I am 50 and have noticed in myself and others that in family's if one member makes a 'stand' against another, they want every other family member to feel exactly the same way as they do. You can agree with the sentiment of their source of anger at your dad without agreeing with their punishment choice. (Just like when a child does something wrong and some of us would smack the child and some wouldn't, the child still did something wrong). You are an adult, so you get to choose your reaction to your dad, not the rest of the family.
I have a similar situation with my dad. My ma died 17 years ago. He never moved on. He moved 120 miles north and only took me. I am the youngest. Everyone else was grown and had their own families. He ended up never going to see them. Never calling them. And then he ended up eventually blowing up on 2 of them and now they never wanna talk to him again. My other sister is so busy with a sick husband to call much. And my other brother has not forgiven him for just leaving everyone. So it's just me. My dad is the least independent person I know. From the day my mother died all her responsibilities fell on me and my oldest sister. I paid the bills, made the phone calls, arranged appointments, handled paperwork. I was 14!! It makes no sense he has isolated himself so much when he refuses to do anything by himself. When I first started my family he sucked the life out of me and made my postpartum spiral so hard. He would treat my youngest very poorly for some reason to the point I eventually quit going to see him. And magically all the things he was not capable of doing, he figured out how to do it. Now that I've just working back up to seeing him again everytime I show up he suddenly can't do anything on his own again. I had to be the parent for most of my childhood because he wouldn't do it. For the first 6 years old my oldest life I had to raise my dad too. He is such a child about stuff. And yet here he is chasing off all my siblings. It's so complicated. And I'm just stuck here like I wish my siblings would help a bit with him but then again I don't blame them. But now he's getting older too and had some health scared and it makes me wonder what's going to happen to him. He's going to be all alone right to end because he refuses to reach out to anyone. Its sad.
He is trying to apologize, which might be meaningless if he does not truly see anything wrong with his behavior. My father NEVER apologized for any of the things he did wrong. It seems you would be better off cutting contact with him. You might be able to forgive, but it does not mean you have to keep interacting with him.
She seems like such a sweet beautiful gentle girl 😊😊
Keep Smiling. You’re so Loved
I am 50 and have noticed in myself and others that in family's if one member makes a 'stand' against another, they want every other family member to feel exactly the same way as they do. You can agree with the sentiment of their source of anger at your dad without agreeing with their punishment choice. (Just like when a child does something wrong and some of us would smack the child and some wouldn't, the child still did something wrong). You are an adult, so you get to choose your reaction to your dad, not the rest of the family.
Your voice is surprisingly therapeutic. Thanks for the coherent ramble. 🔥
@@TheOriginalConceptMaker Oh! Well thank you! 🩶
I have a similar situation with my dad.
My ma died 17 years ago.
He never moved on. He moved 120 miles north and only took me. I am the youngest. Everyone else was grown and had their own families.
He ended up never going to see them. Never calling them. And then he ended up eventually blowing up on 2 of them and now they never wanna talk to him again. My other sister is so busy with a sick husband to call much. And my other brother has not forgiven him for just leaving everyone.
So it's just me. My dad is the least independent person I know. From the day my mother died all her responsibilities fell on me and my oldest sister. I paid the bills, made the phone calls, arranged appointments, handled paperwork. I was 14!! It makes no sense he has isolated himself so much when he refuses to do anything by himself.
When I first started my family he sucked the life out of me and made my postpartum spiral so hard. He would treat my youngest very poorly for some reason to the point I eventually quit going to see him. And magically all the things he was not capable of doing, he figured out how to do it. Now that I've just working back up to seeing him again everytime I show up he suddenly can't do anything on his own again.
I had to be the parent for most of my childhood because he wouldn't do it. For the first 6 years old my oldest life I had to raise my dad too. He is such a child about stuff.
And yet here he is chasing off all my siblings.
It's so complicated.
And I'm just stuck here like I wish my siblings would help a bit with him but then again I don't blame them. But now he's getting older too and had some health scared and it makes me wonder what's going to happen to him. He's going to be all alone right to end because he refuses to reach out to anyone. Its sad.
You are allowed to forgive people, but not let them take advantage of you again.
He is trying to apologize, which might be meaningless if he does not truly see anything wrong with his behavior. My father NEVER apologized for any of the things he did wrong. It seems you would be better off cutting contact with him. You might be able to forgive, but it does not mean you have to keep interacting with him.