Suicidal Doesn't Always Look Suicidal
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 มิ.ย. 2022
- These are the last videos of people who later took their own lives.
125 die by suicide every week in the UK. CALM exists to change this.
Find out how you can help save a life ➡️ bit.ly/3OqQhQx - บันเทิง
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If you see a depressed person unexpectedly happy, something is not right
Their friends: "Yay, they managed to get the right choice!"
Themselves: "Yay, I managed to get the right choice!"
Not always true
I suffer from depression and sometimes I am happy for no reason at all.
@@andreasullivan2419 they're referring to a suicidal person that has come to peace with their decision, having depression doesn't always equate to being suicidal
@@onserutiri4359 Thanks
I'm also referring to suicide.
I'm 53 and I've had suicidal ideation for a long time pretty much all my life.
Just barely a year ago I've come to peace with my decision to not go through it.
I still feel like I don't belong in this world but that doesn't mean that I want to kill myself.
I was able to beat depression. I had a serious eating disorder that took a serious toll on my mental health and my social life. I felt like I wasnt loved and that nothing would change if I were gone. My parents had no idea I felt like these, not even my siblings. I knew if I told them, they wouldn’t take me seriously. I felt so lonely and my thoughts were getting to me. One day, I decided that it was time, time to end it all and disappear and finally cure the pain. I thought of taking lots of my pills. But then, there was a voice in my head asking me if this was really the right decision. Did I really want this to be my fate? I thought about all the good moments in my life and it made me smiled. I know that what I would be doing would be selfish and that my parents wouldn’t be able to handle the death of their teen. I decided to give life a second chance and started going to therapy, working out, and even going to church and reading my bible daily. I wouldn’t say my life changed completely because I do still have bad thoughts about myself and how people view me, but I don’t let them get to me, not as much as before.
By the time you're suicidal, you've already learnt how to put up a mask and stuff. That's how it's so difficult to tell if someone is suicidal or not.
It's quite funny how a suicidal person could appear perfectly fine in front of everyone.
When in reality, it might take them a single, just one thing that would throw them back again in that state to end it all.
@@cannotlivewithoutrice yeah
You can always ask
@@Natalie-yg5rn it’s not that simple
Been trying since i was 13 (not very good at it guys) I haven't held a gun to my head for a record amount of time. Everything comes and goes. Bad emotions and thoughts and the sort. But it takes longer for something to come than go. Stay strong💪
My friend sent me a text message about 10 years ago. He wanted to hang out. So we went shopping just for fun. He paid me a bunch of stuff, food clothes etc. He wa smiling and happy. At first. He was " normal " but the same day at night he sent me a message saying that he loves me and he was very happy to be my friend and that he was sorry for what he was about to do. I knew something was not good. So a jumped in my car, i was riding so fast that I don't even know how I didn't crashed. I broke into his home and he was cuting his wrists. I saved him. He was very mad. He never said thank you and i never asked for. But now he has a daughter and everytime I go visit them he always says to his daughter "look that's my best friend the one who saved my life so many times"
I cried.
Lmao
Alas,he is saved
I cried , wish to have friend like you
I cried too that’s so sweet
Wanting to die, but being unable to fully go through with it because you know how it'll destroy those around you, is awful. Suffering life so others dont have to suffer without me is me living in my own personal hell.
This
my exact situation.
Someone actually put it into words 😕
@@sally_686 strangely enough, I am.
@@sally_686 I really appreciate that and am happy for you that things have gotten better. I'm still working on it over here. One day at a time.
Sadness is an emotion, Depression is a state of mind. You can be happy yet still suffer from depression.
You explained it perfectly
Sadness is seasonal, what remains is emptiness ... I understand this shit, we are here to transcend our hole into light
True
Can I use your sentence in my journal? I want to make two pages talking about depression and suicidal thoughts, cause it’s something that touches me more than anything, and I want to use the most beautiful quotes I’ve seen till now. I just want to know if I have your permission 💜
Depression is a state of mind, but most precisely a mental illness.
Anyway, you want it to go away most of the time.
It's horrible when you wanna talk to somebody and no one takes you seriously
talk to me
It’s worse when they listen and then leave you too
That's just exactly what's happening with me
I take days, months, maybe years to take the courage to tell people but when i do they just think I'm joking
I Talk To Myself Cause That’s The Only Mf Who Gives Af FOR REAL!!
It's bad when you have nobody to talk to at all. I hope you're ok. I've figured the pain of my bones hitting the ground will be fleeting compared to the pain every day. My eyes hurt from salty tears. There's nothing left.
"Thousands of geniuses live & die undiscovered either by themselves or by others"
- Mark Twain
The opposite to depression is self-expression. So when a depressed person isn't "acting" depressed, the person is self-expressing his/her light soul - when the person goes in a depression it's when the person isn't expressing him/herself. We all need to start to be kinder to each other and embrace happiness and kindness.
Great quote
😢😢😢
They always say to reach out to others. But they don’t mention that the people you reach out to will always think of you as crazy from there on.
✧The opposite of depression is self-expression✧
So when a person isn't depressed, the person is self-expressing his/her light soul - when the person goes in a depression it's when the person isn't expressing him/herself. We all need to start to be kinder to each other and embrace happiness, peace and kindness. It’s abuse and negativity that leads people in to depression.
No they don't. And if they do, who cares? People who are not depressed, don't care what others think.
Or they invalidate your feelings so you end up feeling more isolated than before
@@Muhluri Dude, nailed it. You know. “Cheer up” etc.
Bro see you know 😢
My father always said…
“Life isn’t fun without a struggle in it, but some struggles lead to tragic endings.”
Well no shit, was there supposed to be a meaningful point or lesson here?
@@zoraideale4046 pops gave em a reality check 😭
@@zoraideale4046 chill out lol
@@BG-pl1zx Pipe down cause I'm calm, I was just truth telling. He didn't tell us something we already know, well I guess can't speak for you huh? So you didn't know I assume.
@@zoraideale4046 You’re literally being argumentative for no reason. The guys talking about something his father told him that he obviously found inspiration from and he’s sharing that here. Yet you have to put him down like that and try to act all cocky. Grow up and have some compassion for your fellow man
The "These are the last videos of people who took their own lives" hits harder than you think
All the people with children hit the hardest for me. I'm grateful to God I'm even alive today to love and raise my son. I'd never want to leave him or his mom alone.
I got a cold chill from that, I wasn't expecting it
does anyone know who made this cover of Bring Me Sunshine? I've looked everywhere and can't find it
Yeah, these really devastate me to no end... 😢 I keep thinking of all the ways I could've saved them if I knew them
Life isn’t for ungrateful people lol
I think a lot of people don't realize that living with depression isn't "just a phase" and a lot of time, it doesn't just "go away." A lot of people learn to mask it or learn to harness it. Having it doesn't mean 24/7 sulking and LOOKING depressed all the time.
As a person who deals with major depressional issues myself, seeing this gets me a different type of way. These people search for joy in the tiniest things, and they could find it for a brief moment, but the depression still lingers
100% true. i can be over joyed with the smallest of things but still be struggling mentally.
There isn't one single day that I don't wish I was dead. Not one. 63 years of this shit.
I lost my oldest sister to suicide... my other sister and I struggled with depression when we were younger and had suicidal tendencies, but we would have never thought that our oldest was struggling far worse than us. Our oldest sister never talked about it / masked it so well, but she did so much good, helped save people's lives, (including my own,) and was always a woman of action when there was danger, so it was the last thing we'd expect to happen.
She passed on 10/07/22, and not a day has gone by where I don't think about her. She was my hero, and theres no doubt in my mind that she is my guardian angel now.
For anyone else who knows this pain; I'm glad that I'm not alone: But even more so, I'm sorry that you have to understand the pain... because I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
I was going into Veterinary, but I chose to work in psychiatric care to try to help others overcome things of that nature, somewhat as a coping mechanism, and I do my work in her memory.
Sorry for your loss
Un abbraccio ❤
@@LurenZ87 Grazie, sei apprezzato
It's funny how the ones who help the most are the ones who are also suffering the most😢someone can convince u not to commit suicide and that same person ends doing that same thing,it's heartbreaking, depression ain't a phase so they've probably had way more time to learn how to mask their sadness
@@LutherTheOne Don't ever be too selfless... Or else you'll lose yourself entirely. Just as I tell many of my patients who are struggling; it may not be okay right now, or tomorrow, but it will be. Persevere. If you owe it to anyone, you owe it to yourself the most.
"i don't want to be healed. i have a strong urge and desire to just disappear and never be seen again. and at this point, pain is sweet." yes, there are people who feel this way
Same things are going in my life as well I'm failing my college exams and the urge to kill myself is getting stronger day by day ...
Some people are just too broken to be healed
People who are really suffering want to be healed.
If someone say that he don't want, he 1- don't feel that bad, 2- is mad, 3- can't be healed
@jenkinsrower7380 I didn't want to waste people's time with my pain, I felt like it would be an inconvenience to my peers to ask for help, so I just didn't. I broke out of it last year, and genuinely smiling is a great feeling. Sometimes I just do it for no reason, besides being content. It can get better, and I knew that one day I might not regret leaving, and it came sooner than I expected
@@that_guy_standing5754 Trust me you don't waste anyones time
I often had that thought that I was a heavy weight for others if I would tell them of my feelings but it resulted that I got the deep bondings with some friends and not only those who could relate in some way.
Robin Williams is a pure example of how you can make others happy but be horribly depressed
Man was just doing his job...
he is a pure example of what doctors can do to you with medication, and careless prescriptions.
Just know that suicide leads to Hell Fire.
:(
Please people, repent before it is too late.
@@TedEhioghae you saying someone like Robin Williams is in hell now?
What happened, why he off himself?
I tried to take mine. I remember everyone around either called me weak, or my personal favorite, selfish.
It's been about 20 years now, married with 3 kids. The thought still pops up now and then. For no reason. The idea of the peace that comes with it. That it can finally be over. But my kids bring me back. Or at least the fear of where will they be if I leave them.
A few years into the marriage I told my wife. She called me selfish too. That was a blow. I understand what they mean. But it would be nice if they also tried to comprehend me.
I agree with you.
I know what they mean, but to say that about someone that's become that low...
There is no real good way to reply to any comment on this video by survivors.
Empathising and saying that at some point, you just want to be free, and it is really the notion of the grass being greener somewhere else, literally anywhere else but here and now and whatever future the here and now brings, would be abetment.
Saying it gets better is a lie.
Well, we live in an insane world. Therefore it's not insanity to want to end it all. In Switzerland you can have assisted suicide with your family being present. I can't imagine that to be tragic, because they make sure that the family understands the reasons.
If a relative suddenly jumps in front of a train there's no way for the family to say farewell and make their peace before the event. That's why criminalizing assisted suicide is a crime against humanity.
But since you've brought children into the world, it would make you selfish if you'd go through with it. They wouldn't be alive without you, so leaving them behind to just deal with it would be evil. The moment your kids are born you stop mattering as an individual. You only matter as a parent from then on. This world is cruel and unfair, so forcing children into existence without always putting them first is evil and selfish.
Your wife's response doesn't sound very mature though, because ignoring suicidal thoughts doesn't make them go away and having them doesn't make you selfish. Hiding them while dating and confronting your wife with them after she's already strongly attached to you would be selfish and manipulative.
Actually, not when they are born, but when a pregnancy is discovered.
So now I am selfish and manipulative. Thank you.
Let's be real no one really cares until its too late. Its easier to bring flowers to a funeral then help someone. Sad world we live in.
Boohoo
Sad but facts.
@@MaxthedespairI rest my case 😂
It's not that they don't care, but like suicidal people, most "normal" people are struggling to get though the daily business of living. It's hard out there. Jobs you hate. Coworkers you can't stand. The perpetual belief that it's all unfair. Going from one money problem to the other. We drink, we smoke, we f--k, we take drugs, and we lash out just to cope with it all. But people care about us. Life is hard on them too. Cut them a break, like we wish we would get.
True but sad
In 2012, I attempted to take my own life. I briefly left this world, and a team of paramedics determined to bring me back. I am now ten years into an EMS career, three of those years as a paramedic. Two strangers cared about me not because it was their job, but because I didn't deserve to die. So take it from me, a stranger, you don't deserve that either. I don't have to know you to say I care about you, and I need you here on this planet with me for a while longer.
What do you mean you "left this world"?
@@rrl9786 I am pretty sure they mean their heart stopped. Clinical death. But they were resuscitated.
❤
What did it feel like when you “left this world” did you see or hear anything?
Thank you Dashi. your words have landed, not today
you can fake a smile, but you can't fake sad eyes
Yeah, the thing is I could already read everyone’s eyes. Depression is easily noticeable for those who can read people well. I can tell when someone’s hurting or not.
That's untrue. The person with the happiest eyes I knew died yesterday due to suicide. I wasn't just not smart enough to notice, everyone knew she was struggling but CPS and the school refused to intervene with the bullying and abuse she was going through daily. Now she's gone. But don't say bullshit like this as if it's fact. Your just gonna lead people to say bullshit like "their lying because they have happy eyes," and guess what, PEOPLE DID SAY SHIT LIKE THIS TO HER SO SHE STOPPED ASKING FOR HELP.
@@babycakelingsI believe you are misinterpreting the comment. The comment is basically saying, you can fake being happy, but you can’t fake being depressed. Which supports the point you are making in your comment, people can look happy but still be struggling and depressed.
Yes this is true I suffered for 4 yrs with depression and nobody knew iam still suffering even after losing my brother it hurts when you feel like you have no one and your by yourself so you feel like why bother to even be here when no one cares that’s where iam it’s very empty and a dark cloud hanging over my head I’m tired of talking and no one hears me 😢😢
Isittrue😟
I'm sorry Jeremy. And I'm sorry to anyone reading this who's struggling. You might not care to hear it from me, but I'm proud of you for still being here, and I believe with every part of me that it will get better.
Боже , исцели всех от дьявольских мыслей саможаления!
i feel so low nowadays as i have wasted a year of my life and not studied i try to smile but my smile is not natural i am literally crying while writing this
dont worry i have got these thoughts so many times but i am not the one who quits as when i remember the pain of my parents that what they have done for me i feel blessed
and its okay to fail a couple of exams , you will be scolded the society will make fun of you but your parents will be there for you so please live for your parents
The biggest winners were also the biggest loosers. Michael Jordan has a video about the fails he had and how they were important to him to the GOAT of basketball. It's ok to fail everything will be alright, just keep pushing and you will grt the porsche in the end. Stay tight buddy, keep trying and value the things you own in life
What people often don’t understand about suicide is that when someone has been depressed for a very long time and they finally make the decision, they finally start to feel peace and calmness because they know that the pain and suffering will end, so if you know someone who has been under the weather for a very long time and all of a sudden one day they’re in a really good mood, that’s not just a sign, that’s a whole siren because that probably means the decision has been made
Edit: the amount of stories in the replies about how you guys had loved ones that committed suicide is heartbreaking, I am so sorry to all of you that have experienced such horrible losses and to all the people who have taken their own lives, may you at least Rest In Peace
very true 👍
How are you doing?
@@the.seagull.35 I’m fine, I’m not suicidal I just wanted to share this info
@@phantom_wolf5274DO IT
Just like with physical illnesses. Often, shortly before death, a person feels better. The body throws away the remaining reserves.
@@YasnaKo yeah it essentially means your immune system gave up trying to fight it
People might misunderstand and think those weren’t genuine moments of joy but they very well could have been. You can be suicidal and still have happy moments.
Depression doesn’t necessarily negate other emotions such as happiness, but rather negative things such as extreme low self esteem and self hatred become overpowering. Obviously there’s also the biological side which explains it (which still is hundred percent as there has to be more to it than we know), but low serotonin levels doesn’t mean there can’t be moments of high serotonin levels.
Depression, just like anything mental health issue is extremely complex which we still don’t understand fully
@@pian-0g445 indeed
Some people kill themselves in a impulsive moment.
Every single tiny moment of happiness is lived as if it were even more meaningful than what it really is, just cause what is regular to everybody, is precious to those who lack of it.
@@lunaoliveira8771 Statistically, men are more likely to do it impulsively than women are; this video seems to reflect that, as it appears that there are mostly men in this video. I don't know if that has to do a cultural pressure for men to hide feelings, or what. For those in the U.S., 988 is coming up, a phone help line for people having a hard time with their mental health.
I don't know these people yet I feel so sad they're not with us today... wherever they may be now, I hope these good souls are in a happier place.
They are resting in the eternal void of nothingness. That’s where I’d be too if it weren’t for my dad.
The topic of suicide is something that will always make me cry. They just didn’t deserve it
people who are suicidal often feel trapped, so having suicide as an “option” brings a sense of comfort. that’s why many people seem to be suddenly really happy the day/s before their suicide/attempt.
💯
This is the absolute truth of it that people don’t understand. This is absolutely truth.
They wanna live life happily one last time before finally submitting 🥺
Shits always seemed like an out for me. Ive never heard Anyone else say it like that. But it is like that, kinda like a last resort, but saving it for when u really need it. I'm 32 and been thinking of suicide 90% of days since I was prob 14. It dont discriminate. Some the most seemingly well put together or seemingly doing in life , physically, financially and mentally, people I ever met killed themselves. My step brother was 24, smart AF making like $170,000 a year (legally) had multiple degrees, well spoken , held his head high. Made eye contact etc. He Shot himself in the head one night...
Another, My best friend since grade school, was 26 when he took a twelve gauge under his chin and pulled trigger. This was after he joined the US marines, infantry, he did like 3-4 tours, when he came back he was much more quiet, more serious, would randomly throw up, wouldn't sleep unless I or someone was awake, he wouldn't sleep without his boots on and laced, side arm with him. When he drove, same, but with loaded shotgun in the back seat. He'd never talk about what they did over there besides guard poppy fields, only spoke of killing random wild dogs because they were vicious and would bark at them, spoke of combat and shootouts but only when asked and never about anyone being I injured. He did mention after his last tour, that out of his 12-13 man group, almost half of them committed suicide before he did, and he was only home maybe a year lil more.. many of them got hooked on opiates while they were over there because local children would often come up to them trying to trade opium or smokable heroin in exchange for food and water or what ever .. He told me they thought it (opiates) made it easier for them to relax and do or deal with whatever they had to do or already done .
Anyway back to point, these were people I looked up to, and were strong, go getters. Never would have thought theyd take their own lives, considering how strong they seemed. ..
Peace and prosperity to those deserving!!!
@@gateauxq4604 yep. unfortunately it’s only something you can really understand if you are/were suicidal.
It’s insane how much pain can be hidden behind something as simple as a smile
@@abhijitsaha9373bruh
@@abhijitsaha9373 no
@@miyo918 😂
@@abhijitsaha9373no
@@abhijitsaha9373 how can I help you??
I’m so miserable. I can’t even wake up without feeling hopeless. I don’t know what to do anymore. Therapy gets me no where. Prayer gets me no where. I’m so sick of feeling empty all the time.
Hey lemme know if u can talk do u use discord?
🥹🥲 that's sucks ... Hope we can talk do u use discord or something
How u will feel better ❤ idk if u gonna read it or no
@@ROOGHZ. you are very kind. Thank you for being a nice human ❤️
❤️hope u will overcome it @@ViviSoren
One of my classmates acted similar to this before she unalived herself. I was one of the last to see her alive and I wish I had done something. I still remember her face all these years.
I know what that feels like. It's not a bad thing. She's still with you in spirit
“People don’t commit suicide because they want to die, they just want the pain to end”
-A quote by someone I found on another suicide related video.
💔yea
Depression and suicide are not the same for everyone, it is sad to know that for many dying is the solution but they want to live, but there are also people who do want to die, who genuinely do, and this is even more devastating because it is more difficult to combat.
Ahh yeah, i saw that too,, hit like a rock
But the pain will just be beginning when they sent to hell cause suicide is a sin
@@Slimegang5 bible/quran quote?
The last few days before my dad took his own life, he appeared so happy. He smiled, laughed, played with us, took us out to more restaurants and then suddenly he was just gone.
💔 very sorry to hear... man that would be so hard. I hope you're doing all right
@@the.seagull.35 thank you Danny. I was a teenager when it happened. I still miss my old man.
I have a friend name Danny🙂😃
@@Omocoldest You can tell him its the best name there is
I’m deeply sorry ): . I hope his soul is at rest now. And I hope you and your family are healing well. One day at a time ❤️🩹
Tbh, i’m almost there too. But it’s just life i guess. The pain you, the pain you feel inside is just soooo painful i just can’t describe it. Saddest part is that people like this always life a sad lonely life and get forgotten about because most of us are “nobodies” who come from a sad background. Man oh man life can be cruel.
And btw, please spare me your positive replies because i won’t respond to it
I completely agree with you, Samo.
When someone has been suffering like you have been for so long, the last thing you need is for somebody spouting off about positivity.
I would guess It just makes you feel worse.
Maybe you just want to be really heard, understood and accepted for all the pain you're in.
Without trying to change where you are right now.
I don't mind at all taking some of your suffering and placing it on my shoulders for awhile.
It is not a burden.
As the song goes "You ain't heavy ... you're my brother."
The night before my friend attempted suicide we played games together for hours. When he left, I was so happy and excited to play again the next day. I wasn’t expecting it at all.
💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
Вы бы еще кололись накануне😂
My mom , she's the reason I still wake up everyday .
I can't imagine the pain it'll cause her .
For her I'll endure this
This made me tear up out of all the comments. I understand you completely. Our mommas need us, and our children, at least my son, but I could never allow my momma to live with the pain if I ever did that to her.
What will you do after your mom pass away? Will you still want to continue living or die
Endure for your own sake, you deserve a long, joyful and fulfilling life. I hope you find the way back into the light.
proud of you. stick around for us
I know how you feel. I won't try to cheer you up with a comment because I don't know if a comment would help. I'm there with you, also staying here but without a reason. Something I find funny is how people say we all suffer in life. But you see them experiencing it way easier than you. If it's of any consolation, life is harder for some of us than for others
_All it takes is a beautiful fake smile to hide an injured soul and they will never notice how broken you really are._
- Robin Williams
Very true and very sad. That saying is actually on my "About" Watts app comment.
Been wearing that fake smile for a very long time now.
You can still have good times and have fun when your depressed
@@Primex_01 I know the feeling, keep trying mate. All the best.
Jesus loves you. You are worthy of love, if you do not want your life, give it to Jesus. Please stay, I love you.
Lost my friend to suicide a bit over 7 years ago in high school and this is exactly how she was when I knew her. On the outside. I ever since promised myself to always always always try to talk and help someone in that position. Whoever this person is looks like a great person❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ rest in peace. rest in peace as well best friend
You are a good person
Спасибо, что вы написали, что у вас все таки есть сердце, некоторые здесь пишут, что их брат как заведенный играл 6 месяцев подряд чтобы не чувствовать себя, реальность, потому что перестал жить так, как жил до аварии, а он не сказал ему на это ничего и удивился и расстроился, когда тот покончил с собой🙈🙈🙈
Спаси вас Господь за неравнодушие!
Imagine wanting to live but being forced to die.
Now imagine wanting to die but being forced to live.
My brother started to play video games all day long for the last 6 months before he took his own life and he was always playing the same game. One day when I asked him " are you not bored doing the same thing over and over again?" He said "it's not that I'm enjoying this but at least I'm not self aware when I'm doing this" he was crippled in a car accident and couldn't accept living a life he never thought he would. I miss him so much
im sorry for your loss. Car accidents are so hard. Its been over 10 years since mine but im grappling struggles that started that day (driving being scary, hard to get around). A handicap can really set you aside in life, then everyone says they have to go to fast to even think about you coming along. Its really lonesome & feels like a deadend. I wish I could tell him (or anyone in a similar position):
Youre not alone in how you feel. Youre not too damaged to find healing. Youre worth it.
what game did he keep playing?
@@jasonvoorhees5640 THAT's what you took away from this? smh
damn. that quote perfectly describes me. "it's not that I'm enjoying this but at least I'm not self aware when I'm doing this" when i listen to music, try on the rare occasions to play a video games again, movie, show, exercise, its all the same. I'm just waiting for the end.
@@treesaretough I appreciate your kind words please never give up you're the only one that matters don't you ever forget that
The thing with suicide is, as soon as someone says they want to end their own life wether it be in a moment of depression, a moment of stress or even in a moment of emotional exhaustion, that statement should tell you that you need to stand by that person and keep them going, no matter what the context, always take the threat seriously.
The thing is, people who say they want to commit suicide are the ones that never go through with it. Most often it's the people who won't admit it and seem relatively happy in their life. And that's the saddest thing about this.
Really hard to do when a person starts abusing the attention he/she gets by saying that. Seen it happen many times and it makes me so mad... but you can never be certain that they're doing it for attention. Which is the worst form of emotional manipulation.
@@Blugharm yea true, I hid it always, I made a plan when and how I'm gonna end it all and the day came , but I failed cutting open my wrist with my veins, I still have the sign
Suicidal people don't usually say it, because they don't want people to intervene, normally the people who say that are the one craving atention and in most cases don't have the guts to take their own lives.
@@freddo9682 There's nothing courageous about taking your own life. It doesn't take "guts". Sometimes people express their desire to die because we ride a constant wave. Sometimes we're up, sometimes we're down. When we're lucky enough to have another up, we want those closest to us to know that we can't guarantee that our next down won't be the last and that we're not sure we'd have the strength to pull ourselves out the next time. Think before you speak.
This brought a tear to my eye, depression is a thing i have battled for years, you put on a brave face around your friends and family, pretend everything is ok, but in reality you're broken and you can't handle everyday life.. RIP to all the people in this video 🙏😢
I didn't ask, nor do I care
@Killertails69. W comment
People who have never been through it will never understand these feelings
💯
Я не была на грани самоубийства, но я чертовски хорошо понимаю, о чем здесь все говорят.
Одиночество- дерьмовая вещь.
Ты не знаешь себя, ты не понимаешь, кто ты и что у тебя есть миссия.
Ты жалеешь себя и очень незаметно доходишь до дьявольских мыслей.
Увы, некоторые не успевают подумать что-то, что уничтожило бы эти мысли, а между тем, с ними нужно борьбу не на жизнь а на смерть, с этими мыслями.
@@marinaburikina5939 we are clearly speaking English, and here you come with some unknown language🤣😂
@@budgonstopCANELO and why TH-cam had created the Translate button here? 🤷♀️
Been depressed/suicidal for a long, long time (20+ years). Only thing stopping me is knowing that it would destroy my loved ones. I could never do it.
I’m sure they love you a ton and their lives would be hell without you in it. Don’t just stay for them but stay for the random people like me who read this comment. I know it probably doesn’t mean much coming from a stranger but your life does matter. I know it might feel like you’re going through hell right now but even if it’s a cheesy thing to say, it does get better. I believe in you.
Keep your head up! I hope you find peace. ❤✌
The loved ones not getting hurt is my top reason as well, with the second one (and the cause for the first) being the need to leave the world a better place before leaving it, but oh, it is so hard to see the validity of said reasons on some days.
My husband killed himself. And yes, it destroys everybody who ever loved you.
Suicide does not end pain. It increases it exponentially and transfers it to the people who loved you
You are worth it. Love yourself
Had a student commit suicide. Leafing up to the time, she seemed happy and calm because she had already decided what she was going to do. So the last week was one of relief for her. Afterward, we were all, of course in shock. This was 19 years ago. I have not gotten over it. I know her family and classmates will forever be affected by our loss.
May she rest in peace ❤
Unforeseen things haunts me.
19 years ago damn
lmao you are fk weak if you sucidal i went from home abuse straght to my first psychosis but idgaf now i have fk greek god body heading into psychward for resocialization and i still dont have bad thoughts in my head just becouse i know i will menage just keep your head up and fight dont forfeit your biggest blessing that you could breath
As a former suicidal person, I can tell you on one sense to respect what that person wanted and be at peace with it. It is what that person wanted at that time. I went through this myself, you mentally check out- your done, like a hotel sign out checkout 11am. In my experience, nothing could have changed my mind. I cannot fully explain it, it's suffering, it's numbing, I was screaming and in pain on the inside and nothing could make me happy? As hard as it would of been to my family honestly I wouldn't of cared because that was- what I wanted. It was a peaceful, comforting decision really. I tried to od on pills and somehow survived. The only bit of advice and I know it will come off as aweful but I speak from my experience, is to respect the wishes that person wanted, unfortunately I know how that person felt, and nothing would of changed my mind. In my experience, I viewed it at that past time was that this was a sole based decision I wanted to do. I was set out on a mission and nobody was or could stop me. That was my former mindset. Somehow I survived and thought how am I alive? I think I see it differently because I experienced what it was like to feel that way and oddly , I don't know why, it was a peaceful, comforting decision. It was sad, but I made peace with the outcome. I'm not sure why I survived, but I wanted to shed light on my experience to try to have a better understanding ❤ in my experience, there wasn't anything anyone could have done, mentally I was checked out. You suffer on the inside for so long in silence. People say they care but shelf off . It's very important for anyone reading to build a social network. It's people around you that will pick you up when you fall. Or advice, knowledge and guidance. It's important to have a social life, if you dont have one- form one by any means possible. It's human nature to want interaction and acceptance and guidance. I was so lonely I truly was suffering. Some people maynot even realize what that's like. But I do. It's important to have a social circle , by any means even if it's just talking to strangers and making it routine to say goodmorning to the local cashier and ask how's your day, or have a good day, join a chat group and find some regulars to talk to because sometimes any interaction is better than no interaction. ❤
Please, anyone out there. I see you. Do not let depression or any mental health condition lie to you. That is what it wants. You are beautiful in every way, you are worth it more than you know, and you will ALWAYS be stronger than any challenges you face. Never give up. I know it can be hard, but life is not going to mess with a badass person who is full of resiliency and perseverance such as yourself. You are NEVER alone. I love you. I really do. Sending you a gentle loving hug.🩷.
Why are you telling them lies?
Thank you
@@amina-pr8xt You’re welcome.🙏🏽
I've always liked this quote "People don't want to die they just want to start living "
omg, so deep...
But when they cant...
yeah, that’s sad
Nah, the void of the afterlife sounds better, imagine it. Nothing, just pure nothing, no one, no worries no feelings, just so much nothing that even you are nothing, the worries of life are gone and the daily life struggles that everyone says are so satisfying to over come, but only bothers you no matter how you handle it, are gone.
Pure bliss, none existence is true heaven.
Whose quote is this?
My sister just took her own life. It's been three days. I feel numb. I wish I could have talked to her one last time. It's heartbreaking.
💔💔💔 I felt it just reading this post. Man it has to hurt so much.
If you need someone to talk to don't hesitate to reach out. I'm here for you
So sori for u & her🤝🖐️
I'm so sorry, for your lost, My respects to your sister, I'm sorry you have to go through this, please try and stay strong.
I don't know who you are, I don't know where you live but I want you to know, from a total stranger to a total stranger, my heart goes to you, It's okay to feel how you feel, and I sincerely hope you can find some semblance of peace, whenever you are ready for it.
Do take care.
having a sister and reading this, my heart breaks in two 💔
Thanks for remembering this beautiful people ❤
R u fine?
Having severe depression/anxiety is like being terrified and exhausted at the same time. It’s the fear of failure, coupled with no urge to be productive. It’s wanting friends but hating socializing. It’s wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely. It’s feeling everything bad at once, yet being paralyzingly numb to anything good. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
hey are you ok?
@@eva-ov8sp You know Eva...I think it will always be a fight. I haven't experienced full blown suicidal ideation in quite some time - thank goodness, because it's absolutely horrendous - but that shadow is just always there, lurking, you know...? But thank you so much for asking. That you did that in itself sets you apart. ❤
You described perfectly, I don't even remember who I was back in the day..
@@renatomiranda1211 you ok?
It's just bad that i'm not alone with this kind of feelings
Hearing my son confess his level of depression to me hit like a ton of bricks. He always seemed so happy. He confessed having bad thoughts. I went from not wanting to bother my adult child by calling and stopping by to see him to now calling him multiple times a day and doing things together. We have dinner once a week on Sundays now. We both realized how hard life was for each other and are making a commitment to be there for each other like never before. Him and my daughter are my whole world. When they became adults and moved out i was crushed. I am dealing with it better now. One day at a time. We need more open discussions when it comes to mental health and depression. I felt so alone. I know I'm not.
Thank you to everyone for the kind words. Reading through replies made me both happy and sad at same time. This life sure can be hard sometimes.
My son lost a good friend a few days ago to suicide. A friend he has had for many years. A friend he had no idea was having such a hard time with life. Be kind to everyone. You don't know what thoughts are running through their heads.
omg that really made me tear up😢😢 wish my dad were like you they’re so lucky to have such a caring dad. Wish you guys a blessed life
I do underst
and. I have 5 children but still when my oldest moved out i was crushed too and cried alot. She does alot with her bf and his family now and i have come to just let her be. I should draw closer to jer too but i seem to always say something she takes the wrong way and gets upset amd says i make her cry. It really breaks my heart cause i love her so much but i dont know what to do.
you are a good parent! not even most parents put in the effort of their loved ones when they hear news but i’m glad you did. don’t ever give up cause you are wanted, needed and loved
You sound like an awesome parent. Blessings to you. 💖
God bless you all!
I really hope I'd be able to watch this video again, have truly hit the rock bottom in my life
Some people put on a cheerful front so as not to burden others. I do it. Good luck to all those fighting the invisible conditions like depression. You aren’t alone. 🖤
What I find very sad about suicide is how a lot of people become really happy right before they do it. It's like they have already died and are just waiting to pass over. The sadness completely leaves them once they decide to do it, because they now feel empowered and feel like they now have control on when the pain ends. I've just always found that to be the most troubling is that bout of happiness right before they kill themselves. The people that have quietly been worrying about the person sees this happiness and is relieved that thier loved one finally seems to be coming out of their depression, but is then hit with the earth shattering suicide.
It's like how a person that is dying in the hospice seems to come alive and are full of energy right before they die. They'll be in a coma state and suddenly wake up and start talking to everyone in an alert and excited manner and then falls over dead. Life is strange as is death.
Life is hard sometimes, it sucks...
Interesting phenomenon.
This felt very similar to terminal lucidity in people with dementia or Alzheimer’s. They cant remember even the names of their loved ones for years, yet a few hours or days before their death they can recall memories and recognize people. Kinda like bliss.
@@kerbeezzz Everyone I've ever know that was old and dying always saw people in the room that no one else could see. It's weird, but I always think of that being their guardian angels.
Life is shit
"Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always."
Rest in peace!
wonder
So glad I found this video, save my life and made me think of my love ones
When you’re suicidal and nobody knows and they keep hurting you over and over again🙂💔
If they keep hurting you over and over again you gotta get away from those people.
Owner of a lonely heart
(So much better than the) owner of a broken heart.
I can deal with loneliness. I can fill that void, control it, on my own.
It takes so much more energy to overcome abuse and disappointment. I just want to hide from people 99% of the time. I don't even want to see my doctors.
Just someone rubbing my back brings me overwhelming joy. Then I'm abused by someone else and it all comes crashing down.
Меня спасает в этом случае только Бог, который знает , для чего я, почему я, и что я должна потерпеть , чтобы понять, зачем нужно было так страдать. Держусь 37 лет.
I've called the hotline nine times. Told family about it. Finally after three years and six months of extreme gratitude focus (I've said thank you probably ten thousand times... literally...), I pulled myself out of it. I'm one of these smiley people myself, and yeah, I get what these people were feeling.
Good for you bro 🙂
Being a Christian helps its literally the only reason im around
@@basedbroskiworldlol what bullshit being associated with any religion is pure bullsh!t
@@pipipupu5104 if a religion helped them through hard times why try to take that away from them and calling it bullshit?
@@basedbroskiworldgot back into church earlier this year. Been fighting suicidal thoughts, depression, and a few other issues, since 2014 when I was discharged from the Navy. I decided to try some churches again, because I was feeling utterly hopeless and I knew what that was gonna mean. Used drugs and alcohol for years, to just keep making it another day. Now, I'm in church, getting clean, volunteering again, and trying to help encourage others. It'll still be hard but at least we have hope.
Oftentimes people say "I wish I saw the signs"/"why did no one see the signs" but often underestimate just how good people can mask their pain, there's some people you'd never in a million years suspect anything was wrong with until it's too late. It's so tragic and a reminder that mental health seriously needs more focus and the help needs to be more accessible because being in that headspace is something I'd wish on no one. This video is so heartbreaking seeing all these people smiling and happy knowing that they were in so much pain. I hope they're happy now. ❤️
They didn't know inside we're dying
And attention who's that fake mental health issues for clout discredit the ppl that really needs help
🥺🥺🥺
I assure you, they were happy "knowing they were going"! Sticking around for others, so others won't hurt, so others won't feel guilty. It's sheer torture. When it's all finally too much, you know you gonna go, then you can breathe, be happy and enjoy. I made a small mistake and didn't get to the other side. I found microdosing and I LOVE life!! Too odd for me to say, but it's true. I was irreparable. After I messed up my final exit, truly by accident, I happened upon a video about microdosing and it saved my life. Tell anyone you think might be depressed or PTSD to look into it. I wish all in the video found it. I'll be sure they went out happy though, I certainly was until I knew I had messed up once again. Really, how can one F.U. the final exit? I did.
I am just don't know who to open up to because i am the class clown and i am always telling joke and people think i am always having fun.. while inside i am dying of depression and i just don't know what to do with my life.. when i show up with a cut on my arm, i always tell a overdramatic story and people don't think much of it.. but those are the cut that i did to myself and is just that no one around me will see me as i am, i don't want to laugh and tell jokes. I want it to end.. every night i cry and cry and every night i am looking forward to it, the thing is if i tell this to my friends they will think is some kind of joke. They won't believe and i am just lost and empty, i don't want love.. i want it to end
Im so tired of been tired for so long im tired of no one caring enough to help. I know i got my self in some of these problems but im trapped im sorry i was blind i dont want to do this. I cant keep living for everyone else and my fear of letting them down. I am desperate to give up.
It's the thoughtfulness that makes it so hard to bear, so we act like we don't care...
Lost my best mate to suicide 24 years ago when we were both 23.
Had no idea he was struggling, not always easy to spot the signs if they’re not there.
Funniest bloke I knew and we were out together the night he found the courage to do what I guess he felt he had to do.
Rest easy Dean Kerry.
I miss you and wish I could’ve helped.
Rest in peace, Dean Kerry.
Have a good rest Dean Kerry
So sorry to hear that man, i feel like the way you’re describing your friend is how people who know me would describe me. I am 23 next month and nobody knows anything. I’m just a strong pillar everybody looks up to. I feel like it’s a taboo and people tend to ignore it when they experience it firsthand. I owe my life to a lot if my people i won’t do anything of that sort but i live like i have done it already
Rest in peace, Dean Kerry. I love you.
:((
“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”
- Brad Meltzer
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16.
@@spicydramarama852 I struggle to see the connection between this scripture and the Brad Meltzer quote (genuinely). Love != kindness, but being truly loving might lead you to kindness (maybe). And giving your son as a sacrifice out of love seems unrelated to being kind to a stranger who is having an internal battle of the mind. Also being God being loving or kind feels far removed from the struggles of us mere mortals being loving or kind to others. I'm not trying to be difficult - but the connection seems tenuous at best.
@@sugarshane1985 Good catch, seems to be Brad Meltzer 's quote
@@gregdee5548 Good to know. I edited the original comment.
That's something good to go by. I know not everything is rainbows and sunshine so I try not to be a jerk. Actually like helping people.
Depressed people like myself often try to convince ourselves we are happy/having a good time in order to come out of depression. My mother always says to me to try and not think about being depressed and just try to enjoy the moment. And thats what leads to this I believe, they are looking happy. Its hard to get rid of depression it comes sneaking up on you sometimes for no reason at all.
Watching realizing that soon I’ll be one of them too, I will rest forever from my pain Amen
Sending my condolences. It's not easy. Depression, anxiety, disorders. They're real 🥺💜
Yeah, no understands mental health, not even close relatives or friends it's frustrating 😣
@@HUYI1 it's true, I've dealt with depression and anxiety, I even have OCD and it infuriates me when people say "how you you depressed? Go take a walk or go see a movie"....WTF? Those very fortunate people that don't have any disorder or illness, just don't understand and it needs to be more talked about 🥺💜
yes, but the depression rate is alot higher in past 20 years? wonder what that could be...
ive got is all, and its all at its worse
@@4r1mAS there's a million factors. Pressure at school to be beautiful, rich and popular in teens/adolescents, social media and bullying, pressure to make more money and provide to your family, homelessness, drugs and the withdrawals, anxeity/depression that comes with it after getting clean, trying to stay clean...I could go on and on..
Sometimes some people with depression just enjoy the present because they know there is no future for them.
True
Lmao
😐
stimfap addiction be like 😂😂
@@YouHaveBeanTrolled Clever name and retort. I have been defeated. Cancelling the internet now for I am humiliated..
This makes me cry so hard. I hope these people in heaven know how much they were loved, and how those special people in their lives will miss them. It's crazy to think when I almost took my own life (survived) people would only have a video from years back, because I never let people take pictures or videos of me.
My heart truly, absolutely, and positively goes out to every one of these people who have unfortunately left us, because they felt that was their only way out, and anybody out here right now that feels this way, I pray for you and hope that you can find solace in some type of peace, you are loved more than you know, please send me a message or somebody you know if you ever need to talk or need help nobody should have to feel as helpless as they do❤
It's hard because most of us didn't choose to feel damaged. We had that stripped from us through unsolicited life experiences. You grow into an adult expecting to be able to carry all that weight and the weight of others. Sometimes that weight feels too much.
I say this as someone who has dealt with suicidal ideation since I was 8 due to trauma. Not a day goes by that I don't wish it would stop. But I love life truly and try to make the best of it. I fully understand when others have had enough and I don't judge them.
But unless you've felt like this I don't quite think you get it. When there's certain days if you just didn't wake up you could ignore the pain. That's the sad reward for death.
Well said
@Fritz White Unless you have a mental illness or unresolved trauma, you have no right to speak. No, not everyone goes through that. Shut the hell up.
@@FritzDWhite bitch, what?
Hey bro, just know that you are loved and you matter, regardless of your traumas and life experiences.
Also, I want to kindly recommend you to five David Goggins a listen on youtube, after that buy his book. You are going to change so much that trauma will mean nothing to you. I believe in you brother.
Dude, I fkn lost it reading this.
Perfect description.
All I can say is hang in there. You only get one shot at life. The odds of being born are 1 in 400 TRILLION.
Remember that.
This hit me right in the chest. I know exactly how these beautiful people were feeling and I struggle everyday. We need to talk more 🖤
Your in my thoughts and prayers. Wishing you a beautiful day! Hugs
C.J.S you are in my thoughts.
I send you oodles of love. 🌹
How do you know these people are really dead?
Jesus loves you. You are worthy of love, if you do not want your life, give it to Jesus. Please stay, I love you.
The paradox is the feeling of loneliness and despair we have yet we are legion.
This is The most truthful videos I've ever seen.❤
It’s not gonna be much longer. I understand you guys. I’ll be there soon
I don't know what your going through but just think of the people around you and the devastation that will cause them
You are loved, you may not see it. Or feel it right now, but here's YOUR sigh, if you asked God for one. Please stay. The future you will be so thankful. I promise ❤
I lost my brother to suicide 4 years ago. It still feels like yesterday. I’m still in counseling and healing from it. Thank you for posting
man I'm really sorry to hear that.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Sorry to hear that
May God comfort your heart
I’ve joined your path my man, lost mine too, much love from one self brother to another
I remember talking to my mom about feeling suicidal. She made the conversation about herself and complained about my father. She wound up crying about her own problems and I ended up comforting her.
Gotta love being raised by a narcissist.
I'm sorry, hope you find the help you need.
Same, that is very close to what I experienced. Actually 1:1. Except that I got screamed at and told to "go to my father" (who lives divorced from her)
well, you can't help someone if you're filled by trouble yourself :)
@@HUEHUEUHEPony you can, I've tried, not to mention that the troubles of these non suicidal people are not even comparable oftentimes.
Maybe your mom is depressed and you’re the narcissist…. Maybe she needs that comfort as well.
Not everything is about you either bro. Put yourself in her shoes
It's sad to see the little infants are so happy playing with loved ones, but they did'nt know its may the last time.
I‘ve been living with Depression for almost 12 years now and have been at this point 2 times now but even i probably couldn’t tell if someone is Suicidal or not. It’s so sad that so many people go around with these kinds of thoughts, unnoticed, unheard, without help…
My dad died by suicide on Thanksgiving Day.It was absolutely shocking and he was always a major extrovert and the life of any party. I now understand that he showed the world one side but inside he was feeling opposite.
That made me sad as shit
Wow, U r so strong. Just keep going.
i had a gunny in the marine corps do the same thing and he was the same way. we all came back from holiday leave and was told the news. it still doesnt sit right with me.
It's very bizarre, because you expect people that are suicidal to be so sad and depressed that they walk around frowning with their heads down all day.
👁
It's important to know that you can't _always_ help. I was in a place like that many years ago and I made sure nobody could tell. One day I thought of a reason that I couldn't do it and that was the end. Nobody ever knew.
That is the truth. Personally, I’ve always wanted to but my family and fiancée need me. I was so tired and I wanted to feel peace. I became so talented at hiding my pain that even to this day, the only way it comes out is through nightmares.
I’m trying to be better though. Pickup hobbies, try to appreciate life, etc. it’s working but I’m afraid it won’t be a permanent solution and the psych ward might be seeing me one day.
@@homeslice2825 you're doing okay though. Thinking outside of yourself sounds like something worth doing a lot no matter how hard it is.
Did you hide it because you didn’t want your friends and family to get you help?
Sad, but true. Most hide very well.
I think media has overemphasized that angle and made people feel responsible as a result when in reality most of the time people can't help. They would if given the chance but usually they're not given one. Hard to not feel responsible but the media has made sure that people do.
I feel so guilty ngl like ive been suicidal for a long time and have managed to fight it thankfully yet everytime i tell people i get called ungrateful as people who want to live get taken away. To anyone whos lost anyone due to suicide my thoughts are with you and im sorry
This video was so true. This video was so true. My youngest daughter took her life 4 years ago at the age of 32 and the last photos. And videos of her. She was so happy and smiling on the outside. But her husband said she'd been struggling for a year and she would never have shown us that she showed me a lot of love. 3 months before throughout the holidays and I spoke to her the day before seemed a little distant when I talked to her but I she was so I knew she was depressed about her jobs. Now all I do is look at the photos of her with the biggest smile out of all of my kids. She's 3 older siblings and she was the funniest and the most tenacious and a character. I miss her so
Gonna be honest with you rn, this video had me crying. I lost my mom to suicide 2 years ago and I remember the last time I saw her she was so happy to get remarried and I was happy for her. I remember standing in the kitchen with her as she pulled out a t shirt that said "Future Ms (his last name)" and I thought about how I was going to have both parents in my life. I didn't care he wasn't my biological father, he still loved me just the same and wanted to adopt me and my siblings. I cry all the time thinking about how I never spent a lot of time with her. It hurts me looking at her pictures knowing this is how it all ended. I remember my life shattering the night we got the call she was in the ICU from her attempt. She passed away days later. I'll never forget the pain I felt when they told us she was brain dead. Knowing she was slipping away right from under us. Knowing I'll never see my mom again. Knowing I took it all for granted. I took having a mother for granted and I kick myself in the ass everyday because of it. I remember the last thing I said to her when she was in a coma. Before they took her off life support... "I'll see you soon". I had every intention of taking my life weeks after all was said and done. But I didn't. And I'm glad I didn't. It still hurts carrying on, but I'm stronger than I used to be. My last attempt was October of last year. And I plan to keep it that way. Because I'm going to keep fighting. Even when it hurts....
Edit: I'm on new medications and I'm feeling so much better. I look back on this comment because this was at my worst. I'm a year free from self harm and replaced bad coping skills with better ones, such as tattoos and piercings. It's boosted my confidence so much and I never looked back. I can confidently say I'm doing much better and I plan to get married to my fiance very soon. He's been there at my worst and now at my best. My heart goes out to everyone who's lost a relative or good friend to suicide. It's definitely not easy, but you will get thru this! It's taken 3 years to heal and recover from my past. I did some stupid stuff in order to cope, but I'm glad it's not something that follows me to this day. You are loved and very much wanted in this world even if you don't believe it. I have the best dog and fiance in the world that keeps me going! It may not be much, but I'm get grateful for them both! I still fight and keep fighting for a better life than I was given. Even if it hurts, I still get up and keep going! If you're in America, the new suicide hotline number is 988. It really works and someone will be there to help you with whatever you're going thru!
I'm so happy you didn't. I know it must be painful but I'm sure she'd want you to carry on. I myself have considered it and have decided I won't do it.
I'm so sorry you went through such a trauma. I hope you heal and find your purpose in life ❤️
I cant imagine the pain you feel, but I hope u keep going my friend, love and blessings for u and your family 💜💜💜
I havent dealt with anyone close to me committing suicide but I've had many close people to me pass. It's hard to deal with the guilt, thinking that you couldve done more for them or spent more time with them but try to remember that, at the time you did what you did. You would do things differently if you could and that's what matters. Taking the decision to keep going is so strong of you, you're a fucking champ.
Thank you guys for the comments. It really means a lot to hear this ❤️ I'm working on getting trauma therapy, grief therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy as I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder a month after she passed. I'm taking small steps to recover and I'm working on finding an apprenticeship for body piercing. It's something I've always wanted to do and body modification is something I love. I have a puppy that keeps me company and really is helpful when I'm emotional. I have videos on my channel lol. Thank you for all of your support! Still fighting because I know my past and disorder doesn't define me and rule my future. If you ever feel down, don't give up. I promise you will find a way out of this dark place!
It's crazy how a few words can change a lot of things. It was mid 2020, a few minutes pass 6pm, i was in my shed humming to my favorite tunes with my earbuds on while looking for a rope to hang myself later that evening when my brother suddenly showed up outside the shed, asked me if I'm okay and apologized for everything then invited me for dinner.
Soon I'll be attending his wedding as his best man.
dont do anything again your pricious ok idk who you are but you surrve a purpose
you and your brother are very great & kind. I'm proud of you, even though as a stranger :D
@@laurencedelves yea msn they surve a purpose
I don't know what your brother did, but don't ever let anyone have that much power over you again
@@Harry-fk5ofI don't think this person was saying it's his brother's fault. Even a little sibling argument or bad attitude cause be blown out of proportion when you're not in the right state of mind and he probably realized that when his brother apologized and invited him for dinner. Siblings fight all the time but I don't think anyone expect things to end in such a way.
To anyone that needs to hear this just know that people still cherish you and that depression is just momentarily. You got this🙌
It’s not momentarily for everyone
I love the comment section...Glad to see humanity and basic decency at its level best...This is the love we all need.❤ I like all of you for trying to make it less burdening.
As someone who attempted four times, the state where you finally decided to do it is scary. First, you become blank. Then, you plan when and how. After that, you wait and then act normal. Basically the mindset is "I'm gonna die soon, so I'll make the best out of my remaining hours."
Battling demons is difficult, be part of high energy and life be great.
@@healthyliam6803you seem to be bad at living n stuff
@@ibinkyz anotha one bites tha dusttt… 🌟
@21minute I can relate 😞
What does becoming blank feel like?
What breaks my heart is that in some of them, you can see it that they're tired. Not a physical tired but they're tired. And it breaks me knowing that I can't do anything about what happened to them. They had fun with their families or friends because they knew that they wouldn't ever again. The guy with the ice cream, you could see a little frown on his face, and it ruined me because I could tell he was either just trying to have a good time or trying to make the people around him smile one more time.
Yeah bro it's such a broken smile :(
@@americantoastman7296 And what breaks my heart more is knowing that most of these are men. Why does that break my heart? Because just in 2020 alone it was discovered that men suicidal rates were 4 times higher than women, being at a rate of 1 man every minute killing himself.
Indeed. If u have depression u can easily see it on their eyes, that they are happy at the moment... but not truly
I saw it most in the ice-cream stunt in the beginning
Thank you so much for sharing this observation. The same hitting my mind immediately. No matter what was a purpose to publish this video, I agree with comments saying that suicide hurt a close people around, but there is so much denial and prejudice on the topic of suffering, pain and suicide, that it is unbearable.
Thanks for raising awareness to this, when I was in the depth of my depression only really my wife knew about my problems, I had a pokerface for when I went outside, so this really connects with me.
We're all in this together. Be kind to each other, but remember to be kind to yourself. No one judges you harder than you judge yourself. You're not alone, even when it feels that way.
In 1991, my husband & father to our 4yo son & 1yo daughter, ended his life. 32yrs of unanswered questions, not an hour goes by without him in my thoughts. Please know that you ARE loved, you are NOT alone & we’re ALL in this together! Reach out & I promise you, someone will take your hand. 🙏🏻
fake story so people don't die just fake 🤥
Who cares😂😂😂
Thanks for your kind words...🙏✨🙏
All alone is all we are.
32 years of unanswered questions.. what a way to put it, bless you, thank you and Rest in peace to your loved one.
I sometimes wish I had no loved ones, because I feel trapped. I hate living like this, but I can’t leave and hurt my family, friends and partner.
Yeah same ,
You are so beautiful, hope you will feeling better, i want to kill myself as a kid because my parents torture me
Same. I want this to end, but I think of how much pain I’ll cost my daughter.
Please don't give up people, things will work out, trust.
It's a sickening feeling. I often think how much of an a$$hole I am for not ending it before trying to start a life I knew wasn't meant for me and dragging everybody down with me. Burnt a bridge with my best friend the other day, everything is horrible and getting worse. It's scary how many people feel this way.
Ive been in a dark, deep depression for around 15 years. Bought on by stuff younger me couldnt have dreamed. Ive secretly been abusing substances, anything to numb the endless voice in my head saying "just quit". But in public, I mastered the art of faking it. Letting people believe you are ok, because part od it is fear off being vulnerable. Well, here i am after an awful 2023 that oddly made me finally say "im not going out like this, i know where this road ends". In april now and still much work to do, but i feel hope again. My point is this video is correct. Check in with people. Spend time with them. Because if i had opened up more, or if family was more invested it could have been different. You may well be saving a life that. Just felt the need to share.
Jesus loves you❤❤❤. Praying for your success ! Pray to the one true God and he will restore you and heal your mind and give you all you need. He did for me 🙏☺️✝️
So many souls. I hope they are finally at peace.
My friend killed himself few weeks ago. We hadn't really been in touch for about a year before it and we knew each other for a short time, but man, this information left me shocked and devastated. He helped me through one of the hardest moments in my life. Since his suicide, there hasn't been a single day I wouldn't think about him. He was the purest soul ever, always eager to help others, always energetic and always cheerful. Such a beautiful, extremely young, lost person. As far as I know, the reason was bullying and it makes me fucking mad. It seems he was just an angel, too delicate for this shitty world and fucked up people. That feels bad as hell.
how did he end up his life?
@@jeraldaguilar2763 He hanged himself
Im sorry for your loss. Im sure he is in a better place
So sorry for your loss
I'm so
sorry.
In high school, my best friend popped into my job on a Saturday just to hang out for a bit. It was a little unexpected but there were no red flags.
He killed himself on Sunday night. I still have his picture in my wallet more than a decade later because he's the only reason I've never hurt myself regardless of how I'm feeling; the pain it inflicts on others is not worth it. I miss you so much man.
Edit: Thank you for the supportive comments, and I'm so sorry for those who have gone through similar situations. To those who doubt me, I wish it wasn't true. To those saying I should have done more, I hope you get help.
He probably want to meet all the people he known before he go, I assume, cause that's what I will probably do if I ever committed
sorry to hear brother. losing a great mate to suicide is something you never get over
I can relate. A close friend of mine committed suicide when we were 16, and his funeral still haunts me. I could never do that to my family and friends. I'll never forget his mom standing by the casket as we all walked by for the viewing, she grabbed me by my sleeve and kept asking me if I knew why he did it, if I had noticed him acting weird beforehand, etc. Almost as if she felt she could fix it if she could just figure out why it happened. I could never do that to my mom & sisters. He didn't just kill himself, he killed his entire family that day. They never recovered from it.
@@robert743 thank you for sharing Robert.
@@waltertanmusic1100 my son did. Everyone we spoke said they had seen him, went for a walk, had diner, spoke to him. His last night was with his cousin (almost like brothers) they had fun, music, film, diner. It seemed a normal evening. Only the part when my son left was different. We all felt that. Looking back it was strange. But we didn't know it back then. that he visited or spoke to everyone his last 2 weeks.
Please don't abandon anyone, always support them. You never know what will happen to a person tomorrow. He can be cheerful today and commit suicide tomorrow. Please don't leave anyone in trouble. Help others cope with their suffering. Don't put pressure on them, don't laugh at them. Don't say you will leave them when you love them. Please please please! During the tough times and at other times just give them a big hug
This video somehow heals my soul because i could feel the sense of belonging and that these beautiful people are with me and I’m not alone. There’s no safe space in the real world but sometimes there is on the internet
Depression is not a day by day thing, it’s an hour by hour existence 😢
Man… I know what this means…
Yes. It's sad that I had to know...or feel what this meant.
@@Eighteen19what does it mean? Really?
Just do stuff and stop staying at home all the time.
@@armingleiner5292it’s so simple to people who haven’t actually been there.
My neighbor was one of people who you would never expect. Always had this amazing smile on his face. We will never forget you Stanton.
Just know that suicide leads to Hell Fire.
:(
Please people, repent before it is too late.
@@TedEhioghae not the place to say that
@@TedEhioghae That’s something I think you should keep to you. Just imagine if it were someone from your family. You wouldn’t want someone to tell he/she is going to Hell. Also, God is merciful, don’t try judging anyone. Have a good day. 🎉❤
@@TedEhioghae please stop believing in fairy tales
@@TedEhioghae WTF
Crazy to think that none of them are alive anymore, Rest In Peace 🕊️🌹
It's almost funny how it first came as a joke, then progressed into something like "i dont need to pay my bills or care about myself" I can just jump in front of a train when it gets too fucked. Or atleast thats what i tell myself to not feel overwhelmed with my thoughts and anxiety everyday.
The worst thing is that no one notices it until it happened.
Because people will just tell you to stop being negative. Or when you do express that you want to die they tell you to stop being dramatic. Then one day you’re gone.
@@RageUnchainedexactly this. Plus the lack of sympatheticness especially from those closest to them just ends up making them feel even worse, since its constantly reinforced to them that their issues are not valid.
@@Quickword15 yup. Been there many times. Have to remind myself I’m worth it every day
@@Quickword15*empathy, sympathy is toxic
@@meatloverspizza23 empathy and sympathy are hand in hand. If you don’t empathize you can’t sympathize
I suffered the borderline disorder for over 23 years.
With so much anxiety Not until I came across psilocybin mushrooms treatmentPsilocybin treatment actually saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean.
Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms
Microdosing helped me get out of the pit of my worst depressive episode, a three year long episodeenough to start working on my mental health
: Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Germany. Really need
The shroom experience stands as my most remarkable journey, an awe-inspiring encounter that left an indelible mark of amazement.
Is he on instagram?
Does he make delivery across the state??