I lost my son to a cult years ago. He truly believes his entire family is influenced by the devil. Thank you for what you do Owen. You are welcome in my home anytime.
So sorry, Kevin. It has to be heartbreaking with a child. My ex husband joined a cult and became furious when I wouldn't join. He told me I was possessed by the devil, as well, and tried to hit him out of me. It's astonishing how strong cult influence can be. Be well.
For very different reasons, I left home at 13 and disowned my mother entirely when I was in my 20s. Police tracked me down to let me know she died. I was relieved I didn't have to worry about her showing up any more. When blood doesn't reach the heart, it serves no purpose. No belief, social circle, relationship or threats of hell could make me shun my daughter. Love yourself enough to cut those ties Owen. It'll be the best thing you do for yourself.
@@paulboger7377 The gentleman told me she died the day before and explained how she died and my response was that I wasn't surprised. He seemed perhaps a bit put off by my lack of emotion and rather stoic responses. I thanked him for letting me know and I simply hung up the phone and that was it. I made no arrangement nor did anyone call back. I think they got the message.
@@ambermchugh9381 I have not. It sounds like a title that could be helpful to so many unable to come to terms with not liking a family member as they feel obligated to though.
The technique she used, befriending people close to you is called triangulation and it's as common a technique as gaslighting is with narcissists. To add, one narcissistic parent is a nightmare, two are just indescribable.
She also will have told her version of the story to her entire kingdom hall. She will have stood up to tell it and got a big round of applause from everyone in the congregation. I've heard them doing it on the zoom meetings. They are scum, move on you are well rid
It’s a shame that this happened to you at such a young age. This is what organized religion does to individuals and families alike. Shunning a family member is despicable and again, I’m sorry that that happened to you. I’m glad you got back on your feet and made yourself a good life.
I am a firm believer that upon reaching adulthood you choose your friends and ersatz family. Before that, shunning is serious mental abuse and deserving of legal consequences.
I was under the impression that shunning was for things like abusers who were removed from the family until I was a teen when I learned it's for abusers to control family members.
I agree that its all shameful, but I will say that I think its better to experience it when you're young. At older ages, you have signed contracts and interwoven your affairs with people in ways that become very difficult to extricate yourself from. Certainly, its better not to experience these things at any time, but mature adults will have to rebuilt their lives at 30, 40, 50. They'll often have spouses and children and those relationships will break up in addition to parental bonds. Or they'll have missed out on starting a family due to religious constraints.
I am so very sorry Owen, have you ever considered going to a therapist about this to help you? Therapy helped me deal with crazy people in my life. That’s why I said that. I’m so sorry this happened to you. That’s all I can say is I am so so very sorry. It’s awful to have a person that can’t admit they were wrong and the damage they did. You did not deserve that, and it’s horrible what she did. Sending a hug to you. A big hug. It does feel like there’s no justice sometime. And it’s so very unfair. We do love you, and appreciate you.
I was kicked out into the streets by my ultra strict Seventh Day Adventist parents at age 15. I was made a scapegoat and a bad object because I had a girlfriend, they didn't like... I was not allowed to form my own identity or make any choices as a teen cuz Adventism is ultra controlling... Religious trauma is real, and I have PTSD from it. No contact is the only way to go with narcissists.
Did you know that way back originally, JWs were an offshoot of Seventh Day Adventists? Adventists do the holidays, etc., JWs branched off to exclude holiday celebrations and form the Blood doctrine and really formalize the abuse of shunning.
I know what it’s like to have a narcissistic mother. She tried to keep a relationship with my sister not because she wanted to make amends with her no it was only so she can see her grandson. I haven’t talked to my mom is 3 years and she’s been out of my life since then and I permanently cut contact with her recently. It’s inspirational to hear your story Owen.
Owen, you were a child who was deserted by the only people in this world who should have been unconditional in their love and regard for you. I cannot begin to express how proud I am of the person you have become and the positive energy you put out into this world. I know that Kylee is a lucky girl to have you for her father because you have internalized just how awful it is to be raised by such despicable, contemptible "parents." I have long been a supporter of yours and will continue to send all positive, healing energy your way. Thank you for your articulate, compassionate insights. At 70 years of age, I have learned a lot from you. All best wishes to you.
My maternal grandmother died of liver cancer in the late 80's. I hope she enjoyed every bit of the excruciating pain. She was a truly malevolent entity you could write horror stories about and the damage she inflicted was spread across generations. How bad was she? Very near death she used the last of her strength to psychologically torture my mother. A very Cotton Hill moment.
I appreciate you opening up like you did, my mother is a new found Evangelical Christian and has become completely lost. Hers lies and her hate have not only driven me and my half-brother away but also her brothers and sisters. The manipulation never ends and the lies are always being spread with her always as the victim. I'm sorry you too had to endure that friend
I think even texting your mom confirming that you know about her manipulation efforts, that mightve been narcissistic supply for her. It confirms she caused pain. Absolute blocking is probably the right action.
My LDS husband who was divorcing me for another woman. Threw me n my 5 kids out of the house. (from a previous Mormon marriage) . My family shunned me; said I must have sinned. And the church shunned me! So my heart goes out to you! 💞I spent about 5yrs. In shelters or couch surfed.
@@QE1beth i don't have a problem with religion in general but cults and fundamentalism are truly cancerous and its ridiculous that we as societies all around the world allow them to exist
This is why churches shouldn't be considered charities. Because sure they help you..... IF If you are part of the congregation. If you are in good standing. If you never make waves. If you never speak of past abuse. If you never talk back against your husband/father/priest/pastor. If you don't fight against them indoctrinating your childern etc. Like you have to be the WORTHY poor. Instead of seeing a family suffering and just offering to help they want to make sure you are jumping through all the right hoops. And they are totally willing to 'forgive' the pastor for banging half the youth group- but a woman leaves her abusive husband and she is somehow unforgivable? It's hypocritcal and disgusting.
I watched this live and I watched it again. It reminds me of what I went through growing up with my Christian/conservative mom. They are very judgmental and punishing people. You’re easily one of my favorite TH-camrs and I very much enjoy hearing you speak. Please keep your head up and know you are loved, even if by people you’ll never meet.
I relate to this so much. I left at 18 because I was kicked out for the same reason. My parents told me they wanted me to be able to hit rock bottom so that I “would have to look up and see Jesus”. It still haunts me. And it made me resent religion ever since.
I wanted to cry hearing you tell your story. My mother’s second husband was abusive and vindictive to my brother and me, he is the only person I ever couldn’t grant forgiveness, and the only person I ever wished dead. Take good care of yourself and your daughter, even though your mom owned some of your past, she absolutely doesn’t own your future.
I’m so sorry you went through all that. I also hope the bitterness will be healed. Some parents should not have been parents at all. I literally shed tears while listening to you.
Your an inspiration Owen! I was homeless last year for eight months, lost my wife and three kids (and everyone else I knew) because I stumbled on your story as an active witness of 18 years, and realized shunning is wrong. You helped wake me up and I’m so grateful for you! I barely survived my homeless/shunning experience and I was 45 years old, running my own business. I can’t imagine losing everything in 11th grade. I’m proud of you Bro, thanks for your work!!
I'm sorry Owen. I'm old enough to be your mom but I've got a similar story. I've had people think it's awful that I don't speak to my parents, who are still living and in their 70's. But after therapy, I realized there's nothing that says I have to continue to punish myself and suffer by continuing to let them be manipulative, judgemental , verbally & emotionally abusive. (My mom quit hitting me when I was 17 and I grabbed her hand mid swing and wouldn't let go until she said she wouldn't hit me.) I quit speaking to them almost 16 years ago. I was able to get sober. (Painkillers, I also was on Suboxone for 7 years.) Much of my addiction was me self medicating to escape and gain some relief from the anxiety and OCD. And my life has never been more peaceful. I no longer agonize over holidays. I don't get sick to my stomach when I see their number on caller ID. And it has allowed me to be a much better mother. Hang in there. It gets better. And keep telling your story! If it only helps one person, it's worth it. 😇
My chest burns with anger listening to how your mother has treated you and then Kylie, And my heart aches like all Hell listening to how you were shunned, and the aftermath of it.
I am so glad my Grandmother was able to get out of this cult before anything bad could happen. My Grandmother was talked into joining when I was just a toddler. She was in it for over a year and my Mom, my Uncle, and my Grandfather were able to talk her out of staying there. The ultimatum was, "It's either them or your family because we want no part in a cult that doesn't allow birthdays or holidays." My Grandmother chose us. I can only imagine what horrible things could have happened if she chose to stay with them. I'm sorry all this happened to you, Owen. The world is filled with such horrible people.
This women isn’t even worth the death wishes, i wouldn’t even waste your breath. I know what it’s like to have to worry about someone you’re related to, constantly hanging over your shoulder trying to manipulate your life in anyway they can. I wouldn’t even risk anything bad i wish upon them coming back onto me because they’re not even worth that. my heart goes out to you Owen, and you should feel proud of the life and platform you’ve built for yourself despite such disgusting bs trying to keep you down.
Man, I was so triggered. I get it. So brave and amazing to share. I came up in a loving loving family. My ex husband used my kindness and forgiveness and manipulated me to think I was less than. I feel you brother. He broke down my spirit. Convinced anyone who’d listen that I went crazy after my ma died. I just get it. Thank you for sharing
The Mennonites practice shunning too (well, they used to). One of my aunts was shunned for getting pregnant outside of wedlock. When she passed, the family didn't know what to say at her memorial, so they had me speak. Probably because my mom had kicked me out too when I was a teenager. Idk, but I'm sorry you had to deal with all of these things. Thank you for sharing your story, Owen, and I'm so sorry for your loss. 😥
Thanks for sharing this, Owen. I feel for you immensely. I also feel relieved to hear that I'm not the only one who eagerly awaits the death of a parent (both parents, in my case). Your mother deserves nothing. The world will be a better place without her. As for Sue, I'm glad you had her in your life, and I'm so sorry for your loss.
Hi Owen. I was 17 when I got kicked out. I refused to go to c😊😊hurch anymore. So, my things were put in trash bags and suddenly I was homeless too. ❤ My best friend let me live with her. Thank goodness I didn't have to hide.
Thank you for sharing this. My story is extremely similar to yours and just like your mother, mine also eventually went directly to my oldest child. She threw me out and cut me off, but now years later she thinks she is going to get to play the loving grandmother? Not a chance. Not to mention that my oldest is gay and my mother is still in her cult. I’ve been watching you for quite a few years and took a lot of comfort from your videos. I hate to see you so upset, but thank you for making me feel a little less alone, Owen.
I relate to this to an uncomfortable degree. My parents were and are actively abusive towards me too. I'm happy my dad is dead. My mom still fucks with my life and I just want to be done with it. I changed my name and moved and she still showed up at my door. My life had been thoroughly ruined by my horrible parents. I'm even facing homelessness at the end of this year, and my mom still is making shit harder for me. I know what it's like to have to deal with those thoughts. I'm sorry.
My mom and dad would find any opportunity to make me into someone I'm not. It took me 18-19 years into my life to realize who I am. Even with a relationship, I don't know what it's like to be loved by family. I hope you're okay.
I'd like to think of it this way: the woman who birthed you isn't necessarily your "mother". I would give that title to Sue, who actually acted like one. I hope that your memories of your birth-giver can be replaced by those of Sue, and that your birth-giver will stop trying to pry her way into your life again.
My mother kicked me out too. Same background, abusive father, quite mother. It wasn't religion based. She expected me to get a certain job/degree. I said no I wanted a different one. When I didn't get in, it was basically a year of psychological abuse that I was never going to get what I wanted. When I got denied again, same story. See yourself out. Slept in a basement for a year in MI wearing a ski jacket to bed. I was lucky to have friends who let me sleep there for free, with the only requirement being we had to play video games at the end of every day. I ended up getting what I wanted. She started bragging about how great of a mother she is because of what I did. She'll never understand why I have no respect for her, and why she will not have a significant presence in my children's lives.
You're a strong man for being this honest Owen, i appreciate that very much. Glad to see you can deal with heavy things like this by sharing it with us. Good for you bro, and thanks for your enlightening videos!
The ancient Egyptians say that we die 2 deaths. The 1st is when we take our last breath.The 2nd is when someone whispers our name for the last time. Today you made Sue into a goddess, her name will be uttered for eternity! ❤
im currently in an abusive household and hearing you talk about this openly was weirdly comforting. i rly appreciate ur channel pls keep ur head up high
Shortly before my father died from cancer, he said he wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy. I can only tell you that I doubt I would ever say it. Having said that (and having heard some of the things you've had to endure) I can understand it - and I don't judge anyone, because we all have different circumstances and different experiences.
Dear Owen! I am so sorry this is still happening to you and that your mom is not leaving you alone. I would look into getting a restriction order against her via a lawyer if she’s not stopping. Other than that, you had the right idea: just block every number and account she’s using. And stick together with the ones you love and love you back. A hug from me. I appreciate all the work you do on your channel.
Man, that's so hard to listen to (emotionally). I can't imagine the trauma it causes to a child to be betrayed by their parents like that. Accept my condolences, I'm sorry it happened to you.
💜💜💜💜 My heart goes out to you, Kylie, Katie, and everyone else who keeps getting her messages. I know how easy it is for crappy family members to throw your life totally off kilter, and just know we totally understand and support you. Sue sounds like she was so sweet and supportive and I’m so sorry for your loss. 💜💜💜💜
You have to let them go as much as possible. I can relate in so many ways what's happened to you. Not many people realize how hard and how much damage it can do. My mom when I came out said that I "Was not even a human" for being gay. I was told a long time ago that sometimes for your own survival and sanity is to let them go. They don't love you because they are ashamed of you. You are a disgrace and they will side with the very people that hate you and wish to harm u
Owen, this is so familiar to me. You are so brave to come out publicly with this pain. I can relate to a toxic mother - imaging being whipped from behind with a wet dishcloth at the dinner table! Threatened with a knife by your own mom. hit over the head with a broom stick. I can hear my own pain in you voice. Thanks for sharing.
As someone who has been through a similar situation, I think the fact that’s he’s being open to us is incredibly encouraging. Sometimes it’s easier to not bring it up, but when it shows up again you can’t avoid it.
I’ve never heard of someone who prepared “spare” presents just in case anyone was missed, or short on presents or an unexpected guest came around. That is just amazing. Just in case. My gawd. What a truly incredible and loving soul. Watching this video and learning about such a beautiful being… I’m crying at the knowledge she is no longer with us and I never even met her. I’m sorry for everything you’ve had to go through, Owen. Thank you for all that you do.
As someone who once had to deal with a nacassistic step mother at 1 point, I completely sympahtize with you. While I was never a JW, I know the kind of damage those type of people can do to. I still have some PTSD from those days with the step mom, although I have recently started seeing a specialist to help me from have spontanious episodes. Memories like that will unfortunately stick with you & are very hard to shake. Big hugs & condolences to you Owen. Losing someone that close to you in your life is never easy. And knowing that there are always unforgiveable & horrible people ready to pounce at the slightest moment of weakness. I hope you & your family can stay strong through this.
I was traumatized by someone, and while it feels ugly to have these kinds of feelings about them, I find that as much as I’m angry at that person, wishing them gone comes from a place of fear. It’s difficult to feel at peace knowing that someone who has repeatedly hurt you is still out there and capable of hurting you again. I hope you manage to find your peace, that’s clearly a huge weight that you’re carrying.
Hey man, I grew up a JW for the first 18 years of my life. Fortunately my parents are good people deep down and did not shun me. If my parents did that to me, then I would definitely wish death upon them as well. Your feelings are completely valid.
@@Eric_01 When I was young I wanted to be baptized. My mom was smart and wouldn’t let me till I was older. I figured out I was an atheist around 14 or 15 so I never pursued it after that. I was still stuck in the religion until I was 18 though.
Your a good man! I don’t know about wishing someone dead, but use that knowledge from your childhood to be the best dad you can be. I hope you're working through this pain in whatever way that's right for you. Know that you're saying important things and exposing the world to difficult but vital info. Hang in there do your best and forget the rest.
Owen. I am so sorry for your loss. Got me frickin crying over here. And wishing death in my books isnt usually justified, but your mother deserves to rot slowly. I hope she doesnt die till shes 80 when all her bones are cancerous and she is just living my machines your years. Given time to reflect what she has done to you.
I’m dealing with very very similar situations right now and this video really hit me hard. I feel like we would be friends as we seem similar and our mothers sound identical. Sending you good vibes brother.
Thank you for sharing this Owen I’ve dealt with zealot family members myself over the years but I can safely say u had worse parents than me ,I’m sorry to hear u had to endure that crap. I wish u well and I look forward to viewing more of your content.
I am so thankful that you had Sue and Dee in your life. Sorry your mom couldn’t change and be present for you; it’s definitely her loss, because you are an obviously an ethical, caring and intelligent man with a great sense of humor. I wish you much love and support in your life.
As a survivor of a covert narc, no contact is the best option. Its hard. And you will still hear her voice in your head. In time, you will heal. You are not a bad person for wanting toxic people out. They are bad for making you hurt bad enough.
I'm in the same boat as you coming from an abusive family. I didn't in any shape or form cry or was upset at my dad's funeral and people couldn't understand why? My family thought I was in denial, completely ignoring the fact that I was constantly abused by him. Thank you for sharing your journey.
As someone with a narcassistic manipulative gaslighting mother themselves, I look forward to the day when she won't be here anymore, so I can understand why you look forward to your own passing as well. It's completely understandable Owen.
Thank you, this is one of your best videos recently. It helps to hear your experience and yes, I know how it feels to be a 15 year old boy in the forest at night not knowing where to sleep 'cause my elder stepfather through me out of the house after beating me up on the Livingroom floor for playing Tekken 3. I do not think it is generally wrong to wish Death on someone that put you through something like your mum did, especially as you had to experience such injustice. Still I think, from, experience, for YOU it will be relieveing when the time comes that you can let the rage go. And integrate. But there is no rush. And also there is no one you owe anything to.
I got kicked out at 15 when I told my teacher my brother committed a crime against me from the ages of 10-14. He was 15 when it started. My parents decided to protect him instead of me. Luckily I had somewhere to go. It wasn’t a great home but they treated me well. My parents realized I was happier there and they didn’t have control over me. They forced me back into their house. I am now 17 and I just got my first apartment. The taste of freedom is amazing. I’m trying to hide and stay safe until I’m 18. People with non narcissistic parents will never understand. My best friend has good parents. I told him if I couldn’t escape I’d most likely be dead before October. I told him I planned on running away. He couldn’t comprehend he called me an idiot, he told me it was a horrible idea. Asked me “how can you not just deal with 6 more months?” Most of my dads side of the family is abusive. Some of the kids on that side understood and helped me get out. I start college on the 26th, one is helping me make rent. Some people will never understand the pain that comes from horrible parents. Some people will. A lot of the people on your channel have something in common. We live in pain. We view the world through pain. Pain makes us tick. We get you. A lot of us have these stories. I’m so so sorry you had no where to go. I’m sorry you didn’t have help. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with this. We understand as much as people can though. Some of us get that people like your mother are scum of the earth. Don’t feel bad for hating her or wishing her harm. We get it. This channel is a hopeful light for some of us. A place of support to get through the horrible darkness and see light. Thank you for being vulnerable. From one kid born into a cult to another thank you for escaping and being brave enough to help the rest of us get out as well.
Woah you've got an awful lot to deal with and my heart goes out to you 💙 Life can be so cruel and painful, especially when we're in situations like this. I'm now 23 but I left home at 17 too because of my abusive, narcissistic and extremely religious parents. I was desperate. I felt the same frustration you feel right now when people say "but it's no big deal, just put up with them" as if that it easy. It's not. It's hell. We'd rather unalive ourselves (sorry TH-cam blocks comments when certain words are used) People have no idea how vulnerable and scared you become when you're all by yourself, with no family to look out for you. If things go wrong financially, the issue falls on our shoulders. We have to become grown up long before our friends do. It truly sucks. But you're brave, you're strong and you can fight this. My advice from having been on this rugged road for the past 6yrs is - make sure once you're financially stable, seek a proper therapist who specialises in traumatology and CPTSD. Lots of therapists out there don't understand that simply talking about your feelings doesn't heal those wounds. You need proper practical advice in how to deal with triggers, anxiety, depression, etc. Until then there's a couple licenced mental health professionals that helped me with their content on TH-cam - Dr Ramani (she talks a lot about Narcissists) and Patrick Teahan. It's important that you deal with all the mental crap that would've been caused. Also make sure that if a friend offers you help, take it. You're not weak or a failure for needing lots of support right now. Also seek help from shelters, food banks, benefits/welfare, crisis centres, etc. These are in place to help get you on your feet. Take good care of yourself and don't give up. Sending my love as a fellow estranged person 💙
What your mother did was heartless, wholly irresponsible, and outright illegal. I'm so sorry that you had to go through EVERYTHING that her actions put you through, and as a person whose parents have been very supportive of my life choices, I'm saddened to learn that someone whose content I enjoy did not have those same fortunes. I hate very few things in this world more than a parent that abandons their child. I saw at a young age (5 or so) what it did to an equally young family member and it breaks my heart every time.
You are 100% okay with how you feel. I know how you feel. Focus on your own kids, and your own life. Just leave all that behind, and be the best version of yourself you can be.
My daughters Olivia and Katie Docherty. They are 20 and 17 are not shunned by me. I shun no one. I would shun the shunners and call them true evil. My ex husband and I are not religious. We were separated/divorced in 2010. We have joint custody. They were with me all their lives but were always able to and encouraged to spend time with their Dad and his family as well. My ex husband was remarried to someone who comes across like your mom. Apparently she has tried alienation tactics toward me since my daughters moved in with their Dad in her lease after their marriage. I have one thing say. Justice is going to be a bitch for her
Owen... I can hear the heartbreak in your voice... see the sorrow in your eyes... the fact that you've been shunned and she's STILL trying to control you by manipulating others around you... no, the world needs people like this to go away. this is... beyond the pale.
I can relate I was disowned by my parents because they hated me because I am wheelchair-bound and exposed the abuse they pit me though They were in cult that told them my birth brain injury was a curse and that I was unwanted by God otherwise i'd be healed Owen your channel has helped me greatly and toy are a credit to the human race and the even though we are not related but i'd be glad to call you a brother! Your family friends and clients are all stronger because you are in their lives... Blood does not always mean family bt love does you sir are loved!
I’m sorry that this has happened to you. Your mom sounds just like my mother in law. My husband hates his mom and we cut her off in 2003. It’s been 20 yrs of no contact with my in laws and we have been much happier for it. Live your life and keep her drama far away from yourself. You will be much happier for it
I stood up to my father because I was tired of the sexual ,mental and physical abuse ...he disowned me. He wouldn't allow my mother to contact me ,which is bull shit !! My family tried to contact when he died ,I made some excuse that I never got the message about the funeral...I couldn't go ,I would NOT go ...because I would have danced on his gravesite with glee. Don't feel guilty ...❤️❤️
As a victim of abuse myself, I feel for you. Losing somebody you care about hurts, so much. Take all the time you need, let out all those feelings, take comfort in your family and those who care about you. You have all of our support.
You take the time you need, Owen. You've suffered much more than I had to at the hands of an abuser, and you held your composure extremely well. You're strong and compassionate, and we're lucky to have you here for us. Thank you so much for all that you do.
My heart goes out to you, Owen. I'm so sorry you had these awful (an understatement) parents and wretched growing up years because of them. I don't blame you at all for your current feelings about your mom. If it helps at all, I can tell you are a good person and a great dad, the complete opposite of your own parents. You are putting a lot of good into the world and I hope it helps you to know that. I'm glad you had Sue and Dee in your life and I'm so sorry for your loss.
My mother died a couple months ago at the age of 65 and I wrote a long article about her unwavering kindness because I wanted to make sure she was remembered for that. My girlfriend/mother of my child had an incredibly abusive father and a mother who did nothing to stop him so for about 7 years my mother was a mother to her and in a lot of ways she took it harder than me because she didn’t have that relationship growing up. She would say the same thing you say about your mother about her father so from the bottom of both our hearts thank you for sharing this and know you’re not alone with this kind of story. It’s hard when it feels like monsters outlive those who were the most kind but having people to share that pain with helps a lot
I'm so grateful to you for this video. I'm relatively new to your material but our lives are dramatically similar in many horrible ways. Your videos have really helped me feel like less of a freak, I hope you take that for what it is. Thanks again Owen
My heart really goes out to you. I cannot imagine the pain you felt, and are feeling, and shall never pass judgement for wishing death to your mother. I hope hearing your story makes more people want to be like Sue.
Owen, I love this. I had a very rough adolescence. Closeted lesbian, undiagnosed autism, mental health problems. But, I was very intelligent and pushed hard by family. Tiger parenting and anger issues in the family. I made a friend in eighth grade. Her parents insisted on hosting all sleepovers for safety and culture reasons (but could still have). Big nice house. It was the place our little weird group went to. I was her best friend, and so I spent as much time as I could at her house. I think I ended up putting her parents in the very awkward position of knowing I had concerning mental health symptoms because my friend had told, but not feeling okay about letting me know. So I think they just tried to see me. The dad stopped yelling when I was around or joke “I am arguing on the phone, I’m not mad.” They both started asking if it was okay if they needed to touch me for some reason and told me that I could contact them in an emergency The mom asked me if everything was okay (I lied but she tried), and tried to show me a few calming techniques. It was the first time I felt seen aside from spending time with my grandmother. It’s so important to find someone who sees you. Sue did that for you. I am so sorry for your loss and about how your mom turned Sue against you. That in itself is a great loss, and I have similar feelings. because I want to reconnect with this family but am worried about not being accepted because of who I am. I hope you find some peace. Find your prahna and take a deep breath!
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through Owen. I don’t speak to my mother either and it’s very painful. Overall though it’s healthier for me as well as my sisters who also don’t speak to her. Remember that you have a community of supporters through your podcast. Sending you love and healing
My mom is a Narcissist and I was her scapegoat. I have been no contact with her for 15 years and she doesn't know my son. It scares me to think she might do the same thing to him. I know exactly what you went through because I went through the same thing. Except, I ran away. I was 16 at the time, but was sick of her abuse and would do anything to escape it. When my mom dies, I plan on blasting Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead at her funeral.
That’s exactly what I did when my narcissistic b**** of a mom died. Ding Dong The Witch is Dead. I don’t have to worry about sabotage or flying monkey behavior behind my back .
I honestly don't, that isn't my hope. I hope she keeps away from Owen's family, because she's a terrible person. I hope she never gets to Kylie, never gets to Owen, never gets to Kylie's mother. I know a person like that. And I know that the least harmful outcome is that she dies. It sounds horrible, but I know how horrible it feels for them to just be able to contact you or your family.
As a mother, your situation as a teen broke my heart. There’s a part of me that wants to reach through to you, and hug your inner child and tell him everything will be alright in the end ❤️
Thank you for sharing your story with us, it's a part of a continuing healing process that you're going through. I haven't been through what you're going through, but I have experienced pain and disappointment in my life, as far as wishing death and hate on someone, it's a completely normal and a expected feeling considering what your mom has put you through. Eventually that hate will fade away because holding on to it too long eventually hurts yourself physically and emotionally, but that's something that will happen on it's own, when you're ready for it. We'll never be completely healed from the tragic events in our lives, with time we learn how to manage those feelings, and use them to help other people when they go through them, Buddy Guy ( a blues artist) was asked do you have to black to play the blues? He said , "Hell no, if you haven't had a bad time, just keep livin." Thanks again Owen.
Owen, I hope you read all of the comments and take heart in how much support you have. You will see that many people have experienced pain such as yours. It might not make it easier but it could help you to heal. Rock on brother and keep up all of your good work. We love you.
You remind me so much of my dad. My grandpa just tried to get in contact with me last week and I felt guilty for rejecting him until now thank you, I need to remember that he is not a good person. Everyone out there stay strong
Owen, I’m so sorry this was done to you! I started to skip watching this, because I knew it would resonate with what my parents did. I’m glad I’ve watched it, though, even though I’m almost in tears. I have CPTSD from my experience growing up with two profoundly selfish and mean-spirited people. What I hear in your voice is so raw and painful, and if you wish her dead, you have good reason. If that’s what it takes for her to leave you alone, you are quite justified in wishing for relief from her persistent abuse. My parents are both gone, now, but sometimes, when I think of my father’s abuse of my brothers & me, I want to yank him up out of that grace, & kill him all over again. Owen, everything you feel is a normal reaction to a cruel and twisted situation, and I hope you know that. In fact, what you’ve achieved here has been in spite of the fact that your parents tried to destroy you. That’s impressive af, and you should allow yourself that praise. You’ve helped a lot of people, and turned what was done to you into compassion and insight. I’m so glad that the people who love you actually have your back. Please take care of yourself, and I hope you find joy in your travels today.❤️
My heart goes out to you. My JW mom blistered my legs with a switch after any time she was angry after arguing with a house holder at the door. My mom now shuns me too. It's not easy.
You’re not dropping the ball. You’re doing your grief work. Please take your time. So sorry for your losses. I don’t think it’s wrong to wish death on a person but I definitely don’t think it’s good for you forever. 🙏🏼💞
So sorry that you had to go through this. I cannot even imagine going through that at such a young age. You have been through so much. You do so much for people now.
I was disfellowshipped twice by 18. It really messed me up later when i was older with kids. Add the molestations that occurred all around my childhood amd when i hit 40, my mind fell apart. Take care of yourselves whwn u are young. You will reach a place u can't push through.
I lost my son to a cult years ago. He truly believes his entire family is influenced by the devil. Thank you for what you do Owen. You are welcome in my home anytime.
So sorry, Kevin. It has to be heartbreaking with a child. My ex husband joined a cult and became furious when I wouldn't join. He told me I was possessed by the devil, as well, and tried to hit him out of me. It's astonishing how strong cult influence can be.
Be well.
What "Cult"?
@@baldwinthefourth4098 stfu you know what a cult is
@@baldwinthefourth4098 World Mission Society Church of god. From South Korea.
@@eliseh.7474 Thanks for the reply. Amazing how convinced people can be. They would rather trust strangers than their own loved ones. Wow.
For very different reasons, I left home at 13 and disowned my mother entirely when I was in my 20s. Police tracked me down to let me know she died. I was relieved I didn't have to worry about her showing up any more.
When blood doesn't reach the heart, it serves no purpose. No belief, social circle, relationship or threats of hell could make me shun my daughter. Love yourself enough to cut those ties Owen. It'll be the best thing you do for yourself.
What did you tell the police when they told you?
Have you read jenette mccurdys memoir, I'm glad my mom died? I'm so glad I did
You were GLAD that your mother died?
Be ashamed of yourself.
@@paulboger7377 The gentleman told me she died the day before and explained how she died and my response was that I wasn't surprised. He seemed perhaps a bit put off by my lack of emotion and rather stoic responses. I thanked him for letting me know and I simply hung up the phone and that was it. I made no arrangement nor did anyone call back. I think they got the message.
@@ambermchugh9381 I have not. It sounds like a title that could be helpful to so many unable to come to terms with not liking a family member as they feel obligated to though.
The technique she used, befriending people close to you is called triangulation and it's as common a technique as gaslighting is with narcissists. To add, one narcissistic parent is a nightmare, two are just indescribable.
She also will have told her version of the story to her entire kingdom hall. She will have stood up to tell it and got a big round of applause from everyone in the congregation. I've heard them doing it on the zoom meetings. They are scum, move on you are well rid
It’s a shame that this happened to you at such a young age. This is what organized religion does to individuals and families alike. Shunning a family member is despicable and again, I’m sorry that that happened to you. I’m glad you got back on your feet and made yourself a good life.
I am a firm believer that upon reaching adulthood you choose your friends and ersatz family. Before that, shunning is serious mental abuse and deserving of legal consequences.
Become pregnant 🤰 pregnant 🤰
I was under the impression that shunning was for things like abusers who were removed from the family until I was a teen when I learned it's for abusers to control family members.
I agree that its all shameful, but I will say that I think its better to experience it when you're young. At older ages, you have signed contracts and interwoven your affairs with people in ways that become very difficult to extricate yourself from.
Certainly, its better not to experience these things at any time, but mature adults will have to rebuilt their lives at 30, 40, 50. They'll often have spouses and children and those relationships will break up in addition to parental bonds. Or they'll have missed out on starting a family due to religious constraints.
I am so very sorry Owen, have you ever considered going to a therapist about this to help you? Therapy helped me deal with crazy people in my life. That’s why I said that. I’m so sorry this happened to you. That’s all I can say is I am so so very sorry. It’s awful to have a person that can’t admit they were wrong and the damage they did. You did not deserve that, and it’s horrible what she did. Sending a hug to you. A big hug. It does feel like there’s no justice sometime. And it’s so very unfair. We do love you, and appreciate you.
I was kicked out into the streets by my ultra strict Seventh Day Adventist parents at age 15. I was made a scapegoat and a bad object because I had a girlfriend, they didn't like... I was not allowed to form my own identity or make any choices as a teen cuz Adventism is ultra controlling... Religious trauma is real, and I have PTSD from it. No contact is the only way to go with narcissists.
Did you know that way back originally, JWs were an offshoot of Seventh Day Adventists? Adventists do the holidays, etc., JWs branched off to exclude holiday celebrations and form the Blood doctrine and really formalize the abuse of shunning.
Owen my heart goes out to you.
Get thicc PREGGOS 🤰 🤰
Oh my gosh me too, thank goodness alpha force zero is a smart, smart kid. How sad that her grandma is soooo effing toxic
Mine too. Such a strong guy, he went too this stuff and remained happy
@@ambermchugh9381
Kylie is a sweetie!
I know what it’s like to have a narcissistic mother. She tried to keep a relationship with my sister not because she wanted to make amends with her no it was only so she can see her grandson. I haven’t talked to my mom is 3 years and she’s been out of my life since then and I permanently cut contact with her recently. It’s inspirational to hear your story Owen.
Thicc PREGGOS
@@richarddavis8863 nice, also can you PLEASE GET PREGNANT 🤰?
@@theaviandinosaur2.0 what is wrong with you???
If anyone thinks that shunning a teenage child out of their family’s lives is an appropriate “punishment”, then you are a psychopath.
Owen, you were a child who was deserted by the only people in this world who should have been unconditional in their love and regard for you. I cannot begin to express how proud I am of the person you have become and the positive energy you put out into this world. I know that Kylee is a lucky girl to have you for her father because you have internalized just how awful it is to be raised by such despicable, contemptible "parents." I have long been a supporter of yours and will continue to send all positive, healing energy your way. Thank you for your articulate, compassionate insights. At 70 years of age, I have learned a lot from you. All best wishes to you.
So sorry she refuses to leave you alone. You’re doin a great job💜 RIP Sue and Dee
My maternal grandmother died of liver cancer in the late 80's. I hope she enjoyed every bit of the excruciating pain. She was a truly malevolent entity you could write horror stories about and the damage she inflicted was spread across generations.
How bad was she? Very near death she used the last of her strength to psychologically torture my mother. A very Cotton Hill moment.
I dunno, Cotton's at least kinda funny. But yeah, I understand what you mean, they're both pretty dickish.
I appreciate you opening up like you did, my mother is a new found Evangelical Christian and has become completely lost. Hers lies and her hate have not only driven me and my half-brother away but also her brothers and sisters. The manipulation never ends and the lies are always being spread with her always as the victim. I'm sorry you too had to endure that friend
I think even texting your mom confirming that you know about her manipulation efforts, that mightve been narcissistic supply for her. It confirms she caused pain. Absolute blocking is probably the right action.
My LDS husband who was divorcing me for another woman. Threw me n my 5 kids out of the house. (from a previous Mormon marriage) . My family shunned me; said I must have sinned. And the church shunned me! So my heart goes out to you! 💞I spent about 5yrs. In shelters or couch surfed.
Hope you and especially the kids are doing well despicable that you had to go through something like that
@@moustachio05 thank you! The kids are well n grown!
All doing well. It was a long time ago. But you don't forget it.
@@QE1beth i don't have a problem with religion in general but cults and fundamentalism are truly cancerous and its ridiculous that we as societies all around the world allow them to exist
This is why churches shouldn't be considered charities. Because sure they help you.....
IF
If you are part of the congregation. If you are in good standing. If you never make waves. If you never speak of past abuse. If you never talk back against your husband/father/priest/pastor. If you don't fight against them indoctrinating your childern etc.
Like you have to be the WORTHY poor. Instead of seeing a family suffering and just offering to help they want to make sure you are jumping through all the right hoops.
And they are totally willing to 'forgive' the pastor for banging half the youth group- but a woman leaves her abusive husband and she is somehow unforgivable?
It's hypocritcal and disgusting.
I watched this live and I watched it again. It reminds me of what I went through growing up with my Christian/conservative mom. They are very judgmental and punishing people. You’re easily one of my favorite TH-camrs and I very much enjoy hearing you speak. Please keep your head up and know you are loved, even if by people you’ll never meet.
I relate to this so much. I left at 18 because I was kicked out for the same reason. My parents told me they wanted me to be able to hit rock bottom so that I “would have to look up and see Jesus”. It still haunts me. And it made me resent religion ever since.
It's not religions fault
@@trolledfrog678 It kinda is actually.... the religion is what made the parents hate the kid...
The truth is you've been mourning your mom's loss since you escaped. When you quit trying to have a relationship, you're finally done grieving.
I wanted to cry hearing you tell your story. My mother’s second husband was abusive and vindictive to my brother and me, he is the only person I ever couldn’t grant forgiveness, and the only person I ever wished dead. Take good care of yourself and your daughter, even though your mom owned some of your past, she absolutely doesn’t own your future.
I’m so sorry you went through all that. I also hope the bitterness will be healed. Some parents should not have been parents at all. I literally shed tears while listening to you.
Your an inspiration Owen! I was homeless last year for eight months, lost my wife and three kids (and everyone else I knew) because I stumbled on your story as an active witness of 18 years, and realized shunning is wrong. You helped wake me up and I’m so grateful for you! I barely survived my homeless/shunning experience and I was 45 years old, running my own business. I can’t imagine losing everything in 11th grade. I’m proud of you Bro, thanks for your work!!
file a restraining order against her
what your mom is doing is unacceptable
I'm sorry Owen. I'm old enough to be your mom but I've got a similar story. I've had people think it's awful that I don't speak to my parents, who are still living and in their 70's. But after therapy, I realized there's nothing that says I have to continue to punish myself and suffer by continuing to let them be manipulative, judgemental , verbally & emotionally abusive. (My mom quit hitting me when I was 17 and I grabbed her hand mid swing and wouldn't let go until she said she wouldn't hit me.) I quit speaking to them almost 16 years ago. I was able to get sober. (Painkillers, I also was on Suboxone for 7 years.) Much of my addiction was me self medicating to escape and gain some relief from the anxiety and OCD. And my life has never been more peaceful. I no longer agonize over holidays. I don't get sick to my stomach when I see their number on caller ID. And it has allowed me to be a much better mother.
Hang in there. It gets better. And keep telling your story! If it only helps one person, it's worth it. 😇
My chest burns with anger listening to how your mother has treated you and then Kylie,
And my heart aches like all Hell listening to how you were shunned, and the aftermath of it.
I am so glad my Grandmother was able to get out of this cult before anything bad could happen. My Grandmother was talked into joining when I was just a toddler. She was in it for over a year and my Mom, my Uncle, and my Grandfather were able to talk her out of staying there. The ultimatum was, "It's either them or your family because we want no part in a cult that doesn't allow birthdays or holidays." My Grandmother chose us. I can only imagine what horrible things could have happened if she chose to stay with them. I'm sorry all this happened to you, Owen. The world is filled with such horrible people.
I met with LDS missionaries at one point and I’m actually glad my dad opened my eyes before getting any more serious or deeper into that.
This women isn’t even worth the death wishes, i wouldn’t even waste your breath. I know what it’s like to have to worry about someone you’re related to, constantly hanging over your shoulder trying to manipulate your life in anyway they can. I wouldn’t even risk anything bad i wish upon them coming back onto me because they’re not even worth that. my heart goes out to you Owen, and you should feel proud of the life and platform you’ve built for yourself despite such disgusting bs trying to keep you down.
Man, I was so triggered. I get it. So brave and amazing to share. I came up in a loving loving family. My ex husband used my kindness and forgiveness and manipulated me to think I was less than. I feel you brother. He broke down my spirit. Convinced anyone who’d listen that I went crazy after my ma died. I just get it. Thank you for sharing
The Mennonites practice shunning too (well, they used to). One of my aunts was shunned for getting pregnant outside of wedlock. When she passed, the family didn't know what to say at her memorial, so they had me speak. Probably because my mom had kicked me out too when I was a teenager. Idk, but I'm sorry you had to deal with all of these things. Thank you for sharing your story, Owen, and I'm so sorry for your loss. 😥
You don't have to be sorry about anything man, we absolutly get it and we are here to support you
Thanks for sharing this, Owen. I feel for you immensely. I also feel relieved to hear that I'm not the only one who eagerly awaits the death of a parent (both parents, in my case).
Your mother deserves nothing. The world will be a better place without her. As for Sue, I'm glad you had her in your life, and I'm so sorry for your loss.
Hi Owen. I was 17 when I got kicked out. I refused to go to c😊😊hurch anymore. So, my things were put in trash bags and suddenly I was homeless too. ❤ My best friend let me live with her. Thank goodness I didn't have to hide.
Thank you for sharing this. My story is extremely similar to yours and just like your mother, mine also eventually went directly to my oldest child. She threw me out and cut me off, but now years later she thinks she is going to get to play the loving grandmother? Not a chance. Not to mention that my oldest is gay and my mother is still in her cult. I’ve been watching you for quite a few years and took a lot of comfort from your videos. I hate to see you so upset, but thank you for making me feel a little less alone, Owen.
I relate to this to an uncomfortable degree. My parents were and are actively abusive towards me too. I'm happy my dad is dead. My mom still fucks with my life and I just want to be done with it. I changed my name and moved and she still showed up at my door. My life had been thoroughly ruined by my horrible parents. I'm even facing homelessness at the end of this year, and my mom still is making shit harder for me. I know what it's like to have to deal with those thoughts. I'm sorry.
My mom and dad would find any opportunity to make me into someone I'm not. It took me 18-19 years into my life to realize who I am. Even with a relationship, I don't know what it's like to be loved by family. I hope you're okay.
I thought I was the only one who doesn't know what it's like to be loved by family.
@@Mari_Oh You're not. And I'm glad I have someone that has the same thing about it.
I can't imagine what this is like for you and it's brave to open up like this. My heart goes out to you. We love you and stay strong
I'd like to think of it this way: the woman who birthed you isn't necessarily your "mother". I would give that title to Sue, who actually acted like one.
I hope that your memories of your birth-giver can be replaced by those of Sue, and that your birth-giver will stop trying to pry her way into your life again.
That is a horribly traumatic event and it happens to a lot of LGBTQ kids too. It is child abuse and should be regarded as a criminal act.
I agree with you
My mother kicked me out too. Same background, abusive father, quite mother. It wasn't religion based. She expected me to get a certain job/degree. I said no I wanted a different one. When I didn't get in, it was basically a year of psychological abuse that I was never going to get what I wanted. When I got denied again, same story. See yourself out. Slept in a basement for a year in MI wearing a ski jacket to bed. I was lucky to have friends who let me sleep there for free, with the only requirement being we had to play video games at the end of every day. I ended up getting what I wanted. She started bragging about how great of a mother she is because of what I did. She'll never understand why I have no respect for her, and why she will not have a significant presence in my children's lives.
I can hear the real pain in your voice. The genuine heartbreak in the tremor as you speak. May your find peace in your heart ❤️
Rest in peace Sue, such a gentle soul.
You're a strong man for being this honest Owen, i appreciate that very much. Glad to see you can deal with heavy things like this by sharing it with us. Good for you bro, and thanks for your enlightening videos!
The ancient Egyptians say that we die 2 deaths. The 1st is when we take our last breath.The 2nd is when someone whispers our name for the last time.
Today you made Sue into a goddess, her name will be uttered for eternity! ❤
im currently in an abusive household and hearing you talk about this openly was weirdly comforting. i rly appreciate ur channel pls keep ur head up high
Shortly before my father died from cancer, he said he wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy. I can only tell you that I doubt I would ever say it. Having said that (and having heard some of the things you've had to endure) I can understand it - and I don't judge anyone, because we all have different circumstances and different experiences.
Dear Owen!
I am so sorry this is still happening to you and that your mom is not leaving you alone. I would look into getting a restriction order against her via a lawyer if she’s not stopping. Other than that, you had the right idea: just block every number and account she’s using. And stick together with the ones you love and love you back.
A hug from me. I appreciate all the work you do on your channel.
Man, that's so hard to listen to (emotionally). I can't imagine the trauma it causes to a child to be betrayed by their parents like that. Accept my condolences, I'm sorry it happened to you.
💜💜💜💜 My heart goes out to you, Kylie, Katie, and everyone else who keeps getting her messages. I know how easy it is for crappy family members to throw your life totally off kilter, and just know we totally understand and support you. Sue sounds like she was so sweet and supportive and I’m so sorry for your loss. 💜💜💜💜
You have to let them go as much as possible. I can relate in so many ways what's happened to you. Not many people realize how hard and how much damage it can do. My mom when I came out said that I "Was not even a human" for being gay. I was told a long time ago that sometimes for your own survival and sanity is to let them go. They don't love you because they are ashamed of you. You are a disgrace and they will side with the very people that hate you and wish to harm u
Owen, this is so familiar to me. You are so brave to come out publicly with this pain. I can relate to a toxic mother - imaging being whipped from behind with a wet dishcloth at the dinner table! Threatened with a knife by your own mom. hit over the head with a broom stick. I can hear my own pain in you voice. Thanks for sharing.
Jesus dude. You should talk to a therapist. This seems pretty raw.
As someone who has been through a similar situation, I think the fact that’s he’s being open to us is incredibly encouraging. Sometimes it’s easier to not bring it up, but when it shows up again you can’t avoid it.
@@loribethartist6353 I can hear the pain. Its so sad.
I’ve never heard of someone who prepared “spare” presents just in case anyone was missed, or short on presents or an unexpected guest came around. That is just amazing. Just in case. My gawd. What a truly incredible and loving soul. Watching this video and learning about such a beautiful being… I’m crying at the knowledge she is no longer with us and I never even met her.
I’m sorry for everything you’ve had to go through, Owen. Thank you for all that you do.
As someone who once had to deal with a nacassistic step mother at 1 point, I completely sympahtize with you. While I was never a JW, I know the kind of damage those type of people can do to. I still have some PTSD from those days with the step mom, although I have recently started seeing a specialist to help me from have spontanious episodes. Memories like that will unfortunately stick with you & are very hard to shake.
Big hugs & condolences to you Owen. Losing someone that close to you in your life is never easy. And knowing that there are always unforgiveable & horrible people ready to pounce at the slightest moment of weakness. I hope you & your family can stay strong through this.
We are here for you to unload. Thank you for sharing your personal story.
I was traumatized by someone, and while it feels ugly to have these kinds of feelings about them, I find that as much as I’m angry at that person, wishing them gone comes from a place of fear. It’s difficult to feel at peace knowing that someone who has repeatedly hurt you is still out there and capable of hurting you again. I hope you manage to find your peace, that’s clearly a huge weight that you’re carrying.
Sue sounds like a great, open and loving person. I'm glad for you that you had her in your life.
Hey man, I grew up a JW for the first 18 years of my life. Fortunately my parents are good people deep down and did not shun me. If my parents did that to me, then I would definitely wish death upon them as well. Your feelings are completely valid.
You were never baptized?
@@Eric_01 When I was young I wanted to be baptized. My mom was smart and wouldn’t let me till I was older. I figured out I was an atheist around 14 or 15 so I never pursued it after that. I was still stuck in the religion until I was 18 though.
Your a good man! I don’t know about wishing someone dead, but use that knowledge from your childhood to be the best dad you can be. I hope you're working through this pain in whatever way that's right for you. Know that you're saying important things and exposing the world to difficult but vital info. Hang in there do your best and forget the rest.
Owen. I am so sorry for your loss. Got me frickin crying over here.
And wishing death in my books isnt usually justified, but your mother deserves to rot slowly. I hope she doesnt die till shes 80 when all her bones are cancerous and she is just living my machines your years. Given time to reflect what she has done to you.
I’m dealing with very very similar situations right now and this video really hit me hard. I feel like we would be friends as we seem similar and our mothers sound identical. Sending you good vibes brother.
✊
Thank you for sharing this Owen I’ve dealt with zealot family members myself over the years but I can safely say u had worse parents than me ,I’m sorry to hear u had to endure that crap. I wish u well and I look forward to viewing more of your content.
I am so thankful that you had Sue and Dee in your life. Sorry your mom couldn’t change and be present for you; it’s definitely her loss, because you are an obviously an ethical, caring and intelligent man with a great sense of humor. I wish you much love and support in your life.
As a survivor of a covert narc, no contact is the best option. Its hard. And you will still hear her voice in your head. In time, you will heal. You are not a bad person for wanting toxic people out. They are bad for making you hurt bad enough.
I'm in the same boat as you coming from an abusive family. I didn't in any shape or form cry or was upset at my dad's funeral and people couldn't understand why? My family thought I was in denial, completely ignoring the fact that I was constantly abused by him. Thank you for sharing your journey.
As someone with a narcassistic manipulative gaslighting mother themselves, I look forward to the day when she won't be here anymore, so I can understand why you look forward to your own passing as well. It's completely understandable Owen.
Thank you, this is one of your best videos recently. It helps to hear your experience and yes, I know how it feels to be a 15 year old boy in the forest at night not knowing where to sleep 'cause my elder stepfather through me out of the house after beating me up on the Livingroom floor for playing Tekken 3.
I do not think it is generally wrong to wish Death on someone that put you through something like your mum did, especially as you had to experience such injustice. Still I think, from, experience, for YOU it will be relieveing when the time comes that you can let the rage go. And integrate. But there is no rush. And also there is no one you owe anything to.
I got kicked out at 15 when I told my teacher my brother committed a crime against me from the ages of 10-14. He was 15 when it started. My parents decided to protect him instead of me. Luckily I had somewhere to go. It wasn’t a great home but they treated me well. My parents realized I was happier there and they didn’t have control over me. They forced me back into their house. I am now 17 and I just got my first apartment. The taste of freedom is amazing. I’m trying to hide and stay safe until I’m 18. People with non narcissistic parents will never understand. My best friend has good parents. I told him if I couldn’t escape I’d most likely be dead before October. I told him I planned on running away. He couldn’t comprehend he called me an idiot, he told me it was a horrible idea. Asked me “how can you not just deal with 6 more months?” Most of my dads side of the family is abusive. Some of the kids on that side understood and helped me get out. I start college on the 26th, one is helping me make rent. Some people will never understand the pain that comes from horrible parents. Some people will. A lot of the people on your channel have something in common. We live in pain. We view the world through pain. Pain makes us tick. We get you. A lot of us have these stories. I’m so so sorry you had no where to go. I’m sorry you didn’t have help. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with this. We understand as much as people can though. Some of us get that people like your mother are scum of the earth. Don’t feel bad for hating her or wishing her harm. We get it. This channel is a hopeful light for some of us. A place of support to get through the horrible darkness and see light. Thank you for being vulnerable. From one kid born into a cult to another thank you for escaping and being brave enough to help the rest of us get out as well.
Woah you've got an awful lot to deal with and my heart goes out to you 💙 Life can be so cruel and painful, especially when we're in situations like this.
I'm now 23 but I left home at 17 too because of my abusive, narcissistic and extremely religious parents. I was desperate. I felt the same frustration you feel right now when people say "but it's no big deal, just put up with them" as if that it easy. It's not. It's hell. We'd rather unalive ourselves (sorry TH-cam blocks comments when certain words are used)
People have no idea how vulnerable and scared you become when you're all by yourself, with no family to look out for you. If things go wrong financially, the issue falls on our shoulders. We have to become grown up long before our friends do. It truly sucks. But you're brave, you're strong and you can fight this.
My advice from having been on this rugged road for the past 6yrs is - make sure once you're financially stable, seek a proper therapist who specialises in traumatology and CPTSD. Lots of therapists out there don't understand that simply talking about your feelings doesn't heal those wounds. You need proper practical advice in how to deal with triggers, anxiety, depression, etc.
Until then there's a couple licenced mental health professionals that helped me with their content on TH-cam - Dr Ramani (she talks a lot about Narcissists) and Patrick Teahan. It's important that you deal with all the mental crap that would've been caused.
Also make sure that if a friend offers you help, take it. You're not weak or a failure for needing lots of support right now. Also seek help from shelters, food banks, benefits/welfare, crisis centres, etc. These are in place to help get you on your feet.
Take good care of yourself and don't give up. Sending my love as a fellow estranged person 💙
What your mother did was heartless, wholly irresponsible, and outright illegal. I'm so sorry that you had to go through EVERYTHING that her actions put you through, and as a person whose parents have been very supportive of my life choices, I'm saddened to learn that someone whose content I enjoy did not have those same fortunes.
I hate very few things in this world more than a parent that abandons their child. I saw at a young age (5 or so) what it did to an equally young family member and it breaks my heart every time.
You are 100% okay with how you feel. I know how you feel. Focus on your own kids, and your own life. Just leave all that behind, and be the best version of yourself you can be.
My daughters Olivia and Katie Docherty. They are 20 and 17 are not shunned by me.
I shun no one.
I would shun the shunners and call them true evil.
My ex husband and I are not religious. We were separated/divorced in 2010. We have joint custody. They were with me all their lives but were always able to and encouraged to spend time with their Dad and his family as well.
My ex husband was remarried to someone who comes across like your mom. Apparently she has tried alienation tactics toward me since my daughters moved in with their Dad in her lease after their marriage. I have one thing say. Justice is going to be a bitch for her
Owen... I can hear the heartbreak in your voice... see the sorrow in your eyes... the fact that you've been shunned and she's STILL trying to control you by manipulating others around you... no, the world needs people like this to go away. this is... beyond the pale.
I can relate I was disowned by my parents because they hated me because I am wheelchair-bound and exposed the abuse they pit me though They were in cult that told them my birth brain injury was a curse and that I was unwanted by God otherwise i'd be healed Owen your channel has helped me greatly and toy are a credit to the human race and the even though we are not related but i'd be glad to call you a brother! Your family friends and clients are all stronger because you are in their lives... Blood does not always mean family bt love does you sir are loved!
I’m sorry that this has happened to you. Your mom sounds just like my mother in law. My husband hates his mom and we cut her off in 2003. It’s been 20 yrs of no contact with my in laws and we have been much happier for it. Live your life and keep her drama far away from yourself. You will be much happier for it
I stood up to my father because I was tired of the sexual ,mental and physical abuse ...he disowned me. He wouldn't allow my mother to contact me ,which is bull shit !! My family tried to contact when he died ,I made some excuse that I never got the message about the funeral...I couldn't go ,I would NOT go ...because I would have danced on his gravesite with glee. Don't feel guilty ...❤️❤️
As a victim of abuse myself, I feel for you. Losing somebody you care about hurts, so much. Take all the time you need, let out all those feelings, take comfort in your family and those who care about you. You have all of our support.
I just wanna reach through the screen and give you a hug. You have literally nothing to apologize for. Nothing.
You take the time you need, Owen. You've suffered much more than I had to at the hands of an abuser, and you held your composure extremely well. You're strong and compassionate, and we're lucky to have you here for us. Thank you so much for all that you do.
My heart goes out to you, Owen. I'm so sorry you had these awful (an understatement) parents and wretched growing up years because of them. I don't blame you at all for your current feelings about your mom. If it helps at all, I can tell you are a good person and a great dad, the complete opposite of your own parents. You are putting a lot of good into the world and I hope it helps you to know that. I'm glad you had Sue and Dee in your life and I'm so sorry for your loss.
My mother died a couple months ago at the age of 65 and I wrote a long article about her unwavering kindness because I wanted to make sure she was remembered for that. My girlfriend/mother of my child had an incredibly abusive father and a mother who did nothing to stop him so for about 7 years my mother was a mother to her and in a lot of ways she took it harder than me because she didn’t have that relationship growing up. She would say the same thing you say about your mother about her father so from the bottom of both our hearts thank you for sharing this and know you’re not alone with this kind of story. It’s hard when it feels like monsters outlive those who were the most kind but having people to share that pain with helps a lot
I'm so grateful to you for this video. I'm relatively new to your material but our lives are dramatically similar in many horrible ways. Your videos have really helped me feel like less of a freak, I hope you take that for what it is. Thanks again Owen
Your plan isn't evil enough. 1) she gets cancer. 2) you reconcile, and as next of kin get medical poa. 3) you sign approval for a transfusion.
You turned out very fair. You are even kind. You are a good person. Please know that
My heart really goes out to you. I cannot imagine the pain you felt, and are feeling, and shall never pass judgement for wishing death to your mother. I hope hearing your story makes more people want to be like Sue.
Owen, I love this.
I had a very rough adolescence. Closeted lesbian, undiagnosed autism, mental health problems. But, I was very intelligent and pushed hard by family. Tiger parenting and anger issues in the family.
I made a friend in eighth grade. Her parents insisted on hosting all sleepovers for safety and culture reasons (but could still have). Big nice house. It was the place our little weird group went to.
I was her best friend, and so I spent as much time as I could at her house. I think I ended up putting her parents in the very awkward position of knowing I had concerning mental health symptoms because my friend had told, but not feeling okay about letting me know.
So I think they just tried to see me. The dad stopped yelling when I was around or joke “I am arguing on the phone, I’m not mad.” They both started asking if it was okay if they needed to touch me for some reason and told me that I could contact them in an emergency The mom asked me if everything was okay (I lied but she tried), and tried to show me a few calming techniques.
It was the first time I felt seen aside from spending time with my grandmother. It’s so important to find someone who sees you. Sue did that for you.
I am so sorry for your loss and about how your mom turned Sue against you. That in itself is a great loss, and I have similar feelings. because I want to reconnect with this family but am worried about not being accepted because of who I am.
I hope you find some peace. Find your prahna and take a deep breath!
I love you man. Sorry you have to go through this shit. We all got your back.
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through Owen. I don’t speak to my mother either and it’s very painful. Overall though it’s healthier for me as well as my sisters who also don’t speak to her. Remember that you have a community of supporters through your podcast. Sending you love and healing
My mom is a Narcissist and I was her scapegoat. I have been no contact with her for 15 years and she doesn't know my son. It scares me to think she might do the same thing to him. I know exactly what you went through because I went through the same thing. Except, I ran away. I was 16 at the time, but was sick of her abuse and would do anything to escape it. When my mom dies, I plan on blasting Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead at her funeral.
That’s exactly what I did when my narcissistic b**** of a mom died. Ding Dong The Witch is Dead. I don’t have to worry about sabotage or flying monkey behavior behind my back .
I know it’s a long shot…but I hope your mom gets out.
Dude this goes deeper then religion it sounds with or without the religion she will be a crap narcissistic person, no disrespect to Owen meant at all.
She’d still be a narcissist IMO
I honestly don't, that isn't my hope. I hope she keeps away from Owen's family, because she's a terrible person. I hope she never gets to Kylie, never gets to Owen, never gets to Kylie's mother.
I know a person like that. And I know that the least harmful outcome is that she dies. It sounds horrible, but I know how horrible it feels for them to just be able to contact you or your family.
@@marysuze i suppose so. I just can’t stand cults like JW
Yeah, it probably wouldn't help much if she's that kind of person.
As a mother, your situation as a teen broke my heart. There’s a part of me that wants to reach through to you, and hug your inner child and tell him everything will be alright in the end ❤️
Thank you for sharing your story with us, it's a part of a continuing healing process that you're going through. I haven't been through what you're going through, but I have experienced pain and disappointment in my life, as far as wishing death and hate on someone, it's a completely normal and a expected feeling considering what your mom has put you through. Eventually that hate will fade away because holding on to it too long eventually hurts yourself physically and emotionally, but that's something that will happen on it's own, when you're ready for it. We'll never be completely healed from the tragic events in our lives, with time we learn how to manage those feelings, and use them to help other people when they go through them, Buddy Guy ( a blues artist) was asked do you have to black to play the blues? He said , "Hell no, if you haven't had a bad time, just keep livin." Thanks again Owen.
I was in tears right along with you my friend. I'm so sorry that I can't take your pain away, I can't imagine. Much unconditional love from Pittsburgh
Owen, I hope you read all of the comments and take heart in how much support you have. You will see that many people have experienced pain such as yours. It might not make it easier but it could help you to heal. Rock on brother and keep up all of your good work. We love you.
document everything, sue for harrassment and defamation.
You remind me so much of my dad. My grandpa just tried to get in contact with me last week and I felt guilty for rejecting him until now thank you, I need to remember that he is not a good person. Everyone out there stay strong
Owen, I’m so sorry this was done to you! I started to skip watching this, because I knew it would resonate with what my parents did.
I’m glad I’ve watched it, though, even though I’m almost in tears. I have CPTSD from my experience growing up with two profoundly selfish and mean-spirited people.
What I hear in your voice is so raw and painful, and if you wish her dead, you have good reason. If that’s what it takes for her to leave you alone, you are quite justified in wishing for relief from her persistent abuse.
My parents are both gone, now, but sometimes, when I think of my father’s abuse of my brothers & me, I want to yank him up out of that grace, & kill him all over again.
Owen, everything you feel is a normal reaction to a cruel and twisted situation, and I hope you know that. In fact, what you’ve achieved here has been in spite of the fact that your parents tried to destroy you. That’s impressive af, and you should allow yourself that praise. You’ve helped a lot of people, and turned what was done to you into compassion and insight. I’m so glad that the people who love you actually have your back.
Please take care of yourself, and I hope you find joy in your travels today.❤️
My heart goes out to you. My JW mom blistered my legs with a switch after any time she was angry after arguing with a house holder at the door.
My mom now shuns me too.
It's not easy.
What’s a switch?
A long thin twig that kids used to get hit with . It seems to be southern USA thing to call that a switch
@Seamus McKeon what dancingnature said.
@@dancingnature yes. And I've always wondered about the etymology of that term.
Thanks!
So sorry this happened to you.
Narcissistic parents suck big time. I know that from experience x
We're a big, sad club.
You’re not dropping the ball. You’re doing your grief work. Please take your time. So sorry for your losses. I don’t think it’s wrong to wish death on a person but I definitely don’t think it’s good for you forever. 🙏🏼💞
Owen! You are a better, stronger person now! Keep doing what your doing! You've helped is all!
So sorry that you had to go through this. I cannot even imagine going through that at such a young age. You have been through so much. You do so much for people now.
I was disfellowshipped twice by 18. It really messed me up later when i was older with kids. Add the molestations that occurred all around my childhood amd when i hit 40, my mind fell apart. Take care of yourselves whwn u are young. You will reach a place u can't push through.