Executor Selection Mistakes That Can Cost You Your Legacy
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 มี.ค. 2021
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Selecting the executor of your estate is a decision that can impact your closest loved ones for decades, or in certain instances, for generations. It's a big job. Pick the right executor and your estate settlement can be smooth, orderly, tax efficient, and without conflict. Pick the wrong executor and you've potentially ruined relationships and family harmony for a very long time.
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This post is for informational purposes only and does not provide legal advice. Please do not act or refrain from acting based on anything you read on this site. Using this site or communicating with Rabalais Estate Planning, LLC, through this site does not form an attorney/client relationship.
Paul Rabalais
Estate Planning Attorney
I'm currently involved in settling my father's estate. One brother was named executor. It's only been three months and the stress has already severed the sibling relationship. Once the estate is totally settled, doubt we'll ever speak to each other again. I'd rather an estate lawyer have been named the executor and the estate been settled professionally.
Advice to middle-aged parents - don't leave your kids a mess to clean up.
Sound advice for many situations.
I know the feeling. Pop passed away. The family met at the house after the burial service and the first thing out of oldest sibling and their spouse's mouth was "We have an attorney." That was in Jan 2013. Haven't spoken since.
@@dougdorrer4622 In my case, my brother was my co-executor. We had a separate estate attorney for the estate-related legal work. Because there were only 2 co-executors, and my brother/co-executor was trying to cut a better deal for himself on the real estate (ie. self-dealing), this resulted in countless deadlocks and endless acrimony. I held my ground and ultimately everything was distributed precisely 5 ways, per the will. There's 5 siblings and 4 of us are no longer talking to my former co-executor. For my own estate, I've appointed a corporate successor trustee. To do it any other way risks it being a very contentious and destructive process for the family, imho. I would never ever accept appointment as an executor again, nor would I ever ask someone to.
Have brother get an trust attorney to help with the whole process. Typical cost about $1k for the whole service, but well worth it. Then consult with a Tax Expert on the paperwork, etc. needed to file tax return on the estate. Then start to produce a monthly report that is sent to everyone on the finance account and outstanding items and estimated time lines. Good luck.
@@vincentlee4799 $1k? I think you're missing a zero or so, unless it's a small estate.
1:25 one of the heirs
3:38 all of the heirs as co-executors.
5:51 the friend
7:13 an attorney
9:37 a CPA
10:29 the Corporate executor
Thank you
Thanks for providing food for thought...Good thing we're dead when all our best efforts "hit the fan".
My wife showed me one of your video on revocable trusts. That sounded like something we wanted to do. We met with our estate attorney the next week and started the process. I told him we had been watching an estate attorney on TH-cam, but he was in Louisiana (we live in NC). He asked me if it was you. When I said yes, he said “I love that guy, I watch him every day “! So I want to thank you for helping my heirs avoid probate!
We all love Paul...he's great.🎯
@@ericbateman5491 Hello...I am new to this site and I also live in North Carolina! May I ask who you used in NC and if you are happy with him/her?
I didn't want this job but I volunteered to help because my 2 sisters have cancer. Instead, of being grateful to me for taking on this huge responsibility and the expense that goes with it they have done nothing but cuss me out. I finally cut off all communication with them and told them I am no longer their sister. I have hated every minute of this job and I can't wait till it's over.
As a prior Executor, my business and tax background helped me and I also was smart enough to use both tax expert and attorney to help me follow the process both legally and tax wise. I kept everyone aware of my activities and always provided a monthly statement on finances and balance of estate as well as outstanding actions and approx. time line. If have seen other cases where Executors are either not following process, don’t want to use experts or are in cahoots in trying to carve out something for themselves contrary to the wishes in the Trust. Pick very wisely and seriously interview and make sure they understand what this role will entail. For my own, I may use a corp executor because children are not as well verse in business/taxes regarding trust.
Vincent, how does one find the better corporate executors? And which will and trust designs tend to be much easier to execute? Thanks.
That’s what my executor is doing I have to beg it seems I’m the only heir that cares about there money. My aunt constested the will so settled a small fee to her and now we owe 3 years of taxes. These people are mad I’m asking for paper work now I said all this they say there going to the lawyer( not a estate one) so now there saying there going to expodate n get it moving faster it’s been 3 years ! But it will cost they say
Your 1st point on choosing an Executor is dead on! I think the people who chose lawyer in your poll have experienced a family member being taken over by greed & sticking it another family member/s. It did not matter what the wishes of the deceased parent/parents would have been. Not a good choice - Not being rich I'm going with a lawyer for my updated Will. Great information thank you for doing this video.
I’m the youngest child, and only daughter, in a traditional Asian family. My parents expected my brother would be responsible for their legacy. He moved out of state for college, and didn’t move back. My brother was an electrical engineer. I was a corporate law paralegal. My mom predeceased my dad. I ended up becoming my dad’s advocate and caring for him after he had a heart attack. My dad made me a co-trustee of his trust 3 days before he passed away. He told my brother (but not me) that I had done a good job of taking care of his personal business since his illness. I ended up being my dad’s executor as well. Not only did my brother have no objections, he was fully in support of my appointment. I had the benefit of my mom’s foresight in planning their estate well in advance, my own paralegal work experience, and compassionate professionals with whom our family had well-established relationships. That’s what made the difference: being comfortable with his probate attorney, CPA, and financial advisor. The fact that they knew my dad, and were professionals of integrity, who wouldn’t take advantage of my grief.
Just went through this and I got screwed by my older sister. I wrote the probate court letting them know all the money wasn't accounted for and I got nothing of my mothers property. The letter I got back said. "All the paperwork is in order." I will not speak to her again. I never thought she would be so greedy and I was wrong.
How about a stranger with knowledge of estate and tax law? They get 2.5% of the estate and you get a competent estate Trustee.
I'm the oldest of eight children and my elderly mother has named me as executor but I'm now realizing this is going to be a nightmare when she passes. She is leaving the Family home and all it's contents to just myself and three other siblings. That has already angered the four siblings left out. I can see my mother's reasoning as the four left out of her Will have been very Disrespectful to her in recent years. However I do Not want to be the executor of this adversarial situation when she passes. She does not want to change her Will at this time. After watching your Videos, I'm thinking of just having a Professional executor handle this duty for me. Thank you for your information.
My husband was the executor for a dear longtime friend who was a mother figure to us. Needless to say, she had a neighbor “friend” on her bank account to pay bills when she traveled abroad. My friend said that her acct will be turned over by her neighbor if anything happened to her. Once the estate acct was opened my husband requested that the neighbor turn over the funds so that we could dispense the funds to her rightful heirs, this neighbor informed us that she consulted with a lawyer and because this neighbor was not only a co-signer but a co-owner on the acct she refused to relinquish the funds. What a nightmare it created for us. We can rest knowing we did everything we could for her heirs to sell her belongings and carry out her wishes. Sadly, her neighbor (a former church secretary) absconded with the funds. Sharing this so that this scenario can be prevented in the future.
I really learning so much from your videos
Paul, Thank you so much for your informative videos.
Love this channel !!!
Excellent. Thank you.
Great job
Thank you for your assistance. This video confirms to me that I need to do everything possible to keep as much of my assets out of probate. Too complicated, many mistakes possible, too much money going to non heirs etc. Its a nightmare!
So, you gave me no idea of who to choose just who not to choose. My husband and I have no children . Nor do we have any family members we would choose. Our combined estate is about 2 million if you count our real estate. Thanks
OH MY! I just started watching your video, and number one is long story short! Now i'm panicking because you explain what could possibly happen.
A professional "Executor" would be a profession that could benefit many...
Thanks. Keepem coming
Thanks for your comment, I have something real Big I would love to introduce you to, Let me know if you are interested...
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New sub here. This was very timely. I believe in,and have kept a will for many years; probably from seeing the hell that happens in the funerals: disp of properties, as well. Ty for all you are Doing
If anyone asks you to be an executor refuse. If for some reason you feel compelled, ensure you are the only one and get executor insurance . This is a racket. Solicitors know the high chances of family disputes and when drawing up the will they will ENCOURAGE more than one executor.
Could you speak more on individuals such as an only child/no heirs, no children, no husband/wife, and or deceased parents? Who do you leave an estate to if there are few people to chose from? Thank you.
yes,,, I have the same problem. Tee D, let me know if you find an answer.
I am 82, I need to get this done.
Someone suggested for me to give to something I like or know needs help, such as, "feed the children."
@@curtisgregory517 Compassion International checks out as a legitimate organization.
Samaritan’s Purse
Any verifiable charity or organization like the Institute for Justice, NPR, PBS, Consumer's Union, political parties, local animal shelters, animal welfare groups, environmental groups, religious organizations, Boys and Girls Clubs, women's shelters, food banks, hospitals, etc.
Thank you for this excellent and informative video! I am currently an executor for my Dad’s +/- $1M estate with four beneficiaries (all biological adult children; my dad had no surviving spouse). It’s a HARD job! Takes a degree in diplomacy.
My husband and I are changing our own living trust and will be naming our trust attorney as executor. We don’t want to put our adult step-children through this and risk their already-tenuous relationships.
How long does it take for the executor to come and speak with the family after someone dies?
Oh, my goodness! Don't pick an amateur! Pick a bank-corporate/trust or an estate lawyer to be your executor. Why? Fiduciary responsibility is something they understand. If they screw-up the penalties are enormous.
thank u for xplain very good job
My brother in law was the executor and now he no longer speaks to his three bothers. We had no communication from him and yes we had no idea if what he did was right or wrong. He and his wife were very good at convincing his mother that he was the right person. Boy did that change as soon as she passed. Lesson learned our sons will not be put in that situation. We will have a lawyer as executor.
I thought the executor has to do a final accounting that shows where all the money went?
My mother in law passed away in 2008 and she assigned my husband as the executor of her estate. She knew that her 5th son was the uniter among the eight children. My husband settled her estate fair and square and the siblings are more closer to each other now more than ever. The estate attorney was amazed how the eight children behaved when setting the estate...
That shows the quality of the upbringing in that family, a rare trait in this contentious time. I can only surmise they were raised Catholic in the old way by a very good mother. God bless your families.
@@flukedogwalker3016 my friend is working well with siblings on other hand my siblings (raised Catholic and go to church regularly) are ripping each other off to point law enforcement had to get involved. What really matters if they were raised to be competitive and entitled. That being said, the new waive of Pro Administrators have so much experience...they are ripping people off blind (selling the real estate undervalued to their realtor friends, not returning questions of beneficiaries to point beneficiaries need to attempt taking them to court...only to have the judge assist the pro by granting constant extensions that go on for years so the executor can charge more fees due to length until there is nothing left to distribute) So friend is best because a) courts hold them much more accountable then probate pros who will likely tithe to their campaigns. Not to undermine what Paul is saying, but probate and trust pros got game even more so then siblings or friends as the judge looks for opportunity to replace them with a probate pro that again will likely tithe to their campaigns. Probates and Trusts have turned into a complete horror situation in recent years. So name someone who can be held accountable and make sure they are required to be bonded so the heirs can collect even if mistakes are made.
Paul,
Love the videos. Any chance you could do a video describing what "5 by 5 Power" in a Trust is and what are the pros and cons? Thanks
When you have too many family members then you need a outsider executor, so they all can be mad at somebody not in family. Everybody unhappy equally.
👍🏽
😂 Agree 💯
Came here after being emailed the link.
Subscribed.
Thanks for the content.
Keep up the good work.
בס'ד
How about a video on Credit Shelter Trusts (CST)?
I wish you lived in Utah...I need to see you right away!!
my sister blaintly who was left the Executor of the will my mother in writing laid everything out specifically for how she left everything and express that the executor must follow her will in testament let me make this clear the biggest asset that my mother left was the houae we were raised in i have been digging into trying t get down to bottom of how our over 6 years now
What's the update?
What percentage, commission, or fee does a professional executor typically charge and what happens if he dies or becomes mentally/intellectually disabled during the course of the probate?
Depends on the state. I'm getting 3% (FL) of the estate.
Out of 3 siblings our older brother was set by Dad as the executer (1978) of the will, to divide the FarmRanch equally among the siblings, I called and asked (2021) who he was he going to leave as the executer if he dies first, flippiantly he said he would chose our younger sister, I was under the impression the next oldest down ladder was handed that right or is he free to chose whom ever he wishes?
WHen I did my mother's will (I was executor) it was painful experience--and expensive experience. How about a posting on reimbursement charges and and documentation rules, I'm at the age where I hear some horror stories from friends in probate.
I have laid out money but I get reimbursed from the estate.
Great information would like to let you revive/update my living trust however I live in Florida can you recommend some one, thanks
I'm very interested in finding out how to find a corporate executor who will take smaller estates like you said. That seems to be the best bet if I can only find one!
Thanks for your comment, I have something real Big I would love to introduce you to, Let me know if you are interested...
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I am curious as to the average cost of such a service. What % of an estate & how large an estate would a corporate executor consider “worth his/her time”?
Check around your area for trust services. Many banks do this and have the expertise, accountants and attorneys that handle the settlement of estates. I have no idea how much they charge but keep in mind that a sibling or child named as executor or trustee will have to hire and accountant and attorney anyway, so it seems like a trust company or bank would be the best choice.
What criteria do I use to find lawyer to construct my trust.
Well.....you've told us what NOT to do (if I heard all correctly) I hen what SHOULD we do, ie, who should we name as Executor???
Do you know much about Laser retirement, if so do you know someone that can make sure you have you ducks in a row?????
Poll question: What about both of the heirs if there are only 2? You mentioned 3 plus being a potential problem.
My wife's father made his oldest son... a materialistic, arrogant man who had previously hidden assets from his wife in their divorce and routinely cheated on his taxes as the Executor. I think you can guess how that went... it completely shattered the relationships of the siblings. He was the WORST possible choice among the children and was only selected because "he was the eldest male". How can people be so dumb? FIRST thing he did was go through the house and help himself to whatever he wanted.
You didn't mention the professional fiduciary. They handle the smaller cases - generally those with assets worth less than the $11.7M exemption amount - and complex cases corporate trustees/executors won't take on, such as those with illiquid assets or high family conflict.
Ron It doesn't sound like a small case!!!!!!
That’s what the corporate executor is that he was talking about.
What is your personal opinion On who would make a good executor? What about my sister, the kids aunt, would that be a good choice? My next question is does the executor get a payment out of my money to be in an executor?
The executor gets a payment for doing the job, it varies by state but usually is a calculated percentage of the estate, or a flat fee, or an hourly rate according to state laws.
She has done nothen or spoke to us my dad's kids since service and refuse to share will
I desperately want to avoid probate! Only two items
My mother died 27 years ago so it was just my father left a little skits. But we were all adults with our own homes children. My father and I had gone to his attorney years ago and made me the executor of the estates. When my father died I lived in North Carolina and he was in Illinois. My sister and her husband and kids moved into my fathers house the last couple years he was alive to take care of him. My sister’s husband took out a lot of credit cards and my dad‘s name and ran them up till they were all maxed out my dad had Parkinson’s and had no idea about this my brother-in-law went to my father‘s insurance and his annuities his bank savings he took the Social Security checks that dad was getting and he would cash him and spend them he spent every dime that my father was leaving to four children. He went to the insurance company to paperwork home and put an X on it he still every bit of the insurance and annuities everything that was in my dad‘s account and savings account and Social Security. Plus he ran up all these bills and credit cards in my dad‘s name so when my dad died there was no money left for anyone and my brother-in-law took a second mortgage and a third mortgage I don’t know how many on my fathers home and the house was sold it all went to the loans. My brother-in-law stole about $5 million in insurance money and IRAs retirement money in the house. I could not remember the attorneys name I know that we had the wheel because my father and I went and had it done and he showed me that well but conveniently I will disappeared and my sister and my brother-in-law wound up with everything. Was there anything the rest of us could’ve done? Thank you for your time sir God bless you
I’m no expert but wasn’t your brother in law criminally liable for what he did? Why didn’t anyone press charges when it happened?
You are describing multiple crimes. The Police and possibly the Feds should have been notified as soon as anyone suspected anything inappropriate. Lastly, the Dept of Elder services in the County would have considered it neglect
What happens if executor takes off with the money
Can a step mom or spouse of dad non our parent control everything will assets
Co-executors are a nightmare! I am acting
What can you do if the executor refuses to carry out the will? Do you need to get an attorney to fight them and have them do the right thing? Can you sue them?
My thoughts
Could you please do a video about special needs trusts. Thank you
So what is your recommendation? It seems like you need to choose one of the 6 types of executors.
Exactly just thinking what do we do?
Im no attorney, however my gut tells me it is impossible to reccomend one as the absolute best option. It would be entirely dependent upon the size of the estate and your individual situation
What if there is only one heir and no other family members or spouse or younger friends available to act as executor and the estate is simple (cash, debt-free house and car, no other debt, and no tax issues) and less than $700,000? How much does a corporate executor charge? Can a lawyer who does wills and trusts manage to be an executor with proper knowledge and ability to avoid probate?
And also I wish you had said that you are exposing the executor to losses because of their lack of ability to orchestrate the fiduciary duties required!
Thank you for sharing. Considering. Helpful information. BLESSINGS always
Thanks for watching!
How about a lazy guy for executor
My sister and I are co- executors of my mothers will and are not quite getting along at the moment. She has asked me if I would be willing to sign a waiver giving up my rights as an executor. I am living in my mothers house and have lived here for about 10 years taking care of her until her death a week ago. The house has a mortgage on it and my sister and I are beneficiaries for the estate. All that is in the estate is the home and her car. All the money is from life insurance policies and a pension which has designated beneficiaries which again are my sister and I. My question is what power would that give my sister if I signed over my executor rights? I have offered to assume the mortgage and also pay her her half of whatever equity we have left after we find out the value. I want to make sure that she cannot sell the home without my consent. We do not live near each other. She is about three hours away from me but from what I understand the will has to to be probated in the county my mom died in. Which is the county that I live in currently. I do understand that it would be easier and faster with only one executor but I am very reluctant now since we are not quite getting along. I hope that made sense and sorry I was so long-winded. I’d appreciate any advice!
I think you know the answer! Don't sign. Just settle the estate fairly together. What did you end up doing?
This is a timely subject. My mother's estate is worth about 2.5 million and she owns a house on a big plot in N. Va, so it's going up all the time. The family is filled with personality disorders and substance abuse. She assigned her favorite grandson to the be executor but he's unstable, has no business skills and is insulted if anyone "tells him what to do". Her remaining good friend is 80 with oncoming dementia and hid most of his income from the IRS for 50 years. My mother is 95 with a personality disorder and dementia and thinks she's really sharp. The attorney who wrote her trust and advises her is an emigration attorney, and the house is not listed in the trust. It's a complicated mess and I'd been wondering if there are services to do this job. Thanks for the great advice.
Hey Paul....How about some videos on Foundations!! ex: Clinton Foundation, Gates Foundation, Ford Foundation, Rockefeller Foundation, etc. etc..?
Thanks for your comment, I have something real Big I would love to introduce you to, Let me know if you are interested...
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Can a executor just quits and gives the responsibilities to a beneficiary?
no-they must be court appointed.
Why do you even need one?
What about getting an uncompensated executor.
Executors do not necessarily have to request or accept compensation.
@@2901nc Executors fees are usually set by the state. I would budget for paying them as the job can be very time consuming and otherwise thankless. With my fathers estate, we provisionally planned on waiving our fees, but there were some difficult negotiations with the other beneficiaries at the end. So we reserved our right to claim our fees until after the final waivers and releases were signed by the beneficiaries. Only then did we waive our fees. To waive the fees up front is setting yourself up for trouble as you may find the job requires a lot more work than you anticipated.
It's immoral to have capital punishment executions. Must be abolished! Put executors out of a job.
Please let this be sarcasm. Pretty please.
What do you think when you have an uncle has executor and making one of the children has a co executor .This is what my Dad did to his will .
My cousin and I were co-executor's on an uncle's will. The good thing was we could work together to make decisions and help each other. We ended up splitting the duties between us. The unfortunate thing was both of us had to be present to sign any important papers like court, banks, etc. We do not live near each other or near the uncle's residence.
How can we chat?
3 co-executors is infinitely better than 2. Provided it's also specified that a majority vote carries. Gotta have a tie-breaker.
Don’t suggest this, 2 gang up on 1 is going to be the result on disagreements.
@@vincentlee4799 To expect unanimity is unrealistic. An even number results in a never ending series of deadlocks. (I lived through this for 4 years) It's vitally important to have an odd number which provides a "casting vote"
When taking the poll, “Who would make “the best” executor ? I’d say “Lawyer” Why? because they would have the “best“ experience of the choices that are given. They would be “best” at carrying out the duties, responsibilities required, and their overall general knowledge of the law would make a “lawyer best.”
Asking “who’s the “best” is a bit different from asking “who would/do you choose” as your executor? “ like most, I’d answer “Heir(s) and not lawyers. i’m sure that’s closer to how a client would be asked when making their Will. probably nearly 1/2 would answer “heirs , and then the other percentages mentioned would be closer to those numbers based upon your experience.
I’m thinking the percentages from the poll may be off , and not matching those from your experience because, like me, they may have interpreted the question differently from how it was intended due to its wording.
In summary…
People will “choose” a deadbeat ‘heir,’ knowing that a ‘lawyer’ would make the “better/best”executor .
Hi there. Thanks for the informative video. My closest friend has passed away recently and she named me the executor and I don’t want my husband to know about me going through this till I complete whatever needs to be done because I don’t want to put more stress and worry on him. So my question is that when I filed the IRS online about the estate I put my info as an executor and all that, so do you think it will show about this estate I am inheriting when my husband and I file for our taxes? Thanks again.
If someone is supposedly left as an executor in the will, do the other heirs have to sign to make that person an executor?
No. The choice of executor is totally up to the decedent. The executor can refuse the job but no one can challenge the choice.
@@joycewright5386 It's good to name a back up executor.
Dear paul i would like to be able to contact you regarding my current situation
Thanks for your comment, I have something real Big I would love to introduce you to, Let me know if you are interested...
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@@wearechange9292 We all are. China's gonna change us sll soon. Get a will
Executor is estate planning Atty. Why??
He explained in the 1st minute: avoid destroying family relationships, heirs not in control are distrustful of some family members, attorney has knowledge of law to answer questions.
I have been executor and it is best to hire for flat fee and Trust attorney to help with all the legal paperwork needed , consult with a Tax professional that you can work on regarding filing estate tax return.
Now we owe years of back taxes from a contest will so who know how much it is
Well , there ways to cutting off debts .
I wish you answer some the questions people are asking in the comments.
Thanks for your comment, I have something real Big I would love to introduce you to, Let me know if you are interested...
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@@wearechange9292 is a death wish
Yes
so can one hire an executor for their estste
we are 67 and it is time th hire all of the right people what are their titles
I would imagine you can hire some attorney he will take a big junk of money
6 choices offered, all bad or inappropriate.
So what do we do? The person with all qualifications recommended does not exist. This is why I have not begun my will. It’s one of the the first things the attorney asked me to choose. I don’t have all the expertise or skill set and I certainly don’t
Know anyone that does
Yes legacy ruiner #1 Albert M. Schwartz MD from Brighton Beach New York Pediatrician in Mesa Arizona at Mesa Pediatrics, crook stole sister in laws inheritance and burial plots. CROOK
My Mother left everything to her new husband and named him the executor. He immediately told me and my children to get lost. Wouldn’t even give me the family photographs.
We have 7 dysfunctional adult children, it's going to be my bff
I just wouldn't trust an outsider!!
over 9 mnutes to tell you not to pick your kids as executors. way to slow of video
Lengthen your attention span; this what lawyers do - talk - for a living.
@@arobertpetersen trying to help the attorney and encourage him to look at his YT analytics to see that he losing most of his audience, ppl will move on in less than a 1.2 minutes.
@@arobertpetersen tic toc has proven that content has to move quick online to go viral