Michael Cohen Testifies in Trump Trial, Trump's Matching Allies: Late Night's News of the Week
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 พ.ค. 2024
- All the news and jokes you missed from the week of May 13.
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Michael Cohen Testifies in Trump Trial, Trump's Matching Allies: Late Night's News of the Week
• Michael Cohen Testifie...
Late Night with Seth Meyers
/ latenightseth
Correction: The Chinese zoo wasn't painting dogs; they were dyeing dogs. Not to be confused with dying dogs, which can be found at Kristi Noem's farm.
Seth , Hey You & Stephen /Jimmy /Jon & John should all dress up in matching suits & go to the court house next week . THAT WOULD BE EPIC & BEYOND HILARIOUS ..... LMAO
Agree!!
They should try and have half of u in the courtroom and the other half outside....then switch after lunch😅😂😅😂😅😂😅😂🤮🤢🤬🍄🧠
Dress up like women, but you know, good looking women, wearing colors flattering to your coloring.
"He looks like a ghost that haunts other ghosts."
He was so proud of himself for that concussion joke
Rightly so.
Those Kristi Noem gags get me every time.
Seth, you should tell Lindsey's MeeMaw stories about America, with the Sea-Captain, in the Covid-Attic.
Miss them times.
"The four treasons"😂😂
Great monologue Seth!
11:04 emotional support turkey that I got for my half birthday.🎉 well done. Kudos.👍
"Lost and found bin" 😂😂😂
“Deck Stain” 🤣
Lots of favorites today, but this one was my most favorite favorite!!! MM
The panda dogs are seriously adorable
The Four Treasons
The Celebrity Jeopardy line was the best joke of the week, I don't care what anyone else says.
The Star Wars Oreo joke was the best of the week.
emotional support turkey that I got for my half birthday.🎉
The Star Wars joke was more subtle and requires some knowledge of the franchise history, whereas the turkey is not the joke you're looking for.
@@oldauntzibby4395 AND… 1/2 birthday 🎉
The Four Treasons 😅😂🤣
i'm disappointed we didn't get an impression of mike pence haunting other ghosts. seth's pence voice is hilarious. / that star wars joke is so good because it's so true.
"The average American has 5 reusable shopping bags." Why am I the only one at the checkout that is using them?
More like the average American says they have 5 reusable shopping bags when asked.
Well I have about 30, so that’s five people without any just to average people like me out…
in my family's case, my mom left them at the house by accident and then i borrowed them to bring food and shoes to a housesitting job
@@sidoniegabrielle269 The reusable bags can be used for just about anything. I use them for library/book bags too. The point is to cut down unnecessary waste like plastic bags.
We forget them!
Seth, your still the best! ✨️
"MUI" is genies, and I will die on that hill.
I honestly believe Trump thought that Hannibal Lecter was the hero of "Silence of the Lambs".
2 that lying pig Hannibal IS THE HERO🤮🤢🤬🍄🧠
he kind of was. without him Clarice wouldnt find buffalo bill
@@mikehennessy6766 So that’s one tuck and one no-tuck.
@@mikehennessy6766 If I remember correctly Hannibal Lecter murdered more innocent people in the movie than Buffalo Bill. That would be a really weird hero. And yes, I consider the faceless security card to be innocent.
The FBI is always the bad guy for him…
Loved your jokes zeth keep rockin😊
looove the Kristi Noem jokes
@quesadilla79
Indeed! And also that your comment had the "Translate to English" add on. But when i clicked it, it did nothing 🤣 Guess YT got confused by "looove the Kristi Noem jokes" and thought it needed translation. Have a great day quesadilla79 :)
@@YeOldeSpellbookeWhat do you mean it did nothing? It translated English to English, didn't it? 😂
Me too! Kristi is cra cra! Noem sayin?
Dog in witness protection from christi nome
Kristy Nope.
Chow dogs painted like pandas lol
*_"The Four Treasons"_* ...delightful. Subscribed, twice. Waxing, and not impiracle-y
With the Hannibal lecter thing, I'm just very curious did Trump not really know who Hannibal lecter is or whom's name did he mean and mess up?
@amelia - I try so hard not to be a grammar nazi but “whom’s”REALLY????
@@madeleineprice9645 No, whom's name is correct as he could of been referring to an organization of more than one person, nobody knows what he meant, lol
The worst thing about the Star Wars Oreos is the guy that keeps breaking into your home to add mustard and energy drinks and hot sauce and such to the first three ones.
He's clearly fallen to the dark side if that's what he favors on them.
"The Four Treasons" and "Magapella" lol
I thought the “sidewalk sale” was a funny description but you surpassed it with the “lost and found bin”!
Nailed it on Gaetz!!
10:02, ... Matt Gates has always reminded me of "Quagmire", except Quagmire was an intelligent aircraft pilot. And Gates is ... well ... Not.
His V.P. choices are between Hannibal Lechter and some guy out of Metropolis named Lex Luthor.
Really good writing, Daily Show and Colbert teams also miking this era inspiring for comedy in a time of insanity.
Plus Kimmel. The Avengers of Late Night! 🦸🦸♀🦸♂
Boevert can show up for Trumps trial but not her sons😂
That keeps her from doing damage in DC.
Could someone explain the Ireland/Amazon bit? It went over my head.
Online shopping while drunk. You end up buying things you regret buying.
@@Lycius Ahh gotcha. Thanks!
@@halwakka504 Which can often also happen when you're sober. So, wasn't the best one imo 😅
Oh. Hurtful.
Love you
Mr
Meyers. You make the
G
O
P look so funny. You crack me up
who wrote the brain worm joke? lol
8:48 The stoner "aw man" might be the funniest thing Seth has ever said.
I laughed my arse off. Best joke in my opinion in a while was the skydiving,over a hundred yr old guy, his balls hitting the ground before he did. I am pretty old myself so feel no embarrassment at lol😮😂🤣good job to your writer and of course your presentation of the joke
The writer was Scollins. He should not be enabled. 😉
A former patient of mine(am a retired Occupational Therapist) who I took to the bathroom and helped onto the toilet hollered out, "my balls are in the water, it's cold!'
@@bethb7965 lol
I don't think trump understands the Hannibal Lecter character, or that he's just a character.
Are there no Fridays in America?
Just a rew more vows before the cake...lol
Shes working her way up to pandas
I would fully support Hannibal Lecter as Trump's VP choice. A few months in, Trump's liver becomes foie gras, and we get a comparatively sane, law-abiding, intelligent new President.
comparatively! 🤣
Only if Trump wins
Yes in comparison to Trump. Maybe as a VP he could invite Trump to a private dinner 😉
Loved the "chorus"
Dear Ukraine, the news may make it appear America is too corrupt to support you. Please know that many of us are horrified that unified political support for your efforts has collapsed. For the moment. Praying for you all, especially until we can vote in politicians that will fully fund and support you. You haven't been forgotten. Love, America's Silenced Majority
Lol. Dude. Ukraine is plenty more corrupt than any western country including America... don't get me wrong I support Ukraine in the war and we definitely should stand up to Russian fascism, but that doesn't somehow mean Ukraine isn't a country captured by Oligarchs and corrupt politicians.
Charles Manson found love after lock-up. So can Donny
They never got married... CM said he knew she was using him✌️✌️🙄🙄
Seth's telenovela staring was superb. I would like to see more of the fiery hate triangle between Lauren, Matt, and George. I picture Lauren and Matt falling into a tempestuous affair, based on their love of Trump and distain for common decency. But Matt will soon dump her, because although she never graduated high school, she is 25 years too old for his tastes. But what of her feelings for Eric Trump?
Tune in next week.
I think the dogs were dyed to look like a panda because they were in witness protection from Governor Noem.
Maggapelo is my favorite
Correction: Giuliani couldn't have been the line sitter since he is hiding out in his apartment (which is for sale) while trying to avoid being served a subpoena.
As a huge Stargate fan, the series not the movie, I'm convinced the brainworms ARE the aliens, but they keep failing to take over the right people😮
Do you think Christie Noem thinks places that do Goat Yoga is a shooting gallery like at the fair?
How about a no holds barred fight to the death match instead of a debate?😂
@shirley - Only if Drump’s weapon was a rubber Ruger 🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫
Anyone else notice how much Seth's Trump impression resembles a Reagan impression?
Hannibal hector is from Mexico
0:31 noooo, he says 'silence of the lamb'!! Not lambs! 😳
An NFL QB, initials TB, drove a golf cart down the George Bush Pkwy once. I was there.
First I heard about the Star Wars OREOs, kind of hoping they don't do a lot of spinoffs of the product and I'd end up only liking the Mandalorian one.
Always love Seth! But what’s with the laugh track?
I loved the dis (disrespect comments) about the elected political attendees at Trump’s election violation trial.
Correction : you said Golden bachelor when it’s the Golden bachelorette that’s premiering
Cross your fingers donald when you double cross your former fixer 🤞🏼
If Seth were honest he would tell you about Jury Nullification!
Where is corrections? Are you going to make us beg?
honestly Hannibal would be a better leader than Trump
Ask him about selling America's most sensitive secrets to the bone-saw kingdom
During the show's two-week hiatus, the world should agree not to do anything risable or maddening.
There is a pretty good chance the verdict in Trumps first trial will come down early in their second week. Maybe even end of next week
I thought when he said it was gonna be good practice for Gates that he was talking about being with an experienced woman. Haha! Way to get me.
The GQP members of the House are sooo Crazy!! 🤪
How is someone allowed to fall asleep during a trial?? I get that it's better than him talking but surely you've gotta be awake for your own trial
Walmart produces more concussion based sales of cheap crap
Seth, that joke was... killed... by your call-forward.
😂😂😂😂❤
Oreos has come out with a gluten free cookie. Like gluten is what makes Oreos unhealthy.
How many literal “Ghost” jokes are you going to do this year lol jk well it’s almost Halloween 👻
9:25 = the instant Seth realizes what he's done..."Celebrity Jeobardy...oh crap...I said it with a 'b'..."
JACKALS!!! ATTACK!!!
That's the reason for the 2-week hiatus.
@@sherinameless1618 😂
😂 ❤ 😂
Every picture of Trump grosses me out
Am I really first? Finally. So many years in the making xD
You will remember today as the happiest of your life, and so everything that follows will be ashes and disappointment. ☺
🎉
Everyone give it up for Donald Von Schitzinpants and his fabulous backup singers the FOP (Friends of Putin) 🎙
He must like liver with onions and faba beans
CJ is a great concept- do a skit
Seth, you don't perform a closer look.
you do a sneaky look
May 13th
😅
Are you on vacation again?
Watching that compilation, I had a sudden realisation, maybe a deja vu: I think the worst is going to happen.
We all get so complacent, Trump, Brexit. We laugh at it all.
But then....
Brace yourselves!
the problem with making things foolproof is that they keep building better fools ^^
Vague Rama-shamy
How are there only 158 - now 159 comments on this.
It's the massive debt that would be a deal breaker for me. Everything else...meh...giggle
The possibilities ofKristie Noem are endless---- endlessly tawdry.
M.U.I.!!! 😂
And 3rd ...
(Would you REALLY say "impossible"?)
He needs to get the hell out of New Jersey. Leave us alone.
1:32 78 year old narcissistic psychopath w/massive debt. yup. And con man, cash extractor, wanna-be mobster boss name-calling bully.
Bravo on brain worm...gold medal
Lauren Boebert would go for him. Or kellyanne Conway.
To where? Jail?