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He’s absolutely right. The goal should never be to change or “improve” their emotions, because that’s not gonna happen (in fact that’s just going to make them feel worse) the goal should always be to validate their emotions. And to be clear validating someone’s feelings is not the same as agreeing with everything they say or doing everything they want you to, it’s just simply acknowledging that their feelings are valid and matter. And, personally, I think that when it comes to any interaction or relationship with another person, validation is key.
@@BryantWalker-m6e Right, that's manipulation, that's NOT AT ALL the same thing as working out a middle ground solution. And honestly, manipulating others to do what you want them to do will never end well, it will only ruin relationships and cause people to never trust you or want to work with you again. Which should never be the goal when you are trying to work with others.
Adam's like that one uncle, because you know eventually he's going to tell that story about the 8-foot $1500 foamboard project. Very practical mailbag, or whatever you call these video segments.
I'm about to start my own business, in an industry that is exclusively 'house-calls'. Most of my clients will need to take a day off work to accommodate me, and if I cancel at short-notice - even for sympathetic reasons - they just wont have me back. If I get injured and have to clear 8 weeks of clients - that would significantly shrink my books. This is when it's good to have a business partner - or even a sub-contractor you work closely with. It's invaluable to have someone who can cover for you. Maintain a healthy relationship with your industry colleagues as well. And I think best of all - you may be able to find someone who is semi/retired who will brush the cobwebs off for a bit of extra pocket-money and just something to do.
Thanks for your honesty about having people that may dislike you in your past. I had my first experience with that, and it still seems to haunt me. It’s nice to know others experience this.
@@brandonyoung-kemkes1128 It's good that you care that much about your customers, that you are considerate and don't want to let them down. I would want to hire someone like that. "It is possible to commit no mistakes, and still lose. That is not a weakness - that is life" - Jean-Luc Picard.
My mom was a single employee/self employed person for a long time. She always complained about not being able to find good workers. That said, I like your insight!
How people take bad news is a truer sign of professionalism than anything else in my mind. A professional knows that sometimes things can't happen, due to reasons outside of their control. It's okay to be mad, frustrated, or pissed off. But to take it out on the person who has to give you that bad news is unprofessional. Give you an example. I was supposed to be on a customers site this last week. Things happened, and i could not go to their site. Won't be going back for another couple of weeks, due to scheduling issues. The man i talked to on site was professional. He was "well, the boss isn't going to be happy, but it is what it is, stuff happens. I'll see you when you get here." That is professional. The boss, OTOH, wasn't. But i am also a professional, and dealing with immature asshats is part of the job. Middle management is the worst for this kind of thing.
A personal philosophy that has served me well in life is to always have a solution to recommend when you talk about a problem. Adam's options when it comes to bad news is a great way to diffuse a potential conflict.
"We all have people in our past that think poorly of us" - Something people need to realize. You won't always succeed. You won't always win. Sometimes people just won't like you, move on.
As someone who sometimes has to pass on bad news to clients, I've found an approach of collecting and writing down FACTS and then delivering the summary first, while being prepared to offer the backup history / supporting details is best. If I don't know something, I say that I don't know. If they want to know why that is, I tell them. Honesty and candor is best and sometimes a client isn't going to care that you are being straightforward, even if there is nothing you can do. You can't do anything except deliver bad news in a professional, respectful, adult tone and hope they understand your hands are tied- but the willingness to communicate clearly and directly conveys respect- don't hide from them, make excuses, be vague or delay. I often find that having a couple of options to move forward ready to go it also helpful, so that if they care to know what the next steps are, you have them ready to go.
Same, and in all seriousness I think it is useful, even if I never do contract work there's a solid chance I will have contract work done for me. Understanding the other side is very useful IMO
If you have a day job, this advice is still invaluable. Hey boss, the job you gave me to do is going to be delayed; here are three solutions, which direction do you want me to go? Looks a LOT better than having an issue and just letting things go wrong, and also puts you ahead of 99% of other employees.
Exactly. In fact, the second Q&A ties in with the first nicely, though Adam didn't mention: if you have to drop a job, when feasible do your best to research and offer alternative providers to take over. It will depend on the reasons for dropping it of course, but in many cases you can at least give the client a path forward with someone else that you can vouch for and they can trust, so that their particular need is fulfilled.
I love you Adam, watching your videos gives me a sense of sameness in a world full of difference and turmoil, I grew up watching you and Jamie and you’ve shaped my life in a way I never thought possible, you were just making a show, and it really did reach further than you guys imagined, I even went as Jamie for Halloween one year! I’d be glad to share that image with you guys if you’d like, either way I love tested and all the things you do Adam, what a magnificent human being
As a person who straight up avoids conflict and risk adverse, your wisdom is a huge relief. Your response in these situations isn't a miracle solution where everything works out, but a hard reality navigated honestly and professionally. Thank you Adam.
That advice about giving options is really great. Give the person something other than anger to work with, and give them some context on why the problem exists.
A piece of advise as a Project Manager, sometimes you need to let your client know ASAP that there is a problem whether you have a solution or not. Ideally provide a solution, but sometimes you need to pick up the phone and just say "hey I found this problem, the deadline is in trouble, I'm still reviewing the issue and I will get back to you as soon as I know more".
Sometimes listening to Adam is so grounding. Feeling less ashamed to hear him say that we all have people in our past who think poorly of us. Sometimes I guess we just never get a chance to prove that "that time" was us at our worst.
Thanks for this timely video! I have to tell a potential contractor that we've decided to go with someone else (because I didn't hear from option A for 3 weeks). This really helped me process what to focus on for that convo.
As a non American, cancelling that bank check makes not only very little sense, but would even be illegal here. By paying an invoice you therefore legally agreed with the job. Even if the contractor makes a mess. That's either called business risk or when it's really bad you can try to set it straight in other legal ways. But just cancelling payments left and right sounds totally wild wild west to me.
Adam is speaking of a transaction that occurred in the past and I believe is relaying it accurately of what could occur at that time. However, recently, a relative of mine tried to put a hold on a cheque that had already cleared and the bank refused to do anything to what they identified as a completed transaction. I believe today that US banks refuse to take such actions out of fear of becoming embroiled in legal consequences against them as you commented. The only exception I am aware of is a payroll company who do have some rights to “claw back” previous deposits made in error or that are later determined to be invalid.
I 1,000% agree that when you bring a problem to anybody you answer to whether it's a client or a manager or a parent or friend you always come with at least three options and include the pluses and minuses and be prepared to tell which option you would suggest. My dad wants told me that as a manager he really despised it when his employees would come to him with a problem and would not have even one solution to consider.
As much as I'd like to agree, I think there are also plenty of times where it'd be unreasonable to expect someone to offer solutions to a problem, which is arguably the responsibility of their manager or boss.
@@AuntJemimaGames You are right, it will depend on the problem. Some problems are squarely in the domain of the supervisor/boss/manager/whatever. Those roles exist _specifically because of_ the kinds of problems that can come up and which they are supposed to solve. In some cases the problems involve the rain of shit that the manager should be protecting the employee from. In other cases, the manager is there to provide the insights of experience, which the employee may not yet have the knowledge to be aware of. But of course in other cases, the employee can and should be able to explore the various options and provide solutions. This is especially true where the problem is of their own making (as in the Dickens example) or is at least their direct responsibility (as in the Hyneman commercial example). Of course, in the freelance scenarios (which I think is what Adam is largely addressing in these videos), there is often just one person, acting as employee, manager, HR, accounts receivable, legal advisor, etc. and so it becomes quite clear whose responsibility it is to offer solutions. :)
not meeting a deadline has happened to me at work many times where im only pat of the equation and if another department doenst deliver the blame game starts instead of trying to figure out how to meet it, i learned long ago never play the blame game cause you end up looking incompetent, giving the boss choices is very effective and usually works out in your favor.
As a banker, generally a stop payment is placed before the check is cashed. You can dispute the check after it's cashed, similar to a dispute for a fraudulent debit charge. However there are limited reasons to do it, but non delivery of goods is an option.
I'm a contractor both electrical and general and i just started relatively speaking and thats my biggest thing i struggle with is deadlines and bidding when i have them its tough my work is great im one guy so i go a little slower but cut no corners and always seem like i fall just alittle short everytime Hard to find older guys to give up the secrets lol guess just gotta pay the dues
The three years I spent working in collections taught me a ton about conflict resolution. The biggest lesson was, let them scream, curse, tell you how his wife left him and his dog died and his truck broke down and his company went bust (true story), and once they've finally gotten it all out then present them with solutions. Interrupting will only make their anger worse.
If someone stops paying you and then ghosts you, walk away. Yes you should have costed it better, but if they want to act like an asshole they will always act like an asshole.
Everyday, I go through periods of nuclear furiosity, psycho rage, hideous breakdowns, gamma anger, danger room meltdowns, frothing, carnal hate and crap like that 😂❤
Bad news: I label it right up front and directly, honestly and with nothing to hide; “I’m about to frustrate you, with some bad news.” Wait a beat, let them process, “Here’s the update…” At this point I’m 35 years old with 20 years of experience, and that respectful adult approach has led to better outcomes than otherwise around 80% of the time.
I've had this experience working for the company I was working for last year and for some reason the gold plated pins we ordered for the electronic pacemakers we were building was having issues with the gold plating sticking to the pins and don't know why,it's first time it's ever happened and they're still trying to figure out this issue as we speak
Listening to this takes me straight to the "Fuck you, pay me" video you spoke about a few weeks ago. Starting out there are lessons to learn, and reading potential clients is definitely trial and error. I had no idea a check could be cancelled after cashing and spending, which is some really shadey rich-people shite.
Situations like that are so difficult exactly because they eat you alive before resolving them. You play imaginary conversations in your mind, what could they say, what can you answer, how would they escalate, what can you do to prevent real damage to your reputation etc. In cases like this I found that a comedic skit I watched when I was 12 years old on tv provided a life long solution. It goes like this. It’s the middle of the night, a couple in bed, the husband is twisting and turning. His wife opens the light and says ‘’baby what’s going on?’’ He says ‘’I owe to our neighbor 2000 and I just can’t give them back by tomorrow, I don’t know how to tell him’’. And she says ‘’baby wait here one second leave this on me’’ she stands up opens the balcony door and shouts ‘’George! That money we owe you, we can’t pay them back by tomorrow!’’ She gets in, closes the doors, lies down and says ‘’sleep baby, now it’s the neighbor who is twisting around’’ 😅
I think it is part of being an adult, to have people in your past who don't think highly of you. I never intended it, and sometimes its not your fault, but it was sobering realisation.
I found when delivering bad news is to make sure you don't make your problems their problems. You underbid, you're taking the loss. You are too optimistic in how fast you can do it, you are working long days. Your plan was wrong, you need to fix it.
10:30 Are ocular migraines (which do suck) something that is actually precipitated by this level and kind of stress? Adam is the third case I know of. It seems to be stress combined with a sense of powerlessness. For me they started during my studies. For someone else I know it was child's grave illness. The body seems to say "You are not allowed to bash me this way. I will make you blind until morale improves."
Yes, such cases happen Adam, thank you for giving the most useful advice. Working with a customer is always a roller coaster ride, it’s a joke for everyone. The customer tells the designer he can play around with the font style. replies Yes I can make a font in the New Roman style. The CUSTOMER answers no, leave it as it was 😂😂😂😂
I Googled "can you put a stop payment on a check that has already cleared" and web said no. I'm sure that what you say happened happened, but I'm interested in what the full story is. I know that someone can place a stop payment on a check before they have even written it, because that happened to me. The FIRST and ONLY check I have accepted from a private party.
It’s a lot more complex than google will tell you. Also the story is from a fairly long time ago. Technically under the right circumstances a stop order can happen within 14 days.
Oh, I was a photographic mural printer, mounter, and cutout / installation guy in SF 91-2000. I bet I did work for the guy you mentioned. Was his initials S.G.? Oh the stories.
I had to Google the check thing because it sounded so bizarre, and I couldn't find any instance which after a check clears that someone could even put a stop payment on it unless theft or fraud is suspected. oof
Aha, but the caveat is dealing with micro-managing clients who are the cause of the delay! "Remember when I said that it wasn't a good idea to do such and such? Yeah, well, because of that, your own timeline is screwed up." Everyone leaves pissed off, but lesson learned is that you can't please everyone all the time - I just try to be nice, mostly. Good luck on all your future endeavors Adam!
Deadline: “What’s the absolute worst case scenario if we miss the current due time?” …A lot of due dates are arbitrary, and even if not, there’s usually some wiggle room, and even if not it’s time to discuss options.
Youve used the Toys R Us commercial story a couple times now, and I suspect you have used it several times in other talks to people. I believe it might have been word for word the same as the last time I heard you reference it here on Tested. I have a friend that does the same thing. Ive heard him tell the same story to different people, and I swear he has the story memorized verbatim. Not a criticism, just an observation...
Subject: avoiding giving your work away for free. I do web work for clients and I tend to bend over backwards, drop everything, fix an issue that usually takes less than an hour, but don’t bill them for this work. It annoys me that I give up my time for free.
I would have appreciated hearing all that.... because you hear what you normally don't hear, the truth and you hear them trying to figure out how to be gentle when they tell you the truth
The true answer is this: don't accept jobs that you can't do. If you find out there's not enough time in the day, that you aren't capable of what you committed to, that you decide later what they are asking for is immoral, YOU are the asshole. They have every right to be mad.
I haven't got any, I'm dead, but if I had, I wouldn't make it anyway, it's like pretending to find a ray of sunlight into the freezer, no way. I knew that things wouldn't be as easy as before, but hell is crowdy and cables colder. I don't know. Namastè.
Empathy? Speak for yourself, the longer I have to live in a world where the majority of people want leaders like Biden the less empathy I have for people, and at this s point it's GONE.
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"Adjusting the emotions of someone you're talking to is never going to be a winning strategy." It's simple yet so profound. 🤯
He’s absolutely right. The goal should never be to change or “improve” their emotions, because that’s not gonna happen (in fact that’s just going to make them feel worse) the goal should always be to validate their emotions. And to be clear validating someone’s feelings is not the same as agreeing with everything they say or doing everything they want you to, it’s just simply acknowledging that their feelings are valid and matter. And, personally, I think that when it comes to any interaction or relationship with another person, validation is key.
If you adjust them to the CORRECT emotion you can get what you want, THAT is the point in manipulating people not to help them but to help you.
@@BryantWalker-m6e Right, that's manipulation, that's NOT AT ALL the same thing as working out a middle ground solution. And honestly, manipulating others to do what you want them to do will never end well, it will only ruin relationships and cause people to never trust you or want to work with you again. Which should never be the goal when you are trying to work with others.
He's so much more valuable in this format. This man has accumulated an enormous amount of wisdom and disperses it better than anyone I've encountered.
Adam's like that one uncle, because you know eventually he's going to tell that story about the 8-foot $1500 foamboard project.
Very practical mailbag, or whatever you call these video segments.
I'm about to start my own business, in an industry that is exclusively 'house-calls'. Most of my clients will need to take a day off work to accommodate me, and if I cancel at short-notice - even for sympathetic reasons - they just wont have me back. If I get injured and have to clear 8 weeks of clients - that would significantly shrink my books. This is when it's good to have a business partner - or even a sub-contractor you work closely with. It's invaluable to have someone who can cover for you. Maintain a healthy relationship with your industry colleagues as well. And I think best of all - you may be able to find someone who is semi/retired who will brush the cobwebs off for a bit of extra pocket-money and just something to do.
Good advice about those semi retired. Makes them feel wanted and needed too. Some people take retirement hard
@@BCGMrTwinkles And a win/win because the customer gets a more experienced worker for the price of a novice.
Thanks for your honesty about having people that may dislike you in your past. I had my first experience with that, and it still seems to haunt me. It’s nice to know others experience this.
@@brandonyoung-kemkes1128 It's good that you care that much about your customers, that you are considerate and don't want to let them down. I would want to hire someone like that. "It is possible to commit no mistakes, and still lose. That is not a weakness - that is life" - Jean-Luc Picard.
My mom was a single employee/self employed person for a long time. She always complained about not being able to find good workers. That said, I like your insight!
How people take bad news is a truer sign of professionalism than anything else in my mind. A professional knows that sometimes things can't happen, due to reasons outside of their control. It's okay to be mad, frustrated, or pissed off. But to take it out on the person who has to give you that bad news is unprofessional.
Give you an example. I was supposed to be on a customers site this last week. Things happened, and i could not go to their site. Won't be going back for another couple of weeks, due to scheduling issues. The man i talked to on site was professional. He was "well, the boss isn't going to be happy, but it is what it is, stuff happens. I'll see you when you get here." That is professional.
The boss, OTOH, wasn't. But i am also a professional, and dealing with immature asshats is part of the job. Middle management is the worst for this kind of thing.
A personal philosophy that has served me well in life is to always have a solution to recommend when you talk about a problem. Adam's options when it comes to bad news is a great way to diffuse a potential conflict.
The one important piece of professional advice I was given and take to heart: bad news does not get better with age.
"We all have people in our past that think poorly of us" - Something people need to realize. You won't always succeed. You won't always win. Sometimes people just won't like you, move on.
As someone who sometimes has to pass on bad news to clients, I've found an approach of collecting and writing down FACTS and then delivering the summary first, while being prepared to offer the backup history / supporting details is best. If I don't know something, I say that I don't know. If they want to know why that is, I tell them. Honesty and candor is best and sometimes a client isn't going to care that you are being straightforward, even if there is nothing you can do. You can't do anything except deliver bad news in a professional, respectful, adult tone and hope they understand your hands are tied- but the willingness to communicate clearly and directly conveys respect- don't hide from them, make excuses, be vague or delay. I often find that having a couple of options to move forward ready to go it also helpful, so that if they care to know what the next steps are, you have them ready to go.
"We all have people in our past that think poorly of us."
Me who has never done contract work: yes, this is very interesting and important to know.
Same, and in all seriousness I think it is useful, even if I never do contract work there's a solid chance I will have contract work done for me. Understanding the other side is very useful IMO
If you have a day job, this advice is still invaluable. Hey boss, the job you gave me to do is going to be delayed; here are three solutions, which direction do you want me to go? Looks a LOT better than having an issue and just letting things go wrong, and also puts you ahead of 99% of other employees.
Thanks. You clearly speak with the experience of a lifetime. There is no better advice than that.
Love the Jamie impression. Spot on.
...the rig has totally failed... 😂
Don't just bring problems to the table, bring solutions.
Exactly. In fact, the second Q&A ties in with the first nicely, though Adam didn't mention: if you have to drop a job, when feasible do your best to research and offer alternative providers to take over. It will depend on the reasons for dropping it of course, but in many cases you can at least give the client a path forward with someone else that you can vouch for and they can trust, so that their particular need is fulfilled.
I love you Adam, watching your videos gives me a sense of sameness in a world full of difference and turmoil, I grew up watching you and Jamie and you’ve shaped my life in a way I never thought possible, you were just making a show, and it really did reach further than you guys imagined, I even went as Jamie for Halloween one year! I’d be glad to share that image with you guys if you’d like, either way I love tested and all the things you do Adam, what a magnificent human being
Lol I'd love to see that image
Some really good advice when bringing a problem to the client or supervisor. If possible have a set options or solutions.
As a person who straight up avoids conflict and risk adverse, your wisdom is a huge relief. Your response in these situations isn't a miracle solution where everything works out, but a hard reality navigated honestly and professionally. Thank you Adam.
That advice about giving options is really great. Give the person something other than anger to work with, and give them some context on why the problem exists.
A piece of advise as a Project Manager, sometimes you need to let your client know ASAP that there is a problem whether you have a solution or not. Ideally provide a solution, but sometimes you need to pick up the phone and just say "hey I found this problem, the deadline is in trouble, I'm still reviewing the issue and I will get back to you as soon as I know more".
Sometimes listening to Adam is so grounding. Feeling less ashamed to hear him say that we all have people in our past who think poorly of us. Sometimes I guess we just never get a chance to prove that "that time" was us at our worst.
I use SIOR: Situation, Impact, Options, Recommendation
Thanks for this timely video! I have to tell a potential contractor that we've decided to go with someone else (because I didn't hear from option A for 3 weeks). This really helped me process what to focus on for that convo.
As a non American, cancelling that bank check makes not only very little sense, but would even be illegal here.
By paying an invoice you therefore legally agreed with the job. Even if the contractor makes a mess.
That's either called business risk or when it's really bad you can try to set it straight in other legal ways.
But just cancelling payments left and right sounds totally wild wild west to me.
Adam is speaking of a transaction that occurred in the past and I believe is relaying it accurately of what could occur at that time. However, recently, a relative of mine tried to put a hold on a cheque that had already cleared and the bank refused to do anything to what they identified as a completed transaction. I believe today that US banks refuse to take such actions out of fear of becoming embroiled in legal consequences against them as you commented. The only exception I am aware of is a payroll company who do have some rights to “claw back” previous deposits made in error or that are later determined to be invalid.
You can have it fast, cheap, or good. Pick two.
Fast and cheap, but not good.
Cheap and good, but not fast.
Good and fast, but not cheap.
2 if you're lucky that is
Good and good. Nowhere in the contract did it specify that every choice could be chosen only once 😉
I 1,000% agree that when you bring a problem to anybody you answer to whether it's a client or a manager or a parent or friend you always come with at least three options and include the pluses and minuses and be prepared to tell which option you would suggest. My dad wants told me that as a manager he really despised it when his employees would come to him with a problem and would not have even one solution to consider.
As much as I'd like to agree, I think there are also plenty of times where it'd be unreasonable to expect someone to offer solutions to a problem, which is arguably the responsibility of their manager or boss.
@@AuntJemimaGames You are right, it will depend on the problem.
Some problems are squarely in the domain of the supervisor/boss/manager/whatever. Those roles exist _specifically because of_ the kinds of problems that can come up and which they are supposed to solve. In some cases the problems involve the rain of shit that the manager should be protecting the employee from. In other cases, the manager is there to provide the insights of experience, which the employee may not yet have the knowledge to be aware of.
But of course in other cases, the employee can and should be able to explore the various options and provide solutions. This is especially true where the problem is of their own making (as in the Dickens example) or is at least their direct responsibility (as in the Hyneman commercial example).
Of course, in the freelance scenarios (which I think is what Adam is largely addressing in these videos), there is often just one person, acting as employee, manager, HR, accounts receivable, legal advisor, etc. and so it becomes quite clear whose responsibility it is to offer solutions. :)
That’s also the advice I’ve been given through my career, always come with solutions not problems.
Thank you for sharing your life experience with us, this is the most important thing.
When you said you bid $500 on that job, I immediately knew it wasn't enough despite never having done that kind of work.
not meeting a deadline has happened to me at work many times where im only pat of the equation and if another department doenst deliver the blame game starts instead of trying to figure out how to meet it, i learned long ago never play the blame game cause you end up looking incompetent, giving the boss choices is very effective and usually works out in your favor.
Thank you. I needed to hear this today.
I've got a decent vocabulary, nothing makes me look up words more than watching Adam Savage. Never heard "equanimity" before
Damn. "You have to give up control of that" got me.
Double whammy with "adjusting someone's emotions is never a successful stratagem for life"
I love this and will save it. I have always given myself time to bring a solution. Tell them right away bur bring a solution.
As a banker, generally a stop payment is placed before the check is cashed. You can dispute the check after it's cashed, similar to a dispute for a fraudulent debit charge. However there are limited reasons to do it, but non delivery of goods is an option.
I remember doing a bad quote for a job. I ended up just eating it and working for basically $4/hour 😂
That's what you do when you make a mistake.
I'm a contractor both electrical and general and i just started relatively speaking and thats my biggest thing i struggle with is deadlines and bidding when i have them its tough my work is great im one guy so i go a little slower but cut no corners and always seem like i fall just alittle short everytime
Hard to find older guys to give up the secrets lol guess just gotta pay the dues
Solid, solid job advice but also completely applicable to life too 👍
The three years I spent working in collections taught me a ton about conflict resolution. The biggest lesson was, let them scream, curse, tell you how his wife left him and his dog died and his truck broke down and his company went bust (true story), and once they've finally gotten it all out then present them with solutions. Interrupting will only make their anger worse.
If someone stops paying you and then ghosts you, walk away. Yes you should have costed it better, but if they want to act like an asshole they will always act like an asshole.
Everyday, I go through periods of nuclear furiosity, psycho rage, hideous breakdowns, gamma anger, danger room meltdowns, frothing, carnal hate and crap like that 😂❤
You give amazing advice Adam. God if I could come work for you I would drop everything, buy a plane ticket at the quick and be there.
Looking forward to this one after you mentioning moral objections - after growing up in WY and not quite fitting in.
The way Jamie handled that is beautiful
Bad news: I label it right up front and directly, honestly and with nothing to hide;
“I’m about to frustrate you, with some bad news.”
Wait a beat, let them process, “Here’s the update…”
At this point I’m 35 years old with 20 years of experience, and that respectful adult approach has led to better outcomes than otherwise around 80% of the time.
You can do or say things that raise the likelihood of a positive response, but ultimately your interlocutor is involved too.
@tested - great stuff loving this channel.
I've had this experience working for the company I was working for last year and for some reason the gold plated pins we ordered for the electronic pacemakers we were building was having issues with the gold plating sticking to the pins and don't know why,it's first time it's ever happened and they're still trying to figure out this issue as we speak
Listening to this takes me straight to the "Fuck you, pay me" video you spoke about a few weeks ago. Starting out there are lessons to learn, and reading potential clients is definitely trial and error. I had no idea a check could be cancelled after cashing and spending, which is some really shadey rich-people shite.
Situations like that are so difficult exactly because they eat you alive before resolving them. You play imaginary conversations in your mind, what could they say, what can you answer, how would they escalate, what can you do to prevent real damage to your reputation etc. In cases like this I found that a comedic skit I watched when I was 12 years old on tv provided a life long solution.
It goes like this. It’s the middle of the night, a couple in bed, the husband is twisting and turning. His wife opens the light and says ‘’baby what’s going on?’’ He says ‘’I owe to our neighbor 2000 and I just can’t give them back by tomorrow, I don’t know how to tell him’’. And she says ‘’baby wait here one second leave this on me’’ she stands up opens the balcony door and shouts ‘’George! That money we owe you, we can’t pay them back by tomorrow!’’ She gets in, closes the doors, lies down and says ‘’sleep baby, now it’s the neighbor who is twisting around’’ 😅
good advice
I love how adams hands tell the story of his life. He always has dirt under his fingernails and cuts on his hands. He is the real deal.
I think it is part of being an adult, to have people in your past who don't think highly of you. I never intended it, and sometimes its not your fault, but it was sobering realisation.
And whatever you do: be honest!
I found when delivering bad news is to make sure you don't make your problems their problems. You underbid, you're taking the loss. You are too optimistic in how fast you can do it, you are working long days. Your plan was wrong, you need to fix it.
10:30 Are ocular migraines (which do suck) something that is actually precipitated by this level and kind of stress? Adam is the third case I know of. It seems to be stress combined with a sense of powerlessness. For me they started during my studies. For someone else I know it was child's grave illness. The body seems to say "You are not allowed to bash me this way. I will make you blind until morale improves."
Yes they're a thing. You nailed the situation when it happened to me.
Yes, such cases happen Adam, thank you for giving the most useful advice. Working with a customer is always a roller coaster ride, it’s a joke for everyone. The customer tells the designer he can play around with the font style. replies Yes I can make a font in the New Roman style. The CUSTOMER answers no, leave it as it was 😂😂😂😂
Great video sir
This is also how you fire people, isn't it?
that first story is like a goddamn sitcom plot lol
You can't say for sure the client *won't* be happy. I can certainly think of employees or contractors that I would be *thrilled* to cancel on me.
I Googled "can you put a stop payment on a check that has already cleared" and web said no. I'm sure that what you say happened happened, but I'm interested in what the full story is. I know that someone can place a stop payment on a check before they have even written it, because that happened to me. The FIRST and ONLY check I have accepted from a private party.
It’s a lot more complex than google will tell you. Also the story is from a fairly long time ago.
Technically under the right circumstances a stop order can happen within 14 days.
Oh, I was a photographic mural printer, mounter, and cutout / installation guy in SF 91-2000. I bet I did work for the guy you mentioned. Was his initials S.G.? Oh the stories.
*opens popcorn stand* We’re listening 😂
I had to Google the check thing because it sounded so bizarre, and I couldn't find any instance which after a check clears that someone could even put a stop payment on it unless theft or fraud is suspected.
oof
Hot rods are the hardest
Aha, but the caveat is dealing with micro-managing clients who are the cause of the delay! "Remember when I said that it wasn't a good idea to do such and such? Yeah, well, because of that, your own timeline is screwed up." Everyone leaves pissed off, but lesson learned is that you can't please everyone all the time - I just try to be nice, mostly. Good luck on all your future endeavors Adam!
Well, nobody can be mad at Jamie.....
Not if they want to live to tell about it. ;)
Deadline: “What’s the absolute worst case scenario if we miss the current due time?”
…A lot of due dates are arbitrary, and even if not, there’s usually some wiggle room, and even if not it’s time to discuss options.
OMG, your opening story is crazy.
Well, no point in avoiding it.
Just get on with it, explain it... and take it.
It never works to hide it. It never works to trick the other party.
Youve used the Toys R Us commercial story a couple times now, and I suspect you have used it several times in other talks to people. I believe it might have been word for word the same as the last time I heard you reference it here on Tested.
I have a friend that does the same thing. Ive heard him tell the same story to different people, and I swear he has the story memorized verbatim.
Not a criticism, just an observation...
Subject: avoiding giving your work away for free. I do web work for clients and I tend to bend over backwards, drop everything, fix an issue that usually takes less than an hour, but don’t bill them for this work. It annoys me that I give up my time for free.
Bill them then!
If you back out of a job for moral objections, to you offer them options?
The written contract should include clauses pertaining to cancellation.
thats an interesting "hot mic"
I would have appreciated hearing all that.... because you hear what you normally don't hear, the truth and you hear them trying to figure out how to be gentle when they tell you the truth
3:16 😮
Always start with a slight, under the breath mumble, “man, this is gonna suck”…then, proceed
Adam forgot he told the xmas story disaster already lol
Bad news ages like milk.
$1500 in 1992 is equivalent to $3400 today (2024)
The true answer is this: don't accept jobs that you can't do.
If you find out there's not enough time in the day, that you aren't capable of what you committed to, that you decide later what they are asking for is immoral, YOU are the asshole. They have every right to be mad.
Always have a Plan B
and C, D, E, F, G, ...
I still wonder how many people recognize the Dickens build, and realize the planner screwed you over on it...
Nice
I haven't got any, I'm dead, but if I had, I wouldn't make it anyway, it's like pretending to find a ray of sunlight into the freezer, no way. I knew that things wouldn't be as easy as before, but hell is crowdy and cables colder. I don't know. Namastè.
Talk is cheap, should have had this difficult conversation on video. I appreciate the advice and talking points...but meh.
Empathy? Speak for yourself, the longer I have to live in a world where the majority of people want leaders like Biden the less empathy I have for people, and at this s point it's GONE.
There's a word for people without empathy. They're called sociopaths. Or cowards.
It sounds like you never really understood what empathy is.
Also, the US is not the world.
Have you ever even considered the possibility that you might be wrong?