Sometimes life isn’t about finding “the big forest” but just enjoying the trees. Relishing as many small or large passions come and go without worrying about their longevity or your success in them.
@@brqzxy☹Also "happy" moments last the shortest and are very few and in between most of your life when you think about it in a practical perspective. I usually will think people have it better than me. As an example, they may have a partner, children, work, and leisure (Mind you that not everything is as good as it seems on the outside). But then I realize there will always be people that are doing worse than me. This is why I love being busy as much as possible to forget about my existence even though that's not the right cure to my ailment. I've suffered from social anxiety and depression my entire life, and dealing with others is my personal hell, but at the same time I deeply depend on those around me emotionally. If it wasn't for my close relatives, I'd be broken as a human being.😞
Enjoying the "trees" is for low intelligent beings or unless your high &drunk. Enjoying the trees isn't an option, rather you need to know why and how the trees are there
Man you spoke out of my soul. Nearly everything you said resonated with me. It is nice to know that I am not the only one who sometimes feels lost in his own life. Sadly I did not find any way out of it yet. But like you said someday we will hopefully figure it out. Thanks for this video ❤️
And we will, I'm terrible at being patient but I think that's an overlooked component to all this. Keep working on stuff but give yourself more time to get there is how I've been trying to think about it
I can totally relate when I was your age - I’m about to be 33. And life’s directive ends up being not as serious in some aspects as taking care of your health, nourishing family dynamics as an adult, and making sure you’re fueling yourself well from within. You have time, the journey to the path is what should be a main focus! You got this!
you are so real for this. I’m 25 and I feel the exact same way. Sometimes I look around at everyone absolutely baffled about the fact we just walk around and live life and for what? like what are we all doing? but I guess because there’s no definite answer to that question we just have to make our own answers, and that requires a lot of experimentation. So, the moral of the story is carry on trying things, see what makes you feel like life is worth living and keep doing that! we are all in this together 🤝
Im going through a life crisis myself at 19, I also can’t stick to things and when I do, somehow it never works out. Only advice I can give is to honestly keep going. I like to live by the motto “it is what it is” There have been times where I stayed in bed for a whole week and no one cared, they’ll just label you as “lazy” my current family environment is toxic asf so it really doesn’t help. Just keep going. I try not to plan as much cause then I’ll only end up ashamed and disappointed. Just know you’re not alone man. And sometimes overthinking or stressing is just a sign that you really care. It’s not selfish to want more out of life.
I appreciate that, and you're not alone in how you feel either. I try to remind myself just to "show up" every day and if I do it enough days in a row, I'll be somewhere better eventually
I just wanna say that I think the content you’re making is dope, and important, and I watch for far more than the whispering! I laughed when you said that. I often feel that way too, “psychotic” for thinking and feeling so deeply about shit that others don’t seem to care about at all. It is isolating. So yea bro. I see you and I feel you. The vids are hitting for me in the exact way that I imagine you hope(d) they would, and I can’t be the only one! There are a few others in the comments already. I’m sure it requires some degree of courage to be this vulnerable about such matters, and I just wanna let you know we appreciate it! Keep it up dude. You are a bright guy and absolutely possess the necessary resources to find your way. As untrue as it always fucking feels, I really do think this is all part of the process. So let us enjoy it as best we can, and give ourselves some compassion god damnit. What else can we do 😆🤷♀️ (seriously what can we do haha) (please help) See ya pal 😇👋
I appreciate your kind words bruh that means a lot, thank you for watching! It's so cool to know you enjoy the content too, even if whispering is a big part of it
this entire video is so real, i just withdrew from my dream university right before i turned 18 cause i was feeling so hopelessly unmotivated. and i’ve been back in my hometown on a “gap semester” bouncing from potential career paths and finding fatal flaws in the prospects of each of them until there’s literally no more left. also the thing about reading constantly and not having social media is so accurate too 😭😭 i’ve been reading depressing existential literary fiction books to try and find someone who gets it as if it’s my day job
I totally relate, but you've got so much time bruh. I think all you can do is keep trying things, and investing in the things you know you like. What's the most recent book you read, I'm looking for a new one
the way you‘re just beeing raw and honest is very grounding to me maybe I can recommend a book its a novel it‘s called the midnight library and it covers exactly that topic talks about the choices we all can take in life and puts it a little in perspective, found it so helfpul:))
I actually read that book last year and really enjoyed it. It's crazy how you can literally read a whole book that's exactly describing my feelings, and still have them all these months later. I think I'm learning that these kinds of changes take a long time to settle in. Do you have any other book recs?
Keep following your passions bro, no matter how crazy it seems to others , just find your passions in order to find your purpose. One of my favorite quotes . And work hard brotha . God bless.
Yeah man, I have had these exact feelings! There are areas in my life I’ve acknowledged as being consistencies (my relationships, where I’m currently living, physical activity) and I do a check in with myself of 1) am I happy/ content with the current state and 2) if I am not, what kind of minor changes can be made to help ensure I am happy with these situations. I refrain from doing anything major in those areas until I’ve consistently thought about it for months and have a solid plan. I know myself enough to know I am sporadic and switch interests frequently (especially with creative endeavors), so I give my myself the grace to explore different interests and revisit that interest when it is sparked again. I appreciate that experience in the moment and am not super hard on myself. Having a balance between those a few concrete pieces of my life at that time and exploring interests at what ever rate I feel is important to keep me in check. I think it’s important to find those concrete things, even if they aren’t major life factors, to anchor yourself to so you’re able to explore a variety of things.
I think the part where you mentioned knowing yourself is super important. And having a mix of stability and curiosity is great, I'm trying to work on that as well. Thanks for commenting and watching
As a university student i’m currently in the same situation…im constantly stressing and overthinking if i made the right choice because I have bigger plans for the future and university is not quiet compatible and in general I feel lost and confused as to whats best for me and what i should do in this case,so i understand your points Jacob they’re absolutely valid
I've gone through phases like this and what helped me honestly is just stopping trying so hard to find a direction or passion. Try not to think about it so much, and focus on what you feel like enjoying that particular day. Might be different every day but that's okay. Something might eventually stick. But if not, you're still enjoying your life day to day and that's all that really matters.
I'm only 14, but I've had this exact problem for a very long time and I think I've finally found a solution. I thought about it for a long time and I realized that what made me feel so hopeless, frustrated and I would say almost depressed was the need to control everything in my life, my emotions, thoughts, everything I did I analyzed endlessly and I judged myself all the time. Because if you keep forcing yourself into something, you almost lose your identity and you no longer know what you enjoy and why you actually do the things you force yourself into. I try to enjoy the little moments, do what I feel like doing, spend time with my family, work on my confidence and share my thoughts on TH-cam. I believe you will figure it out bro, keep going because I think you are on the right track.
That's very introspective for 14 bruh, you're so cool. I definitely struggle with control, but also expectations. And to your point, it leads to me doing stuff that I don't actually know why I'm doing
I have never found anyone who can explain the root of many of my struggles this well. 'Chasing the proverbial dragon'. One hobby, habir, job, thought that will take my stress away and have me lead my ideal meaningful life. I am always convinced everyone knows what this thing is except for me.
And it turns out almost nobody knows what that thing is. I think some people are good at pretending, and others are good at accepting it. Unfortunately I am good at neither rn
@@jacobdreamsasmr and who can blame you? With all that content of people who supposedly have 'found' the dragon. On we spin in this illusion of fulfillment. Let's take enough with love, coffee, books and good conversation.
Going through the same thing. I just turned 21 and I can imagine myself doing soo many different things that I hinder myself from doing absolutely anything. Also, the fact that everything is so expensive now a days. I can’t even experiment to see what I like because it comes with a bigger price to pay…literally.
I've been exactly the same for years. I really only started doing more in the past couple months, my advice would be to pick the thing that's easiest to do and go try it that day. Make it super low stakes, it doesn't have to mean anything at all. As soon as I tried one of the ideas I had, the others became much easier to do. It really just gave me the confidence to actually do the thing, and all of a sudden I didn't care so much about the outcome
Last year I was in a similar place im 21 now and live right next to Reno and relate a lot to your situation and I used self hate as a way to put off things i wanted to accomplish but then I fell in love with creating and absorbing art and now i’m trying to do everything related to art whether it’s drawing, photography, painting, or filmmaking. It’s just all about taking life in. Last year I didn’t think at my core i’d change and was looking for answers just like you and art just happened to open my mind a bit and give me hope.
That's sick bruh I'm happy for you. What kind of art are you most into at the moment? I've been thinking about reading poems, which is so random but I like the simplicity of them
I relate a lot about waking up in the morning without knowing what the actual fuck I'm going to do, what I have done and what I'm doing in my life. There's no solution yet, but the last couple weeks I've tried to just sit quietly and figure that, and talking about it with my friends just like you do with your girlfriend, I think that has helped and letted me discover that what I am doing is actual progress. I really hope everything is going to be fine to both you and me in the future. Have a good day my friend.
Just remember: the answer is not a hut in the woods. live your life the way you want and you feel is right. Do things that you love and make you happy and you’ll turn out great. Just keep going. 😊
I am a younger teen. I got a leg injury after a long summer training for an upcoming cross-country season. It felt like the first time I was fully committed and gained a high level of identity in my life. I still haven't been able to fully run at the same ability after months, and I feel like I have lost my love for the sport. I also got a shoulder injury around the same time which prevented me from working out, leaving me in a drought of time in which I just watched my progress in all my most committed hobbies disappear. I think movies act as a similar outlet as fiction books for you. I would also like to start reading. I deleted Instagram a while back and my friends have been encouraging the deletion of social media even going as far as youtube which I can't perceive myself giving up.
I'm sorry to hear that, all I'd say is that time spent training wasn't wasted. Not only did you cultivate good habits, but you showed yourself how far you can take something when you commit. So next time you're doubting yourself, think about what you were able to accomplish in just one summer. And if you're looking for fiction book recs I'd suggest Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow, or the outsiders
Hey Jacob a lot of the stuff you touched on I used to relate to a lot and still do at times, something that helps me honestly is to lean on the spiritual side. I feel like it can help ground yourself and self reflect on what you really want with your life. I used to struggle with like an identity crisis of who am I ? But whenever I lean on my spirituality it helps me regain passion and confidence in what I really want to do with my life.
@@jacobdreamsasmr That’s a good question. For me personally when I say lean on your spirituality I mean more on the religious side of things. For an example when I felt the most lost in identity of what I wanted in life. I felt like I had no passion and drive for anything I had more bad days than good and was often looking for substances to make life feel worth living. But as time went on I slowly went back to I guess what you would say would be my roots? In a way? I was born and raised Catholic but didn’t really follow the religion, but after high school I more identified as just Christian but still didn’t really follow the life of a Christian that knew God and Jesus well. But when I was at my lowest point in life I gave it a shot to really just surrendered myself to God and just worked on building a relationship with Jesus by just talking to him like a friend of what was on my mind and what I needed help with,etc. From doing that I noticed that I started to feel more at peace, my anxiety and depression slowly dwindled away and I started to get new ideas and passions in life that felt right and good to peruse. I still struggle with anxiety and depression from time to time and sometimes I have trouble making big decisions in my life, like is this right or is this wrong. But I now feel like I have a healthy way to cope with these things by seeking guidance to a higher power who knows and loves you, and that wants the best version of yourself to shine through. I hope this can somewhat connect and help you out, like it did me.
@@LukeJJ that was super well written, I think the idea of "surrendering" is what gets me hung up, I'm not really sure what tha tlooks like, so it's good to hear somebody else's experience
Okay well first, using negativity as your motivation almost never results in happiness.. for *anyone* despite how far they may or may not get. I think the want to have/do so many things is actually the want to try/have so many different experiences. what worked for me was going back to what I loved to do as a liiiittle kid. sometimes the world also influences your dreams.. like it’s dreaming through you or smth 😭 YOU sound like a person who needs to quiet your mind and really get back to the basics of self care, mindfulness, and just understand yourself a whole lot better. There's never gonna be this one thing or person that'll give you the magic key you've been missing. An epiphany? maybe, but those happen like all the time 😭 YOU GOTTA LIVE. Having specific expectations is a good way to disappoint yourself but having outlined goals can help you stay motivated & on track! I don’t know if you’re super spiritual but maybe even starting there will help! anyways, TLDR ; fuck it we ball fr 🧘♀️
I think getting back to the basics is a great idea, you are completely right. I always opt for complexity cuz I think it means I'll get more in the end, but really all I get is more stress. Goals vs expectations is also a good point, you kinda ate this comment up bruh I can't lie
@@jacobdreamsasmr I like to drop a little wisdom every now and then.. not too much 🥱 lol i’m kidding but thank you sm, i hope you just continue to get happier! 🧚♀️
Honestly I’m 27 and I have nothing figured out. My luck in life has been shit from dating, friends, work/ money for years. It was never long until something good came to an end, I lost a tattoo apprenticeship, left an abusive relationship that took all my money, got depressed and when I finally tried to get out of it I adjust some medication that ended up making me sick for 2 yrs. I started recording speed videos but stopped, I’ve tried tattooing but stopped, dropped out of college twice, have been fired from a lot of jobs, been stabbed in the back by every friend, started painting pet portraits but stopped. I finally had to wipe the slate clean and start over. I have ADD so it’s no uncommon for me to start things and not finish them. Trust me you’re not the only one dealing with this I can guarantee you majority of people deal with this stuff. Don’t be too hard on yourself
Thank you so much for sharing, to hear you encouraging me despite having gone through what you’ve experienced is so kind. I can’t imagine what it’s been like to have lived through what you have, but I will say 27 is so young and you must have so much life experience and resilience already. I’d like to think that’s gonna pay off someday soon. Thank you for again for reaching out
I feel that . Try to remind yourself to not determine your value by external things . It’s easier said than done . be kinder to yourself . But as being in my 20s as well I tend to get into this mindset , it’s difficult . Know ur not alone In feeling this way .
Yeah it can be overwhelming, I was definitely going through the same things recently. I found that identifying your core values is important. Once you have a better idea of who you are at a core level, your life choices become a little easier 🫶 also go easy on yourself if you need a while to figure out what you like - we’re still young on the grand scheme of things
I think focusing on your values is a great point and super easy to overlook. I always look for more complicated solutions but I have moments where I realize that just living in line with my "values" might really be the best way to go about it
Also, regarding the perfectionism w habits, I think its something most of us struggle with. As one myself, I used to do the same thing, beating yourself up and using self hatred as a boost to better myself. But in therapy I learned to be more flexible w myself, cuz even if u think about it, beating yourself up ends up being counterproductive, cuz then u really dont wanna continue anything at all, which is worse than skipping a day or so. Ik its difficult, but saying "I just lack that perspective" and stuff, is putting a label on urself, and subconsciously ull be integrating it slowly and self sabotaging. Even if its hard, take every opportunity of it as practice, remind urself of ur humanness and if u feel overwhelmed take on anxiety coping tools like the 54321 method and such, and try again the next day. U can do it 🫂
I think your point about flexibility is very pertinent to me, I definitely want to make that more of a focus the rest of this year. My rigidity is what’s causing a lot of my anxiety. Thank you for the insight!
This is how I felt in my early 20s and all through college, therapy has helped my mind relax and I had to start taking Zoloft which has changed my life for the better. It sounds like you have some mental health struggles you can work through with cognitive behavioral therapy. my therapist told me you can be happy doing many different careers, don’t fixated on there is only one perfect career. You just need to think of the happiest moments in your life, why they made you happy and try to have some of those things in your job.
I've actually been going to therapy for a couple years now and it's been the best thing i've done for myself by a mile. But you're right, my therapist compares it to investing myself in multiple baskets instead of just one. Like stocks
Always changing on what you want to do in life is so real to me because it happens a lot with me one day I wanna be a barber and around 1-2 months later I wanna flip shoes it’s honestly so hard it’s always something new and my parents don’t even think I can stick with something bc I always want something else and can’t stick with something so now I have to pay for almost everything
I think that’s the cost of figuring out what you wanna do. But I also think it’s good that you’re experimenting. I used to be so hard on myself when I’d give up on a hobby or endeavor, but the quicker I moved on and tried something else, not only did it get easier and more exciting to try stuff, I also became less hard on myself. So keep trying stuff out bruh
Long comment and I'm only on minute 12 but: I think you're so worried about not living life to the fullest (that's why you don't want to "be complacent" or "not be productive") that you're burning yourself out. And there's a part of you that thinks using your "self hate" as fuel is necessary for that not to happen. That's not true. You want to be better at something to feel good about yourself BECAUSE your baseline is not feeling good enough. That's why when you become good at something and that becomes your new normal you start feeling lacking again. You weren't born feeling not good enough, something happened along the lines and you started feeling this way. Think about those experiences and heal them. Parts work therapy is amazing for this, if you want to know more about it I recommend the book "no bad parts" by Richard Schwartz. Discovering your path and being intentional is what leads you to have a good life. I think to discover what you want to do (not that you have to stick to one thing forever, but I get it, you want to find that Thing that is your purpose) you need to look for the "signs". For example in my case I am an architectural photographer (idk if that's the name for it lol) and when I discovered that I wanted to do that it felt like I was already in love with it since forever and I was just realizing it. Since I was a child I spent hours "reading" Batman comics JUST to look at the drawings of the buildings of Gotham lol and I spent hours looking at the tall buildings I could see from my window, and when I became a teenager and my parents went to buy me my first cell phone, I only wanted it for the camera to take pictures of beautiful buildings, being able to talk to my friends was not the priority. The "signs" were there. Think of the things you love and are passionate about consistently and not the things you love just when you're in the mood to do them or only when the circumstances are right. The things you've loved for a loooong time. Not the things that feel new and exciting. That's where your purpose resides, I think. When you discover it and stop being so harsh on yourself you'll feel the drive. You're getting sick of everything fast because you're doing it to not feel lost, not because of true passion. Healing wounds of "not feeling good enough" + finding your passion/purpose = having drive and feeling like you're living life to the fullest. You won't need to beat yourself up to go for the things you want, I promise.
this is comment is absolutely incredible, really insightful even tho im not the op haahhah that was an awesome read and i’ll be personally adding that book to my list
That was so well written and hit me like a truck, thank you so much for sharing your insights. You completely nailed how I've been feeling. And hearing about how you found what you love to do lit me up even more. I think I'm starting to come around more and more on videos and stories, which is what I've always loved to do. I'm gonna try to lean into that more and see what happens. Thank you again for commenting, that was so great to read, I'm gonna share it with my gf too
Im 16 almost 17 im Getting older and older and i don’t know what i wanna do i don’t have passions my friends and people around me know exactly what they wanna do and they are very smart and im just not and i get what you mean by everyday you feel different and you don’t wanna make a better life for yourself too everything you said in this video i completely agree with you im so lost so i thank you for making this because i thought i was the only one
Thank you for sharing, I've got a couple quick things to say to what you just brought up 1. You are exactly where you're supposed to be. You are so young, you're not supposed to know what you want yet. All you need to be doing is trying stuff out. As long as you try, and put time into the things and people you enjoy, life will take you where you need to go, I promise 2. Nobody actually knows what they want, 100% of the time. Some people have a better idea than others, but we all have moments where we feel lost and confused. I would suggest not comparing yourself to those people. Which makes me a total hypocrite cuz I do it all the time. But I've just tried to take the approach that if I wake up every day and try to do things to move myself forward, and follow my values, then eventually things will become more clear It's easy to get discouraged, and you will have those doubts for the rest of your life. But you'll also start to come into your own as you get older. You're gonna figure it all out, patience is your best friend. It's hard to sit around and wait, so get up and go do stuff in the meantime
I was in that same boat until I really made myself commit to one thing. In my case, it was moving to California to try to find a job in the entertainment industry. I figure that if I give it and myself a fair amount of time, I’ll either grow and become more successful or I’ll figure out what I don’t want to do and narrow down my prospective choices. Either way, it’s a good thing. Just remember that you have time!
That mindset of it working out either way is great and really what I'm trying to get to. And sometimes I even feel happy when I try something and it doesn't work because it makes me think I'm getting closer to something that will
It seems like you are a person that tends to overthink things. This also means that you are very self reflected and try to make your life as perfekt as possible. I struggle with overthinking too. Personally, i try to view the bigger picture, zoom out. Often the small things that bother us become irrelevant when thinking this way. Easier said than done tho xD
I felt the same way but then I started weaving baskets out of pine needles and it really fueld my mind and ignited something in my brain. Eventually something will come along and everything will click. Its okay (and inevitible) to be a bit confused/frustrated in the meantime but remind yourself to let go
idk if this will be particularly useful for you, but i wrote out some thoughts i had while listening. i hope maybe there's a thought here that might be helpful the ego likes to insist that we develop thresholds which secure our self concept. we like to test ourselves to remind ourselves of who we are, and can feel lost if we fail. its important to remember that this is an illusion. you mention that you find yourself often "moving the goalpost" after you accomplish something because you're not the type of person to see the big picture. in reality, the prophylactic for this requires us to accept that the past and the future are fictions. there is only ever right now, the current moment. we like to delude ourselves by believing that we are a whole and complete identity grounded in a specific point in time, but the truth is we will only ever be "whole" or "complete" at the exact moment of our death when the totality of our actions are finalized. but until that point, we're only just bodies moving through space and time. you are alive, and the only person who can decide whether that's for better or worse is you, right now. so the next time you move the goalpost and feel dispirited, just remember that you don't need to see the "big picture", or look into the past, or think about the future. you just need to ask, "am I doing what I want to be doing right now, in this exact moment?" and if the answer is yes, what reason is there to feel lost and unmoored?
That was beautifully written. It's hard to know what you want to do, but I think I've been framing it more from the persepctive of, "Is this going to help me succeed", and not "Do I like this more often than not", and then I get frustrated when I'm neither doing well nor enjoying the thing. What kinds of books and content do you consume? Those were some great points and I'd love to know where you learned about some of what you said
@@jacobdreamsasmr thank you !! i'm glad it was insightful :) a lot of it comes from my experience with mindfulness and meditation practices, but I also read a lot of philosophy which you might find interesting! i suggest looking into existentialism, i'd recommend: Jean Paul Sartre, Simone de Beauvoir, Guy Debord, Søren Kierkegaard, Albert Camus, Max Stirner, and Edmund Husserl ( + honorable mentions to Hegel and Marx who were not existentialists but you might find interesting! ) for psychology based reading, i'd recommend: everything by Gabor Mate, 'A clinical introduction to Lacanian psychoanalysis' by Bruce Finks, 'How to Change Your Mind' by Michael Pollan, and 'Anti-Oedipus' by B+G (very difficult book, mostly philosophy but uses a lot of psychoanalysis) and also strongly suggest you stay away from jordan peterson. they don't fit neatly into a category but other authors you might like include Mark Fisher, David Graeber, Terrence McKenna, and Howard Zinn lmk if you'd like a recommendation on something specific :) hope this helps
@@TheJtPv I think I'm gonna have to start with a book you recommended, thank you so much for taking the time to write that all out. I really appreciate it
Beating yourself up for how your mind works is not helpful. Better to observe your mind and learn how it works and be able to be mindful and accepting of its ways. To learn that is much more helpful than to for example decide exactly what you want, setting goals or becoming disciplined. Strange how that works, but it does.
hey i think i’ve felt like you do in the past, and the advice i could give you is to talk to a therapist that can help you deep dive in your believes of what happiness is and the reason why you feel that the day you achieve every single goal you have, is the day you’ll be a full and happy human being. i think we are all consumed by the way that the world works, and expectations of success, productivity and life styles that look so good from the outside. but what happens is that none of that will ever make us feel happy or complete if there is something missing inside our hearts, and that’s where therapy can help us. you may have something from your past that has grown this idea of you never being enough, and that’s what you may be looking for every single day. to prove yourself that you are enough and you can do whatever you propose to yourself. but the thing is not what you do, but how you do it. if it comes from feeling the need of proving for example, or if it comes from energy and passion for it. i hope you feel better!
Thank you for the advice pauline I appreciate it a lot. I've been going to therapy for a couple of years now, but I think what you said about tying my happiness to outcomes is true, and I'm probably gonna bring it up this week cuz you put it on my mind
We are meant to try millions of things, it has been engrained in us that we must pick on major, one career and that’s why so many people are unhappy. Never feel confined to one identity. It has helped me to try a bunch of new things and not get bored day to day. I love this quote “ life is a great big canvas, throw all the paint on it you can.” Thanks for posting such a realistic and raw video!!! 🤍
feel the same way and don’t know what to do, I got my associates in psych but I’m unsure if I want to continue in that field, just need some guidance but feel like no one around me understands
From my experience the best way to find out if you like something is go try it for a bit. I've had a bunch of activities I thought I'd love that I hated when I actually tried them, and others I had no expectations for that I ended up liking a lot
I saw a quote the other day that said, don't worry about making the 'right' choice, but make the choice right for you. When I say it changed my life... pretty bizarre that it came from Tiktok of all places
Jacob, life is whatever you want to make of it. I just turned 18 so I don’t have much experience however I can speak for my dad. He started out getting a bachelor or music and then a bachelor of education. Eventually went back to school and got a masters in business and now makes multi million dollars of year with his company. The point I’m making is it took him 12 years of university before he figured out what he wanted to do. You have time
“When you get better at this, then you’ll feel good about yourself” swap the narrative to “when I feel better about myself, then I’ll get good at this”. I agree with your girlfriends advice to just accept who you are. Its okay to have fleeting passions because its all apart of self discovery. Not every artist wants to paint all the time and not every singer wants to sing all the time
At 23 I don’t think you’re supposed to know exactly what you should be doing. Now is when you should explore what you like or what you want. There may be things you’re good at but…do they make you happy? What do you enjoy? You’re obviously good at self analysis but you kick yourself when you’re down too. Everyone has a different timeline. You may fall into something you like through someone else. Breathe Jacob! It’s ok to feel confused or frustrated. I do know having a relationship while you’re trying to “find yourself” is very hard because you’re trying to please someone else at the same time. Been there!☮️
Those are all great points, I honestly think I need to be a bit more patient about the things I'm trying, too. And you're right, I might end up finding something cool without expecting it at all. You are so insightful bruh thank you again for sharing
As humans we are bound to change. Influenced and pushed one way and the other by society but also by our emotions and feelings. It is not a bad thing to have drastic changes in our lives or in our emotions. Also the world says we have to be one thing but you don't have to be one thing, you don't have to pick a passion or interest but you are created uniquely so don't try to curate yourself. I know you mentioned your spirituality and I pray God will show you your purpose because that is a constant we can hold onto in the face of adversity so please hold onto the Lord for He never changes ❤
I Think we all have that kind of periodes, some of Them are just so Long… that we feel it Will never end. I have a good life, with family and all I need, but sometimes that is hard and diffecult to. You are a very handsome guy ☺️ Im glad you have a girlfriend who is in balance, that is a good support. My best advice is Just do what you feel to do, maybe more than one of your toughts is perfekt for you. Or take a Long vacation and be Good to yourself. I am lot alike you and have the same kind of mind - if you are pushing and pushing yourself, you end up beeing very tired. And bring more stressed and depressed. Hope you are doing better soon 🥰🙏🏼🌸 I’m from Denmark, hope you understand my writing 😅
That was all very well said, and what you said about those kinds of periods feeling like they'll never end is true. But it's funny because every time I get through them, I realize how much better they make my life because I truly appreciate my better days. Thank you so much for watching, and from all the way in Denmark that is so so cool
I am going into my 20s and would say I relate with many things you say, props to you for sharing your thoughts with us as I'm sure it can be difficult, I would recommend reading the Bible/turning to God if you seek a better life. Reading it can maybe pull you closer to God and even can teach good life lessons
The thing you said about looking for solutions for problems instead of solving them is big for me. It really is just forcing yourself to do things you don't want to do sometimes
It's one of those things you hate to hear people say, but making yourself do those things that help, even if it's only for a few minutes, is such a quick fix
It’s not everyday you hear cursing in asmr😝 on. Serious note I know how you feel. Life is so strange. Just keep on pushing through and you’re going to find your way love I promise
Its brave to ask for help, as I feel this is very common. I have dealt with this, and have flipped to the complete other side. Now, I have an unwavered vision for what I want to achieve, bring to the world, something I want to do even if I dont get paid for it. From listening, it honestly sounds like: 1) Truly sit in rest, meditate, trust that thr answer will come. 2) Truly try to believe that those Invasive, negative thoughts are not coming from YOU. 2.A) Your mind does NOT work in tandem with your soul/spirit UNLESS you train it/reprogram it to work in your favor. Honestly, it sounds like youre on the right track. Awareness and perseverance is important, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE remember, that EVERYTHING you want to manifest, know about what you TRULY want, starts from within. If you literally didnt need money to survive, and needed to choose a path that will satisfy you mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. THIS TAKES TIME. REST/LISTENING TO YOUR HIGHER SELF IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. Do not let Invasive (yes I said invasive, as..real talk here.. spiritual warfare is real asf) Try to really really get out of the logical mind, and tune into yourself. You can look at "ways to get rich" or "top ways to..." but you will just waste your time if you dont follow your intuition. Gonna be real here, I think your connection to your intuition is extremely weak, which is okay, but it will only help you to build it. ❤🤍 Trust that the universe, God, a Higher power, your higher self, your intuition, will guide you. Self help will trick your mind into thinking youre doing something or taking action, and thats also a trap. Trying to find the answers in OTHER PEOPLES RESULTS FOR THEOR LIVES will not help you entirely find YOUR UNIQUE path. Yes, you can get intuitive tips from self help and APPLY it to what youre doing, but youre not a LEADER in your own life if you look anywhere outside your self/spirit for archetypal answers like life purposes and destiny I hope this helps anyone i any way , and Its all coming from love and experience. 💞
We are all spiritual beings ⚜️ whether we are tapped into it, or being swayed unknowingly which is why everything in the physical will look good, be perfect, but your soul is crying out for help, attention, cleaning, balancing
That was super interesting to read, and I think you're right that it's wrong of me to look for myself in other people's lives. I've done it for so long that it's hard for me to think of any other way of going about it, but you gave me some good ideas to start w. Thanks for sharing!
@@jacobdreamsasmr Of course man, I'm glad I could share! No one is ever alone in these seasons, even when it feels like it. You definitely got this, Jacob! 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽
I totally can understand the obsession with self help content. I am no stranger to self improvement TH-cam. It's weird. I find myself thinking that by watching the videos, my life will somehow getting better, when in reality, it won't because what works for one person, won't work for everyone.
Exactly bruh. I honestly can't think of a self-help video or book in the last 6 months that has had a net positive affect on me. They really only stress me out rn
what did you like as a child? what were you good at? how can you translate that into something a career? if that’s what you want. at some point you realize you have to decide and no one will save you. you have to parent yourself and keep moving forward.
6:40 i am 21, i don't know what should i do, i am in engineering university but after 4 years, i still don't know why i'm here The thing is maybe you don't know what you truly want but if you stay at your position, you will never find it out, you have to do things and maybe one day you will be able to enjoy what you like and then, have a life purpose that's what i am saying to myself, and one day, i hope i will accomplished being in the "right place"
You know the existential crisis is going hard when you decided to shop your hair off. HAHAH is just a joke, I remember that years ago my sister cut her really short when she was on therapy, now she is better and wants it long.
Something that helped me was my history teacher in high school telling our class that “experts” in a field shouldn’t heavily influence what you choose to do with your life. For example, doctors used to recommend parents to put their newborn babies to sleep on their stomachs. Or doctors used to recommended smoking. Obviously this thinking was flawed but the majority of the population ignored their own logic to follow the logic of “the experts.”Experts only know the extent of what humanity as a whole has reached together. Because no scientific theory or law can be proven by one person, so letting a single person have a greater influence in your life than YOU do is ignorant. But that’s what we’re brainwashed to do as kids. So when you’re taught in school as a little kid, for example, that Gorge Washington had wooden teeth, it’s easier for you to agree and move on rather than truly think about what you’re being told. You know deep down what is best for you, no stranger on the internet understands the experiences you’ve had or have not had. It’s a very good thing that you feel motivated to do something, and that you want more substance in your life. But spending more time worrying rather than doing what you want to do will make you revert into the opposite direction of where you want to go. Discipline is a very good trait, but it’s learned over time, so having patience with yourself will help you feel less frustrated. I’m currently finishing up my second year in college, I’m on the premed track and when I think of all the classes, all the tests, all the studying ahead of me I literally try and psych myself into doing something easier. But nobody but yourself will get in your own way. Nothing can truly stop you when you set your mind on something. If you fail, it’s ok, because it doesn’t matter how many times you fail, but rather how hard you worked to get where you wanna go. Even if you don’t know what you wanna do, it’s ok. Life is so much bigger than ourselves, and when we get stuck in these depressive moments we forget how beautiful life can be. If you think you should travel, try a new career, live in the forest just do it. Don’t let your worries stop you from doing what will truly make you happy. I believe in a higher power, and that God only wants to see us prosper. Take everything as a lesson. Ik I’m ranting a lot rn, but I’ve recently learned to appreciate everything happening in my life. Last September, a week before my birthday I got fired from a really good job. The day after my birthday I got in a car accident and totaled my car. I had an exam the day of my accident and failed it. A month later my anxiety got so bad that I physically couldn’t force myself to go to class, causing me to skip an exam and fail it. Each of these things taught me a lesson. When you’re at your lowest, having people there for you will help u realize how loved and appreciated you are. That no event or thing that happens to you will define you for the rest of your life. We can always change and be better. Having faith that things will turn out how they’re meant to be sets you free from anxiety. The last thing imma say is more spiritual, but I prayed by following this verse and I saw my expectations for my life change, helping me loose the anxiety I had of living up to the person I thought I wanted myself to be: “ Do not worry about anything, but pray and ask God for everything you need, always giving thanks. And God’s peace, which is so great we cannot understand it, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7 NCV).” Thank you for this video and sharing how you’ve been feeling.
That was such an amazing comment, I just read the whole thing twice. And you are right in so many ways I don't even know where to start. I think what interested me most is the idea of believing in a higher power, as opposed to a person or idea I see being promoted by people. I've thought a bit more about religion lately, and the idea of leaning on a larger construct than myself and having something to fall back on. I have this notion that I have to create my entire destiny, and it puts a lot of pressure on me and almost paralyzes me at times
The only thing I can say, is that any choice involving future possibilities/opportunities/choices, has the same worth than any other choice : None of them have guaranteed benefits, as you will never know what they will create until you actually make them. Considering that every choice has the same worth, and is always only a bet, start to make the bets according to the games you really want to play. If it's a different one each day for 8 weeks, then fine. At least you'll have started dozens of projects, tried a bunch of new things, and made a lot of small changes. All those things (that will be seen like a mess, and will make you feel like the most indecisive person ever) will help you identify what you like the most for now. Some of those will become new habits, some of those will become new centers of interest, and some of those will become new solutions that you use in the future when you need some change. Truth is, Jacob, you'll always need some changes. You'll always need to let go of some things, and start new ones. Because you'll always need to adapt to how your life, your goals, your dreams, your abilities, your fears, your troubles, will change, and act accordingly. Adaptation is key. Change is inevitable. Embrace the mess, become the mess, and pierce through it. As you will never lose who you truly are, nor what you are good for. But the only way to know what fulfill you the most, is to try a bunch of things that you're already considering. You'll know, soon after the beginning of the process, if how it impacts your life is really worth the result.
That was really well said, thank you for sharing. I think you captured the long-term benefits of just trying things super well. And you're right, we have no idea what is going to come out of the things we are considering doing. I have a tendency to project myself far ahead into the future and convince myself that I know how an endeavor will turn out, and I'm almost always wrong. I was literally just talking w my best friend about how infrequently reality matches our expectations
sounds like your approach is too external. the things you want to do, things you have to do, everything is external. maybe taking a pause and figuring out things that matter to you, your strengths, weaknesses, areas of opportunity you may want to prioritize. maybe that could help align what is important to what you want to do, even if thats not something long term, but it could give you a clearer sense of direction and purpose to your present moment. nice video, thanks for sharing, i resonated with the part about being too tough on yourself. trying to work on that too :)
Hello :) I want to start off by saying thank you so much for your courage to reveal your struggles. I couldn’t stop nodding my head on the feelings and experiences that you’re going through. I don’t think there’s THE answer to make sense of what you want and need right now. This is gonna be kooky but what helps provides me direction and security, as I feel what you’re feeling as if we’re living the same experience, is I put my identity in Jesus Christ. A God who wants these burdens on Him, a God who already truly has this figured out for me and you. Stop trying to figure everything out right now and getting mad at yourself for trying out life in a way that’s gonna bring you fulfillment. Give yourself grace, that is a undeserving feeling of mercy and compassion. The fact that you’re so aware of this and you’re so willing to reflect on these things shows how much of a step closer you are then in the past when you just completely gave up and didn’t at least attempt to say “hey I’m struggling”. I have a feeling you’re a hard person to give advice too because you’re so wise and intelligent yourself. Let those be your tools not the things that keep you bounded. Get your mind in order. Align your thoughts with ways that are gonna help you, not break you. Don’t take everything to heart. Let it flood to your mind, make it obey Christ by rooting it in love and truth, and then decide if it’s worth taking to heart. You can do this. I know you know this but truly live like you can do it. On bad days. On good days. On reckless days. On failing days. All days. Don’t live for you and stop focusing on the worldly way of self love and how to figure yourself out. It’s not easier being with Christ but it’s safer and true life. I can truly put my life on it. I will be prayer for you. Christ loves you so much. ❤
Thank you so much for commenting, the phrase, "let those be your tools, not the things that keep you bounded" really, really hit me. I've gotten so many cool pieces of advice on this video and yours was definitely some of the most impactful. Thank you!
2 Everything is so meaningless. The Teacher says that it is all a waste of time![a] 3 Do people really gain anything from all the hard work they do in this life[b]? Things Never Change 4 People live and people die, but the earth continues forever. 5 The sun rises and the sun goes down, and then it hurries to rise again in the same place. 6 The wind blows to the south, and the wind blows to the north. The wind blows around and around. Then it turns and blows back to the place it began. 7 All rivers flow again and again to the same place. They all flow to the sea, but the sea never becomes full. 8 Words cannot fully explain things,[c] but people continue speaking.[d] Words come again and again to our ears, but our ears don’t become full. And our eyes don’t become full of what we see. Nothing Is New 9 All things continue the way they have been since the beginning. The same things will be done that have always been done. There is nothing new in this life. 10 Someone might say, “Look, this is new,” but that thing has always been here. It was here before we were. 11 People don’t remember what happened long ago. In the future, they will not remember what is happening now. And later, other people will not remember what the people before them did. Ecc 1
Have you tried delayed gratification? I used to feel like you, but figured out I built a dopamine tolerance from engaging in super exciting activities. Might not work for you so take with a grain of salt
Talking seriously, maybe u have bipolar disorder. Those opposite bursts of depression vs complete ambition really do resonate w a friend that is diagnosed. But idk, could be just anxiety too, i recommend maybe seeking a psychiatrist if it is becoming too overwhelming.
I know this will require a lot more in depth thought from you specifically to be beneficial but I can honestly say Jesus has saved my life and gave it purpose. I once had the perspective you had and he answers all of it. You have such an important life and you have so much meaning! Jesus loves you and has died for you. His arms are open wide for you to come to him. All life is precious and meaningful, including yours!
I said this in another comment but I've definitely thought more about religion and how it could be a part of my life lately. If you don't mind me asking, when you say Jesus answers all of it, what do you mean exactly?
Sometimes life isn’t about finding “the big forest” but just enjoying the trees. Relishing as many small or large passions come and go without worrying about their longevity or your success in them.
That go hard I’m taking it
@@brqzxy☹Also "happy" moments last the shortest and are very few and in between most of your life when you think about it in a practical perspective. I usually will think people have it better than me. As an example, they may have a partner, children, work, and leisure (Mind you that not everything is as good as it seems on the outside). But then I realize there will always be people that are doing worse than me. This is why I love being busy as much as possible to forget about my existence even though that's not the right cure to my ailment. I've suffered from social anxiety and depression my entire life, and dealing with others is my personal hell, but at the same time I deeply depend on those around me emotionally. If it wasn't for my close relatives, I'd be broken as a human being.😞
That’s just your perspective
@@ProBallerJordan3 no shit 🤙
Enjoying the "trees" is for low intelligent beings or unless your high &drunk. Enjoying the trees isn't an option, rather you need to know why and how the trees are there
bro is a model
Fr bruh
the waking up and not doing anything you said you were going to do last night is so real, matter fact i just dont wanna do anything at all
Same here. I have no purpose whatsoever...😶
Man you spoke out of my soul. Nearly everything you said resonated with me. It is nice to know that I am not the only one who sometimes feels lost in his own life. Sadly I did not find any way out of it yet. But like you said someday we will hopefully figure it out.
Thanks for this video ❤️
And we will, I'm terrible at being patient but I think that's an overlooked component to all this. Keep working on stuff but give yourself more time to get there is how I've been trying to think about it
I can totally relate when I was your age - I’m about to be 33. And life’s directive ends up being not as serious in some aspects as taking care of your health, nourishing family dynamics as an adult, and making sure you’re fueling yourself well from within. You have time, the journey to the path is what should be a main focus! You got this!
That was actually super comforting to hear, thank you for sharing. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just taking myself way too seriously
you are so real for this. I’m 25 and I feel the exact same way. Sometimes I look around at everyone absolutely baffled about the fact we just walk around and live life and for what? like what are we all doing? but I guess because there’s no definite answer to that question we just have to make our own answers, and that requires a lot of experimentation. So, the moral of the story is carry on trying things, see what makes you feel like life is worth living and keep doing that! we are all in this together 🤝
The fact that u are here just breathing eating and sleep is enough! Dont beat urself up about having to strip shit back. Back to basics amen
Im going through a life crisis myself at 19, I also can’t stick to things and when I do, somehow it never works out. Only advice I can give is to honestly keep going. I like to live by the motto “it is what it is” There have been times where I stayed in bed for a whole week and no one cared, they’ll just label you as “lazy” my current family environment is toxic asf so it really doesn’t help. Just keep going. I try not to plan as much cause then I’ll only end up ashamed and disappointed. Just know you’re not alone man. And sometimes overthinking or stressing is just a sign that you really care. It’s not selfish to want more out of life.
I appreciate that, and you're not alone in how you feel either. I try to remind myself just to "show up" every day and if I do it enough days in a row, I'll be somewhere better eventually
I just wanna say that I think the content you’re making is dope, and important, and I watch for far more than the whispering! I laughed when you said that. I often feel that way too, “psychotic” for thinking and feeling so deeply about shit that others don’t seem to care about at all. It is isolating.
So yea bro. I see you and I feel you. The vids are hitting for me in the exact way that I imagine you hope(d) they would, and I can’t be the only one! There are a few others in the comments already. I’m sure it requires some degree of courage to be this vulnerable about such matters, and I just wanna let you know we appreciate it! Keep it up dude.
You are a bright guy and absolutely possess the necessary resources to find your way. As untrue as it always fucking feels, I really do think this is all part of the process. So let us enjoy it as best we can, and give ourselves some compassion god damnit. What else can we do 😆🤷♀️ (seriously what can we do haha) (please help)
See ya pal 😇👋
I appreciate your kind words bruh that means a lot, thank you for watching! It's so cool to know you enjoy the content too, even if whispering is a big part of it
this entire video is so real, i just withdrew from my dream university right before i turned 18 cause i was feeling so hopelessly unmotivated. and i’ve been back in my hometown on a “gap semester” bouncing from potential career paths and finding fatal flaws in the prospects of each of them until there’s literally no more left. also the thing about reading constantly and not having social media is so accurate too 😭😭 i’ve been reading depressing existential literary fiction books to try and find someone who gets it as if it’s my day job
I totally relate, but you've got so much time bruh. I think all you can do is keep trying things, and investing in the things you know you like.
What's the most recent book you read, I'm looking for a new one
the way you‘re just beeing raw and honest is very grounding to me
maybe I can recommend a book
its a novel
it‘s called the midnight library and it covers exactly that topic
talks about the choices we all can take in life and puts it a little in perspective, found it so helfpul:))
I actually read that book last year and really enjoyed it. It's crazy how you can literally read a whole book that's exactly describing my feelings, and still have them all these months later. I think I'm learning that these kinds of changes take a long time to settle in.
Do you have any other book recs?
the existential crisis i’m going thru rn rlly appreciates this video ❤
Keep following your passions bro, no matter how crazy it seems to others , just find your passions in order to find your purpose. One of my favorite quotes . And work hard brotha . God bless.
That's a great quote, thanks for sharing mitchell, I appreciate it bruh
Yeah man, I have had these exact feelings! There are areas in my life I’ve acknowledged as being consistencies (my relationships, where I’m currently living, physical activity) and I do a check in with myself of 1) am I happy/ content with the current state and 2) if I am not, what kind of minor changes can be made to help ensure I am happy with these situations. I refrain from doing anything major in those areas until I’ve consistently thought about it for months and have a solid plan. I know myself enough to know I am sporadic and switch interests frequently (especially with creative endeavors), so I give my myself the grace to explore different interests and revisit that interest when it is sparked again. I appreciate that experience in the moment and am not super hard on myself. Having a balance between those a few concrete pieces of my life at that time and exploring interests at what ever rate I feel is important to keep me in check. I think it’s important to find those concrete things, even if they aren’t major life factors, to anchor yourself to so you’re able to explore a variety of things.
I think the part where you mentioned knowing yourself is super important. And having a mix of stability and curiosity is great, I'm trying to work on that as well. Thanks for commenting and watching
I love these videos
As a university student i’m currently in the same situation…im constantly stressing and overthinking if i made the right choice because I have bigger plans for the future and university is not quiet compatible and in general I feel lost and confused as to whats best for me and what i should do in this case,so i understand your points Jacob they’re absolutely valid
I've gone through phases like this and what helped me honestly is just stopping trying so hard to find a direction or passion. Try not to think about it so much, and focus on what you feel like enjoying that particular day. Might be different every day but that's okay. Something might eventually stick. But if not, you're still enjoying your life day to day and that's all that really matters.
I like the simplicity of that, thank you for sharing!
Bro is so majestic 🤝🏻
Ps: good vid
I'm only 14, but I've had this exact problem for a very long time and I think I've finally found a solution.
I thought about it for a long time and I realized that what made me feel so hopeless, frustrated and I would say almost depressed was the need to control everything in my life, my emotions, thoughts, everything I did I analyzed endlessly and I judged myself all the time. Because if you keep forcing yourself into something, you almost lose your identity and you no longer know what you enjoy and why you actually do the things you force yourself into. I try to enjoy the little moments, do what I feel like doing, spend time with my family, work on my confidence and share my thoughts on TH-cam. I believe you will figure it out bro, keep going because I think you are on the right track.
That's very introspective for 14 bruh, you're so cool. I definitely struggle with control, but also expectations. And to your point, it leads to me doing stuff that I don't actually know why I'm doing
I have never found anyone who can explain the root of many of my struggles this well. 'Chasing the proverbial dragon'. One hobby, habir, job, thought that will take my stress away and have me lead my ideal meaningful life. I am always convinced everyone knows what this thing is except for me.
And it turns out almost nobody knows what that thing is. I think some people are good at pretending, and others are good at accepting it. Unfortunately I am good at neither rn
@@jacobdreamsasmr and who can blame you? With all that content of people who supposedly have 'found' the dragon. On we spin in this illusion of fulfillment. Let's take enough with love, coffee, books and good conversation.
Going through the same thing. I just turned 21 and I can imagine myself doing soo many different things that
I hinder myself from doing absolutely anything. Also, the fact that everything is so expensive now a days. I can’t even experiment to see what I like because it comes with a bigger price to pay…literally.
I've been exactly the same for years. I really only started doing more in the past couple months, my advice would be to pick the thing that's easiest to do and go try it that day. Make it super low stakes, it doesn't have to mean anything at all. As soon as I tried one of the ideas I had, the others became much easier to do. It really just gave me the confidence to actually do the thing, and all of a sudden I didn't care so much about the outcome
Last year I was in a similar place im 21 now and live right next to Reno and relate a lot to your situation and I used self hate as a way to put off things i wanted to accomplish but then I fell in love with creating and absorbing art and now i’m trying to do everything related to art whether it’s drawing, photography, painting, or filmmaking. It’s just all about taking life in. Last year I didn’t think at my core i’d change and was looking for answers just like you and art just happened to open my mind a bit and give me hope.
That's sick bruh I'm happy for you. What kind of art are you most into at the moment? I've been thinking about reading poems, which is so random but I like the simplicity of them
I relate a lot about waking up in the morning without knowing what the actual fuck I'm going to do, what I have done and what I'm doing in my life. There's no solution yet, but the last couple weeks I've tried to just sit quietly and figure that, and talking about it with my friends just like you do with your girlfriend, I think that has helped and letted me discover that what I am doing is actual progress. I really hope everything is going to be fine to both you and me in the future. Have a good day my friend.
A little bit of progress every week really adds up over time. Thanks for watching!
can really relate man wow nice video dawg
Just remember: the answer is not a hut in the woods. live your life the way you want and you feel is right. Do things that you love and make you happy and you’ll turn out great. Just keep going. 😊
I am a younger teen. I got a leg injury after a long summer training for an upcoming cross-country season. It felt like the first time I was fully committed and gained a high level of identity in my life. I still haven't been able to fully run at the same ability after months, and I feel like I have lost my love for the sport. I also got a shoulder injury around the same time which prevented me from working out, leaving me in a drought of time in which I just watched my progress in all my most committed hobbies disappear. I think movies act as a similar outlet as fiction books for you. I would also like to start reading. I deleted Instagram a while back and my friends have been encouraging the deletion of social media even going as far as youtube which I can't perceive myself giving up.
I'm sorry to hear that, all I'd say is that time spent training wasn't wasted. Not only did you cultivate good habits, but you showed yourself how far you can take something when you commit. So next time you're doubting yourself, think about what you were able to accomplish in just one summer.
And if you're looking for fiction book recs I'd suggest Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow, or the outsiders
Hey Jacob a lot of the stuff you touched on I used to relate to a lot and still do at times, something that helps me honestly is to lean on the spiritual side. I feel like it can help ground yourself and self reflect on what you really want with your life. I used to struggle with like an identity crisis of who am I ? But whenever I lean on my spirituality it helps me regain passion and confidence in what I really want to do with my life.
When you say lean on your spirituality what exactly does that entail? Just curious
@@jacobdreamsasmr That’s a good question. For me personally when I say lean on your spirituality I mean more on the religious side of things. For an example when I felt the most lost in identity of what I wanted in life. I felt like I had no passion and drive for anything I had more bad days than good and was often looking for substances to make life feel worth living. But as time went on I slowly went back to I guess what you would say would be my roots? In a way? I was born and raised Catholic but didn’t really follow the religion, but after high school I more identified as just Christian but still didn’t really follow the life of a Christian that knew God and Jesus well. But when I was at my lowest point in life I gave it a shot to really just surrendered myself to God and just worked on building a relationship with Jesus by just talking to him like a friend of what was on my mind and what I needed help with,etc. From doing that I noticed that I started to feel more at peace, my anxiety and depression slowly dwindled away and I started to get new ideas and passions in life that felt right and good to peruse. I still struggle with anxiety and depression from time to time and sometimes I have trouble making big decisions in my life, like is this right or is this wrong. But I now feel like I have a healthy way to cope with these things by seeking guidance to a higher power who knows and loves you, and that wants the best version of yourself to shine through. I hope this can somewhat connect and help you out, like it did me.
@@LukeJJ that was super well written, I think the idea of "surrendering" is what gets me hung up, I'm not really sure what tha tlooks like, so it's good to hear somebody else's experience
Okay well first, using negativity as your motivation almost never results in happiness.. for *anyone* despite how far they may or may not get. I think the want to have/do so many things is actually the want to try/have so many different experiences. what worked for me was going back to what I loved to do as a liiiittle kid. sometimes the world also influences your dreams.. like it’s dreaming through you or smth 😭 YOU sound like a person who needs to quiet your mind and really get back to the basics of self care, mindfulness, and just understand yourself a whole lot better. There's never gonna be this one thing or person that'll give you the magic key you've been missing. An epiphany? maybe, but those happen like all the time 😭 YOU GOTTA LIVE. Having specific expectations is a good way to disappoint yourself but having outlined goals can help you stay motivated & on track! I don’t know if you’re super spiritual but maybe even starting there will help!
anyways, TLDR ; fuck it we ball fr 🧘♀️
I think getting back to the basics is a great idea, you are completely right. I always opt for complexity cuz I think it means I'll get more in the end, but really all I get is more stress. Goals vs expectations is also a good point, you kinda ate this comment up bruh I can't lie
@@jacobdreamsasmr I like to drop a little wisdom every now and then.. not too much 🥱
lol i’m kidding but thank you sm, i hope you just continue to get happier! 🧚♀️
Honestly I’m 27 and I have nothing figured out. My luck in life has been shit from dating, friends, work/ money for years. It was never long until something good came to an end, I lost a tattoo apprenticeship, left an abusive relationship that took all my money, got depressed and when I finally tried to get out of it I adjust some medication that ended up making me sick for 2 yrs. I started recording speed videos but stopped, I’ve tried tattooing but stopped, dropped out of college twice, have been fired from a lot of jobs, been stabbed in the back by every friend, started painting pet portraits but stopped. I finally had to wipe the slate clean and start over. I have ADD so it’s no uncommon for me to start things and not finish them. Trust me you’re not the only one dealing with this I can guarantee you majority of people deal with this stuff. Don’t be too hard on yourself
Thank you so much for sharing, to hear you encouraging me despite having gone through what you’ve experienced is so kind. I can’t imagine what it’s been like to have lived through what you have, but I will say 27 is so young and you must have so much life experience and resilience already. I’d like to think that’s gonna pay off someday soon. Thank you for again for reaching out
I feel that . Try to remind yourself to not determine your value by external things . It’s easier said than done . be kinder to yourself . But as being in my 20s as well I tend to get into this mindset , it’s difficult . Know ur not alone In feeling this way .
Yeah it can be overwhelming, I was definitely going through the same things recently. I found that identifying your core values is important. Once you have a better idea of who you are at a core level, your life choices become a little easier 🫶 also go easy on yourself if you need a while to figure out what you like - we’re still young on the grand scheme of things
I think focusing on your values is a great point and super easy to overlook. I always look for more complicated solutions but I have moments where I realize that just living in line with my "values" might really be the best way to go about it
Also, regarding the perfectionism w habits, I think its something most of us struggle with. As one myself, I used to do the same thing, beating yourself up and using self hatred as a boost to better myself. But in therapy I learned to be more flexible w myself, cuz even if u think about it, beating yourself up ends up being counterproductive, cuz then u really dont wanna continue anything at all, which is worse than skipping a day or so. Ik its difficult, but saying "I just lack that perspective" and stuff, is putting a label on urself, and subconsciously ull be integrating it slowly and self sabotaging. Even if its hard, take every opportunity of it as practice, remind urself of ur humanness and if u feel overwhelmed take on anxiety coping tools like the 54321 method and such, and try again the next day. U can do it 🫂
I think your point about flexibility is very pertinent to me, I definitely want to make that more of a focus the rest of this year. My rigidity is what’s causing a lot of my anxiety. Thank you for the insight!
This is how I felt in my early 20s and all through college, therapy has helped my mind relax and I had to start taking Zoloft which has changed my life for the better. It sounds like you have some mental health struggles you can work through with cognitive behavioral therapy. my therapist told me you can be happy doing many different careers, don’t fixated on there is only one perfect career. You just need to think of the happiest moments in your life, why they made you happy and try to have some of those things in your job.
I've actually been going to therapy for a couple years now and it's been the best thing i've done for myself by a mile. But you're right, my therapist compares it to investing myself in multiple baskets instead of just one. Like stocks
The description is so real
Always changing on what you want to do in life is so real to me because it happens a lot with me one day I wanna be a barber and around 1-2 months later I wanna flip shoes it’s honestly so hard it’s always something new and my parents don’t even think I can stick with something bc I always want something else and can’t stick with something so now I have to pay for almost everything
I think that’s the cost of figuring out what you wanna do. But I also think it’s good that you’re experimenting. I used to be so hard on myself when I’d give up on a hobby or endeavor, but the quicker I moved on and tried something else, not only did it get easier and more exciting to try stuff, I also became less hard on myself. So keep trying stuff out bruh
Long comment and I'm only on minute 12 but: I think you're so worried about not living life to the fullest (that's why you don't want to "be complacent" or "not be productive") that you're burning yourself out. And there's a part of you that thinks using your "self hate" as fuel is necessary for that not to happen. That's not true. You want to be better at something to feel good about yourself BECAUSE your baseline is not feeling good enough. That's why when you become good at something and that becomes your new normal you start feeling lacking again. You weren't born feeling not good enough, something happened along the lines and you started feeling this way. Think about those experiences and heal them. Parts work therapy is amazing for this, if you want to know more about it I recommend the book "no bad parts" by Richard Schwartz. Discovering your path and being intentional is what leads you to have a good life. I think to discover what you want to do (not that you have to stick to one thing forever, but I get it, you want to find that Thing that is your purpose) you need to look for the "signs". For example in my case I am an architectural photographer (idk if that's the name for it lol) and when I discovered that I wanted to do that it felt like I was already in love with it since forever and I was just realizing it. Since I was a child I spent hours "reading" Batman comics JUST to look at the drawings of the buildings of Gotham lol and I spent hours looking at the tall buildings I could see from my window, and when I became a teenager and my parents went to buy me my first cell phone, I only wanted it for the camera to take pictures of beautiful buildings, being able to talk to my friends was not the priority. The "signs" were there. Think of the things you love and are passionate about consistently and not the things you love just when you're in the mood to do them or only when the circumstances are right. The things you've loved for a loooong time. Not the things that feel new and exciting. That's where your purpose resides, I think. When you discover it and stop being so harsh on yourself you'll feel the drive. You're getting sick of everything fast because you're doing it to not feel lost, not because of true passion. Healing wounds of "not feeling good enough" + finding your passion/purpose = having drive and feeling like you're living life to the fullest. You won't need to beat yourself up to go for the things you want, I promise.
this is comment is absolutely incredible, really insightful even tho im not the op haahhah that was an awesome read and i’ll be personally adding that book to my list
@@noagalapo6106 I'm so glad you liked it! Thank you!
That was so well written and hit me like a truck, thank you so much for sharing your insights. You completely nailed how I've been feeling. And hearing about how you found what you love to do lit me up even more. I think I'm starting to come around more and more on videos and stories, which is what I've always loved to do. I'm gonna try to lean into that more and see what happens. Thank you again for commenting, that was so great to read, I'm gonna share it with my gf too
@@jacobdreamsasmr I'm so happy to read that!!! Yay!!! I hope you find what you're looking for and feel good soon!!!
Not to be creepy, but you are literally so so so gorgeous. Like wow. I also loved this video cuz I relate 100%.
Hair looks good!
Thank you! I feel so much cleaner when it's out of my face bruh, not to mention it takes zero maintenance
Im 16 almost 17 im Getting older and older and i don’t know what i wanna do i don’t have passions my friends and people around me know exactly what they wanna do and they are very smart and im just not and i get what you mean by everyday you feel different and you don’t wanna make a better life for yourself too everything you said in this video i completely agree with you im so lost so i thank you for making this because i thought i was the only one
Thank you for sharing, I've got a couple quick things to say to what you just brought up
1. You are exactly where you're supposed to be. You are so young, you're not supposed to know what you want yet. All you need to be doing is trying stuff out. As long as you try, and put time into the things and people you enjoy, life will take you where you need to go, I promise
2. Nobody actually knows what they want, 100% of the time. Some people have a better idea than others, but we all have moments where we feel lost and confused. I would suggest not comparing yourself to those people. Which makes me a total hypocrite cuz I do it all the time. But I've just tried to take the approach that if I wake up every day and try to do things to move myself forward, and follow my values, then eventually things will become more clear
It's easy to get discouraged, and you will have those doubts for the rest of your life. But you'll also start to come into your own as you get older. You're gonna figure it all out, patience is your best friend. It's hard to sit around and wait, so get up and go do stuff in the meantime
I was in that same boat until I really made myself commit to one thing. In my case, it was moving to California to try to find a job in the entertainment industry. I figure that if I give it and myself a fair amount of time, I’ll either grow and become more successful or I’ll figure out what I don’t want to do and narrow down my prospective choices. Either way, it’s a good thing. Just remember that you have time!
Wishing you well in the industry!
That mindset of it working out either way is great and really what I'm trying to get to. And sometimes I even feel happy when I try something and it doesn't work because it makes me think I'm getting closer to something that will
Thank you
It seems like you are a person that tends to overthink things.
This also means that you are very self reflected and try to make your life as perfekt as possible.
I struggle with overthinking too. Personally, i try to view the bigger picture, zoom out. Often the small things that bother us become irrelevant when thinking this way.
Easier said than done tho xD
I felt the same way but then I started weaving baskets out of pine needles and it really fueld my mind and ignited something in my brain. Eventually something will come along and everything will click. Its okay (and inevitible) to be a bit confused/frustrated in the meantime but remind yourself to let go
That's so cool, do you have a website or somewhere I can look at pics of them?
idk if this will be particularly useful for you, but i wrote out some thoughts i had while listening. i hope maybe there's a thought here that might be helpful
the ego likes to insist that we develop thresholds which secure our self concept. we like to test ourselves to remind ourselves of who we are, and can feel lost if we fail. its important to remember that this is an illusion. you mention that you find yourself often "moving the goalpost" after you accomplish something because you're not the type of person to see the big picture. in reality, the prophylactic for this requires us to accept that the past and the future are fictions. there is only ever right now, the current moment. we like to delude ourselves by believing that we are a whole and complete identity grounded in a specific point in time, but the truth is we will only ever be "whole" or "complete" at the exact moment of our death when the totality of our actions are finalized. but until that point, we're only just bodies moving through space and time. you are alive, and the only person who can decide whether that's for better or worse is you, right now. so the next time you move the goalpost and feel dispirited, just remember that you don't need to see the "big picture", or look into the past, or think about the future. you just need to ask, "am I doing what I want to be doing right now, in this exact moment?" and if the answer is yes, what reason is there to feel lost and unmoored?
That was beautifully written. It's hard to know what you want to do, but I think I've been framing it more from the persepctive of, "Is this going to help me succeed", and not "Do I like this more often than not", and then I get frustrated when I'm neither doing well nor enjoying the thing.
What kinds of books and content do you consume? Those were some great points and I'd love to know where you learned about some of what you said
@@jacobdreamsasmr thank you !! i'm glad it was insightful :) a lot of it comes from my experience with mindfulness and meditation practices, but I also read a lot of philosophy which you might find interesting! i suggest looking into existentialism, i'd recommend: Jean Paul Sartre, Simone de Beauvoir, Guy Debord, Søren Kierkegaard, Albert Camus, Max Stirner, and Edmund Husserl ( + honorable mentions to Hegel and Marx who were not existentialists but you might find interesting! )
for psychology based reading, i'd recommend: everything by Gabor Mate, 'A clinical introduction to Lacanian psychoanalysis' by Bruce Finks, 'How to Change Your Mind' by Michael Pollan, and 'Anti-Oedipus' by B+G (very difficult book, mostly philosophy but uses a lot of psychoanalysis) and also strongly suggest you stay away from jordan peterson.
they don't fit neatly into a category but other authors you might like include Mark Fisher, David Graeber, Terrence McKenna, and Howard Zinn
lmk if you'd like a recommendation on something specific :) hope this helps
@@TheJtPv I think I'm gonna have to start with a book you recommended, thank you so much for taking the time to write that all out. I really appreciate it
Beating yourself up for how your mind works is not helpful. Better to observe your mind and learn how it works and be able to be mindful and accepting of its ways. To learn that is much more helpful than to for example decide exactly what you want, setting goals or becoming disciplined. Strange how that works, but it does.
Acceptance is my worst enemy but ironically I think that's proof that it's what I need to work on the most
I hope that you're forgiving yourself for feeling stuck and lost, because it's braver than denying it
In desiring something, you do not desire the object of your desire but desire itself.
hey
i think i’ve felt like you do in the past, and the advice i could give you is to talk to a therapist that can help you deep dive in your believes of what happiness is and the reason why you feel that the day you achieve every single goal you have, is the day you’ll be a full and happy human being.
i think we are all consumed by the way that the world works, and expectations of success, productivity and life styles that look so good from the outside. but what happens is that none of that will ever make us feel happy or complete if there is something missing inside our hearts, and that’s where therapy can help us.
you may have something from your past that has grown this idea of you never being enough, and that’s what you may be looking for every single day. to prove yourself that you are enough and you can do whatever you propose to yourself.
but the thing is not what you do, but how you do it. if it comes from feeling the need of proving for example, or if it comes from energy and passion for it.
i hope you feel better!
Thank you for the advice pauline I appreciate it a lot. I've been going to therapy for a couple of years now, but I think what you said about tying my happiness to outcomes is true, and I'm probably gonna bring it up this week cuz you put it on my mind
We are meant to try millions of things, it has been engrained in us that we must pick on major, one career and that’s why so many people are unhappy. Never feel confined to one identity. It has helped me to try a bunch of new things and not get bored day to day. I love this quote “ life is a great big canvas, throw all the paint on it you can.” Thanks for posting such a realistic and raw video!!! 🤍
That's a great quote, my therapist likens it to spreading your eggs into a bunch of baskets. Thank you for watching!
feel the same way and don’t know what to do, I got my associates in psych but I’m unsure if I want to continue in that field, just need some guidance but feel like no one around me understands
From my experience the best way to find out if you like something is go try it for a bit. I've had a bunch of activities I thought I'd love that I hated when I actually tried them, and others I had no expectations for that I ended up liking a lot
I saw a quote the other day that said, don't worry about making the 'right' choice, but make the choice right for you. When I say it changed my life... pretty bizarre that it came from Tiktok of all places
Can you expand on how it changed things for you? Just curious
Jacob, life is whatever you want to make of it. I just turned 18 so I don’t have much experience however I can speak for my dad. He started out getting a bachelor or music and then a bachelor of education. Eventually went back to school and got a masters in business and now makes multi million dollars of year with his company. The point I’m making is it took him 12 years of university before he figured out what he wanted to do. You have time
Yeah patience has been a big struggle for me. Trying to settle into the uncertainty is hard but I've noticed it gets a bit easier as I get older
“When you get better at this, then you’ll feel good about yourself” swap the narrative to “when I feel better about myself, then I’ll get good at this”. I agree with your girlfriends advice to just accept who you are. Its okay to have fleeting passions because its all apart of self discovery. Not every artist wants to paint all the time and not every singer wants to sing all the time
Great point. I’ve just gotten so used to associating progress w the ability to like myself and I think I’ve gotten it a bit backwards
😶🌫Please never stop speaking your mind. It's incredible to feel similar in so many ways with you!😶🌫
Thank you, I see you commenting on most of my vids and I really appreciate you watching bruh, it means a lot
@@jacobdreamsasmr I subscribed to all your notifications... That's why. I hope you're doing well.😊
At 23 I don’t think you’re supposed to know exactly what you should be doing. Now is when you should explore what you like or what you want. There may be things you’re good at but…do they make you happy? What do you enjoy? You’re obviously good at self analysis but you kick yourself when you’re down too. Everyone has a different timeline. You may fall into something you like through someone else. Breathe Jacob! It’s ok to feel confused or frustrated. I do know having a relationship while you’re trying to “find yourself” is very hard because you’re trying to please someone else at the same time. Been there!☮️
Those are all great points, I honestly think I need to be a bit more patient about the things I'm trying, too. And you're right, I might end up finding something cool without expecting it at all. You are so insightful bruh thank you again for sharing
As humans we are bound to change. Influenced and pushed one way and the other by society but also by our emotions and feelings. It is not a bad thing to have drastic changes in our lives or in our emotions. Also the world says we have to be one thing but you don't have to be one thing, you don't have to pick a passion or interest but you are created uniquely so don't try to curate yourself. I know you mentioned your spirituality and I pray God will show you your purpose because that is a constant we can hold onto in the face of adversity so please hold onto the Lord for He never changes ❤
I Think we all have that kind of periodes, some of Them are just so Long… that we feel it Will never end. I have a good life, with family and all I need, but sometimes that is hard and diffecult to.
You are a very handsome guy ☺️ Im glad you have a girlfriend who is in balance, that is a good support. My best advice is Just do what you feel to do, maybe more than one of your toughts is perfekt for you. Or take a Long vacation and be Good to yourself.
I am lot alike you and have the same kind of mind - if you are pushing and pushing yourself, you end up beeing very tired. And bring more stressed and depressed. Hope you are doing better soon 🥰🙏🏼🌸
I’m from Denmark, hope you understand my writing 😅
That was all very well said, and what you said about those kinds of periods feeling like they'll never end is true. But it's funny because every time I get through them, I realize how much better they make my life because I truly appreciate my better days. Thank you so much for watching, and from all the way in Denmark that is so so cool
Hi I’m around your age and feel the same, stuck. You’re not alone mate.
I am going into my 20s and would say I relate with many things you say, props to you for sharing your thoughts with us as I'm sure it can be difficult, I would recommend reading the Bible/turning to God if you seek a better life. Reading it can maybe pull you closer to God and even can teach good life lessons
The thing you said about looking for solutions for problems instead of solving them is big for me. It really is just forcing yourself to do things you don't want to do sometimes
It's one of those things you hate to hear people say, but making yourself do those things that help, even if it's only for a few minutes, is such a quick fix
It’s not everyday you hear cursing in asmr😝 on. Serious note I know how you feel. Life is so strange. Just keep on pushing through and you’re going to find your way love I promise
very off-topic & minor detail, but seeing another Rick Rubin enjoyer makes me happy
That book is top 3 for me, so many good ideas in there
Its brave to ask for help, as I feel this is very common. I have dealt with this, and have flipped to the complete other side. Now, I have an unwavered vision for what I want to achieve, bring to the world, something I want to do even if I dont get paid for it.
From listening, it honestly sounds like:
1) Truly sit in rest, meditate, trust that thr answer will come.
2) Truly try to believe that those Invasive, negative thoughts are not coming from YOU.
2.A) Your mind does NOT work in tandem with your soul/spirit UNLESS you train it/reprogram it to work in your favor.
Honestly, it sounds like youre on the right track. Awareness and perseverance is important, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE remember, that EVERYTHING you want to manifest, know about what you TRULY want, starts from within.
If you literally didnt need money to survive, and needed to choose a path that will satisfy you mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
THIS TAKES TIME. REST/LISTENING TO YOUR HIGHER SELF IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. Do not let Invasive (yes I said invasive, as..real talk here.. spiritual warfare is real asf)
Try to really really get out of the logical mind, and tune into yourself. You can look at "ways to get rich" or "top ways to..." but you will just waste your time if you dont follow your intuition.
Gonna be real here, I think your connection to your intuition is extremely weak, which is okay, but it will only help you to build it. ❤🤍
Trust that the universe, God, a Higher power, your higher self, your intuition, will guide you.
Self help will trick your mind into thinking youre doing something or taking action, and thats also a trap. Trying to find the answers in OTHER PEOPLES RESULTS FOR THEOR LIVES will not help you entirely find YOUR UNIQUE path.
Yes, you can get intuitive tips from self help and APPLY it to what youre doing, but youre not a LEADER in your own life if you look anywhere outside your self/spirit for archetypal answers like life purposes and destiny
I hope this helps anyone i any way , and Its all coming from love and experience.
💞
We are all spiritual beings ⚜️ whether we are tapped into it, or being swayed unknowingly which is why everything in the physical will look good, be perfect, but your soul is crying out for help, attention, cleaning, balancing
That was super interesting to read, and I think you're right that it's wrong of me to look for myself in other people's lives. I've done it for so long that it's hard for me to think of any other way of going about it, but you gave me some good ideas to start w. Thanks for sharing!
@@jacobdreamsasmr Of course man, I'm glad I could share! No one is ever alone in these seasons, even when it feels like it. You definitely got this, Jacob! 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽
You're an INTJ brother. Welcome to the club!
I used to be an INFJ but I just looked up INTJ and you might be right bruh
I totally can understand the obsession with self help content. I am no stranger to self improvement TH-cam. It's weird. I find myself thinking that by watching the videos, my life will somehow getting better, when in reality, it won't because what works for one person, won't work for everyone.
Exactly bruh. I honestly can't think of a self-help video or book in the last 6 months that has had a net positive affect on me. They really only stress me out rn
Same.
what did you like as a child? what were you good at? how can you translate that into something a career? if that’s what you want. at some point you realize you have to decide and no one will save you. you have to parent yourself and keep moving forward.
I've had a couple people suggest going back to the basics and I think they're right, I tend to overcomplicate stuff
You know what…maybe I should do Asmr too man. Cause atp
6:40 i am 21, i don't know what should i do, i am in engineering university but after 4 years, i still don't know why i'm here
The thing is maybe you don't know what you truly want but if you stay at your position, you will never find it out, you have to do things and maybe one day you will be able to enjoy what you like and then, have a life purpose
that's what i am saying to myself, and one day, i hope i will accomplished being in the "right place"
I think you're right to say that. As long as you keep trying stuff, I think it's impossible to not end up where you're supposed to be
Beautiful eyes ❤
You know the existential crisis is going hard when you decided to shop your hair off.
HAHAH is just a joke, I remember that years ago my sister cut her really short when she was on therapy, now she is better and wants it long.
Fr bruh, I'd been wanting to do it again but this gave me a good excuse. My main character moment
I’ve just started the book, ‘No Longer Human’ by Osamu Dazai, could be a good one for you :)
Something that helped me was my history teacher in high school telling our class that “experts” in a field shouldn’t heavily influence what you choose to do with your life. For example, doctors used to recommend parents to put their newborn babies to sleep on their stomachs. Or doctors used to recommended smoking. Obviously this thinking was flawed but the majority of the population ignored their own logic to follow the logic of “the experts.”Experts only know the extent of what humanity as a whole has reached together. Because no scientific theory or law can be proven by one person, so letting a single person have a greater influence in your life than YOU do is ignorant. But that’s what we’re brainwashed to do as kids. So when you’re taught in school as a little kid, for example, that Gorge Washington had wooden teeth, it’s easier for you to agree and move on rather than truly think about what you’re being told. You know deep down what is best for you, no stranger on the internet understands the experiences you’ve had or have not had. It’s a very good thing that you feel motivated to do something, and that you want more substance in your life. But spending more time worrying rather than doing what you want to do will make you revert into the opposite direction of where you want to go. Discipline is a very good trait, but it’s learned over time, so having patience with yourself will help you feel less frustrated. I’m currently finishing up my second year in college, I’m on the premed track and when I think of all the classes, all the tests, all the studying ahead of me I literally try and psych myself into doing something easier. But nobody but yourself will get in your own way. Nothing can truly stop you when you set your mind on something. If you fail, it’s ok, because it doesn’t matter how many times you fail, but rather how hard you worked to get where you wanna go. Even if you don’t know what you wanna do, it’s ok. Life is so much bigger than ourselves, and when we get stuck in these depressive moments we forget how beautiful life can be. If you think you should travel, try a new career, live in the forest just do it. Don’t let your worries stop you from doing what will truly make you happy. I believe in a higher power, and that God only wants to see us prosper. Take everything as a lesson. Ik I’m ranting a lot rn, but I’ve recently learned to appreciate everything happening in my life. Last September, a week before my birthday I got fired from a really good job. The day after my birthday I got in a car accident and totaled my car. I had an exam the day of my accident and failed it. A month later my anxiety got so bad that I physically couldn’t force myself to go to class, causing me to skip an exam and fail it. Each of these things taught me a lesson. When you’re at your lowest, having people there for you will help u realize how loved and appreciated you are. That no event or thing that happens to you will define you for the rest of your life. We can always change and be better. Having faith that things will turn out how they’re meant to be sets you free from anxiety. The last thing imma say is more spiritual, but I prayed by following this verse and I saw my expectations for my life change, helping me loose the anxiety I had of living up to the person I thought I wanted myself to be: “ Do not worry about anything, but pray and ask God for everything you need, always giving thanks. And God’s peace, which is so great we cannot understand it, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7 NCV).” Thank you for this video and sharing how you’ve been feeling.
That was such an amazing comment, I just read the whole thing twice. And you are right in so many ways I don't even know where to start. I think what interested me most is the idea of believing in a higher power, as opposed to a person or idea I see being promoted by people.
I've thought a bit more about religion lately, and the idea of leaning on a larger construct than myself and having something to fall back on. I have this notion that I have to create my entire destiny, and it puts a lot of pressure on me and almost paralyzes me at times
The only thing I can say, is that any choice involving future possibilities/opportunities/choices, has the same worth than any other choice : None of them have guaranteed benefits, as you will never know what they will create until you actually make them. Considering that every choice has the same worth, and is always only a bet, start to make the bets according to the games you really want to play.
If it's a different one each day for 8 weeks, then fine.
At least you'll have started dozens of projects, tried a bunch of new things, and made a lot of small changes.
All those things (that will be seen like a mess, and will make you feel like the most indecisive person ever) will help you identify what you like the most for now. Some of those will become new habits, some of those will become new centers of interest, and some of those will become new solutions that you use in the future when you need some change.
Truth is, Jacob, you'll always need some changes.
You'll always need to let go of some things, and start new ones.
Because you'll always need to adapt to how your life, your goals, your dreams, your abilities, your fears, your troubles, will change, and act accordingly.
Adaptation is key.
Change is inevitable.
Embrace the mess, become the mess, and pierce through it.
As you will never lose who you truly are, nor what you are good for.
But the only way to know what fulfill you the most, is to try a bunch of things that you're already considering.
You'll know, soon after the beginning of the process, if how it impacts your life is really worth the result.
That was really well said, thank you for sharing. I think you captured the long-term benefits of just trying things super well. And you're right, we have no idea what is going to come out of the things we are considering doing. I have a tendency to project myself far ahead into the future and convince myself that I know how an endeavor will turn out, and I'm almost always wrong. I was literally just talking w my best friend about how infrequently reality matches our expectations
im getting bi polar vibes (not in derogatory way i'm bi polar myself )
Never related more to a video than this
sounds like your approach is too external. the things you want to do, things you have to do, everything is external. maybe taking a pause and figuring out things that matter to you, your strengths, weaknesses, areas of opportunity you may want to prioritize. maybe that could help align what is important to what you want to do, even if thats not something long term, but it could give you a clearer sense of direction and purpose to your present moment.
nice video, thanks for sharing, i resonated with the part about being too tough on yourself. trying to work on that too :)
I completely agree w you and I’ve been trying to work more inside out if that makes sense. And being more patient
okayy buzz cut also yes tuned in again
The existential crisis had physical consequences this time
@@jacobdreamsasmr so real for that
I’m no doctor but this sounds like adhd
Bro should become a model
You should be helping the next guy behind you however you can
brotha be a model
Why'd you buzzcut your hair too?
Now hes just teasin us with the hair ❤❤😂😢
Hello :)
I want to start off by saying thank you so much for your courage to reveal your struggles. I couldn’t stop nodding my head on the feelings and experiences that you’re going through. I don’t think there’s THE answer to make sense of what you want and need right now. This is gonna be kooky but what helps provides me direction and security, as I feel what you’re feeling as if we’re living the same experience, is I put my identity in Jesus Christ. A God who wants these burdens on Him, a God who already truly has this figured out for me and you. Stop trying to figure everything out right now and getting mad at yourself for trying out life in a way that’s gonna bring you fulfillment. Give yourself grace, that is a undeserving feeling of mercy and compassion. The fact that you’re so aware of this and you’re so willing to reflect on these things shows how much of a step closer you are then in the past when you just completely gave up and didn’t at least attempt to say “hey I’m struggling”. I have a feeling you’re a hard person to give advice too because you’re so wise and intelligent yourself. Let those be your tools not the things that keep you bounded. Get your mind in order. Align your thoughts with ways that are gonna help you, not break you. Don’t take everything to heart. Let it flood to your mind, make it obey Christ by rooting it in love and truth, and then decide if it’s worth taking to heart. You can do this. I know you know this but truly live like you can do it. On bad days. On good days. On reckless days. On failing days. All days. Don’t live for you and stop focusing on the worldly way of self love and how to figure yourself out. It’s not easier being with Christ but it’s safer and true life. I can truly put my life on it. I will be prayer for you. Christ loves you so much. ❤
Thank you so much for commenting, the phrase, "let those be your tools, not the things that keep you bounded" really, really hit me. I've gotten so many cool pieces of advice on this video and yours was definitely some of the most impactful. Thank you!
Of course! It’s advice I need to take myself. I am so glad to help you. You truly help me too ❤️
2 Everything is so meaningless. The Teacher says that it is all a waste of time![a] 3 Do people really gain anything from all the hard work they do in this life[b]?
Things Never Change
4 People live and people die, but the earth continues forever. 5 The sun rises and the sun goes down, and then it hurries to rise again in the same place.
6 The wind blows to the south, and the wind blows to the north. The wind blows around and around. Then it turns and blows back to the place it began.
7 All rivers flow again and again to the same place. They all flow to the sea, but the sea never becomes full.
8 Words cannot fully explain things,[c] but people continue speaking.[d] Words come again and again to our ears, but our ears don’t become full. And our eyes don’t become full of what we see.
Nothing Is New
9 All things continue the way they have been since the beginning. The same things will be done that have always been done. There is nothing new in this life.
10 Someone might say, “Look, this is new,” but that thing has always been here. It was here before we were.
11 People don’t remember what happened long ago. In the future, they will not remember what is happening now. And later, other people will not remember what the people before them did. Ecc 1
your celebrity lookalike is definitely oscar isaac
Does that make me an atreides by association
@@jacobdreamsasmr yes of course 🤷🏽♀️
Hello hubby
Lisan al gaib
Bro is not Paul Atreides (I am)
@@HaydenH03 your pfp>>>
كم طولك ؟ How tall are you
Just wanted to casually drop that humanity is doomed from all directions and in my opinion 99,9% of everyone is equally deserving of it
That’s the spirit
Have you tried delayed gratification? I used to feel like you, but figured out I built a dopamine tolerance from engaging in super exciting activities. Might not work for you so take with a grain of salt
I've heard of the term but I don't know what exactly you do to implement it. How did you get started?
You're at a crossroads
Quarter life crisis is real at 22
are you a capricorn
Pisces
It sounds like undiagnosed adhd to me, have you ever looked into that?
No, but a few people have said that, which I’ve never gotten before
U need the mic cover thingy so u can breath and it wouldn’t be audible
Individuality is capitalist lmao
Talking seriously, maybe u have bipolar disorder. Those opposite bursts of depression vs complete ambition really do resonate w a friend that is diagnosed. But idk, could be just anxiety too, i recommend maybe seeking a psychiatrist if it is becoming too overwhelming.
I know this will require a lot more in depth thought from you specifically to be beneficial but I can honestly say Jesus has saved my life and gave it purpose. I once had the perspective you had and he answers all of it. You have such an important life and you have so much meaning! Jesus loves you and has died for you. His arms are open wide for you to come to him. All life is precious and meaningful, including yours!
The books I’d recommend most are the first 4 books of the New Testament in the Bible.
I said this in another comment but I've definitely thought more about religion and how it could be a part of my life lately. If you don't mind me asking, when you say Jesus answers all of it, what do you mean exactly?
your brain is developing more fully and it’s uncomfortable. try new stuff, it becomes clearer.