"God, if you're there listening to my song I want to be reborn worthy They say you don't make mistakes so do you just hate me?" Well damn. That's a feel.
I've questioned myself this my whole life, as to why is my life growing up is shitty with uncaring parents and getting bullied. And I would have to think as to why God gave me a unfair life while I watch others go freely..
*sees the comments on how people relate to this* No, you're all my children now, I'm adopting all of you Edit: I'm seeing a new rush of children for me to hug so I just want to let you know I feel you and will bake you many cookies
LETS GOOOOO ITS THE 6 YR ANNIVERSARY OF FAILURE GIRL 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 i know literally no one will see this but i'm simply paying my respects to one of my favorite covers, thank you oktavia for this fucking banger a little too relatable i hope things have started looking up since you posted this, you deserve it and i still adore your voice just the same as i did when i first discovered your content.
This song is sort of relatable to me since they(people) do tell me I fail at the things I do, but it's usually me that tell myself these things This is a great song and I love playing it. Your voice is softer than the other covers making it more ___________ I like it
Look at that, I made a mistake again You can tell I’ve lost count with the red pen It’s a fact, theses scars still reveal Despite how I’ve tried forcing them to heal See with that, they say ignorance is bliss Playing dumb, I’ve really gotten good at this It’s a fact, they’ll say whatever ‘bout me How I’m unwanted and loved by nobody Bruised before you, the pain the pain Have to push through the pain the pain Bid my breath adieu, the pain the pain hurts so* Everybody tells me I’m a failure, there’s no reason to even show me love No matter whatever I do, it falls short of enough i-I-I just have to try and fake through the whole way If I smile abidingly, would then it be okay? Look at that, seems I’ve scraped my skin again You can tell I’ve lost count of times fallen It’s a fact, theses traumas still reveal Despite all my tries to still conceal See with that, I’ll pretend nothing’s amiss Holding it in, I’ve gotten good at this It’s a fact, they’ll say whatever they think I feel their hatred covering me With choking feelings, I’m quaking quaking Self loathing, I’m shaking shaking Suffocating, still faking faking I’m whole Everybody tells me I’m a failure, there’s no reason to even show me love No matter whatever I do, I’ll still be the victim i-I-I still wonder why I breathe in the first place If I smile more naturally, would that make it all okay? God if you’re there listening to my song, then please, I want to be reborn worthy They say you don’t make mistakes, so do you just hate me? Crying my eyes dry, my heartbeat turns to a lullaby Maybe, maybe, when morning comes, I’ll smile for the first time So my life of failed attempts, ‘Till tomorrow, goodbye
the line about the red pen hits harder when you know there's a superstition in japan about how writing someone's name in red ink will shorten their life. this is because the name of the deceased is written in red in the family register and funeral banners. so, considering the implications of the end of the song... ouch.
never heard this song before, i guess i should really get more acquainted with karakiri bear's stuff, since this is amazing. but wow, those lyrics... they definitely resonate. though i'm not familiar with the original, i like the flow and emotion your lyrics have here. and your voice! the choruses were especially beautiful. nice work!
LYRICS: Look at that. I made a mistake again. You can tell I've lost count with the red pen. It's a fact, these scars still reveal despite how I've tried forcing them to heal. See with that, they say ignorance is bliss. Playing dumb, I've really gotten good at this. It's a fact, they'll say whatever 'bout me. How I'm unwanted and loved by nobody. Bruised before you, the pain, the pain. Have to push through the pain, the pain. Bid my breath ado, the pain, the pain hurts so. Everybody tell me I'm a failure, there's no reason to even show me love... No matter whatever I do it falls short of enough. I-I-I just have to try and fake through the whole way if I smile abidingly, would then it be okay? ~ Look at that, seems I've scraped my skin again you can tell I've lost count of times fallen. It's a fact, these traumas still reveal despite all my tries to still conceal See with that, I'll pretend nothings amiss Holding it in, I've gotten good at this. It's a fact, they'll say whatever they think. I feel this hatred covering me. With choking feelings, I'm quaking, quaking. Self loathing, I'm shaking, shaking. Suffocating, still faking, faking I'm whole. Everybody tells me I'm a failure there's no reason to even show me love... No matter whatever I do, I'll still be the victim. I-I-I still wonder why I breathe in the first place. If I smile more naturally, would that make it all okay? ~ God if you're there listening to my song, then please, I want to be reborn worthy. They say you don't make mistakes, so do you just hate me? Crying my eyes dry, My heart beat turns to a lullaby. Maybe, maybe, when morning comes, I'll smile for the first time. So my life of failed attempts, 'till tomorrow goodbye. WOAH that took time to type out, and I hope you are doing ok
I know this is an old comment, but yeah, I think you/Oktavia should do Mind Brand, whether it be Japanese or English. I think you/she could handle the range and I think it would be beautiful.
“If I smile abidingly would then it be okay?” Damn that hits pretty hard on my side. People always said I was ungrateful and I shouldn’t harm myself they called me annoying and a bitch. My mother even agrees with them! But then I started smiling more and she started respecting me. Even though it hurts to smile all the time I never tell anyone how I feel.
OMG i LOVE your covers,you always cover the songs that i love and also LOVE SO MUCH your voice :3 also i dont know if im just looking too much at it but most of the Kairiki Bear PVs the "protagonist" of the songs are always looking to the side like they dont want to make eye contact with people (us the viewers in the case) but then theres Heart Nonsense and the "protag" is looking at our eyes because she doesn't care anymore she just wants someone help.......or im just crazy xD i really dont know xD but it was something that i noticed and found interesting xD
Oktavia von Seckendorff Oh really,i thought i was just too much at nothing 😅 but im happy that this little detail bring more life to the song and that i could be of some help to make the story of the song more rich and im happy you like my little theory :3 also keep being awsome sweety ;3
this song hits differrent when ur home alone and you finish online school gets done and you can sing at the top of your lungs and play this outloud, thank you for making this :)
When I first started selfharming, I found this song. It helped me to vent a lot. Five years later I’m in recovery from it and listened to this whenever I get the urge, and helps me to stop. A lot of your covers have helped me so much throughout these past few years and I wanted to thank you ^_^
awkward_on_all_levels i feel like people usually have a thing for the loli sounding voices in the anime/manga community. (which is sorta sad imo.) And moe/cute/feel good songs. I love oktavia's voice though, especially for these songs.
absolutely, I agree with you on this. My favourite cover artists on youtube for these songs are people like Oktavia, Mikutan etc and so on- and they have more powerful stronger (and deeper than the loli sounding voices) in my opinion. and It stands true to all of them. For some reason people just seem to favour the loli and higher pitched singers when it comes to vocaloid covers. Maybe its to do with sounding like the originals? because they are sung robotically by vocaloids and generally in higher tones? Either way its very sad because these singers are amazingly talented and gifted with gorgeous powerful tones that I wish more people could appreciate. It could also be that weve reached a time where the western fanbase for vocaloid type covers has dwindled a lot. for example with the bigger names like juby and liz etc you can see a significant fall in views in some of their latest songs. Its really a shame though :( Still amazing artist Oktavia is and hopefully people like us can continue to support and watch her as she grows (as she is bound to one way or another :) )
Damn, it just always impress me how just a song can relate so much. I'm just 15 and have still 2 years till I can attend to college. Well that is if I make it. I feel constant as a failure because I realize how smart I am but I'm to stupid to be smart. I'm lazy but I don't do anything about it. My parents and probably others have high expectations me, but I feel like a failure and because of myself I become a failure because I don't do anything about it. When I look at others they are way better than me and could achieve way more than me because they have the will to do it, meanwhile I'm just lazy to accomplish anything. I just feel like a constant failure
"It's a fact these scars revel despite how I try to force them to heal." "It's a fact these traumas still revel despite all my tries to still conceal." Those lines I could very much relate to. I always harmed myself and when my mother see's my scars she get's pissed that I am not grateful. Plus my older sibling was raped and I always applied the blame onto myself. My mother says she can't get a boyfriend because it always hurt me or makes me traumatized. It' s not just stop getting with people who are creeps or abusive!!
All of these new covers have been so good! I definitely love these kinds of songs just as much as the loud and intense ones. Thank you so much for sharing, as always!
a lot of great symbolism and meaning in this. The scissors mean she's constantly cutting things apart, but it causes a lot of inner tension (the cracks) and it's like they're constantly missing something, becoming imperfect in the process. The picture is divided between black and white because the decision to confront has lead to a lot of understanding, but it's like something is always lacking- what's in between. The scissors miss out on something behind them (the green- which means love and blue, which holds meaning) and this is in a quest of self discovery while drowning in the self-hatred that others have taught her. "There's no reason to show me love" but this brings inner tension because she knows she deserves it. The measuring tape circles around her in approval because she knows she's actually pretty good, she just doesn't know how it all fits together. "I wonder why I breathe" her heart is beating, but barely enough to feel, but the more she feels the more she's forced to confront things. "If I smile more naturally, would that make it all okay?" She senses there's something about positivity and naturalness that's the key, and that's exactly right. The key is to not see these things- love, joy, approval- as some kind of destination. After a lifetime of being withheld love she's started to withhold it from herself, but this is not right. Love isn't something you earn. Everybody disserves it, regardless of what they are or what they do, because you separate the actions from the person and you don't hate the person themselves. The same is true of joy- it is in all things, in this song, which has brought so much meaning and understanding. The most negative experiences can become something positive that moves you forward. It's always a conflict of being dark but seeing the light or being light but not seeing the darkness. You just have to master your own positivity and be able to speed up your thoughts with optimism, which will prevent you from being as lovably deep all of the time, but you can interact with others and prevent yourself from seeing negativity that doesn't necessarily exist. Then you can interact with them in a meaningful way and bring them joy, and many of your own demons that might just have been your own creation will disappear. Then you can switch between them at will- negativity for seeing the way forward, positivity for conversing with others and getting through things. In my opinion, that is enlightenment
I've been listening this cover for years and I want to say thank you so much for creating this🥺💗This song has become my comfort music that I listen whenever I feel anxious and upset.💗
This is a beautiful cover, thank you for covering one of my fav songs (yeah i know the feeling of wanting to cover others in a blanket and hand them a slice of cake and help them but it would be hypocritical cause you cant even love yourself or convince yourself that your worth it.)
Lyrics (copy and pasted from link in description): Look at that, I made a mistake again You can tell I’ve lost count with the red pen It’s a fact, theses scars still reveal Despite how I’ve tried forcing them to heal See with that, they say ignorance is bliss Playing dumb, I’ve really gotten good at this It’s a fact, they’ll say whatever ‘bout me How I’m unwanted and loved by nobody Bruised before you, the pain the pain Have to push through the pain the pain Bid my breath adieu, the pain the pain hurts so* Everybody tells me I’m a failure, there’s no reason to even show me love No matter whatever I do, it falls short of enough i-I-I just have to try and fake through the whole way If I smile abidingly, would then it be okay? Look at that, seems I’ve scraped my skin again You can tell I’ve lost count of times fallen It’s a fact, theses traumas still reveal Despite all my tries to still conceal See with that, I’ll pretend nothing’s amiss Holding it in, I’ve gotten good at this It’s a fact, they’ll say whatever they think I feel their hatred covering me With choking feelings, I’m quaking quaking Self loathing, I’m shaking shaking Suffocating, still faking faking I’m whole Everybody tells me I’m a failure, there’s no reason to even show me love No matter whatever I do, I’ll still be the victim i-I-I still wonder why I breathe in the first place If I smile more naturally, would that make it all okay? God if you’re there listening to my song, then please, I want to be reborn worthy They say you don’t make mistakes, so do you just hate me? Crying my eyes dry, my heartbeat turns to a lullaby Maybe, maybe, when morning comes, I’ll smile for the first time So my life of failed attempts, ‘Till tomorrow, goodbye
OMG THIS SONG KEEPS DROPPING OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH I FOUND IT AGAIN I feel so bad for people looking for this and just like me can't find T.T It hurts so
Hace poco que eh estado viendo algunos de tus fandubs... Y debo decir que tienes una hermosa voz♡ hasta ahora no hay fandub que no me guste, excelentes adaptaciones
i swear i'll die for you to have an spotify account where you post your covers so i can listen to them more often and make good playlists with your music
THIS HITS ME IN THE CHEST SO HARD God if you're there listening to my song, then please, I WANT TO BE REBORN WORTHY. They say you don't make mistakes, so do you just hate me?
This is a wonderful cover of a great song. Good jog. A sad song, that I unfortunately also relate to like many people here...keep your chins up everyone, I believe in you.
I honestly perceive this song about intense self-loathing, and I kind of relate. It sucks even more that my self-hate started quite young, about 4th grade, although quite minimal. Well anyway, I like this cover, and one of my favorites after your english cover of Hated by Life Itself.
God now this is bringing back memories of how my parents would get really angry and shout at me for crying cause I used to cry a lot. To be fair it was my fault since I burst out crying while we were walking outside, she genuinely trained me to smile if there's other people around but apperently it still looks awkward so I'm still practicing lol... Yeah this whole song is just... This sounds really selfish and self centered but it's because I am, but everytime I hear this I can't help but feel it was written specifically with me in mind... (I'm really really sorry for rambling on so ungratefully you don't have to read that all)
First of all, you don't have to feel guilty for crying or venting. It's okay to feel not okay and show your emotions. Your mother is in the wrong one, you don't have to smile when you feel pain. I hope it gets better for you. Never blame yourself for something like this. You matter ❤
"Look at that, seems I’ve scraped my skin again You can tell I’ve lost count of times fallen It’s a fact, theses traumas still reveal Despite all my tries to still conceal See with that, I’ll pretend nothing’s amiss Holding it in, I’ve gotten good at this It’s a fact, they’ll say whatever they think I feel their hatred covering me" is it a bad thing I relate a little too much to this verse...?
Yeah I could relate to this a lot. I use to be bullied in 3rd grade and Kindergarten. Many people would call me a failure but for me I am now in 7th grade no longer having people be satisfied. They always ask me “what happen to my happy little girl” I am a boy -_- and I harm myself a lot just got done doing it 2 hours ago I have so many scars and use cream that claims to help but it won’t heal the scars no matter how hard I try. Teachers don’t like me I am lonely and doesn’t have many people to speak to. When people ask me “What’s wrong?” I play dumb and pretend nothin is only so I don’t bother them. You can say your okay so easily I realized. And now I can’t even seem to do anything right. What ever I do no one seems happy with it I feel like a failure due to this. Honestly I think if I smile more it will make them more happy than they are. At least I hope it does..
Oktavia I see so many comments in your songs where people correct you on something and you always end up explaining how what you did is actually really smart and honestly I don't see how people even question you anymore.
why the fuck did this in specific have to play right when i was in a depressive mood istg youtube really is coming for me, but im always in the mood for Oktavia's AMAZING covers even if this one specific really hits me in the gut. this truly is a blessing and curse istg
WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD AT SINGING!!! AHHHHHHHHH XD STOP BEING AN AMAZING SINGER IT'S UNFAIR!!! AHAHAHA BUT I DO LOVE YOUR SONGS SO MUCH!!! I KEEP LOOPING THEMMMMMMM IT'S STARTING TO MAKE ME JEALOUS!!!! GAHHHHHH!!! -NC
if anybody wants, here’s a rough translation of the japanese one in comparison to this!! ah, look, I made a mistake again with this, how many times has it been? hey, look, no matter how much i try to close it up, the gaping scars pop out again ah, look, i deceived them again , pretending not to see, pretty good right? ugh, look, whatever is said to me, nobody wishes for me to be here my wounds laid bare, it hurts it hurts i pretend to be tough, but it hurts it hurts i’m choking, it hurts it hurts y’know.. they say that i’m a “failed work” that i’m unwanted whatever i do, even if i try, it seems to be helpless. i just want love, love, love; but it seems like i have to fake my way to get there i wonder if it would be better if i smiled more? ah, look, i got scraped again, with this, how many times is it? hey, look, even though i try hard to hide it, the trauma comes oozing out ah, look, i held it back again, i’m pretty good at keeping a clear expression, right? ugh, look, whatever is being said about me i’m just covered in their disdain and bruises. this feeling of suffocation makes me quiver this inferiority complex causes my dizziness this suffocation leaves me empty inside they say that i’m a “failed work” that i’m unwanted whatever i do, even if i try, it seems to be no good i really want some meaning to being born, maybe if i smiled more naturally it would be better? dear god, if i am able to be born again i wish to become somebody who is loved. when i cry myself out, my pulse turns into a lullaby for sure, tomorrow i’ll be able to smile, right? goodbye, to my life full of mistakes (correct me if i made any mistakes!)
This song really describes my mental state. I'm lucky enough to have people that'll love me no matter what. Everything I do is planned and acted accordingly to the situation. so that the fear of being hated and shunned for having a different opinion is lessened. For me, everything seems like a lie, a part of me manipulating myself and others to the point I'm not sure whether the personality I leave in this comment is my face or a mask sewn on. I'm pretty sure it is. Anyways, My life is too tangled up in this way of life so like the hypocrite I am I'll say this: Don't try to be someone you're not, It's not fun, It has a lot of downsides and eventually you may end up like me. Faking smiles and saying I love something only for the sweet people to do something for you that you actually hate. Be yourself.
"I just have to try and fake through the whole way If i smile abidingly, would then it be ok?" This line just...sticks with me a lot I'm not very good at showing emotions, and i just seem kinda zoned out most of the time, so i'm told often things like "You should smile more!" or "You should be more expressive!" when it's difficult for me to do so. I feel like i have to show something, _anything_ , or i'll just be ignored or avoided.
Oktavia: posts a song cover that's kinda sad
Everyone: lmao me af
Oktavia: you weren't supposed to do that
lmao same tho
Lol so sad yet true
We are all pogchamps inside with major oof moments.
@@kyuokuo this genuinely made happy and idk why-
But...same Miku
"God, if you're there
listening to my song I want to be reborn worthy
They say you don't make mistakes
so do you just hate me?"
Well damn.
That's a feel.
Ssme-
Same
I've questioned myself this my whole life, as to why is my life growing up is shitty with uncaring parents and getting bullied. And I would have to think as to why God gave me a unfair life while I watch others go freely..
That hit so hard. Hating yourself enough to believe that even the one up above doesn't love you.
slowly puts down red pen I was using
Levana Red I have a pink one does that count?
@@queenalice7483close enough
1 year for a response lmao 😭😭
バツ....バツ....これもバツ.....🤯
*sees the comments on how people relate to this*
No, you're all my children now, I'm adopting all of you
Edit: I'm seeing a new rush of children for me to hug so I just want to let you know I feel you and will bake you many cookies
Akemi Chan Thank you..mom..?
zarina vina *hugs*
You're welcome
Akemi Chan _hug_ ♥
Thank you😭
Akemi Chan I didn't make a comment, but relate. Can I still have a hug?
The lows of severe depressive disorder in a nutshell. I hope those smilies in your description weren't gestures of self deception!
im sorry, but what??
@@turtlesquare7174 was there anything confusing about it, it's pretty obvious
That's severe depressive disorder?
Oh.
Oh no.
:)
Can confirm
sCREAMS AT THIS
BLESS YOU AND YOUR VOICE
I'm late responding but THANK YOU!!!
"let's all cry togheter" I got my hankercief, has anyone tissues?
*gives ya tissues
Here you are ;-;
Mine•exe :3 thank you
*donates a costco box pack of tissues*
Your grammar reminds me of my life. Crappy.
@@AlexTorres-hj2je you remind me of my teachers, rude.
LETS GOOOOO ITS THE 6 YR ANNIVERSARY OF FAILURE GIRL 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 i know literally no one will see this but i'm simply paying my respects to one of my favorite covers, thank you oktavia for this fucking banger a little too relatable
i hope things have started looking up since you posted this, you deserve it and i still adore your voice just the same as i did when i first discovered your content.
omg and this was 6 months ago
@@nissnynassdamn if i only where here 4 days ago
oooo this was 1 year ago
Nuh uh (to your ‘no one will see this’)
I'VE BEEN OFFLINE FOR 3 DAYS AND I COME BACK TO YOU POSTING A COVER AAAAAA
It sounds awesome!
THANK YOU YOPPY ❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎
This song is sort of relatable to me since they(people) do tell me I fail at the things I do, but it's usually me that tell myself these things
This is a great song and I love playing it. Your voice is softer than the other covers making it more ___________ I like it
We're the same. I want to give you a hug and hope you feel better.
Look at that, I made a mistake again
You can tell I’ve lost count with the red pen
It’s a fact, theses scars still reveal
Despite how I’ve tried forcing them to heal
See with that, they say ignorance is bliss
Playing dumb, I’ve really gotten good at this
It’s a fact, they’ll say whatever ‘bout me
How I’m unwanted and loved by nobody
Bruised before you, the pain the pain
Have to push through the pain the pain
Bid my breath adieu, the pain the pain hurts so*
Everybody tells me I’m a failure, there’s no reason to even show me love
No matter whatever I do, it falls short of enough
i-I-I just have to try and fake through the whole way
If I smile abidingly, would then it be okay?
Look at that, seems I’ve scraped my skin again
You can tell I’ve lost count of times fallen
It’s a fact, theses traumas still reveal
Despite all my tries to still conceal
See with that, I’ll pretend nothing’s amiss
Holding it in, I’ve gotten good at this
It’s a fact, they’ll say whatever they think
I feel their hatred covering me
With choking feelings, I’m quaking quaking
Self loathing, I’m shaking shaking
Suffocating, still faking faking I’m whole
Everybody tells me I’m a failure, there’s no reason to even show me love
No matter whatever I do, I’ll still be the victim
i-I-I still wonder why I breathe in the first place
If I smile more naturally, would that make it all okay?
God if you’re there listening to my song, then please, I want to be reborn worthy
They say you don’t make mistakes, so do you just hate me?
Crying my eyes dry, my heartbeat turns to a lullaby
Maybe, maybe, when morning comes, I’ll smile for the first time
So my life of failed attempts,
‘Till tomorrow, goodbye
Moist Bread thanks
Thank you
🙏 😊
Virgo Lyrics much
the line about the red pen hits harder when you know there's a superstition in japan about how writing someone's name in red ink will shorten their life. this is because the name of the deceased is written in red in the family register and funeral banners. so, considering the implications of the end of the song... ouch.
I just realized all of your thumbnails have grief seeds
It’s taken me so long to realize this because of your comment
they what
@@sevengnomesinatrenchcoat in Madoka Magica, when a magical girl becomes a witch her soul turns into a grief seed
OMG I JUST REALIZED
never heard this song before, i guess i should really get more acquainted with karakiri bear's stuff, since this is amazing. but wow, those lyrics... they definitely resonate. though i'm not familiar with the original, i like the flow and emotion your lyrics have here. and your voice! the choruses were especially beautiful. nice work!
LYRICS:
Look at that. I made a mistake again.
You can tell I've lost count with the red pen.
It's a fact, these scars still reveal
despite how I've tried forcing them to heal.
See with that, they say ignorance is bliss.
Playing dumb, I've really gotten good at this.
It's a fact, they'll say whatever 'bout me.
How I'm unwanted and loved by nobody.
Bruised before you,
the pain, the pain.
Have to push through
the pain, the pain.
Bid my breath ado,
the pain, the pain hurts so.
Everybody tell me I'm a failure, there's no
reason to even show me love...
No matter whatever I do
it falls short of enough.
I-I-I just have to try and
fake through the whole way
if I smile abidingly,
would then it be okay?
~
Look at that, seems I've scraped my skin again
you can tell I've lost count of times fallen.
It's a fact, these traumas still reveal
despite all my tries to still conceal
See with that, I'll pretend nothings amiss
Holding it in, I've gotten good at this.
It's a fact, they'll say whatever they think.
I feel this hatred covering me.
With choking feelings, I'm
quaking, quaking.
Self loathing, I'm
shaking, shaking.
Suffocating, still
faking, faking I'm whole.
Everybody tells me I'm a failure there's no
reason to even show me love...
No matter whatever I do,
I'll still be the victim.
I-I-I still wonder why
I breathe in the first place.
If I smile more naturally,
would that make it all okay?
~
God if you're there
listening to my song, then please, I want to be reborn worthy.
They say you don't make mistakes,
so do you just hate me?
Crying my eyes dry,
My heart beat turns to a lullaby.
Maybe, maybe, when morning comes,
I'll smile for the first time.
So my life of failed attempts,
'till tomorrow goodbye.
WOAH that took time to type out, and I hope you are doing ok
u should make a english cover on mind brand
I know this is an old comment, but yeah, I think you/Oktavia should do Mind Brand, whether it be Japanese or English. I think you/she could handle the range and I think it would be beautiful.
Yessss
F U C K Y E S.
I know all of these are old, but she did it 😂
@@wistera8080 wait oktavia did it already?? I can't find it :((
“If I smile abidingly would then it be okay?”
Damn that hits pretty hard on my side. People always said I was ungrateful and I shouldn’t harm myself they called me annoying and a bitch. My mother even agrees with them! But then I started smiling more and she started respecting me. Even though it hurts to smile all the time I never tell anyone how I feel.
OMG i LOVE your covers,you always cover the songs that i love and also LOVE SO MUCH your voice :3 also i dont know if im just looking too much at it but most of the Kairiki Bear PVs the "protagonist" of the songs are always looking to the side like they dont want to make eye contact with people (us the viewers in the case) but then theres Heart Nonsense and the "protag" is looking at our eyes because she doesn't care anymore she just wants someone help.......or im just crazy xD i really dont know xD but it was something that i noticed and found interesting xD
Wow, I actually never noticed that but... WOW OKAY THAT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE
Oktavia von Seckendorff Oh really,i thought i was just too much at nothing 😅 but im happy that this little detail bring more life to the song and that i could be of some help to make the story of the song more rich and im happy you like my little theory :3 also keep being awsome sweety ;3
This cover carried me throughout its entire lifespan. Little me looped this song so often. Returning feels so nostalgic and like home.
this song hits differrent when ur home alone and you finish online school gets done and you can sing at the top of your lungs and play this outloud, thank you for making this :)
When I first started selfharming, I found this song. It helped me to vent a lot. Five years later I’m in recovery from it and listened to this whenever I get the urge, and helps me to stop.
A lot of your covers have helped me so much throughout these past few years and I wanted to thank you ^_^
how are you not famous yet?
awkward_on_all_levels i feel like people usually have a thing for the loli sounding voices in the anime/manga community. (which is sorta sad imo.) And moe/cute/feel good songs. I love oktavia's voice though, especially for these songs.
absolutely, I agree with you on this.
My favourite cover artists on youtube for these songs are people like Oktavia, Mikutan etc and so on- and they have more powerful stronger (and deeper than the loli sounding voices) in my opinion.
and It stands true to all of them. For some reason people just seem to favour the loli and higher pitched singers when it comes to vocaloid covers. Maybe its to do with sounding like the originals? because they are sung robotically by vocaloids and generally in higher tones?
Either way its very sad because these singers are amazingly talented and gifted with gorgeous powerful tones that I wish more people could appreciate.
It could also be that weve reached a time where the western fanbase for vocaloid type covers has dwindled a lot. for example with the bigger names like juby and liz etc you can see a significant fall in views in some of their latest songs. Its really a shame though :(
Still amazing artist Oktavia is and hopefully people like us can continue to support and watch her as she grows (as she is bound to one way or another :) )
Because TH-cam's algorithms are utter crap that's why.
ShirohiOfficial who knows
Damn, it just always impress me how just a song can relate so much. I'm just 15 and have still 2 years till I can attend to college. Well that is if I make it. I feel constant as a failure because I realize how smart I am but I'm to stupid to be smart. I'm lazy but I don't do anything about it. My parents and probably others have high expectations me, but I feel like a failure and because of myself I become a failure because I don't do anything about it. When I look at others they are way better than me and could achieve way more than me because they have the will to do it, meanwhile I'm just lazy to accomplish anything. I just feel like a constant failure
You just perfectly described how I feel
Hope you’re doing ok and have a nice day
damn did i write this
same, man
The feeling of knowing someone there is having the same problem as me is insane
same but u also have the feeling that u could just disappear and nothing would change
歌詞の訳し方もなるほどなぁって感じだし歌い方も好き
you're my absolute fav cover artist aaaaa??? you cover like the best stuff and your voice is always top notch
I love the timbre of your voice ugh
Me when the adhd starts adhding
0:27 PowaPowa P's Please Give Me a Red Pen... this lyric really hit me ;-; Still not over his death.
melonie yea me too 0:48 that one really got me ;-;
"It's a fact these scars revel despite how I try to force them to heal." "It's a fact these traumas still revel despite all my tries to still conceal."
Those lines I could very much relate to. I always harmed myself and when my mother see's my scars she get's pissed that I am not grateful. Plus my older sibling was raped and I always applied the blame onto myself. My mother says she can't get a boyfriend because it always hurt me or makes me traumatized. It' s not just stop getting with people who are creeps or abusive!!
All of these new covers have been so good! I definitely love these kinds of songs just as much as the loud and intense ones. Thank you so much for sharing, as always!
a lot of great symbolism and meaning in this. The scissors mean she's constantly cutting things apart, but it causes a lot of inner tension (the cracks) and it's like they're constantly missing something, becoming imperfect in the process. The picture is divided between black and white because the decision to confront has lead to a lot of understanding, but it's like something is always lacking- what's in between. The scissors miss out on something behind them (the green- which means love and blue, which holds meaning) and this is in a quest of self discovery while drowning in the self-hatred that others have taught her. "There's no reason to show me love" but this brings inner tension because she knows she deserves it. The measuring tape circles around her in approval because she knows she's actually pretty good, she just doesn't know how it all fits together. "I wonder why I breathe" her heart is beating, but barely enough to feel, but the more she feels the more she's forced to confront things. "If I smile more naturally, would that make it all okay?" She senses there's something about positivity and naturalness that's the key, and that's exactly right.
The key is to not see these things- love, joy, approval- as some kind of destination. After a lifetime of being withheld love she's started to withhold it from herself, but this is not right. Love isn't something you earn. Everybody disserves it, regardless of what they are or what they do, because you separate the actions from the person and you don't hate the person themselves. The same is true of joy- it is in all things, in this song, which has brought so much meaning and understanding. The most negative experiences can become something positive that moves you forward. It's always a conflict of being dark but seeing the light or being light but not seeing the darkness. You just have to master your own positivity and be able to speed up your thoughts with optimism, which will prevent you from being as lovably deep all of the time, but you can interact with others and prevent yourself from seeing negativity that doesn't necessarily exist. Then you can interact with them in a meaningful way and bring them joy, and many of your own demons that might just have been your own creation will disappear. Then you can switch between them at will- negativity for seeing the way forward, positivity for conversing with others and getting through things. In my opinion, that is enlightenment
How did I only find this until now!? You have such a beautiful voice!
I've been listening this cover for years and I want to say thank you so much for creating this🥺💗This song has become my comfort music that I listen whenever I feel anxious and upset.💗
This is a beautiful cover, thank you for covering one of my fav songs (yeah i know the feeling of wanting to cover others in a blanket and hand them a slice of cake and help them but it would be hypocritical cause you cant even love yourself or convince yourself that your worth it.)
still a bop 5 years later thank u
Lyrics (copy and pasted from link in description):
Look at that, I made a mistake again
You can tell I’ve lost count with the red pen
It’s a fact, theses scars still reveal
Despite how I’ve tried forcing them to heal
See with that, they say ignorance is bliss
Playing dumb, I’ve really gotten good at this
It’s a fact, they’ll say whatever ‘bout me
How I’m unwanted and loved by nobody
Bruised before you, the pain the pain
Have to push through the pain the pain
Bid my breath adieu, the pain the pain hurts so*
Everybody tells me I’m a failure, there’s no reason to even show me love
No matter whatever I do, it falls short of enough
i-I-I just have to try and fake through the whole way
If I smile abidingly, would then it be okay?
Look at that, seems I’ve scraped my skin again
You can tell I’ve lost count of times fallen
It’s a fact, theses traumas still reveal
Despite all my tries to still conceal
See with that, I’ll pretend nothing’s amiss
Holding it in, I’ve gotten good at this
It’s a fact, they’ll say whatever they think
I feel their hatred covering me
With choking feelings, I’m quaking quaking
Self loathing, I’m shaking shaking
Suffocating, still faking faking I’m whole
Everybody tells me I’m a failure, there’s no reason to even show me love
No matter whatever I do, I’ll still be the victim
i-I-I still wonder why I breathe in the first place
If I smile more naturally, would that make it all okay?
God if you’re there listening to my song, then please, I want to be reborn worthy
They say you don’t make mistakes, so do you just hate me?
Crying my eyes dry, my heartbeat turns to a lullaby
Maybe, maybe, when morning comes, I’ll smile for the first time
So my life of failed attempts,
‘Till tomorrow, goodbye
hoW DID I NOT FIND YOU NOW YOUR VOICE IS SO BEAUTIFUL GODDESS
Mmmm
Hate how this song unintentionally lays my whole life out for everybody to see :^)
THANK YOU OKTAVIA YOUR VOICE IS STILL SO BEAUTIFUL
OMG THIS SONG KEEPS DROPPING OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH I FOUND IT AGAIN
I feel so bad for people looking for this and just like me can't find T.T
It hurts so
stop reading my mind
we all have problems and we all have ways to cope. I'd have to say that watching your vids is definitely a new favorite!
You've been putting in work this past month! Another great cover!
Hace poco que eh estado viendo algunos de tus fandubs... Y debo decir que tienes una hermosa voz♡ hasta ahora no hay fandub que no me guste, excelentes adaptaciones
This deserves so much more attention man
I love how your voice sounds like something that could be a part of RWBY, when I still used to watch that show anyways.
Damn throughout the video the girl starts crying
my heart
yippee 7th anniversary of cover
i hope everyone's doing okay
So the entirety of my life so far, and whatever´s left of it, can be summarized in a 3 minutes and 17 seconds song.
Huh.
raodekia I hate my life I always have and I still have 6 years at least of hating it left
i swear i'll die for you to have an spotify account where you post your covers so i can listen to them more often and make good playlists with your music
tfw you are only 13 and you already relate to this a lot
that feeling when you can't even succeed at failing life despite years of attempts xd
2:20
Ignore this I'm using this for personal reasons
THIS HITS ME IN THE CHEST SO HARD
God if you're there
listening to my song, then please, I WANT TO BE REBORN WORTHY.
They say you don't make mistakes,
so do you just hate me?
AAAAA YOU UPLOADED I love your covers so much and you cover some of the less known songs and I love that aaaa
You're one of my favorite cover artists and I just found you today! You're voice is really good!
THIS
IS
AMAZING
THANK YOU
Me scrolling on TH-cam at 2 am finding a song that perfectly describes my life
OMG THIS COVER IS BACK
Amazing cover! i love your voice it's really beautiful 😍
How did I listen to this in high school and not realize I was going through some massive dysphoria?
Anyone want to make a massive pile of blankets to nest in, while eating ice cream and listening to sad songs?
Your voice is amazing, omg, I love this cover it's fantastic *thumbs up*
This is a wonderful cover of a great song. Good jog. A sad song, that I unfortunately also relate to like many people here...keep your chins up everyone, I believe in you.
Damn- this song is definition of my thoughts-
oh my gosh girl!!! your voice goes so high.. i can see you try your hardest!
I honestly perceive this song about intense self-loathing, and I kind of relate. It sucks even more that my self-hate started quite young, about 4th grade, although quite minimal. Well anyway, I like this cover, and one of my favorites after your english cover of Hated by Life Itself.
Hey I just discovered your channel and you earned yourself a sub. I hope you get the recognition that you deserve and keep up the good work.
Awesome Video! Keep up the great work!
God now this is bringing back memories of how my parents would get really angry and shout at me for crying cause I used to cry a lot. To be fair it was my fault since I burst out crying while we were walking outside, she genuinely trained me to smile if there's other people around but apperently it still looks awkward so I'm still practicing lol... Yeah this whole song is just... This sounds really selfish and self centered but it's because I am, but everytime I hear this I can't help but feel it was written specifically with me in mind... (I'm really really sorry for rambling on so ungratefully you don't have to read that all)
its not selfish sounding ❤
First of all, you don't have to feel guilty for crying or venting. It's okay to feel not okay and show your emotions. Your mother is in the wrong one, you don't have to smile when you feel pain. I hope it gets better for you. Never blame yourself for something like this. You matter ❤
"Look at that, seems I’ve scraped my skin again
You can tell I’ve lost count of times fallen
It’s a fact, theses traumas still reveal
Despite all my tries to still conceal
See with that, I’ll pretend nothing’s amiss
Holding it in, I’ve gotten good at this
It’s a fact, they’ll say whatever they think
I feel their hatred covering me"
is it a bad thing I relate a little too much to this verse...?
DAMNN ur voice is amazing
I'm always waiting for tomorrow
xx jessy at first I wanted to say something like a joke but then I realized I wait for tommorow too. I hate everyday but the night isn't so bad...
Holy shit your voice is amazing!!
This is amazing!!!
(and thanks for giving a link to the Ib ver. of it. I saw it a while ago but I couldn't find it;;)
the double whammy of song, upbeat but sad song
WHY HAVE I NEVER FOUND YOU?! YOU COVER ALL MY FAVORITE SONGS!!
ur voice is amazing!!
This cover was made 20 days after my birthday...
What a mood
Heckadoodle, your voice is really pretty! This is a wonderful cover! Would you mind if I used your lyrics for a cover?
Thank you! And yes, it's totally fine! I'd love to see your cover!
Umm, I'd like to see that, but???
best cover eveerrrrrr
I'll accept a blanket and sweets. :)
I got hooked on your covers through People Allergy. I can tell you that you don't sound forced at all!
have a cookie!
🍪
This song makes me cry badly everytime I listen to it.
This kind of songs make me active and energetic and I dont know why?
this kind of reminds me of myself (the song), also good cover. :)
Halo me too:,)
Oh shizzle I almost relate to all of this :O
Oofie
Yeah I could relate to this a lot. I use to be bullied in 3rd grade and Kindergarten. Many people would call me a failure but for me I am now in 7th grade no longer having people be satisfied. They always ask me “what happen to my happy little girl” I am a boy -_- and I harm myself a lot just got done doing it 2 hours ago I have so many scars and use cream that claims to help but it won’t heal the scars no matter how hard I try. Teachers don’t like me I am lonely and doesn’t have many people to speak to. When people ask me “What’s wrong?” I play dumb and pretend nothin is only so I don’t bother them. You can say your okay so easily I realized. And now I can’t even seem to do anything right. What ever I do no one seems happy with it I feel like a failure due to this. Honestly I think if I smile more it will make them more happy than they are. At least I hope it does..
It actually said "rain" at the beginning.
Yeah, but I decided to translate it as "drip drop" since I felt it was supposed to be like a sound effect!
Oktavia
I see so many comments in your songs where people correct you on something and you always end up explaining how what you did is actually really smart and honestly I don't see how people even question you anymore.
Evna NANI YOU READ KANJI coooool
you have gooooooood taste *wink* one of the two composers i wanted english covers for. now tokotoko. i wish
why the fuck did this in specific have to play right when i was in a depressive mood istg youtube really is coming for me, but im always in the mood for Oktavia's AMAZING covers even if this one specific really hits me in the gut. this truly is a blessing and curse istg
JESUS CHRIST THIS IS FINALLY NOT BLOCKED IN MY COUNTRY!!!
WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD AT SINGING!!! AHHHHHHHHH XD STOP BEING AN AMAZING SINGER IT'S UNFAIR!!! AHAHAHA
BUT I DO LOVE YOUR SONGS SO MUCH!!! I KEEP LOOPING THEMMMMMMM IT'S STARTING TO MAKE ME JEALOUS!!!! GAHHHHHH!!!
-NC
came back to this song after so long to check if i would feel any different. i don't.
if anybody wants, here’s a rough translation of the japanese one in comparison to this!!
ah, look, I made a mistake again
with this, how many times has it been?
hey, look, no matter how much i try to close it up, the gaping scars pop out again
ah, look, i deceived them again ,
pretending not to see, pretty good right?
ugh, look, whatever is said to me, nobody wishes for me to be here
my wounds laid bare, it hurts it hurts
i pretend to be tough, but it hurts it hurts
i’m choking, it hurts it hurts y’know..
they say that i’m a “failed work”
that i’m unwanted
whatever i do, even if i try, it seems to be helpless.
i just want love, love, love; but it seems like i have to fake my way to get there
i wonder if it would be better if i smiled more?
ah, look, i got scraped again,
with this, how many times is it?
hey, look, even though i try hard to hide it, the trauma comes oozing out
ah, look, i held it back again,
i’m pretty good at keeping a clear expression, right?
ugh, look, whatever is being said about me
i’m just covered in their disdain and bruises.
this feeling of suffocation makes me quiver
this inferiority complex causes my dizziness
this suffocation leaves me empty inside
they say that i’m a “failed work”
that i’m unwanted
whatever i do, even if i try,
it seems to be no good
i really want some meaning to being born,
maybe if i smiled more naturally it would be better?
dear god, if i am able to be born again
i wish to become somebody who is loved.
when i cry myself out, my pulse turns into a lullaby
for sure, tomorrow i’ll be able to smile, right?
goodbye, to my life full of mistakes
(correct me if i made any mistakes!)
You cover all of my favorite songs!!!! ^^
IT SOUNDS SO FRKN AWESOME
ITS BACK
YAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS THANK YOU OKTAVIA
This song really describes my mental state. I'm lucky enough to have people that'll love me no matter what. Everything I do is planned and acted accordingly to the situation. so that the fear of being hated and shunned for having a different opinion is lessened.
For me, everything seems like a lie, a part of me manipulating myself and others to the point I'm not sure whether the personality I leave in this comment is my face or a mask sewn on. I'm pretty sure it is.
Anyways, My life is too tangled up in this way of life so like the hypocrite I am I'll say this: Don't try to be someone you're not, It's not fun, It has a lot of downsides and eventually you may end up like me. Faking smiles and saying I love something only for the sweet people to do something for you that you actually hate. Be yourself.
"I just have to try
and fake through the whole way
If i smile abidingly, would then it be ok?"
This line just...sticks with me a lot
I'm not very good at showing emotions, and i just seem kinda zoned out most of the time, so i'm told often things like "You should smile more!" or "You should be more expressive!" when it's difficult for me to do so.
I feel like i have to show something, _anything_ , or i'll just be ignored or avoided.