Sometimes feeling uncomfortable in something is the first step towards feeling comfortable - I've definitely found pieces I've bought in the past to be weird or strange the first time I wear them, but over time become part of a uniform or, even better, are actively empowering because they're something which represents you and others wouldn't wear.
I was thinking of this the other day! I love to find interesting pieces/clothing items, that dont necessarily go with my wardrobe at the time. But they're too beautiful to let go. I bought a pair of curved Levi's at a thrift store(similar pairs have been produced in the Uniqlo U line), maybe 11 years ago, and I recently fell in love with them again and wear them regularly. I feel so good when I'm in them! And it's funny that I was eyeing the ones from Uniqlo, forgetting I'd already bought a similar pair maybe 10 years prior !
I've never thought of clothes as a tool to actively improve my mood, mindset, and ultimately my behaviour. I like to dress nicely and pick out my outfits carefully, mainly to choose items that go well together. BUT never with the intention of using clothes to my advantage regarding self-improvement. I feel like this approach is so powerful! Changed my outlook on clothes
Weird clothing hack i learned: if i wake up grumpy or if its gloomy out, i find yellow is the instant mood booster and makes things feel so sunny and good. Its hard to be in a bad mood wesring a sunny yellow top. If its winter, bright red on a winter blizzard day is instantly warm and cosy. Summer- cucumber and mint shades against white feel cool and refreshing even if its no different then the same tee shirt judt differnt color you always wear. Haha
Pandemic and worrking from home really freed me from need to dress up. In 2023 this freedom moved me really close to burnout and depression. This spring and summer are my seasons to experiment with outfits and add some colors to life!
I’m glad that mental health awareness is being shown more so that lots of people who are suffering are being heard. Great vid again drew, really chill and calming. Pvv :) ❤️
I already have this mindset of be well dressed and i know how I’m dressed impact my mood, but this video made me have a different approach of it, I’ve started to rebuild my wardroab to have more confidence in it, thanks this vid was beautiful congrats man 🫶👊
I thought the same way but I started going to a new gym recently and have met a bunch of new people whom I've already become good friends with (working out has been a hobby of mine for the past few years). I would recommend you try to go out there and find other people who enjoy the same hobbies/interests as you.
A small note - a control group is usually the group that doesn’t take part in the intervention. They might take a placebo or continue as usual while the other group undergoes the intervention.
I used to pay so much attention onto clothing style in exchange for respect from others. But in reality it's just a reflection of my own insecurities. as a matter of fact, people do not care that much about you and their opinions don't really matter. try to be at peace with the self is real courage.
My issue with this is that you will not get inner confidence by just getting it from clothes that you associate with confidence. In that case you just get externally given confidence. So it's a type of medicine to wear clothes that make you feel confident but it will never be a permanent *cure* .
Great vid bro! Connecting with and meeting with new people is hard man. Keep your head up though, your positive energy will attract good people to you in time. Stay up brotha ✊🏾
Excellent approach to this topic so close to my own heart and passion! I'm a counselor and wrote my thesis with similar considerations included. I sent it to you because I think you will especially enjoy some of the references included.
I agree with this study Drew and the effect color has on mood. I love fashion that is comfortable but with a bit of me in it. I also like classic pieces especially for work. I always dress more professionally and a bit more rigid/organized cause it sets me up for that mindset when I go into work. I also believe 100% that people treat me with more respect when I dress with respect ing me and others in mind. Clothing and fashion are powerful in that way and I like that a lot. I also think it’s like a signature. If I choose certain pieces I always want my signature style to be on it to express who I am. And like you said in the video when I see others fashion it gives me insight into who they are and what they like and that’s fun for me. My brother and I discuss it often as we both love fashion. Loved the video Drew. #pvv: I am 33, and recently, actually just a few days ago I felt very down because I have a grad school degree but what it amounted to felt very small. It felt like life keeps giving me more mountains to climb even though I feel like I have climbed a lot. However, my mom said something very important to me. She said, “Erica, it was not for nothing. In life, sometimes the fruits come later but it wasn’t for nothing.” I am grateful for this reminder and now I am more present and lifted. Also, with the friendship situation, in my 30s I have noticed that I need to take my time with a friend. In 6 months they tell you a lot. At this age I have realized that people have some level of baggage but how they manage that baggage is very telling. It has helped me with managing relationships. Also, I appreciate clarity and honesty more and love it when I find that in a new friend. But giving a new of any type of relationship time is essential. And loneliness is definitely part of it. My friends are mostly also married with kids and it changes things but in many ways I am used to and accept the change, but I have noticed that because I am focused on the joys of my job I don’t stay in the loneliness for too long. It’s a wave though, but I have learned that no one can take away loneliness from me. It is a human condition that we must take care of, but I don’t think it will ever fully leave us.
#pvv I definitely relate to your struggle with maintaining and creating friendships. I’ve even intentionally distanced myself from a close friend and ended a friendship with another close friend. I believe my decisions were the best to protect my own mental health and set boundaries, it still hurts, especially since I feel my friendship pool is already small. Now I’m anxious about getting close to friends since I’ve been hurt from toxic friends. I’m seeing a pattern where friends reach out when they’re going through a crisis and need my support but aren’t as responsive after they feel better.
#pvv the mental health struggle I've been dealing with lately is "not feeling like I'm not doing enough when it comes to my personal growth" I've been working on my creative director portfolio , but I've been learning how to better gage the work I want to do but also allowing my self to slowly move through project. This is a challenge because I'm also trying to be present in my relationship with my with and not overworking.
Take it from someone who has experienced a low of life aka depression, where one literally loses interest in everything. I lost my interest in wear and saw the consequence of it. The way I was carrying myself in the world was not something any sane mind would do once he/she saw how it plays out in both the inner and outer world.
#PVV I struggle with OCPD. For me, this means that I struggle with deciding what I want to wear each day and how I want to dress in general. This makes choice so overwhelming that I either can't make a decision or spend weeks being distracted 24/7 by thoughts about which shoes are the "right" choice. There is then a lot of shame attached to neglecting relationships and other commitments because I'm spending so much time and energy on the new "obsession". Thankfully, I have a very compassionate wife :)
#pvv lol this is my first time commenting ever so this is new to me. But currently I’m only 16 and I’m going through lots of people tell me to grow up quickly when I just want to take things slow. I feel like if anything I’ve been growing up too quick with working since I was 13/14 in the fashion scene and I felt like I’ve done okay for myself, I’ve interned at round 2 and worked at this store called laced up. I have lots of potential but I have some bad old habits of being inconsistent and lazy. I feel like when I don’t get something done I lack motivation afterwards, I tired to get myself a job at Ald but the problem was my age only which really stressed me out so I stopped looking for a job since I got upset because I made all the requirements but my age was stopping me. I also have been in this sticky situationship and tonight she actually broke it off with me. Idk what I’m doing sometimes and I just wish I had more people to guide me in this fashion stuff. I’m going through a lot in my head and it just takes a toll sometimes. Yah but nonetheless to end this on a positive note, I love your content free and keep killing it drew much love and hope to keep seeing you winning!
Clothes is the easiest way to spot an idiot. Whether hiding behind suits, blue hair, slutty outfit or rainbow crap, I use it as a easier filter. People will tell you all, just learn to observe.
@@DrewJoiner good video though, I think you've made some great points and I think a lot of people can benefit from romanticising their lives! I've been trying to do it a lot lately and it's nice to hear people talking about it :)
I will say that when my mom was receiving chemo therapy, she and many patients wore the most beautiful wigs, makeup, nails, headscarves, and comfy clothes that they could. Sure they had harder off days and that meant putting less thought into an outfit which was totally valid but this (fashion choice) was something that they could control and focusing on it the surface made them feel better. I hate it when people belittle the fashion industry “they’re not curing cancer” but like I said, they’re helping cancer patients feel more comfortable with themselves. Fashion is survival and yes even a shirt and jeans can be fashion, a hospital gown, clothes equal fashion and it helps people so much
Yeah… so weird bc I was the same way when living with my abusive family. I dressed TO MY NINES almost every day back then… it was the first time in my life I wore heels regularly. It’s almost instinctual; like how an animal will do anything to hide that it’s hurt from a predator… You hide your struggles behind looking really good on the surface. At the very least then you don’t need to worry about getting messed with in public… In fact the smiles given and received from random strangers can be enough to keep you going and continue striving for better on the hard days.
I worry about the mindset of those who belittle these "useless" things. They are so stuck in their little survival, super intelligent and perfect "stem" mindset... They behave like organisms who evolved to be brown, ugly, and destructive or jittery like locusts, roaches, anole lizards. If only they weren't so literal and could accept the more complex aspects of their humanity.
It’s refreshing to see a fashion TH-camr discuss more than the garments themselves. How clothes reflect one’s personality and how one can use them as a tool for self-improvement is a super cool subject. Yet another banger from Drew.
I'm working on my social anxiety and confidence and I decided to buy myself some new clothes. I wanted them for years but never allowed myself to buy them. I had enough money to do that but I used to feel guilty after spending money on clothes. Finally, I just did it. I bought clothes and shoes I'm in love with. People compliment my outfits and what's most important I feel badass wearing these clothes. It helps with my anxiety and motivates me to leave the house :) When I wear something which fits strange or makes me uncomfortable in any way I'm more anxious and don't want to go outside.
I am in the same situation. I have always had money (but so afraid to spend, so always lived like a rat) but never managed to bring myself to spend money on clothes. I have once during the pandemic bought quite a lot of second hand clothes online, but almost none of them fit me, in terms of color, shape and texture. I am 30 and have a terrible fashion sense. Reading your comment, I thought that I really should give it a try and not look at the price tags and finally get nice looking clothes. But, although I've been studying Kibbe body types, kirschner essence IDs and the color theory and although I am lucky to have a very nice looking body, I still can't find anything to wear for the life of me. It doesn't help that I have horrible looking tattooes on both my wrists that no amount of laser sessions manage to remove. As a result I always resort to long sleeved plain t shirts...
I work with victims of abuse - here is a tip. Buy a NEW perfume [not expensive, just a cheap one you like] and put it next to the door - every time you go out, put some on. EVERY TIME. It hacks your brain to switch into confident "I know I look good and smell nice" mode
You Tube has some good videos on fashion, find your body type and some out fits. Up Cycle Old Clothes Wal-Mart Clothes Marshall Clothes Thrift Store Clothes
@@sofitocyn100 hi! I’m in the same process, in a way. You can train your eye and learn what you like! My mom was really into clothes and shopping with me. And I got pretty good at picking out things that work well for me. I found that shows like What Not To Wear gave me some ideas. There was not much on TH-cam about clothing at the time? Or maybe I just didn’t see it? Now I’m having to learn all over again. I had cancer, and my body is completely different. I’m finally getting some clothes that make me feel good, six years after my treatment! Good luck to you and to me too 😊
Wearing a suit at an IT job where everyone is wearing T-shirts mainly just makes me realise how much more uncomfortable suits are and how much more I'm sweating. Which is a pity, because I love suits.
@@someguycalledcerberus9805 i love suits and would look for more excuses to wear one but definitely dress down if the opportunity arises. I was only speaking to the idea that clothes do indeed make the man
@@someguycalledcerberus9805 you don’t have to give up on suits if you like wearing them! you could try looking for ones made of different fabrics or are cut for warmer temps, perhaps mix and match different parts of a suit with more comfortable pieces
personally I think the whole romanticizing your life mindset is a little too self-centered and empty now (like, the main character energy people want to have, not necessarily just liking the tasks we perform) but I cannot disagree that dressing up IS an underrated way to cope and build self-esteem and satisfaction in life, from personal experience. I had an eye surgery go very wrong at the end of quarantine, and had to continue my life from there, as the kid at school with bloody eyes with scars on them and a lazy eye. No one gave me a hard time really, but my god did it mess with how I view myself and my self-esteem. It was already bad, but it had practically become non-existent. It wasn’t until some time passed and in my last year of school, I decided to experiment with the clothes I had thrifted and my up-cycling and yarn abilities to make very unique outfits that felt were unique as my situation. I decided to take clothes as something more than just a practicality, but as a form of self expression, as a way of decorating myself. I’m still learning, but I’m growing to still embrace my uniqueness :D and there were many days I felt good, because dressing up made me feel ready to have a happy, good time :) I really do think mood is responsible for the resurgence of experimental fashion
Great Vid. I usually dress based on how I'm feeling, but here you're saying to dress based on how you WANT to feel. I think that's a nice shift in mentality, in being more proactive than reactive to your emotions. PVV : it's been hard to maintain relationships lately. It's like I've been growing distant with the people that I value, but at the same time I'm feeling more and more confident as ME. Right now my biggest goal to challenge my mental health is to put myself out there, being more bold and assertive about who I am and what I'm working on.
Honestly this is one of the reasons I love uniforms. We have customizable uniforms at my job (a few different T-shirts, a few different optional sweaters, and an optional jacket), and I can pair it with my carpenter pants and steel-toed boots if I want, dress pants and loafers if I want, etc. Really gets me into that "I want to lift stuff and stack stuff efficiently"-mood, or the "I'm gonna give the most professional answers anyone's ever heard"-mood.
I think one of the biggest mental health things that I've been dealing with lately is making sure I have time to enjoy life and not stretch myself out too thin.
social anxiety is something i struggle with, but its getting better. my/ other peoples outfits tend to be a good ice breaker and talking about them make me less nervous. #pvv . Drew this is an amazing video, keep shining❤️✨✨
First off, that mustard yellow is incredible on you. I have spent a lot of my life using clothing as armor instead of as expression. As a result I feel like it's difficult to tap into my intuition about how clothing makes me feel. I like this concept of clothing romanticizing life, and the way you presented it made it easier to understand.
I get the intentions behind romanticizing your life but I believe that true beneficiary of a romanticized life are the brands selling you an experience. Hear me out , whatever level of comfort or confidence you feel in your clothes is a reflection of how you feel about your body.The evidence of this is that everything that influences what you buy is determined by characteristics of your body. For example despite what color , texture , price a product is you are limited by the sizes based on your body type. This means that any clothing you buy is only temporary because of the changes is your body. Which also means that the clothes you wear are temporary (they don't last despite quality ) based on how time changes your body. The temporal experiences of clothes means that their benefits will also be temporary. So though romanticizing your life will give you benefits , these benefits will be temporary. Which will result in a dependency on clothes to create positive feelings for yourself. Now clothing brands will benefit the most because they can't actually sell you something like "confidence" or "cool" they can only sell you something that only is a symbol of these things. And because there only selling you the symbolic feeling of what you want it cost them less than what your will undoubtedly be spending to get what they can't physically sell you. I don't want to rant (even though I already have...) but if your going to romanticize a part of your clothing experience , set boundaries so that you won't be drawn in to over consume.
it's a personal problem if you don't know how to balance these sliders to achieve meaningful effects, stop seeing it in solid points "this or that" mindset, hm? Each piece is part of a puzzle set. And yes, they can sell you those feelings - you don't feel how notions are conveyed in the material and its very design? Perhaps something very literal like music could express that notion to you. Always arguing against isolated bits and pieces in accordance to some unchecked premise, how about changing your perspective and stop reacting? Collect each of these facts of life and put it together as a comprehensive picture, a skill movie making expresses clearly for example.
I could never put my finger on why I struggle with the concept of romanticization but the answer was just too obvious. It's fully linked with consuming and therefore chasing (hello dopamine trap) moments of joy. That is better than nothing but way worse than actually doing the work to regulate yourself and seeking out balance.
An interesting topic and in my opinion its almost an insane Viewpoint. Clothes arent an intrinsic value, they are external affirmation. I think why dressing a certain way can affect us alot, stems from the expectation how other people will percieve us, and thus becomes an extrinsic value. Its pretty much the same as getting a lot of attention online, it might feel good yes, but people are neither fullfilled nor happy with it. Societys mental health is progressively declining and i think a huge factor in it is the shift to a more capitalistic and narcissitic society. This video captures that perfectly, we have a person who propagates buying materalistic stuff so your soul can feel better by enhancing your egotistical view of oneself. I think, if you have the need to convince people of yourself by visual cues, maybe you arent really authentically that, what you wish to be and that might be a way better path of a solution.
So do you believe art has no intrinsic value? Self expression? Everything we see is always for the attention from others? Is attention bad? If so, why? Are humans asocial or social? Good mental health is in part to the healthy attention we get from our parents as newborns. Could this not be indication into how we function as adults as well? I think you see attention in absolutes. Liking and receiving attention is good as long as you're giving attention as well. I think egotistical behavior is expecting everything to be about and revolve around you--emphasis on "everything".
it's so different for everyone. When I was young I was insecure and always wanted to 'impress/please people' and 'look good' and 'be special', so I wore stylish clothes, kind of outside the ordinary clothes and do get comments/compliments. And I got myself wrapped up in an ego identity that wears stylish clothes. But now that I'm older (in my 30s), I know myself, I've developed a backbone, had awakening experiences/realizations, been through life, etc. I'm no longer into 'pleasing and impressing and standing out'. Clothes aren't as important for me. I can wear whatever and still just be myself. Clothes doesn't define your beingness. It was when I was so dang insecure that I was so into fashion and clothes XD
*I WEAR MENS HISTORICAL* clothing [1890 - 1930] every day - I hope I bring a little joy to people's lives, seeing someone dressed differently. I tailor all my own clothes so there is a LOT of "me" in everything I wear.
Amazing video 👏🏼 the white lab coat test is bonkers and fascinating. This made me think of how all Margiela employees wear white lab coats. I was in their SF store recently and yup, the white lab coats on the employees were present, and it made an impression on me. Clothes are vessels for moods, behaviors, connections/disconnections, vibes, experiences.
#pvv ! Love your videos Drew. I feel the same way about friends and being lonely sometimes. I'm still young so it's hard to find friends who are mature, but still like to have fun. I had some really good friends last year but it fell apart, and left me missing those honest people who hear you out. Fashion has been a great outlet for my interests and I pray for the day I find a group of people who share the same interests again. Until then we hang on!
#pvv hi drew! it's funny you mentioned mental health struggles and more specifically loneliness, because i just watched one of your instagram posts, the one you did a while ago about the difference between being alone vs being lonely and it's exactly the mood i've been going through right now. aging is a life-experience full of ups and downs, and this mid 20's phase is definitely one of them : your circle is crowded until it's not and the crazy part it's that happens in a blink of an eye. thank you for sharing your current state of mind, that was refreshing, and just keep doing what you're good at!
I love your take on this. I got into clothes to get with the trends but now I feel as if I've created myself an identity where I can express myself. All the the different materials, colours and how it can be styles in so many ways.. It just fascinates me Just wanted to ask: I heard that you shouldn't be so materialistic in life, would clothes also be a factor? what's your thoughts on that?
Being into fashion doesn't really make you materialistic. However, if you are always looking to get the most expensive pieces just to show off rather than express your own style and personality into your drip then that would make you materialistic. We wouldn't call someone who is into thrifting or more of a vintage look a materialist. Just my two cents.
I find that this mindset is very helpful to cope with the things you CANNOT have. However, feeling better through the clothes you own seems alright since you already have them, and IIRC they used the SAME jackets in the study on enclothed cognition and just named them lab coat/painter jacket. That means what really matters is the way you feel about what you already have, much more so than buying new clothes only for the short-lived novelty that makes you feel better in them.
as a girl i've always noticed how masculine vs feminine outfits make you carry yourself differently. maybe that's partly responsible for me having a different personality now, compared to when i dressed more masculine, or maybe it was a symptom of my personality change??
Friendships are not highly valued in our cultures and society. It's understood that someone will disappear with their next boo and more or less drop you. This is so backwards and it's not like this in all countries - many places in the world have names for and socially acknowledged status of long time friendships. I think we all must do the extra work to prioritize communication to keep from casual ghosting, and understand that in these cultures we have to fight for these precious things called friendships. Also, if our friendships are just not compatible anymore, making the effort to find and develop new ones is a pain in the arse, but I think we just have to buckle down and dedicate ourselves to it for a while until it runs itself. Friendships are so so important, life is hollow without them, and we have to treat them like a goal. For me, I've learned that I need my friends to be friends so we can hang out in a group regularly, as I do not have the energy to maintain friendships as one on ones.
Absolutely affects my mood and how I feel. The style, color, fit, and how it looks on me. One of my mental/emotional health struggles is finding friends I actually like lol where we are like-minded, and the vibe is good. I'm turning 41 this August. I've realised it's much harder as you get older because you don't vibe with just anyone. Also, having a partner as well. ( I'm single) been like this for a while and am just becoming accustomed to it. I want to be around people. I FEEL good being around and uplifted. It's gotten to a point where I'm just starting to not care, and I don't know if that's a bad thing. Because for the most part I feel I would rather be to myself.
I actually often have this contrast of loving to wear fun clothes but also anxiously wondering whether I stand out too much! Specifically, lately I've had this weird fear that I could somehow be walking around with a big noticeable stain or something if I'm just out doing stuff by myself... it doesn't really make sense (although I live in big city); but my anxiety also doesn't make sense, so yes, mental health doing the most haha. (also, as a woman, I kind of feel insecure wearing too feminine clothes if I'm not very confident that specific day. I wonder if men feel this way about clothes that could be considered feminine too!) I totally had this period of feeling lonely and wondering what friends would stay for years too, through covid as well, but I feel like it just took some adjusting to how your life changes when you get older. Now, I really love my handful of friends and I think a lot of people have the same type of small circle, especially as an introvert. Some people also just are less emotional and find it easier to let people go, it's not necessarily personal.
i’ve also been struggling with that mid 20s friends funk. i believe it’ll get better but it can still be really hard! i’m regards to the psychology of clothing..i used to always feel almost selfish for feeling uncomfortable in my clothes, almost like i wasn’t grateful for having them or just too picky for my own good. but lately i’ve been trying to rewrite my relationship with clothing and truly embrace my need to feel empowered by my wardrobe ~
End of video question: I am 17 (Jan) and my dad passed away in sept. That is the biggest struggle this year of course and probably my life. I got a therapist which is amazing and help me discover many things I didn't even know about myself. Happy Sunday yall
So sorry to hear about your dad passing, I am glad you have found a way to turn it into amount of self discovery. Hope you are having a great week. - Drew
Finding friendships in person is hard for almost everyone imo. I stay in touch with friends online, but finding local friends is an ongoing project. There’s a comedian who has a book called My Friends Live in My Phone, and that rings true for me.
I feel the same. The older I get the harder it is to make friends and keep connections alive. It's been specially hard after I graduated from college during the pandemic
Girl, your life hasn't started yet. And you can still easily make friends if you're active, ask people for coffee, organize dinners etc. It gets harder when you and your possible connections become busy with babies and careers. And even then you can make friends with younger or older people who are in different situations. I know, because I'm almost 40 and make multiple friends every year - and obviously nurture the old ones.
@Noname I seriously don't understand the problem. Friendships are things that multiply when you start to create social connections. You can ask your colleague, a person from a pottery class, a neighbor, someone, you met at an event, or someone you met through your friend. If you're too anxious to ask, it's really your own problem that you can try to work out instead of putting a label on your forehead saying "i'm anxious", "i'm an introvert." I know plenty of introverted people who are confident. The worst thing that can happen when asking the person to go for a coffee or to an event is, that they say no. What kind of difference that makes to your life? Before askin', you didn't have a coffee date and after that, you don't have a coffee date? You can only win or keep the status quo. Although this has nothing to do with the situation, I'm an ambivert based on the psychological test companies I've worked for has made.
@Noname I've moved to different countries without money to go to a pottery class, without knowing anyone in the whole country. Yes, it took a year to have some-what friends to go for a coffee with. But the problem you're describing is not that it's hard to make friends as an adult. But that life is difficult when you're insecure and expect other people to do all the work (e.g., coming to talk to you). And yeah, no one is making friends by walking to a stranger and making them their friend. That didn't work in high school, it doesn't work as an adult. It usually starts with you being in a similar situation where you can interact naturally. This one can do in free events as well, not only in pottery. But making friends is difficult when you see only threats and not possibilities.
I work from home and I don't get dressed up as much as I used to, today I had the chance to turn a look and walk around my neighborhood and city and felt like the main character. I looked and felt great. That's what life is about.
I don't care where I am or what I'm doing, but if I see someone in the wild wearing selvedge denim - it's a guaranteed smile wave and maybe even a fist bump with some short conversation. Secondly, when people notice that you're dressing intentionally and are put together they're more apt to act nice to you to smile and whatnot. This triggers the almighty dopamine response and automatically brightens our day, pass it on everyone! Another absolute banger Drew! I've been following your channel for a while now and really like how you delve into the psychology and philosophy of fashion instead of just focusing on the fits as such :)
You make a lot of really good points. It's so true that fashion does affect how we feels about ourselves. This is one reason I find it hard working full time in a place that requires a uniform.
I think this is such an important video! Clothes really do make that difference. I’m def suffering from post grad depression, but tryna keep entertained and in touch with my friends helping. Pvv
#pvv i've seen a short video of a guy talking about how to decline the stress of the past and the future and how to truely be active in the now. it really changed my mind and so i really thought for a long time what factors can influence the stress we are going through and how we become more chill. seeing this video, it really is important to have an own style you like and to wear clothes in which you truely live in the now. thank you for opening my eyes again!!
As a dancer for the longest time I did not pay that much attention to my clothing. Sure I tried to match but without much intent. As of late I have noticed what a difference it makes when you put thought into your clothing. I feel much more confident when dancing in clothes that I feel comfortable with. It took way too long to learn that because I be putting thought into my clothes when I go outside with friends. Thanks for the Video!
I have a pretty significant and chronic self hate problem... BUT! When I'm dripped out? With a swanky hair cut? Man oh man I feel different, untouchable. The upkeep of said look is the only reason I don't do it all the time😅 (also probably down to the slow creep of the Selbsthass) Anyway GREAT video, bruv.
Really liked this video! In my family/close social circles, fashion is usually regarded as something shallow and consumerist. Some of the most important factors of acquiring new clothes are usually the price and quality, with the expectance to be able to wear a given piece for as long as possible. Although I still consider these factors important, clearly there's much, much more to it! The sense of identity and its consequences, feeling good with what you're wearing, etc. Thanks for this! :)
It's funny to hear someone talk about colors as a goth 🤣 still, it's a very interesting video What do I think about romanticizing my life? Oh that it's very necessary for me, especially atm. I feel like a rag studying and working all day at home in my pjs, but if I goth up I can suddenly feel amazing again (pvv) I am studying a very hard exam to work for the State national Library in my country and it's very difficult and hard to study by myself. A lot of reclusion time and it's taking a toll, so yeah, I do need some rom-rom of my life atm
toxic "don't take things, yourself so seriously". wtf, why would I want to make meaningless things even more meaningless? what would surviving, doing anything be for then?
Such a terrific message and a GREAT video. Ps. You said á bientôt at the end the French are MASTERS of understanding this. And it’s not about “high fashion” it’s just about taking care of one appearance as a non-verbal communication to the world. It’s delightful. Example Once in Paris I saw this older gentleman waiting for the metro. He was wearing a simple outfit of a plain shirt and pants. But the pants had a thin mint green stripe down the side. This matched the mint green small shopping bag that he had brought with him for the trip. Just seeing him delighted me so much because I could instantly recognize the care that he had taken in getting ready that day because he would be out in the world being seen. Some say what we wear isn’t important. But the image of that moment seeing him there on the platform has stuck with me to this day. 🥰
Answering the mental health question: my latest hurdle is psychosis. Mine is mild and medicated but it’s still scary and lonely. Society stigmatizes and simultaneously doesn’t yet understand this mind state. It’s not entirely negative, but it is often treated as such in western medicine. I have come down from my most destructive “manic state” which included not sleeping well or often, and voraciously creating content for my social media accounts. I was aware not to share anything too opinionated or too personal- but I produced a large volume of content, usually rivaled by larger content creators. Some of my delusions included believing I was psychically attuned to “spirit guides” and receiving messages via synchronicities and tarot cards. Arguably, these delusions were pretty tame. But they still impacted my self esteem. Despite no longer feeling manic, I cannot tell where my delusions begin and my hobbies stop. Reading between the lines seems dangerous at this time, and I’m doing all I can to stay sane. Thanks for giving me a place to answer this question honestly. I enjoyed your video!
Great video! I think the other thing to highlight that you touched on, is this mindset changes the relationship you have with your clothes in many different ways. When you have a more meaningful connection to what you’re wearing, you care for your things better, you become more intentional about how you buy, and mindful of when and what you buy. I just finished reading a book called, “A Worn: A People’s History of Clothing, and I love how it talks about how we’ve lost that connection to what we wear. We’ve forgotten about the work and the thousands of people behind the scenes making the things that are intimately on our bodies.
Watching this feels weird since all my clothes are very dull colored Uniqlos haha. I'm envious of people bold enough to make fashion statements. Still, comfy clothes do put my mind at ease, I guess!
rediscovering a basic feature of more complex intelligent life forms - sensory feedback influences behaviours! I'm already out of touch with the physical world and this half generation younger is even further gone.
What mental health struggles have I had recently? Anxiety - I get bullied a lot and I get used/taken advantage a lot. I’m an older student (changing my career) and I’m a foreigner in this country.
I've been struggling with anxiety recently. My job cut my hours and im not sure how im going to afford the basics. finding a job has been unsuccessful so far but gotta keep the faith. #pvv
It is an underrated cheat code, but I mostly like wearing comfy and casual, then super fancy clothes, in which I may look good, but that's just not me.
#pvv tbh, for me its just feeling like I don’t have enough time to do what I want to do at my own pace. And then whenever I do get enough time I become lazy. The dilemma of a procrastinator.
Sometimes feeling uncomfortable in something is the first step towards feeling comfortable - I've definitely found pieces I've bought in the past to be weird or strange the first time I wear them, but over time become part of a uniform or, even better, are actively empowering because they're something which represents you and others wouldn't wear.
Two of my favorites on the YT right here! If you see this please scroll up to my comment on this page as it applies to your channel as well!
I was thinking of this the other day! I love to find interesting pieces/clothing items, that dont necessarily go with my wardrobe at the time. But they're too beautiful to let go.
I bought a pair of curved Levi's at a thrift store(similar pairs have been produced in the Uniqlo U line), maybe 11 years ago, and I recently fell in love with them again and wear them regularly. I feel so good when I'm in them! And it's funny that I was eyeing the ones from Uniqlo, forgetting I'd already bought a similar pair maybe 10 years prior !
Well said my friend! Well said
When the clothes fit nicely, I do feel more happy during the day.
me too 🙂
One of the 12 laws of the universe for sure for sure lmao
Ewwww
@@DrewJoiner bro u aren't special
@@thecooler170 life Must be Hard coOleR
I've never thought of clothes as a tool to actively improve my mood, mindset, and ultimately my behaviour. I like to dress nicely and pick out my outfits carefully, mainly to choose items that go well together. BUT never with the intention of using clothes to my advantage regarding self-improvement. I feel like this approach is so powerful! Changed my outlook on clothes
Pro tip:
Just work out and you'll look good in any clothes 😜
That's why Brad Pitt can wear a skirt and still look macho
Weird clothing hack i learned: if i wake up grumpy or if its gloomy out, i find yellow is the instant mood booster and makes things feel so sunny and good. Its hard to be in a bad mood wesring a sunny yellow top.
If its winter, bright red on a winter blizzard day is instantly warm and cosy.
Summer- cucumber and mint shades against white feel cool and refreshing even if its no different then the same tee shirt judt differnt color you always wear. Haha
Pandemic and worrking from home really freed me from need to dress up. In 2023 this freedom moved me really close to burnout and depression. This spring and summer are my seasons to experiment with outfits and add some colors to life!
I’m glad that mental health awareness is being shown more so that lots of people who are suffering are being heard. Great vid again drew, really chill and calming. Pvv :) ❤️
You Tube has nice videos on
fashion, age and body type.
There are also Make up tutorials.
I already have this mindset of be well dressed and i know how I’m dressed impact my mood, but this video made me have a different approach of it, I’ve started to rebuild my wardroab to have more confidence in it, thanks this vid was beautiful congrats man 🫶👊
Man I relate so much to getting older and finding it more difficult to make new friends
I thought the same way but I started going to a new gym recently and have met a bunch of new people whom I've already become good friends with (working out has been a hobby of mine for the past few years). I would recommend you try to go out there and find other people who enjoy the same hobbies/interests as you.
more distant and flaky but because more are dangerous with more complex intentions... shame a lot of us are such bastards.
A small note - a control group is usually the group that doesn’t take part in the intervention. They might take a placebo or continue as usual while the other group undergoes the intervention.
oops !!
Makeup and clothes have been an creative outlet for me for many years to heal with my mental health
The post vid fist bump was so sweet! ❤ this video. Instant subscribe!
This confirms/validates my mindset lately!!
I used to pay so much attention onto clothing style in exchange for respect from others. But in reality it's just a reflection of my own insecurities. as a matter of fact, people do not care that much about you and their opinions don't really matter. try to be at peace with the self is real courage.
My issue with this is that you will not get inner confidence by just getting it from clothes that you associate with confidence. In that case you just get externally given confidence. So it's a type of medicine to wear clothes that make you feel confident but it will never be a permanent *cure* .
This handsome young man, is gonna grow big on youtube 💯
My biggest mental struggle is feeling like giving up on reaching out to others. Part of me feel like it’s more peaceful this way, but is it healthy?
My first time on your channel. Clicked for topic. Stayed once I heard the nice voice, and cadence. Also nicely recorded and well written.
Great vid! Very harmonious and mindful. Post vid 👊👊 bro
Great vid bro! Connecting with and meeting with new people is hard man. Keep your head up though, your positive energy will attract good people to you in time. Stay up brotha ✊🏾
Excellent approach to this topic so close to my own heart and passion! I'm a counselor and wrote my thesis with similar considerations included. I sent it to you because I think you will especially enjoy some of the references included.
it makes so much sense?? and I've noticed this, just couldn't put my finger on it
I agree with this study Drew and the effect color has on mood. I love fashion that is comfortable but with a bit of me in it. I also like classic pieces especially for work. I always dress more professionally and a bit more rigid/organized cause it sets me up for that mindset when I go into work. I also believe 100% that people treat me with more respect when I dress with respect ing me and others in mind. Clothing and fashion are powerful in that way and I like that a lot. I also think it’s like a signature. If I choose certain pieces I always want my signature style to be on it to express who I am. And like you said in the video when I see others fashion it gives me insight into who they are and what they like and that’s fun for me. My brother and I discuss it often as we both love fashion. Loved the video Drew.
#pvv: I am 33, and recently, actually just a few days ago I felt very down because I have a grad school degree but what it amounted to felt very small. It felt like life keeps giving me more mountains to climb even though I feel like I have climbed a lot. However, my mom said something very important to me. She said, “Erica, it was not for nothing. In life, sometimes the fruits come later but it wasn’t for nothing.” I am grateful for this reminder and now I am more present and lifted. Also, with the friendship situation, in my 30s I have noticed that I need to take my time with a friend. In 6 months they tell you a lot. At this age I have realized that people have some level of baggage but how they manage that baggage is very telling. It has helped me with managing relationships. Also, I appreciate clarity and honesty more and love it when I find that in a new friend. But giving a new of any type of relationship time is essential. And loneliness is definitely part of it. My friends are mostly also married with kids and it changes things but in many ways I am used to and accept the change, but I have noticed that because I am focused on the joys of my job I don’t stay in the loneliness for too long. It’s a wave though, but I have learned that no one can take away loneliness from me. It is a human condition that we must take care of, but I don’t think it will ever fully leave us.
amazing read
🥲 Erica... reading this was a treat. Such a great reminder that loneliness is a wave that ebbs and flows
@@20thcenturyskin so glad it was :)
@@DrewJoiner it sure is~it goes away then comes back
I’m that confident mf but lately I’ve needed to be reminded of why I dress how I dress and this video helped a lott to put that into perspective 🙌🏾
Damn i have the same problem regarding friendship and I think its going to be a huge gerenational problem
#pvv I definitely relate to your struggle with maintaining and creating friendships. I’ve even intentionally distanced myself from a close friend and ended a friendship with another close friend. I believe my decisions were the best to protect my own mental health and set boundaries, it still hurts, especially since I feel my friendship pool is already small.
Now I’m anxious about getting close to friends since I’ve been hurt from toxic friends. I’m seeing a pattern where friends reach out when they’re going through a crisis and need my support but aren’t as responsive after they feel better.
I really love your content :)
❤️
#pvv the mental health struggle I've been dealing with lately is "not feeling like I'm not doing enough when it comes to my personal growth" I've been working on my creative director portfolio , but I've been learning how to better gage the work I want to do but also allowing my self to slowly move through project. This is a challenge because I'm also trying to be present in my relationship with my with and not overworking.
Your sweatshirt looks fire, why brand is it?
Wauw, this vid was amazing❤️
Take it from someone who has experienced a low of life aka depression, where one literally loses interest in everything. I lost my interest in wear and saw the consequence of it. The way I was carrying myself in the world was not something any sane mind would do once he/she saw how it plays out in both the inner and outer world.
#PVV I struggle with OCPD. For me, this means that I struggle with deciding what I want to wear each day and how I want to dress in general. This makes choice so overwhelming that I either can't make a decision or spend weeks being distracted 24/7 by thoughts about which shoes are the "right" choice. There is then a lot of shame attached to neglecting relationships and other commitments because I'm spending so much time and energy on the new "obsession". Thankfully, I have a very compassionate wife :)
I always felt like time would go by faster if I’m well dressed while doing a task I don’t really like
from my experience it's not so much that clothing affects your mood but your mood affects your clothing and how you dress
bingo
Clothes make the hammer
what's the movie 0:27? it looks so familiar?
DOPE is the movie name
#pvv lol this is my first time commenting ever so this is new to me. But currently I’m only 16 and I’m going through lots of people tell me to grow up quickly when I just want to take things slow. I feel like if anything I’ve been growing up too quick with working since I was 13/14 in the fashion scene and I felt like I’ve done okay for myself, I’ve interned at round 2 and worked at this store called laced up. I have lots of potential but I have some bad old habits of being inconsistent and lazy. I feel like when I don’t get something done I lack motivation afterwards, I tired to get myself a job at Ald but the problem was my age only which really stressed me out so I stopped looking for a job since I got upset because I made all the requirements but my age was stopping me. I also have been in this sticky situationship and tonight she actually broke it off with me. Idk what I’m doing sometimes and I just wish I had more people to guide me in this fashion stuff. I’m going through a lot in my head and it just takes a toll sometimes. Yah but nonetheless to end this on a positive note, I love your content free and keep killing it drew much love and hope to keep seeing you winning!
What's the pair of asics in the background?
Those are Merrell Moab Lows
What is the movie at 4.00?
Wonder Woman
Clothes is the easiest way to spot an idiot. Whether hiding behind suits, blue hair, slutty outfit or rainbow crap, I use it as a easier filter. People will tell you all, just learn to observe.
Not gonna lie, had to watch this at 1.5x speed.
Some ppl watch it at 2x
@@DrewJoiner good video though, I think you've made some great points and I think a lot of people can benefit from romanticising their lives! I've been trying to do it a lot lately and it's nice to hear people talking about it :)
@@jarrad5723 ♥
I will say that when my mom was receiving chemo therapy, she and many patients wore the most beautiful wigs, makeup, nails, headscarves, and comfy clothes that they could. Sure they had harder off days and that meant putting less thought into an outfit which was totally valid but this (fashion choice) was something that they could control and focusing on it the surface made them feel better. I hate it when people belittle the fashion industry “they’re not curing cancer” but like I said, they’re helping cancer patients feel more comfortable with themselves. Fashion is survival and yes even a shirt and jeans can be fashion, a hospital gown, clothes equal fashion and it helps people so much
Yeah… so weird bc I was the same way when living with my abusive family. I dressed TO MY NINES almost every day back then… it was the first time in my life I wore heels regularly.
It’s almost instinctual; like how an animal will do anything to hide that it’s hurt from a predator… You hide your struggles behind looking really good on the surface.
At the very least then you don’t need to worry about getting messed with in public… In fact the smiles given and received from random strangers can be enough to keep you going and continue striving for better on the hard days.
I worry about the mindset of those who belittle these "useless" things. They are so stuck in their little survival, super intelligent and perfect "stem" mindset... They behave like organisms who evolved to be brown, ugly, and destructive or jittery like locusts, roaches, anole lizards. If only they weren't so literal and could accept the more complex aspects of their humanity.
It’s refreshing to see a fashion TH-camr discuss more than the garments themselves. How clothes reflect one’s personality and how one can use them as a tool for self-improvement is a super cool subject. Yet another banger from Drew.
❤️
I'm working on my social anxiety and confidence and I decided to buy myself some new clothes. I wanted them for years but never allowed myself to buy them. I had enough money to do that but I used to feel guilty after spending money on clothes. Finally, I just did it. I bought clothes and shoes I'm in love with. People compliment my outfits and what's most important I feel badass wearing these clothes. It helps with my anxiety and motivates me to leave the house :) When I wear something which fits strange or makes me uncomfortable in any way I'm more anxious and don't want to go outside.
I am in the same situation. I have always had money (but so afraid to spend, so always lived like a rat) but never managed to bring myself to spend money on clothes. I have once during the pandemic bought quite a lot of second hand clothes online, but almost none of them fit me, in terms of color, shape and texture. I am 30 and have a terrible fashion sense. Reading your comment, I thought that I really should give it a try and not look at the price tags and finally get nice looking clothes. But, although I've been studying Kibbe body types, kirschner essence IDs and the color theory and although I am lucky to have a very nice looking body, I still can't find anything to wear for the life of me. It doesn't help that I have horrible looking tattooes on both my wrists that no amount of laser sessions manage to remove. As a result I always resort to long sleeved plain t shirts...
I work with victims of abuse - here is a tip. Buy a NEW perfume [not expensive, just a cheap one you like] and put it next to the door - every time you go out, put some on. EVERY TIME.
It hacks your brain to switch into confident "I know I look good and smell nice" mode
You Tube has some good videos
on fashion, find your body type and
some out fits.
Up Cycle Old Clothes
Wal-Mart Clothes
Marshall Clothes
Thrift Store Clothes
I had a similar shift a few years back i didnt think I’d come across many people i could relate with on that part of how i am
@@sofitocyn100 hi! I’m in the same process, in a way. You can train your eye and learn what you like! My mom was really into clothes and shopping with me. And I got pretty good at picking out things that work well for me. I found that shows like What Not To Wear gave me some ideas. There was not much on TH-cam about clothing at the time? Or maybe I just didn’t see it? Now I’m having to learn all over again. I had cancer, and my body is completely different. I’m finally getting some clothes that make me feel good, six years after my treatment! Good luck to you and to me too 😊
I love the idea of romanticizing your life. Its the antidote to modern times.
what a good way to put it !
wearing a suit at an office job or a uniform at a public facing position absolutely changes your mentality and approach to the work youre set to do
Wearing a suit at an IT job where everyone is wearing T-shirts mainly just makes me realise how much more uncomfortable suits are and how much more I'm sweating. Which is a pity, because I love suits.
@@someguycalledcerberus9805 i love suits and would look for more excuses to wear one but definitely dress down if the opportunity arises. I was only speaking to the idea that clothes do indeed make the man
@@someguycalledcerberus9805 Is your suit typically unlined? And what sort of fabric do you wear?
@@someguycalledcerberus9805 you don’t have to give up on suits if you like wearing them! you could try looking for ones made of different fabrics or are cut for warmer temps, perhaps mix and match different parts of a suit with more comfortable pieces
personally I think the whole romanticizing your life mindset is a little too self-centered and empty now (like, the main character energy people want to have, not necessarily just liking the tasks we perform) but I cannot disagree that dressing up IS an underrated way to cope and build self-esteem and satisfaction in life, from personal experience. I had an eye surgery go very wrong at the end of quarantine, and had to continue my life from there, as the kid at school with bloody eyes with scars on them and a lazy eye. No one gave me a hard time really, but my god did it mess with how I view myself and my self-esteem. It was already bad, but it had practically become non-existent. It wasn’t until some time passed and in my last year of school, I decided to experiment with the clothes I had thrifted and my up-cycling and yarn abilities to make very unique outfits that felt were unique as my situation. I decided to take clothes as something more than just a practicality, but as a form of self expression, as a way of decorating myself. I’m still learning, but I’m growing to still embrace my uniqueness :D and there were many days I felt good, because dressing up made me feel ready to have a happy, good time :) I really do think mood is responsible for the resurgence of experimental fashion
Great Vid. I usually dress based on how I'm feeling, but here you're saying to dress based on how you WANT to feel. I think that's a nice shift in mentality, in being more proactive than reactive to your emotions.
PVV : it's been hard to maintain relationships lately. It's like I've been growing distant with the people that I value, but at the same time I'm feeling more and more confident as ME. Right now my biggest goal to challenge my mental health is to put myself out there, being more bold and assertive about who I am and what I'm working on.
Honestly this is one of the reasons I love uniforms. We have customizable uniforms at my job (a few different T-shirts, a few different optional sweaters, and an optional jacket), and I can pair it with my carpenter pants and steel-toed boots if I want, dress pants and loafers if I want, etc. Really gets me into that "I want to lift stuff and stack stuff efficiently"-mood, or the "I'm gonna give the most professional answers anyone's ever heard"-mood.
I think one of the biggest mental health things that I've been dealing with lately is making sure I have time to enjoy life and not stretch myself out too thin.
social anxiety is something i struggle with, but its getting better. my/ other peoples outfits tend to be a good ice breaker and talking about them make me less nervous. #pvv . Drew this is an amazing video, keep shining❤️✨✨
❤️ you too
First off, that mustard yellow is incredible on you.
I have spent a lot of my life using clothing as armor instead of as expression. As a result I feel like it's difficult to tap into my intuition about how clothing makes me feel. I like this concept of clothing romanticizing life, and the way you presented it made it easier to understand.
I get the intentions behind romanticizing your life but I believe that true beneficiary of a romanticized life are the brands selling you an experience. Hear me out , whatever level of comfort or confidence you feel in your clothes is a reflection of how you feel about your body.The evidence of this is that everything that influences what you buy is determined by characteristics of your body. For example despite what color , texture , price a product is you are limited by the sizes based on your body type. This means that any clothing you buy is only temporary because of the changes is your body. Which also means that the clothes you wear are temporary (they don't last despite quality ) based on how time changes your body. The temporal experiences of clothes means that their benefits will also be temporary. So though romanticizing your life will give you benefits , these benefits will be temporary. Which will result in a dependency on clothes to create positive feelings for yourself. Now clothing brands will benefit the most because they can't actually sell you something like "confidence" or "cool" they can only sell you something that only is a symbol of these things. And because there only selling you the symbolic feeling of what you want it cost them less than what your will undoubtedly be spending to get what they can't physically sell you. I don't want to rant (even though I already have...) but if your going to romanticize a part of your clothing experience , set boundaries so that you won't be drawn in to over consume.
Great point! It's become a lot easier and common now with trends changing so quick
Everything is temporary- even us. Nothing is permanent. Eg….A CHANGE of clothing.
it's a personal problem if you don't know how to balance these sliders to achieve meaningful effects, stop seeing it in solid points "this or that" mindset, hm? Each piece is part of a puzzle set. And yes, they can sell you those feelings - you don't feel how notions are conveyed in the material and its very design? Perhaps something very literal like music could express that notion to you.
Always arguing against isolated bits and pieces in accordance to some unchecked premise, how about changing your perspective and stop reacting? Collect each of these facts of life and put it together as a comprehensive picture, a skill movie making expresses clearly for example.
@@cassandraknight8804 Maybe sustainable in a better word. Your mental health regimen should be sustainable while temporary highs can never offer that.
I could never put my finger on why I struggle with the concept of romanticization but the answer was just too obvious. It's fully linked with consuming and therefore chasing (hello dopamine trap) moments of joy. That is better than nothing but way worse than actually doing the work to regulate yourself and seeking out balance.
Has anyone told you that you look like the Korean model Han Hyunmin? Just something I observed
I get this all the time 😂👏
Thanks, I was thinking he looks so familiar lol.
An interesting topic and in my opinion its almost an insane Viewpoint.
Clothes arent an intrinsic value, they are external affirmation. I think why dressing a certain way can affect us alot, stems from the expectation how other people will percieve us, and thus becomes an extrinsic value. Its pretty much the same as getting a lot of attention online, it might feel good yes, but people are neither fullfilled nor happy with it. Societys mental health is progressively declining and i think a huge factor in it is the shift to a more capitalistic and narcissitic society.
This video captures that perfectly, we have a person who propagates buying materalistic stuff so your soul can feel better by enhancing your egotistical view of oneself.
I think, if you have the need to convince people of yourself by visual cues, maybe you arent really authentically that, what you wish to be and that might be a way better path of a solution.
So do you believe art has no intrinsic value? Self expression? Everything we see is always for the attention from others? Is attention bad? If so, why? Are humans asocial or social? Good mental health is in part to the healthy attention we get from our parents as newborns. Could this not be indication into how we function as adults as well? I think you see attention in absolutes. Liking and receiving attention is good as long as you're giving attention as well. I think egotistical behavior is expecting everything to be about and revolve around you--emphasis on "everything".
it's so different for everyone. When I was young I was insecure and always wanted to 'impress/please people' and 'look good' and 'be special', so I wore stylish clothes, kind of outside the ordinary clothes and do get comments/compliments. And I got myself wrapped up in an ego identity that wears stylish clothes. But now that I'm older (in my 30s), I know myself, I've developed a backbone, had awakening experiences/realizations, been through life, etc. I'm no longer into 'pleasing and impressing and standing out'. Clothes aren't as important for me. I can wear whatever and still just be myself. Clothes doesn't define your beingness. It was when I was so dang insecure that I was so into fashion and clothes XD
They're not lying when they say when you look good you feel good and that's a fact!
*I WEAR MENS HISTORICAL* clothing [1890 - 1930] every day - I hope I bring a little joy to people's lives, seeing someone dressed differently.
I tailor all my own clothes so there is a LOT of "me" in everything I wear.
Amazing video 👏🏼 the white lab coat test is bonkers and fascinating. This made me think of how all Margiela employees wear white lab coats. I was in their SF store recently and yup, the white lab coats on the employees were present, and it made an impression on me. Clothes are vessels for moods, behaviors, connections/disconnections, vibes, experiences.
#pvv ! Love your videos Drew. I feel the same way about friends and being lonely sometimes. I'm still young so it's hard to find friends who are mature, but still like to have fun. I had some really good friends last year but it fell apart, and left me missing those honest people who hear you out. Fashion has been a great outlet for my interests and I pray for the day I find a group of people who share the same interests again. Until then we hang on!
#pvv hi drew! it's funny you mentioned mental health struggles and more specifically loneliness, because i just watched one of your instagram posts, the one you did a while ago about the difference between being alone vs being lonely and it's exactly the mood i've been going through right now. aging is a life-experience full of ups and downs, and this mid 20's phase is definitely one of them : your circle is crowded until it's not and the crazy part it's that happens in a blink of an eye. thank you for sharing your current state of mind, that was refreshing, and just keep doing what you're good at!
I love your take on this. I got into clothes to get with the trends but now I feel as if I've created myself an identity where I can express myself. All the the different materials, colours and how it can be styles in so many ways.. It just fascinates me
Just wanted to ask: I heard that you shouldn't be so materialistic in life, would clothes also be a factor? what's your thoughts on that?
Being into fashion doesn't really make you materialistic. However, if you are always looking to get the most expensive pieces just to show off rather than express your own style and personality into your drip then that would make you materialistic. We wouldn't call someone who is into thrifting or more of a vintage look a materialist. Just my two cents.
I find that this mindset is very helpful to cope with the things you CANNOT have. However, feeling better through the clothes you own seems alright since you already have them, and IIRC they used the SAME jackets in the study on enclothed cognition and just named them lab coat/painter jacket.
That means what really matters is the way you feel about what you already have, much more so than buying new clothes only for the short-lived novelty that makes you feel better in them.
For me, not being too materialistic is about not putting the value of stuff over the value of time, relationships, and the people around you!
as a girl i've always noticed how masculine vs feminine outfits make you carry yourself differently. maybe that's partly responsible for me having a different personality now, compared to when i dressed more masculine, or maybe it was a symptom of my personality change??
I feel this difference when I put on a pant suit vs a dress! Suits have the term power suit for a reason
Friendships are not highly valued in our cultures and society. It's understood that someone will disappear with their next boo and more or less drop you. This is so backwards and it's not like this in all countries - many places in the world have names for and socially acknowledged status of long time friendships. I think we all must do the extra work to prioritize communication to keep from casual ghosting, and understand that in these cultures we have to fight for these precious things called friendships. Also, if our friendships are just not compatible anymore, making the effort to find and develop new ones is a pain in the arse, but I think we just have to buckle down and dedicate ourselves to it for a while until it runs itself. Friendships are so so important, life is hollow without them, and we have to treat them like a goal. For me, I've learned that I need my friends to be friends so we can hang out in a group regularly, as I do not have the energy to maintain friendships as one on ones.
Absolutely affects my mood and how I feel. The style, color, fit, and how it looks on me. One of my mental/emotional health struggles is finding friends I actually like lol where we are like-minded, and the vibe is good. I'm turning 41 this August. I've realised it's much harder as you get older because you don't vibe with just anyone. Also, having a partner as well. ( I'm single) been like this for a while and am just becoming accustomed to it. I want to be around people. I FEEL good being around and uplifted. It's gotten to a point where I'm just starting to not care, and I don't know if that's a bad thing. Because for the most part I feel I would rather be to myself.
I actually often have this contrast of loving to wear fun clothes but also anxiously wondering whether I stand out too much! Specifically, lately I've had this weird fear that I could somehow be walking around with a big noticeable stain or something if I'm just out doing stuff by myself... it doesn't really make sense (although I live in big city); but my anxiety also doesn't make sense, so yes, mental health doing the most haha. (also, as a woman, I kind of feel insecure wearing too feminine clothes if I'm not very confident that specific day. I wonder if men feel this way about clothes that could be considered feminine too!) I totally had this period of feeling lonely and wondering what friends would stay for years too, through covid as well, but I feel like it just took some adjusting to how your life changes when you get older. Now, I really love my handful of friends and I think a lot of people have the same type of small circle, especially as an introvert. Some people also just are less emotional and find it easier to let people go, it's not necessarily personal.
Man the labcoat actually gives you +5 Intelligence irl, crazy, my next exam i'm gonna pull up dressed in a labcoat
i’ve also been struggling with that mid 20s friends funk. i believe it’ll get better but it can still be really hard!
i’m regards to the psychology of clothing..i used to always feel almost selfish for feeling uncomfortable in my clothes, almost like i wasn’t grateful for having them or just too picky for my own good. but lately i’ve been trying to rewrite my relationship with clothing and truly embrace my need to feel empowered by my wardrobe ~
I called this my "Swag Philosophy" its same tho as "Romanticizing your life" wanted to make a vid on it, super good vid!!
End of video question: I am 17 (Jan) and my dad passed away in sept. That is the biggest struggle this year of course and probably my life. I got a therapist which is amazing and help me discover many things I didn't even know about myself. Happy Sunday yall
So sorry to hear about your dad passing, I am glad you have found a way to turn it into amount of self discovery. Hope you are having a great week. - Drew
I lost my dad at 17 too. You’re not alone out there. Therapy is a wonderful thing.
Finding friendships in person is hard for almost everyone imo. I stay in touch with friends online, but finding local friends is an ongoing project. There’s a comedian who has a book called My Friends Live in My Phone, and that rings true for me.
I wear the same outfit for all my exams in my 4 year college! I thought I performed a little better than usual. So apparently that belief is true😂
I feel the same. The older I get the harder it is to make friends and keep connections alive. It's been specially hard after I graduated from college during the pandemic
Girl, your life hasn't started yet. And you can still easily make friends if you're active, ask people for coffee, organize dinners etc. It gets harder when you and your possible connections become busy with babies and careers. And even then you can make friends with younger or older people who are in different situations. I know, because I'm almost 40 and make multiple friends every year - and obviously nurture the old ones.
@Noname I seriously don't understand the problem. Friendships are things that multiply when you start to create social connections. You can ask your colleague, a person from a pottery class, a neighbor, someone, you met at an event, or someone you met through your friend. If you're too anxious to ask, it's really your own problem that you can try to work out instead of putting a label on your forehead saying "i'm anxious", "i'm an introvert." I know plenty of introverted people who are confident. The worst thing that can happen when asking the person to go for a coffee or to an event is, that they say no. What kind of difference that makes to your life? Before askin', you didn't have a coffee date and after that, you don't have a coffee date? You can only win or keep the status quo.
Although this has nothing to do with the situation, I'm an ambivert based on the psychological test companies I've worked for has made.
@Noname I've moved to different countries without money to go to a pottery class, without knowing anyone in the whole country. Yes, it took a year to have some-what friends to go for a coffee with. But the problem you're describing is not that it's hard to make friends as an adult. But that life is difficult when you're insecure and expect other people to do all the work (e.g., coming to talk to you). And yeah, no one is making friends by walking to a stranger and making them their friend. That didn't work in high school, it doesn't work as an adult. It usually starts with you being in a similar situation where you can interact naturally. This one can do in free events as well, not only in pottery. But making friends is difficult when you see only threats and not possibilities.
I work from home and I don't get dressed up as much as I used to, today I had the chance to turn a look and walk around my neighborhood and city and felt like the main character. I looked and felt great. That's what life is about.
I don't care where I am or what I'm doing, but if I see someone in the wild wearing selvedge denim - it's a guaranteed smile wave and maybe even a fist bump with some short conversation.
Secondly, when people notice that you're dressing intentionally and are put together they're more apt to act nice to you to smile and whatnot.
This triggers the almighty dopamine response and automatically brightens our day, pass it on everyone!
Another absolute banger Drew! I've been following your channel for a while now and really like how you delve into the psychology and philosophy of fashion instead of just focusing on the fits as such :)
This is what it's all about!!
You make a lot of really good points. It's so true that fashion does affect how we feels about ourselves. This is one reason I find it hard working full time in a place that requires a uniform.
I think this is such an important video! Clothes really do make that difference. I’m def suffering from post grad depression, but tryna keep entertained and in touch with my friends helping. Pvv
Raphael Varane is that you?
#pvv
i've seen a short video of a guy talking about how to decline the stress of the past and the future and how to truely be active in the now. it really changed my mind and so i really thought for a long time what factors can influence the stress we are going through and how we become more chill. seeing this video, it really is important to have an own style you like and to wear clothes in which you truely live in the now. thank you for opening my eyes again!!
Loved it!
duuuuude my man using clips from Dope, I love that movie, great choice for the theme of your video, too
Such a good movie!
Wow that was very eye opening😍amazing video.
Yes! Also, not only does a put together affect your mental frame… it also is a gift you give to others and can brighten their day as well.
As a dancer for the longest time I did not pay that much attention to my clothing. Sure I tried to match but without much intent. As of late I have noticed what a difference it makes when you put thought into your clothing. I feel much more confident when dancing in clothes that I feel comfortable with. It took way too long to learn that because I be putting thought into my clothes when I go outside with friends. Thanks for the Video!
I have a pretty significant and chronic self hate problem... BUT! When I'm dripped out? With a swanky hair cut? Man oh man I feel different, untouchable.
The upkeep of said look is the only reason I don't do it all the time😅 (also probably down to the slow creep of the Selbsthass)
Anyway GREAT video, bruv.
Really liked this video! In my family/close social circles, fashion is usually regarded as something shallow and consumerist. Some of the most important factors of acquiring new clothes are usually the price and quality, with the expectance to be able to wear a given piece for as long as possible. Although I still consider these factors important, clearly there's much, much more to it! The sense of identity and its consequences, feeling good with what you're wearing, etc. Thanks for this! :)
It's funny to hear someone talk about colors as a goth 🤣 still, it's a very interesting video
What do I think about romanticizing my life? Oh that it's very necessary for me, especially atm. I feel like a rag studying and working all day at home in my pjs, but if I goth up I can suddenly feel amazing again (pvv) I am studying a very hard exam to work for the State national Library in my country and it's very difficult and hard to study by myself. A lot of reclusion time and it's taking a toll, so yeah, I do need some rom-rom of my life atm
toxic "don't take things, yourself so seriously". wtf, why would I want to make meaningless things even more meaningless? what would surviving, doing anything be for then?
Such a terrific message and a GREAT video.
Ps. You said á bientôt at the end the French are MASTERS of understanding this. And it’s not about “high fashion” it’s just about taking care of one appearance as a non-verbal communication to the world. It’s delightful.
Example Once in Paris I saw this older gentleman waiting for the metro. He was wearing a simple outfit of a plain shirt and pants. But the pants had a thin mint green stripe down the side. This matched the mint green small shopping bag that he had brought with him for the trip. Just seeing him delighted me so much because I could instantly recognize the care that he had taken in getting ready that day because he would be out in the world being seen.
Some say what we wear isn’t important. But the image of that moment seeing him there on the platform has stuck with me to this day. 🥰
Maintaining friendships has been hard for me. Texting especially!! I’ve only been able to keep close with people i see in real life at school:(
Answering the mental health question: my latest hurdle is psychosis. Mine is mild and medicated but it’s still scary and lonely. Society stigmatizes and simultaneously doesn’t yet understand this mind state. It’s not entirely negative, but it is often treated as such in western medicine. I have come down from my most destructive “manic state” which included not sleeping well or often, and voraciously creating content for my social media accounts. I was aware not to share anything too opinionated or too personal- but I produced a large volume of content, usually rivaled by larger content creators. Some of my delusions included believing I was psychically attuned to “spirit guides” and receiving messages via synchronicities and tarot cards. Arguably, these delusions were pretty tame. But they still impacted my self esteem. Despite no longer feeling manic, I cannot tell where my delusions begin and my hobbies stop. Reading between the lines seems dangerous at this time, and I’m doing all I can to stay sane. Thanks for giving me a place to answer this question honestly. I enjoyed your video!
Great video!
I think the other thing to highlight that you touched on, is this mindset changes the relationship you have with your clothes in many different ways. When you have a more meaningful connection to what you’re wearing, you care for your things better, you become more intentional about how you buy, and mindful of when and what you buy.
I just finished reading a book called, “A Worn: A People’s History of Clothing, and I love how it talks about how we’ve lost that connection to what we wear. We’ve forgotten about the work and the thousands of people behind the scenes making the things that are intimately on our bodies.
Watching this feels weird since all my clothes are very dull colored Uniqlos haha. I'm envious of people bold enough to make fashion statements. Still, comfy clothes do put my mind at ease, I guess!
No way you literally put a clip from INSECURE when talking about how some clothing can make you feel insecure
rediscovering a basic feature of more complex intelligent life forms - sensory feedback influences behaviours! I'm already out of touch with the physical world and this half generation younger is even further gone.
Why go to therapy when I have “staple confidence boosters”😂great vid Drew 💯
😂 no need
What mental health struggles have I had recently? Anxiety - I get bullied a lot and I get used/taken advantage a lot. I’m an older student (changing my career) and I’m a foreigner in this country.
I've been struggling with anxiety recently. My job cut my hours and im not sure how im going to afford the basics. finding a job has been unsuccessful so far but gotta keep the faith. #pvv
It is an underrated cheat code, but I mostly like wearing comfy and casual, then super fancy clothes, in which I may look good, but that's just not me.
I just can't feel confident in sweaters , hoodies, plain t-shirts. Whenever I go out I try to wear something more "fancy"
#pvv tbh, for me its just feeling like I don’t have enough time to do what I want to do at my own pace. And then whenever I do get enough time I become lazy. The dilemma of a procrastinator.