Moved to a new country 6 years ago, tried using a dating app for the first time because I was just curious. Saw “someones” profile, messaged him, he messaged back the ff day, we met up for drinks and had a nice time, was inseparable since and 6 years later, that “someone” is now my amazing husband of nearly 5 years! We both got really, really lucky!
Neither of them are addressing what's actually going on. If your profile communicates low status, then you responding quickly will reinforce her low status perception of you and turn her off. If your profile communicates high status, high value etc then you replying quickly does not work against you but actually works in your favour to cut through everyone else she's talking to and get to the next stage in the dating process. But of course, you will never hear this advice from a women because they're instinctively against anything that would be perceived as "gaming" or "manipulating" an interaction and will often say "just be yourself" or "be honest".
I want to know something, I used a dating app for a day which I haven't done in my whole lifetime. I feel like most of them are not really there to find love. How can we really find a good person inspite of all faking people. I feel sleepless all night by thinking about this. It's kinda scary. I deleted the app the next day. I don't know whether I feel scared to open up or scared about wrong person or over thinking.
Over thinking for sure. The fact that you felt sleepless is your brain telling you that this is something to be anxious of, and that's signalling to your body to prepare fight or flight. I'm sure you don't walk down the street, looking at everyone for your next best friend. Or do you scroll on store websites and adding everything to your cart to assess its intentions, probably not.. you likely just scroll until something catches your eye because it fits into the criteria you have for your shopping. Not everyone is a dating app person, I'm not one myself. I do know that this should be a supplement to the life you already lead and love. If the other areas of your life are full and happy and engaging, then you wont be so caught up in finding love and therefore not anxious about the people on the apps and their intentions. Maybe take a break from apps and dating and look inward at your existing life. Are you happy with it or are you looking to date to fill a void you created? Guarantee, the more you truly appreciate and love your life because you made it for you, the less the strangers on the app will take up mental energy and therefore the closer to finding love you will be.Hope that helps!
@@sim771 over thinking part is true also I found out the fact that I'm not a dating app person. I always felt like I should a meet a person organically but It didn't happen like the meeting of minds and hearts never happend so my friend suggested me to use the dating app, but after using the app for a day I felt really bad and deleted it. I almost lost hope in love. I shared this with my friend, she insisted me to use at least a week but I told them it's not my thing, they used to call me saint but they are confirmed I'm a saint. I have never dated anyone, maybe the fear of getting hurt holds me back so I neglect person who comes to me, also I don't feel like approaching someone even though I have good impression on them. Many what's if in my mind. But I have to figure out the way, that too growing as a Indian child,there are many taboos. Thanks mate, for the tip!
Bloody hell Ali, asking the real questions! So glad to hear that the data coincides what I want to call "healthy" behavior 😁 Also, it's pretty reassuring that that's a thing you intuitively did as well 😄 I'm still a bit self-conscious about answering fast on dating apps and messengers in general
A lot of guys on dating apps are so cagey when it comes to sex (so I was happy the guest here mentioned it as an important thing to discuss). When I say cagey, here's an example. On so many dates you'd meet a guy and then towards the end he gets really forward and touchy feely etc. which is so creepy. Like, how about you open your mouth and communicate that you're looking for sex ... or you want to get laid that night?! They do this weird thing wear they try to communicate this instead with their often invasive physical actions and eye contact. So weird. Like, talk.
It’s a common pickup artist tactic. They know women don’t like thirsty men who are there to look for sex so they pretend to be close to you/friendly and then slowly coerce you into having sex once you build that connection with them it’s so creepy and manipulative. This is why i think dating apps are so toxic and dangerous for women. Women would benefit more if they wait until marriage.
These Videos, rules, games are Utterly ridicolous. You pretend you are someone else to make Someone like someone you are not. If anything they just increase anxiety. Just be yourself🤷♂️
This advice once again is really nice... If you already have a lot of conversations on dating apps and you just need to choose between options. But how do you even get to that point in the first place? Like, what are you folks doing to actually get people to match you on dating-apps? Being honest and myself very obviously doesn't work.
Moved to a new country 6 years ago, tried using a dating app for the first time because I was just curious. Saw “someones” profile, messaged him, he messaged back the ff day, we met up for drinks and had a nice time, was inseparable since and 6 years later, that “someone” is now my amazing husband of nearly 5 years! We both got really, really lucky!
Honestly, I wish people would just be honest on dating apps. This would save A LOT of time for anyone wanting to find a real relationship.
Spot on ! Bottom line just communicate without playing games. Just behave like adults !
Texting is so last decade, leaving messages in notebooks around the city is where it's at now.
Dr.Ali setting us up for valentines day 😏💯 Nice Vid Ali 🔥
Neither of them are addressing what's actually going on. If your profile communicates low status, then you responding quickly will reinforce her low status perception of you and turn her off. If your profile communicates high status, high value etc then you replying quickly does not work against you but actually works in your favour to cut through everyone else she's talking to and get to the next stage in the dating process. But of course, you will never hear this advice from a women because they're instinctively against anything that would be perceived as "gaming" or "manipulating" an interaction and will often say "just be yourself" or "be honest".
As a female living in the UK, regular authentic communication is hugely attractive to me! Also being honest about your intentions
Ali you are so inspiring.
I know this thing isn't relevant to the video but I just wanted to say this.
th-cam.com/video/ERdXV5OzSfg/w-d-xo.html - Please watch
I want to know something, I used a dating app for a day which I haven't done in my whole lifetime. I feel like most of them are not really there to find love. How can we really find a good person inspite of all faking people. I feel sleepless all night by thinking about this. It's kinda scary. I deleted the app the next day. I don't know whether I feel scared to open up or scared about wrong person or over thinking.
Over thinking for sure. The fact that you felt sleepless is your brain telling you that this is something to be anxious of, and that's signalling to your body to prepare fight or flight. I'm sure you don't walk down the street, looking at everyone for your next best friend. Or do you scroll on store websites and adding everything to your cart to assess its intentions, probably not.. you likely just scroll until something catches your eye because it fits into the criteria you have for your shopping.
Not everyone is a dating app person, I'm not one myself. I do know that this should be a supplement to the life you already lead and love. If the other areas of your life are full and happy and engaging, then you wont be so caught up in finding love and therefore not anxious about the people on the apps and their intentions. Maybe take a break from apps and dating and look inward at your existing life. Are you happy with it or are you looking to date to fill a void you created? Guarantee, the more you truly appreciate and love your life because you made it for you, the less the strangers on the app will take up mental energy and therefore the closer to finding love you will be.Hope that helps!
@@sim771 over thinking part is true also I found out the fact that I'm not a dating app person. I always felt like I should a meet a person organically but It didn't happen like the meeting of minds and hearts never happend so my friend suggested me to use the dating app, but after using the app for a day I felt really bad and deleted it. I almost lost hope in love. I shared this with my friend, she insisted me to use at least a week but I told them it's not my thing, they used to call me saint but they are confirmed I'm a saint. I have never dated anyone, maybe the fear of getting hurt holds me back so I neglect person who comes to me, also I don't feel like approaching someone even though I have good impression on them. Many what's if in my mind. But I have to figure out the way, that too growing as a Indian child,there are many taboos. Thanks mate, for the tip!
th-cam.com/video/ERdXV5OzSfg/w-d-xo.html - Kindly watch
Hey ali, can't wait for the full episode! 😂
Thank you for the playlist of sample podcast clips, Raza :)
Captain Ali, we are counting on you!
Loved this!
"All movies are better at 1.5x speed"
NoooO pLeAsE nOoOo
Exactly time wasting, i hate time wasters
Bloody hell Ali, asking the real questions! So glad to hear that the data coincides what I want to call "healthy" behavior 😁
Also, it's pretty reassuring that that's a thing you intuitively did as well 😄 I'm still a bit self-conscious about answering fast on dating apps and messengers in general
Also, I might as well add the answer that that Musmatch girl had to my own profile 😁
th-cam.com/video/ERdXV5OzSfg/w-d-xo.html - Please watch
A lot of guys on dating apps are so cagey when it comes to sex (so I was happy the guest here mentioned it as an important thing to discuss). When I say cagey, here's an example. On so many dates you'd meet a guy and then towards the end he gets really forward and touchy feely etc. which is so creepy. Like, how about you open your mouth and communicate that you're looking for sex ... or you want to get laid that night?! They do this weird thing wear they try to communicate this instead with their often invasive physical actions and eye contact. So weird. Like, talk.
It’s a common pickup artist tactic. They know women don’t like thirsty men who are there to look for sex so they pretend to be close to you/friendly and then slowly coerce you into having sex once you build that connection with them it’s so creepy and manipulative. This is why i think dating apps are so toxic and dangerous for women. Women would benefit more if they wait until marriage.
Could I be so lucky as to match with Ali ;)
Aw asking all the real tough dating questions, you forgot to ask the hardest one: why is it so hard dating in NY?! Lol
Diffinitly agree
that was not helpful whatsoever lol. Just don’t go on a dating app. It doesn’t work unless you are really good looking. Meet people organically.
She met her partner in college, not on an app.
What’s the app called you’re on? Cause I would totally swipe right for you😌😛
These Videos, rules, games are Utterly ridicolous. You pretend you are someone else to make Someone like someone you are not. If anything they just increase anxiety.
Just be yourself🤷♂️
Must be something wrong with the personality.
👍🏻
Ali after 1yr: How to move after devasting infidelity
Ali’s lighting setup is like from something straight out of heaven
This advice once again is really nice... If you already have a lot of conversations on dating apps and you just need to choose between options.
But how do you even get to that point in the first place? Like, what are you folks doing to actually get people to match you on dating-apps?
Being honest and myself very obviously doesn't work.
Never