As a mom of daughters, I would find it very disturbing that a camp pastor who was a college graduate had decided to pursue my underage child who was at his camp!
As the mother of a 17 y/o daughter, and just as a human against pedophilia, I don’t find anything romantic, godly, sweet, or good about a grown man in a position of authority deciding to groom a minor to become his wife. If this happened in the work place, it would be unacceptable. A 23 year old man preying on a minor under his care is vile and disgusting, I don’t care how many times he takes God’s name in vain by claiming “God told him to.” It literally makes me sick to my stomach.
Yes!!! I have a 17 year old niece and I feel the same! Saying God told me to doesn’t make it okay! A lot of evil things have been done “in the name of God” it’s disgusting.
🙄 This is a sad viewpoint… this is why marriage is a joke in our society,.. because we look at nothing through the lens of Scripture… I’m assuming you’re not a Christian, and if you’re not, then marriage is just a piece of paper and a matter of convenience that can be thrown away if it is no longer convenient…. not a God ordained calling of God unifying 2 people he created to be wed in marriage… We think people have to be “this age” and they have to be in this financial standing and this maturity level with this amount of education or it can’t work… and yet marriage is as unsuccessful as ever… probably not a coincidence tjere
The normalization of this kind of grooming behavior within evangelicalism is one reason why so many are deconstructing from it. This doesn’t seem like a healthy relationship to me.
this is so devastating to her. "if he's not pleased with me I would be devastated" I remember feeling the same way that my abusive marriage was my fault. Evangelical women are groomed for abuse. I guarantee there is abuse happening here
2:33 . "If he is pleased with me, then I know I'm ok with God" Very healthy relationship right there :) (sarcasm)... Too bad we can't see the dislikes.
Were you listening? She literally used that phrase to talk about how she was being unhealthy in their relationship and says right after that "that's where I was sick". Feels like you're looking for something to pick on
@@dougcongdon2928it's fine to acknowledge your wrongs in a relationship. But it's hard to say zero problems stemmed from him being a camp pastor pursuing a camper. There are power dynamic issues in that, and seemed to have continued into their marriage
An ADULT pastor romantically pursuing a MINOR in his care and talking about being in college and her in high school and how would it work out aka him knowing it was wrong is actually disgusting and as a parent I would have pressed charges. There is nothing wholesome about this. This is called CHILD GROOMING. How can you talk about God and grooming all in one video? Yikes.
That's a tough one. It is definitely culturally inappropriate, and I personally believe it boils down to how Matt pursued his wife. If he did it in a manipulative way, then it is definitely grooming. People preying on kids definitely makes me sick to the stomach. To play devil's advocate, culturally, we have drawn a line at 18. A day before a person's 18th birthday, we would call it grooming and pedophilia, but once 24 hours pass it's perfectly acceptable. If the dude was 18 at the time , would it still be grooming? Where and how do we draw these lines? Who gets to decide? The real biggest issue I see is the sexualization of minors. The great part of the Christian faith is if it was sinful and wrong, there is forgiveness for it. It doesn't by any means excuse actions taken, and there are often real consequences to our sins, but we can be forgiven and used by God after the fact.
@@TheKindredCollectionit's grooming because he was in a position of power over her as her camp counselor. "If the dude was 18" meaning if the roles were reversed, that it was a female camp counselor who asked out a previous camper? Yes that would still be inappropriate
Love this real honesty about marriage, it seems like the church paint a fairytale picture of marriage which is so far from the truth. Please interview Heather & Cornelius Lindsey in this style, it's perfect.
Oh Goodness. This is my own story in so many ways. Lauren, this is abusive. It’s not okay. What you are going through now- also abusive. Please get out.
Yea isnt it amazing when christ changes a persons heart that they can admit who they once were, how sinful and wretched they were and how God changed them?! What an amazing testimony. Our God is amazing 🙏
@@jjgems5909nah, he groomed her. She was 17 and he was 23 when they met & he immediately knew they were gonna get married. That ain’t the Lord, that’s abuse. There’s no testimony in this. Just an admission of abuse & grooming.
Definitely see a lot couples even Christian couples who seem to make Their marriage seem All glitz and glam. Someone said marriage should thrive in a healthy way at the same time stay strong
Maybe it’s what came out just recently about him that showed that something was still there. Just really caught my attention that you made this comment a year ago and then this sad news about him.
Beautiful story. My husband and I have been married for 29yrs and there has been many, many challenges but we still can say that marriage is still good. With every new challenge we have become wiser. One thing for sure is what Matt said, acknowledging our faults and not looking at the other person as the source of the problem. With every new challenge I'm learning to say "Lord, help me to see the lesson here and please examine my heart." God is good in all our stages of marriage. Looking forward to what he has for us.
So this adult man thought it was acceptable to go after a minor, and he did this from a position of authority? *This* is actual grooming. And worse, the church thought nothing of it. "Everything was above board." - People who mask over when things aren't actually above board.
Wow, these 2 blossomed in so many ways in their walk with God and their marriage. There's peace and harmony in their togetherness, which is so beautiful to me💕
Beautiful family, love the humilty and love they share and radiate. Just finish your book Pastor Matt, love what you and your family do to encourage me and my future family (Getting married soon). Love you man, be blessed!!!
I was/am this man. I Loved/love her to death, habitually loyal, do anything for her, but I lived in a prison of 1000 daily microfears (some very real based on life experience, some manifested based on “what if”). I projected onto her and it pushed her way.... I admire Mr. Chandler’s transparency, humility, and willingness to share the hard days in a otherwise romance novel laced world. I am very thankful his wife was gracious enough to humble herself is the peacemaker despite his constant cynical attacks. God bless her heart. Very warming and hopeful story. Please pray for my anxiety, fear issues, hardheartedness, selfless emotional responses, and for our reconciliation. Thank you.
Their cultural expectations set up an unrealistic paradigm for their marriage and caused a lot of problems and while it seems to have been resolved they don't seem to have examined the conditions that led them to that mindset in the first place.
Awesome comment the same one that Kirk Franklin used when he came and confronted the media on his blow up with his son most recently.BLEZZ#KEEP DA CHANGE
Micro judging is a whirlwind of madness.. At the tail end of an 18yr relationship....Its shocking the madness we put ourselves and others through....and mostly all based on a delusional fear... Recently come to Christ and can see the afore with clarify through God. Only Christ can save us! Only God,and the holy spirit confirms this.
Perfect. Perfect. Thanks for having the humility and Faith to reflect Christ's love, influence and power in each others lives/family. Each other's simple truth's shine brightly. Thanks, guys...
God is so good. He's so faithful. When we are weak He is strong. Praise God!!!!!! Matt Chandler God was and is faithful to you because you lift your sins and transgressions up to the light! Amen!
I love them both! Their testimony and Mingling of Souls has blessed me so much and encouraged me to continue to wait on and trust in the Lord for a husband ❤❤❤
Unfortunately one of the many reason why many marriages fail. Because people think marriages are supposed to be perfect when in fact they aren’t. (👈🏻 nothing new anyone hasn’t heard) when a young married or soon to be married couple doesn’t have an older couple to learn from in marriage. The marriage will be harder than it needs to be or fail altogether.
Because it's not a beautiful love story of two people who made it work with God's help. It's the story of a pastor who took advantage of his position to pursue a minor under him and then problems ensued in their marriage
You guys called your problem out being the discommunication with the silent treatment. And Matt as you mentioned, God showed you where you needed some counseling to get clarity and once you did, your communication resumed. that's what we do when we lose communication and fellowship with God's word and communion with his Holy spirit. it's a disconnect like the vacuum cleaner plug being in the wall but not connected and we rip the whole vacuum cleaner apart thinking it's the machine when in fact it is the current that we have lost.Lets all stay connected, not just plugged in. BLEZZ#KEEP DA CHANGE
As a mom of daughters, I would find it very disturbing that a camp pastor who was a college graduate had decided to pursue my underage child who was at his camp!
100%😮💨😓😓
If you look at a woman......🤔
As the mother of a 17 y/o daughter, and just as a human against pedophilia, I don’t find anything romantic, godly, sweet, or good about a grown man in a position of authority deciding to groom a minor to become his wife. If this happened in the work place, it would be unacceptable. A 23 year old man preying on a minor under his care is vile and disgusting, I don’t care how many times he takes God’s name in vain by claiming “God told him to.” It literally makes me sick to my stomach.
👏👏👏👏
This!!
Yes!!! I have a 17 year old niece and I feel the same! Saying God told me to doesn’t make it okay! A lot of evil things have been done “in the name of God” it’s disgusting.
@@daccops Amen
🙄 This is a sad viewpoint… this is why marriage is a joke in our society,.. because we look at nothing through the lens of Scripture… I’m assuming you’re not a Christian, and if you’re not, then marriage is just a piece of paper and a matter of convenience that can be thrown away if it is no longer convenient…. not a God ordained calling of God unifying 2 people he created to be wed in marriage…
We think people have to be “this age” and they have to be in this financial standing and this maturity level with this amount of education or it can’t work… and yet marriage is as unsuccessful as ever… probably not a coincidence tjere
The normalization of this kind of grooming behavior within evangelicalism is one reason why so many are deconstructing from it. This doesn’t seem like a healthy relationship to me.
Glad someone has raised this!! Very serious matter that many are overlooking.
this is so devastating to her. "if he's not pleased with me I would be devastated" I remember feeling the same way that my abusive marriage was my fault. Evangelical women are groomed for abuse. I guarantee there is abuse happening here
2:33 . "If he is pleased with me, then I know I'm ok with God"
Very healthy relationship right there :) (sarcasm)... Too bad we can't see the dislikes.
I’m sure this is because she was so young and he was seen as an authority figure. Poor child.
👏👏👏
Were you listening? She literally used that phrase to talk about how she was being unhealthy in their relationship and says right after that "that's where I was sick". Feels like you're looking for something to pick on
@@dougcongdon2928it's fine to acknowledge your wrongs in a relationship. But it's hard to say zero problems stemmed from him being a camp pastor pursuing a camper. There are power dynamic issues in that, and seemed to have continued into their marriage
An ADULT pastor romantically pursuing a MINOR in his care and talking about being in college and her in high school and how would it work out aka him knowing it was wrong is actually disgusting and as a parent I would have pressed charges. There is nothing wholesome about this. This is called CHILD GROOMING. How can you talk about God and grooming all in one video? Yikes.
That's a tough one. It is definitely culturally inappropriate, and I personally believe it boils down to how Matt pursued his wife. If he did it in a manipulative way, then it is definitely grooming. People preying on kids definitely makes me sick to the stomach.
To play devil's advocate, culturally, we have drawn a line at 18. A day before a person's 18th birthday, we would call it grooming and pedophilia, but once 24 hours pass it's perfectly acceptable. If the dude was 18 at the time , would it still be grooming? Where and how do we draw these lines? Who gets to decide? The real biggest issue I see is the sexualization of minors.
The great part of the Christian faith is if it was sinful and wrong, there is forgiveness for it. It doesn't by any means excuse actions taken, and there are often real consequences to our sins, but we can be forgiven and used by God after the fact.
It is gross.
@@TheKindredCollectionit's grooming because he was in a position of power over her as her camp counselor.
"If the dude was 18" meaning if the roles were reversed, that it was a female camp counselor who asked out a previous camper? Yes that would still be inappropriate
Love this real honesty about marriage, it seems like the church paint a fairytale picture of marriage which is so far from the truth. Please interview Heather & Cornelius Lindsey in this style, it's perfect.
So he was an adult camp pastor who preyed on a teenage girl who was a student at the time? Got it.
And then he emotionally abused her after they got married.
Oh Goodness.
This is my own story in so many ways. Lauren, this is abusive. It’s not okay. What you are going through now- also abusive. Please get out.
This video is 7 years old lol they’re still married 😂
So basically Matt Chandler admits to being abusive.
I know. I'm concerned! Lol
Yea isnt it amazing when christ changes a persons heart that they can admit who they once were, how sinful and wretched they were and how God changed them?! What an amazing testimony. Our God is amazing 🙏
@@jjgems5909nah, he groomed her. She was 17 and he was 23 when they met & he immediately knew they were gonna get married. That ain’t the Lord, that’s abuse. There’s no testimony in this. Just an admission of abuse & grooming.
Definitely see a lot couples even Christian couples who seem to make
Their marriage seem
All glitz and glam. Someone said marriage should thrive in a healthy way at the same time stay strong
i love how honest you are! thank you for not sugar coating anything!
*Taking notes.*
There’s something about him that I don’t trust.
Maybe you have a trust issue? He’s saying he’s the problem and you don’t trust that?
Maybe it’s what came out just recently about him that showed that something was still there. Just really caught my attention that you made this comment a year ago and then this sad news about him.
Except their was nothing that came out that disqualified him from the pulpit. Nothing sexual happened, no infidelity.
How about the fact that he went for a student when he was camp speaker?
Is it the fact that he persistently groomed a child?
Beautiful story. My husband and I have been married for 29yrs and there has been many, many challenges but we still can say that marriage is still good. With every new challenge we have become wiser. One thing for sure is what Matt said, acknowledging our faults and not looking at the other person as the source of the problem. With every new challenge I'm learning to say "Lord, help me to see the lesson here and please examine my heart." God is good in all our stages of marriage. Looking forward to what he has for us.
So this adult man thought it was acceptable to go after a minor, and he did this from a position of authority? *This* is actual grooming.
And worse, the church thought nothing of it.
"Everything was above board." - People who mask over when things aren't actually above board.
How does a grown man look at a teenager and say I am going to marry her
Wow, these 2 blossomed in so many ways in their walk with God and their marriage. There's peace and harmony in their togetherness, which is so beautiful to me💕
Hope he goes to jail tbag pedo
He is a pedo.
Thanks for sharing your story Matt and Lauren. So grateful. May God continue to bless you both. x
Beautiful family, love the humilty and love they share and radiate. Just finish your book Pastor Matt, love what you and your family do to encourage me and my future family (Getting married soon). Love you man, be blessed!!!
He was 23. She was 17. That's a tad sus. Not necessarily problematic, but definitely could be.
Him being in a position of authority while she was 6 years younger is definitely a problem.
A tad suspicious? It’s the definition of grooming a child.
I was/am this man. I Loved/love her to death, habitually loyal, do anything for her, but I lived in a prison of 1000 daily microfears (some very real based on life experience, some manifested based on “what if”). I projected onto her and it pushed her way.... I admire Mr. Chandler’s transparency, humility, and willingness to share the hard days in a otherwise romance novel laced world. I am very thankful his wife was gracious enough to humble herself is the peacemaker despite his constant cynical attacks. God bless her heart. Very warming and hopeful story. Please pray for my anxiety, fear issues, hardheartedness, selfless emotional responses, and for our reconciliation. Thank you.
Amen
Their cultural expectations set up an unrealistic paradigm for their marriage and caused a lot of problems and while it seems to have been resolved they don't seem to have examined the conditions that led them to that mindset in the first place.
Gross. He groomed her.
I pray for their marriage to be safe from time to time. I so love what God does in people
Two imperfect people seeking a perfect GOD.
Awesome comment the same one that Kirk Franklin used when he came and confronted the media on his blow up with his son most recently.BLEZZ#KEEP DA CHANGE
Micro judging is a whirlwind of madness..
At the tail end of an 18yr relationship....Its shocking the madness we put ourselves and others through....and mostly all based on a delusional fear...
Recently come to Christ and can see the afore with clarify through God.
Only Christ can save us! Only God,and the holy spirit confirms this.
So you're cool with pedos?
Perfect. Perfect. Thanks for having the humility and Faith to reflect Christ's love, influence and power in each others lives/family. Each other's simple truth's shine brightly. Thanks, guys...
God is so good. He's so faithful. When we are weak He is strong. Praise God!!!!!!
Matt Chandler God was and is faithful to you because you lift your sins and transgressions up to the light! Amen!
Fuck god for letting pedos around kids
I love them both! Their testimony and Mingling of Souls has blessed me so much and encouraged me to continue to wait on and trust in the Lord for a husband ❤❤❤
this is reality. A real couple who’s both centered in Christ! I love this!
We love them too!
This is beautiful ❤️ love Matt and Lauren
Eww pedo supporter
How beautiful for him to say that her extending grace to him made him realize he was the problem. ❤❤
The rule is 1/2 your age plus 7.
If you're 23, anyone under 18 1/2 is creepy bro.
I like what she says at the end . "He refused to let us coast.. he wanted more for us"
Omg icky on SO many levels. So so many.
Unfortunately one of the many reason why many marriages fail.
Because people think marriages are supposed to be perfect when in fact they aren’t. (👈🏻 nothing new anyone hasn’t heard)
when a young married or soon to be married couple doesn’t have an older couple to learn from in marriage. The marriage will be harder than it needs to be or fail altogether.
So why did you cheat on her? You are a sick sick man.
So Matt has a pattern of using his platform to pick up women. Got it
Be nice to hear what exactly they were fighting about. But its cool
@Jesus King wait what? How old was Pastor when he married her
I am going to scream
life goals. one day.
Beautiful story ❤️ The Lord keep you together 🙏
Love you both and I hope one day I will see you face to face to hug both of you. May The Lord bless you more.
Ma'am, you are a VICTIM.
Love this ❤️ y’all are beautiful
Eww go to jail with the pedo
Who would dislike this video?
Because it's not a beautiful love story of two people who made it work with God's help. It's the story of a pastor who took advantage of his position to pursue a minor under him and then problems ensued in their marriage
beautiful
You guys called your problem out being the discommunication with the silent treatment. And Matt as you mentioned, God showed you where you needed some counseling to get clarity and once you did, your communication resumed. that's what we do when we lose communication and fellowship with God's word and communion with his Holy spirit. it's a disconnect like the vacuum cleaner plug being in the wall but not connected and we rip the whole vacuum cleaner apart thinking it's the machine when in fact it is the current that we have lost.Lets all stay connected, not just plugged in. BLEZZ#KEEP DA CHANGE
Like this guy! Went home talk 2my wife told her . failing her as her husband scares the hell out of me
Is your wife an underaged camper, too?
Excellent.
This is beautiful
He sounds like a narcissist
awesome
Hope he goes to jail
i love the Chandlers man
Your Honesty is explosive to Satans plans to kill,steal & destroy.Game ova.BLEZZ#KEEP DA CHANGE
May you all pray God may bless me with a Godly wife as well. Thank you in advance :)