The lady with the abusive brute of a husband, this was my story, i left , he killed himself 11 days later , i didnt end up worse off, i worked and had a home , that was 27yr ago ❤
You're so lucky who knows what he would have done 11 days later if you were still there most of the time he had that planned way before he actually did it. I can't speak for him RIP to him but I know fron experience those thoughts manifest over a long time.. I'm happy you escaped
The 33 year old that went to working at an IT help desk to working in IT hoping to make a little more money has no clue how much more money he can make. He believes that he's loser so he doesn't believe that he can be a winner! Wishing him strength in believing in himself!
I feel like having someone you love and finding a loving lifelong partner is something to look for but having children isn’t for everyone and that’s okay ❤️
Thank you for mentioning if you’re around people who just complain about their wives and kids, to get new friends. This attitude is contagious and toxic, I have seen many people engage in this and it’s detrimental to their personal happiness and relational happiness. Better to work and discuss your relationship with your spouse and therapist instead of friends who don’t know what they’re doing.
To the woman with the abusive ex... I wish there was a way to offer my friendship... My heart is in this hearing your call .. I know I can't be but I'd love to just sit there for you when u want to scream or cry or laugh ... You're doing amazing!
My teen just told me today how bad her dad's alcoholism is at his home (she has gone no contact) , the nonsense, the drinking and driving them. She cut off contact with him but my son still idolizes him. I am terrified when his dad takes him like for this weekend. I can't even see a court helping with this where I live.
The first caller with the pathetic brother - dr deloney is right! Caller needs a POA assigned to his brother. The caller can and should be should be clear with boundaries saying we are no longer involved. Brother is destined for a nursing home or mental health facility. He has no ability to live alone, mentally, financially or physically. Saw this all the time when i worked in these settings. The hospital or LTC social worker should be able to help get this process going.
2nd caller with abusive husband- this is my story with my ex husband, even the threats, etc…Worst part about divorcing an abuser- the kids have alone time with an abuser. 20 years divorced- he destroyed my character, endless lies. I lost so many years with my 5 adult children & grandchildren. Worst part is how he damaged them, evil lies like saying divorcing him = I abandoned my children & God. This hurts the children so deeply. Pure evil. Still working on ❤️🩹 healing.
Yea . That also plays into why people stay right? To try and not have them (the kids) alone with the abuser after separation 😫. Court will give joint custody. Such a hard fight
I chose to walk away from a cheating, abusive, narcissistic husband, to protect my children from him. Now my adult children believe his lies, and have alienated me. This man have taken everything from me
The mother talking about how her ex husband abused her sounds just like my husband’s experience in his first marriage. Everything that lady’s ex did to her was exactly what my husband’s ex did to him. 😞
I had a medical directive for my mentally ill brother where is end of life wishes were documented by him. Due to knowing his wishes, I was able to know what decisions to make when he was terminally ill.
Trudy is pretty amazing. She did not become bitter or lash out at others as some do. She cares deeply and still has trust in others. I only wish she could see her amazing character and strength and learn to trust in expressing herself directly and people will see it's coming from a good place, even when they don't have the same views.
My Ex did this 😂except for the kid. He ended up living in his car after having triple bypass. He refused to stay in rehab or even go to a rehab place because he couldn’t smoke and drink. None of our kids wanted anything to do with him because of things he had done. He was found dead in his car in a Walmart parking lot where he was living. People make choices in their lives. Sometimes a persons actions cause others to walk away and tats fine. Cut ties when you need to and move on.
Don't. I moved back almost 2 years ago, when I saw changes in my mom's behavior and for her safety. So I was able to save some money and do some things for her, but I miss my independence. My son suggested I move closer, but not in with her. Now I have to have the hard conversation of providing additional care, setting up a schedule with my sisters and close family members or talking mom into an assisted living situation. Choosing guilt over resentment.🙏🏽
Hi Dr. Delony Team, I'm an adult survivor of alcohol parent. I relate to the talk with the mother in this video that is now a divorced parent. I noticed similarities with this person's daughter. Is there any books you could recommend that touch on this topic that would help me understand me more?
Jennifer from Miami's ex was exactly like mine, except the gender roles reversed. My ex is a tiny woman but incredibly vicious and vindictive. Jennifer's description of her ex-husband's abuse was exactly what I went through. Now I'm trying to figure out how to get my daughter and her older step-sister out of their mom's isolating clutches. They're young adults now but I just know they feel trapped, and likely brainwashed so they feel responsible for their mother. I had no choice but to go no contact after I left as the smear campaigns, lies and abuse escalated - and although it's been life-changing for me, the guilt I have over the feeling of abandoning my child with her troubled mother is gutwrenching.
The alcoholism is a symptom of the toxic personality. The dad is probably a huge narcissist who uses substances bc he isn’t getting the level of compliments, praise & validation that he wants from others.
well that sounds sounds like this guy's already on death's door . I lost my husband 8 years ago from stage 4 lung cancer and he only smoked two packages of cigarettes a day apparently this guy does not want to live
This whole take care of your family IS OVERRATED!!! Yeah I’ll help but I’m not sacrificing anything and quite frankly idgaf who gets mad at me at this point of my life because ITS MY LIFE!! Not anybody else’s! Anyone who even STARTS to act like an Ahole ✂️. Its just I “sacrificed” and wasted most of my life and money to church, “family”, and other bs and because of that I’m 27 playing catch-up with life and other stuff. Call me what you want but I’m sick n tired of being “nice”.
Thank you this is Robb from the call that you listen to sounds to me like you've nailed it on the head I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired thank you for understanding
Relationships are definitely a 2-way street. If no effort is made on their end and they are the only one benefiting, they are USING you for what you can DO for them. Imagine if this was a romantic relationship… yikes.
HUGE Dr. John fan, but pleeeeease stop the madness of putting out to the world that marriage with kids is the only amazing love-filled life to live. Tons of people never marry/have kids for any number of reasons; their lives are equally meaningful and valid. 😩😩🤦♀️ Mother Teresa: Exhibit A. ☺️☺️❤️
Yuck. Telling a man who said he doesn't want to have kids about how fabulous having kids is is just yucky. I made it to 29 and knew without a doubt I didn't want to be a mom. An even happened and now I have a 5 year old...it sucks...still waiting for the sunshine and rainbows and wanting to stare at my kid with a happy heart 😢
Thanks for sharing thar perspective and for being honest. I feel like many people who want kids don't truly, TRULY understand how hard it is. The sleep deprivation, the loss of independence, the constant invasion of space, never being able to put yourself first. Back to you, I'm sorry you don't have a happy heart while looking at your child, particularly now that the sleepless nights should be... reducing. Have you considered talking to a professional about this, perhaps long term post partum. You deserve to be happy and with a happy heart and your child deserves to have a parent with a happy heart (although it's definitely not sunshine and rainbows all the time!) 😂 best of luck
No judgment, that guy and his wife sound like father and daughter. He sounds old, she sounds young or I'm guessing the results of years of cigarette smoking.
I feel like there may be something mentally wrong with this man and maybe there are other issues as to why he hasn’t moved out. Maybe he isn’t able of working 🤷🏻♀️. Wow.
I never want to get married. I never want to get married. I never want to get married. I never want to get married. I'm so afraid of modern women throwing everything I build out the window
100% understandable. I have daughters that I try to explain that the way they view modern relationships is wrong and I have a very young son who I fear for in life when it comes to relationships later on in life because I am afraid of him getting hurt someone who considers themselves as a modern woman who's values are different than what I am teaching him.
@@terezagomez5125 I wish you all the best. It just seems that none of the women my age are healthy mentally, sexually, even physically to what the level I am and what I am looking for.
I have to say I have daughters that are 21,20, and 19 and I am 36 years old myself which means I had my girls when I was really young myself but because I had to grow up really fast I see that at this point in time women have a very warped way of seeing things and the only thing I can do is try to teach my girls and sons the values I have to try and change the crap society has been trying to teach them and hopefully help them have successful relationships later in life and as I do for them I will do for you even if I don't know you and keep you in my heart and hope the best for you in life and that is whether you are single or not. I hope you find happiness just as much as I do for my son to find the same in life. And in order to do that you have to be happy with you first. I want you to know that the only reason I responded to you was because I have had a lot of life lessons that I had to learn on my own and only through experience have I had the ability to try and change the outcome for my girls and son and the only reason I felt compelled to say something is because I see my kids in you and the same way that I would want others to care about them I care about our young people including you. And you are not alone and unfortunately you are right about the modern woman and how they view relationships. I will keep you in my heart and thoughts and wish you find happiness. Take care of yourself.
The lady with the abusive brute of a husband, this was my story, i left , he killed himself 11 days later , i didnt end up worse off, i worked and had a home , that was 27yr ago ❤
Holy moly strong lady. What a story. Glad you had the strength then and can show people in abusive relationships it’s possible
You're so lucky who knows what he would have done 11 days later if you were still there most of the time he had that planned way before he actually did it. I can't speak for him RIP to him but I know fron experience those thoughts manifest over a long time.. I'm happy you escaped
Wow God bless you ❤
The 33 year old that went to working at an IT help desk to working in IT hoping to make a little more money has no clue how much more money he can make. He believes that he's loser so he doesn't believe that he can be a winner! Wishing him strength in believing in himself!
Amen to that. I pray he's doing better now.
I feel like having someone you love and finding a loving lifelong partner is something to look for but having children isn’t for everyone and that’s okay ❤️
Facing that possible realization after 15 years of marriage and it pains me everyday. 😢😢😢😢😢
My well behaved dogs/cats ❤ are the closest to children I will ever have. ❤
Thank you for mentioning if you’re around people who just complain about their wives and kids, to get new friends. This attitude is contagious and toxic, I have seen many people engage in this and it’s detrimental to their personal happiness and relational happiness. Better to work and discuss your relationship with your spouse and therapist instead of friends who don’t know what they’re doing.
I remember when Dr John started out on a couch and had only 200 views and couple hundred followers he grew rapidly. I’m glad I was part of the journey
His insight is just so on the nose!! It’s amazing!
To the woman with the abusive ex... I wish there was a way to offer my friendship... My heart is in this hearing your call .. I know I can't be but I'd love to just sit there for you when u want to scream or cry or laugh ... You're doing amazing!
God the abused wife seems like the coolest woman I wish better for her
My teen just told me today how bad her dad's alcoholism is at his home (she has gone no contact) , the nonsense, the drinking and driving them. She cut off contact with him but my son still idolizes him. I am terrified when his dad takes him like for this weekend. I can't even see a court helping with this where I live.
The BEST MENTAL HEALTH channel on TH-cam ❤❤❤
❤🎉😊🎉❤ Yesssss!!
Love the t-shirt but at $30 a pop I have to pass!
The call from the abused lady was such a difficult call & Dr. John did a great job!
Children ARE NOT necessary for a Happy Life.
The first caller with the pathetic brother - dr deloney is right! Caller needs a POA assigned to his brother. The caller can and should be should be clear with boundaries saying we are no longer involved.
Brother is destined for a nursing home or mental health facility. He has no ability to live alone, mentally, financially or physically. Saw this all the time when i worked in these settings. The hospital or LTC social worker should be able to help get this process going.
Having kids isn’t always something everyone wants. He may be afraid, however it’s not for everyone.
Which person are you talking about?
2nd caller with abusive husband- this is my story with my ex husband, even the threats, etc…Worst part about divorcing an abuser- the kids have alone time with an abuser. 20 years divorced- he destroyed my character, endless lies. I lost so many years with my 5 adult children & grandchildren. Worst part is how he damaged them, evil lies like saying divorcing him = I abandoned my children & God. This hurts the children so deeply. Pure evil.
Still working on ❤️🩹 healing.
Yea . That also plays into why people stay right? To try and not have them (the kids) alone with the abuser after separation 😫. Court will give joint custody. Such a hard fight
Surely your kids aren't stupid and realise what's going on???
I chose to walk away from a cheating, abusive, narcissistic husband, to protect my children from him. Now my adult children believe his lies, and have alienated me. This man have taken everything from me
Never that complicated when you have a logical guy like Dr. John!
The mother talking about how her ex husband abused her sounds just like my husband’s experience in his first marriage. Everything that lady’s ex did to her was exactly what my husband’s ex did to him. 😞
I had a medical directive for my mentally ill brother where is end of life wishes were documented by him. Due to knowing his wishes, I was able to know what decisions to make when he was terminally ill.
Trudy is pretty amazing. She did not become bitter or lash out at others as some do. She cares deeply and still has trust in others.
I only wish she could see her amazing character and strength and learn to trust in expressing herself directly and people will see it's coming from a good place, even when they don't have the same views.
My Ex did this 😂except for the kid. He ended up living in his car after having triple bypass. He refused to stay in rehab or even go to a rehab place because he couldn’t smoke and drink. None of our kids wanted anything to do with him because of things he had done. He was found dead in his car in a Walmart parking lot where he was living. People make choices in their lives. Sometimes a persons actions cause others to walk away and tats fine. Cut ties when you need to and move on.
In defense of Sam from Orlando, Dave Ramsey would totally call you a loser if you lived with your parents at 33
Yeah but that’s not helping anyone. I doubt Dave would beat up on a guy who’s down in dumps. Plus he’s helping out his mom
It's couldn't care less, not could care less. Big difference 😊
😴
Jennifer is so inspiring to me, and your story resonates with me so much. Jennifer, you are amazing.. seriously.
Great show Dr Delony! Thank you
3rd caller's mother's finances aren't his problem. If she has to sell her place she can.
Aw I feel for the last guy. I’m super close to my parents and sometimes I want to move back 😅.
Don't. I moved back almost 2 years ago, when I saw changes in my mom's behavior and for her safety. So I was able to save some money and do some things for her, but I miss my independence. My son suggested I move closer, but not in with her. Now I have to have the hard conversation of providing additional care, setting up a schedule with my sisters and close family members or talking mom into an assisted living situation. Choosing guilt over resentment.🙏🏽
Hi Dr. Delony Team, I'm an adult survivor of alcohol parent. I relate to the talk with the mother in this video that is now a divorced parent. I noticed similarities with this person's daughter. Is there any books you could recommend that touch on this topic that would help me understand me more?
Jennifer from Miami's ex was exactly like mine, except the gender roles reversed. My ex is a tiny woman but incredibly vicious and vindictive. Jennifer's description of her ex-husband's abuse was exactly what I went through. Now I'm trying to figure out how to get my daughter and her older step-sister out of their mom's isolating clutches. They're young adults now but I just know they feel trapped, and likely brainwashed so they feel responsible for their mother. I had no choice but to go no contact after I left as the smear campaigns, lies and abuse escalated - and although it's been life-changing for me, the guilt I have over the feeling of abandoning my child with her troubled mother is gutwrenching.
1st call…the new 16 year old niece is the only blessing, cut the brother loose!
One of the best songs out there
Yes! I love this song. The DR Delony song
The alcoholism is a symptom of the toxic personality. The dad is probably a huge narcissist who uses substances bc he isn’t getting the level of compliments, praise & validation that he wants from others.
He needs a POA and he has to sign advanced directive form at hospital ... NOW that he is lucid and can make decisions for his care.
This guy looks and sounds very similar to Dr John D.
well that sounds sounds like this guy's already on death's door . I lost my husband 8 years ago from stage 4 lung cancer and he only smoked two packages of cigarettes a day apparently this guy does not want to live
This whole take care of your family IS OVERRATED!!! Yeah I’ll help but I’m not sacrificing anything and quite frankly idgaf who gets mad at me at this point of my life because ITS MY LIFE!! Not anybody else’s! Anyone who even STARTS to act like an Ahole ✂️. Its just I “sacrificed” and wasted most of my life and money to church, “family”, and other bs and because of that I’m 27 playing catch-up with life and other stuff. Call me what you want but I’m sick n tired of being “nice”.
Thank you this is Robb from the call that you listen to sounds to me like you've nailed it on the head I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired thank you for understanding
Relationships are definitely a 2-way street. If no effort is made on their end and they are the only one benefiting, they are USING you for what you can DO for them. Imagine if this was a romantic relationship… yikes.
Haven't heard his call yet but 100% agreed!
There it is, jaded level achieved 👌🏼
HUGE Dr. John fan, but pleeeeease stop the madness of putting out to the world that marriage with kids is the only amazing love-filled life to live. Tons of people never marry/have kids for any number of reasons; their lives are equally meaningful and valid. 😩😩🤦♀️ Mother Teresa: Exhibit A. ☺️☺️❤️
so agree. Too many people have kids that aren't really willing to make the total commitment
Mother Teresa was an evil, nasty con woman…just fyi
Yuck. Telling a man who said he doesn't want to have kids about how fabulous having kids is is just yucky. I made it to 29 and knew without a doubt I didn't want to be a mom. An even happened and now I have a 5 year old...it sucks...still waiting for the sunshine and rainbows and wanting to stare at my kid with a happy heart 😢
Thanks for sharing thar perspective and for being honest. I feel like many people who want kids don't truly, TRULY understand how hard it is. The sleep deprivation, the loss of independence, the constant invasion of space, never being able to put yourself first. Back to you, I'm sorry you don't have a happy heart while looking at your child, particularly now that the sleepless nights should be... reducing. Have you considered talking to a professional about this, perhaps long term post partum. You deserve to be happy and with a happy heart and your child deserves to have a parent with a happy heart (although it's definitely not sunshine and rainbows all the time!) 😂 best of luck
True narcissist at work!
No judgment, that guy and his wife sound like father and daughter. He sounds old, she sounds young or I'm guessing the results of years of cigarette smoking.
I feel like there may be something mentally wrong with this man and maybe there are other issues as to why he hasn’t moved out. Maybe he isn’t able of working 🤷🏻♀️. Wow.
Stop the quit - recommit.
I never want to get married.
I never want to get married.
I never want to get married.
I never want to get married.
I'm so afraid of modern women throwing everything I build out the window
100% understandable. I have daughters that I try to explain that the way they view modern relationships is wrong and I have a very young son who I fear for in life when it comes to relationships later on in life because I am afraid of him getting hurt someone who considers themselves as a modern woman who's values are different than what I am teaching him.
@@terezagomez5125 I wish you all the best.
It just seems that none of the women my age are healthy mentally, sexually, even physically to what the level I am and what I am looking for.
I have to say I have daughters that are 21,20, and 19 and I am 36 years old myself which means I had my girls when I was really young myself but because I had to grow up really fast I see that at this point in time women have a very warped way of seeing things and the only thing I can do is try to teach my girls and sons the values I have to try and change the crap society has been trying to teach them and hopefully help them have successful relationships later in life and as I do for them I will do for you even if I don't know you and keep you in my heart and hope the best for you in life and that is whether you are single or not. I hope you find happiness just as much as I do for my son to find the same in life. And in order to do that you have to be happy with you first. I want you to know that the only reason I responded to you was because I have had a lot of life lessons that I had to learn on my own and only through experience have I had the ability to try and change the outcome for my girls and son and the only reason I felt compelled to say something is because I see my kids in you and the same way that I would want others to care about them I care about our young people including you. And you are not alone and unfortunately you are right about the modern woman and how they view relationships. I will keep you in my heart and thoughts and wish you find happiness. Take care of yourself.
@@terezagomez5125 are you male or female?
I too, had kids very young! My girls are 15 (almost 16), 14, & 12. My Husband and I are 32 & 34.
@@breannabaldridge6547 I am a Female.