is there ever a time frame or situation that you suggest reaching out to them after a break up? Say you personally healed and you're ready to start moving on but want to see if they are still available or something along those lines?
What percentage of women leave you for someone else? My ex gf was very academic focused, and she was single for 6 months before meeting me after her first ever relationship which lasted about 6 months. Our relationship lasted about a year, and I asked if she met someone else, and she was adamant that she just wanted to be single. It makes me crazy thinking about her with someone else, because we had no issues in that department or in regard to physical attraction. Her issue with me was money related, as her family is rich and Jewish. She thought I wouldn’t be successful enough for her, which honestly was so demeaning that idk why I even want her back. SMH idk anymore. I’m so lost.
Thank you Craig. One month since breakup of two and a half year relationship and started no contact immediately at that time because I found your channel. Watching videos daily to make sense of why the breakup happened and cope with separation anxiety. Working on myself and getting my life back on track. I don't know how I would be getting through this without you, Victoria and of course Margaret ( wishing she was still here). Thank you for everything you do. There is definitely some bad advice out there, and I'm glad I found you before I made any of the post breakup mistakes.
It's crazy how they act selfish and cruel by blindsiding you with the breakup then wonder why you call and text many times. It's like wtf is going on? I got too anxious and needy if you will but she also did this while my business partner sabotaged and shut the business down. I was out of work, needed a place to move and store all my tools, etc and bam! Hits me with this right after my first ever anxiety/panic attack. Already weakened and trying to regain footing and boom hit again. So while i feel bad for calling too much or freaking out, it was also immature how she did it. That still hurts and could be why she cant meet in person yet- probably feels a lot of shame/guilt. But instead of trying to work through it, she's running away. Staying in no conctact just to get myself centered.
He knows I'm really sick - dealing with a major health problem- and he hasn't checked on me once, despite saying he wants to be there for me and help me out during our last conversation. It hurts so much and really feels like he doesn't care, when I know the reality is he's probably just being eaten up by the guilt of leaving me.
Then he really isn't worth it. Or they are just too ashamed (of they have any true feelings), let them be and focus on your health and yourself. It's tough. I'm going through that thing, too. Love yourself first. Love and light 🙏🧡
@@adrij4961 i agree that there might often still be some attachment and emotion when the blocking stuff happens. The point is though: These emotions *can* be positive, but they can also be so negative that blocking is just "stay away from me forever!" .
If you are the dumper.. I think she blocked you because she doesn't want to have anything to do with you anymore. It's over forever. When a lady has already moved on, sorry its too late.. She won't turn back to you. Enough is enough.. Bye forever. However if God fated that both of you will be together at the end no one can stop it.
I wish he cared. He dumped me only 2 weeks after we lost our child in the 23 rd pregnancy week 7 weeks ago and I had to give birth to our little angel. Two days before the break up he still said, he loved me like he did on the very first day and that we would manage this trauma situation together. But when he broke up he said, he lost his feelings for me with our child and he doesn't even miss me when I am not with him. He wished me all the best, but he doesn't love me anymore and doesn't want a relationship with me. With our childloss a new chapter in his life started and it doesn't include me. I feel empty but try to be strong and brave, I lost my child an my partner within 2 weeks and I didn't had the chance to work on it or grieve although I tried to give him a good feeling after our loss, tried to give him the space he needed although I really needed a shoulder to cry on. I can't imagine how you can leave the "love of your life" in such a situation. Since the break up 5 weeks ago, he didn't reach out to ask how I am physically or mentally. He made new social media accounts, of course without adding me and is posting more frequently than ever before. I went into no contact the day after the break up... Maybe one day he realises what he did to me and what he lost... He lost a girlfriend who fought for him although she lost her baby and loved him with all she had... But I only lost a man who is able to leave me in the most traumatic situation a woman has to go through.
Thats low. Only sensible conclusion I reach is that he lost his feeling some time ago but stuck with it because of the pregnancy. But then saying he loves you and probably doing activities/romance before and during pregnancy is very low class. If a person has doubt they should figure it out and discuss it with the other one, rather than dragging it out and leaving the other person in the dark. Not cool at all.
@@lucri988 well the thing is, until break up day he told me daily how much he loved me and that he would never leave me alone. I know that such a trauma situation can affect feelings. But to break up only 12 days after your girlfriend has to give birth to your child because there's no heartbeat is something I can't explain. He said he loved me but his feelings have died. I will always have a place in his heart but tbh I don't want this place. We never had a fight, only healthy discussions. He knew about my toxic, abusive relationship in the past and I really did trust him. After we got the news that there's no heartbeat one week before I had to give birth, he talked about wanting another child as soon as I am ready. That he loved me. Doesn't want another girlfriend. But from one day on the other, everything changed. And he said, that he decided to break up on the evening before we had our conversation.
@@BBD1 Yes absolutely. But in my opinion the definition of love os to stay together and good and in bad times. It wasn't my fault that we have to handle a childloss. But 12 days to get over this trauma is impossible and that's what he said "I already moved on from our child loss, got over it and worked through and I hope you will be able to get through it too asap" I guess he avoids and pushes me away so he doesn't have to confront himself with this trauma situation. Out of sight out of mind... At least that is my explanation...
@@sarahkarl1748 Its a strange outcome to the entire thing. And extreme. I know neither of you two but understand that it must be very traumatic period for you. Not sure I would hold up at all in a situation like yours. Maybe he is so deeply shaken what happened with the miscarriage that he react this way. Or he lied when he spoke those words to you. I do not know. I do know that for you it was like a lightning out of a blue sky. You had no reason to think he would react this way considering what he told you. Ofc what he told and did to you was wrong on his end. Perhaps, I hope, in time you will get some closure on this.
My ex obviously cared and tried to warn me, she didn't want to hurt me, but I would not listen, I was.... totally messed up, of course she had to start upping the ante of how she was trying to detach.. I know she had issues too but the reason she had to be so blunt was because I was failing to hear her. I was failing to understand. I never knew I had any anxiety at all until that time in my life of the breakup. she became the object of my love.. as if I was looking to her as a caretaker.. and wanting to have my needs met. well? who the hell wants to be alone.
How about when I keep giving my avoidant the opportunity to end it but they ask to be friends but then they are hot and cold and then you try again and let them know it’s ok to end it and they say we should “try” having a conversation? It’s so dang confusing!!!
an avoidant (if not healing) *wants* you in the middle! They do not want to commit-but why should they let you go? You are still a safety net, emotional support, attention giver, their emergency plan *. They are getting exactly what they want here. It's you who doesn't, so it's you who needs to go. * not saying there might not be real sympathy involved, but in the end it doesn't matter, because keeping their space to themselves matters far more to them than you do. I know it's hard, but i think it's true.
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is there ever a time frame or situation that you suggest reaching out to them after a break up? Say you personally healed and you're ready to start moving on but want to see if they are still available or something along those lines?
What percentage of women leave you for someone else? My ex gf was very academic focused, and she was single for 6 months before meeting me after her first ever relationship which lasted about 6 months. Our relationship lasted about a year, and I asked if she met someone else, and she was adamant that she just wanted to be single. It makes me crazy thinking about her with someone else, because we had no issues in that department or in regard to physical attraction. Her issue with me was money related, as her family is rich and Jewish. She thought I wouldn’t be successful enough for her, which honestly was so demeaning that idk why I even want her back. SMH idk anymore. I’m so lost.
Sending you courage from a far ❤️I miss my ex 😢
Thank you Craig. One month since breakup of two and a half year relationship and started no contact immediately at that time because I found your channel. Watching videos daily to make sense of why the breakup happened and cope with separation anxiety. Working on myself and getting my life back on track.
I don't know how I would be getting through this without you, Victoria and of course Margaret ( wishing she was still here). Thank you for everything you do. There is definitely some bad advice out there, and I'm glad I found you before I made any of the post breakup mistakes.
update?❤
It's crazy how they act selfish and cruel by blindsiding you with the breakup then wonder why you call and text many times. It's like wtf is going on? I got too anxious and needy if you will but she also did this while my business partner sabotaged and shut the business down. I was out of work, needed a place to move and store all my tools, etc and bam! Hits me with this right after my first ever anxiety/panic attack. Already weakened and trying to regain footing and boom hit again. So while i feel bad for calling too much or freaking out, it was also immature how she did it. That still hurts and could be why she cant meet in person yet- probably feels a lot of shame/guilt. But instead of trying to work through it, she's running away. Staying in no conctact just to get myself centered.
Yup!
He knows I'm really sick - dealing with a major health problem- and he hasn't checked on me once, despite saying he wants to be there for me and help me out during our last conversation. It hurts so much and really feels like he doesn't care, when I know the reality is he's probably just being eaten up by the guilt of leaving me.
Then he really isn't worth it. Or they are just too ashamed (of they have any true feelings), let them be and focus on your health and yourself. It's tough. I'm going through that thing, too. Love yourself first. Love and light 🙏🧡
No she doesn't care. Because I sent her msg after 8 months.. But she just block me and she happy without me. It's so painful
@@adrij4961 possible, but you can't generalize that. Sometimes blocking means just that it's over for ever.
@@adrij4961 i agree that there might often still be some attachment and emotion when the blocking stuff happens. The point is though: These emotions *can* be positive, but they can also be so negative that blocking is just "stay away from me forever!" .
If you are the dumper.. I think she blocked you because she doesn't want to have anything to do with you anymore. It's over forever. When a lady has already moved on, sorry its too late.. She won't turn back to you. Enough is enough.. Bye forever.
However if God fated that both of you will be together at the end no one can stop it.
You are not that especial to say "when a lady". It doesn't have to do anything with the gender.@@melissadesu4718
No matter how kind you are, you'll never be kinder than german children.
I wish he cared.
He dumped me only 2 weeks after we lost our child in the 23 rd pregnancy week 7 weeks ago and I had to give birth to our little angel.
Two days before the break up he still said, he loved me like he did on the very first day and that we would manage this trauma situation together.
But when he broke up he said, he lost his feelings for me with our child and he doesn't even miss me when I am not with him. He wished me all the best, but he doesn't love me anymore and doesn't want a relationship with me. With our childloss a new chapter in his life started and it doesn't include me.
I feel empty but try to be strong and brave, I lost my child an my partner within 2 weeks and I didn't had the chance to work on it or grieve although I tried to give him a good feeling after our loss, tried to give him the space he needed although I really needed a shoulder to cry on.
I can't imagine how you can leave the "love of your life" in such a situation.
Since the break up 5 weeks ago, he didn't reach out to ask how I am physically or mentally. He made new social media accounts, of course without adding me and is posting more frequently than ever before.
I went into no contact the day after the break up...
Maybe one day he realises what he did to me and what he lost...
He lost a girlfriend who fought for him although she lost her baby and loved him with all she had...
But I only lost a man who is able to leave me in the most traumatic situation a woman has to go through.
Your last sentence, focus on that every time you feel the urge to reach out
Thats low. Only sensible conclusion I reach is that he lost his feeling some time ago but stuck with it because of the pregnancy. But then saying he loves you and probably doing activities/romance before and during pregnancy is very low class.
If a person has doubt they should figure it out and discuss it with the other one, rather than dragging it out and leaving the other person in the dark. Not cool at all.
@@lucri988 well the thing is, until break up day he told me daily how much he loved me and that he would never leave me alone. I know that such a trauma situation can affect feelings. But to break up only 12 days after your girlfriend has to give birth to your child because there's no heartbeat is something I can't explain. He said he loved me but his feelings have died. I will always have a place in his heart but tbh I don't want this place. We never had a fight, only healthy discussions. He knew about my toxic, abusive relationship in the past and I really did trust him. After we got the news that there's no heartbeat one week before I had to give birth, he talked about wanting another child as soon as I am ready. That he loved me. Doesn't want another girlfriend.
But from one day on the other, everything changed. And he said, that he decided to break up on the evening before we had our conversation.
@@BBD1
Yes absolutely. But in my opinion the definition of love os to stay together and good and in bad times. It wasn't my fault that we have to handle a childloss. But 12 days to get over this trauma is impossible and that's what he said "I already moved on from our child loss, got over it and worked through and I hope you will be able to get through it too asap"
I guess he avoids and pushes me away so he doesn't have to confront himself with this trauma situation. Out of sight out of mind...
At least that is my explanation...
@@sarahkarl1748 Its a strange outcome to the entire thing. And extreme. I know neither of you two but understand that it must be very traumatic period for you. Not sure I would hold up at all in a situation like yours. Maybe he is so deeply shaken what happened with the miscarriage that he react this way. Or he lied when he spoke those words to you. I do not know. I do know that for you it was like a lightning out of a blue sky. You had no reason to think he would react this way considering what he told you. Ofc what he told and did to you was wrong on his end. Perhaps, I hope, in time you will get some closure on this.
My ex obviously cared and tried to warn me, she didn't want to hurt me, but I would not listen, I was.... totally messed up, of course she had to start upping the ante of how she was trying to detach.. I know she had issues too but the reason she had to be so blunt was because I was failing to hear her. I was failing to understand. I never knew I had any anxiety at all until that time in my life of the breakup. she became the object of my love.. as if I was looking to her as a caretaker.. and wanting to have my needs met. well? who the hell wants to be alone.
Same for me
Yup!
I can really resonates with me, especially the second part of the video
i caught mine requesting me from a fake page 😂 #blocked
Why you here then?
because this video was in my suggestions & I wanted to hear what he had to say on the subject ????????????? You sound slow
How about when I keep giving my avoidant the opportunity to end it but they ask to be friends but then they are hot and cold and then you try again and let them know it’s ok to end it and they say we should “try” having a conversation? It’s so dang confusing!!!
an avoidant (if not healing) *wants* you in the middle! They do not want to commit-but why should they let you go? You are still a safety net, emotional support, attention giver, their emergency plan *. They are getting exactly what they want here. It's you who doesn't, so it's you who needs to go.
* not saying there might not be real sympathy involved, but in the end it doesn't matter, because keeping their space to themselves matters far more to them than you do.
I know it's hard, but i think it's true.
Much love coach.. ur videos have helped so much over the years 🫶🏼