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I was dating a 6’4’ man with amazing thick hair, great build, chiseled jawline, that looked like Henry Cavill. And he was the most insecure man I have ever dated. 🙈
What I´ve noticed is some not so tall men reject some "normal-looking-like" women, and tend to expect some "wonder woman" style, maybe to "compensate" their insecurities...sad, but true. A neverending circle!!
Lying to hook a date is all wrong. I mean, what does that say about you? I dated a guy or years who lied about his age and he lied about lots of other things (mostly other women) I finally came to figure out. When I asked him why he lied about his age and the multiple women he was seeing, including trying to get his ex back, he was quite honest in his reply. "I knew you wouldn't have dated me." When I asked if he would've dated ME if I was lying about other men, he said, "Oh hell no." Then he laughed. I still can't bring myself to trust online dating again.
I think you're only limiting yourself if you decide to stay offline. You can do a better job of vetting people and that drastically reduces bad experiences. I'm very careful. I talk to many and meet very few. The few I've met have been really great men, just not the right fit for me yet. Take a break and reassess... there ARE lots of good men out there.
For the ones that say you drag it out Continue on dragging it out We are your listeners in your audience and that is why I clicked on YOUR VIDEO as you share your wisdom and give us your time Just saying I appreciate your dragging it out You're thorough You're worth listening and giving my time to as well Thanks Sir
I love your authenticity and appreciate your honesty. It is tough to date in the later years and to decipher who is honest, who has the same values, dreams. Anything worthwhile takes effort. I think the key is to not give up and not lose faith in humanity.
We all have scars from childhood and adulthood. We should all come from a place of kindness and try to understand others feelings. This was a very helpful vlog. I watched it 3 times to take notes l will be getting some of the books. Remember it only takes one good person to make your wish come true. Thanks for an exceptionally great vlog.❤❤❤❤❤
Compassion for fear-yes, however if one lies about age in their dating profile, I see a deal breaker. Sorry, not. Just saying- Be who you ARE!!! Honesty is essential, right out of the gate!
After spending time with a man who had been very kind to me. He gave me a lot of positive signals that he was interested, then when I told him I liked him, he told me he does not date. I told him that I had not either since my divorce 20 years ago. I was not looking for a mate although I wanted one, I just did not put myself out there. He also said thank you when I said I liked him. It was a dead end from there and no interest at all. I had to see him weekly as I walk his dog and met him through a service. I am financially independent and he is too, Both of us have no children and are in our mid-sixties. We have lots in common, but I feel that I made a big mistake and since then it may have been a blessing in disguise.
@@amandaroberts5111 He has never been married and is a successful lawyer. I was a nurse and also a successful business owner. I knew that a man who had never been married might be or have an issue---and I think he does. I do not like games and am not willing to pursue a man who gave me positive signals even coming home early to see me and baking me muffins and cookies, and then treats me like I am invisible.
That was not a mistake. You saved yourself from wasting time being stuck in a state of hope! You also got that feeling out. I call it bravery! 💪 Please don’t forget that. Now you’ve shown yourself that you are a badass because of your openness & bravery, so you’ll be able to find that special person!🌻
I like that you have touched on the subject of vulnerability and also the fact that we all have something we are or have been suffering from in our lives. It's a hot mess out there for sure...
Excellent content Jonathon. And you look great! Bless you, in your passion and purpose to spread awareness. ❤️ Life isn't a popularity contest. People will either like you or not. Self love is a win-win. I had a chat with an interesting attractive, fit, 64 yr old engineer yesterday. I asked if he had been married. Admitted in his 20s ,short term to get into Canada .Marriage of convienence. Also admitted drinks heavily and doesn't want to be with a woman."'full time." Asked if I would go out with him? Said No. Definitely, not my type .Functional addict. I hear some men say." I prefer to be alone", or" I don't need anyone". (a classic avoidant statement)
Super good inspiration! Felt good! I think I need to make more of an effort to get out more. As for a man who despised his mother--RUN! I'm serious. If he didn't bond with and separate from his mother in a healthy way, then he will never be able to truly love a woman. The hard wiring from a despicable mother is set for life.
You know you are such a nice man, you have learned to gather and share so much, those of us who have found you are very lucky to listen to you. I truly hope more men discover you and become open to your wisdom.
I am a woman who stands 6'3" in high heels so it annoys me to no end when a petite woman insists on only a tall man. If a tiny woman needs that physical difference to help herself feel dainty and feminine, think how much more that means to a woman who can snap most men in half like a twig.
I have and continue to work on myself, however the pain of losing my child to PAS and grandchildren is a deep hurtful pain I feel not only for me but for her as well. Blessings & Love to all. Embrace Today 😊 🐾❤️
Hi Jonathan, I'm seeing this video for the 1st time. I find your videos quite interesting as I have a passion for studying and understanding personality and behavior. You are quite practical and honest in your delivery and makes so much sense. Anyway I agree that both men and women suffer from some form of insecurity. I must say though that based on my personal experience as well as shared experiences, despite the insecurites suffered most men have unrealistic expectations when they seek to find a partner. Men are visual creatures and are mainly attracted to the physical and as they get older they continue to look at females through 20 and 30 year old eyes, as a result they continue to disappoint themselves. I could go on with this topic but I will stop here. Continue to do your good work Jonathan!
The problem with short men is not that they are short. It's that they are too critical of women their height. Mature women are not as thin as they used to be, but after paying a lot of dues getting better as people, they are definitely not in the mood to put up with some guy's shallow opinion much less criticism.
We all have insecurities, it takes t8me to get to know someone and open up. I've had several men approach me but all of them don't want anything long term, but want a date and sex. That is not the only thing I want.
Outstanding points today. Thank you for normalizing some stuff we are all grappling with one way or another. Dating after decades of marriage is a very surreal but sometimes rewarding experience. 💙
I recently had major hernia surgery that required a large amount of mesh. It's been close to 8 weeks of recovery time. I spoke with my Physician about the healing time and any limitations I should still be careful with. I asked him about should I meet a nice boyfriend, what timeline should I be concerned with physically. When in doubt, ask your doctor.....they will tell you! 😊
Yep, I got dumped because my guy felt I deserved better. He put himself down a lot-chest hair(love it), bald head(love it) height(not a problem) any time he drops something while cooking at his restaurant he spazs, I tell him it’s not that serious-I always tried to counter with a positive to build him up, and tell him to lighten up. Final straw was when he forgot my birthday. I didn’t stress it, it was our first year together, and I didn’t remind him, he systematically deactivated over the next couple months, then out of the blue threw me a you deserve better text. Dude could’ve just DONE better! How do you get better in a relationship if you run anytime you make a misstep?? I’m trying to reengage so we can finally talk..treading lightly, he’s severely avoidant. Ironically the one time I showed insecurity on my body image, he asked me to my face why I’m so insecure..I felt terrible. He apologized while heartedly, but that cemented that he’s a fearful avoidant. Can’t handle others insecurities although he lives in his. Oh and I own, he rents, I’m at 6 figures, he’s hustling to get his restaurant off the ground. I want to have my business starting, I look up to him, respect his drive, it’s so attractive to me, I told him over and over..guess it didn’t resonate
You may have an accurate read on him, but be wary. People have difficulty making negative comment. They don't mean to hurt. They don't want to feel ashamed of themselves. It can be an easy out to phrase a negative reaction in terms that flatter you. He can say, "You deserve better" when what he truly feels is "You aren't good enough for me" The false message can steer you in the wrong direction. If he truly feels he's not good enough, cutting yourself down to size might help. If his true feeling is the opposite, then self denigration only proves him right.
I feel the trust . Its one reason ive decided to try date him. Its been a month and a half . I feel secure. He also treats me well and makes me laugh . But ive said i want to spend week apart & also he will be away for 2weeks after. Which will give us a month apart. The emotional intimacy is what im trying to see how to build more together Touch, quality time are our love languages and mine is also deep convos. im trying to discover How do we communicate & english is not his first language . This is a first for me. It requires bit more work i find at mo coz i need to explain what i mean/i wonder if he gets it etc… im trying to see how we connect without touch. The emotional part is v vital for me. Im going to try. And at mo hes confused & is supportive but likes the time & touch we had for the month & half. Ive explained to him my needs and the reasons … i still think this distance is a good thing to try .for learning about eachother & if we can connect deeper far apart without touch. If i find that the emotional connection isnt building whilst apart, i will continue to evaluate
I would like to donate to the foundation on behalf of your son Conner, if you can point me in the right direction I’d appreciate I’m not to sure how to do it I live in Australia so I’ll my best !! Thank you Johnathon 🙂
I do not lie about my age because I do not like wasting time or wounding feelings, not mine or anyone else's. When I have any inkling that a man is interested, I work my age into the conversation. Age gap does matter and people need to sort out their priorities in the privacy and freedom of their own thoughts. You will lose a few that way, but it would have happened eventually and in such case, sooner is better than later.
I was told by a doctor friend that men's libido difficulties are more physical where a woman's lack of libido is because of mental. This says a while lot!
Jon you have many attributes- insecurities!! Do you have any Mr Good looking!!!! I just realised I had attributes in the attraction by your list. I thought, oh I am blessed. It could not take an hour to walk up- noooo I do not have that issue. I chat to anyone and everyone. Some take this as a come on- unintentionally. My boyfriend hates it. I find people interesting so I ask Many questions and both usually enjoy the interaction. I just love you!! You are rare. You are so loveable likeable so confident. I am extremely attracted to men with dark hair but not judgemental - it’s the heart in the person - kind, has empathy, speaks well and has integrity. X
I met someone that I'm crazy about --- my contractor, but I can't tell if he's interested. We have a lot of good conversation & bantering in the eve and he's even been taking me to church for the last month, BUT I CAN'T TELL IF HE'S REALLY INTERESTED. He's introduced me to his son, his brother, shared lots of family photos, BUT other than church, he's never invited me to anything else. I don't know what to think.
Apologies:" your BRILLIANT & AMASING video with Marie: " A Man's Ability to Commit is based on these 5 Factors" Would have saved me much heartache When 1st trying online dating 2 mths ago! I'm Now Today so much better Armed & prepared. Before I had little to no Inner & outerboundaries ... Being so needy I let them rush me Without ASKING Questions- As ur video states: Questions are very important. Thanks for your great 👍 channel.
Best to not filter photos or do anything (e.g. make-up, lighting, etc) to not be You. Keep it real and authentic. Aging is a privilege. ❤ This applies to all podcasters out there. 😊
I'm just owning my truth... yes, it's a privilege, and yet it doesn't make me bad for wanting to look younger. Btw, lighting is a necessity when shooting videos indoors.
One of my customers told me well he said.. why women want a real man when they have false nails, false eyelashes snd fake hair. nothing is real about them. Why do they want a real man? 😅
I have been suffering from inside because every man feels they can't take care of me because am beutiful and they always say i will have alot of men asking me out and because of that no man is confident to approach me
Liked that question about politics. But I do see there's an interconnection between politics and morals or ethics. All I can say is I am all about women and minorities so therefor I know I could not date anyone who wasn't in support of my sex or background. I would never introduce, someone in my tribe, who in non deserving. I am family oriented and I know it would not work for me.
Good points.. However, an honest politician is an oxymoron. All governments are corrupt in one way or another. Who monitors politicians? They all make mistakes. Government is machevalian. Agree with Jonathan on extreme politics and being close minded. Many people don't fact check or do their research before voting. Opposing political beliefs and or different ideologies on belief systems can be a definate dealbreaker. Canada is a secular nation. We are fortunate to live in the western hemisphere. It's safer The eastern hemisphere is in chaos by comparison.
I advise you go easier on your picture filters- I sometimes don’t recognize your videos bc your pic doesn’t look enough like you in the videos. You look fine exactly how you are!!
I’m shrinking. My insecure with having Idiopathic Peripheral Neuropathy- which means I have no feeling in my feet. So I can’t wear heels. And, due to medications I gained unwanted weight. But I have do have positive attributes. I am likable, knowledgeable, and funny.
Not easy to talk to someone you can’t mail down lol. He asked me if I was available to talk over 2 months ago..then kept canceling or ghosting. Then dumped me 🤷🏽♀️
OK tell anybody laugh, I stand 5 foot nine without heels on. When I wear them I’m about 5’11. I think this stems from the first young man I had a crush on in high school. I really like short guys, I find them extremely attractive. And my crush had to stand about 5 foot five but he had the most amazing smile I’ve ever seen and he was smart and funny. I also find Boldman attractive, I think my true attraction points are His smile, His intelligence, his ability to talk about a myriad of subjects. I dated a guy who is 7 foot, handsome, professional linebacker. After about a month absolutely no attraction just too tall.. and the abandonment issues were epic. We all have insecurities that’s normal and natural… as far as his money and provide for me. I’ve been doing that since I’ve been 20, I got this. Can you listen to me when I need to talk? Can you be a comfort when I am feeling down or confused. I wish more men would work on themselves gentlemen if you’re looking at any of these post, please read Jonathan‘s book self love. Oh and Robert R, if you’re still out there, I’m in love with you still. I just never had the nerve to tell you.😂😂❤
@@JKNat9004 Hi Judy, I hope you're well. I'm a silver fox and love it! Streaks of your natural combined with highlights look great as well. I had a Bundt cake hairstyle for a while. Embrace aging. Let's live it up while we can! 🙏💥
When you list insecurities of men x it by three and you’ll get how much judgement women get by society. Older women have a much harder time losing weight. We’re born with more fat, less muscle mass, we lose at midlife most, or all of hormones that kept the metabolism, going. I have to ration everything I eat and work a laborious job and I still find shedding 2 lbs hard.
The effects of rejection are real Unless you have always been overlooked by literally everyone in life m And be forced to be hyper assertive to even exist and have a good quality of life When choosing a partner due to this constant rejection Such a person ends up just settling for whomever is actually interested in you and not necessarily a person you’re even interested in or would even want if you actually had a choice but of course you don’t How’d you like to live like that ? And I’m not but ugly either I have a good personality and am pleasant to be around Yet I was constantly overlooked and out of fear I married an older man who needed someone in his life since he’d been overlooked as well It turned more into a business arrangement for 30 years and that’s when I could no longer force myself to stay with him and we divorced I had met someone I actually liked but after I got divorced The exact same thing they didn’t want me either even though they’d stuck around for years showing interest But when I was finally available haha just more of the same for me like before So glad I saved myself pain hiding out in an unloving shit show of a marriage shorting my time figuring out men only want to use me and never end up wanting me unless there is something wrong with them
@@JonathonAslay I don’t necessarily agree All the experience of being rejected Since I was a small girl All of this rejection over and over and over in all aspects of my life just makes me want to keep to myself because I’m tired of being hurt for just existing
Men can workout and give up beer. Beer gut is particularly unattractive. Height is not important. Intelligence, nice face and good shoulders are what counts.
@@JKNat9004 Hi Judy, you bet it is. Same here, and with different political ideologies. Oh boy it causes problems doesn't it? When someone is trying to convert you or expects you to change yourself to suit them. It's a no-win. I've met some political extremists over the years, that participate in protests and riots. Civil disobedience. Revolutionary types of people with causes they believe in. . I want no participation in this antisocial behavior or to be involved with these people. . . It's important to be with someone on the same page.
Look more at the life experiences, not calendar years. I met someone 16 yrs younger that I fully expected to simply be a friend. (I'm 49, he's 33). However, we're both parents and been through divorce. He has had the life experiences that make him sound incredibly wise and we're able to talk for hours! I've noticed he's emotionally open in a way that men I'd been meeting aren't. It's been refreshing to have my thoughts about age challenged.
Along this road of hell I've been going down... I've been more and more curious about Jesus... I want to intimately directly know him. Can anyone help me? I’m 43, I’ve been single my whole life. Had some "situationships". 24 years worth of them, on and off, with several different men. I’m at a point in my life where I feel so damn hopeless. I’m always alone at functions, I've never brought anyone home, never been on holiday with a guy... Being told time is running out by anyone and everyone around me, is hurting me deeply... And my life's been ABSOLUTE hell since February... (I made him a better man and he didn't make me a better woman! 💯) EXCRUCIATING DEBILITATING TRAUMATIZING EMOTIONAL PAIN. Submerged in darkness. Paralyzed with panic. He raped my soul with the way he threw me away. Absolutely raped my soul. I MISS HIM AND OUR CONNECTION AND OUR CONVERSATIONS, WITH ALL MY SOUL. HE REPLACED ME. Abandoned and betrayed. Discarded like trash. Grief consumes me. I am traumatized and terrorized. I have nobody, I'm all alone, and the suffering is immense and intense. He - the man I called my best friend - gave me PTSD. Severe PTSD. He left me in February. Discarded me like garbage. The grief is unbearable. He left me. Replaced me. My "best friend". The only friend I had. The ultimate betrayal. How the actual fuck could he do this to me? We went from speaking every single day about every damn thing, and now we're strangers! I AM TORMENTED AND TORTURED AND HAUNTED. AND SO FUCKING DESPERATELY ALL ALONE. The pain and the panic and the terror are truly unbearable. A REMINDER ABOUT MEN'S INSECURITIES: Men’s insecurities - 1. Body image - hair, waist size, teeth, height etc. 2. Rejection/abandonment 3. Financial comparisons - provider/protector (father issue) 4. Sexual performance and penis size 5. Not meeting your expectations (mother issue) REMINDER TO SELF: Focus on what you're moving on to, not what you're moving on from! 💯 AFFIRMATIVE PRAYER: I remove all unhealthy attachments/thoughts/dynamics/beliefs that have been blocking my divine path... And I release all lower vibrational energies that have been creating anxiety fear and depression! I call back all my power! 🙏🏾 I HAVE LEARNED THE BELOW, ABOUT BEING A BETTER PARTNER, AS I CALL/MAGNETIZE MY TWIN-FLAME TO ME: 1. Don’t question his love for you. 2. Be open and transparent. 3. Don’t let outside influences contaminate your relationship. 4. Not showing him appreciation (will kill him, and the relationship). 5. Don’t run from his love.
You know you are such a nice man, you have learned to gather and share so much, those of us who have found you are very lucky to listen to you. I truly hope more men discover you and become open to your wisdom.
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I was dating a 6’4’ man with amazing thick hair, great build, chiseled jawline, that looked like Henry Cavill. And he was the most insecure man I have ever dated. 🙈
Yes, and many beautiful women feel the same way. Not feeling good enough is an epidemic 🙏
Very true Mashae
A grey haired man is a silver fox, a grey haired woman is just old, or heading for the hair dye😂
What I´ve noticed is some not so tall men reject some "normal-looking-like" women, and tend to expect some "wonder woman" style, maybe to "compensate" their insecurities...sad, but true. A neverending circle!!
@@Suessserat Many average guys are looking for a supermodel.
Lying to hook a date is all wrong. I mean, what does that say about you? I dated a guy or years who lied about his age and he lied about lots of other things (mostly other women) I finally came to figure out.
When I asked him why he lied about his age and the multiple women he was seeing, including trying to get his ex back, he was quite honest in his reply.
"I knew you wouldn't have dated me."
When I asked if he would've dated ME if I was lying about other men, he said, "Oh hell no." Then he laughed.
I still can't bring myself to trust online dating again.
Did he look the age he stated?
I think you're only limiting yourself if you decide to stay offline. You can do a better job of vetting people and that drastically reduces bad experiences. I'm very careful. I talk to many and meet very few. The few I've met have been really great men, just not the right fit for me yet. Take a break and reassess... there ARE lots of good men out there.
I agree about online dating. Never again.
Online dating has taught me Huge amounts about
Inner & Outerboundaries.
Had I
Listened to YOUR AMASING yt
Called:"
Men are insanely hypocritical and would never tolerate the things they expect women to put up with.
For the ones that say you drag it out
Continue on dragging it out
We are your listeners in your audience and that is why I clicked on YOUR VIDEO as you share your wisdom and give us your time
Just saying
I appreciate your dragging it out
You're thorough
You're worth listening and giving my time to as well
Thanks Sir
I love your authenticity and appreciate your honesty. It is tough to date in the later years and to decipher who is honest, who has the same values, dreams. Anything worthwhile takes effort. I think the key is to not give up and not lose faith in humanity.
I agree
I know who I am. I am confident. I am not insecure. I seem to attract men who want to use me to make😊 them feel good.
Yes same here Linda and you can get used!!
We all have scars from childhood and adulthood. We should all come from a place of kindness and try to understand others feelings. This was a very helpful vlog. I watched it 3 times to take notes l will be getting some of the books. Remember it only takes one good person to make your wish come true. Thanks for an exceptionally great vlog.❤❤❤❤❤
Well said!
People are not going to let anyone see their flaws! Women either! Lies abound!
Awesome video, Jonathon. I've just shared it on my Community page. ❣
Awesome thank you!
Compassion for fear-yes, however if one lies about age in their dating profile, I see a deal breaker. Sorry, not. Just saying- Be who you ARE!!! Honesty is essential, right out of the gate!
Thanks for sharing 🙏
But you wear make up and a bra......
After spending time with a man who had been very kind to me. He gave me a lot of positive signals that he was interested, then when I told him I liked him, he told me he does not date. I told him that I had not either since my divorce 20 years ago. I was not looking for a mate although I wanted one, I just did not put myself out there. He also said thank you when I said I liked him. It was a dead end from there and no interest at all. I had to see him weekly as I walk his dog and met him through a service. I am financially independent and he is too, Both of us have no children and are in our mid-sixties. We have lots in common, but I feel that I made a big mistake and since then it may have been a blessing in disguise.
You spoke from the heart... nothing wrong with that.
Sounds like my situation, l did the same and he closed off, maybe it is for the best as he did not react in a mature way, same for you l geuss
@@amandaroberts5111 He has never been married and is a successful lawyer. I was a nurse and also a successful business owner. I knew that a man who had never been married might be or have an issue---and I think he does. I do not like games and am not willing to pursue a man who gave me positive signals even coming home early to see me and baking me muffins and cookies, and then treats me like I am invisible.
That was not a mistake. You saved yourself from wasting time being stuck in a state of hope! You also got that feeling out. I call it bravery! 💪 Please don’t forget that. Now you’ve shown yourself that you are a badass because of your openness & bravery, so you’ll be able to find that special person!🌻
@@jenniferlee7167 my mom always said beware of an older man never married and I so agree
Women and men just have to find that one ☝️ person who truly appreciates your existence 😅
I Love your Content, and Your Channel Jonathon! I Love when Marie comes on as well, and how she openly Shares her Experience... Thank You~🙏
Glad you enjoy it!
I like that you have touched on the subject of vulnerability and also the fact that we all have something we are or have been suffering from in our lives. It's a hot mess out there for sure...
Excellent content Jonathon. And you look great!
Bless you, in your passion and purpose to spread awareness. ❤️
Life isn't a popularity contest. People will either like you or not. Self love is a win-win.
I had a chat with an interesting attractive, fit, 64 yr old engineer yesterday. I asked if he had been married. Admitted in his 20s ,short term to get into Canada .Marriage of convienence. Also admitted drinks heavily and doesn't want to be with a woman."'full time." Asked if I would go out with him? Said No.
Definitely, not my type .Functional addict.
I hear some men say." I prefer to be alone", or" I don't need anyone". (a classic avoidant statement)
Awe... thank you 😊
@@JonathonAslay You're welcome. Hugs!
This was listed so beautifully, and compassionately. Informative.😊
Glad you enjoyed it!
Super good inspiration! Felt good! I think I need to make more of an effort to get out more.
As for a man who despised his mother--RUN! I'm serious. If he didn't bond with and separate from his mother in a healthy way, then he will never be able to truly love a woman. The hard wiring from a despicable mother is set for life.
We all have a mother wound 🙏
Absolutely true Infrared!
You know you are such a nice man, you have learned to gather and share so much, those of us who have found you are very lucky to listen to you. I truly hope more men discover you and become open to your wisdom.
So nice of you
I am a woman who stands 6'3" in high heels so it annoys me to no end when a petite woman insists on only a tall man. If a tiny woman needs that physical difference to help herself feel dainty and feminine, think how much more that means to a woman who can snap most men in half like a twig.
I have and continue to work on myself, however the pain of losing my child to PAS and grandchildren is a deep hurtful pain I feel not only for me but for her as well. Blessings & Love to all. Embrace Today 😊 🐾❤️
Thanks for sharing!!
Hi Jonathan, I'm seeing this video for the 1st time. I find your videos quite interesting as I have a passion for studying and understanding personality and behavior. You are quite practical and honest in your delivery and makes so much sense. Anyway I agree that both men and women suffer from some form of insecurity. I must say though that based on my personal experience as well as shared experiences, despite the insecurites suffered most men have unrealistic expectations when they seek to find a partner. Men are visual creatures and are mainly attracted to the physical and as they get older they continue to look at females through 20 and 30 year old eyes, as a result they continue to disappoint themselves. I could go on with this topic but I will stop here. Continue to do your good work Jonathan!
The problem with short men is not that they are short. It's that they are too critical of women their height. Mature women are not as thin as they used to be, but after paying a lot of dues getting better as people, they are definitely not in the mood to put up with some guy's shallow opinion much less criticism.
Not all men act that way...
Short man syndrome?
So right it’s the person’s spirit
Exactly!
We all have insecurities, it takes t8me to get to know someone and open up. I've had several men approach me but all of them don't want anything long term, but want a date and sex. That is not the only thing I want.
Jonathan you’re fantastic. I got two of
The books you recommended. Love them! Thank you so very much.
Glad you like them!
Outstanding points today. Thank you for normalizing some stuff we are all grappling with one way or another. Dating after decades of marriage is a very surreal but sometimes rewarding experience. 💙
You are so welcome
Glad for this video. This made me feel better. Thank you.
Glad I could help
Wishing Marie a very happy birthday have a great time with her. You'd are great together so happy for you two
Thank you so much!
Absolutely I should not have anything to do with it If you're really happy with each other no matter what
I recently had major hernia surgery that required a large amount of mesh. It's been close to 8 weeks of recovery time. I spoke with my Physician about the healing time and any limitations I should still be careful with. I asked him about should I meet a nice boyfriend, what timeline should I be concerned with physically. When in doubt, ask your doctor.....they will tell you! 😊
Yep, I got dumped because my guy felt I deserved better. He put himself down a lot-chest hair(love it), bald head(love it) height(not a problem) any time he drops something while cooking at his restaurant he spazs, I tell him it’s not that serious-I always tried to counter with a positive to build him up, and tell him to lighten up. Final straw was when he forgot my birthday. I didn’t stress it, it was our first year together, and I didn’t remind him, he systematically deactivated over the next couple months, then out of the blue threw me a you deserve better text. Dude could’ve just DONE better! How do you get better in a relationship if you run anytime you make a misstep?? I’m trying to reengage so we can finally talk..treading lightly, he’s severely avoidant.
Ironically the one time I showed insecurity on my body image, he asked me to my face why I’m so insecure..I felt terrible. He apologized while heartedly, but that cemented that he’s a fearful avoidant. Can’t handle others insecurities although he lives in his. Oh and I own, he rents, I’m at 6 figures, he’s hustling to get his restaurant off the ground. I want to have my business starting, I look up to him, respect his drive, it’s so attractive to me, I told him over and over..guess it didn’t resonate
You may have an accurate read on him, but be wary. People have difficulty making negative comment. They don't mean to hurt. They don't want to feel ashamed of themselves. It can be an easy out to phrase a negative reaction in terms that flatter you. He can say, "You deserve better" when what he truly feels is "You aren't good enough for me" The false message can steer you in the wrong direction. If he truly feels he's not good enough, cutting yourself down to size might help. If his true feeling is the opposite, then self denigration only proves him right.
Since I’m only 5 feet , I’m fine with an average height man who is about 5’8.
Good to hear...
I feel the trust . Its one reason ive decided to try date him. Its been a month and a half . I feel secure. He also treats me well and makes me laugh .
But ive said i want to spend week apart & also he will be away for 2weeks after. Which will give us a month apart.
The emotional intimacy is what im trying to see how to build more together
Touch, quality time are our love languages and mine is also deep convos.
im trying to discover How do we communicate & english is not his first language . This is a first for me. It requires bit more work i find at mo coz i need to explain what i mean/i wonder if he gets it etc… im trying to see how we connect without touch.
The emotional part is v vital for me. Im going to try. And at mo hes confused & is supportive but likes the time & touch we had for the month & half. Ive explained to him my needs and the reasons
… i still think this distance is a good thing to try .for learning about eachother & if we can connect deeper far apart without touch.
If i find that the emotional connection isnt building whilst apart, i will continue to evaluate
After I reached 50, I realized that I like men with wrinkles, scars and love handles in all the right places.
Oh wow! 👍🏼
Agree. They are attractive and loveable.
Dad bods rule ok👍
Thanku for being honest I appreciate you Johnathon I listen to you at least 5 days a week lately …. gratitude 🙏 x
I appreciate that
I would like to donate to the foundation on behalf of your son Conner, if you can point me in the right direction I’d appreciate I’m not to sure how to do it I live in Australia so I’ll my best !! Thank you Johnathon 🙂
I’m definitely ordering the book Emotional Intimacy today !
It's excellent
I do not lie about my age because I do not like wasting time or wounding feelings, not mine or anyone else's. When I have any inkling that a man is interested, I work my age into the conversation. Age gap does matter and people need to sort out their priorities in the privacy and freedom of their own thoughts. You will lose a few that way, but it would have happened eventually and in such case, sooner is better than later.
I was told by a doctor friend that men's libido difficulties are more physical where a woman's lack of libido is because of mental. This says a while lot!
Emotional trauma can affect a man's libido
Jon you have many attributes- insecurities!! Do you have any Mr Good looking!!!!
I just realised I had attributes in the attraction by your list. I thought, oh I am blessed.
It could not take an hour to walk up- noooo
I do not have that issue. I chat to anyone and everyone. Some take this as a come on- unintentionally.
My boyfriend hates it.
I find people interesting so I ask
Many questions and both usually enjoy the interaction.
I just love you!!
You are rare. You are so loveable likeable so confident. I am extremely attracted to men with dark hair but not judgemental - it’s the heart in the person - kind, has empathy, speaks well and has integrity. X
I met someone that I'm crazy about --- my contractor, but I can't tell if he's interested. We have a lot of good conversation & bantering in the eve and he's even been taking me to church for the last month, BUT I CAN'T TELL IF HE'S REALLY INTERESTED.
He's introduced me to his son, his brother, shared lots of family photos, BUT other than church, he's never invited me to anything else.
I don't know what to think.
Apologies:" your BRILLIANT & AMASING video with Marie: " A Man's Ability to Commit is based on these 5 Factors"
Would have saved me much heartache
When 1st trying online dating 2 mths ago!
I'm Now Today so much better
Armed & prepared.
Before I had little to no Inner & outerboundaries ...
Being so needy
I let them rush me
Without ASKING Questions-
As ur video states: Questions are very important.
Thanks for your great 👍 channel.
Thanks for sharing!
Best to not filter photos or do anything (e.g. make-up, lighting, etc) to not be You. Keep it real and authentic. Aging is a privilege. ❤
This applies to all podcasters out there. 😊
I'm just owning my truth... yes, it's a privilege, and yet it doesn't make me bad for wanting to look younger. Btw, lighting is a necessity when shooting videos indoors.
One of my customers told me well he said.. why women want a real man when they have false nails, false eyelashes snd fake hair. nothing is real about them. Why do they want a real man? 😅
Interesting...
ED is a crazy issue. Jonathan this topic needs to be addressed.
I have been suffering from inside because every man feels they can't take care of me because am beutiful and they always say i will have alot of men asking me out and because of that no man is confident to approach me
Excellent !! A very necessary talk for everyone !! Thank you !!❣❣❣
You are so welcome
Liked that question about politics. But I do see there's an interconnection between politics and morals or ethics. All I can say is I am all about women and minorities so therefor I know I could not date anyone who wasn't in support of my sex or background. I would never introduce, someone in my tribe, who in non deserving. I am family oriented and I know it would not work for me.
Good points.. However, an honest politician is an oxymoron. All governments are corrupt in one way or another. Who monitors politicians? They all make mistakes. Government is machevalian.
Agree with Jonathan on extreme politics and being close minded. Many people don't fact check or do their research before voting.
Opposing political beliefs and or different ideologies on belief systems can be a definate dealbreaker.
Canada is a secular nation.
We are fortunate to live in the western hemisphere. It's safer The eastern hemisphere is in chaos by comparison.
I understand
I advise you go easier on your picture filters- I sometimes don’t recognize your videos bc your pic doesn’t look enough like you in the videos. You look fine exactly how you are!!
My eyes squint too much... ugh! 🙃
Summer as a fellow viewer I hadn't noticed that; actually I think they're good at grabbing attention so people watch the videos
😅 am so tired of looking at men my age thay don’t have any teeth for one reason or another. I’m so glad you brought it up.
That's sad 😔
I should be able to meet someone out of all those millions! I just need to know where to look 👀 !
I’m shrinking. My insecure with having Idiopathic Peripheral Neuropathy- which means I have no feeling in my feet. So I can’t wear heels. And, due to medications I gained unwanted weight. But I have do have positive attributes. I am likable, knowledgeable, and funny.
Sending love your way
Not easy to talk to someone you can’t mail down lol. He asked me if I was available to talk over 2 months ago..then kept canceling or ghosting. Then dumped me 🤷🏽♀️
OK tell anybody laugh, I stand 5 foot nine without heels on. When I wear them I’m about 5’11. I think this stems from the first young man I had a crush on in high school. I really like short guys, I find them extremely attractive. And my crush had to stand about 5 foot five but he had the most amazing smile I’ve ever seen and he was smart and funny. I also find Boldman attractive, I think my true attraction points are His smile, His intelligence, his ability to talk about a myriad of subjects. I dated a guy who is 7 foot, handsome, professional linebacker. After about a month absolutely no attraction just too tall.. and the abandonment issues were epic. We all have insecurities that’s normal and natural… as far as his money and provide for me. I’ve been doing that since I’ve been 20, I got this. Can you listen to me when I need to talk? Can you be a comfort when I am feeling down or confused. I wish more men would work on themselves gentlemen if you’re looking at any of these post, please read Jonathan‘s book self love. Oh and Robert R, if you’re still out there, I’m in love with you still. I just never had the nerve to tell you.😂😂❤
You have a gorgeous head of hair, Jonathon! And you are tall!
Hey gray hair can be sexy too 😍
Indeed
Thank you
Agree. A silver fox. Distinguished.
On men yes. Not so sure about us females.
@@JKNat9004 Hi Judy, I hope you're well. I'm a silver fox and love it!
Streaks of your natural combined with highlights look great as well. I had a Bundt cake hairstyle for a while.
Embrace aging. Let's live it up while we can! 🙏💥
When you list insecurities of men x it by three and you’ll get how much judgement women get by society. Older women have a much harder time losing weight. We’re born with more fat, less muscle mass, we lose at midlife most, or all of hormones that kept the metabolism, going. I have to ration everything I eat and work a laborious job and I still find shedding 2 lbs hard.
That must be hard... thanks for sharing.
Amen to that
Yes, men are threatened by my financial independence.
Q. If a woman has more money than a guy- does this intimidate men or just attracts them to share and want you for your money?
Yes
The effects of rejection are real
Unless you have always been overlooked by literally everyone in life m
And be forced to be hyper assertive to even exist and have a good quality of life
When choosing a partner due to this constant rejection
Such a person ends up just settling for whomever is actually interested in you and not necessarily a person you’re even interested in or would even want if you actually had a choice but of course you don’t
How’d you like to live like that ?
And I’m not but ugly either
I have a good personality and am pleasant to be around
Yet I was constantly overlooked and out of fear I married an older man who needed someone in his life since he’d been overlooked as well
It turned more into a business arrangement for 30 years and that’s when I could no longer force myself to stay with him and we divorced
I had met someone I actually liked but after I got divorced
The exact same thing they didn’t want me either even though they’d stuck around for years showing interest
But when I was finally available haha just more of the same for me like before
So glad I saved myself pain hiding out in an unloving shit show of a marriage shorting my time figuring out men only want to use me and never end up wanting me unless there is something wrong with them
Yes, the experience of feeling rejected is an opportunity to heal oneself.
But you are rare in height beliefs! Most are after 6ft and up to make them look better!
@@JonathonAslay I don’t necessarily agree
All the experience of being rejected
Since I was a small girl
All of this rejection over and over and over in all aspects of my life just makes me want to keep to myself because I’m tired of being hurt for just existing
Men can workout and give up beer. Beer gut is particularly unattractive. Height is not important. Intelligence, nice face and good shoulders are what counts.
I agree, healthy living helps
For me, as a tall woman (5'9), height is very important. But it's only because I'm tall and don't feel myself comfortable with shorter guy.
@@mariachaikivska1585 yes it looks strange if the man is shorter than the woman.
Jonathan regarding age there are two different kinds chronological and your spirit hope this helps initially saw this years ago on Dr. OZ
So how do you tell if he's shy and insecure or just not interested?
When you make an effort and he's still pulling away.
Dating someone witb a different religion, although both of us are mature emotionalky
That's okay
Discuss it with them, find out how closely they follow the theologies of their religion. Assume nothing. Religion can be a hot topic with couples.
@@JKNat9004 You bet. It can cause major conflicts. Same with different political ideologies.
@@sherriflemming3218 Ditto. I've lived through the religious difference argument. I know how serious and difficult it feels.
@@JKNat9004 Hi Judy, you bet it is.
Same here, and with different political ideologies.
Oh boy it causes problems doesn't it?
When someone is trying to convert you or expects you to change yourself to suit them. It's a no-win.
I've met some political extremists over the years, that participate in protests and riots. Civil disobedience.
Revolutionary types of people with causes they believe in. .
I want no participation in this antisocial behavior or to be involved with these people. . .
It's important to be with someone on the same page.
Q? on line date is wanting gift card, haven't known each other long
should I send him the card?
No... never.
What would be too big of an age difference between two people?
40 years?
No more than 7 to 10 years. Generational differences can cause big differences.
Look more at the life experiences, not calendar years. I met someone 16 yrs younger that I fully expected to simply be a friend. (I'm 49, he's 33). However, we're both parents and been through divorce. He has had the life experiences that make him sound incredibly wise and we're able to talk for hours! I've noticed he's emotionally open in a way that men I'd been meeting aren't. It's been refreshing to have my thoughts about age challenged.
@@sherriflemming3218 I agree.
@@JKNat9004 Hi Judy. I learned that through trial and error.
❤❤❤❤
Who is Lorraine in your life?
A friend
You do drag it out! Wow lost you but great topic…. Thanks for atleast caring
I try
Age insecurity,,not lovable because he is more older than you
I admire men, because they have a lot to put up with, first there mother, then there wife.
All humans put up with a alot...
😟
Add to the list, to put up with you too.
Of course. I agree.
I have alopecia. I’d like a reall man.,
Along this road of hell I've been going down...
I've been more and more curious about Jesus...
I want to intimately directly know him.
Can anyone help me?
I’m 43, I’ve been single my whole life.
Had some "situationships".
24 years worth of them, on and off, with several different men.
I’m at a point in my life where I feel so damn hopeless.
I’m always alone at functions, I've never brought anyone home,
never been on holiday with a guy...
Being told time is running out
by anyone and everyone around me,
is hurting me deeply...
And my life's been ABSOLUTE hell since February...
(I made him a better man and he didn't make me a better woman! 💯)
EXCRUCIATING DEBILITATING
TRAUMATIZING
EMOTIONAL PAIN.
Submerged in darkness.
Paralyzed with panic.
He raped my soul with the way he threw me away.
Absolutely raped my soul.
I MISS HIM
AND OUR CONNECTION
AND OUR CONVERSATIONS,
WITH ALL MY SOUL.
HE REPLACED ME.
Abandoned and betrayed.
Discarded like trash.
Grief consumes me.
I am traumatized and terrorized.
I have nobody, I'm all alone, and the suffering is immense and intense.
He - the man I called my best friend - gave me PTSD.
Severe PTSD. He left me in February. Discarded me like garbage.
The grief is unbearable.
He left me. Replaced me. My "best friend".
The only friend I had. The ultimate betrayal.
How the actual fuck could he do this to me?
We went from speaking every single day
about every damn thing,
and now we're strangers!
I AM TORMENTED AND TORTURED AND HAUNTED.
AND SO FUCKING DESPERATELY ALL ALONE.
The pain and the panic and the terror are truly unbearable.
A REMINDER ABOUT MEN'S INSECURITIES:
Men’s insecurities -
1. Body image - hair, waist size, teeth, height etc.
2. Rejection/abandonment
3. Financial comparisons - provider/protector (father issue)
4. Sexual performance and penis size
5. Not meeting your expectations (mother issue)
REMINDER TO SELF:
Focus on what you're moving on to,
not what you're moving on from! 💯
AFFIRMATIVE PRAYER:
I remove all unhealthy
attachments/thoughts/dynamics/beliefs
that have been blocking my divine path...
And I release all lower vibrational energies
that have been creating anxiety fear and depression!
I call back all my power! 🙏🏾
I HAVE LEARNED THE BELOW, ABOUT BEING A BETTER PARTNER,
AS I CALL/MAGNETIZE MY TWIN-FLAME TO ME:
1. Don’t question his love for you.
2. Be open and transparent.
3. Don’t let outside influences contaminate your relationship.
4. Not showing him appreciation (will kill him, and the relationship).
5. Don’t run from his love.
You know you are such a nice man, you have learned to gather and share so much, those of us who have found you are very lucky to listen to you. I truly hope more men discover you and become open to your wisdom.
Wow, thank you