One Bit Can Ever Be Duplicated♡
Much Respect Uniquely Beautiful Creatures.
Dear Brittany & Connor, I'm not into polyamory, but jumped on to your channel 6ish years ago when it seemed "trendy" and kept watching on and off. I must say - what keeps me coming back is not only your topic of polyamory but the way in which you reflect on your relationship - In front of this huge online audience. That really deserves respect and is very admirable. Espiacially since relationships are often the playground for our deepest shadows / behavioral flaws to surface, which you also talk about. To be that open and reflect upon the good and the bad means to openly accept ambivalence, flaws etc. I think that's a very healthy and "real" way to produce content, which not a lot of creators adopt on youtube I guess. I also loved when you said that you only shared what you felt 100 % exited and sure about. In the end it’s important to establish boundaries - even with you youtube community. Hugs from across the pond xoxo😊
Where is bridget ? I have not watched your videos for a long time
You can keep up with Bridgette on IG instagram.com/bridgettewolleat/
So you both have found someone else, but still love each other, but just as exes?
can you explain more, in what ways you didn't flow for examples and being together in a relationship. can you explain more on wanting a partner to be different, you talked about it some in your video and how to work through it. Also, what helped you do self shadow work? like any books. thanks
I value this update and continue to appreciate the trust you have with each other and choose to share with us.
Ok last comment, haha! Also when you have a child (ours is 8) it truly changes and matures your relationship as well. In the best way.
FRIENDS.
You two are so generous with your time to create such a space like this. Thank you for all that you share with your thoughts and perspectives. Thank you!! Looking forward to the workshop! Thank you Conor and Brittany for being YOU!
Thanks!! See you there :)
I love how what you guys have to share has been speaking to me for years now ❤️
I never went to loose that focus on myself ever again. I did once and it was the darkest time of my life. I truly feel that includes living alone. This gives me comfort as I personally don’t do well living with someone. I hope I can find someone someday who respects those boundaries. ❤
You are both glowing! Physically and all the other ways ❤️
Oh thank you!
Forgot how much I liked listening to you both speak! I'm poor, so keep posting here too
Body language never lies no matter how many words are spoken ..and spoken ..and spoken .
What do you call the kind of communication Brittany and Conor have with each other? Is it a certain philosophy or method? I've noticed it's an open form of communicating without minimal judgment. It feels very raw and honest
We recommend looking into "non violent communication" 🥰
Who designed the background ? It’s so aesthetically pleasing 💙
Ok…. The LAT thing?? FOR ME
As soon as it goes OPEN MARRIAGE… SHUTTING IT DOWN BABY!
Love seeing this progression over the years. ❤
Regression would be the correct word.
Gosh I love you guys. So wise and grounded. Thank you, as always, for sharing with us ❤️
I love when you decide to share these things but I also understand all your ventures and what brings you joy. I receive your gift today and thank you. I support you both so much. 🙏
Thank you for your support! xoxo
This conversation was so insightful for me 💕 I started watching you guys back when I was around 19 and I’m 26 now 😭 love that Conor and Brit have such amazing partners now as well
Loving you! 😘
hehe same here! :-)
I'm glad I checked back in on you guys. It has been a hot minute. I love both of your hairstyles in this video. :D
Welcome back! 😘
Missed you here ❤️
😘