I have love and pies myself. It’s a bit addictive (for me at least), but it’s a great game with a neat story and some lovely queer representation. I definitely recommend it.
Francia raised Paula to be like this and then decided it wasn't as convenient for her anymore and is confused that Paula is behaving in the same way she always has. I feel for Paula. She's been set up to fail, basically
That is an interesting theory. I too think that a lot of this is a sub product of her parenting. In some ways, she has it correct. You should be pro loving your body, I think sexual liberation is also important theme to her mother, but that should maybe come with the caveat that you impart ethics and personal responsibility into your adult child so they do those things safely at the same time. I have a different theory. I think Paoula is a lesbian, but very insecure about it. In serious denial, actually. So, somewhere along the way she may have wanted to embrace that part of herself, but developed this unhealthy bond bc she may like the feelings of being with naked with another female, but struggling with debilitating self hatred, so afraid of rejection. Who is the one person that cannot reject you? Your mother. She could be modeling the behaviors that one would have in a romantic way because of how she was raised. In normal adolescence, one would outgrow the "mommy, when I grow up we're going to get married and do everything together" around 6, if not well before. But I think her fear of abandonment, mixed with being exposed to a hyper sexualized example of intimacy at a very young age was the perfect storm of events. Especially when you consider their lack of boundaries. A good psychotherapist could be absolutely revolutionary in both their lives. Paoula is not going to like the process of growth and the setting of boundaries, but I think this is repairable, I really do. I'm ngl, I think this is going to be really tough for both of them, but it's so vital for good health to establish some rules and create space for new life experiences. This just isn't healthy or sustainable. Things could be soooo much better for both of them. I am so surprised that I missed this, I was subscribed! This is crazy!!!
This is interesting too, because Paula is kind of justified in her fear of losing her mom to a date. They do nasty dating things together as mother and daughter, which is obviously f*cked up, but if her mom got a boyfriend or something, he would literally replace her daughter! He would take Paula’s spot in her mom’s bed! Normally you can reassure your kids that no one will ever replace them, but in this case, Francia has warped the relationship with her daughter so much that she would actually be putting her daughter out at that point. Not to mention, the trauma that Paula would experience!
This comment needs to be pinned, this is exactly it. Paula is acting this way because this is what her mother taught and encouraged of her. She would have no reference for how to be "normal". So it's hard to blame Paula for not knowing that she's acting poorly/ inapropriate, when she would have no way of knowing otherwise.
Paula is a grown-ass woman and can take responsibility for herself now. Normally I do think the parents are to blame but in this case, Paula needs to get some damn therapy and needs to start taking control of her own life, making her own friends, and realising how narcissistic she is. If anything, based on that final scene, Paula is literally abusing her mum. If she were a man in a relationship, we'd call that abuse - she's taken control of the power dynamic and is refusing to let go. No amount of childhood trauma or bad parenting would excuse that.
I'm from Brazil and I live in a women-only household, and, yeah, we're relatively comfortable with being naked around each other... But for SHORT PERIODS OF TIME (like changing while being in the same room). WANTING to be naked with your mom ALL THE TIME IN BED is definitely not common
We are from Puerto Rico and also have a woman dominated house, we are the same way!!! SHORT PERIODS and we respect and knock on doors. I don't understand that.
Yup this is my experience, short amounts of time, like I'll be in my room nakey and if I need to run to the bathroom right next to the room I dash there, but naked in the kitchen? That's a safety hazard hahaha
i live in a woman only household (if you ignore the dog but he's fixed so it doesn't count lol)and let me tell you when my mom walks in on me changing i damn near scream,idk what they're doing but it's not normal
I'm from the US and out family is very much like this as well. Getting change in front of each other, walking from one room to the next for a moment. About anything that would happen in a locker room another place where people happen to be naked around others for short periods of time. But the things going on in this house are weird and crosses a line. This mother used her daughter and their relationship to fill the space of a romantic relationship.
As a south american latina I can say have never meet someone from colombia who has no boundaries when it comes to bodily boundaries. That is definitely NOT a cultural thing.
@@Starsongzzas a Colombian person who lives in Colombia, this is some slander I can't believe these people really tried to drag the whole country with them Like you're a weirdo here too tf you mean.
@@GeteMachine I'm not taking it seriously, mostly I find it ridiculous But they did claim "this is normal in Colombia" it's not I promise you it's not, I've lived here my whole life So it is kinda personal if you're doing something so weird and saying it's normal in a country They could have said it is normal in their family Claiming is the whole country? Nah
@blikpic it's mind boggling to take a bad personal trait and attribute it to your culture, Isabella is the just right amount of annoyed. You saying otherwise is gatekeepy and cringe.
this feels like a classic case of a child being turned into a romantic partner by a parent who lacks a love life and the mom is having to deal with these consequences, i feel no sympathy for the mother since shes the one who cultivated the entire bases of this relationship and shes realizing "oh i fucked up" so now shes mad at her daughter who is only portraying the character her mother imposed on her. i also noticed that in a moment in the clip where the mother asks "how would you feel if i did that to you?" the daughter starts to infantilize herself with a higher and nasally voice and starts using "mommy" as a way to get her mothers affection again. its really odd and makes me wonder how her childhood was in full if shes able to revert to that to get her mothers anger out of the picture?
Yep, they're literally romantic partners and that's what's fucking weird. Like, there is now way to make a distinction between them and a normal couple besides sex, and that's a huge problem.
You really lack empathy I can't tell you never experience something like that. I'm sure her intention were pure at first. She didn't see that coming. She just love her child. It's look like she is kissing her or other stuff. She now realize the problem and try to do her best
@@Xoxocutegirl its called emotional incest and its child abuse. She doesn't deserve empathy when she's blaming Paula for her own selfish "parenting" which is more like grooming.
100% emotional lnc3st on the part of the mom. i feel bad for the daughter for being put in this situation and then to be framed as the villain. its just really sad for her.
I mean Paula is still ultimately the victim here and I have no sympathy for Francia. Her mother should have kept their relationship within healthy boundaries and now she has to suffer the consequences of creating such a deeply codependent relationship with her daughter during such crucial years of her development. I feel awful for this girl because I don't know how she's going to manage life when her mother eventually passes or really does get married to another man and finally establishes these boundaries. Paula probably doesn't know HOW to form relationships because her mother kept her all to herself since she was a CHILD... Like no, what Paula's doing isn't right, but she wouldn't be doing this if her mother hadn't kept her all to herself and leaned on her so heavily. This scream emotional abuse from Paula and the fact she just does not seem to realize that all of this is her own damn fault is really sickening to me.
Yeah, I really tried to be open to this relationship-I’m waspy as fuck and we are not like this-but the time for keeping track of when you’re pooping ends when kids are potty trained. This is not a healthy relationship. Imagine what Paula is going to be like when a child enters this picture! She can’t keep walking around naked all the time, for one. They’re going to have to make accommodations for the way Alejandra was raised. It feels like Francia clung to Paula and parentified her a bit at the same time, and now that Francia is feeling more confident and comfortable in the US, Paula has no resources for self soothing or developing outside relationships.
I was waiting for someone to bring this up. I’ve always try to be patient with people because I know, ultimately, we’re a product of our ancestors issues. At least to some degree. Although I’ll still piece someone up if I need to, so that only goes so far.
You mostly need to be confident to build connections with other people, but this doesn't affect your confidence. You have to make your child feel like it deserves to be taken seriously and to be accepted which in my opinion she Def does. She respects her daughter and even more. But I can see why she'll still struggle. Bc if you saw enough times that you did something wrong you start thinking that somethings wrong with you. Since she's an immigration background she prob did more mistakes than the local children and therefore doesn't trust in herself as much. Children of immigrants have that often. But I can guarantee you that her mom gave her the best chances to still feel good abt herself
When you’re a child raised to believe “this is how moms and daughters act” and you’re put in a parentified role, you don’t know that other boundaries even exist. The mom set her up for co-dependence and then pushes her away when she doesn’t want her. That must be so confusing and painful for the daughter
Right!! Paula probably has no idea she was basically groomed emotionally (maybe sexually too?) by the mom because this is normal to her. The only way she’s going to change her mindset is if she starts getting female friends, goes to their houses, and sees the relationship between each other. Maybe then she’ll realize her non-existent boundaries with her mom isn’t healthy and she’ll start to healthy separate herself from the mom.
As someone who was born and raised in Colombia before migrating to the U.S., it is in fact not common to be around your family naked; much less “extremely common.”
Bruh I called my Columbian best friend in the middle of this because I couldn’t keep watching without knowing. I was low key gonna never see Bita, her grandma, the same way again.. But no, my friend was more than confused where the hell this question came from😂😂😂
Don't get me wrong, Paula is ABSOLUTELY manipulative and inappropriate, but... I just have this to say about the mother: you reap what you sow. I'm willing to bet that she 100% has instilled all this in to her, intentionally or not
I dont mind being naked infront of my mother or dad and only if its for a short period of time. It's not a big deal i grew up in a house where we were taught that bodies aren't inherintly sexual but we still understand that THERE IS A LINE. And we definitely don't go OUT OF OUR WAY TO BE NAKED INFRONT OF EATCHOTHER. And WANTING to be naked around your parent and being naked around them like 24/7 is....uhm fucking weird yeah wtf
was gonna come comment the same. I see my mother naked occasionally and her vice versa but thats like strictly while we're changing. This is such a crazy different level.
ya. i got a major injury recently and my mom had to bathe me for the first time since i was like 5 i would guess. it wasn’t uncomfortable for me, she was just helping me feel better by being clean. it’s about the context of the nudity that makes it comfortable or not for me
I feel so bad for Alejandra man imagine being adopted by your aunt and moving somewhere new and finding out this is the relationship between your aunt and cousin I’d be so uncomfortable living there😭😭
Francia wants to cross boundaries when *she* wants to and wants Paula to be okay with it when *she’s* okay with it, but she failed to form healthy boundaries in her child growing up and now she’s mad that the child doesn’t know better.
Yeah…this is definitely the moms doing. Something similar happened to my wife and her mom (not this extreme) after her mom got divorced. My mother in law groomed her into an extremely codependent, role reversed, unhealthy relationship. Eventually my wife broke free around 20. Sounds like the mom just created a “monster” and now regrets it. With no accountability lol
This dynamic is pretty concerning tbh. Definetly seems like Paula was parentified as a kid and she doesn't even realise it. Francia should've set these boundaries years ago.
@@AleTitanand then she's getting an argument when she acts in ways she was taught to act. Like, miss mom, YOU made her this way. What Paula has done is shitty, but it's frustrating to watch her mother act like she doesn't know where this is coming from.
To me this just screams like... the mom didnt have any relationships when her daughter was young so projected all of her social needs onto a child who felt obligated to fulfill them to the best of her ability. Hence the whole mother/daughter role reversal thing, Paula probably grew up feeling like she needed to take care of her mom all the time, and just accepted that as what a normal parent/child relationship is and never stopped as an adult to reflect that it was super unhealthily codependent. And so she doesn't get how her mom is now, seemingly all of a sudden, having other important relationships with people, because her mom never taught her how to set boundaries or form relationships with anyone else. That's just my take tho, i don't know these people.
Bingo! I'm sure this is exactly or atleast most likely what happened. Our cognitive abilities plays a huge role in this as well as emotional vulnerability.
I feel like the mom definitely was committing emotional incest while her daughter was growing up, and as the result, now she's 27 with severely disordered attachment and no independence. This is ultimately the mother's fault. Not okay.
It’s not that weird to be naked around your mom in the right context (spa, changing, etc). What’s weird about it is the frequency/closeness to another and the obsession of the nudity being important.
Yeah exactly, like me and my mom sometimes are naked because we're changing or i forgot my clothes and shit. Like- IT'S NOT ALL THE TIME AND SOMETIMES I NEED
@@dataexpunged93N15 u seem to lack some critical information. my comment is clearly in relation to the fact tht the mother claimed being naked in front of ur family as a general behavior was normal in colombia. hope this helps 👍
It’s really sad honestly. As much as Paula seems manipulative and very possessive, her trying to ruin her mom’s relationships is pretty normal as she is right now acting as the former boyfriend meaning the second her mother gets a bf, she won’t be sleeping with her mother anymore which she has done FOREVER. Obviously the unhealthy attachment is present but that’s 100% Francia’s fault. She never draw any boundaries and she’s not realizing it 27 years later ? Those 27 year old habits are NOT gonna leave anytime soon. Pretty selfish of her I really feel bad for Paula cuz that’s gonna take YEARRRSSS of therapy and work to try and fix those boundaries etc
As a Finn I can say that while nudity is usually not a big deal here (thanks to the sauna culture; I've seen almost all of my friends and immediate family naked and it's never been treated as being weird), it does have its time and place. I could NEVER just casually stroll around my mom's house naked.
Another Finn here to confirm, you live here and you will see your friends and family naked in the sauna sooner or later! Also if you go to swimming halls here be prepared to see naked people in the changing rooms and showers (though they are separated to male and female areas). Might sound weird for some, but in all honestly it's good for your own body image to see all kinds of natural bodies even from a young age. Going around naked while not in a bathing area is beyond me though...
Idk I feel like while the daughter being so possessive of her mom isn’t good, we have to look at the relationship as a whole and how the mom has probably massively fucked her up. It’s disgusting to teach you child that these behaviors are okay and I’m a little surprised how you’re talking the Mom’s side so much more here. She was the adult here and who knows what kind of emotional and sexual abuse she has inflicted on her daughter to make her they way she is.
The extreme lack of boundaries has me really concerned as to how deep that lack goes. The minute you start actually pooping together with your kid I think you've lost the plot entirely We have no proof of CSA but between the nakedness and massages and Paula's separation anxiety, I sadly wouldn't be shocked
I honestly am not sure she is aware how she has fucked her daughter up. She genuinely doesn't seem to understand why her daughter has no boundaries-especially around dating in particular. And I don't see any signifiers of sexual abuse here. So I don't think we should just be throwing that kind of accusation around. That's for victims to disclose when they are ready, and not for random internet strangers to speculate on.
@@FIRING_BLIND bro… they sleep naked together? As a 27 year old, she had to be groomed at a young age to think that’s okay. Also, her daughter gave her a massage while she was naked under a towel. Whether she considers it sexual or not is irrelevant, these behaviors have sexual undertones and are not appropriate and for the daughter to find that to be normal signifies abuse in my eyes. When’s the last time you took a parent/child poop together with your parent or guardian? Like what the hell is that. It’s a bit strange you think it’s not abusive and how would it be inappropriate to call someone out if you think they’re abusing their kid, It’s often people sitting idly by that allows situations like this to worsen. I actually knew a girl who was on one of these shows with her mom and let me tell you, these types of moms that are crazy enough to show this on camera get up to way worse behind the scenes.
I don't think there was any sexual abuse. Just way over stepping boundaries and making her be codependent on her. My mom did something similar and I had to break away slowly. It pained me not going over her house every weekend but I slowly got over it. Now I'm totally fine being away from her and admitting to the abuse.
This is disgusting. Clearly the mother groomed her daughter to be her stand in mother/spouse and now that it's inconvenient she's pushing her away. And that woman is adopting another young girl. Disgusting. The mother is a predator. If she were a man he'd be in jail, like she should be.
I feel really bad for Paula :( her behavior sucks but it feels like she hasn't had a life outside of her mom. she comes across like she got parentified especially after moving countries and then now she's more childish from not being able to grow up right. and she seeks validation constantly from her mom who's more "like a kid at heart". that's why she comes across like a "jealous ex". I hope she can get therapy
Yes it seems like she had to mother her mother, be her friend and emotional support her entire life. She doesn't seem it as a problem because it's all she knows. Her mother clearly takes advantage of it and enjoys the perks of their relationship, until it's inconvenient. Then she wants her to grow up and live her own life
The mum isen't even offering to help her build a life of her own i think its the mum who needs to grow up she blatantly raised her daughter to use her as a substitute partner and is now surprised shes acting like feels like shes being cheated on now her mum who she has been conditioned to treat as her everything met someone else and thinks nothing of just tossing her daughter aside with no one else to turn to for a sense of connection or belonging she needs to take some responsibility and not just push her out now she has other people in her life @@JournalNthoughts
To me, it seems like the mother created the unhealthy boundaries with her daughter from the start. There’s no reason her daughter would be so in love with her mother unless the mother nurtured that relationship in the first place. This is basically grooming done to the child by the parent and now the child and the mother are going to suffer for it. Wow. I’m sure this wasn’t the mothers intent but that just goes to show you really do need other people in your life so you don’t become codependent on a child!!!!
I feel like this is what a lot of boy moms do they want to control everything their "little man" does telling them they are the man of the house and that they need to protect their mom at the age of 7 it's emotional incest
It seems like Francia used her daughter as an emotional crutch and treated her as more of a buddy than a daughter. So, of course Paula doesn't respect her as a mother figure. She failed to teach her boundaries and respect, and goes on to act shocked when Paula doesn't have limits. They both need a lifetime of therapy, but I don't know how they could recover their relationship after knowing how messed up it was.
I wouldn’t necessarily feel weird being naked around my mom. Obviously there’s always an appropriate time and place for everything though. I’m also the type of person that doesn’t see nudity as a sacred/sexual thing. In a lot of other cultures you bathe w your family or other people! It’s a very American practice to make nudity so taboo.
Yah I took baths with my mom and she obvs dressed me (till like 3rd grade lmao) and I’d prefer for her not to see me naked but I’m not gonna think it’s weird. It’s just personal feeling ig.
I used to have a stricter boundary with my mom about barging in when I was showering or changing but I had to have surgery and she had to help me bathe for like two weeks so now I don’t care as much. It’s not a weird thing in my mind for my mom to grab something out of the bathroom while I’m in the shower
Me as an adult right now would be comfortable being naked in front of my mother. Because it not sexual amend it’s not judgmental. I mean the only time my mom sees me naked is in a changing room at a store. But still I would be comfortable, same with female friends. But also I wouldn’t be laying in bed naked with my mother 😂 just more of my mother doesn’t have to leave the room for me to change because I don’t feel threaten by her
Yeah, I recently got back from a trip overseas, and my partner and mom came to pick me up from the airport. I'd been flying for about 18 hrs so I was hungry and stunk. As soon as we got home I just stripped, grabbed a piece of bread, and showered. I was completely nude around both of them and it was in no way sexual. I was only thinking about showering and sleeping in my bed. while it's possible to be nonsexually nude around family, what these two have is fucking weird. She cuddled her mom like I'd cuddle my partner. These two need boundaries. Nudity is normal, but what these two have is not.
The mom turned her daughter into the partner she didn't have. Now she wants to move on but the daughter feels like she's being broken up with. This is disgusting. And I feel bad for the kid, she needs therapy.
Yes I think it's a step in the right direction that the mom is starting to understand that they may be TOO close but the mom is the one who was allowing that behavior, even though she's 27 now, she's been a child for almost all of their relationship and she was allowed to act like that and that behavior was validated from her mother, but because it's starting to affect her now she wants to backtrack but SHE'S the one who created her daughter's attachment
As a nudist, I don’t see anything wrong with family being naked in front of each other as bodies are not inherently sexual and there are many nudist families that live this way. However, the lack of boundaries between these two is very concerning.
@@fairygodmother139 kids should be able to understand bodies especially their own as not inherently sexual and not things they should grow up being ashamed of. I absolutely am against sexualizing kids but kids experiencing non sexual nudity is not inappropriate, and kids love being naked and free
@@fairygodmother139 it’s also common in many cultures for families to bathe together and it’s not a weird sexual thing, it’s just getting clean and being comfortable around each other
i can definitely understand and agree with this to a certain extent, but i think once they reach a certain age it should definitely stop or at least lessen like… a lot, in my opinion. but different cultures and different people have their own practices which is totally cool 👌
@@fairygodmother139I mean being naked in front of your kid is fine? When I was younger my mom taught me how to shower by her showering with me because I didn’t like baths. It’s not sexual. My mothers body made me and my body was made by hers. I’ve even showered with my nieces. To be fair we were all minors. But it’s a normal thing especially in many cultures. Being weird about your own family seeing you naked means you see it sexual. Which is a big issue in western culture. If I have a child im not going to kick them out of my room if I’m changing and If they want to shower with me I’ll let them. Even now as an adult. If I wanted to change in front of my mother I’d be fine. Of course there’s boundaries and if you weren’t close with your family then of course that’s your boundaries. But it’s rude for you to act that way of someone else’s life.
The scene where they massage each other made me SO uncomfortable and hit way too close to home. I was forced to give my mother massages all the time. When I was little, it was just thing where she'd ask for one because I was good at it and she suffers from chronic pain. But then I was seventeen, and uncomfortable because I didn't really want to be that physically close with her anymore, but she would beg and guilt me into it when she had a husband that would do literally anything for her. This lady, honest to god, would sit there and moan as I did it. Felt very gross. She was inappropriate in other ways as well, walking around naked all the way until I moved out, leaving her "things" in the bathroom where I would stumble across them, and openly discussing her niche fetishes not only around me, but TO me. On one hand, I was given a very good sex education and exposed to lots of sex positivity which has made me a better, healthier person, but her behavior certainly crossed into inappropriate and has honestly left me with hangups. What kills me is that she's convinced my father sexually abused me by getting me a laptop when I was younger that I ended up using to look at porn 🙄
yeah you voluntarily looking up porn with a laptop your dad gave you is deeeeeefinitely abuse, but leaving out sexual items, demanding physical closeness against your wishes, and openly discussing her sex life with you was totally normal 🙄 i swear some people just lack any and all self awareness
my partner went through and is still sometimes bombarded with something very similar with their mother, right down to the double-edged very comprehensive sex-ed, and it makes!!! me!!!! furious!!!!! the sex-ed is brilliant, but the constant crossing of physical and emotional boundaries? i would slap my mother-in-law full in the face if i could get away with it, i swear. theres truly an unholy amount of enmeshment in that woman. i feel like this kind of abuse is invisible more often than not because there is such a massive bias when it comes to women vs men predating on young people, especially if the young person is their own child of the same sex. women just arent seen as beings capable of harm, much less any kind of sexual harm, and my god the generations of trauma this leaves. it wasnt my mother, but i was also creeped on and had a lot of boundaries crossed by an adult woman when i was a young teenager and it was never taken seriously by anyone, including myself, until only a few years ago. you're absolutely not alone mate- i hope you're doing okay
wow, exact same situation here down to the extensive sex ed; only excluding the father part. i hate to say it's nice to not feel completely alone for once, I thought I was crazy to feel violated with my mother acting like that. hang in there 🫂
You can draw a straight line with this one. Here are the clues: 1. “You have always been a child at heart and I am an old soul.” 2. “It’s just been the two of us since I was 9.” 3. Mom initiates these super childish games with the child, but it seems she gets the most out of it. 4. They have ALWAYS done these sorts of things…. 100% together. 5. Child is OVERLY protective of mom…. When you parentify a child and infantilize yourself… that child thinks you are their charge. They cross wires about how much you can care for yourself. So yes she probably did think she NEEDS to vet anyone getting close to the mom.
I KNEW Paula looked familiar. She was on a Snapchat show called Second Chance, where exes reunite and try to work out their differences. Paula got hired by the girlfriend of one of the couples to see if the boyfriend would take the bait and cheat. It turned out that Paula lied to the gf and and told her that she had sex with the bf when that actually wasn't the case. I'm like 100% sure that was fake, but it was crazy recognizing her in this lil weird ass incest show.
I mean Francia literally created this dynamic. She’s the parent, she had every opportunity to set boundaries and exhibit more healthy behaviors, but she didn’t. So of course Paula is only going to exhibit that unhealthy obsession with her mom, it is literally all she has known. And it has long been encouraged, as evidenced by the beginning clip. I feel like you aren’t giving Francia enough blame.
Yo, this mom has completely messed up her child. You are supposed to learn healthy boundaries and relationships from your parents. The mom is literally the reason WHY her daughter is acting out the way she is. Like, people can say whatever they want about how she's an adult and should know better but how are you supposed to know better if this unhealthy relationship with your mother is all you've ever known? AND THE MOM ENCOURAGES IT. I really hope that the daughter is able to get away and get help, therapy, and support away from her mom because wow she has been messed up by her mom.
Right? I really didn’t understand all the sympathizing with the mom. She’s literally the one at fault for all of this. She was the adult, she set up AND MAINTAINED this dynamic. How the fuck is she gonna act all shocked that her child now has serious codependency and abandonment issues?
i fully agree the mom caused this and is getting her karma for it. i have sympathy for the child paola was when this began. she wasnt responsible for the abuse that happened, but she is responsible for managing how she behaves now. it's clear that this isn't a situation of genuinely being unaware that most parents and children arent like this with each other being that she actively signed up for a show where the literal requirement for casting is "be extremely codependent and borderline incestuous in all ways except actually having sex with each other" she obviously has some self awareness that how she thinks, behaves, and feels towards her mom is abnormal, and even asks "is this weird??" but instead of seeking help to learn better thoughts and boundaries she and her mother go on the modern day freakshow that is TLC instead of finding a psychologist to sort through her trauma. paola could try to change, but doesn't want to.
I am a Latina from Venezuela, people dont get FULL naked in front of family but bikinis are pretty much norm. Also this is the kind of boudaryless relationship my mother wanted with me. We watched Grey Gardens and she said she hoped thats is us in the future. We too emmigrated when i was 9 to canada. She always called me her "doll" and i became the parent to a woman that had no self control. I am now 34, gone no contact and reparenting and healing every day. I am quick to call it unhealthy but we will never know how each truly feels thats for them to figure out.
Ohhhh this…. SCREAMS sexual abuse of the daughter from a young age. And a crap ton of emotional manipulation. I’ve had similar mothers in my family, can spot it from miles away. It’s so sad and messed up.
yeah then getting mad at her for crashing her date..idk man, this is normally what's messed up about age gap relationships but it being parent kid is 1000x worse
my parents are hippies. we’ve always changed in front of each other, but they made it clear to me when I was a kid that everyone has different boundaries (and that i should express my boundaries too). we all agree that bodies are not inherently sexual, so getting dressed / undressed around each other was never uncomfortable. we would all just kind of do our own things going about our routines getting ready or whatnot. i feel like the glaring issue with the whole nudity thing is Paula’s overall lack of boundaries/ inability to respect the boundaries of others. I so agree with the comments saying that Franzia raised her to be this way. She created this codependency in her daughter & i just hope they can both work on that to have a healthier relationship (and also healthier individual lives!) also i am still besties with my mom to this day. sometimes we share clothes. sometimes we hang out the way friends do. we are literally each others best friend, but have lives aside from that,,, i think I’m just really grateful to have an angel of a mom lmao
Lowkey reminds me of when people don't teach puppies how to be by themselves/without them, so when they grow up, they end up with separation anxiety/codependency. 😭
My thought on this is, that when they came from Columbia, her mom was literally the only person she had in a totally new enviorment. So she probably became a little bit obsessed with her and got some serious attachment issues because she just can't imagine losing the one person that was there for her and that basically got her through a (probably) rough time.
As soon as I heard “My mom is a kid at heart and I’m more mature” I knew that Paula was ultimately the real victim here. That only really solidified as the video went on, it’s so clear that her abandonment issues and separation anxiety is BECAUSE of her mother Of course what Paula is doing is bad. Then again, she’s never been raised properly. We can look at this rationally and figure out a solution, but Paula’s mind has been so warped and it’s depressing But yes. This TLC show is SEVERELY UNCOMFORTABLE to watch hahaha
I’m super trying to take of my America glasses here. I can see being nude around family being fine because it’s a safe environment, but it’s the fact that Paula wants to be naked with her mom all the time is what’s weirding me out
European here who grew up in a home where we dont really mind/ care about seeing eatchother nude or being nude infront of eatchother. This is definitely weird. Me and my family don't go out of our way to be naked with eatchother like this...
Being naked around your family isn’t weird. Honestly if it was just “I don’t mind being naked around my mother” I wouldn’t even think of it. But her obsession and controlling attitude is what makes them being naked together weird.
@@Sorry_i_eated_it For real! I'm latina raised in spanish, so more hispanic impossible. To your mother to see you naked is not weird, but it limits to the time of getting out of the shower and asking for the towel that you forgot Not literally making her breakfast naked, the fuck
this isn't common here in South America. There's some indigenous reservations where nudity is more common, but in these cultures they have a different comprehension of the relations of nudity and sexuality, also they have boundaries that this mother definitely doesn't have with her daughter. What is normal here is to change in front of people of the same sex that you know and is comfortable with or bathing with your kids to teach them, but what these women are doing is insane and definitely not acceptable in LATAM/Colombia
I think the difference lies between, “Oh my mum happened to see me naked( no big deal )” vs “Im being naked in front of my mum (without a good reason like needing help applying ointments, it feels weird). This is shat I feel as an Indian who has always lived in India.
I think the focus is too much on the daughter and not enough on the parent who made her that way. Also the dynamic of a single parent is deeper too, you’ll always worry however long your parent it gone for bc they are the only person you have. This is not a healthy relationship in the slightest, but the mother created this, not the child even if that child is also an adult.
it almost feels like the daughter is treating her mom like a girlfriend, especially with how jealous she got and the vibe when she told her “i think you should see someone else”
It's giving The Strange Thing About the Johnsons vibes. If you haven't seen it, it's a movie about how a son is in love with his father. This mother/daughter interaction reminded me of that right away. I recommend the movie if you haven't seen it, it's only 30mins long.
I agree that Paula's behavior shouldn't be excused, HOWEVER, with what we're shown from the show Mom has fostered this clinging behavior until perhaps recently. Now Mom wants her own independence to do what she wants, but her daughter is taken aback by this switch up in their usual routine.
Without the context of knowing they are mother and daughter it would seem like Paula is in love with Francia. Shes acting like a jealous and possesive girlfriend. Its honestly so unfortunate that their relationship dynamic feels like something that would be in a dark romance book but the red flags werent raised sooner because theyre both women.
As much as I feel Francia should have her own life outside of Paula, she should have attempted to create a much more healthy relationship with her daughter beforehand. Since they left Columbia with only each other, it makes sense on why Paula is overprotective of her mom, since that was the *only person* she had. And if, age-wise, Francia had her when she was only 19, it makes sense on why she still acts like a young adult. She was still pretty young and probably formed this unhealthy relationship with her daughter so she can grow up with her. This is probably why the roles are reversed and why their relationship is so co-dependent and *WAYYY TOO CLOSE.* Is what they are doing okay? Definitely not. But is it because they only had each other? Yes. I’m just hoping they realize that this behavior is not appropriate and work their way into *a private life of their own.* It’s perfectly okay to be close to your mom or kid, but when you are doing whatever the hell they were doing, you need to get some help.
Though if they actually really are mother-daughter, its clear the mother fostered these feelings of codependency and incestuous actions, after all, the mother raised her. The daughters actions arent okay, but its clearly caused by her mother never setting boundaries before this
I still dont feel bad for Francia because she literally did this to her daughter. She tried to put her foot down and then immediately enabled her daughter again by allowing her to touch her like that. If francia was serious, she would be doing everything she could to get paula in therapy before alejandra got there bc id be seriously concerned for that childs safety around someone so territorial and anxiously attached.
Personally, I don't feel very comfortable being unclothed in front of my mother, but it's very common, for example, for me to be chatting to her while she's taking a shower or getting changed, but the way they do it or the way they talk to each other? Not a chance.
The mom deserves ever bit of what she is getting because this is the result of raising a child into adulthood with barely any boundaries and you expect her not to get upset when you try to set some boundaries when she is already well into adulthood? This is so freaking weird though it's like she replaced her husband with her daughter and now the daughter is the pants of the relationship.
I believe in non sexual nudity. I’m also not naked in front of my four year old. He’s forming memories, I do NOT want one of his first memories to be “seeing my mom naked”.
I’m a woman and yeah, my mom has been nude around me just changing clothes while we chat but my dad has NEVER been nude around me. They knew that was inappropriate as I got older and I’m grateful they did that lol I do not want to see my father naked 🤮🤮🤮🤮
Separation anxiety, trauma bonding, codependency. I feel so bad for the daughter, after such a relationship ALL THE WAY INTO ADULTHOOD of course its gonna be hopelessly triggering for her. Does not necessarily excuse the behavior, but there is OBVIOUS reason for it.
The mother does nothing but enable her daughters behavior, she’s being too nice reassuring her that “they’ll still be super close” instead of actually establishing any boundaries the daughter needs a reality check and therapy
My mother wanted no boundaries, so I was the one who had to put them in place after she got worse and worse. Maybe the worst was her peeping in at me whilst I was changing in clothes stores. It culminated in a screaming session against my mother in the middle of a clothing store for peeking in at me at the shop changing room. She knew for a fact I hated it, but ignored me telling her to stop. Public shaming - very loudly bringing attention to how creepy she was behaving in front of strangers, was literally the only thing that got her to finally knock that shit off.
Honestly, I'm all for platonic romance, but when it comes to family that and no physical boundaries does make me gag 🤢 like love each other all you want but don't be naked😭
@@someonesomeone3729 the mother raised the daughter, teaching her that what they are doing is okay and that led to the daughter being overly possessive, because she doesnt know better doesnt matter if the daughter is "old enough to know better" it seems she doesnt have friends outside her mother, who can tell her that this is wrong plus the mom finally realises that her actions have consequenses, but still telling her daughter that "they will be together" is reinforcing this inappropiate relationship both need therapy very much so, but ultimately this is the mother's fault
@@adricsoti3719 ahhh i see i only watched what was in the video so i wasn’t sure if there was like, abuse or something like that. i’m assuming that she did to so that’s why she’s taken the side she has? though i still agree with the overall sentiment that the daughter is not right in the boundaries and asking her mother to choose, but at the same time the mother is not right and is reaping what she’s sown as this is what she’s basically asked for with her actions towards her kid. good to know the full context!! if this is actually real (it feels like reaaaaally bad acting if it’s not lol) they both get therapy before that kid comes because i worry for what that little girl would be walking into
I'm kind of on the fence about the nudity thing. I'm German, and nudity here is definitely somewhat more normalized. It's not always seen as sexual like in the US which I think is a good thing. Nude beaches are quite common here. I personally wouldn't run around naked in front of my parents, but in my exes' family for example it was completely normal that one person would go brush their teeth while someone else was in the shower. I've also been in the sauna with him, his parents, his sister and her bf. It was a little awkward but in the end you just don't stare and it's fine. What these 2 are doing definitely seems excessive, but then I'm not exactly sure where I would draw the line.
Yeah, I'm from Finland and i'd definitely say nudity is more normalized here as well, like adults can definitely go to the sauna naked with their family or friends (or with strangers if it's a public sauna) and there's nothing sexual about it. But that's more situational, i don't think people generally seek out to spend time naked in bed with their family like these two on the video 😅 the lack of boundaries is very concerning here
@@rosvokisuYep, as a half-Finnish person, I can add my voice to that. It was normal to be in the sauna together. I was in Finland this year's spring and was in the sauna with two nakey ladies, just chatting. But what these two are doing in the video, it feels really awkward and emotionally unhealthy.
You inspired me to buy a big a$$ holographic folding fan. I took it with me to the beach, when I snapped it open I startled a nearby child. You’d be proud🧡🤍🩷💜
Paula needs some serious therapy and more friends. Ultimately its the moms fault as the parent for fostering this toxic dynamic between them, but Paula is clearly experiencing some severe separation anxiety and one of the worst cases of codependency ive ever seen.
6:33 It's common where I live in the US. Not chilling naked together, but if someone forgets to take something to the shower, or needs to walk between rooms to get clothes, nobody cares.
the whole thing with francia saying "SHE needs to touch me, SHE needs a hug, SHE needs me to do these things" is true yes, it is paula's request, but francia is the one who built this mindset. both of them deserve blame i think. it's good to know that the mom knows the connection is unhealthy though!!
As a Latina (colombian/venezuelan), I can understand where they are coming from about the nakedness, I don’t think we would be necessarily uncomfortable seeing our mom/daughter naked but it’s definitely not “let’s get naked to hang out” kinda thing. It could technically be a cultural thing to not be ashamed of being naked around ur family, but is also not a tradition or like a super common thing in our cultures. Also if it was, is just a girl thing, personally never saw my dads or brothers asscheeks in my life, but I know exactly how my sisters knockers look like. Hope this doesn’t sound too weird lol.
I’ve seen my mum naked once or twice, recently she got really drunk and really needed help getting into the shower, but situations like that is the only time where it’s ‘normal’ to see a family member naked (or if it’s an emergency)
I got so scared when she started flying off the screen because of the flapping of the fan. “Is this the last I’ll ever see of Annamarie?” I thought to myself. Then, beneath a dark haze, I see her appearing again. Turns out it was just an editing trick! I’m just glad to know that she is home safe
My mom is dating again after my parents recently divorced. Sure, part of me wishes they were together, but they weren't happy. And i want my mom to be happy and find love again. I can't imagine trying to sabotage that and take that away from her
I just discovered your channel the other day and I’m PUMPED that I tuned in just in time for a new video! You’re the embodiment of gender envy and I love you 💖
I had this kind of relationship with my mom. For a long time, I thought it was just that we were super close and thought it was so cool that my mom was my best friend and closest confidant. She was the cool, chill, fun mom. There were literally zero things that were off-limits, including graphic details about our sex lives. After escaping an abusive marriage and having no choice but to move back home, my mom leveraged that relationship and my severe mental health issues and vulnerability and combined forces with her husband to groom me into eventually having a threesome with them, because apparently that was my step-freak's fantasy. Fortunately my current partner got me out of the home before the threesome happened (though there was an attempt along with other SA by my step-freak, so it was only a matter of time). After I left, she told me that everything that happened because I was having sex with multiple people (I was single and 23, so nothing unusual) and because I was parading around the house in "less than nothing". Which means that I was living in my childhood home and occasionally walked around the house in a tank top and pajama pants, with or without a bra. Now I recognize how toxic and inappropriate that relationship was.
I lived 9 months in Colombia and have never met people like this. They're less embarrassed of coming out of the shower in underwear in front of you, sure, or this time my roommate had a skin issue and downright took her bra off to ask for help because it hurt a lot (it looked bad, honestly) and it was July 2020 with the hospitals filled to the brim, but it's not like they did it just casually and slept naked with anyone who wasn't their partner, especially not with family :|
Yeah, this is emotional incest. Nudity in front of your family? Fine in certain contexts. Your parent being your best friend? Totally fine. These two? They're so co-dependent that Paula feels like if her mom gets anyone else in her life, she will immediately be abandoned. Francesca seems to be sort of aware of this and HAS to push her daughter away a little. Someone has to get their feelings hurt. There's no way nice way around this because Paula's going to keep stepping forward with every gentle step away.
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@@amaliciousgoose Same here! I've been playing for a little while now and it's my favorite mobile game.
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Love & Piss
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Francia raised Paula to be like this and then decided it wasn't as convenient for her anymore and is confused that Paula is behaving in the same way she always has. I feel for Paula. She's been set up to fail, basically
That is an interesting theory. I too think that a lot of this is a sub product of her parenting. In some ways, she has it correct. You should be pro loving your body, I think sexual liberation is also important theme to her mother, but that should maybe come with the caveat that you impart ethics and personal responsibility into your adult child so they do those things safely at the same time.
I have a different theory. I think Paoula is a lesbian, but very insecure about it. In serious denial, actually. So, somewhere along the way she may have wanted to embrace that part of herself, but developed this unhealthy bond bc she may like the feelings of being with naked with another female, but struggling with debilitating self hatred, so afraid of rejection. Who is the one person that cannot reject you? Your mother. She could be modeling the behaviors that one would have in a romantic way because of how she was raised. In normal adolescence, one would outgrow the "mommy, when I grow up we're going to get married and do everything together" around 6, if not well before. But I think her fear of abandonment, mixed with being exposed to a hyper sexualized example of intimacy at a very young age was the perfect storm of events. Especially when you consider their lack of boundaries. A good psychotherapist could be absolutely revolutionary in both their lives.
Paoula is not going to like the process of growth and the setting of boundaries, but I think this is repairable, I really do. I'm ngl, I think this is going to be really tough for both of them, but it's so vital for good health to establish some rules and create space for new life experiences. This just isn't healthy or sustainable. Things could be soooo much better for both of them. I am so surprised that I missed this, I was subscribed! This is crazy!!!
This is interesting too, because Paula is kind of justified in her fear of losing her mom to a date. They do nasty dating things together as mother and daughter, which is obviously f*cked up, but if her mom got a boyfriend or something, he would literally replace her daughter! He would take Paula’s spot in her mom’s bed! Normally you can reassure your kids that no one will ever replace them, but in this case, Francia has warped the relationship with her daughter so much that she would actually be putting her daughter out at that point. Not to mention, the trauma that Paula would experience!
This comment needs to be pinned, this is exactly it. Paula is acting this way because this is what her mother taught and encouraged of her. She would have no reference for how to be "normal". So it's hard to blame Paula for not knowing that she's acting poorly/ inapropriate, when she would have no way of knowing otherwise.
This is really really well put
@@celestialgems8762literally so much media out there exists showing that this behavior is not the norm. She should have SOME idea.
The relationship they have feels like emotional incest /g
Paula is a grown-ass woman and can take responsibility for herself now. Normally I do think the parents are to blame but in this case, Paula needs to get some damn therapy and needs to start taking control of her own life, making her own friends, and realising how narcissistic she is. If anything, based on that final scene, Paula is literally abusing her mum. If she were a man in a relationship, we'd call that abuse - she's taken control of the power dynamic and is refusing to let go. No amount of childhood trauma or bad parenting would excuse that.
I'm from Brazil and I live in a women-only household, and, yeah, we're relatively comfortable with being naked around each other... But for SHORT PERIODS OF TIME (like changing while being in the same room). WANTING to be naked with your mom ALL THE TIME IN BED is definitely not common
We are from Puerto Rico and also have a woman dominated house, we are the same way!!! SHORT PERIODS and we respect and knock on doors. I don't understand that.
Yup this is my experience, short amounts of time, like I'll be in my room nakey and if I need to run to the bathroom right next to the room I dash there, but naked in the kitchen? That's a safety hazard hahaha
i live in a woman only household (if you ignore the dog but he's fixed so it doesn't count lol)and let me tell you when my mom walks in on me changing i damn near scream,idk what they're doing but it's not normal
SIMM, EXATAMENTE
I'm from the US and out family is very much like this as well. Getting change in front of each other, walking from one room to the next for a moment. About anything that would happen in a locker room another place where people happen to be naked around others for short periods of time. But the things going on in this house are weird and crosses a line. This mother used her daughter and their relationship to fill the space of a romantic relationship.
Paola’s issues were CREATED. No matter how her mom postures as the less clingy one- this unhealthy dynamic is Francia’s monster.
totally
As a south american latina I can say have never meet someone from colombia who has no boundaries when it comes to bodily boundaries. That is definitely NOT a cultural thing.
dang they really tried to lump y’all in with their shenanigans smh
@@Starsongzzas a Colombian person who lives in Colombia, this is some slander
I can't believe these people really tried to drag the whole country with them
Like you're a weirdo here too tf you mean.
@@Isabella-vx3bc You're taking it too personally. It could just be among who they know.
@@GeteMachine I'm not taking it seriously, mostly I find it ridiculous
But they did claim "this is normal in Colombia" it's not
I promise you it's not, I've lived here my whole life
So it is kinda personal if you're doing something so weird and saying it's normal in a country
They could have said it is normal in their family
Claiming is the whole country? Nah
@blikpic it's mind boggling to take a bad personal trait and attribute it to your culture, Isabella is the just right amount of annoyed. You saying otherwise is gatekeepy and cringe.
this feels like a classic case of a child being turned into a romantic partner by a parent who lacks a love life and the mom is having to deal with these consequences, i feel no sympathy for the mother since shes the one who cultivated the entire bases of this relationship and shes realizing "oh i fucked up" so now shes mad at her daughter who is only portraying the character her mother imposed on her.
i also noticed that in a moment in the clip where the mother asks "how would you feel if i did that to you?" the daughter starts to infantilize herself with a higher and nasally voice and starts using "mommy" as a way to get her mothers affection again. its really odd and makes me wonder how her childhood was in full if shes able to revert to that to get her mothers anger out of the picture?
Yep, they're literally romantic partners and that's what's fucking weird. Like, there is now way to make a distinction between them and a normal couple besides sex, and that's a huge problem.
You really lack empathy I can't tell you never experience something like that. I'm sure her intention were pure at first. She didn't see that coming. She just love her child. It's look like she is kissing her or other stuff. She now realize the problem and try to do her best
Yes, noticed that too! She's reverting in front of our eyes
@@Xoxocutegirl its called emotional incest and its child abuse. She doesn't deserve empathy when she's blaming Paula for her own selfish "parenting" which is more like grooming.
as a non-american i’m still beyond confused why shows like these are featured on (and produced by?) “the learning channel” WHAT ARE WE LEARNING??
It used to be educational. Then they realized drama and shock gets better views. They just didn't change the name.
To not do that, I suppose 😂
Learning what not to do
We're learning how disturbing the human race truly is
we're learning that we're all doing ok :~)
100% emotional lnc3st on the part of the mom. i feel bad for the daughter for being put in this situation and then to be framed as the villain. its just really sad for her.
I mean Paula is still ultimately the victim here and I have no sympathy for Francia. Her mother should have kept their relationship within healthy boundaries and now she has to suffer the consequences of creating such a deeply codependent relationship with her daughter during such crucial years of her development. I feel awful for this girl because I don't know how she's going to manage life when her mother eventually passes or really does get married to another man and finally establishes these boundaries. Paula probably doesn't know HOW to form relationships because her mother kept her all to herself since she was a CHILD...
Like no, what Paula's doing isn't right, but she wouldn't be doing this if her mother hadn't kept her all to herself and leaned on her so heavily. This scream emotional abuse from Paula and the fact she just does not seem to realize that all of this is her own damn fault is really sickening to me.
this is a very great perspective that i didn't even think of while filming. i'm glad you brought it up!
Yeah, I really tried to be open to this relationship-I’m waspy as fuck and we are not like this-but the time for keeping track of when you’re pooping ends when kids are potty trained. This is not a healthy relationship.
Imagine what Paula is going to be like when a child enters this picture! She can’t keep walking around naked all the time, for one. They’re going to have to make accommodations for the way Alejandra was raised.
It feels like Francia clung to Paula and parentified her a bit at the same time, and now that Francia is feeling more confident and comfortable in the US, Paula has no resources for self soothing or developing outside relationships.
I was waiting for someone to bring this up. I’ve always try to be patient with people because I know, ultimately, we’re a product of our ancestors issues. At least to some degree. Although I’ll still piece someone up if I need to, so that only goes so far.
You mostly need to be confident to build connections with other people, but this doesn't affect your confidence. You have to make your child feel like it deserves to be taken seriously and to be accepted which in my opinion she Def does. She respects her daughter and even more. But I can see why she'll still struggle. Bc if you saw enough times that you did something wrong you start thinking that somethings wrong with you. Since she's an immigration background she prob did more mistakes than the local children and therefore doesn't trust in herself as much. Children of immigrants have that often. But I can guarantee you that her mom gave her the best chances to still feel good abt herself
This to be honest
When you’re a child raised to believe “this is how moms and daughters act” and you’re put in a parentified role, you don’t know that other boundaries even exist. The mom set her up for co-dependence and then pushes her away when she doesn’t want her. That must be so confusing and painful for the daughter
Right!! Paula probably has no idea she was basically groomed emotionally (maybe sexually too?) by the mom because this is normal to her. The only way she’s going to change her mindset is if she starts getting female friends, goes to their houses, and sees the relationship between each other. Maybe then she’ll realize her non-existent boundaries with her mom isn’t healthy and she’ll start to healthy separate herself from the mom.
As someone who was born and raised in Colombia before migrating to the U.S., it is in fact not common to be around your family naked; much less “extremely common.”
Right? What Colombia are they in 😂
Bruh I called my Columbian best friend in the middle of this because I couldn’t keep watching without knowing. I was low key gonna never see Bita, her grandma, the same way again..
But no, my friend was more than confused where the hell this question came from😂😂😂
Oh I'm so glad
@@anamariamejia205I guess every country has an Alabama
@@lindseyjohnson3577off topic I’m Colombian and also call my grandma Bita
Don't get me wrong, Paula is ABSOLUTELY manipulative and inappropriate, but... I just have this to say about the mother: you reap what you sow. I'm willing to bet that she 100% has instilled all this in to her, intentionally or not
Right, she raised her to be this clingy
I dont mind being naked infront of my mother or dad and only if its for a short period of time. It's not a big deal i grew up in a house where we were taught that bodies aren't inherintly sexual but we still understand that THERE IS A LINE. And we definitely don't go OUT OF OUR WAY TO BE NAKED INFRONT OF EATCHOTHER. And WANTING to be naked around your parent and being naked around them like 24/7 is....uhm fucking weird yeah wtf
Yup, exactly same situation with my family. This stuff is crossing so so many boundaries
was gonna come comment the same. I see my mother naked occasionally and her vice versa but thats like strictly while we're changing. This is such a crazy different level.
same thing with me (only my mom though) and even then we still have bounderies!
Yep
ya. i got a major injury recently and my mom had to bathe me for the first time since i was like 5 i would guess. it wasn’t uncomfortable for me, she was just helping me feel better by being clean. it’s about the context of the nudity that makes it comfortable or not for me
I feel so bad for Alejandra man imagine being adopted by your aunt and moving somewhere new and finding out this is the relationship between your aunt and cousin I’d be so uncomfortable living there😭😭
Francia wants to cross boundaries when *she* wants to and wants Paula to be okay with it when *she’s* okay with it, but she failed to form healthy boundaries in her child growing up and now she’s mad that the child doesn’t know better.
This exactly. She very much groomed her child, and now she's an adult with separation anxiety and no boundaries. She succeeded in her goal!
Yeah…this is definitely the moms doing. Something similar happened to my wife and her mom (not this extreme) after her mom got divorced. My mother in law groomed her into an extremely codependent, role reversed, unhealthy relationship. Eventually my wife broke free around 20.
Sounds like the mom just created a “monster” and now regrets it. With no accountability lol
YES
This dynamic is pretty concerning tbh. Definetly seems like Paula was parentified as a kid and she doesn't even realise it. Francia should've set these boundaries years ago.
She was definitely groomed to take care of her mother's emotional needs while her own were being ignored
@@AleTitanand then she's getting an argument when she acts in ways she was taught to act. Like, miss mom, YOU made her this way.
What Paula has done is shitty, but it's frustrating to watch her mother act like she doesn't know where this is coming from.
To me this just screams like... the mom didnt have any relationships when her daughter was young so projected all of her social needs onto a child who felt obligated to fulfill them to the best of her ability.
Hence the whole mother/daughter role reversal thing, Paula probably grew up feeling like she needed to take care of her mom all the time, and just accepted that as what a normal parent/child relationship is and never stopped as an adult to reflect that it was super unhealthily codependent. And so she doesn't get how her mom is now, seemingly all of a sudden, having other important relationships with people, because her mom never taught her how to set boundaries or form relationships with anyone else.
That's just my take tho, i don't know these people.
I think the mom was a single mama in her 20s with very little social support if I’m guessing right.
I think this is spot on
Yeah the mom made her kid so dependent on her
Bingo! I'm sure this is exactly or atleast most likely what happened. Our cognitive abilities plays a huge role in this as well as emotional vulnerability.
yep, francia parentified/emotionally incest with paula and now she’s doesn’t understand why paula is treating her like a partner instead of a parent
I feel like the mom definitely was committing emotional incest while her daughter was growing up, and as the result, now she's 27 with severely disordered attachment and no independence. This is ultimately the mother's fault. Not okay.
It’s not that weird to be naked around your mom in the right context (spa, changing, etc). What’s weird about it is the frequency/closeness to another and the obsession of the nudity being important.
It's the wanting to be close while naked that makes it messed up, normal naked is politely not looking too much and not touching the way they do
Yeah exactly, like me and my mom sometimes are naked because we're changing or i forgot my clothes and shit. Like- IT'S NOT ALL THE TIME AND SOMETIMES I NEED
Love how the mom acts like she didn't start and set all of this up in the first place. The weirdness had to start with the parent.
im colombian and I have literally never heard of being fully naked in front of your family man what the hell
LITERALLY MY SAME REACTION
You... never heard of nudists? Really?
@@dataexpunged93N15 u seem to lack some critical information. my comment is clearly in relation to the fact tht the mother claimed being naked in front of ur family as a general behavior was normal in colombia. hope this helps 👍
It’s really sad honestly. As much as Paula seems manipulative and very possessive, her trying to ruin her mom’s relationships is pretty normal as she is right now acting as the former boyfriend meaning the second her mother gets a bf, she won’t be sleeping with her mother anymore which she has done FOREVER. Obviously the unhealthy attachment is present but that’s 100% Francia’s fault. She never draw any boundaries and she’s not realizing it 27 years later ? Those 27 year old habits are NOT gonna leave anytime soon. Pretty selfish of her I really feel bad for Paula cuz that’s gonna take YEARRRSSS of therapy and work to try and fix those boundaries etc
"Are we weird?" Yes. Literally yes. And this coming from an autistic person. I have the clinical diagnosis of weird and I think you're weird.
I'm AuDHD and I second this
the clinical diagnosis of weird!!!!!!! that’s so funny
I like your humour, but then again I make similar jokes about my autism lol
lol same
SKSKSK SAME I can't stop laughing 😭
As a Finn I can say that while nudity is usually not a big deal here (thanks to the sauna culture; I've seen almost all of my friends and immediate family naked and it's never been treated as being weird), it does have its time and place. I could NEVER just casually stroll around my mom's house naked.
Another Finn here to confirm, you live here and you will see your friends and family naked in the sauna sooner or later!
Also if you go to swimming halls here be prepared to see naked people in the changing rooms and showers (though they are separated to male and female areas). Might sound weird for some, but in all honestly it's good for your own body image to see all kinds of natural bodies even from a young age. Going around naked while not in a bathing area is beyond me though...
Idk I feel like while the daughter being so possessive of her mom isn’t good, we have to look at the relationship as a whole and how the mom has probably massively fucked her up. It’s disgusting to teach you child that these behaviors are okay and I’m a little surprised how you’re talking the Mom’s side so much more here. She was the adult here and who knows what kind of emotional and sexual abuse she has inflicted on her daughter to make her they way she is.
I definitely suspect the mother initiated inappropriate contact with the daughter when she was young and is an abuser
The extreme lack of boundaries has me really concerned as to how deep that lack goes. The minute you start actually pooping together with your kid I think you've lost the plot entirely
We have no proof of CSA but between the nakedness and massages and Paula's separation anxiety, I sadly wouldn't be shocked
I honestly am not sure she is aware how she has fucked her daughter up.
She genuinely doesn't seem to understand why her daughter has no boundaries-especially around dating in particular.
And I don't see any signifiers of sexual abuse here. So I don't think we should just be throwing that kind of accusation around. That's for victims to disclose when they are ready, and not for random internet strangers to speculate on.
@@FIRING_BLIND bro… they sleep naked together? As a 27 year old, she had to be groomed at a young age to think that’s okay. Also, her daughter gave her a massage while she was naked under a towel. Whether she considers it sexual or not is irrelevant, these behaviors have sexual undertones and are not appropriate and for the daughter to find that to be normal signifies abuse in my eyes. When’s the last time you took a parent/child poop together with your parent or guardian? Like what the hell is that.
It’s a bit strange you think it’s not abusive and how would it be inappropriate to call someone out if you think they’re abusing their kid, It’s often people sitting idly by that allows situations like this to worsen. I actually knew a girl who was on one of these shows with her mom and let me tell you, these types of moms that are crazy enough to show this on camera get up to way worse behind the scenes.
I don't think there was any sexual abuse. Just way over stepping boundaries and making her be codependent on her. My mom did something similar and I had to break away slowly. It pained me not going over her house every weekend but I slowly got over it. Now I'm totally fine being away from her and admitting to the abuse.
This is disgusting. Clearly the mother groomed her daughter to be her stand in mother/spouse and now that it's inconvenient she's pushing her away. And that woman is adopting another young girl. Disgusting. The mother is a predator. If she were a man he'd be in jail, like she should be.
I feel really bad for Paula :( her behavior sucks but it feels like she hasn't had a life outside of her mom. she comes across like she got parentified especially after moving countries and then now she's more childish from not being able to grow up right. and she seeks validation constantly from her mom who's more "like a kid at heart". that's why she comes across like a "jealous ex". I hope she can get therapy
Yes it seems like she had to mother her mother, be her friend and emotional support her entire life. She doesn't seem it as a problem because it's all she knows. Her mother clearly takes advantage of it and enjoys the perks of their relationship, until it's inconvenient. Then she wants her to grow up and live her own life
The mum isen't even offering to help her build a life of her own i think its the mum who needs to grow up she blatantly raised her daughter to use her as a substitute partner and is now surprised shes acting like feels like shes being cheated on now her mum who she has been conditioned to treat as her everything met someone else and thinks nothing of just tossing her daughter aside with no one else to turn to for a sense of connection or belonging she needs to take some responsibility and not just push her out now she has other people in her life @@JournalNthoughts
@@JournalNthoughts yeah for me this definitely feels like parentification with some sprinkles (or rather chunks) of emotional incest
I feel like the fact that she had her at 19 probably played a big part in the projection of a friendship dynamic onto her daughter
To me, it seems like the mother created the unhealthy boundaries with her daughter from the start. There’s no reason her daughter would be so in love with her mother unless the mother nurtured that relationship in the first place. This is basically grooming done to the child by the parent and now the child and the mother are going to suffer for it. Wow. I’m sure this wasn’t the mothers intent but that just goes to show you really do need other people in your life so you don’t become codependent on a child!!!!
THIS. I don't want to assume Francia raised her daughter this way maliciously.
I feel like this is what a lot of boy moms do they want to control everything their "little man" does telling them they are the man of the house and that they need to protect their mom at the age of 7 it's emotional incest
Exactly! It's not even basically grooming, it is LITERAL TEXTBOOK grooming
It seems like Francia used her daughter as an emotional crutch and treated her as more of a buddy than a daughter. So, of course Paula doesn't respect her as a mother figure. She failed to teach her boundaries and respect, and goes on to act shocked when Paula doesn't have limits. They both need a lifetime of therapy, but I don't know how they could recover their relationship after knowing how messed up it was.
I wouldn’t necessarily feel weird being naked around my mom. Obviously there’s always an appropriate time and place for everything though. I’m also the type of person that doesn’t see nudity as a sacred/sexual thing. In a lot of other cultures you bathe w your family or other people! It’s a very American practice to make nudity so taboo.
So true! As a child I took showers with my mom, and if she needed me to help her bathe when she's elderly, I would have NO problem doing that
Yah I took baths with my mom and she obvs dressed me (till like 3rd grade lmao) and I’d prefer for her not to see me naked but I’m not gonna think it’s weird. It’s just personal feeling ig.
I used to have a stricter boundary with my mom about barging in when I was showering or changing but I had to have surgery and she had to help me bathe for like two weeks so now I don’t care as much. It’s not a weird thing in my mind for my mom to grab something out of the bathroom while I’m in the shower
Me as an adult right now would be comfortable being naked in front of my mother. Because it not sexual amend it’s not judgmental. I mean the only time my mom sees me naked is in a changing room at a store. But still I would be comfortable, same with female friends. But also I wouldn’t be laying in bed naked with my mother 😂 just more of my mother doesn’t have to leave the room for me to change because I don’t feel threaten by her
Yeah, I recently got back from a trip overseas, and my partner and mom came to pick me up from the airport. I'd been flying for about 18 hrs so I was hungry and stunk. As soon as we got home I just stripped, grabbed a piece of bread, and showered. I was completely nude around both of them and it was in no way sexual. I was only thinking about showering and sleeping in my bed. while it's possible to be nonsexually nude around family, what these two have is fucking weird. She cuddled her mom like I'd cuddle my partner. These two need boundaries. Nudity is normal, but what these two have is not.
The mom turned her daughter into the partner she didn't have. Now she wants to move on but the daughter feels like she's being broken up with.
This is disgusting. And I feel bad for the kid, she needs therapy.
Yes I think it's a step in the right direction that the mom is starting to understand that they may be TOO close but the mom is the one who was allowing that behavior, even though she's 27 now, she's been a child for almost all of their relationship and she was allowed to act like that and that behavior was validated from her mother, but because it's starting to affect her now she wants to backtrack but SHE'S the one who created her daughter's attachment
Mom created a monster and then wants to back pedal when it's inconvenient for her. This is so toxic and I feel sorry for Paula
As a nudist, I don’t see anything wrong with family being naked in front of each other as bodies are not inherently sexual and there are many nudist families that live this way. However, the lack of boundaries between these two is very concerning.
That’s really weird. Y’all naked in front of kids? 🤢
@@fairygodmother139 kids should be able to understand bodies especially their own as not inherently sexual and not things they should grow up being ashamed of. I absolutely am against sexualizing kids but kids experiencing non sexual nudity is not inappropriate, and kids love being naked and free
@@fairygodmother139 it’s also common in many cultures for families to bathe together and it’s not a weird sexual thing, it’s just getting clean and being comfortable around each other
i can definitely understand and agree with this to a certain extent, but i think once they reach a certain age it should definitely stop or at least lessen like… a lot, in my opinion. but different cultures and different people have their own practices which is totally cool 👌
@@fairygodmother139I mean being naked in front of your kid is fine? When I was younger my mom taught me how to shower by her showering with me because I didn’t like baths. It’s not sexual. My mothers body made me and my body was made by hers. I’ve even showered with my nieces. To be fair we were all minors. But it’s a normal thing especially in many cultures. Being weird about your own family seeing you naked means you see it sexual. Which is a big issue in western culture. If I have a child im not going to kick them out of my room if I’m changing and If they want to shower with me I’ll let them. Even now as an adult. If I wanted to change in front of my mother I’d be fine. Of course there’s boundaries and if you weren’t close with your family then of course that’s your boundaries. But it’s rude for you to act that way of someone else’s life.
"I mean, it's not that bad. Nudity isn't inherently sexual, they just seem kinda-OH GOD WAIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING STOP IT RIGHT NOW"
The scene where they massage each other made me SO uncomfortable and hit way too close to home. I was forced to give my mother massages all the time. When I was little, it was just thing where she'd ask for one because I was good at it and she suffers from chronic pain. But then I was seventeen, and uncomfortable because I didn't really want to be that physically close with her anymore, but she would beg and guilt me into it when she had a husband that would do literally anything for her. This lady, honest to god, would sit there and moan as I did it. Felt very gross. She was inappropriate in other ways as well, walking around naked all the way until I moved out, leaving her "things" in the bathroom where I would stumble across them, and openly discussing her niche fetishes not only around me, but TO me. On one hand, I was given a very good sex education and exposed to lots of sex positivity which has made me a better, healthier person, but her behavior certainly crossed into inappropriate and has honestly left me with hangups. What kills me is that she's convinced my father sexually abused me by getting me a laptop when I was younger that I ended up using to look at porn 🙄
I’m so sorry you went through this, I hope you are doing okay
yeah you voluntarily looking up porn with a laptop your dad gave you is deeeeeefinitely abuse, but leaving out sexual items, demanding physical closeness against your wishes, and openly discussing her sex life with you was totally normal 🙄 i swear some people just lack any and all self awareness
my partner went through and is still sometimes bombarded with something very similar with their mother, right down to the double-edged very comprehensive sex-ed, and it makes!!! me!!!! furious!!!!! the sex-ed is brilliant, but the constant crossing of physical and emotional boundaries? i would slap my mother-in-law full in the face if i could get away with it, i swear. theres truly an unholy amount of enmeshment in that woman. i feel like this kind of abuse is invisible more often than not because there is such a massive bias when it comes to women vs men predating on young people, especially if the young person is their own child of the same sex. women just arent seen as beings capable of harm, much less any kind of sexual harm, and my god the generations of trauma this leaves. it wasnt my mother, but i was also creeped on and had a lot of boundaries crossed by an adult woman when i was a young teenager and it was never taken seriously by anyone, including myself, until only a few years ago. you're absolutely not alone mate- i hope you're doing okay
wow, exact same situation here down to the extensive sex ed; only excluding the father part. i hate to say it's nice to not feel completely alone for once, I thought I was crazy to feel violated with my mother acting like that. hang in there 🫂
Oh my god, I feel you😭
You can draw a straight line with this one. Here are the clues:
1. “You have always been a child at heart and I am an old soul.”
2. “It’s just been the two of us since I was 9.”
3. Mom initiates these super childish games with the child, but it seems she gets the most out of it.
4. They have ALWAYS done these sorts of things…. 100% together.
5. Child is OVERLY protective of mom….
When you parentify a child and infantilize yourself… that child thinks you are their charge. They cross wires about how much you can care for yourself. So yes she probably did think she NEEDS to vet anyone getting close to the mom.
I KNEW Paula looked familiar. She was on a Snapchat show called Second Chance, where exes reunite and try to work out their differences. Paula got hired by the girlfriend of one of the couples to see if the boyfriend would take the bait and cheat. It turned out that Paula lied to the gf and and told her that she had sex with the bf when that actually wasn't the case. I'm like 100% sure that was fake, but it was crazy recognizing her in this lil weird ass incest show.
OMG I know exactly which clip/couple you're talking about 😭 you right
That’s crazyyyyyy full circle moment
I mean Francia literally created this dynamic. She’s the parent, she had every opportunity to set boundaries and exhibit more healthy behaviors, but she didn’t. So of course Paula is only going to exhibit that unhealthy obsession with her mom, it is literally all she has known. And it has long been encouraged, as evidenced by the beginning clip. I feel like you aren’t giving Francia enough blame.
Yo, this mom has completely messed up her child. You are supposed to learn healthy boundaries and relationships from your parents. The mom is literally the reason WHY her daughter is acting out the way she is. Like, people can say whatever they want about how she's an adult and should know better but how are you supposed to know better if this unhealthy relationship with your mother is all you've ever known? AND THE MOM ENCOURAGES IT. I really hope that the daughter is able to get away and get help, therapy, and support away from her mom because wow she has been messed up by her mom.
Right? I really didn’t understand all the sympathizing with the mom. She’s literally the one at fault for all of this. She was the adult, she set up AND MAINTAINED this dynamic. How the fuck is she gonna act all shocked that her child now has serious codependency and abandonment issues?
i fully agree the mom caused this and is getting her karma for it. i have sympathy for the child paola was when this began. she wasnt responsible for the abuse that happened, but she is responsible for managing how she behaves now.
it's clear that this isn't a situation of genuinely being unaware that most parents and children arent like this with each other being that she actively signed up for a show where the literal requirement for casting is "be extremely codependent and borderline incestuous in all ways except actually having sex with each other" she obviously has some self awareness that how she thinks, behaves, and feels towards her mom is abnormal, and even asks "is this weird??" but instead of seeking help to learn better thoughts and boundaries she and her mother go on the modern day freakshow that is TLC instead of finding a psychologist to sort through her trauma. paola could try to change, but doesn't want to.
I am a Latina from Venezuela, people dont get FULL naked in front of family but bikinis are pretty much norm.
Also this is the kind of boudaryless relationship my mother wanted with me. We watched Grey Gardens and she said she hoped thats is us in the future. We too emmigrated when i was 9 to canada. She always called me her "doll" and i became the parent to a woman that had no self control.
I am now 34, gone no contact and reparenting and healing every day. I am quick to call it unhealthy but we will never know how each truly feels thats for them to figure out.
Francia getting upset at Paula is crazy. Dawg, you’re the reason she’s obsessed with you??
Ohhhh this…. SCREAMS sexual abuse of the daughter from a young age. And a crap ton of emotional manipulation. I’ve had similar mothers in my family, can spot it from miles away. It’s so sad and messed up.
yeah then getting mad at her for crashing her date..idk man, this is normally what's messed up about age gap relationships but it being parent kid is 1000x worse
Watching this in school because no better time to watch Annamarie than the present
@MrMorii_shit. We have a quiz??
@MrMorii_ Nah. I totally forgot
Whenme when timezones(it's 8:17 here)
man i didn't study for the geometry quiz. too bad.
@@catbread5832 3:22 here
my parents are hippies. we’ve always changed in front of each other, but they made it clear to me when I was a kid that everyone has different boundaries (and that i should express my boundaries too). we all agree that bodies are not inherently sexual, so getting dressed / undressed around each other was never uncomfortable. we would all just kind of do our own things going about our routines getting ready or whatnot. i feel like the glaring issue with the whole nudity thing is Paula’s overall lack of boundaries/ inability to respect the boundaries of others. I so agree with the comments saying that Franzia raised her to be this way. She created this codependency in her daughter & i just hope they can both work on that to have a healthier relationship (and also healthier individual lives!)
also i am still besties with my mom to this day. sometimes we share clothes. sometimes we hang out the way friends do. we are literally each others best friend, but have lives aside from that,,, i think I’m just really grateful to have an angel of a mom lmao
let's see what's gonna happen on this episode of hey let's not kiss our family 😁
edit: what in the lesbian incest hell was that 😰
lmao
this is beautiful
This is my favorite comment
The mother is sick and disgusting to have raised her daughter like this! She should be arrested for child abuse and neglect!😡
She had her when she was 19 and hearing that after *"It's just, we are just one."*
TLC be doin some outlandish stuff regularly 😭😭😭😭😭😭
Lowkey reminds me of when people don't teach puppies how to be by themselves/without them, so when they grow up, they end up with separation anxiety/codependency. 😭
very glad grannamarie forcino is still making these videos even though she ages five years every single time she uploads one, happy 70 🎉
My thought on this is, that when they came from Columbia, her mom was literally the only person she had in a totally new enviorment. So she probably became a little bit obsessed with her and got some serious attachment issues because she just can't imagine losing the one person that was there for her and that basically got her through a (probably) rough time.
annamarie got me kicking my feet and blushing everytime she posts
As soon as I heard “My mom is a kid at heart and I’m more mature” I knew that Paula was ultimately the real victim here. That only really solidified as the video went on, it’s so clear that her abandonment issues and separation anxiety is BECAUSE of her mother
Of course what Paula is doing is bad. Then again, she’s never been raised properly. We can look at this rationally and figure out a solution, but Paula’s mind has been so warped and it’s depressing
But yes. This TLC show is SEVERELY UNCOMFORTABLE to watch hahaha
I’m super trying to take of my America glasses here. I can see being nude around family being fine because it’s a safe environment, but it’s the fact that Paula wants to be naked with her mom all the time is what’s weirding me out
European here who grew up in a home where we dont really mind/ care about seeing eatchother nude or being nude infront of eatchother. This is definitely weird.
Me and my family don't go out of our way to be naked with eatchother like this...
Being naked around your family isn’t weird. Honestly if it was just “I don’t mind being naked around my mother” I wouldn’t even think of it. But her obsession and controlling attitude is what makes them being naked together weird.
@@Sorry_i_eated_it For real! I'm latina raised in spanish, so more hispanic impossible. To your mother to see you naked is not weird, but it limits to the time of getting out of the shower and asking for the towel that you forgot
Not literally making her breakfast naked, the fuck
this isn't common here in South America. There's some indigenous reservations where nudity is more common, but in these cultures they have a different comprehension of the relations of nudity and sexuality, also they have boundaries that this mother definitely doesn't have with her daughter. What is normal here is to change in front of people of the same sex that you know and is comfortable with or bathing with your kids to teach them, but what these women are doing is insane and definitely not acceptable in LATAM/Colombia
I think the difference lies between, “Oh my mum happened to see me naked( no big deal )” vs “Im being naked in front of my mum (without a good reason like needing help applying ointments, it feels weird).
This is shat I feel as an Indian who has always lived in India.
they're an adorable sapphic couple!!
wait..
I think the focus is too much on the daughter and not enough on the parent who made her that way. Also the dynamic of a single parent is deeper too, you’ll always worry however long your parent it gone for bc they are the only person you have. This is not a healthy relationship in the slightest, but the mother created this, not the child even if that child is also an adult.
it almost feels like the daughter is treating her mom like a girlfriend, especially with how jealous she got and the vibe when she told her “i think you should see someone else”
It's giving The Strange Thing About the Johnsons vibes. If you haven't seen it, it's a movie about how a son is in love with his father. This mother/daughter interaction reminded me of that right away. I recommend the movie if you haven't seen it, it's only 30mins long.
Boost This because I totally agree
omg i remember this 😭
I agree that Paula's behavior shouldn't be excused, HOWEVER, with what we're shown from the show Mom has fostered this clinging behavior until perhaps recently. Now Mom wants her own independence to do what she wants, but her daughter is taken aback by this switch up in their usual routine.
Without the context of knowing they are mother and daughter it would seem like Paula is in love with Francia. Shes acting like a jealous and possesive girlfriend. Its honestly so unfortunate that their relationship dynamic feels like something that would be in a dark romance book but the red flags werent raised sooner because theyre both women.
Sigmund Freud is doing Irish dances on the back of a horse in his grave omfg
As much as I feel Francia should have her own life outside of Paula, she should have attempted to create a much more healthy relationship with her daughter beforehand. Since they left Columbia with only each other, it makes sense on why Paula is overprotective of her mom, since that was the *only person* she had.
And if, age-wise, Francia had her when she was only 19, it makes sense on why she still acts like a young adult. She was still pretty young and probably formed this unhealthy relationship with her daughter so she can grow up with her. This is probably why the roles are reversed and why their relationship is so co-dependent and *WAYYY TOO CLOSE.*
Is what they are doing okay? Definitely not. But is it because they only had each other? Yes. I’m just hoping they realize that this behavior is not appropriate and work their way into *a private life of their own.* It’s perfectly okay to be close to your mom or kid, but when you are doing whatever the hell they were doing, you need to get some help.
I think Francia is definitely starting to understand that 😂
Things I like:
1. “It’s kinda camp!”
2. The fact that you referred to their dog as “them”
I stg im convinced these 2 are actually dating and lied about being mother-daughter to get on this show
Though if they actually really are mother-daughter, its clear the mother fostered these feelings of codependency and incestuous actions, after all, the mother raised her. The daughters actions arent okay, but its clearly caused by her mother never setting boundaries before this
I'm gonna pretend that's the case to make myself feel better
They do look very similar
I still dont feel bad for Francia because she literally did this to her daughter. She tried to put her foot down and then immediately enabled her daughter again by allowing her to touch her like that. If francia was serious, she would be doing everything she could to get paula in therapy before alejandra got there bc id be seriously concerned for that childs safety around someone so territorial and anxiously attached.
Personally, I don't feel very comfortable being unclothed in front of my mother, but it's very common, for example, for me to be chatting to her while she's taking a shower or getting changed, but the way they do it or the way they talk to each other? Not a chance.
The mom deserves ever bit of what she is getting because this is the result of raising a child into adulthood with barely any boundaries and you expect her not to get upset when you try to set some boundaries when she is already well into adulthood? This is so freaking weird though it's like she replaced her husband with her daughter and now the daughter is the pants of the relationship.
I believe in non sexual nudity. I’m also not naked in front of my four year old. He’s forming memories, I do NOT want one of his first memories to be “seeing my mom naked”.
I’m a woman and yeah, my mom has been nude around me just changing clothes while we chat but my dad has NEVER been nude around me. They knew that was inappropriate as I got older and I’m grateful they did that lol I do not want to see my father naked 🤮🤮🤮🤮
Separation anxiety, trauma bonding, codependency.
I feel so bad for the daughter, after such a relationship ALL THE WAY INTO ADULTHOOD of course its gonna be hopelessly triggering for her. Does not necessarily excuse the behavior, but there is OBVIOUS reason for it.
I lay on my belly and kick the walls when AnnaMarie posts 🙌
The mother does nothing but enable her daughters behavior, she’s being too nice reassuring her that “they’ll still be super close” instead of actually establishing any boundaries
the daughter needs a reality check and therapy
I literally have to limit the time I visit my mother so I dont get mad and annoyed...this is just insane
My mother wanted no boundaries, so I was the one who had to put them in place after she got worse and worse. Maybe the worst was her peeping in at me whilst I was changing in clothes stores.
It culminated in a screaming session against my mother in the middle of a clothing store for peeking in at me at the shop changing room.
She knew for a fact I hated it, but ignored me telling her to stop.
Public shaming - very loudly bringing attention to how creepy she was behaving in front of strangers, was literally the only thing that got her to finally knock that shit off.
Honestly, I'm all for platonic romance, but when it comes to family that and no physical boundaries does make me gag 🤢 like love each other all you want but don't be naked😭
suprised you took the mom's side, considering she's the reason her daughter is acting this way
the daughter is the victim😭
wdym?
@@someonesomeone3729 the mother raised the daughter, teaching her that what they are doing is okay
and that led to the daughter being overly possessive, because she doesnt know better
doesnt matter if the daughter is "old enough to know better" it seems she doesnt have friends outside her mother, who can tell her that this is wrong
plus the mom finally realises that her actions have consequenses, but still telling her daughter that "they will be together" is reinforcing this inappropiate relationship
both need therapy very much so, but ultimately this is the mother's fault
@@adricsoti3719 ahhh i see i only watched what was in the video so i wasn’t sure if there was like, abuse or something like that. i’m assuming that she did to so that’s why she’s taken the side she has? though i still agree with the overall sentiment that the daughter is not right in the boundaries and asking her mother to choose, but at the same time the mother is not right and is reaping what she’s sown as this is what she’s basically asked for with her actions towards her kid. good to know the full context!! if this is actually real (it feels like reaaaaally bad acting if it’s not lol) they both get therapy before that kid comes because i worry for what that little girl would be walking into
I'm Colombian and no, is not common to be naked around your family.
Born and raised in Colombia.. and never have I ever done that with my parents or met other familes that do wtf... theyre insane
I'm kind of on the fence about the nudity thing. I'm German, and nudity here is definitely somewhat more normalized. It's not always seen as sexual like in the US which I think is a good thing. Nude beaches are quite common here. I personally wouldn't run around naked in front of my parents, but in my exes' family for example it was completely normal that one person would go brush their teeth while someone else was in the shower. I've also been in the sauna with him, his parents, his sister and her bf. It was a little awkward but in the end you just don't stare and it's fine.
What these 2 are doing definitely seems excessive, but then I'm not exactly sure where I would draw the line.
Yeah, I'm from Finland and i'd definitely say nudity is more normalized here as well, like adults can definitely go to the sauna naked with their family or friends (or with strangers if it's a public sauna) and there's nothing sexual about it. But that's more situational, i don't think people generally seek out to spend time naked in bed with their family like these two on the video 😅 the lack of boundaries is very concerning here
@@rosvokisuit’s the context that makes nudity sexual, and these two definitely love to make the context uhm. interesting. to say the absolute least
@@rosvokisuYep, as a half-Finnish person, I can add my voice to that. It was normal to be in the sauna together. I was in Finland this year's spring and was in the sauna with two nakey ladies, just chatting. But what these two are doing in the video, it feels really awkward and emotionally unhealthy.
I think the line needs to be drawn between "I don't mind being naked in front of family" and "I *want* to be naked in front of family"
Maaayyybe being emotionally neglected wasn't so bad after all. Better than whatever the hell this is
You inspired me to buy a big a$$ holographic folding fan. I took it with me to the beach, when I snapped it open I startled a nearby child. You’d be proud🧡🤍🩷💜
Paula needs some serious therapy and more friends. Ultimately its the moms fault as the parent for fostering this toxic dynamic between them, but Paula is clearly experiencing some severe separation anxiety and one of the worst cases of codependency ive ever seen.
No. It’s one thing to ask your mother to zip up your dress it’s another thing to DELIVER YOUR MOTHER GREEN JUICE NAKED WHAT DUDE
6:33 It's common where I live in the US. Not chilling naked together, but if someone forgets to take something to the shower, or needs to walk between rooms to get clothes, nobody cares.
16:45 WHAT. I AM ACTIVELY GONNA CRY AT THIS POINT. THAT IS DEFINITELY LOOKING LIKE FAR MORE THAN A MOTHER DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP
the whole thing with francia saying "SHE needs to touch me, SHE needs a hug, SHE needs me to do these things" is true yes, it is paula's request, but francia is the one who built this mindset. both of them deserve blame i think. it's good to know that the mom knows the connection is unhealthy though!!
Everyday we prove Freud correct
Every day we stray further from god and stroll closer to Freud KEKW
he can't keep getting away with it 😭
As a Latina (colombian/venezuelan), I can understand where they are coming from about the nakedness, I don’t think we would be necessarily uncomfortable seeing our mom/daughter naked but it’s definitely not “let’s get naked to hang out” kinda thing. It could technically be a cultural thing to not be ashamed of being naked around ur family, but is also not a tradition or like a super common thing in our cultures. Also if it was, is just a girl thing, personally never saw my dads or brothers asscheeks in my life, but I know exactly how my sisters knockers look like.
Hope this doesn’t sound too weird lol.
I’ve seen my mum naked once or twice, recently she got really drunk and really needed help getting into the shower, but situations like that is the only time where it’s ‘normal’ to see a family member naked (or if it’s an emergency)
Francia should've "drawn the line" a long time ago, hence the reason why Paula has a romantic-like emotional attachment to her.
I still hug and hold hands with my parents constantly b/c I have issues and touch is comforting
Holding hands is a perfectly valid way to comfort yourself
Just as long as the other person doesn’t mind ofc 👍
I got so scared when she started flying off the screen because of the flapping of the fan. “Is this the last I’ll ever see of Annamarie?” I thought to myself. Then, beneath a dark haze, I see her appearing again. Turns out it was just an editing trick! I’m just glad to know that she is home safe
You're glowing girl! Your skin looks amazinggg
My mom is dating again after my parents recently divorced. Sure, part of me wishes they were together, but they weren't happy. And i want my mom to be happy and find love again. I can't imagine trying to sabotage that and take that away from her
I just discovered your channel the other day and I’m PUMPED that I tuned in just in time for a new video! You’re the embodiment of gender envy and I love you 💖
I had this kind of relationship with my mom. For a long time, I thought it was just that we were super close and thought it was so cool that my mom was my best friend and closest confidant. She was the cool, chill, fun mom. There were literally zero things that were off-limits, including graphic details about our sex lives.
After escaping an abusive marriage and having no choice but to move back home, my mom leveraged that relationship and my severe mental health issues and vulnerability and combined forces with her husband to groom me into eventually having a threesome with them, because apparently that was my step-freak's fantasy.
Fortunately my current partner got me out of the home before the threesome happened (though there was an attempt along with other SA by my step-freak, so it was only a matter of time).
After I left, she told me that everything that happened because I was having sex with multiple people (I was single and 23, so nothing unusual) and because I was parading around the house in "less than nothing". Which means that I was living in my childhood home and occasionally walked around the house in a tank top and pajama pants, with or without a bra.
Now I recognize how toxic and inappropriate that relationship was.
I'm sorry you had to experience that, and hope you're in a better place.
This is messed up i hope u are okay although it will be a miracle if u are actually okay now because this is messed up from beginning
once we got to the massage part, I realized this might not be the best video to be watching on an Amtrak train
I lived 9 months in Colombia and have never met people like this. They're less embarrassed of coming out of the shower in underwear in front of you, sure, or this time my roommate had a skin issue and downright took her bra off to ask for help because it hurt a lot (it looked bad, honestly) and it was July 2020 with the hospitals filled to the brim, but it's not like they did it just casually and slept naked with anyone who wasn't their partner, especially not with family :|
Yeah, this is emotional incest. Nudity in front of your family? Fine in certain contexts. Your parent being your best friend? Totally fine. These two? They're so co-dependent that Paula feels like if her mom gets anyone else in her life, she will immediately be abandoned. Francesca seems to be sort of aware of this and HAS to push her daughter away a little. Someone has to get their feelings hurt. There's no way nice way around this because Paula's going to keep stepping forward with every gentle step away.