Markiplier, the man who would sacrifice himself, for an eternity of suffering, so that we could have no problems in the world... Blew up Detroit for some cake
i feel that one was writin backwards "you get cake BUT everyone in detroit dies" as a consequence this was written like you are rewarded for a tragedy. the author of that dilemma clearly has psychotic issues towards detroit
@@EpicFail2388 Nah I like the way it's phrased, as that one is more of a joke than others. "If you press this button, everyone in Detroit dies." "Oh, well that's horrible! I don't want that." "But - you get cake." "Hmmm. I do like cake."
7:07 - "How BAD is this kidnapping?" Scott Cawthon makes you play *FNAF 4* on *All Nightmare Mode* for the entire week. If you beat it before the end of the week is up, you have to play *I Am Bread*.
MARK. I LIVE IN DETROIT. YOU KILLED ME. FOR CAKE. Edit: This comment has haunted me for 7 fucking years. I'm so tired of being reminded of my dumb all caps phase. Please let me die. I beg of you.
+Roxas theNobody Evil is a perspective, do you think rebel groups consider themselves evil? Think back to the Starwars movies, sure the Empire did some bad things, destroying the jedi orders, toppling one or two political people to gain majority of voting power, but more or less, they did not slash and burn the galaxy, then comes the rebels, blowing up TWO deathstars and several star-destroyer, as well as a mega-star destroyer, causing HUGE amounts of damage, and basically more or less causing the entire galaxy to go into a economic regression as stock prices plummit through the floor, everyone is out of a job!
$500,000 and year and kidnapped randomly for a week. What if you WERE kidnapped by the same person every time? imagine that conversation Kidnapper: Hey Mark. Mark: Hey Phil. is it that time of year again? Kidnapper: Yep. Where am I hiding you this year? Mark: How about Disney W-land? Kidnapper: I hid you there last year.
The Grudge doesn’t necessarily kill you; she could just be following you 24/7. Just imagine having a ghost buddy right behind your back; no thief would want to get close!
So.... Here I am in Southfield (a city touching Detroit) sitting in my yard on a lawnchair watching 20,000+ nukes go off in Detroit. My everything feels funny.
With the ending all of the worlds problems by taking them over by yourself. Comas are a problem. I’d just be in a coma forever. So I wouldn’t ever notice I was suffering.
@@nopefish7788 It said "without death for enternity", it's not much a different from immortal. Even if you can die, someone else have to take the job or nothing won't change. I'm talking about it too seriously, i know.
@@rucketship3259 What I'm saying is while suffering all of the world problems, it's also included torture and how can you avoid those painful feeling when you can't die?
+ZLScratch all of the above... you get a cake, you don't have enough time to eat it, your corpse then gets the cake, your corpse becomes alive turning into a zombie and being the last person in Detroit to be "alive" and get cake c:
Savi Napolitano it depends in what order, can i be a wizarf in the hg? Do i get to flirt with jennifer lawrence or emma watson, i need more details lol
I can imagine the kidnapping one, as if it's the same person doing it, "Hey Ted, back for the annual kidnapping?" "Yep." "Cool, you wanna go get a pizza with the ransom money?"
A large amount of diseases involve the eventual loss of sanity, and feeling. You wouldn’t really suffer for all eternity because you wouldn’t be in a state of mind to comprehend the pain, and your body would be so obliterated that it wouldn’t be able to register the pain. I’d like to live a long life first, but when I’m old and ready to go, I may as well leave behind a perfected society as opposed to just kicking the bucket.
I think it's more of, whenever someone gets injured or sick, it gets transferred to you. Your body stays in great shape so you can still feel the pain because if you couldn't feel the pain, where does the pain go?
There is an SCP where this is basically their life. They have the ability to take on injuuries and damage, their brother made it so they absorbed enough disabilities so that they didnt have to understand what was going on because the foundation didnt want to terminate them
Bruh, if you had magic and the ability to do literally anything you want, you could create your own variation of the internet to get around that negative. HELL YEAH I'D PRESS THAT BUTTON
This question is the paradox of omnipotence or something like that. If God creates a rock too heavy for him to lift, he still could because he can do anything. And ("And", not "But") he couldn't since the rock is too heavy. And to resolve this problem, you could just give yourself enough power to change that rule. Problem solved!
“Sometimes a longer life isn’t always a better one, in the end you just get tired, tired of the struggle, tired of losing everybody that matters to you, tired of watching everything...turn to dust” - the 10th doctor
The thing is the human brain can only hold 1000 years of memory so after that 1000 years you'll forget it all now its up to you to decide if that's better or worse
@@mtgaming8501 then again, that means that you have to wait 10 lifetimes to forget all your sorrows, and a lot more can happen in that amount of time, so its still an endless nightmare
+MoreThanARose You guys are lame, a dessert that isnt even that good, over a whole damn city WITH Families. Everybody V.S Detroit how dissapointing. -_-
$20 every time you inhale is an unfathomable amount of money, which you could use to hire exotic chefs to prepare the bucket of spiders to make a delicious treat, I've heard they can be amazing if cooked properly.
That is true you would be the richest man alive and you could get profecionals to make a chocolate speed cake but Detroit dies but whip cream spider cake is probably a delecacy in some country's and Detroit redwing a suck
+SpideyGaming616 I rather die a hero, but only if people know what I have done and revere me as a hero for a long time. No point dying a hero when nobody knows about it.
What if you are on a roller-coaster! And the roller-coaster is about to crash! And the kidnapper gets you right before the roller-coaster crashes! So that is just basically the kidnapper saving your life!
I could not imagine a better way to spend a Saturday than sitting in a folding lawn chair, a plate of cake on my lap, a cool breeze blowing in off of the water, the orange light of the sun coating everything in its warmth, the smell of the trees wafting through the air, the sound of the birds in the trees punctuated only by the echoing screams of the entire populace of Detroit. *picks up Mjelnir* *smashes button into oblivon*
Two years later Mark regrets killing all us fans in Detroit. And in the Your Welcome tour Mark must apologize to save himself from getting murdered by everyone in Detroit
"You receive $500000 dollars every year for life but once a year at random you are kidnapped for a week." Me: *presses button* *_BOWSER WANTS TO KNOW YOUR LOCATION_*
I would press the last button because if I have the perfect life I wouldn't feel the need to share it to feel happier because I would already be the happiest I could possibly be.
you have magic that you can do anything, realistic or not, but you can't use the Internet... Um, hello, you can do anything ANYTHING, you could make something ten times better than the Internet *HECK YEAH IMMA PRESS DAT BUTTON*
Every disease at once? So you'll have for example narcolepsy and insomnia at the same time? Constipation and diarrhea? ... xD I wonder how that would work.
+Riomy13 Technically, most diseases would balance themselves. Other ones that don't have an opposite, like cancer, would stay the same. Around a quarter of diseases have an opposite disease. So about a quarter of diseases you won't suffer through.
+Spiningrazor There are also certain diseases that will directly target and kill other ailments. I don't remember any example, but I've heard of it multiple times before
***** Umm i did not speak to you but dont worry it happens to me a lot too. Its the youtube reply system. Anyways i dont hate people who like anime i only hate the fanatics (otaku)
kid that was in my 8th grade class had that disease... he told me about it... I didn't believe him... so he stuck a fucking pen INTO his hand!!! LIKE NOTHING EVEN HAPPENED!!!! IT WAS JUST STICKING OUT OF HIS HAND!!! swear to god... shit was crazy
kid that was in my 8th grade class had that disease... he told me about it... I didn't believe him... so he stuck a fucking pen INTO his hand!!! LIKE NOTHING EVEN HAPPENED!!!! IT WAS JUST STICKING OUT OF HIS HAND!!! swear to god... shit was crazy
Obviously thats y it was called the "You're Welcome Tour" his way of sayin "no need to thank me for killing you all for subpar cake" lol course the cake mighta been a lie so detroit died for nuthin lol
+Hannah Overton Me too! Also, a lot of states are raising the min wage by 2016 so you'd be making more later on. And, who knows, maybe it'll actually reach $15 some day which would be sweet.
+mimsydreams actually prices would go up because more money would be needed to pay workers. so it pretty much evens out. better to look for an above minimum wage job.
for the kidnapping one I just imagine it going like this. *wakes up and sighs* hi dave. Hey .... how are you? As good as a kidnapped rich person can be. I don't know why the kidnapper is named dave
How did 36% of people say that they would rather have the internet and TV than the power to do literally anything (other than have internet and TV)? I just find that ridiculous.
+Michael the Magician make a better version of the internet and rename it something else. You need to get porn somehow without getting crabs and herpes lol.
humans have an independent mind and depending I could get one that is a cock-blocking feminist, a disease carrying person, or a hot girl of my dreams. I am just saying I want a brain in my woman, but the possibility of feminism is way too high lol.
+MarkipIier are you just desperate for attention you are not the real markiplier and who i know that is if i go to your channel you have 0 subscribers and no videos
Immortality is a very f*cked up thing. If you lived forever, unable to die, you would see/do everything. Over time, your feelings would dull down and you would be nothing more than a husk of your former self. Pretty depressing how I said that [if poorly worded], but it is the harsh reality of such circumstances. I would like to be an Armored Core pilot... even if I have to remain wired into the systems JUST to survive.
So in other words you'd like to be immortal to anything caused/inflicted by a fellow human. And I assume you also want to be immune to illnesses/diseases?
I like how he decided he would be willing to endure eternal suffering for the betterment of mankind but would also be willing to genocide Detroit for a slice of cake
I have lived in Detroit and LA. Whenever I tell someone from each area that I have lived in the opposite area they always react like I lived in a 3rd world country.
I'm not from America but you hear things about Detroit Is it a bad place or what? I imagine it's like most cities and areas as in it has good and bad places?
+Caolan McNeill yeah, it's got good and bad places, it's just got a high crime rate. there are plenty of perfectly nice people and safe businesses and neighborhoods, but with any bigger city there's gonna be some crime.
7:38 I have a solution to this problem: According to my calculations, the average person will make - at minimum - $6,307,200 a year, solely off of inhaling. With that much money, you could pay a team of scientists and food experts to modify the spiders so that they are delicious. If for whatever reason you don't want to do that, you could easily grind up the spiders into powder, and then pour them into a smoothie. *mic drop*
You sir are wrong take 17.5 the average amount of breaths per minute of a twelve year old and multiply by 60 then 24 then 365 then see what you get. Wait it's different for everyone. +Jack Worman For Markiplier's perception of barfing it you would need to count inflation BUTT if you are just given the money then no need to worry about inflation. +Adam Whysong
fuck that, life is too short for that shit xD humanity is a tiny flash in the history of the universe, i'm not going to suffer for ever to make it a prettier flash
Animayir One RapidNameChange O.o Th-That doesn't sound pleasant... DON'T WORRY, MARK!!! I WILL GATHER A GROUP TO RESCUE YOU FROM THE BAD MEN AND WOMEN!!!
Eating spiders is considered a delicacy in some countries, I'm not sure which though. Nevertheless getting through a whole bucket would be kind of rough... But worth it!
If I really had a perfect life, but no one to share it with, that is not a perfect life. I know I would get depressed with myself, despite being successful, but I would become suicidal from the loneliness that I have to endure day after day. Wouldn't all of you?
Ah, but everyone has a different opinion on how their "perfect" would be. A true perfect like would be similar to an animal, no real control over your mind. it would be horrible, but you wouldn't know better.
I don't remember the Giver suffering from anything. I think he was more a way to see the outside world. been years since I read the book so I might be wrong
Benjamin DarkRune He was constantly haunted by the memories of all the terrible things in the past. Like war, torture, betrayal. All the negative and terrible things that plagued the world in the past was his to experience over and over again.
One of the most iconic Markiplier moments, "I blew up Detroit for a piece of cake."
That's what I came to see
I looked through these for like 30 minutes for it
A whole cake not a peice
Dude that better be good cake
ah yes, it's up there as well as his full on rant about Ashley dying
Mark: I'm not Hitler!
Also Mark: Nukes Detroit for cake.
Rustyguacamole AF lol
LMAO
500th like
Pretty much sums up Mark, yeah
He pressed it because of curiosity
You receive $500000 every year for your life but once a year at random you are kip-napped for a week.
This was what Princess Peach sign up for.
lol
This is true...
+Huy Bii And Princess Zelda.
But what if the man/whommen who kiddnaped had sex with you in a whole week
+Ask Master ...You mean "women"?
Markiplier, the man who would sacrifice himself, for an eternity of suffering, so that we could have no problems in the world...
Blew up Detroit for some cake
he deserves this reward for his suffering. detroit is a small price to pay for salvation
i feel that one was writin backwards "you get cake BUT everyone in detroit dies" as a consequence this was written like you are rewarded for a tragedy. the author of that dilemma clearly has psychotic issues towards detroit
@@EpicFail2388 My guess is that, or it's just a huge fucking joke.
Your version is more interesting tho so I'll go with that
@@EpicFail2388 And evidently, they REALLY don't like cake
@@EpicFail2388 Nah I like the way it's phrased, as that one is more of a joke than others.
"If you press this button, everyone in Detroit dies."
"Oh, well that's horrible! I don't want that."
"But - you get cake."
"Hmmm. I do like cake."
If only Mark knew that in 2017 he would go on tour and visit Detroit... they were very disappointed in you Mark😂
420th upvote
I just imagine when hes walking people just have a angry or dissapointed expression on their face when detroit people look at him in detroit
@@Quirked_Up_Cowboy holy shit go back to reddit
If I hadn't been in a car accident in 2016, I would have gone to that tour with cake out of spite. 😂😂😂
Mark the quote is
You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.
+Aoba Cake I thought the quote was "I'm the burtmaaaan!" (Jumps on car, batmask halfway on, coffee in hand and doughnut stains on boots.)
+GarretOakamber you forgot he not wearing pants
+GarretOakamber TRUTH!
My life.
+Aoba Cake Thank you, blessed Aoba Cake.
7:07 - "How BAD is this kidnapping?"
Scott Cawthon makes you play *FNAF 4* on *All Nightmare Mode* for the entire week. If you beat it before the end of the week is up, you have to play *I Am Bread*.
NOOOOØ
+KarlaRei that is absolutely brutal.... LETS MAKE HIM DO IT NEXT YEAR
***** And every time you scream playing I Am Bread, that's how many TIMES you have to play Vanish.
Faildude009 Next year? HOW ABOUT NEXT MONTH? He DID push the button after all, and I need some Christmas rage.
***** OHHH. That's just wrong.
And every time you roll your eyes in Until Dawn is how many cakes you have to bake in Baking Simulator.
Watching older Markiplier videos is like watching current Mark after he had about 4 Redbulls.
Agreed
It's like he aged 20 years in 3 actual years. He changed A LOT
Ye you are right
Yeah he used to be Jim Carrey, now he’s James Spader
Now he’s Keanu Reeves haha
MARK. I LIVE IN DETROIT. YOU KILLED ME. FOR CAKE.
Edit: This comment has haunted me for 7 fucking years. I'm so tired of being reminded of my dumb all caps phase. Please let me die. I beg of you.
+abblesindatardis Me too. We're both dead.
Me three. We all died, thanks to cake. I hate cake.
WAIT A MINUTE
Ha I live in utah noobs
That sucks rip man
+abblesindatardis But...*_You realise its Cake right?_*
I believe it was "you either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain."
Yeah. Somethin Like That
+LiveWire134679 Isn't that a quote from Unbreakable?
It's from The Dark Knight I know
I choose the latter, the trick is not to become the villain.
+Roxas theNobody Evil is a perspective, do you think rebel groups consider themselves evil? Think back to the Starwars movies, sure the Empire did some bad things, destroying the jedi orders, toppling one or two political people to gain majority of voting power, but more or less, they did not slash and burn the galaxy, then comes the rebels, blowing up TWO deathstars and several star-destroyer, as well as a mega-star destroyer, causing HUGE amounts of damage, and basically more or less causing the entire galaxy to go into a economic regression as stock prices plummit through the floor, everyone is out of a job!
$500,000 and year and kidnapped randomly for a week. What if you WERE kidnapped by the same person every time? imagine that conversation
Kidnapper: Hey Mark.
Mark: Hey Phil. is it that time of year again?
Kidnapper: Yep. Where am I hiding you this year?
Mark: How about Disney W-land?
Kidnapper: I hid you there last year.
XD
Mark: Wanna go to macdonalds? I'm feeling hungry.
Kidnapper: Sure but you're paying.
Mark: Alright tell me to come out once were there.
+Infinite_Zer0 Nah I don't plan on kidnapping mark
omg I'm dying!!! this is amazing:p
My name is Phil :-)
The Grudge doesn’t necessarily kill you; she could just be following you 24/7. Just imagine having a ghost buddy right behind your back; no thief would want to get close!
Exactly right. The fact she is _always_ following you implies _the entire 10 years,_ meaning she never actually catches you during that time.
casper the friendly ghost
So.... Here I am in Southfield (a city touching Detroit) sitting in my yard on a lawnchair watching 20,000+ nukes go off in Detroit.
My everything feels funny.
+Alomegasupreme - hug -
+Owlgirl77 OMG really
This is the only time where the Pistons make a good point about not being in Detroit
I love your pink hair
Here I am a little over a mile from 8 mile
3:22 mark tried to quote The Dark Knight when Harvey Dent says "You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain".
I thought that was mewtwo
So... Either you play the game, or you play Cloud?
"Everyone in Detroit dies BUT you get cake." Someone _really_ doesn't like Detroit.
Can you imagine the news reports? "Everyone in Detroit has mysteriously died yet more people are already moving there. It boggles the mind."
MadeofAwesome4ever I live in Detroit
Me too so we both died XD
I'd die with you guys too so no biggy
KingsleyIII I wouldn't push it because you would go to jail for murder
Detroit: Become Human
Did you mean Detroit: Become Cake?
did you get the cake ending? the cake ending was my favourite
@@GenericUsername-qp1ww This is the story of a man named Mark.
THE CAKE IS A LIE!!!!!!!!!
i was searching the comments for one about dbh yes!!
You have perfect pink hair,
BUT
It gains a mind of its own and floofs out every time you're on camera.
*Would you press the button?*
FUHK YES
+TheRogueWolf Pressed
+TheRogueWolf YES
+TheRogueWolf yes
+TheRogueWolf No, because I'm a dude and I don't want to have pink hair. Oh crap here comes the hate ;-;
I might not have the power to change the rule. But I'd have the power to find a loophole in it.
+Doctor Insane Build your own? No technology lasts forever, you might as well be the one to replace it.
Loopholes, they add fun to rules 😊
+Doctor Insane just use your power to change their names and suddenly you can use them
+Doctor Insane i like the way you think 👍
How about if you rename the Internet? And call it the Timmy (Fairly OddParents) or something. Does that count as a loophole?
Detroit: *exists*
Mark, with cake in hand: I'm about to end this city's whole career
Wait, why did I think that Detroit was a state?
@@mebbletheschmebble7508 lmao I thought so for the longest time as well
destroys detroit but the cake is a lie
Detroit, more like Destroit
@@driftbone3452 Nice one
With the ending all of the worlds problems by taking them over by yourself.
Comas are a problem. I’d just be in a coma forever. So I wouldn’t ever notice I was suffering.
But you'll still alive and how can you avoid the feeling? Even a slap in the face can wake you up.
It doesn't say that you are immortal. You can DIE if you want to.
@@nopefish7788 It said "without death for enternity", it's not much a different from immortal. Even if you can die, someone else have to take the job or nothing won't change.
I'm talking about it too seriously, i know.
@@rucketship3259 What I'm saying is while suffering all of the world problems, it's also included torture and how can you avoid those painful feeling when you can't die?
@@rucketship3259 Okay, sorry, bad English. Can't quite understood
His hair... is it alive?!?
Let's poke it and see if it moves *gets a stick*
+Comet the Kitty *scratches hair*
+Golden Ghostwolf
we must not disturb the cat while it poke the Warfstache hair
who knows what will happen
Caleb Habdas im a wolf idiot i do what i want
+Golden Ghostwolf edgy
57% blew up dretroit for the cake😂
The TNT Muffin who needs Detroit anyway? 😂
How dare you kill my fellow Michigan..people???
Its not that bad there tbh, I've been there once
I chows to blow detroit up for the cake
I would do the same
Aivaylas But caaaaaaaaake
What if you live in Detroit, do you get cake then die, does your corpse get a cake, are you the sole survivor?
+ZLScratch all of the above... you get a cake, you don't have enough time to eat it, your corpse then gets the cake, your corpse becomes alive turning into a zombie and being the last person in Detroit to be "alive" and get cake c:
+gavin mccullough XD
+ZLScratch i live in detroit you never get cake
+excaliber doezgamez Same and its true
tats whai you press the freakin button :D
MARK I LIVE IN DETROIT YOU KILLED ALL OF US FOR CAKE
very understandable
u should have moved
BOI
@Ugh Gaming stolen comment
"Understandable have a great day"
I did one that said "You can attend Hogwarts, but you have to fight in The Hunger Games."
Sounds like a win-win to me.
Savi Napolitano what about the battle of Hogwarts because both are lethal
Savi Napolitano it depends in what order, can i be a wizarf in the hg? Do i get to flirt with jennifer lawrence or emma watson, i need more details lol
Savi Napolitano yes.
Yaaassss 😎😎😎👍👍👍👍👍
U become a with or wizard in hogwarts then U go to the hunger games and do some witchypoo magic
I can imagine the kidnapping one, as if it's the same person doing it, "Hey Ted, back for the annual kidnapping?" "Yep." "Cool, you wanna go get a pizza with the ransom money?"
Awesome xD
"I Kidnap Burgie is filmed in front of a live hostage audience"
+Matthew Coldwell (CommanderCarrotCake) UHEHEUHAUHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHA (laugh track)
Omg that made my day XD
Awesome. Just awesome.
A large amount of diseases involve the eventual loss of sanity, and feeling. You wouldn’t really suffer for all eternity because you wouldn’t be in a state of mind to comprehend the pain, and your body would be so obliterated that it wouldn’t be able to register the pain. I’d like to live a long life first, but when I’m old and ready to go, I may as well leave behind a perfected society as opposed to just kicking the bucket.
Potato Patato
So you’ll become like Deadpool.
said u cant die. have fun suffering.
If I could I’d do it right away, I don’t deserve to live a happy life
I think it's more of, whenever someone gets injured or sick, it gets transferred to you. Your body stays in great shape so you can still feel the pain because if you couldn't feel the pain, where does the pain go?
There is an SCP where this is basically their life. They have the ability to take on injuuries and damage, their brother made it so they absorbed enough disabilities so that they didnt have to understand what was going on because the foundation didnt want to terminate them
"I blew up Detroit for a cake!" A price to pay for salvation.
We found thanos
End all the worlds problems vs suffer alone forever... ISNT THAT THE PLOT OF THE GIVER?
Pretty much
+abbeytoff oh my god... i just finished that... WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?!
IT ISSSS LOLOL
I'm currently reading that thanks! And yea basically
yes it is
Bruh, if you had magic and the ability to do literally anything you want, you could create your own variation of the internet to get around that negative. HELL YEAH I'D PRESS THAT BUTTON
+Aura Fox I KNOW RIGHT. it also says u cant use TV, so the only way to counteract this, u make a projection machine of your own design!
+Aura Fox Me too! Srsly who needs to wait for Fallout 4, or for anything? JUST MAKE IT REAL BABY!!!
+Aura Fox You could get to youtuber's homes and let them entertain you :3
DANCE MARKIPLIER, DANCE!
This question is the paradox of omnipotence or something like that. If God creates a rock too heavy for him to lift, he still could because he can do anything. And ("And", not "But") he couldn't since the rock is too heavy.
And to resolve this problem, you could just give yourself enough power to change that rule.
Problem solved!
+Aura Fox Not going to lie I would press the button too
I'm suprised detroit still let him go there for his tour! 😂 I went to his tour in Detroit and there where so many signs about that
x Wednesday x
Since I live in Detroit, I was so offended but was laughing my ass of at the same time.
IDrawCrapDrawings *insert last name here* same
OMG RLY XD BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
"Immortality isn't living forever, it's watching everyone else around you grow old and die."
Im up for that
So well said. I would never choose immortality if it came to that :(
“Sometimes a longer life isn’t always a better one, in the end you just get tired, tired of the struggle, tired of losing everybody that matters to you, tired of watching everything...turn to dust” - the 10th doctor
The thing is the human brain can only hold 1000 years of memory so after that 1000 years you'll forget it all now its up to you to decide if that's better or worse
@@mtgaming8501 then again, that means that you have to wait 10 lifetimes to forget all your sorrows, and a lot more can happen in that amount of time, so its still an endless nightmare
Honestly, I'm from Detroit, and cake is much better.
Ouuuuch 😂😂😂
+MoreThanARose i live just outside Detroit and honestly, aside from Downtown, its not that great of a city.....
+truemetal411 For real X,D
+MoreThanARose You guys are lame, a dessert that isnt even that good, over a whole damn city WITH Families. Everybody V.S Detroit how dissapointing. -_-
+Toussaint Muhammad i wouldnt press the button, im just saying Detroit really needs help.
$20 every time you inhale is an unfathomable amount of money, which you could use to hire exotic chefs to prepare the bucket of spiders to make a delicious treat, I've heard they can be amazing if cooked properly.
That is true you would be the richest man alive and you could get profecionals to make a chocolate speed cake but Detroit dies but whip cream spider cake is probably a delecacy in some country's and Detroit redwing a suck
+Mycaruba And nobody said how big the bucket has to be..could be a really tiny pucket, just as big as a pinky tip :3
or it could be a dump truck
or it could be a dump truck
what about getting a paper cut?
you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become become the villain.
that's the quote +Markiplier
+SpideyGaming616 How very Madoka
+SpideyGaming616 and die as as villain or live long enough to be a hero again - anonymous
+SpideyGaming616 that is a really interesting one
+SpideyGaming616 I rather die a hero, but only if people know what I have done and revere me as a hero for a long time. No point dying a hero when nobody knows about it.
What if you are on a roller-coaster! And the roller-coaster is about to crash! And the kidnapper gets you right before the roller-coaster crashes! So that is just basically the kidnapper saving your life!
Hyperspace Kidnapper sounds like a good comesy/drama.
The chances of that happening is the same as me getting straight A’s
I wouldnt say, "saving". It's more like "Under new management"
I DIED MARK, THANK YOU, I'M FROM DETROIT. YOU'D KILL ME OFF FOR CAKE!
+Lexie Luff well....it is cake we're talking about.
+Keech I could have just made him some cake and we would have all lived!
+Lexie Luff eh you guys can repopulate....
+plushtrap 626 "Everyone in Detroit would die"
Lexie Luff i know but there would still be poeple left so its not like we all die heh im being such a douche right now....
I could not imagine a better way to spend a Saturday than sitting in a folding lawn chair, a plate of cake on my lap, a cool breeze blowing in off of the water, the orange light of the sun coating everything in its warmth, the smell of the trees wafting through the air, the sound of the birds in the trees punctuated only by the echoing screams of the entire populace of Detroit.
*picks up Mjelnir*
*smashes button into oblivon*
Two years later Mark regrets killing all us fans in Detroit. And in the Your Welcome tour Mark must apologize to save himself from getting murdered by everyone in Detroit
Alanna Butters He told his 7:00 pm show in Detroit that he'd do it again 😂
Exactly, he said he didn't regret pressing it
Everyone is Detroit is already dead. :D
Also he hasn't played Detroit become human😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@adrianjem7188 I want to throw cake at him now. 😂😂😂😭
"You receive $500000 dollars every year for life but once a year at random you are kidnapped for a week."
Me: *presses button*
*_BOWSER WANTS TO KNOW YOUR LOCATION_*
Ha!
I would press the last button because if I have the perfect life I wouldn't feel the need to share it to feel happier because I would already be the happiest I could possibly be.
+Julliana Paulino Wow...............How selfish e_o
+TheGreatAsian00 I agree with TheGreatAsian. It's not selfish to press the button, but I wouldn't press it either.
+Toussaint Muhammad I don't see how that's selfish, thinking about it they actually have a good point.
+AngiolinaWA being lonely isnt the perfect life....
Push the button, make someone else's life better not just yours
You want pepole to die for a cake
I like it
*People
Team psycho.
*People*
I see this as an absolute win
congratulations your the first person to actually make me laugh in the comments
you have magic that you can do anything, realistic or not, but you can't use the Internet...
Um, hello, you can do anything ANYTHING, you could make something ten times better than the Internet
*HECK YEAH IMMA PRESS DAT BUTTON*
Jessiblob that's literally Harry Potter in a nut shell
Agree
also the fact it said Internet on Tv and i don't use TV i use a laptop
Destroy the internet and then create it again but with a different name LOOPHOLE
what if the of tv was a typo? what if they meant or?
How dare you blow up Detroit!
*meanwhile*
Me: *shoving my face with cake* THIS IS GOOD CAKE
Depends what kinda cake.
If it's fruit cake.
You're a bad person.
If it's anything else,
You're good to go farm.
Fam* even
One day I will English. Today is not that day.
+The Sarcasm Slay Queen Ye Ai Be Gewd Ad Inglish :D
jk I know english pretty well xD
+The Sarcasm Slay Queen i haz much gooderer ingleh ten u bruh
Let's See Just How Long A TH-cam Username Can Get, Shall We? ik i mite jst cri
Non-spiced, sugar free, raisin white cake?
gotta love that wild pink hair
:o
+Rosinante Corazon So true! The Return of the Floof
+Rosinante Corazon A new hair floofinator confirmed.
+Rosinante Corazon im trying so hard to focus on the video and not his floof
So true
Every disease at once? So you'll have for example narcolepsy and insomnia at the same time? Constipation and diarrhea? ... xD I wonder how that would work.
+Riomy13 Technically, most diseases would balance themselves. Other ones that don't have an opposite, like cancer, would stay the same. Around a quarter of diseases have an opposite disease. So about a quarter of diseases you won't suffer through.
It's shino from naruto worsts nightmare
made my day XD
hmm........me 2!
+Spiningrazor There are also certain diseases that will directly target and kill other ailments. I don't remember any example, but I've heard of it multiple times before
mark:"it's not like im hittler inside my brain"
***blows up detroit for cake***
219 million dollars a year to eat some spiders. It doesn't say you can't cook them in some way... I may do it if I can deep fry them.
I have a deathly fear if spiders of any kind. Just today there was a huge spider on me and I flipped out.
+Sam Mitch I'd grind mine up with meat and make hotdogs. It's not like they don't already have bugs in them anyway.
+TopazSpaz that's amazing idea actually! I would probably enjoy eating spider hot dogs! 😅
what if they were gummy spiders?
Me too
The one about demon powers...Inuyasha is that you?!
+ProfCaveman nope inuyasha doesn't die
+CrazeBoutMayday No my dear otaku... not even close...
***** Umm i did not speak to you but dont worry it happens to me a lot too.
Its the youtube reply system. Anyways i dont hate people who like anime i only hate the fanatics (otaku)
+CrazeBoutMayday I was leaning more towards Dean and Sam Winchester, but that's just me.
+Erin Campbell Same here. xD
There is a disease where you can't feel anything...
that mean......I CAN'T FEEL MY DICK ANYMORE NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
+Al Walid 10 year olds...*sigh*
+Al Walid I guess you think that's a joke...
Cuz my sister has something like that...
It's sad...
kid that was in my 8th grade class had that disease... he told me about it... I didn't believe him... so he stuck a fucking pen INTO his hand!!! LIKE NOTHING EVEN HAPPENED!!!! IT WAS JUST STICKING OUT OF HIS HAND!!! swear to god... shit was crazy
kid that was in my 8th grade class had that disease... he told me about it... I didn't believe him... so he stuck a fucking pen INTO his hand!!! LIKE NOTHING EVEN HAPPENED!!!! IT WAS JUST STICKING OUT OF HIS HAND!!! swear to god... shit was crazy
So with the Grudge one. It says she "can't leave" until after a decade has passed. Not that she actually will lol
At 8:44 its kinda like the book "The Giver" except you can die whenever you want. Sounds weird I know but you would have to read the book
OMFG I had to read that last year at school 'I am currently in 9th grade' and we even watched the movie- 1000/10 IGN
+Faith Smith If you think about it ending those problems doesnt even mean the people will be happy. Like in the Giver people could become like robots.
+FateStayN1ght true true
+Faith Smith I would have never thought of that... Very clever.
+Faith Smith that is soo true!!!!!!!!! if you think of how the Giver deals with it.
Funny thing about Detroit one is that the "People dying" is in the upside bubble, while "getting the cake" is the downside.
So true tho
THE CAKE IS A LIE!
Do not take this the wrong way but I hate the Lions and love cake
Probably cuz I'm the cake.
+Roxy Siebentod [7thDeath]
Yeah..... o-o
Totally....
*noms on last slice of cake* 0_,0 * Oh... *wipes mouth* 030;
i showed my dad the everyone in Detroit dies one. He was raised in Detroit. he said he would because he wanted cake.
Your dad is a national treasure XD
Your dad is a champ 😂😂
What if everything in Detroit just turn into cake the buildings would turn into cake people would turn into cake
All this talk of blowing up Detroit has left the brilliance of "Wor-land-o, Florida" massively underappreciated
Mark: i'd endure everyone's pain and grief by myself so they don't suffer
*Also Mark* : i'd destroy Detroit for cake
THANKZ MARK U KILLED EVERYBODY AT THE YOU'RE WELCOME TOUR!
but was the cake worth it?
x Wednesday x the cake was a lie
NUUUU
Obviously thats y it was called the "You're Welcome Tour" his way of sayin "no need to thank me for killing you all for subpar cake" lol course the cake mighta been a lie so detroit died for nuthin lol
40 hours a week of minimum wage would be more than I am living on now. I would press it.
+Hannah Overton Me too! Also, a lot of states are raising the min wage by 2016 so you'd be making more later on. And, who knows, maybe it'll actually reach $15 some day which would be sweet.
+mimsydreams But the raising of minimum wage would also cause inflation, making it considerably less sweet.
mysteriousRunt
Inflation happens anyway. I'm paying almost double for a loaf of bread than I did a few years ago.
+mimsydreams there is $15 dollars an hours but its called a raise
+mimsydreams actually prices would go up because more money would be needed to pay workers. so it pretty much evens out. better to look for an above minimum wage job.
6:48 how would you LiIiVeE
Everyone in Detroit dies
But
Memes will be created in the process
*joyfully shoots the button to show how much I want to press it *
slams button fast af
*PRESSES BUTTON FEROCIOUSLY*
this is pure *genius*
Press
you find 3$ everyday BUT you fall asleep for 2 seconds at random
Will you press the button?
I'm just closing my eyes for 2 seconds, whats the problem?
SillyGirlCrystal when you sleep you're unconscious, so you could be doing something dangerous and you fall asleep and... ...not good.
I never do anything interesting or dangerous and 2 seconds isn't very long so I'm good 👍
everyone think about driving
Kaylie Smith I don't have my drivers licence but I wouldn't cause you could be in a very dangerous senario and just fell asleep
It never said the spiders couldn't be candy spiders.
plus u could cook them
+Simon Petrikov Spiders =/= *Spider shaped* candy. So no.
+Simon Petrikov I hear spiders taste like lobster if done right
+Simon Petrikov I would do it
And cover them in chocolate
10:08 You can see the realisation and instant regret in his eyes.
What?
for the kidnapping one I just imagine it going like this.
*wakes up and sighs* hi dave.
Hey .... how are you?
As good as a kidnapped rich person can be.
I don't know why the kidnapper is named dave
I'd be willing to die if Mark got cake
I hope it was good cake
D
You die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain
The last one is a paradox because if you didn’t have anyone to share the life with then it wouldn’t be perfect
"I always wanted to go to Disney W-Land" ~Markiplier 2015
+SomeKidWhoGames I apparently live in Wuhrlando now
I'm animating that quote
+Nate Animations link please!!
THE CAKE IS A LIE...
🍰😈
+FandomLand thank you
+FandomLand I CAN'T BREATHE!!
Then lies are delicious
+Aidan Pitts Then deliciousness is cake and its a paradox!
FLOOF THE HAIR
FOR POWER!!!
For POWER
Mark fluffled the hair and now has INFANITE POWER
6:24 Mums with naughty kids who wreak havoc in public 😂😂😂
How did 36% of people say that they would rather have the internet and TV than the power to do literally anything (other than have internet and TV)? I just find that ridiculous.
+Michael the Magician make a better version of the internet and rename it something else. You need to get porn somehow without getting crabs and herpes lol.
Alexandrius Comnenus
make someone appear in your bed that will do.. stuff...
humans have an independent mind and depending I could get one that is a cock-blocking feminist, a disease carrying person, or a hot girl of my dreams.
I am just saying I want a brain in my woman, but the possibility of feminism is way too high lol.
True. The power to make YOURself into something worth to be posted into youtube for example is certainly more worth than watching the youtube itself.
+Michael the Magician I could use my magic to make something like internet and TV but even better!!!
PUNCH THE LIKE BUTTON IN THE FEICE? S-S-S-SAMURAI SLICE IT? >:D
+markiplierSINGSb.a.d.l.y. Or you can slap the -like- button
blow up the like button with a nuke. that'll like it :D
+MarkipIier seems legit
...... or twerk it. xD
+MarkipIier fac off
Markiplier: I’m not a masochist!
Also Mark at 8:23:
Mark is all over the place today,
and it's hilarious.
+MarkipIier helloooo
+MarkipIier are you just desperate for attention
you are not the real markiplier and who i know that is if i go to your
channel you have 0 subscribers and no videos
+MarkipIier mark I watch you sleep :()
+autumn christie yeah he does maybe it was a glitch on your phone or laptop
ITS A BOT FFS
Someone has to make an animation on this asap!!!
+THE_JEDI_GUY agreed xd
yeyeyeyeyeyeyey
+THE_JEDI_GUY I will try my best. :P
🤔
+Nariter THANK YOU YESSS
Immortality is a very f*cked up thing. If you lived forever, unable to die, you would see/do everything. Over time, your feelings would dull down and you would be nothing more than a husk of your former self. Pretty depressing how I said that [if poorly worded], but it is the harsh reality of such circumstances.
I would like to be an Armored Core pilot... even if I have to remain wired into the systems JUST to survive.
UNIT9OMEGA Tru. You would also have to see all of your friends and family die when you live forever.
UNIT9OMEGA lol for no reason
UNIT9OMEGA I would like to be immortal to murder and getting hit by cars, etc. but when i hit the age of no mobility, i can die of old age
So in other words you'd like to be immortal to anything caused/inflicted by a fellow human. And I assume you also want to be immune to illnesses/diseases?
UNIT9OMEGA Yes, But natural Cardiac Arrest (old age) is fine.
For the last one: as a big boi introvert. This is an ABSOLUTLE win for me. Thank you for your time
"I always wanted to go on a vacation to Disney wo-land! It's in... Wo-lando Florida"
Add that to the list of puns I wish I had come up with 😂
Better be chocolate cake...
Chocolate Ice Cream Cake!
Zeta Uphill fuck yeah
The cake is a lie.
The Media Raptor soooo... no ice creamn cake? D,;
i sed that to
7:38 Seems like Mark doesn't mind being kidnapped. Who's with me?
+TheDogmatic Marksman XD
+TheDogmatic Marksman give him 500000$ first XD
+TheDogmatic Marksman it's only for a week anyway, they would have to let you go after the week is done
+TheDogmatic Marksman Who doesn't like going to Wolandoflorida?
lol
I like how he decided he would be willing to endure eternal suffering for the betterment of mankind but would also be willing to genocide Detroit for a slice of cake
I have lived in Detroit and LA. Whenever I tell someone from each area that I have lived in the opposite area they always react like I lived in a 3rd world country.
+AnimatedASMR Yeah, I get that. I go to school in Flint and whenever I tell people that they look so concerned for me lol
+Osprey Emblem same... from Flint. same reaction...
I'm not from America but you hear things about Detroit
Is it a bad place or what?
I imagine it's like most cities and areas as in it has good and bad places?
+AnimatedASMR HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE??
+Caolan McNeill yeah, it's got good and bad places, it's just got a high crime rate. there are plenty of perfectly nice people and safe businesses and neighborhoods, but with any bigger city there's gonna be some crime.
Welp, Mark just killed me.
Sorry for your... Loss? How's the afterlife? Lotta fluffy clouds?
Mark just killed my family .-.
+Gina Murasso Lmao... afterlife for regular humans doesn't exist.
+ShukuenShinobi Mark killed me too its ok
All My family lives in Detroit and most in NC and Georgia.-. Mostly 76% of my family is dead and 24% living
7:38 I have a solution to this problem:
According to my calculations, the average person will make - at minimum - $6,307,200 a year, solely off of inhaling.
With that much money, you could pay a team of scientists and food experts to modify the spiders so that they are delicious.
If for whatever reason you don't want to do that, you could easily grind up the spiders into powder, and then pour them into a smoothie. *mic drop*
+Adam Whysong Did you take into account inflation?
or. just spice and cook them. who said they couldn't be delicious?
I don't think that matters. Even if it did, it still doesn't matter, because it isn't very expensive to go with the second option.
Bananas mask everything.
You sir are wrong take 17.5 the average amount of breaths per minute of a twelve year old and multiply by 60 then 24 then 365 then see what you get.
Wait it's different for everyone.
+Jack Worman
For Markiplier's perception of barfing it you would need to count inflation
BUTT if you are just given the money then no need to worry about inflation.
+Adam Whysong
At 8:15 "I'm not going to finish that sentence."
8:22 I'd hit that button so many times. I don't mind bearing the pain and suffering of others. As long as I see them smile I'll live on.
gay
+Matthew Olson You sir deserve a cookie
+Matthew Olson me too. I guess were the personality fit for the hero of a tv show or some thing like that :3
fuck that, life is too short for that shit xD humanity is a tiny flash in the history of the universe, i'm not going to suffer for ever to make it a prettier flash
that's amazing bro XD
Mark. If I was your kidnapper... I would do it just to play some games with you! You could even leave early, if you wanted to.
+Austin Ramey (ShadowTamer5000) I WOULD NOT DO BAD STUFF TO YOU MARK! IT WOULD BE HAPPY FUNTIMES AT MY HOUSE!
Mark, I would pee on you for the entire week. Seems fair I think. :)
Animayir One RapidNameChange O.o Th-That doesn't sound pleasant... DON'T WORRY, MARK!!! I WILL GATHER A GROUP TO RESCUE YOU FROM THE BAD MEN AND WOMEN!!!
+Austin Ramey (ShadowTamer5000)
I mean, let's not be hasty here. We don't know what Mark is into ;) XD
+RapidNameChange Its fair
"You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." - Harvey Dent
"You would be a being with Demonic Powers fighting for good and protecting people"
That's Basically what Dante and Bayonetta are!!
And Doomguy.
But you become more demonic the more you fight, i see it like Devilman
A life you can't share with anyone isn't perfect.
True
very tru
Kekistani Refugee hhhvvfvvgbghhhhnhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Amen
Kekistani Refugee, i like your profile pic. Pepe the frog. Nice.
I watched this while holding my pet lizard and every time I laughed she got really startled. A+.
Cool
OMG same XDDD
OMG you actually did that
+Asriel Dreemur lololllolllllollllolololololololol
MUNCHIEMONSTERGaming yeah except everytime I laughed she crawled up my arm oh.... and shes been dead for 2 weeks ;-;
It didn't have to be a bucket of live spiders, they could be roasted and dipped in chocolate, and you'd have unlimited money to boot! Awesome!
It also doesn't say what kind of spiders you have to eat! There's probably some kind of spider out there that tastes okay when it's cooked...
Eating spiders is considered a delicacy in some countries, I'm not sure which though.
Nevertheless getting through a whole bucket would be kind of rough... But worth it!
poffpoff1 china I think
True I would be down with with that
plus, if you get sick from the spiders, you would have enough money to pay for your surgery!
Mark: Decides to end all the world’s problems and suffer all them for the rest of time
Also Mark: Decides to blow up Detroit for a cake
4:56 Ummm... excuse me my crush is Dean Winchester. So bye bye grudge.
SAME THO
🔯🔯🔯🔯🔯
MINE IS TYLER JOSEPH, JOSHUA DUN, THE WINCHESTERS AND MIKE FROM STRANGER THINGS
polishgirl2003aj |-/
THE WINCHESTERS ARE MY CRUSHES.
If I really had a perfect life, but no one to share it with, that is not a perfect life. I know I would get depressed with myself, despite being successful, but I would become suicidal from the loneliness that I have to endure day after day. Wouldn't all of you?
+S „Music4Ever“ Manly
That's exactly what I thought!
How can a life, all alone, be perfect?
It can't, right?
i'd press it and be just fine
Ah, but everyone has a different opinion on how their "perfect" would be. A true perfect like would be similar to an animal, no real control over your mind. it would be horrible, but you wouldn't know better.
+S “Music4Ever” Manly +Bobby Bobbston omg i was like that as well
+S “Music4Ever” Manly But if it's a perfect life, you wouldn't be upset over this.
"suffer all of the world's problems alone" soooo... The Giver??
I don't remember the Giver suffering from anything. I think he was more a way to see the outside world. been years since I read the book so I might be wrong
Benjamin DarkRune He was constantly haunted by the memories of all the terrible things in the past. Like war, torture, betrayal. All the negative and terrible things that plagued the world in the past was his to experience over and over again.
thank u sir
Benjamin DarkRune Anytime, I love that novel.
its_cj 2003 YES
0:00 INTRODUCING PARROTPLIER!!!!!!