I am not sure if that is a good guide for someone visiting Germany the first time. I watched the first rules and was like "yeah, that's not how it is in Germany". 1. Everything is possible here starting from waiting to be seated (mostly in more fancy places), picking your seat directly or waiting and ask which spots are free to choose from. 2. Yes, it would be definitely more polite to take a hat off (and for me wearing a real hat like in the picture would be weird at a restaurant), but wearing caps would be totally normal (unless you are at a fancy place) 3. Hanging the coat is again more a thing in fancy restaurants. In other places it would be totally normal to put it on the back of your chair. I have also never been to a restaurant where sharing a table with strangers would be a thing. This might be something related to beer gardens or maybe at a bar. 4. Choosing as soon as possible might be correct. But typically the waiter would come by whenever he is free to ask whether you know what to order or you need some more time. They wouldn't make you to decide in a hurry. Especially in upper class restaurants this would never happen. 5. I'd say in Germany nobody is on the "King side". The difference to the US is that customers don't treat the personnel the way you described, but as they still try to get tipped they also wouldn't treat you as bad as it felt from her description. However, there are places where this happens (e.g. the Köbes at the breweries in Cologne). But that's not the "normal" thing to happen. 6. The order she describes is really weird to me. In fancy restaurants it might happen that the waiter asks the ladies first, but typically they will just start at one end of the table and go through everybodies orders. 7. Tap water, yes, here she is 100% correct and also the eye contact during toasting is real. There is another rule she didn't mention: Most of the time you are toasting pairwise and you are not allowed to cross the arms of another pair toasting. Ice in softdrings, I never noticed that. Most of the time I prefer the drinks without ice as they are cold enough from the beginning. Otherwise the melting ice would delute the drinks. 8. Napkin on the labs is also more a thing in more fancy places. 9. Here you are completely right. You would wait for everyones food to arrive, but since this would mean that some food would be cold until everything is there, it is most common that the onse who are still waiting would offer that it is okay to start already. 10. Elbows off the table is correct, but also not everybody is following this rule especially in "normal" restaurants. 11. For the fork and the knife, I guess she wanted to say that you don't switch between using the knife and not using the knife. But if you have some food that doesn't need a knife at all, you also wouldn't keep it in your hand. 12. The placement of the cutlery is to signal the waiter that you are finished with eating and not just taking a small break. So it is important to have this exact angle. 13. Taking the leftovers with you is ok (maybe not in the most fancy places), but the name "doggy bag" wouldn't be used in German. We would say "können sie mir das bitte einpacken?" which literally means "could you please pack this for me?" 14. Yes, you need to ask for the bill. In the US it felt like they wanted to empty the table as soon as possible to make room for new guests, while in Germany you would even stay for a while once you are finished. So you need to clarify whenever you are ready to go. 15. A tip of 15%-20% would be normal in Germany, but still there would be a similar range as in the US for extraordinary good or bad service. But keep in mind, that you pay the bill directly to the waiter (and not leave the money on the table as in some other countries). So you need to tell them how much change you are expecting from them. If you don't want any money back you'd say "Stimmt so" which means "It's fine, keep the change". Maybe what she described is typical for her region, but those were definitely not general rules in Germany.
Idk keeping your cap on is still very impolite unless you count fast food restaurants as restaurants ig. Also I always use my napkin, what's the point of even having it if I keep it on my table? Even paper napkins have saved my pants from grease often enough for me to do it again. I also always feel weird about % tips, it really depends on how much you pay in the first place imo, neither in very cheap nor very expensive restaurants would I tip 15%
No, 15-20% tip is not normal in Germany. 10% is more common, as is just "rounding up". 15-20% was a little bit more normal in recent years when such places were struggling, but as that's over (even though the reason isn't over, the behavior is, for the most part), I wouldn't do so anymore.
Thanks, I was shaking my head a lot, while watching this. Lol. It’s so different depending where you are. And tables being close to each other, doesn’t make us socialize more 😅🌻
@@silkwesir1444 so, if you've had a 145 euro meal you would give them 160 euros? I'm kind of sure most people would just give 150 or 145 and only a very small minority would go beyond no? In my opinion the tipping is really more to avoid the hassle of bringing change for the waiter or the hassle of carrying change then any real tipping culture.
As someone who worked in a traditional palatine restaurant I have to say that many older people feel ripped off when give them ice in their Cola or something, because it's very important that the glass is filled up to the "eich", a line denoting the volume of your drink, with liquid
I think one big difference that explains a lot of those etiquette rules: We don’t consider fast food chains like McDonalds as restaurants, so when we talk about restaurants it’s already a bit nicer than that. And for me it really depends on how nice the restaurant is, whether I follow all the rules 😅
That's what I mentioned in my comment. Most American restaurants are Food chains or companies. They try to serve as many people as possible. Cracker Barrel is the first example that comes to my mind. It wants to give you the feel of a restaurant but I realized living in the US that most of my friends and family there didn't knew what a European restaurant is like. It's run by a single person or a family business.
Yeah, I was also thinking about that. Where did he find the restaurant with dirty napkins full of mashed potatoes on the table? I divide them into the three types: fast food, cafeteria, restaurant
I'm from Germany, and I don't know wich Restaurants this lady went to for dinner, but what she says is not typical for a standard restaurant in Germany.
A lot of these rules are very formal and used either in higher tier restaurants or during events. I'd definitely wait to be seated in most establishments. A lot of places do provide you with ice in your drinks and from my experience restaurant portions in Germany are still smaller than they are in the US (at least on average). In your average restaurant nobody is gonna care about how you angle your your cutlery/fold your napkin etc, just make sure to not spill food/drinks and you're good.
well in bavaria restaurant portions are giant XD my sister and mom are never able to finish their normal dish and a average man will be very pleased with the portions.
@@gecgoodpasi1654 I usually don't finish my portions either. But just from talking to my US friends, the portions do seem smaller. It's still a lot though. Thanks for the feedback. Stay safe.
It's a very weird mix of stuff that fits the local pub (die Eckkneipe) and stuff that you would expect from a very high end restaurant. Like talking about the order in which to order is extremely high end and I've been to Michelin star restaurants that haven't taken it that serious and on the other hand talking about big portions which does not fit fancy restaurants.
I have never wasted a single thought about "ordering order". 😉 I think this one is wayyy over the top these days. Usually the waiter will just look at someone (preferably the person sitting closest to where he/she is standing) and this person will start ordering. 😉
about being seated: when you enter a restaurant and there isn't a staff member immediately asking you where you want to sit (or how many seats your group needs), i'd always choose a table myself. so, usually you don't have to worry about how to behave, because either they'll tell you or you're free to do what you want to do. reserved tables usually have a sign on them (either "reserviert" or "Stammtisch"), so you know which ones to avoid when seating yourself. regarding coats: yes, when you have a long coat or a winter jacket, then hanging it on a rack is usually the better solution, so noone steps on it. but if you're wearing a thinner jacket, it's completely fine to keep it at your table/over your chair as long as you're not in a super fancy restaurant. if they like it or not shouldn't really be your concern. who is king? the customer is! *but* that does *not* mean, the staff will always interrupt you during the meal to ask you, if you want something. a 'good servant' doesn't speak unless spoken to - after you got your meal that is. so, if you want something, you as 'the king' give them a sign and they'll come over. even if you work for tips, annoying 'the king' is never a good idea, because he might be displeased with your intrusive behavior. talking too much as a waiter might be the reason to *not* get tipped. and as 'the king' i don't want to know the names of 'the servants' - that's too much unnecessary information. about the order of ordering: usually the waiter will ask the oldest lady first anyways, so that's usually nothing you really have to worry about. it's the staff's job to keep the polite order of ordering. napkins: you usually don't do that, if your not a toddler or a really old person being unable to not spill anything - unless you're at a very fancy restaurant. cutlery: putting your cutlery in an upside-down V-shape onto the plate means, you're not done yet but are just pausing (or want more food in a private setting). putting it parallel to each other onto the plate means you're done - at least with the current course. the hygiene part is not so much to not get germs on your cutlery, but to not make the tablecloth dirty. doggy bags aren't very common in most places. and i would absolutely disagree with her statement, it's more polite to take it home with you than leaving it on the table. unless it's a restaurant with unusal big portions, you should just order as much as you want to eat - not more. then there is just no need for any doggy bags. tipping: i always find it weird to tip a certain _percent_ of the bill. why? putting a plate with cheap food in front of me is just as much work as putting a plate with expensive food in front of me for the waiter. i tip the _service_ - not the _food_ itself (the price of the food is already included in the bill). if anything a waiter in a cheap restaurant is more desperate for tips, than a waiter in a fancy restaurant. so, i will always base the amount i'm tipping on how pleased i'm with the service - meaning the less they annoy me, the more they get.
To our fellow American friend: The knife isn't used for cutting only but it is used for moving and portionizing the food on your fork before you move the fork to your mouth.
Thats really a cultural difference. I was out with american working buddys and noticed thats they pre cut everything and then just used the fork. Like you do for a kid..cut the steak in bite sized pieces first and then just use the fork to nibble away..while others cut&bite and as you said, use the knife to move stuff on the fork. Both untensils in hand all the time, while they used one after the other. Must not be everyone, but from 10 people, 8 did it that way at least.
I've always followed the same rules in the UK and abroad. The napkin is to stop food falling in your lap and ruining your nice clothes. Europeans hold their knife and fork in different hands from the US. With multiple courses, you start with the cutlery on the outside and work your way in with each course. (the wait staff usually take away cutlery for courses you haven't ordered.) The knife and fork thing when you've finished eating just makes sense. It lets the wait staff know they can clear your plate away and you're ready for the next course (If one was ordered.) It all manners and communication without having to talk or having people interrupting your nice meal.
Parents teach you the Dining Etiquette to make sure you do not embaress yourself when your boss, or anyone you want to impress, asks you out to eat in a job interview or something. It just shows you are "from a good house".
I guess that's what it feels like if you're just have to learn it, but there is more to it. if you behave in a good way it's also a way to be sure not to offend somebody else with the way you're eating, as you won't like it for yourself if someone's behaves like a pig next to you while eating. it's not to impress anyone, it's about being respectfull to others. and that for me seems pretty usefull in life in general.
@@dvont1383 but we are filthy animals xD 99% of people dont use "proper" etiquette in private or casual settings which kinda means thats our(as a species) default
Hey, I really known an HR who would only go for lunch for a job interview. He said those positions the person is interviewed have all the same qualifications (wich universities they went, former jobs). And this is already checked by his department and assistant. So the only thing he wants to know is what kind of person this is. Thats why it’s really essential to know how to behave in public.
@@gecgoodpasi1654 very true, but a little etiquette can't be too bad and brings a lot of pleasant benefits with it You should at least know how to do it and respectfully follow those rules if people are uncomfortable with the way you eat near them Edit: or of course if the setting calls for it. Edit 2 lol: I just mean etiquette that actually serves a purpose, I wouldn't force kids or teenagers to learn where to place the little fork and where to place the big fork
Many rules depend on who you're with. If I'm out with friends I don't care about the napkin or if my hands are on the table. At business dinners it is expected to follow more of the "fine dining" etiquette. However, the cutlery placement isn't only polite but actually quite helpful because it signals when you're done with your meal. If you cross your cutlery on your plate most servers wouldn't take it away because it signals that you're not done eating yet :)
Don't worry too much about it. Most of her tipps sound like they are from an etiquette handbook. In Germany the household name for these rules was "Knigge". But they only applied for fancy restaurants anyway.
Well in my bubble it's quite necessary to behave well anytime.. I don't mind ppl holding there hands under the table but at least close your mouth, even in private
Not at all! You don't behave for the restaurant. You behave according to the impression you want somebody else to have from you. Therefor: yes, the lady in the video has learned german etiquette as a foreigner, didn't grow up with it. It is indeed much more complicated and sophisticated.
Additionally she is mixing tipps for restaurant with tipps for other establishments. I am 37 years old and lived my whole life in Germany. Never have I ever been seated at a stranger's table in the restaurant.
The parallel cutlery thing is a signal that you're done and don't want more. On the other hand if you lay them crossed or wedged or similar you signal you are still hungry
About the napkins: when it is a cloth napkin, you usually place it onto your lap. If it is a paper napkin, you keep it next to your plate. Some of her rules would only apply to fancier restaurants (those have cloth napkins). The knife is not only for cutting, but also for scooping food onto the fork. And you would use the knife and cut pieces of meat etc. while you go about your meal. You would not first cut everything. And as others have already said, you place the cutlery parallel to indicate to the waiter that you are finished with your meal (regardless if the plate is empty or not), so they know they can take it away. Usually the waiter only comes and takes everything away, after everyone at the table has placed their cutlery parallel. We have a similiar rule about the menus. You look at the menus and after you have chosen, you close the menu and place it down in front of you, so the waiter knows that you are ready to order. Waiters don't come to your table often, but the good ones are very observant and will recognize those signs.
and to add to that: If you have good manners, you do not use your fork to "spear" the food. Instead you would scoop the food onto the fork using your knife as @Jonaelize already explained. That's why you "can't" eat properly without a knife in your hand.
I’ve never been to a restaurant that will sit you with another party at one table and usually I don’t use the coat rack if the place isn’t super fancy but idk about that one
so from the way she was talking and all the things she was addressing is something you will mainly find in high-class to luxury-class restaurants with the occasional "local" rule (eg. regulars table); in regards to cutlery the basic to remember is only put them close together without crossing them to signal your finished, or have them crossed if there was something wrong with the food or the composition of taste is just awfully off a sort of non verbal show of hey this might need rethinking by the chefs; the ice in drinks is really not an issue because stuff like coke is kept ultra low for a to be served drink, as well it is really not often you will have one drink long enough for it to change to room temperature
Hi Ryan, I enjoyed your video and try to give you some explanations/perspective for the german behavior. Number 1: It's rather a waiter is welcoming you at the door and leads you to available tables you can choose from. And of course if the waiter is busy you wait a moment so he/she can greet you at the door, instead of running into the restaurant and sitting yourself. But it has more to do with being welcomed into the restaurant than with where to sit. Number 3: Most restaurants have hangers for your coats, but also a sign making you responsible for taking care that your coat doesn't get stolen. Therefor most Germans do't use them and keep their coats at their seats, if they aren't sitting in front of the hangers. Number 6: I never heard of this, this would be just to complicated and pure chaos for who gets what. Normally in big groups the waiter starts on one side of the table and goes around in order (as we german love order😉) Number 7: For the ice, as their is no free refiling in Germany, many Germans feel Ice in your drink is a scam and watering down what you are drinking. But the drinks are cooled and stay cool long enough to enjoy them til the end Number 12: if you aren't finished with your dish (e.g going to to toilet) you cross your cutlery on the plate so the waiter won't clean the table. If you are finished you put it parallel. The angel doesn't matter.
There is just so much variety when it comes to restaurants that most rules should have an asterisk saying it depends. For example, if you are in a group of only three or four, the rule that the waiter starts asking the oldest person first applies somewhat.
@@BlueFlash215 And yet i never see anyone using the hangers. I mean rationally how many coats get really stolen? But the sign alone is a reminder of the possibility and no one likes the hassle. I think the german saying " Vorsicht ist besser als Nachsicht" - "better safe than sorry" is rather fitting.
The angle (I admit: it looked strange 🤣🤣🤣) does matter. It is called "20 nach 4", which means 20 minutes past 4 pm. It indicates you have finished esting.
@@adamryan977 It depends, in the countryside, you are more likely to trust people and use the hangers. In city centres, you’d trust them less. I personally use them a lot.
These rules are common all over Europe, and they are not confusing, since we grow up with it. By the way, Ryan, the knife is not only for cutting, for instance, a fish knife (yes, it exists) has no sharp edges. A knife helps part all other types of food, like potatoes and, most important, it is a tool that supports your fork hand. With other words, a knife is used to shove your food (rice, for instance) onto your fork. We eat always with fork and knife, even at home, unless it is chicken drum sticks (depends on the type of meal and the setting), chicken wings, barbecue, hamburger (fast food!), or pizza. The knife and fork, placed parallel to each other on your plate, in 4 o'clock position, is a clear indication for the waiter that you finished this plate and that he can take your plate away. When you get a three-course meal, it refers only to the main dishes and not "entree" or dessert. Usually, you'll get a main dish with meat, another one with fish, and another one might be game or lobster, for instance.
Just to add another (less strict) POV. Summary would be that she mentions a lot of theoretically correct and polite things that *really really depend on the environment*, who you are dining with and in what kind of restaurant (fancy vs grounded) and it probably ranges from just like you described about the US to a bit more strict 1. Seating: She prefers to "wait to be seated" but if you choose anyways then make sure to not sit on a Stammtisch or a reservated table. So basically just wait to be seated to avoid that. 2. Hat: Taking off the hat is a bit oldschool yet polite and pretty much depends on where you go. 3. Rack: There is a coat rack but it is not a problem at all to have the jacket on the chair. There is a difference between fancy expensive restaurants, basic restaurants, old style and modern etc. 4. - 5. Who is King: The king thing is BS. Depending on the place again the service might be less "fake friendly" but in other places super friendly 6. Who orders first: Ladies first is a gentleman thing to do, just it. Not a rule. If its busy the waiter just will go person by person 7. Cheers: Eye contact is 100% true :D. I've never seen a problem with that ice thing. My grandparents had a guesthouse in a remote village and decades ago they had an ice machine already. 34 years in Germany, never seen. 8. Napkin is not an issue anywhere. I agree with you. Maybe in her friends circle thats how that works but usually nobody cares unless you are as you said "dining with the queen" 9. Waiting for everyones food to arrive: Accurate. It is with common sense though 10. Ellbows and Hands: Accurate WHILE eating. 11. Cuttlery: You eat with whatever you need, Pizza you can eat by hand as well, Burger ofc. Asian Food maybe even with sticks. You are not holding a knife eating a salad 12. Cuttlery position: Accurate. It tells the waiter that you most likely are done eating. Angle doesn't matter, just keep em together. Seperate means you might want to continue. I've worked as a waiter before and it does indeed help to when to approach a customer and ask "Can I remove your plate"
I think I almost always use my knife when eating a salad (as well as most other dishes). Not to cut the salad (that is only necessary if the salad leaves are too large) but simply to push things together and prevent the food from sliding while pushing the fork into it or with many other foods like, eg, rice or peas, to push the food onto the fork.
In many restaurants you're also automatically seated if you walk into this hallway up to the desk where waiters will be waiting for you. Similar to how we can see people get seated in American restaurants (in movies or videos) with this desk right after the door). The napkin thing I know from my grandma, so maybe it's a very outdated/regional thing
About 5. There are some restaurants where it applies that the waiters are a little (some might say: quite) rough. The restaurant of the "Früh" brewery in Cologne is such an example. But usually the guests know about it in advance. And those who don't know and complain make a fool themselves and get laughed about by the other guests.
the angle thing is for the waiter, we are drilled to use specific handmotions to pick up your plates so if you dont use the 4:20 you kick us out of the rythm =)
She mostly talked about fancy restaurants. When you go into a restaurant - when there is no one standing near the door it means that you can choose your table. Just look around an a waiter will see you, make a short greeting (e.g. "Hello"/"Good evening"). The waiter will react to it which tells you if you can choose your table. Perhaps the waiter ask how many people you are and will than show you an option. Sit down. Shortly after the waiter will bring you the card and ask you if you allready know what you want to order for the first drink. Normally you haven't seen into the card. So ask for the drinks you like. Ordering starts with one person and then it will go clockwise or against the clock for the next person to order. When all ordered he will leave to prepare the drinks. The waiter will come with the drinks and ask if you have allready choosen the food. If you haven't choosen the waiter will leave. You can show that you are ready to order - close the card and lay it down at the table. The same in ordering for the food. Normally the food is served nearly the same time. If you are a bigger group the waiter will bring the first plates and will go to catch the other ones. You wait until everybody at your table has his food and start to eat together. After few minutes (depends on how much a waiter has to do) he will come and ask if everything is ok. If the waiter makes a good job he will see if your glas is getting empty and he will come to ask you if you want to order something to drink. If not, just look around and try to get eye contact. Then simply raise your hand or empty glass towards the waiter as if to toast. You can put a napkin on your lap, but you don't have to. The cutlery can also be used to communicate how the food tasted (but not every waiter/guest understands the cutlery language).
A lot of what she said is half true: I never put the napkin on my knees, but fold it up on the table (probably under the plate). I usually hang my jacket on the chair, because most restaurants have a sign at the hangers saying that you are responsible for your stuff not getting stolen.
@@kristinuebele4649 It is very rare (in my experience) to have someone seated at the end of a table. Usually there are tables for six stacked and therefore no problem for the waiters.
So the cutlery stuff is really accurate, since I was little I learned to angle my cutlery and will even do it when visiting family or when I’m at home, it’s just second nature. It also helps the waiters know when you’re done and that they can take away your plate. The napkin rule however… yeah we never do that, even in a fancy restaurant.
The parallel cutlery simply means "I'm done" and signals that your plate can be taken away. Otherwise you are saying that you only take a break from eating. This can also apply at home. So some people might think you want more to eat, if it isn't in parallel .
What she describes are what is considered good dining manners. I think you can see how well someone was raised by how they handle themselves when dining outside (even in a standard restaurant). My mother made sure that all of her children knew their table manners and she never had to worry about our behaviour because we learned it at a young age. You could place me at a fancy gala dinner and i´d had no trouble to execute polished dining manners. I´m very thankful for this, because i´ll never have to worry about embarrassing myself or others in this kind of situation and i´ll definitely pass this on to my own children. Greetings from Germany :)
Here some thoughts as a German: The fist couple rules are very outdated😅 nobody under 60 would follow most of them😅 at least in northern Germany. But you do have to keep eye contact while clinching your glasses otherwise you will get 7 years of bad sex. Most Germans just don’t like ice cold drinks so we don’t care if there is no ice. Yes put the napkins in your lap so you don’t spill stuff on your clothes, but usually only at fancy places😅 Yeah you usually start eating once your food arrives it would get cold otherwise And for the elbows that’s more of a being formal because it is considered rude to do that. For the cutlery once you are done eating you signal that to the waiter by positioning it at 4:20 on a clock. So that’s why the angle is important. 10% tip is a loose guideline not a requirement Hope that helps😊 love from Schleswig-Holstein😊
Well I guess even though some people might see it as outdated I don't like when people don't put off their hat or cap when eating or being indoors but well I do agree with most of the rest and yeah love back to Schleswig-Holstein☺☺
Well if it's a better restaurant, you should take your hat/cap off. Of course that doesn't count for Dönerbuden, McDonalds, ordering something to eat in a bar, etc.
If you enter a building you take your hut of. You shouldn't use it to hide your messed up hair. And if you're in a restaurant they shouldn't mess up the order, so everyone can starts at the same time
One thing that caught me off guard when I moved here is that, in many restaurants, dogs are allowed. 99% of the time, you don’t even know they are there until the people get up to leave.🐶
The only time I have seen a problem with a dog in a restaurant was when the dog just wouldn't behave (barking, walking around, jumping). But even then, the people were asked to rather sit outside on a table further away from others so to not disturb other guests. Never seen anybody being denied service because of their dog lol
you dont even know theyre there *unless you are allergic* which is why I really don't like seeing dogs inside anywhere, it ruins the possibilities for a lot of people
in smaller local restaurants in small towns it is totally common to ask if you can join a table if no other table is open. I think in the city or in ritzy places you would not do that and wait for the waiter to seat you. Stammtisch is always off limits for self seating. in fancy restaurants you would not have a "table for the regulars". But they may have a "reserviert" sign. So even if you seat yourself you should not get in trouble. Oh, and, yes, i usually chat with the unknown people i am seated with, just to make sure it is not awkward.
I think it would be awesome if you made a livestream where you react to german stuff, so we could explain certain things to you or you could like have idk some german channel that looks at this stuff with you and is able to explain questions you have to youu, just a thought
You don't have to wait until seated (only in very fancy restaurants). You can see which tables are reserved by little cards on it with the text "Reserviert" or "Stammtisch".
@GeorgDuma Totally anachronistic. Equality also means overcoming these senseless (sometimes offensive) polite phrases of Biedermeyer. I like to help a woman when I can do something better or she asks me, not because she was born feminine. Ultimately, however, nowadays only sporadically desired by the female sex.
The one rule I had never heard of before (I grew up in Bavaria): - Order in which to order: Oldest lady to youngest man. Everything else: The more formal the restaurant is (if it has linen cloth table cloths and linen cloth napkins it is usually a very nice restaurant - and the prices are also an indicator) the more rules I follow 😅 The "elbows off the table and eat with both your knive and your fork" rule I follow in any restaurant though, because my mother taught it to me so strictly 😅🙈
"ladies first" and so the order in which to order is of course from the oldest lady to the youngest man and of course you can do it differently if you have agreed it beforehand ... a gentleman always lets the ladies at the table order first, the ladies are of course served first and they start eating first when everyone has their dishes ... that's how I learned it from my parents and especially from my father and so far in my life all the ladies appreciated that very much, it has to do with politeness, good manners and respect ... and yes, I can also observe that all this is unfortunately getting lost more and more and the women seem to accept it because they do experience it less and less, and yes, maybe they don’t value it themselves anymore, for whatever reason ... but what can you expect when even in a restaurant the smartphones are always ready to hand on the table instead of leaving them switched off in the pocket as only one aspect of many others ... you're already sitting at the table with your family, friends or a loved one, so who do you want to communicate with on your smartphone then?
About the order in which is ordered. It always has to do with the setting and the hierarchies in the group. When you have decided to go somewhere together it is more polite to order ladies first and by age. In not formal settings you often start with the oldest women and then order in turn as you are seated, for it is easier for the waiter to follow and get whether someone has still not ordered. In cases where one person has decided on the restaurant and no-one else has ever been there the "host" of the group mostly closes the order or begins when people are too intimidated by maybe pronounciating the dishes names wrong. But we do not really think about it that much. It all depends on your upbringing to subconsciously follow these supple rules and instinctively know what to follow as a group. I actually had to think really hard to find examples and differences because we do not realy think about it much, we just act like that when you had a "good old German" upbringing with the "knigge" (an actual book about manners that most do not even own anymore but know the most important parts of and teach their kids (like that you do not cut a potato with a knife but part it with your fork...)).
Yeah this was strange for me too. Usually you order one by one around the table. Either starting at the end, or with the person who invited everyone (you don't want to order something significantly more expensive than them).
Regarding tipping: tipping isn't necessary but you should do it if you liked the service. Common amounts are either rounding up to the next sum divisible by five (33€->35€) or 10%.
you use the knife also to push food onto your fork- that helps a lot especially when eating slippery food like salats 😅 and the last rule of the paralell cutlery is there to nonverbally signal the waiting staff that you are done eating (which is especially helpful when you dont eat your whole portion but are done anyway. placing your cutlery this way will let the waiters know that you won’t continue to eat n they can clear you dish)
Yes, table etiquette is being teach by the parents and also starts in Kindergarten. Thats why most of the Kindergarten have a breakfast together once a week. It’s so funny hearing you almost collaps by this rules 😅. But it’s really good and essential to know them. At first, you know how to move, behave in all kind of situations and it also boost your confidence. By the way, our napkins here, even the paper ones are thick and large so that you can easily put it on (the right side) your lap. And even me, when I leave the table, I put my napkin on the side of my plate. I’d never put it on my seat, where everyone already sat there! And when you leave your meal, but you still want to continue eating, you put your cutlery left (fork) and right on your plate, it’s a signe for the waiter, I’m not done yet. When you finished your meal (even though there is still food on the plate) thats where you put your cutlery on the right side, on your plate, in a parallel position. By the way, my parents teached me, if you didn’t like the food, you put the cutlery (also parallel) to the left side. And yes we have coat racks (every restaurant has it, even the smallest pizzeria has one) and it’s a polite way to tell the other costumers, no, I’m not disturbing you with my coat. But it’s nice that your eager to learn things (even the strange ones) about Germany!🎉
9:47 in Germany soda is served fresh out of a bottle so they just put the bottle in the fridge and give it to you it’s not like a soda machine we’re you can take as much as you want also the bottles are left on the table like in a bar or almost every restaurant thinks you are a bad guy
I'm impressed. Angela quit her office job to make videos. She also found an aristocrat who is over 90 and from southern Germany to teach her restaurant etiquette. I'm from North Germany and have never heard or seen the word "Stammtisch" in a restaurant. Only in bars.
@@MrBirmchen not in the south, and definitely not in the country side. Stammtisch is absolutely a thing there. you go to church, and then straight across the street to your local restaurant.
If you dont really need a Knife to cut the Food you also can take that as a helping Tool, like a Spatula, to fill your Fork or tidy up your Plate. A Salat for example has often a raw leafy Character. With two Tools, Fork and Knife, its a lot easier to fold the Leaves to a Portion fits into your Mouth without looking weird or dropping all the sauce over the Place.
The knife is used to scoot the food on the fork. That reduces the amount of movement needed when trying to scoop up peas 😃 The cutlery in parallel on the plate pointing to like 5 o'clock is usually a sign for the waiter that you're done and the plate could be picked up. That's handy since most of the waiters will only check on you every once in a while. And so they can devise form a distance whether it's OK to clean up the table.
Again very funny and in the same time so interesting to reflect my own culture by looking into it from another perspective. By the way: In every good restaurant the meals for the members of a group will be served in the same time. An exception could be if some ordered a starter and others did not. Then the main course will be served for all together.
Drinks are mostly stored as bottles in a fridge but if there is a bar element there can be beer on tap and if it is a high volume restaurant (a beer garden usually would be), they might be soda on tap as well. But as with beer, the Container/keg would be cooled as well. People very rarely put ice into beer despite preferring beer to be cold, so you can have cold drinks without ice. There certainly are exceptions, but I’d say you generally only see ice cubes in cocktails in Germany.
14:50 the angle your cutlery is placed has a meaning. Parallel (to itself) means you are done with the plate. If the tips of your cutlery intersect and form a cross (the knife lying in the bent and over the spikes of the fork) means you are not done with the plate but you need to put down the cutlery for something like going to the toilet or something. Otherwise like she mentioned we usually keep the cutlery in our hands or placed back on the table (straight next to the plate where it will be placed initially). Nobody really does the napkin thing so it's more common to place the napkin folded flat at the place where the cutlery was initially (and then the cutlery placed ontop in the case where you place the cutlery on the table).
sharing a table is normal at a Biergarten or events but not in restaurants. "bad" service is not just because of tips. We germans just don't like to be interrupted. A good waiter is always visible and react to a small wink with your hand if you need a refill or want to order something.
Once you pick up fork and knife they do not go back on the table. if you need to set them down, set them on the plate till you are through with the dish. Next dish will have its own set of silverware.
The "coat not on the chair" thing was more of a practical thing where I worked as a waiter. with the purse dangling at your hip it was a nuisance to walk through the full room and getting stuck at almost every friggin chair
Must admit Ryan, my German wife and I have very similar dining etiquette, as have our sons which are of a similar age to yourself? I have often dined with Americans in the past and although nice people, many have the eating habits of a toddler!
Haha - relax, Ryan. Simply don't behave like you came straight out of a cave and you'll be fine. If a place really should require those very formal rules, you'll know from the first second you enter one of these restaurants. Don't panic and just enjoy some delicious german food - Greetings from Germany 👋👋
The one with the cutlery is quite simple: Parallel, as seen on the picture, let’s the waiter/waitress know that you are done. A triangle means you are taking a break and a wedge means you want more/ want to order something.
Some of these are definetly over the top but some of them are also definetly a thing where I live. When I go out eating with my family hats definetly have to come off, elbows stay off the table and you are expected to eat with both your fork and your knive. Yes you don't technically need your knive for a lot of foods but its still actually convenient and less messy to use it if you learned to do it. And the way you place your cuttlery on your plate is a nice way to let the waiter know whether you are finished or not. If they are on opposite sites of the plate, that means you are not done eating yet. When you put them parallel to each other on one side it means you are done and the waiter is free to take your plate.
As a German I can tell you that someone being in close proximity to me, be it in a restaurant or else where does by far not mean I have to talk or socialize with them :) I'm totally fine just coexisting next to each other for a couple minutes or hours :).
As for the ice issue: we dont have any "soda machines" outside of maybe mcdonalds and yes there it is constantly cooled. Restaurants have bottled beverages at the bar which are constantly cooled. For ice most restaurant have some of it lying around in the freezer but it isnt really much so they only put it in when u specifically want your drink with ice. It stays cool just fine without it too tho and many germans prefer no ice as it makes the drink more "watery"
Thats not really true I mean yes partially but especially the hat, having knife and fork in the hand at the same time, the ellbow thing,... are ment to be followed in most places and I think are not that hard to do
but was once common, when I was a child in the 80s ... it was also at the Greek an "event" to go eat and even then my parents have behaved so ... could one today also times again introduce in my opinion (good behavior has nothing to do with whether you are well off or not ;-) ) war aber früher mal gang und gebe, als ich in den 80ern Kind war .. war es auch beim Griechen ein "event" essen zu gehen und selbst da haben meine Eltern sich so benommen ... könnte man heute auch mal wieder einführen mMn ( Gutes Benehmen hat nichts damit zu tun ob man gut situiert ist oder nicht ;-) )
Absolutely my opinion...my mom was very strict with rules at the table (how to hold cutlery, starting together, leaving the table, when everybody finished the meal, except at restaurants where it can happen, that not everybody gets the food at the same time) BUT she never had so many rules...ok, no elbows on the tables an no feet on chairs was really important...
@@natsudragneel2640 of course some of the rules are meant in general. But i.e. the order to order (oldest lady first, youngest gentleman last) is more for restaurants of higher tiers.
These rules are some kind of oldfashioned??? I have never heard of the oldest woman starts ordering...how could the server know who is the oldest...we always order the way we are sitting...ice machines do exist! But it depends on the restaurant, the drinks are cool, but not as cold as the drinks in the US. Normally you do not put paper napkins onto your lap. These rules seem to work for high end restaurants where I would never put a foot into... 😅 Also the thing with the cutlery is a rule which is reeeeaaaally old. It doesn't really apply to everyday life. If you put your wallet on the table, normally the server knows that you have finished your meal and want to pay. No tip is really rude, so around 10 % is normal as a tip in my region. These rules sound like first edition knigge (guide for etiquette) from the year 1788...
if you dont need the knife for cutting, its often used to scoop things onto your fork. youre not gonna hold the knife while eating a soup though, its more of a once you pick it up you use till you put everything down edit: also, yes the cutlery needs to be parrallel at 20 past (like on the clock), since that means youre done. if you put it in different positions (fe at either side on the plate) it means different things like im not done, im just taking a break
The cutlery thing is that they have specific meanings. cutlery parallel together (as shown in the vid, can be 45° or 90°) means "i'm finished", separated at 90° has multiple meaings. its easier with symbols: / \ "taking a break" /\ "did not like" X "some more please" there are some more but these are the common ones.
The parallel fork to the knife usually means that you finished eating. If the fork and the knife are not parallel usually means you are still hungry / still want to eat something.
Faszinierend. 10 von 15 Regeln habe ich noch nie in "normalen" Restaurants erlebt. Ich arbeite noch dazu in der Gastronomie😂 Ja, wir lieben effizientes arbeiten und da hilft es wenn der Gast schon beim Speisekarte überreichen weiß was er trinken möchte damit diese serviert werden können während der Gast die Karte liest. Nummer 5 macht mich nur etwas wütend. Die meisten Restaurants haben einfach zu wenig Kellner. Kellner die kommen wann sie wollen findet man nicht in durchschnittlichen Restaurants. Ich hoffe TH-cam übersetzt das für mich.😅 Komm einfach nach Süddeutschland in ein normales Restaurant. 20% Trinkgeld, Hunger, Durst und gute Laune, dann sind wir Gastronomen glücklich.😊
Learned the basics from my parents. The more formal behaviour (like how to place your napkin, what forks and spoons to use and other social cues) I learned in dancing school.
Ryan, European waiters are trained professionals. The price of the dinner includes the service charge. You do not tip; unless you want to leave the small change after paying the bill in cash. They are taught to make a Steak Diane / Crepes Suzette / filet a fish and carefully place the fillets on the serving plate, or build you a steak tartar at your table. They also will wait till you give them a discrete nod to refill your wine glasses. In upper class restaurants YOU NEVER WEAR A HAT. That would show everyone that you have had a very poor upbringing and have no manners. The professional waiter in Europe will not joyfully greet you and tell you "Hi my name is Harry and I'll be your waiter this evening", or continuously interrupt your table conversation by asking you "Is everything alright?". You also do not start a conversation with your waiter. The table in a good restaurant is yours for the evening. Nobody is going to try and rush you, by bringing you the bill, so that they can rent the table again. If you want to leave, give the waiter a discrete nod and he'll bring the bill. The waiters are lifetime professionals, not college students, or actors between jobs trying to make a buck. Many good European restaurants a small. Seating may be close to the neighbor table. Do not listen to their conversation, and don't engage them in conversation. That is very bad manners. They are at their table; you are at your table. Just imagine that there is an invisible wall between adjoining tables.
the fork and knife use in the US, where you cut up all your food at once into forkable bites is what we do in Germany for children that can't eat with fork and knife yet. So if you eat like that in Germany, you parents will look at you and wonder if they failed you in some way when they raised you. Obviously you do not need to hold a knife in your hand for dishes that don't require a fork. However, the way the knife is used in germany is to use the knife to corral your peas and other items that won't cooperate with the fork. I myself still eat the german way here in the US, even after 25 years of living here.
as a german i rarely saw someone hanging their coat or jacket on a coathanger most people place them next to themselfs or under the table if they also have a bag in general many of those rules i never heard of
Most rules are considered common knowledge or manners. It's not expected since some people aren't taught by their parents but at a certain age one should look up what the etiquette for restaurants is.
@@BlueFlash215 what i meant more is that many of those rules are either not followed at all by a lot of people i observe or are just basic human decency like the cutlery thing is basic for me for many reasons, same with the elbow of the table and hands on. same with the "wait to be seated" but only for first time visits, because every restaurant may have different customs. unless it's a super fancy place obviously but i never heard about the napkin stuff to be a common thing in general but again only as a fancy place custom, where that should be obvious.
@Ryan Wass 6:50 hi Ryan, waiters don't work for your tip, they are employees of the restaurant owner or the owner himselve serves the meals and drinks. Here in Europe you are the guest in his (the owners) guesthouse. So be polite to the waiters (owners) and they are polite to you too. I hope you understand.
In most restaurants reserved tables are marked by a sign on the table which states the time the reservation comes into effect. If it is say about 2 hours away and there is no place setting yet, you could ask if you can use that table. A Stammtisch is also marked as such; it is usually reserved for a club or a circle of friends which meet regularly at that table. If the restaurant is full, you could ask to be seated there if no meeting is scheduled for the next few hours. Higher class restaurants mostly expect you to wait to be seated. "Normal" restaurants allow you to choose your table yourself, but it is polite to ask the innkeeper or a waiter if the chosen table is free. Sometimes they'll ask you if you expect more guests and seat you at a table of appropriate size. Most restaurants have coat racks, and in any better restaurant you are expected to use it, at least if you wearing a heavy coat or a wet raincoat. There are different kinds of restaurants: the more communicative and traditional sort like in the image at 5:17, where you sit near to other patrons and sometimes even share a table (and that is also the type of restaurant in which Germans are accustomed to socialize, at least at dinnertime) - even more so in the kind of restaurant which is at the same time used in a more pub-like fashion -, and the more "high-end" gastronomy with a lot of space between tables. In a traditional restaurant there is no king - neither you nor the waiter. The waiter is however the host (or their deputy), and you are a guest - not a customer in the traditional sense. And you are expected to be respectful to your host, if you expect to be treated with any respect yourself. Another point: most Germans also don't like servility, so being overfriendly will not earn you more tipps as a waiter. And if a waiter can not wait until you call them, but always comes and asks if they can bring something, interrupting your meal or your talk with your friends, Germans will often get the impression to be unwelcome, asking themselves: Do they want me to pay and go, so they can give the table to the next customer? In my experience most restaurants will nowadays serve tap water, at least if you also order some other drink (wine, beer, coffee, whatever). But some will you charge with a cover charge (for pitcher and glass). However that is not necessarily true for such restaurants which operate mainly as a pub, because they make most of their money by selling beverage, not food. Not looking in the eyes while toasting means a very specific kind of bad luck (7 years of bad s..) - it's (mostly) a joke. Ice in the drink is simply not common in Germany (except in a cocktail bar). Bottles for drinks which are supposed to be served cool are in a refrigerator; tap equipment is also cooled (in former times by ice blocks, but nowadays electrically). But a refrigerator is no freezer, and restaurant refrigerators don't come with freezer compartments. Most restaurants will have dedicated freezers back in a room adjacent to the kitchen, but not in the guest area or behind the bar. You can get ice cubes (sometimes even crushed ice) for your drink, but often the waiters will puzzled by such a request, and it will take some time. French and mediterranean cousine usually has multiple courses for dinner - a menu of the day in a traditional French restaurant has usually at least 3 courses, but in a traditional German restaurant you would nowadays have to order the courses separately. Some meals however come with an extra salad which is served in front before the main course. And before WW II it was still the rule to get at least a soup before the main course. The most rules she mentions sound a bit old-fashioned, but if you're invited by your boss into a "high-end" restaurant, you better follow them (except putting your napkin on the seat of your chair if you go to the bathroom - you put it either on the armrest or the back (if there is no armchair) or - even better - at the left side of your plate). If you on the other hand eat in one of the "more communicative" traditional restaurants you could earn some amazed glances if you e.g. put the napkin at your lap (especially if it is a paper napkin which is too lightweight to stay in your lap). As long as you do not put into your collar (like a baby napkin), all is well. (13:00 it is a paper napkin, which stays always on the table.) The knife is mostly not used to cut, but as a supporting instrument for the fork. If eating pasta, you'll get sometimes also a spoon, but you'll only put the food with the fork to your mouth, the spoon or knife is only there to help you to get the food on the fork. If the cutlery lies parallel to each other on the plate, it signals you have finished. If they lie in an angle to each other (more than 45° and less than 90°) it could mean you wait for more (even if in most restaurants there is no second helping, it would be a signal to the waiter you want to keep your plate before you).
About the waiter/waitress thing as I see it: I’ve only encountered quite nice waiters/waitresses at the very least, most have been absolutely lovely! We treat them like normal people with respect and they get paid completely normally so they don’t live off tips. Usually, if there’s something you’d like, we just raise a hand when they’re nearby and they’ll come over when they don’t have their hands full of dishes. The ordering order: In my family we just order around in a Circle from the person who starts. We sometimes have very small starters, but almost never take deserts. Of course we have an main though :) I myself don’t put my napkin in my lap because it’s annoying. We all use them to wipe our hands though! To the hygiene part you mentioned: We just view it as more polite to keep hands and elbows as mentioned and the waiters/waitresses always wipe the tables down. When we put the cutlery down, we just place it on the dishes’ edges. TLDR: my family doesn’t take it all that seriously - we just make sure we mind our manners and don’t eat like pigs
Wohin mit der Serviette, wenn Sie während des Essens aufstehen? Seit einiger Zeit mehren sich Veröffentlichungen, in denen zum Ablegen der Serviette während des Essens Folgendes empfohlen wird: Legen Sie Ihre Serviette auf den Stuhl/auf der Stuhllehne ab, falls Sie - etwa bei einem Buffet - während des Essens den Tisch verlassen wollen. Das ist eine Sitte aus den USA, die in Deutschland nicht gilt! Der deutsche „Parkplatz“ für die Serviette während einer Unterbrechung des Essens ist nach wie vor links neben dem Gedeck.
I disagree with #1: You usually seat yourself. Just watch for signs on the table saying "Stammtisch" or "Reserviert" and avoid using them. But if you are a larger group, you often call and explicitly reserve a table and then you wait to be seated at the table that is "reserviert" for you.
Agreed. I only came along one restaurant where it is mandatory to wait till you are seated. But when you have reserved, then you should ask, where that table is also ask to get seates.
When you go to a restaurant you haven't been before you almost always wait to be seated. If you are regular and know the drill you can sit down depending on the restaurant.
I disagree with your disagree. The only restaurants I've ever seen where I didn't have to be seated were the places in various different party districts. Where people are overflowing at every corner of the street and waiting to be seated is just no feasible. Except for those, every single restaurant I've ever been to had "wait to be seated" as a rule. And those were not some high class establishments. Most of them weren't even middle class establishments. And I don't count fast food joints as restaurants. Edit: Just shows that different parts of germany seem to have different rules in that regard as well.
These are all rules my grandparents engrained into my brain.... The napkin one is kind of silly, haven't followed that one often.... You constantly hold knives and forks even when not cutting meat to shove things onto your fork ... Makes it easier and you can get more stuff on your fork 😋
true, ive only used the napkin very rarely, and only in specific restaurants but tbh in a normal environment you dont even need to know about the napkin rule for example
In most restaurants you do not wait to be seated, just choose the table you like. Only in very fancy restaurants you will be guided to a table. If you have reserved a table in advance you should ask which one is yours. If there are any tables that are reserved, there will be a sign "reserviert ab xxx" (xxx= time when the table is reserved for other people. You can use it, if you think you will be finished in time.
It also depends how full the restaurant is (and how large it is). If it is mostly empty, there is little harm in choosing your own table (of course look out for ‘Reserviert’ or ‘Stammtisch’ signs). If it looks pretty full, you’d more likely approach a waiter and ask if they they have space for x persons, as the waiter might often know where there is still free space, in particular if there several rooms you cannot easily see all for areas yourself. Additionally, the waitstaff might know that one table would become available in short time. And finally, if the staff approaches you as you enter the restaurant and greets you, you of course ask them to seat you. What I have not seen in Germany yet is a permanent greeter behind a podium at the entrance (but maybe some really posh places have them).
Hallo there Ryan! First,congratulations!!!! You're way over 50K subscribers.👏👏👏 Keep going! Next is, when you're dining out for business meetings,weddings, big party celebrations like 50th or 90th,(round birthdays usually),official inaugurations, dining out in 5 Star restaurants/hotels,these etiquettes are common. Children are taught at an early age and grew up with this upbringing so it's kind of self understood. But don't worry,nobody would care if you miss one or two,unless you're sitting with old generations,they do still mind. 🤭 No offense intended,McDonald's, Burger King,Kfc and the like are not that restaurants she's talking here. We just call McDonalds, etc. Fastfoods. 😇
Children learn to eat with a knife and a fork as early as kindergarten. In restaurants or at formal/official occasions/meetings it's common to eat this way. At home, everyone eats the way they feel comfortable. At home, I eat my salad or pasta with just a fork. But in restaurant with a knife and fork. It's not a big deal because, as I said, you learn it in kindergarten.
As a german, i have to disagree on some points. - I never leave my coat or jacket anywhere. Most places even have a sign telling that they won't be responsible for any theft or loss. - Most places will serve you drinks with ice if you ask for it. - Only the higher tier restaurants expect you to wait to be seated, from my expirience. - I have never done the napkin thing. Never once. - Restaurants usually have prepared sets of cutlery. They get wrapped in a napkin and the server just brings you one bundle. So you always get fork, spoon and knife. - When eating salad, the knife is just for pushing stuff onto the fork - The position of the cutlery is a sign to the waiter. If you put your cutlery on the plate at a 90° angle to each other, that means "i will still eat that". If you put them in parallel, it means "i'm done with this". - About Tips: You have to keep in mind that waiters earn at least minimum wage here, unlike the US. Any tip you give is on top of that, but the waiter doesn't depend on it for a living. So if you are really dissatisfied, it is perfectly fine to not tip. Also, most germans still pay cash. So usually, when i get my bill, i just round that up to the next full bill and say "stimmt so" when handing it over.
She sure is a great funny entertainer. Because nothing what she said is true. I’m a German and ever lived in Germany . You can order ice cream, but you don’t get 3/4 ice and 1/4 coke. I really have no idea where she was for having dinner. I’m sure it wasn’t a restaurant. Maybe a MC Donald’s Restaurant? I never heard about a doggy bag in Germany. And no one must give a tip . We give a tip if we were happy with the eat, drink and service. And yes, here we ask for the bill because our service personal is so polite to wait for your wish to pay. Here in Germany we have the bad feel if the waiter comes with the bill he wish that we go and he maybe need a free table again.
About the tables being close to each other: You definitely are not expected to talk to your table neighbors, that would be weird. Maybe it's the American in you who thinks it would be strange not to talk to them, but it's completely normal to just mind your own business even when you have people right next to you. Although I do prefer to have an empty table next to me.
@Ryan Wass hi Ryan, McDonald KFC, Burger King call the fast food room a restaurant. A european restaurant differs a lot to fast foods, for example you find hooks for your jacket and a super clean toilet and many other things McDonald and the others have never heard of ...
In most restaurants, it's not that strict. Only the classical ones are stricter with some rules. Most restaurants are available without booking a table. The booked tables will have a place card on them which says "reserviert" (engl.: reserved/booked). You're not allowed to sit at these tables. You'd have to talk to a waiter first, anyway. They'll show you available tables. You also are allowed to put your jacket over your chair, if the restaurant doesn't have a jacket rack ... The rules when eating are called Knigge. A guy by the name of Adolph Knigge invented them in the late 18th century. Most of the Knigge rules are a bit over the top, but some are still used today, but you'll learn them from your parents at home anyway
Also, don't leave the table unless everyone finished his meal (unless you're going to the toilet or want to take a short step outside to get some fresh air or smoke). Should be common sense at a restaurant, but also at home.
Dear Ryan, stay cool. Things are much easier than explained. First: Fast food is no restaurant, you can do whatever you like. And for "real" restaurants: Please, don't place the napkin on the chair, just put it next to your plate. In most parts of Germany you take you coat to the place; in the east you place it usually at the wardrobe. Or just take a look what the others did do, that will answer the question fine. And usually everyone at a table should get the meals at the same time. If not, reduce the tip. And of course the waiter is not the king. Anyway, you do wait for the waiter, but a good waiter/waitress just is around at the right time.
Most of those "rules" are rather formal ones, means if you go to a "normal" (not posh) restaurant they are not imperative - however taking off your hat (especially as a guy) when you enter a room (and not only a restaurant but any inside room) still is goes as good manners. Also, sharing a table with strangers does NOT force you to talk to them - maybe that´s a cultural difference. Sure it is polite to greet and bid farwell to the person sitting next to you but it is not required that you engage in some random conversation just for the sake of sitting close to each other.
This feels more like someone read some antiquated book about table manners than someone that actually goes to restaurants with their friends. No one here cares about the majority of the things claimed in this video.
The German Dining Etiquette is really situation dependent. Some of the mentionend rules are important for every restaurant (not Mc Donalds/Burger King/...): 1) Let the oldest woman order first (It is common but usually you just let women order first. This really depends on the group you are having around you) 2) Keeping eye contact while toasting 3) Hands on the table, elbows of the table 4) Eating with knive and fork (as you asked: you will push (don´t know if push is the right word for it) the salad with your knive on your fork so you will use the fork horizontal and not perpendicular) 5) laying your cutlery down in a 45° angle when you finished eating (this is really important because this angle shows not only that you are finished (even if there is something left on your table) but also that you enjoyed your food) 6) Giving 10% tip Others are important for restaurants of higher level or for dining with "special people" (like your boss/ people you do not know that good/...) 1) Waiting to be placed (this really depends on the restaurant!) 2) Taking your hat off 3) Hang your coat 4) putting the napkin on your lap Some little corrections: "Stammtische" are less common in real restaurants than in beergardens or at bars. You will probably only find them in traditional german (often bavarian) restaurants. Sharing a table is not common in Germany. The tables are pretty close to each other because many restaurants, especially in cities, don´t have that much space. In restaurants of higher level they won´t be that close to each other. The waiter or the waitress is not the "king" in Germany. They do their best to treat you as good as possible but many restaurants do not have enough staff, especially since Covid. As many Germans know this fact, they usually try to treat the waiter or waitresses as good as possible and they try to make their job as easy as possible. You will get tap water in many restaurants but it will usually cost some money. Some restaurants deny giving tap water because they are worried about their reputation or something like that. The sizes of the portions vary from restaurant to restaurant. You will get smaller portions at restaurants of higher level. In restaurants of a really high level you schouldn´t ask for a doggy bag.
Who actually does the "let the oldest woman order first" thing though? I've never heard of that rule before, and have never seen it done either. Neither in casual family dinners, to family functions, to more high class dinners, etc. Could that be regional?
@@prnzssLuna no, it's to show respect for the older generation or the host if someone invites you, but it depends on the occasion and circumstances. If you go to a restaurant to celebrate grandma's birthday, of course the birthday girl orders first. When you're out with friends, that have young children with them, it's common to order food for the hungry kids (since they have a smaller stomachs and are not good with not eating for 4-6hours) and maybe just drinks for the adults, until the adults are ready to order. If you are out with your friends it doesn't matter.
In german resturants only beer comes from the tap. Soft drinks come from a bottle! Nobody here uses the soda taps that mix syrup and water, we get the stuff you buy at a store.. and the bottle are stored in a fridge
In most restaurants in Germany, you chose your own table. Waiting to be seated by staff basically only happens in high class restaurants. What you have to consider is that very popular restaurants will during certain times (in the evening) be fully booked. While you will chose your own table at the same restaurant say in the afternoon, you will not be able to get a free table without prior reservation at the same restaurant in the evening.
FYI usually they have ice for drinks, but at most you get 1-2 pieces or have to ask for it. The beverage will be cold from the start and since sizes rarely come to or execeed 500mL /16f.ounces its wont get to warm till you finish (300ml/10f.ounces is most common)
Austrian here. We learn these manners from our parents when we are little children so they become almost automatisms and later in our lives we don't have to think about them any longer as we behave according to etiquette because it has become second nature to us. And yes, of course you put your hat and coat to the clothes rack before you get seated and don't use the place at your side as a storage. But at a lot of places the staff will take your streetwear, when you enter, and put it in the cloakroom anyways.
O yes! Just as you mention it: I remember that from my childhood. But in Germany it disappeared long time ago. First, the waiter disappeared, then the husband helps his wife and both the kids out of their coats. And meanwhile, I am used to hang my things over my chair, after twice my and once my father's coat had disappeared and only a similar coat was there ... Some people just can't see the difference of two coats of same colour.
Ryan it is time to have a visit to Germany. I have no clue where she come from or which restaurant she goes to. But it sounds like as if I would go in the 70 to a German restaurant. I really like your channel, it makes me always smile. It is nice to see your reaction to the topics. An actually visit to Germany would be a complete different and more complex experience. Keep it up all the best, Greets Frank from Hamburg
7:35 I never heard about that rule. Usually some person starts to order, likely the person closest to the waiter, and then everybody else orders in a row, similar to when playing a board game.
Hey Ryan, as a fellow German guy I am really enjoying your content. Maybe you could check out one of our biggest Television culture named "Berndt das Brot". After the television program ended, it was shown through the whole night on a loop, and it's quite entertaining. Feel free to check out the subtitled version, one episode is called "Berndt das Brot- Nerdparty- Englisch" subtitle"
![Tranquil Monday Morning Winter Walk Goslar 🇩🇪 [4K]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/y3KG26BxSME/mqdefault.jpg)
![Tranquil Monday Morning Winter Walk Goslar 🇩🇪 [4K]](/img/tr.png)
I am not sure if that is a good guide for someone visiting Germany the first time. I watched the first rules and was like "yeah, that's not how it is in Germany".
1. Everything is possible here starting from waiting to be seated (mostly in more fancy places), picking your seat directly or waiting and ask which spots are free to choose from.
2. Yes, it would be definitely more polite to take a hat off (and for me wearing a real hat like in the picture would be weird at a restaurant), but wearing caps would be totally normal (unless you are at a fancy place)
3. Hanging the coat is again more a thing in fancy restaurants. In other places it would be totally normal to put it on the back of your chair.
I have also never been to a restaurant where sharing a table with strangers would be a thing. This might be something related to beer gardens or maybe at a bar.
4. Choosing as soon as possible might be correct. But typically the waiter would come by whenever he is free to ask whether you know what to order or you need some more time. They wouldn't make you to decide in a hurry. Especially in upper class restaurants this would never happen.
5. I'd say in Germany nobody is on the "King side". The difference to the US is that customers don't treat the personnel the way you described, but as they still try to get tipped they also wouldn't treat you as bad as it felt from her description. However, there are places where this happens (e.g. the Köbes at the breweries in Cologne). But that's not the "normal" thing to happen.
6. The order she describes is really weird to me. In fancy restaurants it might happen that the waiter asks the ladies first, but typically they will just start at one end of the table and go through everybodies orders.
7. Tap water, yes, here she is 100% correct and also the eye contact during toasting is real. There is another rule she didn't mention: Most of the time you are toasting pairwise and you are not allowed to cross the arms of another pair toasting.
Ice in softdrings, I never noticed that. Most of the time I prefer the drinks without ice as they are cold enough from the beginning. Otherwise the melting ice would delute the drinks.
8. Napkin on the labs is also more a thing in more fancy places.
9. Here you are completely right. You would wait for everyones food to arrive, but since this would mean that some food would be cold until everything is there, it is most common that the onse who are still waiting would offer that it is okay to start already.
10. Elbows off the table is correct, but also not everybody is following this rule especially in "normal" restaurants.
11. For the fork and the knife, I guess she wanted to say that you don't switch between using the knife and not using the knife. But if you have some food that doesn't need a knife at all, you also wouldn't keep it in your hand.
12. The placement of the cutlery is to signal the waiter that you are finished with eating and not just taking a small break. So it is important to have this exact angle.
13. Taking the leftovers with you is ok (maybe not in the most fancy places), but the name "doggy bag" wouldn't be used in German. We would say "können sie mir das bitte einpacken?" which literally means "could you please pack this for me?"
14. Yes, you need to ask for the bill. In the US it felt like they wanted to empty the table as soon as possible to make room for new guests, while in Germany you would even stay for a while once you are finished. So you need to clarify whenever you are ready to go.
15. A tip of 15%-20% would be normal in Germany, but still there would be a similar range as in the US for extraordinary good or bad service. But keep in mind, that you pay the bill directly to the waiter (and not leave the money on the table as in some other countries). So you need to tell them how much change you are expecting from them. If you don't want any money back you'd say "Stimmt so" which means "It's fine, keep the change".
Maybe what she described is typical for her region, but those were definitely not general rules in Germany.
All Videos i have watched from her channel i recognized that she is not german and don't really knows about german real life and culture very well
Idk keeping your cap on is still very impolite unless you count fast food restaurants as restaurants ig.
Also I always use my napkin, what's the point of even having it if I keep it on my table? Even paper napkins have saved my pants from grease often enough for me to do it again.
I also always feel weird about % tips, it really depends on how much you pay in the first place imo, neither in very cheap nor very expensive restaurants would I tip 15%
No, 15-20% tip is not normal in Germany. 10% is more common, as is just "rounding up".
15-20% was a little bit more normal in recent years when such places were struggling, but as that's over (even though the reason isn't over, the behavior is, for the most part), I wouldn't do so anymore.
Thanks, I was shaking my head a lot, while watching this. Lol. It’s so different depending where you are. And tables being close to each other, doesn’t make us socialize more 😅🌻
@@silkwesir1444 so, if you've had a 145 euro meal you would give them 160 euros? I'm kind of sure most people would just give 150 or 145 and only a very small minority would go beyond no? In my opinion the tipping is really more to avoid the hassle of bringing change for the waiter or the hassle of carrying change then any real tipping culture.
As someone who worked in a traditional palatine restaurant I have to say that many older people feel ripped off when give them ice in their Cola or something, because it's very important that the glass is filled up to the "eich", a line denoting the volume of your drink, with liquid
Yes, I want what I pay for! 😉 For me it was and is important, as customer, and bar keeper.
I think one big difference that explains a lot of those etiquette rules: We don’t consider fast food chains like McDonalds as restaurants, so when we talk about restaurants it’s already a bit nicer than that. And for me it really depends on how nice the restaurant is, whether I follow all the rules 😅
That's what I mentioned in my comment.
Most American restaurants are Food chains or companies. They try to serve as many people as possible. Cracker Barrel is the first example that comes to my mind. It wants to give you the feel of a restaurant but I realized living in the US that most of my friends and family there didn't knew what a European restaurant is like.
It's run by a single person or a family business.
Yeah, I was also thinking about that. Where did he find the restaurant with dirty napkins full of mashed potatoes on the table?
I divide them into the three types: fast food, cafeteria, restaurant
Fr! It always throws me off seeing people use “restaurant” for fast food chains. It’s just straight up an insult lmao
Yeah i dont do most of it
@@BlueFlash215 Also, usually I dont feel like Im getting heavier from just looking at the food, like its the case in quite a few fast food chains
I'm from Germany, and I don't know wich Restaurants this lady went to for dinner, but what she says is not typical for a standard restaurant in Germany.
It depends how yr raised and educated...
That is more like quote traditional Knigge than the standard middle class behaviour
@@jeremygilbert3005 unfortunately... people eating like pigs meanwhile
agree
thats standard in every traditional german restaurant, specially in the south.
A lot of these rules are very formal and used either in higher tier restaurants or during events. I'd definitely wait to be seated in most establishments. A lot of places do provide you with ice in your drinks and from my experience restaurant portions in Germany are still smaller than they are in the US (at least on average). In your average restaurant nobody is gonna care about how you angle your your cutlery/fold your napkin etc, just make sure to not spill food/drinks and you're good.
well in bavaria restaurant portions are giant XD my sister and mom are never able to finish their normal dish and a average man will be very pleased with the portions.
@@gecgoodpasi1654 I usually don't finish my portions either. But just from talking to my US friends, the portions do seem smaller. It's still a lot though. Thanks for the feedback. Stay safe.
i think in peticular the ordering order is very old, yes, the oldest or yungest person starts but mostly then the order is clockwhise i think XD
It's a very weird mix of stuff that fits the local pub (die Eckkneipe) and stuff that you would expect from a very high end restaurant.
Like talking about the order in which to order is extremely high end and I've been to Michelin star restaurants that haven't taken it that serious and on the other hand talking about big portions which does not fit fancy restaurants.
I have never wasted a single thought about "ordering order". 😉 I think this one is wayyy over the top these days. Usually the waiter will just look at someone (preferably the person sitting closest to where he/she is standing) and this person will start ordering. 😉
about being seated: when you enter a restaurant and there isn't a staff member immediately asking you where you want to sit (or how many seats your group needs), i'd always choose a table myself. so, usually you don't have to worry about how to behave, because either they'll tell you or you're free to do what you want to do.
reserved tables usually have a sign on them (either "reserviert" or "Stammtisch"), so you know which ones to avoid when seating yourself.
regarding coats: yes, when you have a long coat or a winter jacket, then hanging it on a rack is usually the better solution, so noone steps on it. but if you're wearing a thinner jacket, it's completely fine to keep it at your table/over your chair as long as you're not in a super fancy restaurant. if they like it or not shouldn't really be your concern.
who is king? the customer is! *but* that does *not* mean, the staff will always interrupt you during the meal to ask you, if you want something. a 'good servant' doesn't speak unless spoken to - after you got your meal that is. so, if you want something, you as 'the king' give them a sign and they'll come over.
even if you work for tips, annoying 'the king' is never a good idea, because he might be displeased with your intrusive behavior. talking too much as a waiter might be the reason to *not* get tipped. and as 'the king' i don't want to know the names of 'the servants' - that's too much unnecessary information.
about the order of ordering: usually the waiter will ask the oldest lady first anyways, so that's usually nothing you really have to worry about. it's the staff's job to keep the polite order of ordering.
napkins: you usually don't do that, if your not a toddler or a really old person being unable to not spill anything - unless you're at a very fancy restaurant.
cutlery: putting your cutlery in an upside-down V-shape onto the plate means, you're not done yet but are just pausing (or want more food in a private setting). putting it parallel to each other onto the plate means you're done - at least with the current course.
the hygiene part is not so much to not get germs on your cutlery, but to not make the tablecloth dirty.
doggy bags aren't very common in most places. and i would absolutely disagree with her statement, it's more polite to take it home with you than leaving it on the table. unless it's a restaurant with unusal big portions, you should just order as much as you want to eat - not more. then there is just no need for any doggy bags.
tipping: i always find it weird to tip a certain _percent_ of the bill. why? putting a plate with cheap food in front of me is just as much work as putting a plate with expensive food in front of me for the waiter. i tip the _service_ - not the _food_ itself (the price of the food is already included in the bill). if anything a waiter in a cheap restaurant is more desperate for tips, than a waiter in a fancy restaurant. so, i will always base the amount i'm tipping on how pleased i'm with the service - meaning the less they annoy me, the more they get.
To our fellow American friend: The knife isn't used for cutting only but it is used for moving and portionizing the food on your fork before you move the fork to your mouth.
🤣 very good.
Americans usually use knives for sticking these in other people, they are not used to the more civilised handling.
Exactly. ☺️
Thats really a cultural difference. I was out with american working buddys and noticed thats they pre cut everything and then just used the fork. Like you do for a kid..cut the steak in bite sized pieces first and then just use the fork to nibble away..while others cut&bite and as you said, use the knife to move stuff on the fork. Both untensils in hand all the time, while they used one after the other. Must not be everyone, but from 10 people, 8 did it that way at least.
and we don`t try to kill each other with these knives, as far as I know one of the American horror visions
I've always followed the same rules in the UK and abroad. The napkin is to stop food falling in your lap and ruining your nice clothes. Europeans hold their knife and fork in different hands from the US. With multiple courses, you start with the cutlery on the outside and work your way in with each course. (the wait staff usually take away cutlery for courses you haven't ordered.) The knife and fork thing when you've finished eating just makes sense. It lets the wait staff know they can clear your plate away and you're ready for the next course (If one was ordered.) It all manners and communication without having to talk or having people interrupting your nice meal.
Parents teach you the Dining Etiquette to make sure you do not embaress yourself when your boss, or anyone you want to impress, asks you out to eat in a job interview or something. It just shows you are "from a good house".
It shows that we're humans and not filthy animals that fart and burp.
I guess that's what it feels like if you're just have to learn it, but there is more to it. if you behave in a good way it's also a way to be sure not to offend somebody else with the way you're eating, as you won't like it for yourself if someone's behaves like a pig next to you while eating. it's not to impress anyone, it's about being respectfull to others. and that for me seems pretty usefull in life in general.
@@dvont1383 but we are filthy animals xD 99% of people dont use "proper" etiquette in private or casual settings which kinda means thats our(as a species) default
Hey, I really known an HR who would only go for lunch for a job interview.
He said those positions the person is interviewed have all the same qualifications (wich universities they went, former jobs). And this is already checked by his department and assistant. So the only thing he wants to know is what kind of person this is. Thats why it’s really essential to know how to behave in public.
@@gecgoodpasi1654 very true, but a little etiquette can't be too bad and brings a lot of pleasant benefits with it
You should at least know how to do it and respectfully follow those rules if people are uncomfortable with the way you eat near them
Edit: or of course if the setting calls for it.
Edit 2 lol: I just mean etiquette that actually serves a purpose, I wouldn't force kids or teenagers to learn where to place the little fork and where to place the big fork
Many rules depend on who you're with. If I'm out with friends I don't care about the napkin or if my hands are on the table. At business dinners it is expected to follow more of the "fine dining" etiquette.
However, the cutlery placement isn't only polite but actually quite helpful because it signals when you're done with your meal. If you cross your cutlery on your plate most servers wouldn't take it away because it signals that you're not done eating yet :)
Don't worry too much about it. Most of her tipps sound like they are from an etiquette handbook. In Germany the household name for these rules was "Knigge". But they only applied for fancy restaurants anyway.
Well in my bubble it's quite necessary to behave well anytime..
I don't mind ppl holding there hands under the table but at least close your mouth, even in private
Not at all! You don't behave for the restaurant. You behave according to the impression you want somebody else to have from you.
Therefor: yes, the lady in the video has learned german etiquette as a foreigner, didn't grow up with it. It is indeed much more complicated and sophisticated.
true
It‘s not old Knigge. It‘s still actual good manner behaviour.
Additionally she is mixing tipps for restaurant with tipps for other establishments. I am 37 years old and lived my whole life in Germany. Never have I ever been seated at a stranger's table in the restaurant.
The parallel cutlery thing is a signal that you're done and don't want more. On the other hand if you lay them crossed or wedged or similar you signal you are still hungry
About the napkins: when it is a cloth napkin, you usually place it onto your lap. If it is a paper napkin, you keep it next to your plate.
Some of her rules would only apply to fancier restaurants (those have cloth napkins).
The knife is not only for cutting, but also for scooping food onto the fork. And you would use the knife and cut pieces of meat etc. while you go about your meal. You would not first cut everything.
And as others have already said, you place the cutlery parallel to indicate to the waiter that you are finished with your meal (regardless if the plate is empty or not), so they know they can take it away. Usually the waiter only comes and takes everything away, after everyone at the table has placed their cutlery parallel.
We have a similiar rule about the menus. You look at the menus and after you have chosen, you close the menu and place it down in front of you, so the waiter knows that you are ready to order. Waiters don't come to your table often, but the good ones are very observant and will recognize those signs.
and to add to that: If you have good manners, you do not use your fork to "spear" the food. Instead you would scoop the food onto the fork using your knife as @Jonaelize already explained. That's why you "can't" eat properly without a knife in your hand.
right you only precut your meat if you are a toddler or a peasant
I’ve never been to a restaurant that will sit you with another party at one table and usually I don’t use the coat rack if the place isn’t super fancy but idk about that one
She's not german, so I guess she's a scholar etiquette/Knigge expert.
so from the way she was talking and all the things she was addressing is something you will mainly find in high-class to luxury-class restaurants with the occasional "local" rule (eg. regulars table); in regards to cutlery the basic to remember is only put them close together without crossing them to signal your finished, or have them crossed if there was something wrong with the food or the composition of taste is just awfully off a sort of non verbal show of hey this might need rethinking by the chefs; the ice in drinks is really not an issue because stuff like coke is kept ultra low for a to be served drink, as well it is really not often you will have one drink long enough for it to change to room temperature
Hi Ryan, I enjoyed your video and try to give you some explanations/perspective for the german behavior.
Number 1: It's rather a waiter is welcoming you at the door and leads you to available tables you can choose from. And of course if the waiter is busy you wait a moment so he/she can greet you at the door, instead of running into the restaurant and sitting yourself. But it has more to do with being welcomed into the restaurant than with where to sit.
Number 3: Most restaurants have hangers for your coats, but also a sign making you responsible for taking care that your coat doesn't get stolen. Therefor most Germans do't use them and keep their coats at their seats, if they aren't sitting in front of the hangers.
Number 6: I never heard of this, this would be just to complicated and pure chaos for who gets what. Normally in big groups the waiter starts on one side of the table and goes around in order (as we german love order😉)
Number 7: For the ice, as their is no free refiling in Germany, many Germans feel Ice in your drink is a scam and watering down what you are drinking. But the drinks are cooled and stay cool long enough to enjoy them til the end
Number 12: if you aren't finished with your dish (e.g going to to toilet) you cross your cutlery on the plate so the waiter won't clean the table. If you are finished you put it parallel. The angel doesn't matter.
There is just so much variety when it comes to restaurants that most rules should have an asterisk saying it depends. For example, if you are in a group of only three or four, the rule that the waiter starts asking the oldest person first applies somewhat.
It's absolutely irrelevant if they have a sign or not. They are responsible for your coats.
@@BlueFlash215 And yet i never see anyone using the hangers. I mean rationally how many coats get really stolen? But the sign alone is a reminder of the possibility and no one likes the hassle.
I think the german saying " Vorsicht ist besser als Nachsicht" - "better safe than sorry" is rather fitting.
The angle (I admit: it looked strange 🤣🤣🤣) does matter. It is called "20 nach 4", which means 20 minutes past 4 pm. It indicates you have finished esting.
@@adamryan977 It depends, in the countryside, you are more likely to trust people and use the hangers. In city centres, you’d trust them less. I personally use them a lot.
These rules are common all over Europe, and they are not confusing, since we grow up with it.
By the way, Ryan, the knife is not only for cutting, for instance, a fish knife (yes, it exists) has no sharp edges. A knife helps part all other types of food, like potatoes and, most important, it is a tool that supports your fork hand. With other words, a knife is used to shove your food (rice, for instance) onto your fork. We eat always with fork and knife, even at home, unless it is chicken drum sticks (depends on the type of meal and the setting), chicken wings, barbecue, hamburger (fast food!), or pizza.
The knife and fork, placed parallel to each other on your plate, in 4 o'clock position, is a clear indication for the waiter that you finished this plate and that he can take your plate away.
When you get a three-course meal, it refers only to the main dishes and not "entree" or dessert. Usually, you'll get a main dish with meat, another one with fish, and another one might be game or lobster, for instance.
Interesting, to me a 3 course meal would consist of entree (like soup or fish), meat, and dessert.
Don't cut potatoes with a knife.....😮
Just to add another (less strict) POV.
Summary would be that she mentions a lot of theoretically correct and polite things that *really really depend on the environment*, who you are dining with and in what kind of restaurant (fancy vs grounded) and
it probably ranges from just like you described about the US to a bit more strict
1. Seating: She prefers to "wait to be seated" but if you choose anyways then make sure to not sit on a Stammtisch or a reservated table. So basically just wait to be seated to avoid that.
2. Hat: Taking off the hat is a bit oldschool yet polite and pretty much depends on where you go.
3. Rack: There is a coat rack but it is not a problem at all to have the jacket on the chair. There is a difference between fancy expensive restaurants, basic restaurants, old style and modern etc.
4. -
5. Who is King: The king thing is BS. Depending on the place again the service might be less "fake friendly" but in other places super friendly
6. Who orders first: Ladies first is a gentleman thing to do, just it. Not a rule. If its busy the waiter just will go person by person
7. Cheers: Eye contact is 100% true :D. I've never seen a problem with that ice thing. My grandparents had a guesthouse in a remote village and decades ago they had an ice machine already. 34 years in Germany, never seen.
8. Napkin is not an issue anywhere. I agree with you. Maybe in her friends circle thats how that works but usually nobody cares unless you are as you said "dining with the queen"
9. Waiting for everyones food to arrive: Accurate. It is with common sense though
10. Ellbows and Hands: Accurate WHILE eating.
11. Cuttlery: You eat with whatever you need, Pizza you can eat by hand as well, Burger ofc. Asian Food maybe even with sticks. You are not holding a knife eating a salad
12. Cuttlery position: Accurate. It tells the waiter that you most likely are done eating. Angle doesn't matter, just keep em together. Seperate means you might want to continue. I've worked as a waiter before and it does indeed help to when to approach a customer and ask "Can I remove your plate"
I think I almost always use my knife when eating a salad (as well as most other dishes). Not to cut the salad (that is only necessary if the salad leaves are too large) but simply to push things together and prevent the food from sliding while pushing the fork into it or with many other foods like, eg, rice or peas, to push the food onto the fork.
In many restaurants you're also automatically seated if you walk into this hallway up to the desk where waiters will be waiting for you. Similar to how we can see people get seated in American restaurants (in movies or videos) with this desk right after the door).
The napkin thing I know from my grandma, so maybe it's a very outdated/regional thing
About 5. There are some restaurants where it applies that the waiters are a little (some might say: quite) rough. The restaurant of the "Früh" brewery in Cologne is such an example. But usually the guests know about it in advance. And those who don't know and complain make a fool themselves and get laughed about by the other guests.
the angle thing is for the waiter, we are drilled to use specific handmotions to pick up your plates so if you dont use the 4:20 you kick us out of the rythm =)
A knife in many cases is for moving the food around and post it onto the fork or spoon
She mostly talked about fancy restaurants. When you go into a restaurant - when there is no one standing near the door it means that you can choose your table. Just look around an a waiter will see you, make a short greeting (e.g. "Hello"/"Good evening"). The waiter will react to it which tells you if you can choose your table. Perhaps the waiter ask how many people you are and will than show you an option. Sit down. Shortly after the waiter will bring you the card and ask you if you allready know what you want to order for the first drink. Normally you haven't seen into the card. So ask for the drinks you like. Ordering starts with one person and then it will go clockwise or against the clock for the next person to order. When all ordered he will leave to prepare the drinks. The waiter will come with the drinks and ask if you have allready choosen the food. If you haven't choosen the waiter will leave. You can show that you are ready to order - close the card and lay it down at the table. The same in ordering for the food. Normally the food is served nearly the same time. If you are a bigger group the waiter will bring the first plates and will go to catch the other ones. You wait until everybody at your table has his food and start to eat together. After few minutes (depends on how much a waiter has to do) he will come and ask if everything is ok. If the waiter makes a good job he will see if your glas is getting empty and he will come to ask you if you want to order something to drink. If not, just look around and try to get eye contact. Then simply raise your hand or empty glass towards the waiter as if to toast. You can put a napkin on your lap, but you don't have to. The cutlery can also be used to communicate how the food tasted (but not every waiter/guest understands the cutlery language).
A lot of what she said is half true: I never put the napkin on my knees, but fold it up on the table (probably under the plate). I usually hang my jacket on the chair, because most restaurants have a sign at the hangers saying that you are responsible for your stuff not getting stolen.
True, but this could be difficult for the waiters as they will have less space to walk and might stumble.
@@kristinuebele4649 It is very rare (in my experience) to have someone seated at the end of a table. Usually there are tables for six stacked and therefore no problem for the waiters.
So the cutlery stuff is really accurate, since I was little I learned to angle my cutlery and will even do it when visiting family or when I’m at home, it’s just second nature. It also helps the waiters know when you’re done and that they can take away your plate. The napkin rule however… yeah we never do that, even in a fancy restaurant.
The parallel cutlery simply means "I'm done" and signals that your plate can be taken away. Otherwise you are saying that you only take a break from eating. This can also apply at home. So some people might think you want more to eat, if it isn't in parallel .
What she describes are what is considered good dining manners. I think you can see how well someone was raised by how they handle themselves when dining outside (even in a standard restaurant). My mother made sure that all of her children knew their table manners and she never had to worry about our behaviour because we learned it at a young age. You could place me at a fancy gala dinner and i´d had no trouble to execute polished dining manners. I´m very thankful for this, because i´ll never have to worry about embarrassing myself or others in this kind of situation and i´ll definitely pass this on to my own children. Greetings from Germany :)
Does the term “conformist” ring a bell? That’s people who follow BS rules just because.
Here some thoughts as a German:
The fist couple rules are very outdated😅 nobody under 60 would follow most of them😅 at least in northern Germany.
But you do have to keep eye contact while clinching your glasses otherwise you will get 7 years of bad sex.
Most Germans just don’t like ice cold drinks so we don’t care if there is no ice.
Yes put the napkins in your lap so you don’t spill stuff on your clothes, but usually only at fancy places😅
Yeah you usually start eating once your food arrives it would get cold otherwise
And for the elbows that’s more of a being formal because it is considered rude to do that.
For the cutlery once you are done eating you signal that to the waiter by positioning it at 4:20 on a clock. So that’s why the angle is important.
10% tip is a loose guideline not a requirement
Hope that helps😊 love from Schleswig-Holstein😊
Well I guess even though some people might see it as outdated I don't like when people don't put off their hat or cap when eating or being indoors but well I do agree with most of the rest and yeah love back to Schleswig-Holstein☺☺
Well if it's a better restaurant, you should take your hat/cap off. Of course that doesn't count for Dönerbuden, McDonalds, ordering something to eat in a bar, etc.
Where I come from in Bavaria, we just round up the tip. If we have to pay 11,50€, we pay 12€.
Actually we still do that in north Germany. If it is good restaurant or café you always hang your jacket and hat.
If you enter a building you take your hut of. You shouldn't use it to hide your messed up hair. And if you're in a restaurant they shouldn't mess up the order, so everyone can starts at the same time
The knife is not just for cutting. You use it to push food on to your fork so you get a perfect mix of the things on your plate in every bite.
One thing that caught me off guard when I moved here is that, in many restaurants, dogs are allowed. 99% of the time, you don’t even know they are there until the people get up to leave.🐶
Oh, thats not standard? Never really thought about it, but for me it's normal to take my dog with me to pretty much everywhere
The only time I have seen a problem with a dog in a restaurant was when the dog just wouldn't behave (barking, walking around, jumping). But even then, the people were asked to rather sit outside on a table further away from others so to not disturb other guests. Never seen anybody being denied service because of their dog lol
you dont even know theyre there *unless you are allergic* which is why I really don't like seeing dogs inside anywhere, it ruins the possibilities for a lot of people
@@alexa4194 most of the time its not dogs that disturb your eating its the kids
@@evilmessiah81 I'm allergic to those too...
in smaller local restaurants in small towns it is totally common to ask if you can join a table if no other table is open. I think in the city or in ritzy places you would not do that and wait for the waiter to seat you. Stammtisch is always off limits for self seating. in fancy restaurants you would not have a "table for the regulars". But they may have a "reserviert" sign. So even if you seat yourself you should not get in trouble.
Oh, and, yes, i usually chat with the unknown people i am seated with, just to make sure it is not awkward.
I think it would be awesome if you made a livestream where you react to german stuff, so we could explain certain things to you or you could like have idk some german channel that looks at this stuff with you and is able to explain questions you have to youu, just a thought
I would join.
Yeah
Genau 😄
Exactly
Great idea :)
You don't have to wait until seated (only in very fancy restaurants). You can see which tables are reserved by little cards on it with the text "Reserviert" or "Stammtisch".
The Lady orders first may sometimes still happen, but in general the waiter starts at one end of the table und continued just in a row.
@GeorgDuma Totally anachronistic. Equality also means overcoming these senseless (sometimes offensive) polite phrases of Biedermeyer. I like to help a woman when I can do something better or she asks me, not because she was born feminine. Ultimately, however, nowadays only sporadically desired by the female sex.
If it's my girlfriend, I let her order first. If it's my mother I order first. My mother hesitates too long for her choice.
The one rule I had never heard of before (I grew up in Bavaria):
- Order in which to order: Oldest lady to youngest man.
Everything else: The more formal the restaurant is (if it has linen cloth table cloths and linen cloth napkins it is usually a very nice restaurant - and the prices are also an indicator) the more rules I follow 😅
The "elbows off the table and eat with both your knive and your fork" rule I follow in any restaurant though, because my mother taught it to me so strictly 😅🙈
Yes, my German husband would be the old lady in this family
"ladies first" and so the order in which to order is of course from the oldest lady to the youngest man and of course you can do it differently if you have agreed it beforehand ...
a gentleman always lets the ladies at the table order first, the ladies are of course served first and they start eating first when everyone has their dishes ... that's how I learned it from my parents and especially from my father and so far in my life all the ladies appreciated that very much, it has to do with politeness, good manners and respect ... and yes, I can also observe that all this is unfortunately getting lost more and more and the women seem to accept it because they do experience it less and less, and yes, maybe they don’t value it themselves anymore, for whatever reason ... but what can you expect when even in a restaurant the smartphones are always ready to hand on the table instead of leaving them switched off in the pocket as only one aspect of many others ... you're already sitting at the table with your family, friends or a loved one, so who do you want to communicate with on your smartphone then?
About the order in which is ordered. It always has to do with the setting and the hierarchies in the group.
When you have decided to go somewhere together it is more polite to order ladies first and by age. In not formal settings you often start with the oldest women and then order in turn as you are seated, for it is easier for the waiter to follow and get whether someone has still not ordered.
In cases where one person has decided on the restaurant and no-one else has ever been there the "host" of the group mostly closes the order or begins when people are too intimidated by maybe pronounciating the dishes names wrong.
But we do not really think about it that much. It all depends on your upbringing to subconsciously follow these supple rules and instinctively know what to follow as a group.
I actually had to think really hard to find examples and differences because we do not realy think about it much, we just act like that when you had a "good old German" upbringing with the "knigge" (an actual book about manners that most do not even own anymore but know the most important parts of and teach their kids (like that you do not cut a potato with a knife but part it with your fork...)).
😂 ich komme auch aus Bayern und frage mich grade, ob wir zu Deutschland gehören oder diese Frau noch nie hier war😂
Yeah this was strange for me too. Usually you order one by one around the table. Either starting at the end, or with the person who invited everyone (you don't want to order something significantly more expensive than them).
Regarding tipping: tipping isn't necessary but you should do it if you liked the service. Common amounts are either rounding up to the next sum divisible by five (33€->35€) or 10%.
my reason for tipping is, because I don't like too much small change
you use the knife also to push food onto your fork- that helps a lot especially when eating slippery food like salats 😅
and the last rule of the paralell cutlery is there to nonverbally signal the waiting staff that you are done eating (which is especially helpful when you dont eat your whole portion but are done anyway. placing your cutlery this way will let the waiters know that you won’t continue to eat n they can clear you dish)
Yes, table etiquette is being teach by the parents and also starts in Kindergarten. Thats why most of the Kindergarten have a breakfast together once a week. It’s so funny hearing you almost collaps by this rules 😅. But it’s really good and essential to know them. At first, you know how to move, behave in all kind of situations and it also boost your confidence.
By the way, our napkins here, even the paper ones are thick and large so that you can easily put it on (the right side) your lap. And even me, when I leave the table, I put my napkin on the side of my plate. I’d never put it on my seat, where everyone already sat there!
And when you leave your meal, but you still want to continue eating, you put your cutlery left (fork) and right on your plate, it’s a signe for the waiter, I’m not done yet. When you finished your meal (even though there is still food on the plate) thats where you put your cutlery on the right side, on your plate, in a parallel position.
By the way, my parents teached me, if you didn’t like the food, you put the cutlery (also parallel) to the left side.
And yes we have coat racks (every restaurant has it, even the smallest pizzeria has one) and it’s a polite way to tell the other costumers, no, I’m not disturbing you with my coat.
But it’s nice that your eager to learn things (even the strange ones) about Germany!🎉
9:47 in Germany soda is served fresh out of a bottle so they just put the bottle in the fridge and give it to you it’s not like a soda machine we’re you can take as much as you want also the bottles are left on the table like in a bar or almost every restaurant thinks you are a bad guy
I'm impressed. Angela quit her office job to make videos. She also found an aristocrat who is over 90 and from southern Germany to teach her restaurant etiquette.
I'm from North Germany and have never heard or seen the word "Stammtisch" in a restaurant. Only in bars.
Stammtische are very rare. You can see this sometimes in small towns with very old German restaurants.
@@MrBirmchen not in the south, and definitely not in the country side. Stammtisch is absolutely a thing there. you go to church, and then straight across the street to your local restaurant.
If you dont really need a Knife to cut the Food you also can take that as a helping Tool, like a Spatula, to fill your Fork or tidy up your Plate. A Salat for example has often a raw leafy Character. With two Tools, Fork and Knife, its a lot easier to fold the Leaves to a Portion fits into your Mouth without looking weird or dropping all the sauce over the Place.
The knife is used to scoot the food on the fork. That reduces the amount of movement needed when trying to scoop up peas 😃
The cutlery in parallel on the plate pointing to like 5 o'clock is usually a sign for the waiter that you're done and the plate could be picked up. That's handy since most of the waiters will only check on you every once in a while. And so they can devise form a distance whether it's OK to clean up the table.
Again very funny and in the same time so interesting to reflect my own culture by looking into it from another perspective. By the way: In every good restaurant the meals for the members of a group will be served in the same time. An exception could be if some ordered a starter and others did not. Then the main course will be served for all together.
Drinks are mostly stored as bottles in a fridge but if there is a bar element there can be beer on tap and if it is a high volume restaurant (a beer garden usually would be), they might be soda on tap as well. But as with beer, the Container/keg would be cooled as well.
People very rarely put ice into beer despite preferring beer to be cold, so you can have cold drinks without ice. There certainly are exceptions, but I’d say you generally only see ice cubes in cocktails in Germany.
14:50 the angle your cutlery is placed has a meaning. Parallel (to itself) means you are done with the plate. If the tips of your cutlery intersect and form a cross (the knife lying in the bent and over the spikes of the fork) means you are not done with the plate but you need to put down the cutlery for something like going to the toilet or something. Otherwise like she mentioned we usually keep the cutlery in our hands or placed back on the table (straight next to the plate where it will be placed initially). Nobody really does the napkin thing so it's more common to place the napkin folded flat at the place where the cutlery was initially (and then the cutlery placed ontop in the case where you place the cutlery on the table).
sharing a table is normal at a Biergarten or events but not in restaurants.
"bad" service is not just because of tips. We germans just don't like to be interrupted. A good waiter is always visible and react to a small wink with your hand if you need a refill or want to order something.
Once you pick up fork and knife they do not go back on the table. if you need to set them down, set them on the plate till you are through with the dish. Next dish will have its own set of silverware.
The "coat not on the chair" thing was more of a practical thing where I worked as a waiter. with the purse dangling at your hip it was a nuisance to walk through the full room and getting stuck at almost every friggin chair
You use the knife for a salad and other things, because it can help to put the food on the fork. You push it with the knife on the fork
Must admit Ryan, my German wife and I have very similar dining etiquette, as have our sons which are of a similar age to yourself?
I have often dined with Americans in the past and although nice people, many have the eating habits of a toddler!
Haha - relax, Ryan. Simply don't behave like you came straight out of a cave and you'll be fine. If a place really should require those very formal rules, you'll know from the first second you enter one of these restaurants. Don't panic and just enjoy some delicious german food - Greetings from Germany 👋👋
The one with the cutlery is quite simple:
Parallel, as seen on the picture, let’s the waiter/waitress know that you are done.
A triangle means you are taking a break and a wedge means you want more/ want to order something.
Some of these are definetly over the top but some of them are also definetly a thing where I live. When I go out eating with my family hats definetly have to come off, elbows stay off the table and you are expected to eat with both your fork and your knive. Yes you don't technically need your knive for a lot of foods but its still actually convenient and less messy to use it if you learned to do it.
And the way you place your cuttlery on your plate is a nice way to let the waiter know whether you are finished or not. If they are on opposite sites of the plate, that means you are not done eating yet. When you put them parallel to each other on one side it means you are done and the waiter is free to take your plate.
As a German I can tell you that someone being in close proximity to me, be it in a restaurant or else where does by far not mean I have to talk or socialize with them :) I'm totally fine just coexisting next to each other for a couple minutes or hours :).
As for the ice issue: we dont have any "soda machines" outside of maybe mcdonalds and yes there it is constantly cooled. Restaurants have bottled beverages at the bar which are constantly cooled. For ice most restaurant have some of it lying around in the freezer but it isnt really much so they only put it in when u specifically want your drink with ice. It stays cool just fine without it too tho and many germans prefer no ice as it makes the drink more "watery"
The etiquette she’s describing is more for restaurants of a high lever. Not so much for a “normal” restaurant for “normal” people. 😜
Thats not really true I mean yes partially but especially the hat, having knife and fork in the hand at the same time, the ellbow thing,... are ment to be followed in most places and I think are not that hard to do
Would not say that it is only about elegant restaurants but that the rules are more common for southern Germany or the more rural area.
but was once common, when I was a child in the 80s ... it was also at the Greek an "event" to go eat and even then my parents have behaved so ... could one today also times again introduce in my opinion (good behavior has nothing to do with whether you are well off or not ;-) )
war aber früher mal gang und gebe, als ich in den 80ern Kind war .. war es auch beim Griechen ein "event" essen zu gehen und selbst da haben meine Eltern sich so benommen ... könnte man heute auch mal wieder einführen mMn ( Gutes Benehmen hat nichts damit zu tun ob man gut situiert ist oder nicht ;-) )
Absolutely my opinion...my mom was very strict with rules at the table (how to hold cutlery, starting together, leaving the table, when everybody finished the meal, except at restaurants where it can happen, that not everybody gets the food at the same time) BUT she never had so many rules...ok, no elbows on the tables an no feet on chairs was really important...
@@natsudragneel2640 of course some of the rules are meant in general. But i.e. the order to order (oldest lady first, youngest gentleman last) is more for restaurants of higher tiers.
Actually in most cases when you order a bottle of water the waiter will ask if you'd prefer sparkling or still. Both is common.
My family always orders both. And we pretty much ask to keep them coming. Even though every bottle costs 7€ 😭
These rules are some kind of oldfashioned??? I have never heard of the oldest woman starts ordering...how could the server know who is the oldest...we always order the way we are sitting...ice machines do exist! But it depends on the restaurant, the drinks are cool, but not as cold as the drinks in the US. Normally you do not put paper napkins onto your lap. These rules seem to work for high end restaurants where I would never put a foot into... 😅
Also the thing with the cutlery is a rule which is reeeeaaaally old. It doesn't really apply to everyday life. If you put your wallet on the table, normally the server knows that you have finished your meal and want to pay.
No tip is really rude, so around 10 % is normal as a tip in my region.
These rules sound like first edition knigge (guide for etiquette) from the year 1788...
if you dont need the knife for cutting, its often used to scoop things onto your fork. youre not gonna hold the knife while eating a soup though, its more of a once you pick it up you use till you put everything down
edit: also, yes the cutlery needs to be parrallel at 20 past (like on the clock), since that means youre done. if you put it in different positions (fe at either side on the plate) it means different things like im not done, im just taking a break
The cutlery thing is that they have specific meanings.
cutlery parallel together (as shown in the vid, can be 45° or 90°) means "i'm finished",
separated at 90° has multiple meaings. its easier with symbols:
/ \ "taking a break"
/\ "did not like"
X "some more please"
there are some more but these are the common ones.
Actually, all of that is not true. It's a common myth though.
The parallel fork to the knife usually means that you finished eating. If the fork and the knife are not parallel usually means you are still hungry / still want to eat something.
Greetings and good morning from Bremen, North Germany...
Always good to have a coffee and a new video from Ryan... a good start of the day. ;)
The knife is used to push the food onto the fork.
Faszinierend. 10 von 15 Regeln habe ich noch nie in "normalen" Restaurants erlebt. Ich arbeite noch dazu in der Gastronomie😂
Ja, wir lieben effizientes arbeiten und da hilft es wenn der Gast schon beim Speisekarte überreichen weiß was er trinken möchte damit diese serviert werden können während der Gast die Karte liest.
Nummer 5 macht mich nur etwas wütend. Die meisten Restaurants haben einfach zu wenig Kellner. Kellner die kommen wann sie wollen findet man nicht in durchschnittlichen Restaurants.
Ich hoffe TH-cam übersetzt das für mich.😅
Komm einfach nach Süddeutschland in ein normales Restaurant. 20% Trinkgeld, Hunger, Durst und gute Laune, dann sind wir Gastronomen glücklich.😊
Learned the basics from my parents. The more formal behaviour (like how to place your napkin, what forks and spoons to use and other social cues) I learned in dancing school.
Ryan, European waiters are trained professionals. The price of the dinner includes the service charge. You do not tip; unless you want to leave the small change after paying the bill in cash.
They are taught to make a Steak Diane / Crepes Suzette / filet a fish and carefully place the fillets on the serving plate, or build you a steak tartar at your table. They also will wait till you give them a discrete nod to refill your wine glasses. In upper class restaurants YOU NEVER WEAR A HAT. That would show everyone that you have had a very poor upbringing and have no manners.
The professional waiter in Europe will not joyfully greet you and tell you "Hi my name is Harry and I'll be your waiter this evening", or continuously interrupt your table conversation by asking you "Is everything alright?". You also do not start a conversation with your waiter.
The table in a good restaurant is yours for the evening. Nobody is going to try and rush you, by bringing you the bill, so that they can rent the table again. If you want to leave, give the waiter a discrete nod and he'll bring the bill. The waiters are lifetime professionals, not college students, or actors between jobs trying to make a buck. Many good European restaurants a small. Seating may be close to the neighbor table. Do not listen to their conversation, and don't engage them in conversation. That is very bad manners. They are at their table; you are at your table. Just imagine that there is an invisible wall between adjoining tables.
As a german i really appreciate your videos
the fork and knife use in the US, where you cut up all your food at once into forkable bites is what we do in Germany for children that can't eat with fork and knife yet. So if you eat like that in Germany, you parents will look at you and wonder if they failed you in some way when they raised you. Obviously you do not need to hold a knife in your hand for dishes that don't require a fork. However, the way the knife is used in germany is to use the knife to corral your peas and other items that won't cooperate with the fork. I myself still eat the german way here in the US, even after 25 years of living here.
as a german
i rarely saw someone hanging their coat or jacket on a coathanger
most people place them next to themselfs or under the table if they also have a bag
in general many of those rules i never heard of
Not if you are going to a restaurant. We always hang or jackets etc away. If it's a little café or a bar, you can keep your jacket with you.
Most rules are considered common knowledge or manners. It's not expected since some people aren't taught by their parents but at a certain age one should look up what the etiquette for restaurants is.
@@BlueFlash215 what i meant more is that many of those rules are either not followed at all by a lot of people i observe or are just basic human decency
like the cutlery thing is basic for me for many reasons, same with the elbow of the table and hands on.
same with the "wait to be seated" but only for first time visits, because every restaurant may have different customs. unless it's a super fancy place obviously
but i never heard about the napkin stuff to be a common thing in general but again only as a fancy place custom, where that should be obvious.
@Ryan Wass 6:50 hi Ryan, waiters don't work for your tip, they are employees of the restaurant owner or the owner himselve serves the meals and drinks. Here in Europe you are the guest in his (the owners) guesthouse. So be polite to the waiters (owners) and they are polite to you too. I hope you understand.
Ryan am Morgen vertreibt Kummer und sorgen
Mir gehts genau so
In most restaurants reserved tables are marked by a sign on the table which states the time the reservation comes into effect. If it is say about 2 hours away and there is no place setting yet, you could ask if you can use that table. A Stammtisch is also marked as such; it is usually reserved for a club or a circle of friends which meet regularly at that table. If the restaurant is full, you could ask to be seated there if no meeting is scheduled for the next few hours.
Higher class restaurants mostly expect you to wait to be seated. "Normal" restaurants allow you to choose your table yourself, but it is polite to ask the innkeeper or a waiter if the chosen table is free. Sometimes they'll ask you if you expect more guests and seat you at a table of appropriate size.
Most restaurants have coat racks, and in any better restaurant you are expected to use it, at least if you wearing a heavy coat or a wet raincoat.
There are different kinds of restaurants: the more communicative and traditional sort like in the image at 5:17, where you sit near to other patrons and sometimes even share a table (and that is also the type of restaurant in which Germans are accustomed to socialize, at least at dinnertime) - even more so in the kind of restaurant which is at the same time used in a more pub-like fashion -, and the more "high-end" gastronomy with a lot of space between tables.
In a traditional restaurant there is no king - neither you nor the waiter. The waiter is however the host (or their deputy), and you are a guest - not a customer in the traditional sense. And you are expected to be respectful to your host, if you expect to be treated with any respect yourself. Another point: most Germans also don't like servility, so being overfriendly will not earn you more tipps as a waiter. And if a waiter can not wait until you call them, but always comes and asks if they can bring something, interrupting your meal or your talk with your friends, Germans will often get the impression to be unwelcome, asking themselves: Do they want me to pay and go, so they can give the table to the next customer?
In my experience most restaurants will nowadays serve tap water, at least if you also order some other drink (wine, beer, coffee, whatever). But some will you charge with a cover charge (for pitcher and glass). However that is not necessarily true for such restaurants which operate mainly as a pub, because they make most of their money by selling beverage, not food.
Not looking in the eyes while toasting means a very specific kind of bad luck (7 years of bad s..) - it's (mostly) a joke.
Ice in the drink is simply not common in Germany (except in a cocktail bar). Bottles for drinks which are supposed to be served cool are in a refrigerator; tap equipment is also cooled (in former times by ice blocks, but nowadays electrically). But a refrigerator is no freezer, and restaurant refrigerators don't come with freezer compartments. Most restaurants will have dedicated freezers back in a room adjacent to the kitchen, but not in the guest area or behind the bar. You can get ice cubes (sometimes even crushed ice) for your drink, but often the waiters will puzzled by such a request, and it will take some time.
French and mediterranean cousine usually has multiple courses for dinner - a menu of the day in a traditional French restaurant has usually at least 3 courses, but in a traditional German restaurant you would nowadays have to order the courses separately. Some meals however come with an extra salad which is served in front before the main course. And before WW II it was still the rule to get at least a soup before the main course.
The most rules she mentions sound a bit old-fashioned, but if you're invited by your boss into a "high-end" restaurant, you better follow them (except putting your napkin on the seat of your chair if you go to the bathroom - you put it either on the armrest or the back (if there is no armchair) or - even better - at the left side of your plate). If you on the other hand eat in one of the "more communicative" traditional restaurants you could earn some amazed glances if you e.g. put the napkin at your lap (especially if it is a paper napkin which is too lightweight to stay in your lap). As long as you do not put into your collar (like a baby napkin), all is well. (13:00 it is a paper napkin, which stays always on the table.)
The knife is mostly not used to cut, but as a supporting instrument for the fork. If eating pasta, you'll get sometimes also a spoon, but you'll only put the food with the fork to your mouth, the spoon or knife is only there to help you to get the food on the fork.
If the cutlery lies parallel to each other on the plate, it signals you have finished. If they lie in an angle to each other (more than 45° and less than 90°) it could mean you wait for more (even if in most restaurants there is no second helping, it would be a signal to the waiter you want to keep your plate before you).
About the waiter/waitress thing as I see it:
I’ve only encountered quite nice waiters/waitresses at the very least, most have been absolutely lovely! We treat them like normal people with respect and they get paid completely normally so they don’t live off tips. Usually, if there’s something you’d like, we just raise a hand when they’re nearby and they’ll come over when they don’t have their hands full of dishes.
The ordering order:
In my family we just order around in a Circle from the person who starts.
We sometimes have very small starters, but almost never take deserts. Of course we have an main though :)
I myself don’t put my napkin in my lap because it’s annoying. We all use them to wipe our hands though!
To the hygiene part you mentioned:
We just view it as more polite to keep hands and elbows as mentioned and the waiters/waitresses always wipe the tables down. When we put the cutlery down, we just place it on the dishes’ edges.
TLDR: my family doesn’t take it all that seriously - we just make sure we mind our manners and don’t eat like pigs
Wohin mit der Serviette, wenn Sie während des Essens aufstehen?
Seit einiger Zeit mehren sich Veröffentlichungen, in denen zum Ablegen der Serviette während des Essens Folgendes empfohlen wird: Legen Sie Ihre Serviette auf den Stuhl/auf der Stuhllehne ab, falls Sie - etwa bei einem Buffet - während des Essens den Tisch verlassen wollen. Das ist eine Sitte aus den USA, die in Deutschland nicht gilt!
Der deutsche „Parkplatz“ für die Serviette während einer Unterbrechung des Essens ist nach wie vor links neben dem Gedeck.
Das wäre sehr unhygienisch, die halbdreckige Serviette auf das Stuhlpolster zu legen.
I disagree with #1: You usually seat yourself. Just watch for signs on the table saying "Stammtisch" or "Reserviert" and avoid using them. But if you are a larger group, you often call and explicitly reserve a table and then you wait to be seated at the table that is "reserviert" for you.
Agreed. I only came along one restaurant where it is mandatory to wait till you are seated.
But when you have reserved, then you should ask, where that table is also ask to get seates.
When you go to a restaurant you haven't been before you almost always wait to be seated. If you are regular and know the drill you can sit down depending on the restaurant.
I disagree with your disagree. The only restaurants I've ever seen where I didn't have to be seated were the places in various different party districts. Where people are overflowing at every corner of the street and waiting to be seated is just no feasible. Except for those, every single restaurant I've ever been to had "wait to be seated" as a rule. And those were not some high class establishments. Most of them weren't even middle class establishments.
And I don't count fast food joints as restaurants.
Edit: Just shows that different parts of germany seem to have different rules in that regard as well.
Actually „wait to be seated“ is an American influence on Germany, you used to be free to enter a restaurant and just sit at any table.
These are all rules my grandparents engrained into my brain.... The napkin one is kind of silly, haven't followed that one often....
You constantly hold knives and forks even when not cutting meat to shove things onto your fork ... Makes it easier and you can get more stuff on your fork 😋
true, ive only used the napkin very rarely, and only in specific restaurants but tbh in a normal environment you dont even need to know about the napkin rule for example
A napkin on a lap is a pretty normal thing in a restaurant, it is not formal at all
😊
In most restaurants you do not wait to be seated, just choose the table you like. Only in very fancy restaurants you will be guided to a table. If you have reserved a table in advance you should ask which one is yours. If there are any tables that are reserved, there will be a sign "reserviert ab xxx" (xxx= time when the table is reserved for other people. You can use it, if you think you will be finished in time.
It also depends how full the restaurant is (and how large it is). If it is mostly empty, there is little harm in choosing your own table (of course look out for ‘Reserviert’ or ‘Stammtisch’ signs). If it looks pretty full, you’d more likely approach a waiter and ask if they they have space for x persons, as the waiter might often know where there is still free space, in particular if there several rooms you cannot easily see all for areas yourself. Additionally, the waitstaff might know that one table would become available in short time. And finally, if the staff approaches you as you enter the restaurant and greets you, you of course ask them to seat you.
What I have not seen in Germany yet is a permanent greeter behind a podium at the entrance (but maybe some really posh places have them).
In Chinese restaurants they usually show you your table or ask you to choose one in a certain area.
0:40 not entirely. In some cultures, burping and such means that you enjoyed the meal, whereas being quiet about it means you didn’t.
Hallo there Ryan! First,congratulations!!!! You're way over 50K subscribers.👏👏👏 Keep going! Next is, when you're dining out for business meetings,weddings, big party celebrations like 50th or 90th,(round birthdays usually),official inaugurations, dining out in 5 Star restaurants/hotels,these etiquettes are common. Children are taught at an early age and grew up with this upbringing so it's kind of self understood. But don't worry,nobody would care if you miss one or two,unless you're sitting with old generations,they do still mind. 🤭
No offense intended,McDonald's, Burger King,Kfc and the like are not that restaurants she's talking here. We just call McDonalds, etc. Fastfoods. 😇
I'm a German and i never heard of the "Stammtisch" before.
Children learn to eat with a knife and a fork as early as kindergarten. In restaurants or at formal/official occasions/meetings it's common to eat this way. At home, everyone eats the way they feel comfortable. At home, I eat my salad or pasta with just a fork. But in restaurant with a knife and fork. It's not a big deal because, as I said, you learn it in kindergarten.
Knigge says: salad is eaten with a fork.
As a german, i have to disagree on some points.
- I never leave my coat or jacket anywhere. Most places even have a sign telling that they won't be responsible for any theft or loss.
- Most places will serve you drinks with ice if you ask for it.
- Only the higher tier restaurants expect you to wait to be seated, from my expirience.
- I have never done the napkin thing. Never once.
- Restaurants usually have prepared sets of cutlery. They get wrapped in a napkin and the server just brings you one bundle. So you always get fork, spoon and knife.
- When eating salad, the knife is just for pushing stuff onto the fork
- The position of the cutlery is a sign to the waiter. If you put your cutlery on the plate at a 90° angle to each other, that means "i will still eat that". If you put them in parallel, it means "i'm done with this".
- About Tips: You have to keep in mind that waiters earn at least minimum wage here, unlike the US. Any tip you give is on top of that, but the waiter doesn't depend on it for a living. So if you are really dissatisfied, it is perfectly fine to not tip. Also, most germans still pay cash. So usually, when i get my bill, i just round that up to the next full bill and say "stimmt so" when handing it over.
Waiting to be seated is not necessary in general, pick and choose your own table is quite normal. But asking for a table is ok.
She sure is a great funny entertainer. Because nothing what she said is true. I’m a German and ever lived in Germany . You can order ice cream, but you don’t get 3/4 ice and 1/4 coke. I really have no idea where she was for having dinner. I’m sure it wasn’t a restaurant. Maybe a MC Donald’s Restaurant? I never heard about a doggy bag in Germany. And no one must give a tip . We give a tip if we were happy with the eat, drink and service. And yes, here we ask for the bill because our service personal is so polite to wait for your wish to pay. Here in Germany we have the bad feel if the waiter comes with the bill he wish that we go and he maybe need a free table again.
About the tables being close to each other: You definitely are not expected to talk to your table neighbors, that would be weird. Maybe it's the American in you who thinks it would be strange not to talk to them, but it's completely normal to just mind your own business even when you have people right next to you. Although I do prefer to have an empty table next to me.
@Ryan Wass hi Ryan, McDonald KFC, Burger King call the fast food room a restaurant. A european restaurant differs a lot to fast foods, for example you find hooks for your jacket and a super clean toilet and many other things McDonald and the others have never heard of ...
In most restaurants, it's not that strict. Only the classical ones are stricter with some rules. Most restaurants are available without booking a table. The booked tables will have a place card on them which says "reserviert" (engl.: reserved/booked). You're not allowed to sit at these tables. You'd have to talk to a waiter first, anyway. They'll show you available tables. You also are allowed to put your jacket over your chair, if the restaurant doesn't have a jacket rack ... The rules when eating are called Knigge. A guy by the name of Adolph Knigge invented them in the late 18th century. Most of the Knigge rules are a bit over the top, but some are still used today, but you'll learn them from your parents at home anyway
being more polite than necessary is better than being less polite than necessary.
Also, don't leave the table unless everyone finished his meal (unless you're going to the toilet or want to take a short step outside to get some fresh air or smoke). Should be common sense at a restaurant, but also at home.
Dear Ryan, stay cool. Things are much easier than explained. First: Fast food is no restaurant, you can do whatever you like. And for "real" restaurants: Please, don't place the napkin on the chair, just put it next to your plate. In most parts of Germany you take you coat to the place; in the east you place it usually at the wardrobe. Or just take a look what the others did do, that will answer the question fine. And usually everyone at a table should get the meals at the same time. If not, reduce the tip. And of course the waiter is not the king. Anyway, you do wait for the waiter, but a good waiter/waitress just is around at the right time.
Most of those "rules" are rather formal ones, means if you go to a "normal" (not posh) restaurant they are not imperative - however taking off your hat (especially as a guy) when you enter a room (and not only a restaurant but any inside room) still is goes as good manners. Also, sharing a table with strangers does NOT force you to talk to them - maybe that´s a cultural difference. Sure it is polite to greet and bid farwell to the person sitting next to you but it is not required that you engage in some random conversation just for the sake of sitting close to each other.
This feels more like someone read some antiquated book about table manners than someone that actually goes to restaurants with their friends. No one here cares about the majority of the things claimed in this video.
The German Dining Etiquette is really situation dependent.
Some of the mentionend rules are important for every restaurant (not Mc Donalds/Burger King/...):
1) Let the oldest woman order first (It is common but usually you just let women order first. This really depends on the group you are having around you)
2) Keeping eye contact while toasting
3) Hands on the table, elbows of the table
4) Eating with knive and fork (as you asked: you will push (don´t know if push is the right word for it) the salad with your knive on your fork so you will use the fork horizontal and not perpendicular)
5) laying your cutlery down in a 45° angle when you finished eating (this is really important because this angle shows not only that you are finished (even if there is something left on your table) but also that you enjoyed your food)
6) Giving 10% tip
Others are important for restaurants of higher level or for dining with "special people" (like your boss/ people you do not know that good/...)
1) Waiting to be placed (this really depends on the restaurant!)
2) Taking your hat off
3) Hang your coat
4) putting the napkin on your lap
Some little corrections:
"Stammtische" are less common in real restaurants than in beergardens or at bars. You will probably only find them in traditional german (often bavarian) restaurants.
Sharing a table is not common in Germany. The tables are pretty close to each other because many restaurants, especially in cities, don´t have that much space. In restaurants of higher level they won´t be that close to each other.
The waiter or the waitress is not the "king" in Germany. They do their best to treat you as good as possible but many restaurants do not have enough staff, especially since Covid. As many Germans know this fact, they usually try to treat the waiter or waitresses as good as possible and they try to make their job as easy as possible.
You will get tap water in many restaurants but it will usually cost some money. Some restaurants deny giving tap water because they are worried about their reputation or something like that.
The sizes of the portions vary from restaurant to restaurant. You will get smaller portions at restaurants of higher level.
In restaurants of a really high level you schouldn´t ask for a doggy bag.
I think this is the most helpful comment!! 👍
Who actually does the "let the oldest woman order first" thing though? I've never heard of that rule before, and have never seen it done either. Neither in casual family dinners, to family functions, to more high class dinners, etc. Could that be regional?
@@prnzssLuna
Could be regional. I know it from my family from the east of Nordrhein-Westfalen.
@@prnzssLuna no, it's to show respect for the older generation or the host if someone invites you, but it depends on the occasion and circumstances. If you go to a restaurant to celebrate grandma's birthday, of course the birthday girl orders first. When you're out with friends, that have young children with them, it's common to order food for the hungry kids (since they have a smaller stomachs and are not good with not eating for 4-6hours) and maybe just drinks for the adults, until the adults are ready to order. If you are out with your friends it doesn't matter.
@@Lola-xs3tc Well I'm from lower bavaria, and we certainly don't do that here. Good to know though
In german resturants only beer comes from the tap.
Soft drinks come from a bottle!
Nobody here uses the soda taps that mix syrup and water, we get the stuff you buy at a store..
and the bottle are stored in a fridge
In most restaurants in Germany, you chose your own table. Waiting to be seated by staff basically only happens in high class restaurants. What you have to consider is that very popular restaurants will during certain times (in the evening) be fully booked. While you will chose your own table at the same restaurant say in the afternoon, you will not be able to get a free table without prior reservation at the same restaurant in the evening.
Nah, mate, you're just being rude...
"Soda machines".... huh? You take the bottle out of the fridge and pour the glass
I get more and more the feeling that this woman never was in a German restaurant. I can not relate to nearly everything she said. Very strange.
FYI usually they have ice for drinks, but at most you get 1-2 pieces or have to ask for it. The beverage will be cold from the start and since sizes rarely come to or execeed 500mL /16f.ounces its wont get to warm till you finish (300ml/10f.ounces is most common)
Austrian here. We learn these manners from our parents when we are little children so they become almost automatisms and later in our lives we don't have to think about them any longer as we behave according to etiquette because it has become second nature to us.
And yes, of course you put your hat and coat to the clothes rack before you get seated and don't use the place at your side as a storage.
But at a lot of places the staff will take your streetwear, when you enter, and put it in the cloakroom anyways.
I'm Swedish and agree 100%
O yes! Just as you mention it: I remember that from my childhood. But in Germany it disappeared long time ago. First, the waiter disappeared, then the husband helps his wife and both the kids out of their coats. And meanwhile, I am used to hang my things over my chair, after twice my and once my father's coat had disappeared and only a similar coat was there ... Some people just can't see the difference of two coats of same colour.
I actually never heard of that "The oldest women orders first" thing 🤔
Ryan it is time to have a visit to Germany. I have no clue where she come from or which restaurant she goes to. But it sounds like as if I would go in the 70 to a German restaurant. I really like your channel, it makes me always smile. It is nice to see your reaction to the topics. An actually visit to Germany would be a complete different and more complex experience. Keep it up all the best, Greets Frank from Hamburg
7:35 I never heard about that rule. Usually some person starts to order, likely the person closest to the waiter, and then everybody else orders in a row, similar to when playing a board game.
Hey Ryan, as a fellow German guy I am really enjoying your content. Maybe you could check out one of our biggest Television culture named "Berndt das Brot". After the television program ended, it was shown through the whole night on a loop, and it's quite entertaining. Feel free to check out the subtitled version, one episode is called
"Berndt das Brot- Nerdparty- Englisch" subtitle"
As a German that's way over the top and I've never seen anybody actually do most of that