I have an aunt who was bipolar and went missing at 20 shortly after her baby's death in the 90s, we just went through the grieving process and now think of her as dead. I can't help waking up in the middle of the night just overcome by worry that she hadn't died and we failed her, and sometimes angry she did this to us.
@@ross-carlson thank you it's a very long story I was only 13 and she had been beaten and molested by her dad as were here siblings 2 of them turned out great one is just like that peice of shit Charlene ran away Rick shot and killed a security guard at a CVS pharmacy in Miami and then killed himself just a horrible situation But on the lighter side of things shortly after I posted that about my cousin my wife hired a p.i. and I found her and actually spoke with her she had enough of the abuse and went to police to get out of the situation when my grandparents found she snitched they told her they wouldn't have her in their home so she left hitched to California and was taken in by a family who later adopted her.......I'm crying as I type this btw.....she and her 19 year old daughter will be here for Christmas I asked why she never reached out and she said she was told no one in the family wanted her 😭😥
Been there, done that. I woke up in a ditch relatively uninjured other than my memory (motorcycle accident, no broken bones). I could still talk, spell, compute math problems, but I had no knowledge of geography, no memory of any relationships or any people's names. The cool thing about amnesia is you honestly don't even know there's a problem. Complete strangers were frantically angry at me for not being somewhere at a certain time, others were sobbing while asking me questions I didn't know the answers to ("what's your name", "where do you live", "what year is it"). Meanwhile I was totally chill, telling the strangers to not worry, they'll be ok. When my memory returned the next day, it turned out these people were my immediate family (parents, brothers). I will always remember not remembering, and that gives me a unique perspective on how urgent problems are only urgent if you remember that they are.
Dude, first I'm glad to hear you are alright. Second that's fascinating. If you haven't heard it, check it out there was a story I heard on NPR one time about this woman who just so happened to be a neurologist of all things who woke up one day and lost the ability to understand the concept of language. She couldn't speak, didn't understand words, anything, a total reset in a sense. She like you recovered but remembers how strange it was during that period and how it has since changed her viewpoint on understanding how we perceived and interact with the world.
I had a similar incident happen, I felt really calm, nothing mattered too much, sometimes wish I could go back to that state, it was the most calm I've felt in years.
I was in a detoxification program with Benjamin back in 2005 in Savannah Georgia. They had him in there because they just didn’t know what to do with him because they couldn’t figure out who he was. They kept shuffling him back and forth between shelters and places like this even though he wasn’t a drug user. I remembered the man and then left the program not knowing what happened to him. Years later, I searched his name to see if I could find out anything about him. Much to my surprise, he was on a bunch of different talk shows but I found out that for years after, this poor man fell through the cracks and ended up homeless. I’m so thankful that he finally found out who his family was and what his name was. He was such a nice guy when I met him years back. I’m glad his story came with a happy ending.
It’s honestly absurd that he had to have a valid photo ID to stay in a shelter in Florida, I can’t imagine how many people don’t have them, have lost them, or can’t get one due to situations like his that still would need to stay there.
@@Krytern it makes me scared to ever have mental health problems beyond what society is willing to deal with. People have sympathy for those with visible injuries, but mental problems people chalk up to laziness, carelessness, personal failings which is insane to me
I'm a psychiatric worker and I can't even tell you the nightmarish, life- destroying results of head injuries.....the vast majority of which (in that population) are violence related. Please, PLEASE, understand what exactly can happen when you punch or kick someone in the head. You maybe never learned another way to deal with anger, you may live in a culture that encourages fighting, or you could just plain like it- but understand that *one wrong hit* can land the other person in a hospital for the REST OF THEIR NATURAL LIFE. Sure, you might be pissed off.....but are you really mad enough to force someone to re-learn how to walk, to speak? To not be able to remember their own parents? To be forced back into diapers in their twenties? THINK about it, please.
As an NP in the ER I have had a patient that had no identity and was too mentally ill to tell us anything. I did manage to locate a family member, it was a very emotional moment, she thought he had been dead for 5 years.
But its depressing from our perspective. But for the person who lost their memory, probably aint that depressing cause they cant remember anything. They cant miss things or get caught up by sad memories cause the memories simply doesnt exist
@@bluebaconjake405 True, but it would still be daunting. Living all that time and not remembering anything about it and then just realising you've wasted about 70% of your life and have nothing to show for it, no memories, no anecdotes, no meaningful connections, that's depressing.
My father disappeared Oct 18, 1977. We looked everywhere, we retraced his steps countless times. My mother even got our senator involved, verified that his passport had not been used nor his SS#. The police were of no help whatsoever. They told my mom that her husband had left her and she needed to go home and raise her kids. Literally, that's what they told her! 5 Kids and the breadwinner is no longer present. From the family member's point of view, I can't even describe the horrors of not knowing... Year after year, the grieving process is slow and painful. But, we NEVER gave up hope. Nearly 27 years later, my father was found. Sept 2004, a car was spotted at the bottom of a pond in South Louisiana. That year, Florida was pummeled by hurricane after hurricane, leaving Louisiana in a bit of a drought. The normally 22 ft deep pond was about 11-12 ft more shallow than normal. The property owner, a farmer and his son were pumping water out to irrigate their fields when they spotted his car and called authorities. People try to say, 'Well, at least you got closure.' No, there is no such thing!! My heart still aches, even though I've now outlived him by 10+ yrs. Thank you for telling William's story.
Just finished reading the article, and the last line pushed me over the edge, tears flooded. Whe asked why he chose the name Benjaman, his answer was: “I read somewhere that it comes from Old Hebrew,” he said. “It means beloved son.” 😭😭😭
Sounds like a group formerly known as Majestic 12 scare tactic. i'm not scared. People know me. it's hard to hide when one is a foreigner in Japan. Someone would recognize me. Why is there no temporary SSN for people in America？
It's pretty common for handy people with the "fix it" gene to become hoarders. The logic brain takes over and says, "I shouldn't throw this away because it can be fixed". Over the course of a lifetime one then amasses far more than can ever possibly be fixed.
You, sir, have just added a major insight into my life. If I weren’t married, I’m certain that I’d be living in a fire hazard, with narrow pathways through the house and most rooms too full to enter. My wife has long kept my worst inclinations in check, and now she and Marie Kondo have ganged up on me.
My mom fixed that when I was young. Constantly moving and making me take a box into my room and fill it with stuff to get rid of/ yard sale. Like every 3 months.
My God Father lost his memory because of stress, 21 years ago, and guess what September 2019 he recovered his memory back! He remembers everything from 21 years ago. It is a miracle.
We still don't know how or where memories are stored which is kinda mind boggling. Especially given that not only animals of all types but even plants and unicellular slimemolds both from different branches of the Eukaryote tree have been found to be able to form long term memories. It is fascinating how something we consider so integral to our existence is still such a mystery
Dragrath1 once i saw a doc for “the brain by dr i forgot” that said the brain is like a city, and said that the memories are the neuron connections (billions of em)
@@mamindhive That was a hypothesis for a while but then we found out there are organisms which are unicellular and can make long term memories and other independently multicellular organisms like plants can remember stuff too. Thus memory can't be due to neural networks alone it seems to be something far older. You can impair memory formation in the same way in each case so it is presumably the same process or at least built off the same base components. TLDR memory can't be as simple as a network of neurons as slime molds and plants wouldn't be able to form and store long term memories. Of course the alternative is that there is some process which is predisposed towards evolving memory storage I'm curious whether anyone has experimented with other simple Eukaryotes perhaps even bacteria and archaea to see if they have the ability to remember things as I don't think anyone expected plants to be able to remember environmental stimuli, same deal with slime molds. (Note in both cases I know of long term memories found in non animal Eukaryotes the memories involved are based on Pavlovian conditioning based on environmental stimuli. )
I had a stroke in 2011. Before that I had (according to others) an amazing memory. I thought it was normal, never gave it a second thought. Post-stroke, though, I have little short-term memory. And the kicker is I don't know what I can't remember so I don't miss it. It's my new normal. I've heard stories about things I've done related by others of which I have zero recollection. My behavior is a tad different, as I'm apparently kinder and more patient than before, but I still wonder and sometimes worry about the frequent missing periods. Anyway, thank you for yet another fascinating and entertaining episode. :)
@@BlightBreedOfficial It's in writing, and I get notifications, so, ummm, kinda? Lots of times I have no idea why I posted what I did (on FaceBook, for example) unless there's some context. It's a strange thing. Have you ever entered a room and forgotten why you went there? I've driven to a different city then had no idea why I had done so.
Wow! What you're describing is one of my biggest fears in life. Props for the bravery and the fortitude you're able to display just by keeping on keeping on! I truly admire people like you.
"To them, these were my memories. To me, these were just stories I heard, stories I had no recollection of." Thank you for this particular piece -- it was heartbreaking to imagine even being in his shoes, but at least he found his way back. You are a master storyteller! And I had never heard of Dissociative Fugue before this. I get to learn something new everytime I watch your videos.
Yeah I was listening how people were kind of condemning him for not wanting to find out his past, as if somehow not wanting to know who he was was a sign that he wasn't actually having the experience he said he was. And yet these people who would probably consider themselves a "people person" never once thought to put themselves in his shoes and ask "Would I really want to know my history if it literally meant nothing to me?" or you know, if he'd want to know when nobody had reached out to try and find him despite the national coverage? They got angry at him for not wanting to know but now it comes across as more "Oh you aren't going to be MY meal ticket anymore? Let me smudge your name on top of all the shit you deal with on the way out!" and is more than a little sad.
Holy heck. This was absolutely fascinating. The way Joe revealed all these small details that got pieced together later on once his identity was figured out... Wow. Better than any mystery novels/shows I've seen of late
Agatha Christie went into a fugue state and went missing for 10 days. Even after she was found it took a long time before she could remember who she was. Her daughter said it was really traumatic being reunited with her mother, and her mother couldn't remember her.
When I was in high school, a friend of mine suffered this exact thing, a dissociative fugue/amnesia. She just woke up one day not knowing who she was. Luckily, she didn't get lost and her family was able to take care of her and help her. Though, as far as I know, she never regained her memory, apart from little bits and pieces. I later learned that she had witnessed a traumatic event and the extreme stress basically made her brain dump everything. Her life started over that day.
I’m in therapy for a dissociative disorder and while I don’t experience fugues, I have had moments where I’m suddenly in one place and either can’t remember how I got there, or it takes a while and some rlly hard thinking to pull it back up. It’s scary and I always feel a specific type of kinship towards stories like this because dissociative amnesia is smth I’m all too familiar with. It’s scary how easily the brain can do something like that when faced with something stressful enough.
My own childhood and family experience lead me to cut them off after years of struggle but I'm successful now and loved! You only have to ask yourself one question about a family member or family group entirely to know if it's a right decision for you to be in contact with them because of what other's say or impose on you as right- " would you be friends with them if not for the family or genetic tie?" For me it was "NO!" So I moved on. Happy ever since!
I am 65 years old and it took me 62 years to figure out what you said in this Post it has changed my life for the better I have suffered pain physical pain because of some people in my family I can’t do it anymore takes everything out of me to be that upset I wish I had figured this out long before now
That question of would you like this person to/ be friends if they weren’t related to you is so good. My dad, yes. If he was my coworker or some other way in my life randomly I would like and respect him. My mom however… I would probably go out of my way to avoid.
My aunt's husband went missing for 2 days and couldn't remember what happened. But it was later discovered that he had a secret profile on a dating website and was cheating on my aunt. I'm sure he lied about the whole thing.
A good chunk of hospitals used to be run by churches off of donations, nurses were commonly untrained staff in others, etc etc. I mean, if you want to go back to having amputations done with a basic hacksaw on grossly infected wooden floors and large portions of illnesses being unknown and people just dying. . . cool bruh?
@@austensible Who said anything about that? So now they kick you out after 3 days because their floors are cleaner, or is that the only way to keep their floors clean? Classic strawman argument.
@@austensible There was no cost and maintenance 20 years ago? Hospital profits are at all time high. They used to be a health service. Now they are a business. You're so gullible.
You, sir, are a gentleman and a storyteller worthy of great esteem. Your enthusiasm for things you find interesting is enlightening and refreshing. Thank you for sharing your mind with us.
@Howdy Justice Whether you recognise it on not, beauty has value. Some smart people are attractive and take advantage of that. Don't be a prude, it's 2020.
I hope "BK" is doing well today. Regardless, this video highlights the stark reality that life for some is so unimaginably hard, difficult, stressful, complicated and painful that sometimes it becomes absolutely necessary to forget it for one reason or another. The beauty of this story is about how a man's life was so unbearable he ditched it . . . and started another one he could accept on his own terms.
As a person who does sometimes suffer from occasional bouts of amnesia, I can't imagine what would happen if I didn't have my connections around me to help keep me on track. It's terrifying, and I'm glad he at least got some answers, even if he struggled for a long time.
Cece Moore is my cousin! Although we have never met it was cool to see her in one of your episodes. She has solved many cold cases using dna along with genealogy. Pretty rad she was the one to figure it all out.
So I had an uncle who went missing almost 30 years ago. However, my last interactions with him were child sexual abuse, and when my aunt started wondering why I was so scared of Bart, he pulled the stereotypical “go to get cigarettes” and never came back. To be honest I never really ever thought about it much as an adult. I guess it’s not uncommon to dissociate from childhood trauma. And I literally didn’t think about it for years. Until my drug addiction landed me in a coma for 2 weeks and when I woke up I had a hard time deciphering dreams in my coma from reality for a couple weeks. And a memory of my childhood sprung to mind. Involving me and my cousin who is the same age as me. The imagery and scenario was very similar to that shitty movie the Butterfly Effect. And for some reason I thought maybe something had happened. But my memory was confusing that film and real life. Cause I suffered a lot of non permanent brain damage in the first couple months after waking up. So I told my mom and asked her about it. And she almost brushed it off. And in a very weird way. So in my brain at the time I was thinking “maybe I’ve been saying a ton of crazy shit and she’s just brushing it off” until I contacted my cousin, she had been someone I had very limited interaction with my entire life. But being in a coma….lots of people start coming out of nowhere to be like “I wish I woulda tried more to help him “ and stuff like that since I was not expected to wake up. So I reached out to my cousin. And in hindsight almost selfishly, asked her if these weird memories I was having were real. Not expecting them to be real. And she hung up the phone. I tried calling a few times. And sent a message apologizing for asking such a personal question and that I was still having a hard time piecing together memories. And I get a very angry call from my other cousin who was a few years older asking me why the fuck I did that. And I apologized and was super fuckin confused. And at this point I’m wondering what the fuck is going on. I feel bad. But I’m also just wondering what the fuck are people mad at me for? And my other cousin who is 40 and i was 34, realized I wasn’t being selfish. I was sincerely confused and this reaction was making me so concerned. And she tells me about this memory I was having. And it was way worse than I ever realized. And beyond just repressing memories, it was much more more insane. To be completely honest. It probably should fuck with me. But it really doesn’t cause it doesn’t feel real. When I was 8 my family flew cross the country and visited my dads two sisters and my cousins. We apparently stayed for 2 months. During this time, my alcoholic uncle began doing inappropriate things with me under the guise of “yeah I’ll look after him. Play video games or something” But it turned out. He was drugging me and my 8 year old other cousin, and forcing us into sex acts with each other and forcing us to watch each other as he would rape us. He had apparently been doing this with my cousin for over a year. And they thought she was developing a learning disability because she seemed to be getting slower and slower. And then we go out there. And this stuff starts happening, and he gave me my chocolaete milk with alcohol and barbiturates in it, (this was the early 90s) and I threw it up on accident without him knowing. So as he begins to force me into all this sexual shit, I’m almost fully coherent, and started to freak out. So he forced me to drink the milk, and I didn’t even really understand the concept of being drugged I think I thought it was medicine or something. And I passed out. And didn’t wake up. So he makes up some shit. And I get taken to the hospital and he musta realized that their gonna know something is up. And told my aunt he was literally going to buy cigarettes, and left the hospital. Attempted to burn down the little guest house shed behind their house where he would do all this shit. And took all the VIDEOS he made of this. But forgot to take one tape out of one of his cameras, and yeah. So, I didn’t have any memory of these things that happened. But my cousin however did. And apparently spent her childhood in a hospital because it messed with her head so much and for obvious reasons. And this was southern Cali in the 90s so they tried weird alternative things like hypnosis and apparently helped her repress all these memories. And since I didn’t even know it happened at this point, I didn’t need therapy (or much ). And nobody ever saw my uncle again. Altho they think he may have stolen a boat and either killed himself or died in the ocean (cuse that same day a small boat was stolen that had motor issues, and people saw a man take out this boat towards the ocean and never come back) So anyways. This story made me think of this cause it was so crazy to be told all these horrific details about my 8yr old summer and I felt horrible that I called my cousin, and dislodged all these memories of her father raping her. No happy ending here. Nothing really to be learned or anything. Just a fucked up story.
Am I the only person that read this in full? 2 Months and no replies to this?? Damn, people are boring. This is simply movie plot worthy my dear commenter. To me this it is absolutely insane that any of the people I see out and about everyday could be living just as we all do, but with a horrible experience like this in their memory. I don't care who you are or what you blah blah blah Brett S, just for living through that and existing to comment that here, I'm wishing you the absolute best of luck in life. Kick ass dude.
Wow, I'm sorry this happened to you! Some people are so fucked up they have to take it out on others, especially children who are vulnerable!!! Wishing you the best❤
Omg that's awful. I guess he got what was coming to him and saved you guys the trauma of having to testify against him. I hope you and your cousin are doing better.
So, you gained like pieces of your memory of child abuse or sexual abuse, while you were in coma? I don't think anybody can process that experience. As a kid I had listened to this song in foreign language, probably when I was 4 or 5 and then never had a chance to listen to that particular song or any similar music ever until I was in college and spotify just played it in a random playlist. that reawakening of memory hit me so hard that even after years I still get goosebumps just thinking about that moment. I cannot compare my experience to yours just looking at magnitude of emotions attached and the way you regained your memory.
One of my favorite novels concerns the tangled life of a man with this condition, "Random Harvest." It was also made into a fine movie with the same title, starring Ronald Colman and Greer Garson. I strongly recommend reading the novel before seeing the film.
Read a book? Last book I read was this novel I wrote with a 200+ blank pages symbolically telling the reader it's never to late for a fresh start in life. This masterpiece future best seller is still waiting for a publisher! I highly recommend it.
No. Not even close. He effectively was a walking corpse. Lowest possible potential obtainment. Effectively erasing "who you are" is "killing who you were," it's both a metaphorical and literal death of oneself.
@@DJaquithFL from what I understood he lost his identity again after being beaten behind that dumpster, and before that he was traumatized by his abusive father
@@klittlet .. You're conflating time lines, the beating behind Burger King was many years later. Regardless, who you remember to be is who you are and to lose that is effectively a form of death. Imagine who you are today to be completely lost. That identity and that person is effectively dead. Your mindless body isn't "you."
- Being found passed out on the floor - Surprised at how he looked in the mirror - Impossible to trace - Changed his identity a time or two and wandered off I think he was actually the Doctor, freshly regenerated
I'm glad that BK has been getting his life together, with a home and job. All he needed was a bit of help and care along the way. I know what it's like to have Amnesia, had it four times. The first time I was a young child and didn't know who anyone was, not even my Mama. Two of the other bouts were very terrible, many months of recovering. The fourth one I just remembered after more than thirty years later. I've had a NDE, been saved by an Angel (and it was witnessed) and had other health challenges too but none of it has kept me from doing what I can, such as: raised a child with next to no help (while recovering from two bouts of Amnesia), joining a non-credit program at a local university (one of my dreams since I was about four), having a few short stories and poems published (another dream since I was a young child), good paying part time jobs/contracts whenever I can and so much more. I have always had a passion for learning, which helped immensely-doing puzzles, reading, learning in any way I could whenever I could, which I still do. I owe the extent of my recovery, which I think is amazing, to my Heavenly Father's good grace.
"It's kinda cool, gives a nice little target in case you ever want to get shot in the chest" Joe, you're almost as good as Hank Green at this marketing thing...
@@joescott It's the complication and commitment thing, there is also success anxiety, "If nobody buys I'm out the investment and personally rejected." Geoff Who is not famous.
Man, it has got to be really scary to be him. If he's actually honest and doesn't know much about his last 21 years he would have no idea what he did to stay alive, what he could have done to other people, and what happened to him.
What disturbed me most about this is that I remember a time when people with mental disorders had places to live. I’m sure many of those places were BAD places to live, but at least people had their basic needs met. Consider this: what is the general feeling about the homeless? They are “a nuisance”. Is this progress for humanity? Classifying human beings as a nuisance? That would have been a classic dystopian horror scenario back in the fifties and sixties. This guy should not have had to rely on random kindness just so he had food and shelter. NO ONE should.
When you live in the land of pirates, as in the US, nothing is free and everyone’s out theirs. You run into the occasional angel 😇 but unfortunately they don’t make the rules.
Most of those "group homes" that are run by volunteers and are paid by Disability checks, don't take people that have some semblance of intelligence. Mostly because he wouldn't fit in and he would get tired of the rules....also there's a lot of paperwork involved. My Nephew was in that situation. They'd rather he stay with friends. He's a lot better off.
Found this channel randomly and happy/thankful for this video in particular. I have a dissociative disorder myself, including the amnesia. Usually people have no idea about it so thanks for this educational video. Also I know I’m late to the vid, but if anyone wants to ask questions, I am okay with that. I want people to know more in case they see signs in a loved one. I mean, once this disorder caused me to run away into the woods at night with no light source or phone. I’m only lucky that I was diagnosed in my teens so I got a ton of therapy to prevent these incidents. I still struggle but rarely have episodes where I flee and/or don’t know who I am/where I am. If I do, usually I have notes around giving me help like I always have the date and year on a board on my wall. Sadly my condition is caused by a combination of genetic predisposition and early childhood repetitive trauma (including a head injury), so there’s no cure but there are great treatments and medications for some symptoms. As is, hope everyone now has a better understanding and can be kinder to those with memory issues in their lives like elderly family members.
Hi there, my partner earlier this year kept having memory loss and once we connected with others with DID, we realised what it was. I hope it's okay, but I'd love to ask questions! There's so much out there that isn't helpful because it's not information from people who have lived experience. Thank you for putting yourself out there and sharing your story!
I also deal with dissociation issues (a mixture of depersonalisation/derealisation, conversion disorder and a weird not-quite-singlet-not-quite-plural sense of identity. It’s messy, as many of these things are), and whilst I don’t get significant memory loss, it hasn’t stopped me from ending up in similar situations, running off and wandering the streets at night with no shoes, or having uncontrollable screaming and spasming episodes that people have mistaken for a full-on stroke in the past. That’s the thing about these disorders that can be hard to grasp, because the idea of having a body or mind that isn’t fully yours or under your control can seem horrifying to the uninitiated. But for us, it’s just another mundane fact of life. Taking notes, warning your family of potential triggers and learning to take care of yourself becomes part of the routine, even if it can seem overwhelming when these symptoms start to show at first. I, for example, really like video games, because having my mind and bodyselves focus on the same task allows them to stay together and not drift apart :D
I can relate so much in so many ways... a number of years ago, for no apparent reason, I slipped into a 15 day amnesia. I've had many, many traumas and I deal with PTSD. I was already disabled but my thinking processes had always worked fine. I didn't know until I came out of it but I had had amnesia for 15 days. I still don't know why it happened but my older sister said I would call her at work, she would tell me to stay put so she could get me, but I would say I was ok and hang up. By day 15 she could see that I was calling from home so she told me to take some Nyquil and take a nap. When I woke up, I was me again. But I have no idea where I was, what I did nor who I talked to. I cried for two weeks thinking the sheriff would show up and tell me that I'd hit someone. I can't begin to fathom what this man has gone through but the sample I got showed me that it's a nightmare. I spent so much time in therapy asking 'why' until my counselor finally got it through to me that I might never know, but that I was safe again. I had two other short spells but I'm doing better now. I wish him well as he builds a new life.
Or maybe it is a good thing to not remember the trauma of his childhood and years spent drinking and dissolute. It's a fresh start, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.
The only thing that’s been going through my mind is when you mentioned that he spent months at a hospital and I can’t even imagine what the bill looked like ...
@@giovonnielewis4329 I don't care either way because it's not really a common enough thing or a thing with many concrete or direct causes outside of typical human experience that are hard to control.
Zombie Buddy In the US we put the month before the day 3/14 and because of this it is national pi day 3.14. At our schools kids bring in various kinds of pies and exchanges pieces of pie with each other. It is also my daughters birthday, and it was like the whole school celebrating her birthday with pies every year. 👍
Large sections of my childhood are unrecallable. Or at least they were, until sustaining a severe emotional trauma a year ago. Now I can recall it all, and it's actually changed my personality as those memories have fallen into the timeline of memories I have within my ability to recall.
It's actually a bit remarkable that being someone with major depression and a dissociative disorder, I'm still here. I've attempted suicide twice, and both times, I was in a dissociative state. I didn't remember what happened afterward until years later. Thankfully both times someone came along to stop me before I managed to succeed. Now that I stopped blacking out while dissociating. It's getting easier and easier to manage. I've stopped doing things that lead to my own bodily harm, and that there is one hell of a step forward. No more broken knuckles.
His story really highlights the inhumane way we treat our homeless population. Not everyone can keep paperwork like birth certs and ss cards, few people can afford to pay for a photo ID - and they do cost money. So do all replacement documents. And you need one to get the other to get the other and so on. Even if he knew his ss# because trivia memory isn't stored as episodic memory, he would have had to prove it was his with questions he couldn't hope to answer. There is no leeway for our homeless and those who need help the most cannot access it.
Aside from how deranged it is to require IDs for a homeless shelter, you're telling me that in all these years of professionals and law enforcement involved in his case, no one could get him a new ID?!
In the US, your DL or state ID (you can hold either one, in some states both) is assigned based on your social security number. Without an SSN the government literally doesn't see you as a person. (It can also be said that this prevents criminals from changing their identities, but in cases like this it really blows)
i had my wallet stolen once and lost birth certificate, i dont have family or long term aquaintences so they put me through a process where they try to get "a credible member of the community" like a priest, a doctor, a mayor anything to vouch for who you are, the process took about 4 months and came really close to not working, which was terrifying because they said otherwise i would basically just not exist, forever.
That social security number thing is ridiculous. I mean in terms of rules it makes sense, but there needs to be a procedure for exceptions - imagine a kid being the sole survivor of a house burning down or a train crash. Where would you find the social security number? But wow, I'm so happy for Benjaman and the filmmaker for finding each other and apparently turning this into quite a piece of art. :)
I occasionally have a feeling like this, when i wake up for a moment i'm like 'whoa, what happened, who am i, what the.... and reality wiggles back into position somehow....
Dr. Weird that sounds like depersonalisation it's not to uncommon, but if, and it can, last for hours it's a real bitch. I had an attack like that about six months ago on a sunday it was really unsettling and up setting
The photo you have on there of the two soldiers, one holding the other starting at 12 minutes and 19 seconds....... is actually my grandfather. His name was Paul Robert Williams the second. He is the man that is holding the other man in his arms. It was his friend, and he was holding him as he passed. My husband and I seen that and was completely floored! My kids were actually so excited. I see this photo all the time and very few people know of its story.
People with memory problems often become hoarders because they think that by throwing something away (even a piece of objective garbage) they will lose the memory associated with it.
I heard about BK ages ago, it is good to get the update on who he really is.. I have major issues with memory, the neurologist has no idea why, it’s been a lifelong problem.. I can completely sympathize with BK behaving ‘ambivalent’ about finding out more.. I’m sure his subconscious emotions would retain the discomfort of the family associations even if his memory wouldn’t remember WHY, that alone would make discovery less appealing. When you don’t remember years of your life, you don’t “miss it” and you tend to live more in the present moment.. When I take time to reflect or someone asks about a specific memory I sometimes feel sad that I’ve lost the memories. it’s an interesting situation truly.. because you just can’t miss what you don’t remember.. so it doesn’t bother you.. it’s just how things are.. Thanks for the in-depth info on this story, very interesting!! :)
I've long ago stopped looking at myself in the mirror since I don't recognize myself anymore. The lines on my face are testement to the years that have flipped by so fast I cant remember, but who can!? When I think of all the people I've known I quickly realize that I've forgotten more names than I remember. This is all in my head and noone will remember anything when I'm dead
Would be interesting to know if they tried a regression style hypnosis with this guy. They just might unlock the mystery finally. I guess stranger things have happened to people. At least now he is where he came from and can find some peace possibly.
@@lordnagatron Joe a few years from now discovers the secrets of time travel. He attempts to travel back in time to appear in one of his own skits but overshoots the jump. This somehow makes him lose his memory but he lives his new life just fine. One day, he finds himself confronting a gang behind a Burger King...
Thank you! I wondered why more people hadn't picked up on that. When I saw the thumbnail (before seeing the video name), I thought it was a video on ageing with a crazy well-done mock up of Future!Joe.
The fake that childhood memories were the only things that remained is so interesting. There so much I can't even remember about the last few years but there's so very very strong and specific random childhood memories I have. Alot of ppl think those memories must be the hardest encoded in your brain if they have survived all the growing and changing your brain goes thru, so that makes sense why those were the ones he remembers
I had a cousin who went missing at 15
She'd be 41 now
I love you Charlene
I have an aunt who was bipolar and went missing at 20 shortly after her baby's death in the 90s, we just went through the grieving process and now think of her as dead.
I can't help waking up in the middle of the night just overcome by worry that she hadn't died and we failed her, and sometimes angry she did this to us.
Oof
@@availanila that's mad, I never thought of anybody that might be in that situation. I hope you find peace.
Don't even know how to respond to that but I wanted to. I hope you see her again but if you don't I hope you come to terms with it and are peaceful.
@@ross-carlson thank you it's a very long story I was only 13 and she had been beaten and molested by her dad as were here siblings 2 of them turned out great one is just like that peice of shit Charlene ran away Rick shot and killed a security guard at a CVS pharmacy in Miami and then killed himself just a horrible situation
But on the lighter side of things shortly after I posted that about my cousin my wife hired a p.i. and I found her and actually spoke with her she had enough of the abuse and went to police to get out of the situation when my grandparents found she snitched they told her they wouldn't have her in their home so she left hitched to California and was taken in by a family who later adopted her.......I'm crying as I type this btw.....she and her 19 year old daughter will be here for Christmas I asked why she never reached out and she said she was told no one in the family wanted her 😭😥
Been there, done that. I woke up in a ditch relatively uninjured other than my memory (motorcycle accident, no broken bones). I could still talk, spell, compute math problems, but I had no knowledge of geography, no memory of any relationships or any people's names. The cool thing about amnesia is you honestly don't even know there's a problem. Complete strangers were frantically angry at me for not being somewhere at a certain time, others were sobbing while asking me questions I didn't know the answers to ("what's your name", "where do you live", "what year is it"). Meanwhile I was totally chill, telling the strangers to not worry, they'll be ok. When my memory returned the next day, it turned out these people were my immediate family (parents, brothers). I will always remember not remembering, and that gives me a unique perspective on how urgent problems are only urgent if you remember that they are.
Just wanted to say thanks for sharing your story :) I'm glad you're ok :)
That shits a trip huh 😂
Dude, first I'm glad to hear you are alright. Second that's fascinating. If you haven't heard it, check it out there was a story I heard on NPR one time about this woman who just so happened to be a neurologist of all things who woke up one day and lost the ability to understand the concept of language. She couldn't speak, didn't understand words, anything, a total reset in a sense. She like you recovered but remembers how strange it was during that period and how it has since changed her viewpoint on understanding how we perceived and interact with the world.
@@jasonflay8818I really want to find this!! Any idea what the women was name or any other clues
I had a similar incident happen, I felt really calm, nothing mattered too much, sometimes wish I could go back to that state, it was the most calm I've felt in years.
I was in a detoxification program with Benjamin back in 2005 in Savannah Georgia. They had him in there because they just didn’t know what to do with him because they couldn’t figure out who he was. They kept shuffling him back and forth between shelters and places like this even though he wasn’t a drug user. I remembered the man and then left the program not knowing what happened to him. Years later, I searched his name to see if I could find out anything about him. Much to my surprise, he was on a bunch of different talk shows but I found out that for years after, this poor man fell through the cracks and ended up homeless. I’m so thankful that he finally found out who his family was and what his name was. He was such a nice guy when I met him years back. I’m glad his story came with a happy ending.
benjaman*
@@fartedcactus william*
😊
I am hoping you are clean and that you have your life back.
@@btrueeth who is the “you” in your post?
It’s honestly absurd that he had to have a valid photo ID to stay in a shelter in Florida, I can’t imagine how many people don’t have them, have lost them, or can’t get one due to situations like his that still would need to stay there.
It is absurd that in that country they won't help a lost man with amnesia at all, just remove him from the hospital when healed and leave him at it..
@@Krytern it makes me scared to ever have mental health problems beyond what society is willing to deal with. People have sympathy for those with visible injuries, but mental problems people chalk up to laziness, carelessness, personal failings which is insane to me
@@stephaniehealey569 Is that an American thing? I know here in the UK we get help with mental health problems.
@@Krytern LoL. The UK has enuf problems of its own
@@PInk77W1 I never said it didn't so what's your point? Also what the hell kind of spelling is "enuf" are you five?
I'm a psychiatric worker and I can't even tell you the nightmarish, life- destroying results of head injuries.....the vast majority of which (in that population) are violence related.
Please, PLEASE, understand what exactly can happen when you punch or kick someone in the head. You maybe never learned another way to deal with anger, you may live in a culture that encourages fighting, or you could just plain like it- but understand that *one wrong hit* can land the other person in a hospital for the REST OF THEIR NATURAL LIFE.
Sure, you might be pissed off.....but are you really mad enough to force someone to re-learn how to walk, to speak? To not be able to remember their own parents? To be forced back into diapers in their twenties?
THINK about it, please.
When I was about 12 my father punched me in the back of the head. I had headaches there for years - maybe until I was 20. Dear old dad..............
@@AndrashSpooshkash my mom used a candle once. I remember that because the pain was so sharp.
@@alecfleming373 Dear old Mom and Dad................
My father had a very similar experience as mr B.K and I have always thought it was because of all the boxing he did as a young boy
I'm a bartender, I get it. It's not worth it, just go home and sleep it off.
As an NP in the ER I have had a patient that had no identity and was too mentally ill to tell us anything. I did manage to locate a family member, it was a very emotional moment, she thought he had been dead for 5 years.
Wow
Yikes.
May I ask how?
@@ABC-vv4cm Long time ago but I think I called homeless shelters
Can't imagine how depressing it would be to lose your memory, come round and still think you were in your 20s and then find out you were 60-something.
Reminds me of that story from 999 book.
But its depressing from our perspective. But for the person who lost their memory, probably aint that depressing cause they cant remember anything. They cant miss things or get caught up by sad memories cause the memories simply doesnt exist
@@bluebaconjake405 True, but it would still be daunting. Living all that time and not remembering anything about it and then just realising you've wasted about 70% of your life and have nothing to show for it, no memories, no anecdotes, no meaningful connections, that's depressing.
Sportacus yeah. The worst part is waking up realizing you are years older and not having any memory of living
Depends on how messed up your life was. Some might consider it a blessing
My father disappeared Oct 18, 1977. We looked everywhere, we retraced his steps countless times. My mother even got our senator involved, verified that his passport had not been used nor his SS#. The police were of no help whatsoever. They told my mom that her husband had left her and she needed to go home and raise her kids. Literally, that's what they told her! 5 Kids and the breadwinner is no longer present. From the family member's point of view, I can't even describe the horrors of not knowing... Year after year, the grieving process is slow and painful. But, we NEVER gave up hope. Nearly 27 years later, my father was found. Sept 2004, a car was spotted at the bottom of a pond in South Louisiana. That year, Florida was pummeled by hurricane after hurricane, leaving Louisiana in a bit of a drought. The normally 22 ft deep pond was about 11-12 ft more shallow than normal. The property owner, a farmer and his son were pumping water out to irrigate their fields when they spotted his car and called authorities. People try to say, 'Well, at least you got closure.' No, there is no such thing!! My heart still aches, even though I've now outlived him by 10+ yrs.
Thank you for telling William's story.
Just finished reading the article, and the last line pushed me over the edge, tears flooded.
Whe asked why he chose the name Benjaman, his answer was:
“I read somewhere that it comes from Old Hebrew,” he said. “It means beloved son.” 😭😭😭
I know right :'( it's so interesting how we remember these things out of all things.... I'm crying throwing up
Yes!!! 😭🥺🥺
It's fucked up how you can lose your memories and not be able to get work cause you forgot your SSN. Basically the gov leaving you to die.
For real there should be like a temporary SSN that they can issue for special circumstances
Sounds like a group formerly known as Majestic 12 scare tactic. i'm not scared. People know me. it's hard to hide when one is a foreigner in Japan. Someone would recognize me.
Why is there no temporary SSN for people in America？
@@meganissertell413 I'm sure there is.
Just pretend you’re an illegal and the demtards will give you everything. You don’t need ID or ssn when it comes to demturds
🤔 doesn’t matter 😮 because you are not leaving the VAT system 😎
It's pretty common for handy people with the "fix it" gene to become hoarders. The logic brain takes over and says, "I shouldn't throw this away because it can be fixed". Over the course of a lifetime one then amasses far more than can ever possibly be fixed.
You, sir, have just added a major insight into my life. If I weren’t married, I’m certain that I’d be living in a fire hazard, with narrow pathways through the house and most rooms too full to enter.
My wife has long kept my worst inclinations in check, and now she and Marie Kondo have ganged up on me.
My mom fixed that when I was young.
Constantly moving and making me take a box into my room and fill it with stuff to get rid of/ yard sale.
Like every 3 months.
That, and the spare parts aspect, I suspect.
I’m in the maintenance field myself and ironically I’m the one having to keep my wife in check. Lol
I do that a little bit, but it’s more of a “Oh I could use this to fix any one of a number of broken things”.
My God Father lost his memory because of stress, 21 years ago, and guess what September 2019 he recovered his memory back! He remembers everything from 21 years ago. It is a miracle.
Tell us more. He should write a book
What’s the books name!
@@jackrademaker5696 I don't remember.
I love stories like these. They really highlight how much we don't understand about ourselves. Just fascinating stuff
The human mind; can it truly know itself?
We still don't know how or where memories are stored which is kinda mind boggling. Especially given that not only animals of all types but even plants and unicellular slimemolds both from different branches of the Eukaryote tree have been found to be able to form long term memories. It is fascinating how something we consider so integral to our existence is still such a mystery
Dragrath1 once i saw a doc for “the brain by dr i forgot” that said the brain is like a city, and said that the memories are the neuron connections (billions of em)
@@mamindhive That was a hypothesis for a while but then we found out there are organisms which are unicellular and can make long term memories and other independently multicellular organisms like plants can remember stuff too. Thus memory can't be due to neural networks alone it seems to be something far older. You can impair memory formation in the same way in each case so it is presumably the same process or at least built off the same base components.
TLDR memory can't be as simple as a network of neurons as slime molds and plants wouldn't be able to form and store long term memories. Of course the alternative is that there is some process which is predisposed towards evolving memory storage I'm curious whether anyone has experimented with other simple Eukaryotes perhaps even bacteria and archaea to see if they have the ability to remember things as I don't think anyone expected plants to be able to remember environmental stimuli, same deal with slime molds. (Note in both cases I know of long term memories found in non animal Eukaryotes the memories involved are based on Pavlovian conditioning based on environmental stimuli. )
@David Tucker Just curious how is his cartoon face by your name?
I had a stroke in 2011. Before that I had (according to others) an amazing memory. I thought it was normal, never gave it a second thought.
Post-stroke, though, I have little short-term memory. And the kicker is I don't know what I can't remember so I don't miss it. It's my new normal. I've heard stories about things I've done related by others of which I have zero recollection.
My behavior is a tad different, as I'm apparently kinder and more patient than before, but I still wonder and sometimes worry about the frequent missing periods.
Anyway, thank you for yet another fascinating and entertaining episode. :)
Will you remember typing this?
Stay strong M 💪
M. Brysch wish you well pal
@@BlightBreedOfficial It's in writing, and I get notifications, so, ummm, kinda? Lots of times I have no idea why I posted what I did (on FaceBook, for example) unless there's some context.
It's a strange thing. Have you ever entered a room and forgotten why you went there? I've driven to a different city then had no idea why I had done so.
Wow! What you're describing is one of my biggest fears in life.
Props for the bravery and the fortitude you're able to display just by keeping on keeping on! I truly admire people like you.
"To them, these were my memories. To me, these were just stories I heard, stories I had no recollection of."
Thank you for this particular piece -- it was heartbreaking to imagine even being in his shoes, but at least he found his way back. You are a master storyteller! And I had never heard of Dissociative Fugue before this. I get to learn something new everytime I watch your videos.
Yeah I was listening how people were kind of condemning him for not wanting to find out his past, as if somehow not wanting to know who he was was a sign that he wasn't actually having the experience he said he was. And yet these people who would probably consider themselves a "people person" never once thought to put themselves in his shoes and ask "Would I really want to know my history if it literally meant nothing to me?" or you know, if he'd want to know when nobody had reached out to try and find him despite the national coverage? They got angry at him for not wanting to know but now it comes across as more "Oh you aren't going to be MY meal ticket anymore? Let me smudge your name on top of all the shit you deal with on the way out!" and is more than a little sad.
Holy heck. This was absolutely fascinating. The way Joe revealed all these small details that got pieced together later on once his identity was figured out... Wow. Better than any mystery novels/shows I've seen of late
He got the state wrong.
Calm down
Mr Ballen...
Imagine the horror of having “Car Wash” as the only movie you can remember.
Comment of the day. Bravo.
Hey, I loved “Car Wash”! Hahahahaha
great movie, not a bad memory
But that means you can watch all the classics again for the first time
N Marrs 😂😂😂😂😂
Aliens: “The one that got away...”
Billdo Baggins think u need to lay-off the coke buddy....
Lol I was thinking the same thing. 👽
@Eddie Glover dildo jaaajaaja alucinating
@Eddie Glover thans i love you to
Always in Colorado 😭
Agatha Christie went into a fugue state and went missing for 10 days. Even after she was found it took a long time before she could remember who she was. Her daughter said it was really traumatic being reunited with her mother, and her mother couldn't remember her.
Nah. Agatha Christie was faking amnesia to get back at Archie in the way it would hurt most- by embarrassing the heck out of him.
When I was in high school, a friend of mine suffered this exact thing, a dissociative fugue/amnesia. She just woke up one day not knowing who she was. Luckily, she didn't get lost and her family was able to take care of her and help her. Though, as far as I know, she never regained her memory, apart from little bits and pieces. I later learned that she had witnessed a traumatic event and the extreme stress basically made her brain dump everything. Her life started over that day.
I’m in therapy for a dissociative disorder and while I don’t experience fugues, I have had moments where I’m suddenly in one place and either can’t remember how I got there, or it takes a while and some rlly hard thinking to pull it back up. It’s scary and I always feel a specific type of kinship towards stories like this because dissociative amnesia is smth I’m all too familiar with.
It’s scary how easily the brain can do something like that when faced with something stressful enough.
My own childhood and family experience lead me to cut them off after years of struggle but I'm successful now and loved! You only have to ask yourself one question about a family member or family group entirely to know if it's a right decision for you to be in contact with them because of what other's say or impose on you as right- " would you be friends with them if not for the family or genetic tie?" For me it was "NO!" So I moved on. Happy ever since!
Agreed. If you wouldn't tolerate them if they were just a friend being related to them is no excuse for ruining your own mental health.
I am 65 years old and it took me 62 years to figure out what you said in this Post it has changed my life for the better I have suffered pain physical pain because of some people in my family I can’t do it anymore takes everything out of me to be that upset I wish I had figured this out long before now
That question of would you like this person to/ be friends if they weren’t related to you is so good.
My dad, yes. If he was my coworker or some other way in my life randomly I would like and respect him. My mom however… I would probably go out of my way to avoid.
My aunt's husband went missing for 2 days and couldn't remember what happened. But it was later discovered that he had a secret profile on a dating website and was cheating on my aunt. I'm sure he lied about the whole thing.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
lol
Damn should have stayed disappeared
did he also cook meth?
I agree. This dude made that shit up so he wouldn't have to explain his backstory to people when he first met them..
Good old times when one could stay in the hospital for a few months. Nowadays they kick you out after 3 days.
Facts 🤣🤣🤣
A good chunk of hospitals used to be run by churches off of donations, nurses were commonly untrained staff in others, etc etc. I mean, if you want to go back to having amputations done with a basic hacksaw on grossly infected wooden floors and large portions of illnesses being unknown and people just dying. . . cool bruh?
@@austensible
Who said anything about that?
So now they kick you out after 3 days because their floors are cleaner, or is that the only way to keep their floors clean?
Classic strawman argument.
Costs, maintenance, etc etc. It's not strawman. You just don't want to think for yourself.
@@austensible
There was no cost and maintenance 20 years ago?
Hospital profits are at all time high. They used to be a health service. Now they are a business. You're so gullible.
He's literally a reverse missing person where normally you know who but not where, in this case we know where but not who
You, sir, are a gentleman and a storyteller worthy of great esteem. Your enthusiasm for things you find interesting is enlightening and refreshing. Thank you for sharing your mind with us.
"Cede Moore ... a former beauty queen who found a second career as a DNA specialist." Love that!
@Howdy Justice Some of them think it is.
Most Beauty Queens are paid in tuition. They are students with planned carriers.
@Howdy Justice it definitely is for kids and young women who live and breathe the pageant circuit. Just one that ends much earlier than others.
DNA specialists.
@Howdy Justice Whether you recognise it on not, beauty has value. Some smart people are attractive and take advantage of that. Don't be a prude, it's 2020.
I hope "BK" is doing well today. Regardless, this video highlights the stark reality that life for some is so unimaginably hard, difficult, stressful, complicated and painful that sometimes it becomes absolutely necessary to forget it for one reason or another. The beauty of this story is about how a man's life was so unbearable he ditched it . . . and started another one he could accept on his own terms.
Cece Moore and her team at Parabon are fantastic Genetic Geneolgists. They have solved quite a few cold cases in recent years.
*genetic genealogists
alvallac21 🙂🙂interesting that you felt the need to correct me 🙂
Cece Moore is a big star in this field. She's often mention in some true crimes podcasts
@@Lindys
There seems to always be THAT person.
Lynn Williams I’m pretty sure the words geneticist not genetic genologist
I find this story intriguing but also really heartbreaking. I hope William has found happiness.
What if DB Cooper hit his head and forgot everything?
Wow... that would be just sad.
@@dikshyasurvi6869 all the money, none of the guilt.
As a person who does sometimes suffer from occasional bouts of amnesia, I can't imagine what would happen if I didn't have my connections around me to help keep me on track. It's terrifying, and I'm glad he at least got some answers, even if he struggled for a long time.
Cece Moore is my cousin! Although we have never met it was cool to see her in one of your episodes. She has solved many cold cases using dna along with genealogy. Pretty rad she was the one to figure it all out.
So I had an uncle who went missing almost 30 years ago. However, my last interactions with him were child sexual abuse, and when my aunt started wondering why I was so scared of Bart, he pulled the stereotypical “go to get cigarettes” and never came back. To be honest I never really ever thought about it much as an adult. I guess it’s not uncommon to dissociate from childhood trauma. And I literally didn’t think about it for years. Until my drug addiction landed me in a coma for 2 weeks and when I woke up I had a hard time deciphering dreams in my coma from reality for a couple weeks. And a memory of my childhood sprung to mind. Involving me and my cousin who is the same age as me. The imagery and scenario was very similar to that shitty movie the Butterfly Effect. And for some reason I thought maybe something had happened. But my memory was confusing that film and real life. Cause I suffered a lot of non permanent brain damage in the first couple months after waking up.
So I told my mom and asked her about it. And she almost brushed it off. And in a very weird way. So in my brain at the time I was thinking “maybe I’ve been saying a ton of crazy shit and she’s just brushing it off” until I contacted my cousin, she had been someone I had very limited interaction with my entire life. But being in a coma….lots of people start coming out of nowhere to be like “I wish I woulda tried more to help him “ and stuff like that since I was not expected to wake up.
So I reached out to my cousin. And in hindsight almost selfishly, asked her if these weird memories I was having were real. Not expecting them to be real. And she hung up the phone. I tried calling a few times. And sent a message apologizing for asking such a personal question and that I was still having a hard time piecing together memories.
And I get a very angry call from my other cousin who was a few years older asking me why the fuck I did that. And I apologized and was super fuckin confused. And at this point I’m wondering what the fuck is going on. I feel bad. But I’m also just wondering what the fuck are people mad at me for?
And my other cousin who is 40 and i was 34, realized I wasn’t being selfish. I was sincerely confused and this reaction was making me so concerned. And she tells me about this memory I was having. And it was way worse than I ever realized. And beyond just repressing memories, it was much more more insane.
To be completely honest. It probably should fuck with me. But it really doesn’t cause it doesn’t feel real.
When I was 8 my family flew cross the country and visited my dads two sisters and my cousins. We apparently stayed for 2 months. During this time, my alcoholic uncle began doing inappropriate things with me under the guise of “yeah I’ll look after him. Play video games or something”
But it turned out. He was drugging me and my 8 year old other cousin, and forcing us into sex acts with each other and forcing us to watch each other as he would rape us.
He had apparently been doing this with my cousin for over a year. And they thought she was developing a learning disability because she seemed to be getting slower and slower. And then we go out there. And this stuff starts happening, and he gave me my chocolaete milk with alcohol and barbiturates in it, (this was the early 90s) and I threw it up on accident without him knowing. So as he begins to force me into all this sexual shit, I’m almost fully coherent, and started to freak out. So he forced me to drink the milk, and I didn’t even really understand the concept of being drugged I think I thought it was medicine or something. And I passed out. And didn’t wake up. So he makes up some shit. And I get taken to the hospital and he musta realized that their gonna know something is up. And told my aunt he was literally going to buy cigarettes, and left the hospital. Attempted to burn down the little guest house shed behind their house where he would do all this shit. And took all the VIDEOS he made of this. But forgot to take one tape out of one of his cameras, and yeah.
So, I didn’t have any memory of these things that happened. But my cousin however did. And apparently spent her childhood in a hospital because it messed with her head so much and for obvious reasons. And this was southern Cali in the 90s so they tried weird alternative things like hypnosis and apparently helped her repress all these memories. And since I didn’t even know it happened at this point, I didn’t need therapy (or much ). And nobody ever saw my uncle again. Altho they think he may have stolen a boat and either killed himself or died in the ocean (cuse that same day a small boat was stolen that had motor issues, and people saw a man take out this boat towards the ocean and never come back)
So anyways. This story made me think of this cause it was so crazy to be told all these horrific details about my 8yr old summer and I felt horrible that I called my cousin, and dislodged all these memories of her father raping her.
No happy ending here. Nothing really to be learned or anything. Just a fucked up story.
Am I the only person that read this in full? 2 Months and no replies to this?? Damn, people are boring. This is simply movie plot worthy my dear commenter. To me this it is absolutely insane that any of the people I see out and about everyday could be living just as we all do, but with a horrible experience like this in their memory. I don't care who you are or what you blah blah blah Brett S, just for living through that and existing to comment that here, I'm wishing you the absolute best of luck in life. Kick ass dude.
Wow, I'm sorry this happened to you!
Some people are so fucked up they have to take it out on others, especially children who are vulnerable!!!
Wishing you the best❤
Omg that's awful. I guess he got what was coming to him and saved you guys the trauma of having to testify against him. I hope you and your cousin are doing better.
So, you gained like pieces of your memory of child abuse or sexual abuse, while you were in coma? I don't think anybody can process that experience. As a kid I had listened to this song in foreign language, probably when I was 4 or 5 and then never had a chance to listen to that particular song or any similar music ever until I was in college and spotify just played it in a random playlist. that reawakening of memory hit me so hard that even after years I still get goosebumps just thinking about that moment. I cannot compare my experience to yours just looking at magnitude of emotions attached and the way you regained your memory.
Demon
I'm always stunned by how old I am too.
😂🤣😂😂😂
Ya ....I hate it when I look in the mirror and see how old I am
Same. I think I’m 7 Years old but actually 12.
It figures somebody beat me to it lol.. I should probably delete my comment now!
Same here. I am stunned by how old you are......(just joking^^)
One of my favorite novels concerns the tangled life of a man with this condition, "Random Harvest." It was also made into a fine movie with the same title, starring Ronald Colman and Greer Garson. I strongly recommend reading the novel before seeing the film.
I recommend you read deez nuts before seeing the film.
How bout you leave deez nuts alone. Hey you know my boy Deez?
Read a book? Last book I read was this novel I wrote with a 200+ blank pages symbolically telling the reader it's never to late for a fresh start in life. This masterpiece future best seller is still waiting for a publisher! I highly recommend it.
Carol Burnett did a terrific spoof of this called "Rancid Harvest"
One of my favorite movies……Ronald Coleman and Greer Garson.
Not giving someone their geneological information should be treated like denying someone their health records
Sounds like loosing his identity was the best thing that ever happened to him
True
Ben was drunk af for twenty years
No. Not even close. He effectively was a walking corpse. Lowest possible potential obtainment.
Effectively erasing "who you are" is "killing who you were," it's both a metaphorical and literal death of oneself.
@@DJaquithFL from what I understood he lost his identity again after being beaten behind that dumpster, and before that he was traumatized by his abusive father
@@klittlet .. You're conflating time lines, the beating behind Burger King was many years later. Regardless, who you remember to be is who you are and to lose that is effectively a form of death.
Imagine who you are today to be completely lost. That identity and that person is effectively dead. Your mindless body isn't "you."
This is fascinating. Thanks for sharing his story and giving me an eye opening Thursday.
Man, your storytelling is legendary! A true pleasure every time besides the awesome educational material. Hat off sir!
- Being found passed out on the floor
- Surprised at how he looked in the mirror
- Impossible to trace
- Changed his identity a time or two and wandered off
I think he was actually the Doctor, freshly regenerated
Dr. Who?
Not knowing is bliss.
why do people do this ? they repeat song liricks and statements as if they are telling people something . are they really that stupid?
@@carlprince2866 What?
@@theoneatyourdoor87 *Doctor
So you're telling me I could wake up some day and forget who I am, everything I've done and everybody I know?
*Where do I sign?*
Mr Random
Lol.
Let me know if you Find where to sign up.
Well.. if you wanna vanish there are pretty good books out there
I think a lot of people are thinking the same thing!
Try LSD
mar vin shrooms are better
I'm glad that BK has been getting his life together, with a home and job. All he needed was a bit of help and care along the way. I know what it's like to have Amnesia, had it four times. The first time I was a young child and didn't know who anyone was, not even my Mama. Two of the other bouts were very terrible, many months of recovering. The fourth one I just remembered after more than thirty years later. I've had a NDE, been saved by an Angel (and it was witnessed) and had other health challenges too but none of it has kept me from doing what I can, such as: raised a child with next to no help (while recovering from two bouts of Amnesia), joining a non-credit program at a local university (one of my dreams since I was about four), having a few short stories and poems published (another dream since I was a young child), good paying part time jobs/contracts whenever I can and so much more. I have always had a passion for learning, which helped immensely-doing puzzles, reading, learning in any way I could whenever I could, which I still do. I owe the extent of my recovery, which I think is amazing, to my Heavenly Father's good grace.
"It's kinda cool, gives a nice little target in case you ever want to get shot in the chest" Joe, you're almost as good as Hank Green at this marketing thing...
But it gives the shooter a bias toward the center of the ballistic package. Geoff Who never thought of that before.
Bad merch for high school students.
Because Murcia!
I don't know why, the merch thing is still the one I'm least comfortable with.
Joe Scott, You’ll grow out of it.
@@joescott It's the complication and commitment thing, there is also success anxiety, "If nobody buys I'm out the investment and personally rejected." Geoff Who is not famous.
Memory can be bizarre. Well done! You do such interesting stories all the time! I'll say it again: Your channel is reason enough to have TH-cam.
Agreed
Very well done my friend! From stem to storm your style had me captivated. Keep up great work.
Man, it has got to be really scary to be him. If he's actually honest and doesn't know much about his last 21 years he would have no idea what he did to stay alive, what he could have done to other people, and what happened to him.
itsthosehour s right he could have had it all coming, May have not, he may have been a contract killer or perhaps a unlucky soul.
Most interesting video... this is why I love this channel and Joe. His curiosity is infectious.
It’s an honor to share a birthday with Einstein but an even greater honor to share a birthday with Joe Scott
What disturbed me most about this is that I remember a time when people with mental disorders had places to live. I’m sure many of those places were BAD places to live, but at least people had their basic needs met.
Consider this: what is the general feeling about the homeless? They are “a nuisance”. Is this progress for humanity? Classifying human beings as a nuisance? That would have been a classic dystopian horror scenario back in the fifties and sixties.
This guy should not have had to rely on random kindness just so he had food and shelter. NO ONE should.
When you live in the land of pirates, as in the US, nothing is free and everyone’s out theirs. You run into the occasional angel 😇 but unfortunately they don’t make the rules.
Watch the doc "suffer the little children"... those places are better off closed
@@dylan4652 Excellently described.
Most of those "group homes" that are run by volunteers and are paid by Disability checks, don't take people that have some semblance of intelligence. Mostly because he wouldn't fit in and he would get tired of the rules....also there's a lot of paperwork involved. My Nephew was in that situation. They'd rather he stay with friends. He's a lot better off.
Found this channel randomly and happy/thankful for this video in particular. I have a dissociative disorder myself, including the amnesia. Usually people have no idea about it so thanks for this educational video. Also I know I’m late to the vid, but if anyone wants to ask questions, I am okay with that. I want people to know more in case they see signs in a loved one. I mean, once this disorder caused me to run away into the woods at night with no light source or phone. I’m only lucky that I was diagnosed in my teens so I got a ton of therapy to prevent these incidents. I still struggle but rarely have episodes where I flee and/or don’t know who I am/where I am. If I do, usually I have notes around giving me help like I always have the date and year on a board on my wall. Sadly my condition is caused by a combination of genetic predisposition and early childhood repetitive trauma (including a head injury), so there’s no cure but there are great treatments and medications for some symptoms. As is, hope everyone now has a better understanding and can be kinder to those with memory issues in their lives like elderly family members.
Hi there, my partner earlier this year kept having memory loss and once we connected with others with DID, we realised what it was. I hope it's okay, but I'd love to ask questions! There's so much out there that isn't helpful because it's not information from people who have lived experience. Thank you for putting yourself out there and sharing your story!
I also deal with dissociation issues (a mixture of depersonalisation/derealisation, conversion disorder and a weird not-quite-singlet-not-quite-plural sense of identity. It’s messy, as many of these things are), and whilst I don’t get significant memory loss, it hasn’t stopped me from ending up in similar situations, running off and wandering the streets at night with no shoes, or having uncontrollable screaming and spasming episodes that people have mistaken for a full-on stroke in the past.
That’s the thing about these disorders that can be hard to grasp, because the idea of having a body or mind that isn’t fully yours or under your control can seem horrifying to the uninitiated. But for us, it’s just another mundane fact of life. Taking notes, warning your family of potential triggers and learning to take care of yourself becomes part of the routine, even if it can seem overwhelming when these symptoms start to show at first. I, for example, really like video games, because having my mind and bodyselves focus on the same task allows them to stay together and not drift apart :D
I can relate so much in so many ways... a number of years ago, for no apparent reason, I slipped into a 15 day amnesia. I've had many, many traumas and I deal with PTSD. I was already disabled but my thinking processes had always worked fine. I didn't know until I came out of it but I had had amnesia for 15 days. I still don't know why it happened but my older sister said I would call her at work, she would tell me to stay put so she could get me, but I would say I was ok and hang up. By day 15 she could see that I was calling from home so she told me to take some Nyquil and take a nap. When I woke up, I was me again. But I have no idea where I was, what I did nor who I talked to. I cried for two weeks thinking the sheriff would show up and tell me that I'd hit someone. I can't begin to fathom what this man has gone through but the sample I got showed me that it's a nightmare. I spent so much time in therapy asking 'why' until my counselor finally got it through to me that I might never know, but that I was safe again. I had two other short spells but I'm doing better now. I wish him well as he builds a new life.
Thanks for starting your story. Glad you’re doing better.
Very interesting, especially how the big mystery keeps changing.
Hey are you a patron on his patreon?
스테파니 Stephanie 조셉 Yes.
@@ThomasKelly. Thanks =)
These are the stories you do, that I just love. Thank you!
We who have 'normal' memories cannot know the anguish this dude feels.
Or maybe it is a good thing to not remember the trauma of his childhood and years spent drinking and dissolute. It's a fresh start, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.
The only thing that’s been going through my mind is when you mentioned that he spent months at a hospital and I can’t even imagine what the bill looked like ...
Or the fact that the food didn’t make you have a horrible fear of eating.
but with no SSN, there was no way to pin the bill on him!
Really love these Random Thursday videos. Always about fascinating subjects.
You know it's a good grilled cheese when it's the only thing a dude with amnesia can remember.
These sorts of thing weirdly scare me - this could happen to anyone and seems like the most absolute loss of self control one could imagine.
Would you care if it happened because of memory loss.
@@giovonnielewis4329 I don't care either way because it's not really a common enough thing or a thing with many concrete or direct causes outside of typical human experience that are hard to control.
"I share a birthday with Einstein..."
Weird flex, but ok.
lol
Hahaha thought the same thing
LMAO RIGHT?!? that smug, shit-eating grin he had after saying that was priceless 3:52
I gotta pee
Zombie Buddy In the US we put the month before the day 3/14 and because of this it is national pi day 3.14. At our schools kids bring in various kinds of pies and exchanges pieces of pie with each other. It is also my daughters birthday, and it was like the whole school celebrating her birthday with pies every year. 👍
Thank you Joe ... throughly enjoyed it, love this kind of stuff!
Large sections of my childhood are unrecallable. Or at least they were, until sustaining a severe emotional trauma a year ago. Now I can recall it all, and it's actually changed my personality as those memories have fallen into the timeline of memories I have within my ability to recall.
It's actually a bit remarkable that being someone with major depression and a dissociative disorder, I'm still here. I've attempted suicide twice, and both times, I was in a dissociative state. I didn't remember what happened afterward until years later. Thankfully both times someone came along to stop me before I managed to succeed. Now that I stopped blacking out while dissociating. It's getting easier and easier to manage. I've stopped doing things that lead to my own bodily harm, and that there is one hell of a step forward. No more broken knuckles.
All of the mystery about how he got lost and how he ended up there and with 2 decades un accounted for game me goosebumps
Hey Mikayla, where you from, Canada or USA?
Imagine the feeling she had when she saw that young man’s face on the page.. truly awe-inspiring.
Gives me goosebumps to think about
Jeez. What a heartbreaking story. I wish William all the best for the years he has left.
that guy traveled back in time, he's you, he's *clearly* an older version of you.
Hey I think so too😬
Please elaborate. 🙎♀️
Thanks for shedding light on this lost man and the entire subject of amnesia! So interesting, I was hooked!
Know the guy. He’s my brothers neighbor and good friend. Really nice guy. He doesn’t talk about his past.
Hugh Jones he actually remembers a lot of it now. It’s his struggles afterwards that he doesn’t talk about.
So was he MK Uktra or what?
@@niteflytes He's probably hiding something.
Decent fellow?
@@alvarorubenvera5915 I hope that's a joke
How heart-wrenchingly sad. What good is a life lived if you can’t remember it? No memory, no identity.
His story really highlights the inhumane way we treat our homeless population. Not everyone can keep paperwork like birth certs and ss cards, few people can afford to pay for a photo ID - and they do cost money. So do all replacement documents. And you need one to get the other to get the other and so on. Even if he knew his ss# because trivia memory isn't stored as episodic memory, he would have had to prove it was his with questions he couldn't hope to answer. There is no leeway for our homeless and those who need help the most cannot access it.
the dude in the thumbnail looked like he’d seen some serious shit.
Odd....on many levels. Fascinating video topic! Thanks Joe. 👍
Aside from how deranged it is to require IDs for a homeless shelter, you're telling me that in all these years of professionals and law enforcement involved in his case, no one could get him a new ID?!
In the US, your DL or state ID (you can hold either one, in some states both) is assigned based on your social security number. Without an SSN the government literally doesn't see you as a person. (It can also be said that this prevents criminals from changing their identities, but in cases like this it really blows)
Ive also lost a lot of ability to remember, i guess i just want to forget all the trauma I faced from abuse of drugs, but its okay now as im sober
I'm sorry to hear about your loss of being able to remember. Congrats on getting sober 😊
Congrats on ur continued sobriety dude. Got 22 months myself. Its a tough fight that u can't understand if u haven't been through it. Stay strong.
FINALLY! A mystery solved. I like the videos that are solved a lot more than the ones that are unsolved mysteries
i had my wallet stolen once and lost birth certificate, i dont have family or long term aquaintences so they put me through a process where they try to get "a credible member of the community" like a priest, a doctor, a mayor anything to vouch for who you are, the process took about 4 months and came really close to not working, which was terrifying because they said otherwise i would basically just not exist, forever.
Never clicked on a notification so fast lol. Love the videos!
That social security number thing is ridiculous. I mean in terms of rules it makes sense, but there needs to be a procedure for exceptions - imagine a kid being the sole survivor of a house burning down or a train crash. Where would you find the social security number?
But wow, I'm so happy for Benjaman and the filmmaker for finding each other and apparently turning this into quite a piece of art. :)
I subbed when you gave credit where credit was due. The internet needs more people like you...and the story was great
I occasionally have a feeling like this, when i wake up for a moment i'm like 'whoa, what happened, who am i, what the.... and reality wiggles back into position somehow....
Dr. Weird
that sounds like depersonalisation it's not to uncommon, but if, and it can, last for hours it's a real bitch. I had an attack like that about six months ago on a sunday it was really unsettling and up setting
@@rainblaze. I didn't get my doctorate in 'Weird' overnight, my esteemed colleague :)
I have this too. Like 5-10 seconds of internal peace, then all my responsibilities kick in and I'm like ughh I want to keep sleeping pleaaaaaase
Hope you're not prescribed benzodiazepines (xanax/klonopin etc)
Gentlemen, behold!! Reality, it wiggles!!
I wanna dedicate my life to finding and solving more stories like this 🤣
The photo you have on there of the two soldiers, one holding the other starting at 12 minutes and 19 seconds....... is actually my grandfather. His name was Paul Robert Williams the second. He is the man that is holding the other man in his arms. It was his friend, and he was holding him as he passed. My husband and I seen that and was completely floored! My kids were actually so excited. I see this photo all the time and very few people know of its story.
I had no idea Benjaman Kyle's identity had been discovered. How did I miss that news!!
Prank Girl who was he
@@josuebalderas267
Watch this video you're commenting on. It tells you everything and is VERY interesting. You'll like it.
I saw him on dr phil
i didn't know about him until today o__o
Same here, I've heard his story before but never knew that he had actually managed to find out who he was.
This could be a plausible explanation to some of the missing 411 cases.
AJ just thinking that. But imagine how many of them could be just walking past us today without us every knowing.
I think it's less likely the more recent the case. Everything is so data mined these days.
I like this as a plausible explanation to the missing 411 cases - cause the alternatives are way too freaky!
Nah aliens ate them
Excellent 👍
People with memory problems often become hoarders because they think that by throwing something away (even a piece of objective garbage) they will lose the memory associated with it.
I heard about BK ages ago, it is good to get the update on who he really is..
I have major issues with memory, the neurologist has no idea why, it’s been a lifelong problem.. I can completely sympathize with BK behaving ‘ambivalent’ about finding out more.. I’m sure his subconscious emotions would retain the discomfort of the family associations even if his memory wouldn’t remember WHY, that alone would make discovery less appealing.
When you don’t remember years of your life, you don’t “miss it” and you tend to live more in the present moment..
When I take time to reflect or someone asks about a specific memory I sometimes feel sad that I’ve lost the memories.
it’s an interesting situation truly.. because you just can’t miss what you don’t remember.. so it doesn’t bother you.. it’s just how things are..
Thanks for the in-depth info on this story, very interesting!! :)
I've long ago stopped looking at myself in the mirror since I don't recognize myself anymore. The lines on my face are testement to the years that have flipped by so fast I cant remember, but who can!? When I think of all the people I've known I quickly realize that I've forgotten more names than I remember. This is all in my head and noone will remember anything when I'm dead
that was kinda heart breaking, like loosing half your life. i hope things got better for him.
waking up with no memories is something that happened to me a few times but they come back after 20-30 seconds..
Damn forget sleep paralysis monster that’s the real horror
This was an amazing story, and how Benjaman's identity was discovered was so interesting. Loved it!
Would be interesting to know if they tried a regression style hypnosis with this guy. They just might unlock the mystery finally. I guess stranger things have happened to people. At least now he is where he came from and can find some peace possibly.
Regression hypnosis is generally frowned upon because it too often produces false memories.
Cool story joe. Love these random subjects.
He kind of looks like he could be your relative
I thought it was Joe from the future!
@@lordnagatron Joe a few years from now discovers the secrets of time travel. He attempts to travel back in time to appear in one of his own skits but overshoots the jump.
This somehow makes him lose his memory but he lives his new life just fine. One day, he finds himself confronting a gang behind a Burger King...
@@ZanzatheDivine DUDE! that is exactly what I was thinking, is Joe lost deep inside the mandela butterfly dimensional shift time displacement effect??
Thank you! I wondered why more people hadn't picked up on that. When I saw the thumbnail (before seeing the video name), I thought it was a video on ageing with a crazy well-done mock up of Future!Joe.
I came here just to find this comment. 00:40... I'm mean, it's uncanny...
I LOVE LOVE LOVE SHOWS/DOCUMENTARIES LIKE THESE! GOOD JOB GUYS! MORE POWER TO THE CHANNEL!
"Other than the rash, and cataracts that had left him nearly blind, Burger King Doe showed no sign of physical injury" -- Dont think he was beaten up
No sign of LONG TERM physical injury is pretty clearly what was implied.
Yeah man pay attention.
I think he said exactly what he meant. He didn’t imply long term.
:59 , 14:09 - Implies the man was beaten up. In the article, no mention of him beaten up other than the doubt his caretaker had.
Still many questions not mentioned in the end of the video - did the family reconnect? How did Benjaman react to the finding?
Fascinating. I hope hes having happier times these days, hes had a tough life.
This is how I star my Thursdays, with a big bowl of Joe Scott Random Thursday’s
I love this video. Great job. Thank you so much.
I'm not saying aliens, but ALIENS!! 👽
@MorbidManMusic you seemed to have missed the joke.
Totally Aliens.
@MorbidManMusic I'm certain you have no sense of humor.
Hahahah definitely!
Was my first thought also. Haha
The fake that childhood memories were the only things that remained is so interesting. There so much I can't even remember about the last few years but there's so very very strong and specific random childhood memories I have. Alot of ppl think those memories must be the hardest encoded in your brain if they have survived all the growing and changing your brain goes thru, so that makes sense why those were the ones he remembers