How Narcissist Disables Your Alarm System (Zombies, Zimbos, Contagion)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ก.ย. 2023
- Narcissists are externally indistinguishable from full-fledged human beings. But they have no core or stable identity. Your uncanny valley alarm system doesn't go off because it is damaged. The narcissist proceeds to penetrate your defenses and leverage your vulnerabilities in order to convert you into a clone of himself, his traits and behaviors (this is known as CPTSD or complex trauma). Narcissism is contagious.
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Zimbo is real.. Anyone that never experience zimbo won't comprehend it.
Our uncanny valley alarm system wasn’t just shut off during childhood abuse. The uncanny valley experience actually became not only familiar, but desirable. We are drawn to these Zimboes and narcissists.
Yes! I have always felt this discomfort around toxic/suspected narcissists/cluster b people with no seeming cause, I can feel that something is off or wrong when I am around them and it sets off this feeling of fear deep in my core. I feel totally disengaged around these people and I have been right about them many times.
But I am still confused as to why I ended up in relationships with narcissists.
This “alarm” being deactivated by trauma makes sense as to why my mom does not see people as toxic, has kept so many toxic friends around and was not able to protect me or see that there was anything wrong with the way I was being treated. Wow
it's fear and it's actually scary, maybe that's why we tent to "ignore". Kinda similar to the fear I had towards my mother but not as big.
Wow me too thanks
The problem for me was that my uncanny valley alarm was always activated because of the environment I grew up in, so it never went off long enough for me to feel it turn on around a zombie. I always felt something off when I met a narc, but my alarm system was so overwhelmed already that I couldn't feel the increased threat.
Yes, wow, this describes my situation as well.
Thank you Professor. They have a script that must be adhered to and as such this manifests in robotic and repeat repeat behaviour.....abuse is dished out if you refuse to be a good object and follow their script....the uncanny valley feeling which I have experienced is because on an animalistic level I know they are not human. Primal senses.
Narcissist don't have a script that's why they live a miserable life they forgot to write the script and expect you to write the script and how dare you get their script wrong and think for one second you can quit you're acting job. they cannot take you being luke Skywalker they instead cast you for the role of gweedo. Deep insecurity causes people to abuse others and deep insecurity makes a horror movie Everytime.
In Southern Africa, we call people from Zimbabwe Zimbos in slang.
" Narcissized," is a great description of how they cocoon and suck your life force.
Excellent lecture, thank you for calling upon the reactivation of instincts put to sleep in my childhood, reenacted in my adult life. These sentences are a candle in a cave, getting brighter.
Prof. Sam Vaknin. Once again a wealth of knowledge. I am so grateful to you for your knowledge and generosity. You are God sent person on my path. You played and continue to play a massive role in my evolution as a human. I have grown so much in 2023 because of your presence and your channel. THANK YOU! A good karma to you! Bless you!
Recognition is the key.Stay awake.Body snatchers?Clones?
I’m Haitian and what you are saying is true and it is still practiced to this day..
For real?? You have zombie in Haiti?
@@cherriescheries yes.. they are alive but dead.. and they slave for their master.
@@stansmiley9737How they achieve that and for what purpose? I'm surprised that your government doesn't stop that.
@@idimidoimi717there is no government in Haiti
I hope you grasp how deeply you are helping some of us. The only thing that was real was my pain.
You really truly have been THE ONE I have chosen to listen to and believe….and trust.
You clarify all of my intuition. I am not insane. And you “make it make sense”.
I want to take “my” narcissist and deliver him to you. Tie him to the saint andrews cross and torture him with reality.
But i carry his Polaroid within me. My greatest teacher. I am reborn, without him. The parasite who drained me of Life.
What a response. Agree with everything you've said. I reached final stage of healing this week and Sam has been integral to this process
Such of a relief when it's explained. Big sigh! Thank you Sam! You are am amazing Genius in your field!
I second that!!!! I do believe everything equals out via karma … sometimes that takes time but it do and will happen.
Relief ! The one good thing they accomplish during the relationship is they make the post breakup feel better/healthier/happier without them. Don't mistake feelings of complex trauma for love...
@@sophiediscobarre944 What are the stages of the healing process?
Around them I get a sudden wave of feeling of emptiness inside me, it's also my narc radar, I asume this is the uncanny valley feeling.
I am one who's uncanny valley alarm is broken. However, I have learned from experience to recognize the pattern of feelings and sensations that I do seem to experience in the presence of narcissists, psychopaths, etc. as those that should be ringing the alarms. This took many decades.
The nuances of this complex topic and the mapping of social behavior to clinical psychology that Prof. Vaknin articulates, not only satisfies our intellectual need for understanding human behavior, but also seems incredibly accurate from an anecdotal perspective. How life saving would it be if this type of education was part of the core curriculum? There are so many important topics that are missed in primary education that could really help improve and inform the human condition. What could disarm narcissistic development in the early stages is the exposure and study of these behaviors in our society so that children can become acutely aware of these malignant traits and develop healthy ways to cope with them in early life, and avoid generational trauma.
The one I dealt with told me when he treats me like trash… and I said: I am human and what you do is is not like a human reacts to an other human. Its like you have no empathy.. he said: I am a human to, like you!!! And most time that was the end of discussion.. when I tried to explain what human behave looks like in this kind of situation, he raged at me and told me to stop discus with him.. that mAkes him angry 😡 and if he gets angry I am the one that will get the bate for it!
And if you are in the fog you don’t recognize this strange behave!!
I wouldn't have believed it had I not experienced it. Bad to have gone through, but glad I can understand.
@@777Honeypie thx for telling me this … yes if you went trough it you believe it!!!
Well I’m losing it as i am looking inside of my very other self . I cannot find anything and it’s never been this empty. I’m questioning everything, feeling down and hungry for a flame to burn in my sickened stomach. I feel like a fish . Talking under water and the mumbling bubbles of my sound won’t echo , nor be heard. Not even by my very other selfs own ear !
Can i make something from all this confusion, pilling dust , flesh and bone in my frame? Am i even here ? In now ? Then ? Professor i need a way out . Out of my dreamy nightmares . Fantasy has gone failed? I have no idea, i can just talk and talk but nevertheless my own words come out , i don’t know when i got here ! How i ended up in bed with horrific fear of being feared!
” Get out ! Get out of your room .”i scream out to myself. Another night passed by and i still can’t take no rest . My head feels empty but so full-feeled . My stomach hurts as i crawl on my side to see the sun riser above the cloudy skies , my eyes go blurry, blink blinded , sight, i cannot stand the shadow of my every other own self doubting doubts
Thank you Sam for the distinction between complex trauma victims being transient and cluster B, borderline being a life long condition. I Checking boxes does not equal the real thing. I have been waiting for this distinction to be explained.
Dear professor Vaknin, maybe you could make a video about the narcissist's relationship with humor. The narcissist I've known for 2.5 years has never even once uttered any resemblance to a joke, or reacted to any jokes of mine. This always puzzled me...
Search the channel.
Yes!!!! I experienced the same thing.
Mine had a fake laughter that creeped me out...
@@Julisssssssska 😆 Oh dear!... Now I feel lucky...
@@Julisssssssskai knew a narcissistic psychopath that didn't know how to laugh, the best she managed was donkey. It really snapped me out of the joke with shock about so much lack of self-awareness
“…narcissized…” Yes!
Second Order False Belief - check.
Wow, at last I have an explanation of why they are so cruel. It's as if they have no choice. That's a Xombie 😢
Thank you for sharing this information. Your videos over time have filled in gaps of many things, and I am grateful. There was a time when my alarm was ignored.
Muchas gracias, pusiste en palabras lo que estoy sintiendo y me ayudaste a comprender mas profundamente este tema vital para mi en este momento.
Is it possible to have narcissistic "relationships" online mainly? Is it possible for a narcissistic to groom you online and build a shared dream like reality? If so, It's more of a nightmare, lol.
Yes, it is possible.
Pedophiles do it all the time on social media, getting nudes from underage girls and then blackmailing them. i used to hear stories as a teen all the time. U never heard of amanda?
U never heard of the amanda todd cyberbullying case?
This video contain lot of interesting info. Got to watch it couple of times👍
Thanks Prof. Vaknin…I had never considered this. Realizing I suffer from CPTSD I felt very encouraged saying that this is something that can be healed. Unfortunately I have spent decades with Narcs in my family of origin and 14 years of marriage. I want to believe I haven’t been “infected” with an incurable Zimbo virus. This thought is anxiety provoking. Please address. Thanks!
CPTSD is reversible regardless of the length of exposure.
@@samvaknin is it possible to recover my 'self' on my own...by myself? (Sometimes I don't even know who I am anymore) Your videos do help! One day I feel good, like I am healing, discovering and learning, making progress, but then I slip and start to feel hopeless. It's been a viscous cycle.
Isn't it always dangerous to label other human beings as "not human beings "?
Not FULLY human. The truth is sometimes risky and unpalatable - but it is still the truth.
Im learning ... still: thank you Dr.
!
I was diagnosed with bpd in my 20s. I'm 46 now. I was raised by a npd mother and I've had 5 npd partners. I know what they are. So my alarm hasn't been disabled...I'm trying to win. My question is could this actually be cptsd? Because transient or lifelong....could just be from how many times I've gone through this? If that makes any sense at all.
@@dogwalks441 I understand. I have the fear of abandonment when I'm with a narcissist only. But 5 of the 9 relationships I've had were with narcissists
Are narcissists an evolutionary throwback/reversion? I came to this conclusion many years ago after watching the main narc in my family. I always wondered what her thought process was. It seemed overly simplistic, as was her behaviour.
I think so... We are the upgrades. They are "missing" parts it seems.
Most likely. Since our species has grown exponentially, and any absurd growth of something causes a "Bubble" (economic jargon), or Newton's Third Law.
I think Narcs are the "opposing force" to Human Species ever rising growth, that should "maintain equilibrium".
Thank You Very Much
Master❤
Thank you. Appreciate your videos. 🌸
Very very interesting video, you are the best and I’m sure the only who understand and explain narcissism so deep
Dad is AsPD and what not, I couldn't sense the zimbo up to recently, seems to be a lot of them about.
With few exceptions, the people skills of the management team of my former employer were almost always off. Their attitude towards those working under them had an air of “these people are worthless”. It seemed so disconnected from the reality that we as middle management had hired these “worthless” people. So who was to blame for this lamentable situation? It was also demonstrated when we were in restaurants. It was de rigueur to complain mercylessly to the wait staff about any and everything about the food and service. You might think it was to create a reason to be stingy on the tip but no! The tip was paid in full. It was apparent to me it was to demonstrate the twisted semblance of a human in upper management, just how demeaning and demanding they could be. The message was that these were the skills necessary to succeed. My attitude was that I knew how to manage without the rude drama. I was not a good fit. The corporation no longer exists. First ethically bankrupt than financially. It takes hard work to go bankrupt while making a good profit.
I noticed uncanny valley and retired earlier than I wanted. I think I saved myself some big trouble.
I still don't really understand what is a narcissist. In theory, I seem to get it, but in practice I get confused. Many non-narcissists seem to have narcissistic qualities, and vice versa. How to measure these things? I seem to think that emotion, or intensity equals life, even if unconscious. I can't believe in consciousness as such, or I don't trust it.
Could we have a zombie that is conscious? I do think so. We can have somatic, and cerebral zombies....
I also have a strong feeling that narcissism phenomenon is collective.. and just avoiding one person, or two doesn't really help. That there are no easy solutions .
We don't have access to anyone's mind?
Thank you !!! You the best !!
Owàaaòoo ! Many thanks !
LOVE 🙏🙏🙏
Professor Vaknin, this is out of topic of todays video, but I wanted to ask under the latest one to maximise chances of reply. You sometimes recommend in your videos literature and authors that you value a lot like Camus books or "Bahave" by Sapolsky. Would you mind to share in any form you top 10 (or more) psychology books for example or top authors? You are incredibly eloquent and educated. I want to read what you read.
Sam mentioned Daniel Dennett in this vlog.
If they're not human, what are they? What would be the social/moral/legal consequences of having detected such a creature? If they have a different nature from us, they can't change it and become human. They will never be human. Can a dog change its nature? Or a cat? As a consequence, should they have the same rights as human beings?
Watch my videos on what defines a human.
@@samvakninhello professor. Which video?
This is the fate of the Christian tribulation. Christ died so that men no longer live unto zimbos. 2 corinthians 5.15. Be reflective, be worthy.
Por favor, legendas nos comentários. Obrigada
Subscribe to the @NarcisismocomMirna channel.
Thanks for sharing your great knowdledge, although I only have time for practical advice (steps for getting rid of the psychopat. Not for studying him. He can go to hell). How can we get a guide? Otherwise we will fail. I do not intend to be 10 years in therapy, or end at the street with nothing, or waiting until I find for myself the way out. I am almost there, but probably I will take a wrong decision if I do not find a coach/guide. I have spent all my money already twice trying to escape bc I am a totally damaged person now. Blocked, rages, maybe narcissist traits etc. You are right, I was suspicious I am not acting normal, and here it is the explanation. But you completely forget the isolation. Kill myself after 50 years of suffering is becoming my way out after 35 years of trying to escape without success.
Does the uncanny valley feeling come up with someone with BPD? I suspect that I could have NPD + BPD after my relationship with my ex, but when we met I was highly intoxicated, but the second time we met and I was sober my inner monologue was screaming "she's not real, she's pretending to be someone else, and why are you doing this to me?" I kept feeling like something was off for nearly two months.
Uncanny valley reactions are triggered by narcissists, psychopaths, and histrionics.
@@samvaknin Thank you for responding.
Okay, that kinda makes sense with HPD. I could see her having HPD, but it seems like she's definitely tamed some things. I always felt it was something else. However, that could be my cognitive distortions.
I guess everyone is different and not everyone has all the traits, but I would think I would have expected to notice the speech or other things.
I'm constantly trying to figure out who she was, but I need to let it go. 😅
@@samvaknin Follow up question, I felt a sense of danger around this person early on (I felt kidnapped and needed to run away), but this person was fully capable of crying, and always showed love. Do you think that could have been HPD for the sense of feeling in "danger?" Or could this be my cognitive distortions and paranoia?
On first meeting, he told me he was autistic. I filtered his behavior through that lens, but it felt more like this. I'm sure you've done videos comparing autism to narcissism?
Search the comorbidities playlist.
My ex claimed autism too, he possibly is both, but it disabled my concerns. The yncanny valley is real though, I was consistently dismissing my gut feelings and over time my moods got more and more labile.
I received so much from this session. May I ask one question. Effect, cognition and connection. Am I hearing the words correctly?
Conation.
I believe it's "affect".
@@viorelagocs Yes, affect.
Is this to be considered as Evil? No soul? We all want labels to make sense of it all. That's a downside. When your confused you want clarity even though the world is muddy. Thoughts?
Just curious 🤔
It isn't considered evil to be comparative. Therefore, they are seduced as 'the betters'. "More than you". Its effects are evil that satisfy only with control of what we should consider valuable as a human state of admiration. A balance of mind has to 'fork stick' its efforts. I found this in the evolution of faith recognising our collective respect purpose is irritated by exploitative motive. The prophesy of Christ does this. Worthiness is not a comparative smugness.
Would ADD turn off my or negatively affect my Uncanny Valley Alarm?
No.
My dogs name is Zombie 😂😂😂
Can’t personas be deployed at scale? Narc personas that are embedded and supported by traditions while stable and by virtue signaling when in flux, syncretizing? Social installations called idols, whatever the source of narrative - can’t behavior coalesce around these idols as profiles of normalization? And also structure the world game, naive upward/cynical downward. Forgive upward/curse downward (Dominionism). This psychological social order might be very stable while being toxic. If we all run to join a power clubs and they’re all run this way, how do we get anywhere. Can a club not run this way compete? How to accomplish structural remedy when a cure would turn so much upside down?
Search the channel for collective narcissism.
[ NIHIL EX NIHILO - Aryan "BUDDHISM™, Most Famous Today for What it Never Ever Taught (Namely Soul Denying Nihilism) is a Modern Doctrinal Corruption of the Buddha Sasana, the Awakened Scythian Sage Buddha Shakyamuni Gautama's Spiritual Teaching of the Eightfold Noble (Noble/Aryan) Path to the Absolute, the Teaching of the Brahmayana ]
I dont like to think about this time in my life...but this particular person not only disabled my alarms but removed my sim care from my phone thinking it would prevent me from contacting my family & friends