BEYOND THE FEAR: A Story of Postpartum OCD

*trigger warning - sensitive material **
My name is Jennifer Watson and I suffered from postpartum OCD. Ten years ago the words postpartum and OCD were not on my radar. I had no idea that becoming pregnant could trigger this condition, even though I have a family history of OCD. I made this film so other women with postpartum depression, anxiety and OCD don't suffer in silence. So they don't feel alone and isolated, and know that help is available. It is also my hope to create a dialogue with women, families, and health care professionals about postpartum depression and its many facets. Knowledge is power for an individual who is suffering and benefits them in their treatment and recovery. The more we know and understand about postpartum depression and anxiety the more we can help those who suffer.
“Beyond the Fear”, exposes a brutally honest and revealing look at what it’s like to experience postpartum depression, anxiety and OCD. Postpartum OCD is an anxiety disorder where women feel intense feelings of fear, isolation and paranoia due to violent and intrusive thoughts. “Beyond the Fear” explores one woman’s story from prenatal to postpartum OCD in four chapters; Chapter #1 Fear of hurting others, Chapter #2 Excessive cleaning, Chapter #3 Fear of poisoning and Chapter #4 Dark thoughts. The short film concludes with how the subject was finally able to get help and successfully move forward into motherhood.

[@Manifest444UrDreamz]

I suffered with postpartum ocd for 5 months after my son was born it was horrible. I wanted nothing more than to just be happy with my son. And apart from my ocd I also had vision,resiratory,dizziness problems and even memory loss. I finally found out it was vitamin b12 deficiency, I started taking this vitamin and I could feel my brain getting back to normal. I felt like myself again and didn't overlly worry anymore. Please moms go to your doctor it can really be as simple as taking a vitamin. You don't have to suffer you deserve to be happy with your baby and other loved ones.

[@sarahallouche]

Wow thank you for this! You are soo brave and beautiful! It is a scary place to be in especially when you don't know what is happening and you just want to be an amazing mother! Thank you for showing that recovery is possible and for your bravery and speaking about such a personal experience!

[@isthatyoursandwich]

I can empathise with you completely. Its a horrendous condition. Totally consumes you.. Its just you and your thoughts. The thoughts are horrible, the cleaning, the fear of something happening your baby. I was terrified of anyone sick near my baby. Its exhausting all the rituals. Like you I am slowly getting there. Its a Marathon not a sprint. Be kind to yourself along this journey of recovery. Best wishes

[@sarahwoodring4784]

I'm 25 week pregnant and already have this. I so scared and idk what to do. I have terrible n sick dream about my baby love so much. Every day I feel I need to die bc I can't deal the thoughts I'm having. I feel like this will always be my life and she's better off with someone else

[@micheleloschiavo4054]

Sarah I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. I know how painful it can be and how scary those thoughts are. I want to tell you first how brave you are by just saying what you are going through, that was the hardest for me. I hope you keep talking and find support to get you through this. I am not an expert but I listed some info below that you can reach out to for help. Know that you are not alone and there are amazing people out there who can help! Your life is so precious and important, so please find support.
You can email:
Postpartum Stress Center LLC
[e-mail]
Or
Find someone in your area
postpartum.net/

[@savennarose3713]

Hi Sarah. I was wondering how you are doing today?

[@tamannasvlog2182]

I am going same situation

[@calmchaos658]

Thank you for this