FULL UPDATE: I (43M) need to send a letter of thanks to Dyson. I discovered my wife (49) of 17 years, 18 month affair when I updated our fan filter on the app it uses. UPDATE 1: 8:32 UPDATE 2: 12:31 CONCLUSION: 38:09
I wish you the best my friend try begging one more update I want to hear that she's not doing good and you don't great and you happy and she's yours and the dog house
There was a CEO who would fire employees who were cheating on spouses with each other. He saw it as removing toxic elements. When asked why such a policy, he said: " If your own spouse can't trust you, why should I ? " Mic drop.
Joyce Meyers, a preacher, did this. She'd tell her staff when employed that that's one of their moral contracts outside work that affected employment with her (no crazy stuff). One day one of her employees killed off his family cuz he'd cheated and his wife wanted divorce and he knew he'd get fired. The sad thing was it was blamed on her "moral code* but the guy wasn't blamed but excused as stuck between a rock and a hard place.
tell the wife is fine but i am getting forever pissed about people becoming so vindictive they are destroying lives how the fuck does an affair something that happens that has nothing to do with work cost someone their job their livelihood? that shit needs to end i dont give a fuck if you cheat if you are racist as long as it does not stop you from doing what you were hired to do it should have 0 bearing.
It's sad that cheaters do not think of repercussions and consequences of their choices and actions when they first plan to deceive. Then the cheating becomes commonplace and therefore almost normal. What irony that wifey would believe that her boy friend's wife should be kept in the dark! Really ironic when wifey learns her married boyfriend cheated on his wife and his secret mistress, the wife in this story! It's best not to make poor choices and travel down dangerous roads! Right on, that the OP overall stayed focused, did the right thing (overall), stayed true to himself and created a new path for himself. He needs someone with shared values, loyal and honest forever!
@@hardwirecars well, cheating shows a whole lot about someone’s character. All the things that follow your decision to cheat are your own fault. When you work for any business or whatever it may be, you are representing them outside of work whether you like it or not.
During my divorce I had a similar relationship with a woman at work whose marriage had also recently failed. It last a couple of months, it ended organically, but it was good and healthy for both of us.
In all honesty I thought the coworker’s behavior was pretty gross. Just imagine a reverse scenario where a man approaches his female coworker after she’d taken an abrupt leave of absence from work for what eventually becomes known around the office as her husband’s infidelity. She’s been so hurt and traumatized that she’s started therapy & is actively taking steps to leave the state because of it. Said guy approaches and says “hey I know what your going through & that sucks, but I’ve always thought you were hot & would love to take that box for a spin before you go, what do ya say?” Fucking disgusting.
@@keyminor6886 I don't see how that would be disgusting. In your scenario she could just say no and they both move on. Or she could say yes, have some fun now that she's "free" and move on after that. Some people, so yes also women, are all for a bit of fun to get their mind off of things after a break-up. Especially when it's with a good looking person.
@@keyminor6886 I get where your coming from especially because in the reverse scenario it would come off as predatory because it’s a man but I think that’s sexist. He’s not a boy in his teenage years being emotionally manipulated into doing something he would regret. He’s a grown man in his 40s choosing to have mutually consenting sex 🤷🏿♀️. Same is true if you reverse genders. Their both established professionals who are well into maturity and know how to say “No.”
He was only an ATM for her and her daughters. She used him for the financial security and I am sure this was not her only affair, it was only the one he caught her in.
I agree... this is so sad, why would anyone do this? He seems normal, with a good job and a good personality and takes care of himself AND took care of her daughters... what else do you need? I don't even understand those types of woman as a woman myself.
@@ALJ9000 actually That's exactly how it works lol as an abuse victim I used to be borderline psychotic until I got therapy and had to rethink my life and future actions now I'm in a slightly better place and I'll keep trying the cheater needs it too frr
All that "It wasn't supposed to go this far" means is that the OP was never supposed to find out. Read her responses carefully, and they only show that she's really only sorry she got caught.
A 32 year old woman with a man too young to be reasonably be mistaken as the father of her children, but with a promising career path, was probably hard to overlook. I imagine that there was a power dynamic he hasn't mentioned, or maybe hadn't realized in their dating years, that lead to their marriage before he was really ready.
It’s always one side of the story right. Maybe the woman was too attractive and young for him and he knew it. He still went ahead with it because that’s what he was attracted to like she was attracted to his wealth and security.Just presenting all possible facts.
@@xhen12 yeah it could be that OP is a single 14 year old in Calcutta with one eye and a peg leg writing this as a story for his creative writing class and also he has a pet mongoose. Just presenting all the possible facts.
@Maggie Kinsella 15K a month is outrageous. What's so stupid about it is that it's common knowledge the way 'free' (unearned) money is well known to ruin lives. (example: the average lottery winner 5 years later [specifically in the $100k to 1M range]). There's just something destructive about being given amounts of money far higher than you had ever developed the skills and discipline to manage. ...but unlike lottery winnings, this occurs at a person's lowest and most vulnerable and unstable point. Your state needs a more thoughtful system than simply GIVE LOTS OF MONEY TO EX, in my humble opinion. ...maybe cover the major bills, etc. for a period of time.... Forget the cash transfers though....
Cheating isn't just one choice; it's numerous choices. She could have stopped any time before physically cheating but she continued to choose him over OP. OP is better off without her.
@@Carzone2021 consumerism... I tell you people view people as a product now more than an actual beings. With the internet, you have the world to have sex with. It makes people believe that there always better elsewhere! No one wants to works at the hurdle of a relationship now.
@@Carzone2021 I picked my first wife even though she was heavier than I thought I liked.She lost the weight and got alot of attention.I was a semester from graduation quit school and lived in a small pickup sending money home driving omaha to Ft.Worth and back many weekends for one night at home.Wasnt my kid, it should be jail time for it.She immediately took him out of school at 7.No one would help.Finally I call the truant officer at his old school who arrested her.Breast feeding him at 6 yrs old and now I had no parental rights because DNA test said I was not the father.The first Christmas was hard to take seeing parents shopping with their kids.People change and then rape you financially and emotionally as if you're suddenly an enemy.Very hard to have a relationship with a woman who did nothing but suffers from my bad past.I really can't let someone close anymore
@@allanbrogdon5317 hey brother I do understand coz something like that happened to me long back with someone..guess its happening to large % of guys coz girls treat themselves as commodities n choose one who can afford them best often with or without love whereas guys don't care for their hard earned money n like to spend on loved ones without much complaining. Guys should know that girls love money more than men n get easily bored with men but not with money, so never give ur heart to girls save it for parents, kids, dogs n ur hobbies, as these won't hurt so much afterwards
I truly believe adultury can be classified as emotional and mental abuse that can lead to depression, PTSD, and in some cases suicide. It really takes a truly messed up and frankly evil type of person to do that to someone like that and have no remorse and get a thrill off of doing it.
Yes I married my high school sweetie I loved her and her much cuter friend I turned away because she was 15.Later my "wife" who was soooo sweet told me my son wasn't my biological child.It was a horrible day, July 14th 1994.Paternity fraud should be jail time.Now they force the man to keep paying for the donor's child.I will never totally trust another human.I almost stayed because I loved her but knew what would happen.I treated him as my own and he has her mental health problems too being an adult I am happy with my 15 year old chihuahua and would live in my car before abandoning him .He is like a child to me and it will suck if he dies before me but I used to have six and made it through them going.
I just realized what she was doing when she told her AP all of Op's short comings...... She degraded him and insulted him to this man, hoping this man would also talk shit, allowing her to feel a little less guilt and maybe even a little excused to do the shit she did!!
It's kind of like a dumbed down version of mob mentality, because having someone else agree with you on a decision you're not 100% sure on makes you feel better about that decision, and even makes you feel justified in said decision, just like how cheering something with a mob makes you feel more powerful, and makes you feel like you have justification for whatever it is you're chanting.
I don't get it. I don't even talk about any of my EX boyfriends in terms of their secrets or insecurities, because those things are private and they trusted me with their secrets, and even if I'm no longer with someone I'm not going to betray their trust. Why the hell would someone do that about their current partner?? You said to remove guilt, but you'd think she'd feel even more guilty for that...
@@_lil_lil You know how some people get off by bringing others down? Even if it's just 2 girls/guys chatting, if one is insecure they seem to want to talk crap about someone else.....boost their egos, however wrong it is, people seek acceptance or attention in any form! You seem to have a good heat though, keep it that way!!!
Yeah, I was listening to everything and thinking the same thing. I thought that he was going to snap and do something that might hurt her, or that she'd try to hurt him while he was sleeping. He's a big guy and if he pushed her too hard when she tried to hug him, then he could've really hurt her. She was scared and at rock bottom, and a person is capable of doing things that they'd never normally do when they're in a state of mind like that. Plus they were both drinking, and introducing alcohol to strong emotions is never a good idea. I'm just glad that nothing bad happened there. It was such a volatile situation, and they would've been better off apart, with one staying at a hotel. Good thing this story had a "happy ending".
@@teramedia7333 exactly. My first reaction to her making food for him was don't eat it. Then again, the mind can be tricky. He might have not cared if the food was poisoned at that point.
@@teramedia7333 poison him? Seriously though? She was trying to win him back, she's not a good person but i never got psychotic murder vibes from her. She definitely doesn't deserve any form of forgiveness but to peg her as a psychotic murderer is absolutely ludicrous. In fact I'd argue that there was a MUCH higher possibility that his anger and rage might have caused him to act out of character and do something he would later regret. Killing him while she's attempting to reconcile with him is not even close 🤣
@@teramedia7333 I was thinking this too. I once heard of a story where a wife slowly poisoned her husband until he died to collect life insurance. She did this twice and had a third victim before she got caught The husband had a friend over and he was making some food for the friend with the mayo. She became strangely possessive of the mayo, insisting the friend not eat it, and he found out her evil plans after that.
Dyson sphere of unhappiness, worlds of unhappiness. Sadly it's an offside tile, not useful unless we get wwiii and tidal tsunamis . Still waiting for the inevitable miniture ice age when the next hurricane pushes the atmo enough to make another polar vortex.
Damm, this post could be called "The Journey of a Betrayed Man". I was surprised by the older step-daughter's reason for why she had issues with OP in the last update. I'm glad he wasn't dumb enough to take his wife back and things worked out for him.
I imagine the older step daughter may have brought up the OP's past to her mom to try to make her feel better. Then realized through that conversation that the OP wasn't the guy she thought he was, and it was someone else who did the deeds that gave her the chip on her shoulder this whole time.
poor guy sounded unhinged at the beginning. It was a good idea not to go confrontational that sounded great in someone's head but in execution a lot of things can go wrong. Well, he still feels off throughout the story. Hope he gets help.
@@Digger-Nick wait explain please because im starting to get interested in my neighbor she is a gamer girl but has 4 kids (aka everything i ever wanted no issue with kids just scared of them not sure how to be a dad in this new age aka they get out of line ima bust there ass)
@@hardwirecars Why would you invest your time and money into someone who already has 4 kids?? How old is this person?? You will always come second and never will control anything. Start your own family, don't take care of someone else's. Someone like that isn't worth your time.
Yeah it's strange like the whole of you isn't on the same page with accepting that the thing that just happened have happened, the only other moment you can compare it to but it's not really the same is when your younger and a friend dies it can take weeks to 100% accept that the person isn't coming back the person is not going to come through that door anymore never ever, in a relation is in some ways different because your head har painted a future with a lot of plans that intimate includes her and suddenly in a blink your on an autopilot and can't see the map and you lost control and orientation like youre ship has wrecked and the Waves washed you up on an empty island and you have no clue where you are or how you going to get back but you feel you have the streength to survive on this Island so it is from day to day plans from now on, and your usual everyday life is gone and is nowhere to be seen, so you wonder what matters now.?
Only way for the state to break into the piggy bank, as well as promote behaviors that destroy the family. Property that a lifetime of labor aquired is the prize. We are being harvested by the same players, or families that control information, education, industry, and governments. All these institutions in harmony incrementally destroying rhe culture from whom they benefited. Thru chaos comes order and humanity suffers while the few enjoy absolute power. This is what they are born to do. It is their job! Believe it.
When a person is burned alive, they only are in pain until their nerves are too burned to feel, but until then, that pain is excruetiating. That, i feel, is exactly what happened to OP- immolation of his emotions.
It is similar to an overload of the system. It takes time to reset. He usually felt it after there was an outpouring of energy and or emotion. I see it as a circuit breaker being tripped due to overload and you are running on backup battery.
@@HelenWA - not really. Forever ago, I had an older "happily" married co-worker grab me in the break room and give me the most passionate, energetic kiss I had in years. She apologized, saying her husband left and she was mess, having a rough time and I was the "attractive guy in the right place at the wrong time". No harm, no foul. Matter fact, dude got clean n sober and they stayed together and I'm glad for them. Nobody's perfect. Everybody is entitled to at least one mistake.
I know how bad it feels. I caught my husband of 13 years in an affair for about a year or more. Pretty much destroyed my life. But I'd rather be dead than with him. It destroyed my life but I'd rather loose everything than live with a cheat. Good luck. Sounds like your doing well though.
Wasted over 12 years myself.. I had made the fortunate mistake of filling a flimsy milk jug with coolant which was kept in the trunk of her car for months. One afternoon, she came home from the grocery store, I grabbed some bags out of the trunk and noticed the jug had tipped over and was leaking. As I went to pull the carpet out after removing the jug she stopped me for no reason. As she walked into the house I turned around and pulled out the carpet. Stuffed next to the spare tire was a "go bag" full of all the dirty evidence. I can never put into words how I felt in that moment or when I confronted her about an hour later... (she laughed in my face). I lost 23 pounds in 30 days and finally understand how people get to the point of domestic murder and suicide. Two small kids in the crossfire as well.. she is completely shameless.
My ex was so heartless and was cheating.On my wedding night I slept alone.I called her about her sneaking out to see the ex who was in town.I was having a major panic attack and trying to not cry at work with hundreds of people there.She was cold and couldn't believe I was upset.Like I was actually cheating!Her phone rang and she said it's him gotta go.I stuck it out for years and thought it wouldn't bother me.A friend came over and realized I hadn't eaten for 4 days and not much to drink.People didn't understand why I stayed so long.You really can't pick who you love and my picker is broken
His therapist told him he isn't codependent. That's a very important quality to have. Allowing oneself to really be angry and take agency in bad situations is a healthy thing. So many people are taught to just forgive and move on, because it's easier than teaching a kid how to really work thru being wronged. This guy has healthy self regard.
@@tuopsy no you can't, grooming literally means long term manipulative endeavors, specifically premeditated to facilitate the coercion of sex from a CHILD
Point to be taken *no compromising on career *never marry a cheater *have a self-respect till death *never compromising on wrong doings without proper punishment. Wise men learns others mistake.
@Redheaded Conservative no if not married but the partner dies you have nothing. Had a few tragic stories about it. Be wise about marrying though. Poor guy he really took it hard... I feel for him.
@@georgeblair3894 that is unfair so many single women do have tragic stories to no fault of their own. It really not a matter of children or not. I have so many friends who chose a violent husband. They seperated seeing this. Unfortunately, they had a child or more before leaving. Still hoping they get a chance at happiness even if they have offspring(s).
@@mst-pierrem5729 So she married the bad boy, gave her best years to him, and I'm supposed to rescue her from her bad decisions? No thanks. My wallet-my choice.
When I busted my ex along the same lines, she said a lot of the same things...Why I told AP's wife, what if her mom found out, what if her work found out...Nothing to do with how I felt discovering a year long affair, a hidden phone and a bank account I didn't know about...She has since been remarried and divorced in the span of 3 years. Selfish people should stay single...
I loved the way he’s able to express himself, he sounds like a emotional available man, I would kill to have a man like this. I’ve never cheated in all my relationships but always got cheated on, it devastating. Now single for several years no kids a nurse and 41, just me and my cat
I had a situation that may have been worse than this guy's, at least in some ways. My ex cheated on me from the very beginning. If I had run into to you a couple of years ago, we maybe could have connected. You were always cheated on? Me too... but enough years of reflection have taught me that I simply attract users... A wise friend told me that I could either suffer the pain of betrayal, or of loneliness. I chose the loneliness, because at least it is my choice. Cats are social, always have two, so they keep each other company. Take care of you.
@@shanidar god bless you, have you notice the women that don’t cheat, cook, clean the house , career driven get the lousy men, but the women that do the opposite get the good men, it’s so backwards, and I agree I have much more peace celibate, not dating , just focus on me, I have so much more peace, I rather be alone than deal with this bs with men
@@keepitrealfolks6737 I'm going to be honest, the fact that you are here pointing out that the "good girls get lousy men" and that you 41 with you and your cat makes it sound like you haven't gotten over this. and not to sound like a dick but the whole good women get lousy men piece comes across as very "nice guy"
This story reminds me of a saying I recently heard. Demons run when good men go to war. Those who use violence as a last resort, use it as a last resort. When they reach that point, their goals become, "reduce the target to a point where they would not even think to ever do such a thing again." I'm glad your doing better man.
I'm glad he stood up for himself and it's nice to see a cheated on spouse do so, but the abusive sex is genuinely disturbing. That recording could get him in legal trouble later. A good lawyer could twist it that she was coerced via threats.
yeah. i liked everything about this story besides the sex and her still sleeping with him. also, even if he was doing abusive sex, the wife apparently likes BDSM so it kinda seems like he’s rewarding her behavior.
Idk. When me and my wife separated we ducked like rabbits even though I thought we were done. It's a different feeling that I cannot explain. We got back together but it had nothing to do with "those sessions". There was also no affairs to my knowledge. It was the fact I thought she didn't love me anymore and wasnt affectionate and talk with her about it for months before with no change in her behavior. I don't mean only physical(sex) affection, but she kinda checked out of the marriage mentality and physically so after talking numerous times I assumed she just didn't want to be "the bad guy" by filing for divorce.
She's a documented liar and deceiver whose word is no good. Plus, he should be able to very easily claim mental defect or temporary insanity....it is a usable defense in more than just homicide cases. Demand a jury hear his case and you only need one former betrayed spouse in the jury pool to clear him, I would think. If she were to make a stink about that, then any defense counsel worth their salt would then open the files and allow the ugly content of the copied texts to be read in full light of day as evidence of his state of mind
I forgave and took her back. My situation was similar. I learned early on at least one of our children isn't mine, possibly the other as well. I should have ended the relationship!
3 ปีที่แล้ว
Looking for a 3rd? Dude get the DNA for all kids and get std tested. And make smooth plans to get out. Unless you into that messy lifestyle. Remember you are planting the seeds fir your kids to have no pride and accept be cheated on.
You still can. Shock can cause us to make decisions we otherwise wouldn't have. Deciding to forgive her is in that bracket, except you weren't truly able to forgive her or you wouldn't regret not finishing it then. Are you ever again going to be able to trust her the same? There's your answer.
The thing that bothers me is had she been with anyone knew right before he got tested some things don't show up for months, so he really needs to get retested after a decent period of time
Oh. My. G-d. This was so intense. I hope and pray one day he is truly happy again. Two quotes come to mind: Oscar Wilde said living well is the best revenge. And who knows who said, when he said she got a job a week later, well, the Devil looks after his own.
Well...seems like as soon as cheating b is almost out of the picture,things r beginning to get better for op,he's already having some fun,the step daughter apologised,....overall ,guess he'll be much better now....all's well that ends well.
"It feels so cold, it burns." Brought me to tears. I was listening to this all at work so I had to keep my emotions inside. I finished listening when I got home and just broke down. It's been 3 months since I found out something similar. The pain just feels so intense.
When you fall from the ladder called life, take a step back, look at the mistake you made climbing that ladder, and go again, and further than you have before. Life is an endless ladder, but you only truly conquer it when you learn to fall down and learn from it. Life will be better for you at some point, that I know...so be strong and do what is right for you. Cause you should be your first priority. ;)
This kind of stories makes me afraid to get into any relationships and take the plunge of marrying someone. I have had 4 failed relationships till now and even though not because of cheating on my part or any of my partners (not that I know off) , I always feel like it always might have been because I was the one who always compromised and every time I may have been used like a doormat. I don’t want to be in any relationships therefore and not get married.
I'm failing to understand the nature of romantic relationships in the first place. I desire them myself but when I look at it critically, the whole concept just doesn't make any damn sense to me. It just seems completely nonsensical.
I listen to all of these, but this one really got to me. This man is great at explaining his pain and dare I say I felt it. I really hope hes no longer angry, and can understand that his life was hardly a waste. Hes accomplished more than most and has a second chance to rediscover himself and maybe have some fun that he didnt know was possible.
I can’t even finish this. I’m just disgusted with your wife. Being in love is one of the best feelings a man can ever experience, especially when you trust your wife 1000% like you did. Loving blindly brings with it rewards you can never fathom. I for the life of me cannot figure why one would blow 17 years of ups and down, good times, bad times, birthdays, holiday, taking care of each other when they’re sick, confiding in one another, etc. I have never once looked through my significant others phone, texts, emails etc. and like you I too do not use social media, at all. This story makes me feel I’m being Neieve ( excuse my spelling ) I wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavors. My only advice would be to not start dating again until you can enter a relationship without bringing the baggage your x-wife left you with. You deserve to trust again and your partner deserves to be trusted.
Man, this is brutal. I can feel his pain going through his soul and the disappointment. It's a blow to his ego that will leave him questioning his self-worth. Just brutal.
I tried playing the good, ‘sane’ guy once with my ex of ten years. Next time, I’m packing my stuff and disappearing. No drama, no dragging crap out. No fake apologies or awkwardness. My stuff goes in a box and I leave without a word. Would have saved myself a world of pain.
Having been cheated on, I can say that taking action and not even considering any reconciliation helped me heal faster. You will feel sadness and distrust for a long time. But even if you want the person back sometimes, cutting them out of your life will help you get back to who you really are. After a year (at 20). I started dating and had an amazing gf. Guess who suddenly showed up? If you go back it will tell that person you have zero self respect. The best thing you can do after having been cheated on is take time off from relationships, surround yourself with family and friends. Wait until you start feeling like yourself to date again.
I’ve seen so many stories like this, and this is something I’m genuinely afraid of. So many stories of small things that people have caught, if he hadn’t seen the Snapchat he never would have known. I know a lot of relationships end happily, but there are a lot that don’t and I’m afraid of that
The more sexual partners a person has is directly related to how likely they are to cheat because people who live the hook up culture aren't used to practicing self control. Look for women who don't sleep around or have hobbies that involve being around people who sleep around like going to bars and clubs.
My wife of 15 yrs finally told me my 6 yr. Old son was not my biological child.New guy was 30 never been with a woman.I felt sorry for him I knew what he was in for .
"You're a grown man, you made the decision." Bullshit. Anyone with a healthy relationship makes compromises with the other parties' interests in mind. The co-ownership of the decision makes his statement completely accurate.
This hit too close to home. I was crying listening to this. Being cheated on and finding all of the texts of them talking about you. It's painful. It's been years but this reminded me of the pain. Having the love of your life one day and being so numb and incapable of love the next because you feel like that person threw away your heart and now have none.
"Would you consider yourself damaged goods now?" "Absolutely." It's something about being a man where you have to apply the rules you place outward, inward. It's a painful thing once you have to do it.
Omg Im Not living trough this and hope to God I never will, but Hell this actually made me sick like really sick actually physically sick to my stomach My heart goes to Op and all the 3rd person involved in this god awful mistake... Just Damn no words
OP would have been better to wait until the divorce papers were ready, have her served, not be there when she got back, send the PDF to everyone, and block her/change his number, and only meet at their lawyer's office. Allt he did was put himself through months of begging, pleading, stories, sex manipulation, drama, plus open himself to risks of abuse charges, etc. He didn't get anything from it. She didn't tell him anything he didn't know, no closure, etc. and every bit he had to do despite her -- why tell APs wife? Seriously?
Your right ,you lost Hemingway. To give great thought on the story line and then tell readers about BDSM with little insight on stbxw , leaves most of us confused.
Oh man, this one hit hard. Not the cheating part per see what was of course horrible, but that she took his secrets, deepest emotions, and insecurities and made fun of them with the guy she cheated on. That is absolutely unforgivable. Nothing can excuse that, nothing. Such abhorrent behavior. And then saying "It was a mistake", wow. That has to be one of the evilest 'normal' people I have ever heard of.
I know, I am like you want to go to woke city where they are a miniature California? Eastern Washington maybe, but you probably won't make as much. The prices are much lower though.
This story is really sad and incredible. I've listened to it before but never knew the last part. I'm glad that he got the possibility of 2 jobs where one he could travel. I'm also happy that his oldest daughter was able to talk to him and apologize for treating him the way she did. Her parents both cheated and she was awful of thinking that he was the guy whom his mom cheated with. I'm also glad that one of his coworkers wanted to feel what he was like in bed and I guess she saw him as a friend with benefits. I'm glad his life will become better for him and hopefully he'll settle the divorce amicably.
I feel so sorry for this guy. And he is right, any relationships he gets into in the future will be negatively affected by his ex’s cheating. Cuz there will always be that nagging worry in the back of his mind of “is this person cheating too?”
This really hit hard and was so good. I went through something like this. I’m sorry for your pain and experience in this. This brought back a flood of m emotions and memories for me. Thank you for sharing this. Life does get better, it just takes time.
You're impressed by a man who sexually abused his wife, and went out of his way to ruin her life in an act of cowardly revenge. That's awesome. Really great. I feel sorry for the woman who marries you; god help her.
The fact that he basically ruined his own opportunity just to be with her when he was younger and betrayed his own policy about marriage and children FOR HER makes this 100x worse. There’s barely anyone who would do so much for a person, and yet this woman so easily ruined that relationship AND this kind man because of what? Sexual frustration? A rush? Exactly what was going on in her head??
I'm not one for feeling as such but your pain moved me almost to tears. The lack of reason and open ended pain you are left with is unfair, stY strong and HEAL. 👊🏾
FULL UPDATE:
I (43M) need to send a letter of thanks to Dyson. I discovered my wife (49) of 17 years, 18 month affair when I updated our fan filter on the app it uses.
UPDATE 1: 8:32
UPDATE 2: 12:31
CONCLUSION: 38:09
please one more update
I want to hear from you that she's not doing good she deserve to go to hell and I hope you're doing well my friend prayers on you
I wish you the best my friend try begging one more update I want to hear that she's not doing good and you don't great and you happy and she's yours and the dog house
I want to hear that you happy and she doesn't and she's and pain regret what you did to you
@@desergiolagunas3397 y
There was a CEO who would fire employees who were cheating on spouses with each other. He saw it as removing toxic elements. When asked why such a policy, he said: " If your own spouse can't trust you, why should I ? " Mic drop.
Joyce Meyers, a preacher, did this. She'd tell her staff when employed that that's one of their moral contracts outside work that affected employment with her (no crazy stuff).
One day one of her employees killed off his family cuz he'd cheated and his wife wanted divorce and he knew he'd get fired. The sad thing was it was blamed on her "moral code* but the guy wasn't blamed but excused as stuck between a rock and a hard place.
@@availanila Whoa...
What job is this and can I take an application?! This CEO sounds awesome to work under
@@jacobc8036 It was a company called EDS, the boss was the late Ross Perot.
That's smart. Chuck the trash out of your company.
That she asked "why would you tell his wife?" says a lot about her.
tell the wife is fine but i am getting forever pissed about people becoming so vindictive they are destroying lives how the fuck does an affair something that happens that has nothing to do with work cost someone their job their livelihood? that shit needs to end i dont give a fuck if you cheat if you are racist as long as it does not stop you from doing what you were hired to do it should have 0 bearing.
It's sad that cheaters do not think of repercussions and consequences of their choices and actions when they first plan to deceive. Then the cheating becomes commonplace and therefore almost normal. What irony that wifey would believe that her boy friend's wife should be kept in the dark! Really ironic when wifey learns her married boyfriend cheated on his wife and his secret mistress, the wife in this story! It's best not to make poor choices and travel down dangerous roads! Right on, that the OP overall stayed focused, did the right thing (overall), stayed true to himself and created a new path for himself. He needs someone with shared values, loyal and honest forever!
@@hardwirecars well, cheating shows a whole lot about someone’s character. All the things that follow your decision to cheat are your own fault. When you work for any business or whatever it may be, you are representing them outside of work whether you like it or not.
@@peppylafew116 You own your own life,not the company you work for. This you represent your work trope has to be dispelled. We are not slaves.
@@xhen12 why, so people can be horrible people outside of work? I mean if you work as a cop or a doctor would you think the same way?
This is a story of the fan hitting the shit.
@titanaup okayyyy then buddy
@titanaup What did I just read?! 🙈😅😂🙈
take my like, and get the fk outta here
aye this shit made me laugh out loud bruh😭😭😭
Because isn’t sposed to be “shit hitting the fan”? This shit in reverse😭😭
Why do cheaters say "I love you" when caught? Like, if you loved your SO, why are you laying with someone else other than SO?
Self delusions with a hint arrogance I guess?
Emotional manipulation because they like their cozy nest but still want to fool around. They know what they're doing.
They might love you. They just love themselves more.
The same reason dictators do, control.
And she cheated for over a year, like, WHAT
Props to the coworker, for telling you straight up that she didn't want anything permanent and just wanted to have some fun with you for a while.
Well a tall and fit PRN in their early 40s. Don’t blame em
During my divorce I had a similar relationship with a woman at work whose marriage had also recently failed. It last a couple of months, it ended organically, but it was good and healthy for both of us.
In all honesty I thought the coworker’s behavior was pretty gross.
Just imagine a reverse scenario where a man approaches his female coworker after she’d taken an abrupt leave of absence from work for what eventually becomes known around the office as her husband’s infidelity. She’s been so hurt and traumatized that she’s started therapy & is actively taking steps to leave the state because of it. Said guy approaches and says “hey I know what your going through & that sucks, but I’ve always thought you were hot & would love to take that box for a spin before you go, what do ya say?” Fucking disgusting.
@@keyminor6886 I don't see how that would be disgusting. In your scenario she could just say no and they both move on. Or she could say yes, have some fun now that she's "free" and move on after that. Some people, so yes also women, are all for a bit of fun to get their mind off of things after a break-up. Especially when it's with a good looking person.
@@keyminor6886 I get where your coming from especially because in the reverse scenario it would come off as predatory because it’s a man but I think that’s sexist. He’s not a boy in his teenage years being emotionally manipulated into doing something he would regret. He’s a grown man in his 40s choosing to have mutually consenting sex 🤷🏿♀️. Same is true if you reverse genders. Their both established professionals who are well into maturity and know how to say “No.”
The mocking of your insecurities is the part that is most unforgivable
What’s this?! Someone who gets cheated on and doesn’t do his best impression of a doormat?! Say it ain’t so!!!
Lmao 😂
Exactly what I was thinking ! Finally ! The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior ! This woman is a poster child for that believe !
I love this guy ! This guy is not a doormat like to many in this forum . Man card upgrade ! Much respect !!
Ooin
yeah but he went to the complete opposite extreme and became a fucking psycho stalker lmaooo
Lol 6'4 and 200 lbs, great career. He is going to be just fine. In fact she did him a huge favor.
She sure did‼️
She'll get paid, because we live in the "Guy-know-cent-rict" States of Amerika.
@@generallordjowbra8871 depending on the state it will most likely be an 80\20 or less
My type of man lol
@Morgan Pierce Nice work
He was only an ATM for her and her daughters. She used him for the financial security and I am sure this was not her only affair, it was only the one he caught her in.
I agree... this is so sad, why would anyone do this? He seems normal, with a good job and a good personality and takes care of himself AND took care of her daughters... what else do you need? I don't even understand those types of woman as a woman myself.
@@PoptartParasol Some of them didn’t have a great upbringing, so they do bad things to compensate. At least that’s my take on it
It's weird for the older daughter to think he was the cheater and never asked him about it.
@@redassassian And better yet, her mother never explained to her child, he wasn't the one she cheated on her father with.
@@ALJ9000 actually
That's exactly how it works lol as an abuse victim I used to be borderline psychotic until I got therapy and had to rethink my life and future actions now I'm in a slightly better place and I'll keep trying the cheater needs it too frr
"It wasn't supposed to go this far". Really?!?! So at what point and after how many cheating acts was it suppose to end before it went too far?
😂🤣😂😂 Then she said "Your can't do this" afterwards😂🤣
All that "It wasn't supposed to go this far" means is that the OP was never supposed to find out. Read her responses carefully, and they only show that she's really only sorry she got caught.
unexpected pregnancy.
She never loved him. She was looking for a wallet and security for her kids.
Grabbing another wood before letting of the other wood .
A 32 year old woman with a man too young to be reasonably be mistaken as the father of her children, but with a promising career path, was probably hard to overlook. I imagine that there was a power dynamic he hasn't mentioned, or maybe hadn't realized in their dating years, that lead to their marriage before he was really ready.
It’s always one side of the story right. Maybe the woman was too attractive and young for him and he knew it. He still went ahead with it because that’s what he was attracted to like she was attracted to his wealth and security.Just presenting all possible facts.
@@xhen12 yeah it could be that OP is a single 14 year old in Calcutta with one eye and a peg leg writing this as a story for his creative writing class and also he has a pet mongoose. Just presenting all the possible facts.
@Maggie Kinsella 15K a month is outrageous.
What's so stupid about it is that it's common knowledge the way 'free' (unearned) money is well known to ruin lives. (example: the average lottery winner 5 years later [specifically in the $100k to 1M range]).
There's just something destructive about being given amounts of money far higher than you had ever developed the skills and discipline to manage. ...but unlike lottery winnings, this occurs at a person's lowest and most vulnerable and unstable point. Your state needs a more thoughtful system than simply GIVE LOTS OF MONEY TO EX, in my humble opinion.
...maybe cover the major bills, etc. for a period of time.... Forget the cash transfers though....
Cheating isn't just one choice; it's numerous choices. She could have stopped any time before physically cheating but she continued to choose him over OP.
OP is better off without her.
Many choices. Many....
Why is this so common with girls these days?
@@Carzone2021 consumerism... I tell you people view people as a product now more than an actual beings. With the internet, you have the world to have sex with. It makes people believe that there always better elsewhere! No one wants to works at the hurdle of a relationship now.
@@Carzone2021 I picked my first wife even though she was heavier than I thought I liked.She lost the weight and got alot of attention.I was a semester from graduation quit school and lived in a small pickup sending money home driving omaha to Ft.Worth and back many weekends for one night at home.Wasnt my kid, it should be jail time for it.She immediately took him out of school at 7.No one would help.Finally I call the truant officer at his old school who arrested her.Breast feeding him at 6 yrs old and now I had no parental rights because DNA test said I was not the father.The first Christmas was hard to take seeing parents shopping with their kids.People change and then rape you financially and emotionally as if you're suddenly an enemy.Very hard to have a relationship with a woman who did nothing but suffers from my bad past.I really can't let someone close anymore
@@allanbrogdon5317 hey brother I do understand coz something like that happened to me long back with someone..guess its happening to large % of guys coz girls treat themselves as commodities n choose one who can afford them best often with or without love whereas guys don't care for their hard earned money n like to spend on loved ones without much complaining. Guys should know that girls love money more than men n get easily bored with men but not with money, so never give ur heart to girls save it for parents, kids, dogs n ur hobbies, as these won't hurt so much afterwards
I truly believe adultury can be classified as emotional and mental abuse that can lead to depression, PTSD, and in some cases suicide. It really takes a truly messed up and frankly evil type of person to do that to someone like that and have no remorse and get a thrill off of doing it.
I agree. It's to bad that the law makers don't agree. But then again it does help their agenda of the destruction of family values.
Some sociopaths cheat apparently trying to "feel" something.
Agreed‼️‼️
Yes I married my high school sweetie I loved her and her much cuter friend I turned away because she was 15.Later my "wife" who was soooo sweet told me my son wasn't my biological child.It was a horrible day, July 14th 1994.Paternity fraud should be jail time.Now they force the man to keep paying for the donor's child.I will never totally trust another human.I almost stayed because I loved her but knew what would happen.I treated him as my own and he has her mental health problems too being an adult I am happy with my 15 year old chihuahua and would live in my car before abandoning him .He is like a child to me and it will suck if he dies before me but I used to have six and made it through them going.
There is nothing done to"" it is a separate act and a "high". His problem in believing in an inhuman ideology.
I just realized what she was doing when she told her AP all of Op's short comings......
She degraded him and insulted him to this man, hoping this man would also talk shit, allowing her to feel a little less guilt and maybe even a little excused to do the shit she did!!
Interesting...makes sense (in a twisted way).
It's kind of like a dumbed down version of mob mentality, because having someone else agree with you on a decision you're not 100% sure on makes you feel better about that decision, and even makes you feel justified in said decision, just like how cheering something with a mob makes you feel more powerful, and makes you feel like you have justification for whatever it is you're chanting.
@@icyatlasartworks Makes sense! Thanks for elaborating!
I don't get it. I don't even talk about any of my EX boyfriends in terms of their secrets or insecurities, because those things are private and they trusted me with their secrets, and even if I'm no longer with someone I'm not going to betray their trust. Why the hell would someone do that about their current partner?? You said to remove guilt, but you'd think she'd feel even more guilty for that...
@@_lil_lil You know how some people get off by bringing others down? Even if it's just 2 girls/guys chatting, if one is insecure they seem to want to talk crap about someone else.....boost their egos, however wrong it is, people seek acceptance or attention in any form!
You seem to have a good heat though, keep it that way!!!
I thought this man was going to get killed by still staying so closed to her during the detachment phase.
Dude is so lucky.
Yeah, I was listening to everything and thinking the same thing. I thought that he was going to snap and do something that might hurt her, or that she'd try to hurt him while he was sleeping.
He's a big guy and if he pushed her too hard when she tried to hug him, then he could've really hurt her. She was scared and at rock bottom, and a person is capable of doing things that they'd never normally do when they're in a state of mind like that. Plus they were both drinking, and introducing alcohol to strong emotions is never a good idea.
I'm just glad that nothing bad happened there. It was such a volatile situation, and they would've been better off apart, with one staying at a hotel. Good thing this story had a "happy ending".
@@jamesteegardner2273 One of the preferred methods for women to kill a person is poison. I was amazed when he willingly ate food that she gave him.
@@teramedia7333 exactly. My first reaction to her making food for him was don't eat it. Then again, the mind can be tricky. He might have not cared if the food was poisoned at that point.
@@teramedia7333 poison him?
Seriously though? She was trying to win him back, she's not a good person but i never got psychotic murder vibes from her.
She definitely doesn't deserve any form of forgiveness but to peg her as a psychotic murderer is absolutely ludicrous.
In fact I'd argue that there was a MUCH higher possibility that his anger and rage might have caused him to act out of character and do something he would later regret.
Killing him while she's attempting to reconcile with him is not even close 🤣
@@teramedia7333 I was thinking this too. I once heard of a story where a wife slowly poisoned her husband until he died to collect life insurance. She did this twice and had a third victim before she got caught
The husband had a friend over and he was making some food for the friend with the mayo. She became strangely possessive of the mayo, insisting the friend not eat it, and he found out her evil plans after that.
That wasn't what I expected. I was thinking that Dyson has a fan with a spy cam in it.
This obviously "spiraled" out of control.
Exactly what I thought when I read the title.
I wonder how Dyson will feel assuming he sends the thank you letter? 🤔
@@heatherlowe7330 probably nothing as humans dont read those emails lol
The fact that this started with a dyson fan is mind boggling
Getting busted because of an update app for a fan. I bet nobody had THAT on their 2020 bingo card.
Dyson sphere of unhappiness, worlds of unhappiness. Sadly it's an offside tile, not useful unless we get wwiii and tidal tsunamis . Still waiting for the inevitable miniture ice age when the next hurricane pushes the atmo enough to make another polar vortex.
You won the lottery lol
OMG that's great. I'm borrowing the bingo line. Don't worry I won't lose it, or accidentally drop it or something like that.
@@Gary-And-His-Demons lol. Go for it dude.
There is a thermostat Wifi system talking to voting machines, news just came out! Same sort of story, CAUGHT CHEATING!
Damm, this post could be called "The Journey of a Betrayed Man". I was surprised by the older step-daughter's reason for why she had issues with OP in the last update. I'm glad he wasn't dumb enough to take his wife back and things worked out for him.
I commend the older step daughter for her heart felt apology. She is a far better woman than her mom.
I imagine the older step daughter may have brought up the OP's past to her mom to try to make her feel better. Then realized through that conversation that the OP wasn't the guy she thought he was, and it was someone else who did the deeds that gave her the chip on her shoulder this whole time.
"I told her I've had a hard time tasting and feeling anything other than bitterness and anger..."
This story, this is how super villans are made.
But he turns out good. He goes to Seattle and figures shit out. Good for hin
@LEAH KAY wtf are up with these comments?
Trying to fix things with a cheating spouse is like closing the barn door after the horse ran away.
Or putting the cat back in the bag
Gooood this story is SO GOOD, he stood up for himself, FINALLY someone does it, don't be a doormat, people!
Exactly.....some of this people I think can't be real....let toxic disgusting people treat u like that
He was a doormat the moment he married a single mom with two kids...
Dude played himself
poor guy sounded unhinged at the beginning. It was a good idea not to go confrontational that sounded great in someone's head but in execution a lot of things can go wrong. Well, he still feels off throughout the story. Hope he gets help.
@@Digger-Nick wait explain please because im starting to get interested in my neighbor she is a gamer girl but has 4 kids (aka everything i ever wanted no issue with kids just scared of them not sure how to be a dad in this new age aka they get out of line ima bust there ass)
@@hardwirecars Why would you invest your time and money into someone who already has 4 kids?? How old is this person?? You will always come second and never will control anything.
Start your own family, don't take care of someone else's. Someone like that isn't worth your time.
Yes, tell the wife. With all the STD's going around, some of which are permanent, the cheating hubby is putting his unknowing wife at serious risk.
Thank goodness he did tell her
Was honestly scared that he was still doing the deed with her after the break up.. Cuz what if she got pregnant-
I recognize that weird calm. It's not really calm, it's the numbness you feel when your emotions were burned to badly.
Yeah it's strange like the whole of you isn't on the same page with accepting that the thing that just happened have happened, the only other moment you can compare it to but it's not really the same is when your younger and a friend dies it can take weeks to 100% accept that the person isn't coming back the person is not going to come through that door anymore never ever, in a relation is in some ways different because your head har painted a future with a lot of plans that intimate includes her and suddenly in a blink your on an autopilot and can't see the map and you lost control and orientation like youre ship has wrecked and the Waves washed you up on an empty island and you have no clue where you are or how you going to get back but you feel you have the streength to survive on this Island so it is from day to day plans from now on, and your usual everyday life is gone and is nowhere to be seen, so you wonder what matters now.?
More like the silence before the storm...
Only way for the state to break into the piggy bank, as well as promote behaviors that destroy the family. Property that a lifetime of labor aquired is the prize. We are being harvested by the same players, or families that control information, education, industry, and governments. All these institutions in harmony incrementally destroying rhe culture from whom they benefited. Thru chaos comes order and humanity suffers while the few enjoy absolute power. This is what they are born to do. It is their job! Believe it.
When a person is burned alive, they only are in pain until their nerves are too burned to feel, but until then, that pain is excruetiating. That, i feel, is exactly what happened to OP- immolation of his emotions.
It is similar to an overload of the system. It takes time to reset. He usually felt it after there was an outpouring of energy and or emotion. I see it as a circuit breaker being tripped due to overload and you are running on backup battery.
I hear this so often when a cheater gets caught. They immediately try to minimize it by calling it a mistake.
Yeah. One time is a mistake. Twice is on going.
@@shill1444 Naw 😂😂😂 even half a time is a fucking choice. If the thought crosses her mind I don't fucking want her.
a mistake is going to fast on ice and falling on the pavement. a mistake is NOT falling and landing on a penis. you have to aim to do that.
@@shill1444 even once is premeditated
@@HelenWA - not really. Forever ago, I had an older "happily" married co-worker grab me in the break room and give me the most passionate, energetic kiss I had in years.
She apologized, saying her husband left and she was mess, having a rough time and I was the "attractive guy in the right place at the wrong time".
No harm, no foul. Matter fact, dude got clean n sober and they stayed together and I'm glad for them.
Nobody's perfect. Everybody is entitled to at least one mistake.
Videos like this proves being single and living on my own with my pets is a damn good life
Mgtow and mctow for life
@@erlindaalba1682 what’s mctow?
@@ALJ9000 men choose their own waifus
@@erlindaalba1682 Ahhh, I see
Nah man become a Bachelor and use these cheating pieces of meat for what they are.
I know how bad it feels. I caught my husband of 13 years in an affair for about a year or more. Pretty much destroyed my life. But I'd rather be dead than with him. It destroyed my life but I'd rather loose everything than live with a cheat. Good luck. Sounds like your doing well though.
Wasted over 12 years myself.. I had made the fortunate mistake of filling a flimsy milk jug with coolant which was kept in the trunk of her car for months. One afternoon, she came home from the grocery store, I grabbed some bags out of the trunk and noticed the jug had tipped over and was leaking. As I went to pull the carpet out after removing the jug she stopped me for no reason. As she walked into the house I turned around and pulled out the carpet. Stuffed next to the spare tire was a "go bag" full of all the dirty evidence. I can never put into words how I felt in that moment or when I confronted her about an hour later... (she laughed in my face). I lost 23 pounds in 30 days and finally understand how people get to the point of domestic murder and suicide. Two small kids in the crossfire as well.. she is completely shameless.
My ex was so heartless and was cheating.On my wedding night I slept alone.I called her about her sneaking out to see the ex who was in town.I was having a major panic attack and trying to not cry at work with hundreds of people there.She was cold and couldn't believe I was upset.Like I was actually cheating!Her phone rang and she said it's him gotta go.I stuck it out for years and thought it wouldn't bother me.A friend came over and realized I hadn't eaten for 4 days and not much to drink.People didn't understand why I stayed so long.You really can't pick who you love and my picker is broken
yeah felt that way too....you`re just better off w/o him.
@@jessemedina4482 the ideal cheater
@@allanbrogdon5317 Wtf, why be a doormat?
This needs to be turned into a movie.
The question remains , who ended up with the Dyson fan?
Eyes on the ball, eh?
Probably the guy, since it helped him out so much
Me, the fan and I have been in a relationship for 4 months now, the fan fulfills my every want and need, and only asks that I love it in return
@@icyatlasartworks I'm sorry but the fan and I have been seeing each other for a while now. we have something special!!!
@@junior602002 ...no, not the fan too, my love hath betrayed meeeeeeee
His therapist told him he isn't codependent. That's a very important quality to have. Allowing oneself to really be angry and take agency in bad situations is a healthy thing. So many people are taught to just forgive and move on, because it's easier than teaching a kid how to really work thru being wronged. This guy has healthy self regard.
His parents said stbxw was damaged goods, they knew it was not gonna end well.
love IS blind.
She was older too compared to him... and the man she was cheating on was also very young. maybe she manipulated/groomed him? I wouldn't be surprised
@@PoptartParasol can't groom someone in their 20s lol. Manipulated applies perfectly fine here
@@anguishedcarpet you can.
@@tuopsy no you can't, grooming literally means long term manipulative endeavors, specifically premeditated to facilitate the coercion of sex from a CHILD
Point to be taken
*no compromising on career
*never marry a cheater
*have a self-respect till death
*never compromising on wrong doings without proper punishment.
Wise men learns others mistake.
Avoid single moms.
@Redheaded Conservative no if not married but the partner dies you have nothing. Had a few tragic stories about it. Be wise about marrying though. Poor guy he really took it hard... I feel for him.
@@georgeblair3894 that is unfair so many single women do have tragic stories to no fault of their own. It really not a matter of children or not. I have so many friends who chose a violent husband. They seperated seeing this. Unfortunately, they had a child or more before leaving. Still hoping they get a chance at happiness even if they have offspring(s).
@@mst-pierrem5729 So she married the bad boy, gave her best years to him, and I'm supposed to rescue her from her bad decisions? No thanks. My wallet-my choice.
@@georgeblair3894 well thank God, most men don't think like you. I wonder if ever you thought single fathers should have the same disregard.
When I busted my ex along the same lines, she said a lot of the same things...Why I told AP's wife, what if her mom found out, what if her work found out...Nothing to do with how I felt discovering a year long affair, a hidden phone and a bank account I didn't know about...She has since been remarried and divorced in the span of 3 years. Selfish people should stay single...
when you read these stories,they ALL have the same answers........they must read the same book of cheaters.
Well theres one selfish that ensures you'll stay in relationship, "Yanderes" but they pose a different danger.
Let me guess AP cheated again, but on her right?
@@Quadrolithium I honestly would rather have a yandere over any one of these people in these cideos
Why send the PDF to his soon to be ex wife's lovers wife? Because it's JUSTICE.
Should have soaked the "special toy" in ghost pepper liquid for 10 min. then wiped it off. Imagine the chaos when that baby slid home! :-)
HAAAAAA! Talk about KARMA! Yo!
You are a bit too creative
Unfortunately, if she figured out he did it, she could charge him with assault
That’s assault and cruel and unusual punishment.
Oh damn he should dip that on toy 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 gonna be fun see aftermath of used that
Man, this was a painful 43 mins. You almost felt like you were there witnessing it all...
Commendable, he should absolutely inform her workplace. It's disgusting how people would just destroy families and other human beings.
That could backfire, unless work was key to the affair.
I loved the way he’s able to express himself, he sounds like a emotional available man, I would kill to have a man like this. I’ve never cheated in all my relationships but always got cheated on, it devastating. Now single for several years no kids a nurse and 41, just me and my cat
I had a situation that may have been worse than this guy's, at least in some ways. My ex cheated on me from the very beginning. If I had run into to you a couple of years ago, we maybe could have connected. You were always cheated on? Me too... but enough years of reflection have taught me that I simply attract users... A wise friend told me that I could either suffer the pain of betrayal, or of loneliness. I chose the loneliness, because at least it is my choice.
Cats are social, always have two, so they keep each other company. Take care of you.
@@shanidar god bless you, have you notice the women that don’t cheat, cook, clean the house , career driven get the lousy men, but the women that do the opposite get the good men, it’s so backwards, and I agree I have much more peace celibate, not dating , just focus on me, I have so much more peace, I rather be alone than deal with this bs with men
@@keepitrealfolks6737 I'm going to be honest, the fact that you are here pointing out that the "good girls get lousy men" and that you 41 with you and your cat makes it sound like you haven't gotten over this.
and not to sound like a dick but the whole good women get lousy men piece comes across as very "nice guy"
"emotional available man, I would kill to have a man like this." Hum, I think you could have saved him a divorce....
is he fluffy?
Tasting like static is so accurate for food in that anger mode
This is the most interesting Dyson ad ever! Gripping
This whole atory left me beyond unsettled. I hope OP is okay in Seattle; it's really not the best place for depression.
If something is "bent but not broken" its still damaged goods
Good, true, point!
Are you perfect?
@@KittenUndercover stfu
@@KittenUndercover the buyer can't be damaged... She is the goods. My money always perferct!😜
@@KittenUndercover lmao u a bum and this doesn't fit the situation 😂
Plot twist: it's a fictional revenge boner viral marketing campaign for Dyson xD
@titanaup this is the funniest comment I’ve read in months
IQ 5000 move. I would definitely buy
@titanaup Lmao
This story reminds me of a saying I recently heard. Demons run when good men go to war. Those who use violence as a last resort, use it as a last resort. When they reach that point, their goals become, "reduce the target to a point where they would not even think to ever do such a thing again." I'm glad your doing better man.
I'm glad he stood up for himself and it's nice to see a cheated on spouse do so, but the abusive sex is genuinely disturbing.
That recording could get him in legal trouble later. A good lawyer could twist it that she was coerced via threats.
Also protects him as she can't accuse him of rape and get .ore from the divorce
yeah. i liked everything about this story besides the sex and her still sleeping with him. also, even if he was doing abusive sex, the wife apparently likes BDSM so it kinda seems like he’s rewarding her behavior.
Not only that but he could have seriously messed up if she got pregnant. He would be very screwed.
Idk. When me and my wife separated we ducked like rabbits even though I thought we were done. It's a different feeling that I cannot explain. We got back together but it had nothing to do with "those sessions". There was also no affairs to my knowledge. It was the fact I thought she didn't love me anymore and wasnt affectionate and talk with her about it for months before with no change in her behavior. I don't mean only physical(sex) affection, but she kinda checked out of the marriage mentality and physically so after talking numerous times I assumed she just didn't want to be "the bad guy" by filing for divorce.
She's a documented liar and deceiver whose word is no good. Plus, he should be able to very easily claim mental defect or temporary insanity....it is a usable defense in more than just homicide cases.
Demand a jury hear his case and you only need one former betrayed spouse in the jury pool to clear him, I would think.
If she were to make a stink about that, then any defense counsel worth their salt would then open the files and allow the ugly content of the copied texts to be read in full light of day as evidence of his state of mind
I watch a bunch of these every week so I can feel better about being single and not good at socializing with the opposite sex
My friend noted his cheating wife when Google maps updated and the satellite view showed the lovers truck in the driveway.
LOL!
I forgave and took her back. My situation was similar. I learned early on at least one of our children isn't mine, possibly the other as well. I should have ended the relationship!
Looking for a 3rd? Dude get the DNA for all kids and get std tested. And make smooth plans to get out. Unless you into that messy lifestyle. Remember you are planting the seeds fir your kids to have no pride and accept be cheated on.
If you still feel that way, maybe you should. All the best regardless
You still can. Shock can cause us to make decisions we otherwise wouldn't have. Deciding to forgive her is in that bracket, except you weren't truly able to forgive her or you wouldn't regret not finishing it then. Are you ever again going to be able to trust her the same? There's your answer.
I’m just waiting for Chris at Kinko’s version of the story on Reddit.
...and the pics he archived from the printer! 😁
Chris is writing a screenplay probably right now...
Shoutout to Chris at Kinkos that man is a true homie
The thing that bothers me is had she been with anyone knew right before he got tested some things don't show up for months, so he really needs to get retested after a decent period of time
This.. this cheaters, who they are trying to fool by saying "I love you"/"it was a mistake" XD
Yeah right..... it’s always a mistake...😖😖😖🤮🤮🤮🤮
@@rubyrattler891 lowkey the counter to the cheater saying it was a mistake just respond with “our relationship? I’m glad you agree.”
Oh. My. G-d. This was so intense. I hope and pray one day he is truly happy again. Two quotes come to mind: Oscar Wilde said living well is the best revenge. And who knows who said, when he said she got a job a week later, well, the Devil looks after his own.
@Drew Taylor we all know how they manage to bounce back so quickly🤭
when he said it`s who you know............i said it`s who you BLOW.
Well...seems like as soon as cheating b is almost out of the picture,things r beginning to get better for op,he's already having some fun,the step daughter apologised,....overall ,guess he'll be much better now....all's well that ends well.
It’s true..... once the trash is cleared out, everything gets better......
Are you on a marathon of these videos too? This is the second time I have seen you
@@jacobc8036 I watch these videos as often as I can. . ......yes......to protect myself.
@@noexplanationowed3525 same...
"It feels so cold, it burns." Brought me to tears. I was listening to this all at work so I had to keep my emotions inside. I finished listening when I got home and just broke down. It's been 3 months since I found out something similar. The pain just feels so intense.
When you fall from the ladder called life, take a step back, look at the mistake you made climbing that ladder, and go again, and further than you have before. Life is an endless ladder, but you only truly conquer it when you learn to fall down and learn from it. Life will be better for you at some point, that I know...so be strong and do what is right for you. Cause you should be your first priority. ;)
Watching these reminds me to lovey husband all the more. Ive got a good one and id never want to lose him.
Glad to hear that. Best wishes 🙂
Wishing you a loyal, happy, healthy, and loving marriage
This makes me think of a quote from dr who about when a good man goes to war
Good men don’t need rules. Today’s not the day to find out why I have so many.
This kind of stories makes me afraid to get into any relationships and take the plunge of marrying someone. I have had 4 failed relationships till now and even though not because of cheating on my part or any of my partners (not that I know off) , I always feel like it always might have been because I was the one who always compromised and every time I may have been used like a doormat. I don’t want to be in any relationships therefore and not get married.
Being single is a great place to be. I learned that the hard way but since the divorce 25 years ago I have been completely happy with my life.
I'm failing to understand the nature of romantic relationships in the first place. I desire them myself but when I look at it critically, the whole concept just doesn't make any damn sense to me. It just seems completely nonsensical.
Many women feel like doormats. But more often, men are used as doormats!
Stable is boring, drama and humor is exhilarating.
You out women on a pedestal and they left
I listen to all of these, but this one really got to me. This man is great at explaining his pain and dare I say I felt it. I really hope hes no longer angry, and can understand that his life was hardly a waste. Hes accomplished more than most and has a second chance to rediscover himself and maybe have some fun that he didnt know was possible.
I can’t even finish this. I’m just disgusted with your wife. Being in love is one of the best feelings a man can ever experience, especially when you trust your wife 1000% like you did. Loving blindly brings with it rewards you can never fathom. I for the life of me cannot figure why one would blow 17 years of ups and down, good times, bad times, birthdays, holiday, taking care of each other when they’re sick, confiding in one another, etc.
I have never once looked through my significant others phone, texts, emails etc. and like you I too do not use social media, at all. This story makes me feel I’m being Neieve ( excuse my spelling )
I wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavors. My only advice would be to not start dating again until you can enter a relationship without bringing the baggage your x-wife left you with. You deserve to trust again and your partner deserves to be trusted.
This is one of the most heart wrenching things I ever listened to.
Man, this is brutal.
I can feel his pain going through his soul and the disappointment.
It's a blow to his ego that will leave him questioning his self-worth.
Just brutal.
I listen to stories like this to keep me focused on my purpose and to keep me from catching feelings. I’m a sick way it felt good hearing this.
The Jezebel spirt is strong in this woman
I love the point he wanted to do the Hollywood break up. Hell I wanted to do that. Yet the lawyer is the voice of reason. (Thank god)
Good grief.....using company equipment, on company dime, and disclosing company proprietary information...are these people trying to get caught
Thank you for updating. I hope everything turns out great for you please update again later:).
I tried playing the good, ‘sane’ guy once with my ex of ten years.
Next time, I’m packing my stuff and disappearing. No drama, no dragging crap out. No fake apologies or awkwardness. My stuff goes in a box and I leave without a word.
Would have saved myself a world of pain.
Having been cheated on, I can say that taking action and not even considering any reconciliation helped me heal faster. You will feel sadness and distrust for a long time. But even if you want the person back sometimes, cutting them out of your life will help you get back to who you really are.
After a year (at 20). I started dating and had an amazing gf. Guess who suddenly showed up? If you go back it will tell that person you have zero self respect.
The best thing you can do after having been cheated on is take time off from relationships, surround yourself with family and friends. Wait until you start feeling like yourself to date again.
FOR GODS SAKES CHANGE THE FREAKIN LOCKS, OR YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF LOCKED OUT.
Imagine getting caught by a Dyson fan- that’s absolutely hilarious
Don't move to Seattle
He's gonna lose all the money he gets from the house selling on taxes alone in Seattle
I’ve seen so many stories like this, and this is something I’m genuinely afraid of. So many stories of small things that people have caught, if he hadn’t seen the Snapchat he never would have known. I know a lot of relationships end happily, but there are a lot that don’t and I’m afraid of that
Bobby, stay single!
The more sexual partners a person has is directly related to how likely they are to cheat because people who live the hook up culture aren't used to practicing self control. Look for women who don't sleep around or have hobbies that involve being around people who sleep around like going to bars and clubs.
@@JustMe-mg6vw that really seems to be the strategy. Commitment isn’t valued by society much these days
Yes. I hope that IF cheating is happening I do find out but as media platforms grow, I've noticed many cheaters are busted this way nowadays.
My wife of 15 yrs finally told me my 6 yr. Old son was not my biological child.New guy was 30 never been with a woman.I felt sorry for him I knew what he was in for .
It made me happy that the stepdaughters and OP were able to reconcile. 🥰
"You're a grown man, you made the decision."
Bullshit. Anyone with a healthy relationship makes compromises with the other parties' interests in mind.
The co-ownership of the decision makes his statement completely accurate.
No
It's like im right next to him seeing these things happen when he explains the story
I lived something very similar to this... but it wasn't for 18 months, it was ten years. And only found out after the divorce how bad she really was.
@@shanidar hope u fine dude it's gonna take awhile to heal
That really sucks man. Time heals and you’ll be feeling alive again soon.
This hit too close to home.
I was crying listening to this.
Being cheated on and finding all of the texts of them talking about you.
It's painful. It's been years but this reminded me of the pain.
Having the love of your life one day and being so numb and incapable of love the next because you feel like that person threw away your heart and now have none.
"Would you consider yourself damaged goods now?"
"Absolutely."
It's something about being a man where you have to apply the rules you place outward, inward. It's a painful thing once you have to do it.
This man is amazing. He deserves his freedom and happiness
"Get married!", they said...
"You'll be happy you did so!", they said...
Sure, sure. Keep the lies coming.
To be fair not everyone sucks like this wife, not everyone belongs on the highways
This reads like a bad dream.
Omg
Im Not living trough this and hope to God I never will, but Hell this actually made me sick like really sick actually physically sick to my stomach
My heart goes to Op and all the 3rd person involved in this god awful mistake... Just Damn no words
OP would have been better to wait until the divorce papers were ready, have her served, not be there when she got back, send the PDF to everyone, and block her/change his number, and only meet at their lawyer's office.
Allt he did was put himself through months of begging, pleading, stories, sex manipulation, drama, plus open himself to risks of abuse charges, etc. He didn't get anything from it. She didn't tell him anything he didn't know, no closure, etc. and every bit he had to do despite her -- why tell APs wife? Seriously?
I’m hooked on these now. I hope he gives another update.
I'm too
Huh, so you really like seeing people end up end these situations u sick sadist
@@HEROhacker101 not really you moron. I like the updates
My heart is shattered for this guy. I don’t think I could be as tough as he was.
Your right ,you lost Hemingway. To give great thought on the story line and then tell readers about BDSM with little insight on stbxw , leaves most of us confused.
Oh man, this one hit hard. Not the cheating part per see what was of course horrible, but that she took his secrets, deepest emotions, and insecurities and made fun of them with the guy she cheated on. That is absolutely unforgivable. Nothing can excuse that, nothing. Such abhorrent behavior. And then saying "It was a mistake", wow. That has to be one of the evilest 'normal' people I have ever heard of.
honestly if the guy wrote a detailed book about this, he could EASILY make racks
All that's going through my mind is: "people willingly move to Washington?" LOL
I know, I am like you want to go to woke city where they are a miniature California? Eastern Washington maybe, but you probably won't make as much. The prices are much lower though.
Y'all keep your mini Californias in your pants please..
Facts lmaooooo
Washington national parks are beautiful tho
Western Washington is beautiful, with a nice climate...lived there for a couple of years...lots of things to do and see!
This story is really sad and incredible. I've listened to it before but never knew the last part. I'm glad that he got the possibility of 2 jobs where one he could travel. I'm also happy that his oldest daughter was able to talk to him and apologize for treating him the way she did. Her parents both cheated and she was awful of thinking that he was the guy whom his mom cheated with. I'm also glad that one of his coworkers wanted to feel what he was like in bed and I guess she saw him as a friend with benefits.
I'm glad his life will become better for him and hopefully he'll settle the divorce amicably.
I feel so sorry for this guy. And he is right, any relationships he gets into in the future will be negatively affected by his ex’s cheating. Cuz there will always be that nagging worry in the back of his mind of “is this person cheating too?”
i am so happy that he made his way back to recovery it genuinely brought a tear to me eyes i feel so horrible for him i know how it feels
"Would you consider youself damaged goods?"
Yes.
I felt that
This really hit hard and was so good. I went through something like this. I’m sorry for your pain and experience in this. This brought back a flood of m emotions and memories for me. Thank you for sharing this.
Life does get better, it just takes time.
I am impressed by that guy. Good for him that he stood up for himself and didn't let her abuse him like that.
You're impressed by a man who sexually abused his wife, and went out of his way to ruin her life in an act of cowardly revenge. That's awesome. Really great. I feel sorry for the woman who marries you; god help her.
"Don't go! It shouldn't have gone that far! He means nothing to me! I love you!"
If you loved him, you should have kept your legs closed
The fact that he basically ruined his own opportunity just to be with her when he was younger and betrayed his own policy about marriage and children FOR HER makes this 100x worse. There’s barely anyone who would do so much for a person, and yet this woman so easily ruined that relationship AND this kind man because of what? Sexual frustration? A rush? Exactly what was going on in her head??
I'm not one for feeling as such but your pain moved me almost to tears. The lack of reason and open ended pain you are left with is unfair, stY strong and HEAL. 👊🏾