Hey, Dan, I've never seen Joel have an actual meltdown when we video chat, but I've seen him become get very agitated because of a Political company calling him constantly. When he's agitated, he signs hard and fast and slams his hand on his bed. Dan, I try my best to calm him down and say, ' Baby, calm down, it'll be okay. Talk to your Mom and get her to take care of it. With him being deaf, these Political companies calls him on video phone and he gets agitated easy. I do what I can to help him. Most importantly, be here for him. I love him. Thank you do much for making these videos. God bless you.
The Aspie World i start my formal autism evaluation on saturday. I moved last week so im having to reinvent my systems and recreate my ruteins but everyting feels upside down and out of place.
I’m crying because this video finally gave me clarity as to why I have intense moments where I hit myself, pull my hair, or punch things when I just feel overloaded.
Yep, same here. And everyone has just told me I'm an asshole/brat, etc my whole life who know one is ever going to love. What a bunch of fucking idiots
As a 33 year old woman I am beyond humiliated I have these and nobody knows. My dad made fun of me today for it. He's a lot older than I am ..He's 83...so I get it..but I feel alone . I've always been alone. 33 and fighting this by myself for this long...I'm tired -_-...
@@TheAspieWorld thank you! Really! I had my mom sit down and watch a lot of you're videos just now . I also regularly share you're stuff on Facebook hoping someone will get it without telling them this is me because like I said I'm to embarrassed
I find that happens when I am over-tired (rambling - I rarely have meltdowns because I walk away, pet the horses, do gardening or chores, or watch a video = anything to derail the overwhelm.)
I literally just stop myself from breathing and let my face turn red, then I quickly exhale all the air out of my lungs, then inhale. Not healthy or safe at all imo, but it's the best, most effective method for calming myself down I've ever known.
I took me SO LONG to realize when someone asked me for a ride randomly that it caused me to have a meltdown. Like if I know the night before I'm okay, but if it's last minute it makes me so irrationally angry.
I never liked rides, rollercoasters and when I was expecting, I felt the speed of one of those fast trains more, I now feel nervous when going into them ..
Actually sensory overloads have rarely lead to meltdowns for me. Occasionally they may contribute to shutdowns. The overloads for me are always about emotions, other people, myself and relationships. I might feel hurt or upset and everything that all people have said to me in life eventually gets too much.
Whenever I have a meltdown I always try to hold it in because i always think people don't understand, even if my dad has Asperger's. It hurts alot and I have to go to my room most of the time to let it all out.
Yeah it’s not a nice thing so I can totally understand that!! Heyy I have a free autism coping secrets master class you can watch it here: www.copingsecrets.com/masterclass Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
I have autism, and I become very irate when people argue, often times to the point where I will scream and hit my head, and will also punch doors, walls, or myself and break things.
Oh, my God! I hate it wen people argue. The anger I feel from them is too overwhelming and I have no choice but to leave the room. My body physically cannot take it.
My son is breaking down things around him since childhood, he is now adult, still the same. He is supper intelligent. He still lives with me at 43. It is hurting me, so much to see his anger. I do not know what to do. I may say something and see him so much upset.
I have meltdowns constantly. I was diagnosed last year and Im 27. Always thought I was crazy or broken... Cannabis seems to help/prevent meltdowns and help control how strong they are... I just get embarassed because I wish I could control them more. I really appreciate your videos. They help me feel like Im not some broken person. I know Im not but the feeling can be sometimes overwhelming... Your amazing. Thank you for helping people understand the spectrum ♡
This is the same with me,i was diagnosed a month ago with autisim andI have meltdowns all the time, especially in school and I have to focus all of my power onto not having a panic attack in front of everyone and them thinking that there is something wrong with me. It’s really hard to keep up this façade all the time...
Yes, I also need to be held. Some of us need to be held, and some of us can’t stand the touch. When I’m having a meltdown I just crave for arms to hold me tight
Cosmic Weirdo absolutely! The worst way to calm someone during meltdown: 1. Being yelled and screamed at by your partner 2. Being told to calm down (in a angry abusive way). Verbal abuse never helps calm a person who is having a crying meltdown or anxiety attack.
Many of my friends are autistic. I have many similar signs, but have been diagnosed with ADHD and not Autism. I get sensory overload a lot when I go out, but it usually causes intense dissociation, so I don't outwardly react much.
Yes he does as we live in rural Queensland and there are no other options. It is difficult for him as his mind is about 10 but he is in classes with 15 or 16 year olds.
I have a 21 year old son and he’s only just been diagnosed. He’s been having meltdowns his entire life. Until we got the diagnosis it was very hard to understand but when we saw the psychiatrist he told him what helps so now I do what he said. It really shortens the meltdown. Thanks for being so relatable and informative. :0)
My ex wife would make fun of me. Tell me I’m Disgusting. All She would have to do is ask me why I’m Mad. Even if I wasn’t mad she would argue and push until I blew up then is usually say “woooow”. What the duck is wrong with you. I was usually having a good day up to that point but, I hope she isn’t, but she has several traits of narcissistic personality disorder. I would open up to her, I eventually stopped, but any trauma I went through she would torture me with until I would scream and punch the wall. A few times she was physically abusing me once I was smelting down. For me there is no pain at that point, so I would
I have Asperger's but I've only had a few real meltdowns in my adult life, though I'm familiar with the feeling of being overloaded - I'm usually ok once I've had some quiet time to process. I also try to plan well enough to avoid being caught off guard, as you say.
A video addressing meltdowns, thank you for making this. Folks have a lot of misunderstandings around meltdowns so thank you as always for your perspective!
I had to quit my last job cause I was severely sleep deprived for extended periods of time. I don't think I'll ever be able to sleep on a reliable schedule but I hope we get there one day!
As someone with Autism, who has attempted to hide their emotions and meltdowns their entire life (not successfully I might add), I am grateful for further education and videos like yours. I am now able to discuss my experiences with people in my life. Thank you :)
I care for a five year old boy, an aspie. His mother works a lot, so I can give him some one on one time. I’m learning a lot from your videos. Thank you. I find that this little boy is still trying to identify his emotions and manage them for socially acceptable situations when he goes to school. I’ve grown close to him even though I’m not related. We have built a trust between us and he is opening up to me. At his age, I find that when he has a meltdown it’s generally when he’s very tired, or hungry, or bored. He allows me to hug him and I gently rock him and quietly talk to him with positive affirmations. I’ve learned to see the meltdown coming and quickly divert him to another activity. Sometimes he wants quiet time alone on his iPad to play a few games I downloaded for him. Other times , directing him outside to the garden(he has a vege plot ) or. water play for giggles. I have noticed he can’t cope if his mum has overloaded his schedule, or he has just spent the weekend with his father. I did discover that favourite foods do calm him down, so when you mentioned that I felt a warm feeling of accomplishment. I’m doing something right. I will also implement your other suggestions as well. Keep up the good work, you never know just who you’re reaching and providing a window of understanding and advice, not only to Aspies, but those who care for them.
My 9 year old son has Aspergers, I have noticed his meltdowns increase in severity & quantity with age. I am desperate to help him so I greatly appreciate your videos. He tends to self harm so tips on reducing or preempting any meltdowns are invaluable! Thank you so much! I am so grateful I found your channel!
I have aspergers and I manage my meltdown risk by using the things that calm me consciously each day. For me that's allowing time for myself to flap or stretch each day...I just think of that as being time to work the autism out of my bones and it's a relief like yawning. I find if I do it whenever I feel like it, it comforts me to know that I can always work out some of anxiety that way if I need to in an emergency. That's important for me because my worries have often taken the form of what will I do if there's an emergency and I can't be on my own or get home???!!! And sometimes I find new comforting movements by consciously indulging them! Other things I do...lots of bouncing on my rebounder. Listen to Chopin or Radiohead. Have a bath with epsom salts and essential oils. Holding fabric over my mouth. Wearing corsets (not such a good technique in summer as you get too hot!). Sticking to eating safe foods and bottled water throughout the day. CBD oil has really helped me too. It definitely takes the edge off my fried senses. ♡ I'm 45 this year and I would like to say to younger autistic people, you do learn to manage your life better over time and I have MASSIVELY less meltdowns now than I used to. It was something that would happen every 2 or 3 weeks. It's a good job I manage them better and avoid them more because these days they take me longer to recover from physically - I just feel the exhaustion so much more than when I was a kid!!!
I get the thing of getting into safe place if I get some kind of panic attack or something. And something I had especially when younger but still sometimes till this day I'd begin to worry if there is wc close to me do I can go somewhere to be behind closed doors without other people. On the worst cases it also turns my stomach upside down and I start to panic even more about wcs because last thing I want is to soil myself. This has caused very uncomfortable situations when I was in school and later in higher studies. Now I'm working in a place where I feel very comfortable so I don't get these attacks there and people there are aware of my condition and give me space to be weird as I do my job well anyway.
That's an important point. Sometimes you can be honest about autistic traits and people will be accomodating - which removes a massive amount of the anxiety! ♡ For me, one thing is carrying a bottle of evian around and everyone who knows me knows I drink water so it doesn't seem rude to them if I don't accept a drink they offer. That sort of acceptance is important because even if drinking a strange drink from a strange cup doesn't trigger a meltdown, it can be unnecessary stress for me. When I worked in a large office I was really lucky the person I sat with could tell if I can into work non verbal and he would talk to people who came over to me instead of me talking. Him doing that probably stopped me having a few meltdowns at work! ♡♡♡
Yes! It does get better. While I've only just recently started to learn language to describe what I was experiencing, over the years I have learned my own personal limits and I understand better now how to both prevent and deal with the occasional overload breakdown. Getting enough sleep and eating small meals more often instead of two large ones helps keep my system level. As does getting regular exercise.
Thank you! My son’s friend just had a meltdown 45 mins ago and my son had one the other night. They were both listening to this video. I’m so thankful that my aspie has another aspie friend.
I rarely have meltdowns as an autistic person, but when I do, they are rough, they can last for days, at school, embarrassing myself. My dad's side of the family don't believe I have Aspergers and think Dr Burg is rubbish at her job, which makes it even harder when I'm at my dad's having a meltdown. I want to spread awareness.
my daughter hits her self, or plugs her ears. I Stimm, a LOT when I'm getting to that meltdown point. I use to cry, or go inside myself, now I fidget with my clothes, or say "Oh my" my college professor taught me how to use the two Stimms instead of not speaking or interacting, crying or getting real mad. Problem is, its kinda hard to explain to everyone on Earth why I say "Oh my" when I get triggered. Good part is, less people notice, so I don't feel as weird in public.
Thanks for your amazing videos. My son is on the spectrum and and I use your videos to help explain things for my family who struggle to understand my son. It’s taught me a lot too so thank you. Not sure you realise how much affect and help your videos have on lives xx
Tasha Lawrence me too Same situation & Dans videos really help me understand my sons condition. Were still in the beginning stages as he was just diagnosed 2 weeks ago so it’s all still new to us but now watching these videos a lot of it is making sense.
I had no idea this was what I was doing. I developed all these elaborate plans to prevent these types of meltdowns, but I never told anybody. Just, wow! This is an eye opening video for me.
My brother is an Aspie diagnosed in his mid 50s, I am his caregiver. He was totally misunderstood from birth, didn't walk or speak until age 3. I'm the younger sister, our much older sister is my source of information. Our parents took him everywhere and got no diagnosis. My mom did not know how to get him to do every day tasks, so he was always waited on constantly. He married a very controlling woman who told him when to breathe! When she passed away my mom got him back. He still feels entitled to be taken care of and tends to meltdown when I won't do certain things for him, or I'm late doing a task for him...like making up his pill cases. This is difficult because i just finished caring for our dad for 8 years. He had Alzheimer's disease. I'm tired and exhausted myself. I'm on full disability. I know this isn't true but sometimes I feel like he has a list of things that piss me off and try to accomplish at least 5 per day. Oddly enough i taught inclusion classes for 7 years with students on the autism spectrum. They didn't annoy me, my brother frequently does. Sigh, just keep going.
Even though it is hard to be a caregiver and not to mention challenging and exhausting... He is very lucky to have you. And he most likely has a hard time showing/expressing it. We are who we love and love is all. Stay strong, you're a blessing! Happy new year ;)
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS VIDEO! This is SO hard for other people and my family to understand. Sometimes my adult daughter with Aspergers also gets aggressive with me during these melt downs as well as self harming, and other people take it personally when they see this. You are SO helpful describing these melt downs from the perspective of someone who experiences them. I seriously want to cry because you are helping me explain my daughter's condition to others to give them the opportunity to be more compassionate to her.
About two months ago, my boyfriend had his first meltdown in front of me. He and I planned on spending an afternoon doing some bowling, but his little nephew came home early and started needing my boyfriend's attention. My boyfriend and I didn't get to leave his residence until late in the afternoon. Once we got to the bowling alley, it would have been a three hour wait for a lane. Instead, we headed back to his place to have dinner. Once we got back to his house he mumbled something under his breath and started to hit his head. The day didn't go as he would have liked for us. I reassured him that I was game to try again on our next date. But I reassured him his nephew should always have top priority and I can wait. Having backup plans and allowing room for predictable improvisation has earned me brownie points with my boyfriend. 😁
ILoveAstronomy your boyfriend sounds exactly like me, someone who has active meltdowns rather that passive. A bit like a child in a mans body who has temper tantrums. That is what I do when I meltdown so shame on me!!! Because I’m autistic is that no excuse? The cynical part of me is saying I hope you’ve left him since this comment because of his behaviour. I’ve never had a relationship and because I respect girls I wish to never get into a relationship with one because no one deserves to put up with my bad behaviour, so out of kindness and respect for them, I will accept I will always be alone, because I am 25 and too far gone down the line to change my meltdown behaviour! And yes I get jealous of other autistic people who act mature and are younger than me, because I know I will never be like them. Unfortunately I am the autistic person people will get to hate!! I have failed myself! That’s just life I’m afraid! 😡😡😡😢😢😢😢 am actually in meltdown writing this
Great video Dan! I have asperger's and I tend to get meltdowns when situations don't go as planned, or when I have to socialize in loud and chaotic environments. I usually get headaches, or an urge to start scratching myself during these meltdowns . Thank you for helping me deal with them! Greetings from Brazil!!!
Thank you Dan! I've been experiencing meltdowns more recently due to all kinds of stress factors in my life. Just listening to this video was like a peer support situation. Helps with generating a self - compassionate attitude. Self - compassion by the way is a topic I recommend to everyone dealing with these kinds of challenges in their lives.
Great vid. I don't know about anyone else, but when I'm having a meltdown I can actually feel it physically as well as emotionally. Anger gets built up and I can physically feel the anger running through my body. When I hit something it's because I have this overpowering need to release the anger. Also, gaming is my go to for calming and relaxing, but unfortunately you're looked down upon in today's society if you're an adult that enjoys gaming. I'm new on my journey to discovering I have Asperger's so at least now I understand myself and why I do things a whole lot more. These vids help immensely.
Geez, wow, so I've been stimming, having trouble understanding social situations and cues, obsessing over certain things and being irrationally angry at so many things my entire life and I've always thought that I was crazy. I just two days ago found your videos and binge-watching them all I realize that I most likely am probably on the Autism spectrum. I had no idea because my parents apparently never saw anything off with my behaviour and often treated my weird stimming movements and meltdowns as me being a 'bad' kid. But they also had me when they were older and I have a chromosomal genetic mutation so that definitely makes me more likely to have something, I also had to go to speech therapy until I was 8 or so. I had no idea, but this made things so much clearer, I will have to see a specialist now, wow, thank you so much, you are so effective at educating, thank you.
Hi Dan.... so my 13 year old is the person with aspergers. This video is really good. One of the best ways to be able to deal with the anxiety is to know the triggers. As with my son we always stick to routine as much as possible and tell him what to expect. But as you said melt downs happen. With my son I always felt acknowledging I understand he is upset seemed to help. But after a certain point of no return, on the meltdown, I would wait until he was ready to talk about what happened, as you said sometimes days later, but it did help!
Something I've noticed I do when I get very overwhelmed or stressed is that I squeeze things really hard, rub my hands really vigorously, or pull my own hair (not pull it out, but tugging it pretty hard). I didn't realize the hair pulling thing was a more common reaction. Thank you so much again, Dan for helping to educate the community!
Same, except mine starts with anger, screaming, and hitting things (objects) that hurt my ears. One of my triggers are loud roaring trucks. I have trouble sleeping because I have to hold my ears and put on an ASMR video. I definitely can't handle change. Yesterday, I had to quit two games I loved and played for years because of the stupid connection in the game doesn't work. If I get lost, driving, I end up in a meltdown. It happened when I with my friend in the car and got lost, and she had to calm me down and help us get back home. Props to her! Other than that, I'm suffering from noises. In public, I'm trying to hold it in and not meltdown in public like I did in 8th grade (crying, banging head). As an adult, in public, it's a "fight or flight" response. At home, it's meltdowns.. After so many meltdowns, I end up depressed and crying.. ;( Right now, I'm having a meltdown towards these roaring vehicles outside! I just can't take it! It's just every five seconds, "RRRRRRRRrrrrr.. " It's driving me crazy! >.
I worry for my grandson, aged 5. He's isolated at school whilst he tries to integrate into his classes (but he does have a fantastic support group), he only does half days. My heart just cries out for him and I need to know how to help.
Late diagnosis here. Was diagnosed at mid 30s. I was also a working professional in the field of autism, handling autistic kids to teenagers. During those years, I saw myself in these kids/teenagers. I've been living so long without knowing I'm an Aspie. Am very glad that I am clear about who I really am. I have tons of regulation strategies to calm myself down, no longer getting pissed every single second. Took off my masking when needed, and never felt so happy.
Yes!!! For my family (myself and my three teenagers), we have to have plan A, B,C and D. We bring earbuds/headphones, sunglasses, zippered hoodies, game systems, chewing gum and fidgets. We can recognize each other getting escalated and try to help each other defuse before things get ugly. However that being said, we have left many places, gone to the dressing rooms, went back to the car and even just went back home many, many times over the years, just to try again later. In our family, we have panic attacks, raised voice levels, toe walking, self-hitting ( thankfully, as we have learned triggers, this does not occur often now), crying, pacing floors, stimming and rocking. Thank you for all of the videos and for giving everyone a "real" look into our lives.
I have Asperger's and have had meltdowns my whole life. When I was a kid and teen I just had no control over it, it would suddenly start bubbling up and before I knew it I was beyond the point of no return. Now as an adult I'm usually self-aware enough that I can de-stress before it happens or at least get in a private space first, but sometimes it still happens in public. I'm 25 and I thought it was finally over because it had been over a year meltdown-free, but then I had one a couple months ago, full out screaming and rolling on the floor in front my friends, it was a humiliating and humbling experience. I tried to play it off as a joke but I don't think they were buying it.
To be honest, having a family is my number one reason for overloads and melt-downs. I can handle up to two or three interruptions, when I (for example) learn, but when they just keep interrupting me, I get very angry. The strange thing is that my family as a whole has NEVER learned when it's better to just leave me alone. I can't understand that, because I show certain degrees of stress, and it would enable them to know when to stop bothering me. But they just keep on and on and on until I explode and then they seem to wonder what just happened LOL To me, this is just stupid. I explain that behaviour to myself with their less logical thinking (at least that's what it seems so me). If they were able to logically decide what they'd do, they surely wouldn't do that....I think...
I grew up in a emotionally abusive house and when I would have a meltdown, I would be held down on the floor until I calmed down. Now as an adult I have a personality disorder on top of asd, depression and severe anxiety. I unfortunately was not diagnosed until this year, I am 36.
I'm always curious as to how medical professionals define a personality disorder with a person who is also on 'the spectrum'. I mean being autistic presents as a personality disorder itself.
Hey, I have Asperger‘s. I’ve been watching your videos for a a while I use your videos to share awareness or whatever you wanna call it I don’t know 222 break the naivety of autism and Asperger’s. I am high functioning, but I still feel things all the time and this video showed me what a real meltdown feels like. I don’t know I feel justified when I listen to you.
Thanks for this video. My son has just been diagnosed with ASD. We don't have the classification of aspergers due to changes in diagnosis protocol but we were told this is what best fits him. He is 14 and having difficulty with controlling his emotions. He has been having more frequent meltdowns. I hope I can use this video to help him. X
My 5 year old daughter has just recently been diagnosed with high functioning autism. Also, my 32 year old sister has just been diagnosed with the same after years of having diagnosis of borderline personality disorder, anxiety and depression. She has had a hard time growing up but has been doing significantly better for the past 7 years since meeting her fiance. He has been wonderful for her. It's been really emotional for my sister given my daughters diagnosis, she worries a lot for her but is pleased that we didn't have to wait so long to learn what is actually going on! My mother, her twin sister and I also display very faint Aspie/Autistic traits but in ways that if anything have just been beneficial. We all have all have a much greater understanding of each other now, unfortunately we all live in different counties but the support from my family for my wee one has been overwhelming!
Guys, stuffed animals can help a lot with meltdowns. I used to lose control and hurt myself several times a day, but I bonded closely to a beanie baby that I now carry everywhere, even in public. My stuffed cat has helped by being a close friend. She has limited my meltdowns to just once or twice a month instead of every day. It took awhile to bond but it's really been worth it! 🐈
Thanks!! My daughter (10) has Asperger's and is intuitively doing what you recommend after meltdowns. Awesome. It's good to know we're just on the right path with everything! Your videos are just so comforting and helpful! and funny!! :)
This was a really good video. I like having my Bluetooth headphones on and walking around listening to it. It calms me down. White noise type of thing. I really enjoy your videos. Great job!
I recently had a meltdown that was one of the worst I have ever experienced. Long story short, police showed up who in turn forced me to leave in an ambulance and I was taken to the local hospital. They forced me into a room and put me on suicide watch and took all of my clothes from me. I tried talking to them after I calmed and explain that I have Aspergers and asked them to call my therapist. They threatened me and told me "I am the charge nurse, and if you don't shut your mouth I will restrain you and forcibly sedate you." It took nearly 24 hours before I was finally allowed to see the hospital "therapist" who instantly knew what was going on and I was allowed to leave. In all of those hours I was not feed, was barely able to get water from them. I have never been treated more poorly in my life. It sent me into a very depressed state and I haven't wanted to leave my house much since. I just recently received an over $2000 bill from the hospital for this.
I was diagnosed with AS when I about 4 yrs old. I went to therapy for it as a child but didn't as a adult. I was hoping that this would phase out over time, but recently I'm learning that's not the case. My "meltdowns" are caused by a load of stress and negative forces coming down on me all at once (for example stress at work, at home, plans ideas and dreams not coming together or being achieved etc.)
Just subscribed today. My partner has aspie and his meltdowns are daily and huge. I think your channel will help me understand what he’s feeling and help him more
Very helpful Dan. Thank you! I have a few cousins with autism, I have a Sunday School student with autism and one of my a good friend's son has autism and asperbers. I watch you every week. Thanks again
After my meltdown or anytime I feel down, Snacks do help me. I also like to wrap myself in my heavy blanket and watch my mental health playlist. Its an amalgamation of funny videos, words of encouragement and cute animals
My boyfriend has AS and I knew nothing about it when we first started dating. He tends to manage it pretty well, but I felt the needed to know more about the condition so I could understand him better. Your videos have really helped me understand his behaviour more and now we have a really healthy relationship with lots of communication. He said he was actually really pleased that I took the time to look into AS and learn about it, as none of his previous relationships had done that before. He said it made him feel like I really understood him and that it showed that I care about him. Your videos have been really helpful in my understanding of AS, and therefore my boyfriend, so thank you!
I love your realness mate. Getting my diagnosis soon. Just turned 22 and these videos so relatable to anyone whos faced stigma for being different. Life's overwhelming for someone with autism.
For many years I went hiking with friens every summer, for a period of two weeks. And it was catastrophic because every time I suffer meltdowns and anger issues, the unusual circumstances just pile up until I break out. I thought I was some kind of psycho and a terrible person, but now that I've learned that I am an Aspie, I can see a way I can fix this with my friends, if they would make accomodations for me to have enough time alone and activities of my choice.
I recently went camping with a friend and our children. It was worth it for the nature and experience and I am grateful but I definitely had meltdowns and skipped meals to just be alone in a tiny tent ☹️
The Aspie World when you talked about it it seemed sketchy, also you could just be feeling good because of the placebo effect (I don't remember what it is called when it is not about placebos). There is also a possibility that it does just work (Though I think that is unlikely.
The Aspie World If you like it, keep it. Maybe it's more a spiritual thing then but humans do have a need for that and I think this need itself is somewhat scientifically proven at this point, as well as placebo and imagination excercises being able to have actual positive effects. If it worked for you, keep imagining it filters toxins from your blood and enjoy the power of the human mind aiding the body in whatever it actually does do.
The replies are true. The placebo effect is a scientifically proven phenomenon. I believe it's McGill university that was doing work with a simulated MRI machine to treat children with symptoms of anxiety, ADHD, and other behaviors. The children were actually told that the process was going to help them heal themselves--essentially told about the placebo effect. Even being told that it really wasn't the machine, the children all made remarkable improvement. So, basically, if something works, great! Go with it! 😊
There are numerous studies that show the placebo effect still works even when people are directly told it's only a placebo. ...so if I choose to believe that Oreos are medicinal no one can tell me otherwise!
My son was recently diagnosed with Asperger's and OCD at twelve. So thankful to have the opportunity to learn how to communicate better with him. It's been a struggle. ❤️
the more I watch your videos the more convinced I am that I have mild symptoms of Aspergers, I don't really hit myself or anything like that, but I've had to go to my room and hit the pillows and cry, and I didn't know why I did that, but yeah it was connected with changing routines. Something that has helped me is having good communication, knowing exactly what we're going to do, or if the person is thinking about something else. My boyfriend likes to change a lot, so I have to ask him constantly if he's thinking about changing the plans or things around the house, so I get prepared and not explode.
I've been diagnosed Asperger last week and trying to learn myself and how I work better. I believe I have meltdowns, but I am not sure I am able to recognise them yet. All this is helpful, but how can I be sure I had a meltdown and not only a panic attack or a rage attack?
That's the problem I always had. I told my therapists I have panic attacks for years before knowing that the "panic attack" or even "rage attack" were indeed meltdowns(that's why I was so late diagnosed with asperger). because I had no fear for death while panicking and thats what i have been told so is the main thing of "panic attacks".. my language doesn't even have a word for "meltdown". So I looked at the triggers. Is there a pattern? In my case my triggers for example were/are specific noises; when I have to be in a group with more than 2 people for in my opinion long time; when I don't have the chance to go out of a situation in discussions. And all of them because of sensory overload. As a kid I cut myself then I bumped my head against walls etc. Wiggling for and back. And if you can't see yourself in this- it doesn't have to mean anything. We're all different. ^^ Maybe if some therapist asks you about panic attacks, ask him what a panic attack for them is or just tell them what you are doing while panicking. For me personally that's pretty hard to talk about and if you don't want to you don't have to
I'm a 21 year old with Asperger's, and I've learned to control my meltdowns over the years. Yeah they still happen, usually through emotional expression, but I feel that I've learned to control the extent and frequency. Every time something doesn't go according to plan, someone ruins my day, or whatever it is, I've learned to catch myself just before I'm about to have my outburst. I'd take deep breaths, and try to distract my mind with a plan b to prevent stress. I've also obtained the bad habit of preventing/lessening meltdowns through passive aggressive comments/behavior, immediately followed up by a light hearted joke. To me this feels like I'm expressing myself, yet at the same time I'm not, and I'm joking around, so that makes it okay.
I still do that now as an adult but it feels like an energy release now and feels good rather than like I'm actually sad or upset. Like energy builds up, I go have a crying fit and feel better
I'm 31 and just learning about my condition and my wife came home and seen that I closed my eyes with my fist. After I lost my phone in the Uber I took. Tried making a long story short.
I also have Asperger's. For me when I reach my overload, I tend to get overly violent. For me, just a bit of shadow boxing or some form of solo athletic activity helps calm me down.
This video helps me tremendously to understand my two grandsons who have Aspergers and how to help them when they melt down. Thank-you for this information!
I'm a 62 mother of a 23 y/o Asperger son. Your podcasts have been so helpful into understanding my son and what triggers his meltdowns, and how to manage our relationship.
Hi there! I am a mom of a 5 year old son that was diagnosed with ASD and I am researching for him. I came across your videos and some things are starting to make more sense. We didn't really see autism in him. The more aspberger videos we watch, the more we believe he has aspbergers.
I don't know if you'll find it handy or not, but Asperger's was an old term that has been dissolved in most professional material, so while you research try looking up Autism Level 1 too (which is essentially the same as Asperger's because it is just autism to a lesser degree). Hope you find answers to your questions.
I have a family member that suffers from Aspergers. It is unfortunate that sometimes individuals with either mental illness and/or disorders do not wish to seek help. As a result, they impact others around them in particular family members. I watch this show in order to have a better understanding as to what symptoms a person with Asperger experiences? And how to assist her in the process
I was only just diagnosed with ASD and moderate SPD last week (I’m 60, just as an aside), and a moderate panic disorder mainly related to sensory overload. Whereupon my psychiatrist immediately blew off my diagnosis (he made the referral and chose the provider, a member of his own practice!), so I’m back in limbo. One thing I notice is that I’m MUCH lower in energy than you. In fact, I have to read transcripts of your vids because you speak so fast. But I’m so grateful for the information you share!
I tend to have meltdowns most often when my wife and I are having an argument. I don't know what it is specifically about having an argument, but something about the negative energy of it just causes me to have out of control panic, crying, and even sometimes hitting myself as you mentioned. And every couple has to argue sometimes, but there's something about it I just can't handle.
I feel my boyfriend has non-diagnosed aspbergers. After dealing with his meltdowns and verbal abuse/yelling/swearing for 6 years I researched this and found out there have been 18 studies and aspies are Vitamin B6 deficient. I got him B6 with magnesium from Amazon and he hasn't had a meltdown since. He gets mildly frustrated but minimal swearing. I highly recommend this if anyone is tired of meltdowns every day. We live in Las Vegas and he went to the SEMA auto show with 190,000 attendees last week and wasn't overwhelmed or irritated once
My friends and I are autistic. I only make autistic friends, it's easier you know. One of them is out of school now doing vocational training and the other is with me at school
Oh that is super interesting I have a lot of artistic friends and I think now my closest friends and wife are the autistic friends I have. Have you downloaded my free e-book yet on how to turn traits into superpowers? Https://www.theaspieworld.com/ebook Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
I have Asperger's syndrome and the biggest meltdown I had was a few weeks ago and it was bad I was throwing stuff and crying while also banging my head a punching myself in the face and I'm 17 now that I think about it I am emberresed because of my meltdown.
I never had such a meltdown,i had something similar to panic attacks,i was not trying to hurt myself,i was just isolating myself in a corner or sobbing uncontrollably,hiding under tables,etc. Sometimes when it was too loud or something i just isolated myself in a corner and started crying. My classmates called that corner "the depressive corner" lmao. I am not sure if i have asperger's,i have most of the symptoms.
What are some good "toys" or devices for Aspie's to use during a meltdown or to try to help prevent a meltdown? I enjoy all of your videos, by the way. Very informative and helpful when dealing with my Aspie boyfriend. Thank you.
Well it depends on your boyfriend, if he likes sounds then get him something that makes continues sound. If he likes soft stuff get him a peace of cloth, etc
A rubber band. A pen. My hair. A lid of a bottle. A coin. A piece of paper, a string, keychain. and all those things work for me. I have adhd too though. I just dont like actual toys. Cause they are toys. They are less subtle, lose them and usually have less freedom. Just keep like something in your pocket. Some basically trash and you can give to him when he is stressing out. But most likely he already does things like that. It is just easy to forget to carry literal trash.
Dutchik Thank you. I will definitely be getting him something so simple to have with him, wrist band. Oh, is trying to play bored games with him when trying to have a serious conversation with him a good thing to try? To try to avoid so much eye contact and to ease any discomfort or tension that may come along with serious conversations? Or is playing games and trying to have a serious conversation too much to do at the same time for an Aspie? Thank you in advance
Jameka Andrews i dont know if a board game and a serious conversation is too much for him. It is personal. But he will likely be focused on the game too if he actually enjoys it. But remember. There is a huge difference between eye contact with someone you love. Especially in a relationship with. And a random conversation. (My ex. A lot more severe autism than me. Like to the poiny of once being instutionalized and still bejng in an autistic school constantly had eye contact with me. He had pretty eyes though so it was fine.😅) Lets be honest. He is most likely calm with you and ok with touching you. Touch with someone you love especially releases endorphines. So maybe just have it while half cuddling on a couch. This can be hard though. In like that you get in the cuddly mindset and like just get all soft and shit. You can probably just sit down and have a deep conversation.
Im a diagnosed aspie. I have found routine to be enormously helpful to lower anxiety. But my meltdowns usually stem from communication difficulties. During arguments or intense discussion with my bf i find myself building to a meltdown. It typically ends ugly as i try to end the conversation with rudeness in order to go and hide without the conversation pursued. Its been an enormous area of frustration and does appear to be reoccuring. Luckily i am beginning to learn my pattern and am trying to predict before the meltdown happens so i may reduce my stress levels.
I can’t bear with people berating me constantly. I learnt to ignore unfair criticisms, but when it’s brought up on me over and over and over and over, I just cannot take it. Even if the person may be joking, it hits me on the heart and I just start screaming and I can’t control my angered, sad emotions. It’s uncontrollable and I really don’t get people who use their time to tease me and comment hurtfully on what they don’t like about me, just leave me alone is what I keep saying….. am writing this as I’m suspecting I am on this spectrum to some extent and today I’ve just had a break down. My whole body my whole existence just can’t handle unroutinely unfairly 😭😭😭😭😭 thank you so much for this insight.
Thank you for this video..... I have a 10 year old with asp/Autism with sever ADHD...now during this covid19 pandemic and him being so sensitive to the energies of others.....you see how the collective energy of fears and anxsity has had a profound effect on symptoms of meltdown and stimming....and it extremely hard for my husband to understand that My sons hitting himself is not behavioral issue....it's part of his diagnose....but the stresses are the biggest triggers to him. I aprecheate that I can show this video to my husband...as it can make a difference to him to be able to relate to it comming from another male figure...as well as you being an adult dealing with symptoms can be more relatable to him
This video is reminding me a lot of my friends she has these kind of panic attacks a lot especially when theres a change in her routine. (Example: exams and missing her bus) she also struggles with special triggers and sensory overload. I'm starting to wonder if this is anxiety or something more. I'm also curious if she knows herself. Alas I'll do more research
I only got diagnosed the month I turned 19, which is suprising considering the clear signs in my child (lilo vs myrtle level MMA fights, ostracism from peers do to a lack of assimilation, etc) and this really helps. My mom isn't the best at helping with it, despite having 4 kids who are autistic. Most times, she pushes it to be worse. She has caused me to have them 7 times in a 2 week period, all because she made the situation she forced me to help her with. She would give me all these tasks, and I would get overwhelmed, and I would try to step back and say no and do only one, but oh my God is that not a possibility with her.
I suspect that I have undiagnosed Asperger’s and recently as an adult I’ve had multiple overall sensory overloads which results in me being lethargic, depressed and sluggish for up to a week, just like you said, completely drained! I also had one or two major meltdowns in which I had severe panic attacks and had to force my brain to work to rationalise the situation to overcome the debilitating panic, which also drains me pretty badly. In fact as I am writing this up, I am currently in another overload episode. I’ve been dead sluggish for 3 days... I am so tired and I need help, but I just don’t know where to get help... Playing instrument helps to detangle my mind, but I have no access to any of it at the moment. I’m on a budget 😬
I have Aspergers myself and I've definitely been calmer since I moved to a more quieter area back in April but when I lived in a quite popular student city I had a few big meltdowns. The worst would have to be when I had a huge meltdown because of an inconsiderate flatmate having a really loud boisterous party with super loud music and everyone was drunk and loud :/ Just started crying, hyperventilating and thrashing :/
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The Aspie World thanks!
Hey, Dan, I've never seen Joel have an actual meltdown when we video chat, but I've seen him become get very agitated because of a Political company calling him constantly. When he's agitated, he signs hard and fast and slams his hand on his bed. Dan, I try my best to calm him down and say, ' Baby, calm down, it'll be okay. Talk to your Mom and get her to take care of it. With him being deaf, these Political companies calls him on video phone and he gets agitated easy. I do what I can to help him. Most importantly, be here for him. I love him. Thank you do much for making these videos. God bless you.
The Aspie World thank u
The Aspie World i start my formal autism evaluation on saturday. I moved last week so im having to reinvent my systems and recreate my ruteins but everyting feels upside down and out of place.
The Aspie World iv got an idea do you think that nurses in the NHS should be trained to deal with autistic melt downs ???
I’m crying because this video finally gave me clarity as to why I have intense moments where I hit myself, pull my hair, or punch things when I just feel overloaded.
Yep, same here. And everyone has just told me I'm an asshole/brat, etc my whole life who know one is ever going to love. What a bunch of fucking idiots
As a 33 year old woman I am beyond humiliated I have these and nobody knows. My dad made fun of me today for it. He's a lot older than I am ..He's 83...so I get it..but I feel alone . I've always been alone. 33 and fighting this by myself for this long...I'm tired -_-...
Hey don’t be humiliated be empowered.
@@TheAspieWorld thank you! Really! I had my mom sit down and watch a lot of you're videos just now . I also regularly share you're stuff on Facebook hoping someone will get it without telling them this is me because like I said I'm to embarrassed
I know how you feel. Same here. Stay strong 💪 there's alot of bad days, but the good ones make up for them xx
@@sysye thank you 💗
Hey, you're not alone, im 32 and been having them all my life. Please stay positive.
I know a meltdown is coming when I can’t stop rambling about something that’s on my mind and I keep on going until I just go nuts and cry and scream
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I find that happens when I am over-tired (rambling - I rarely have meltdowns because I walk away, pet the horses, do gardening or chores, or watch a video = anything to derail the overwhelm.)
I get this itchy irritated feeling
I literally just stop myself from breathing and let my face turn red, then I quickly exhale all the air out of my lungs, then inhale. Not healthy or safe at all imo, but it's the best, most effective method for calming myself down I've ever known.
Me too!
I took me SO LONG to realize when someone asked me for a ride randomly that it caused me to have a meltdown. Like if I know the night before I'm okay, but if it's last minute it makes me so irrationally angry.
Ah yes, anxiety build up.
Me too!! Omg I thought I was just a bitch 😂
@@Realestatepenny the struggle is real.
I never liked rides, rollercoasters and when I was expecting, I felt the speed of one of those fast trains more, I now feel nervous when going into them ..
But yes, I do get uneasy when there is an acceleration...
Actually sensory overloads have rarely lead to meltdowns for me. Occasionally they may contribute to shutdowns. The overloads for me are always about emotions, other people, myself and relationships. I might feel hurt or upset and everything that all people have said to me in life eventually gets too much.
YES! Exactly this
Yes, I'm an introvert and meltdowns happen from internal overload.
@@JaelH7 THIS.
This
Please explain in detail. I need to understand for my job. Thanks.
Whenever I have a meltdown I always try to hold it in because i always think people don't understand, even if my dad has Asperger's. It hurts alot and I have to go to my room most of the time to let it all out.
Yeah it’s not a nice thing so I can totally understand that!! Heyy I have a free autism coping secrets master class you can watch it here: www.copingsecrets.com/masterclass Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
I also used to hold a lot,but then I felt safe enough to let people know Im not okay. Closest ones judged. But they just don't understand.
I have autism, and I become very irate when people argue, often times to the point where I will scream and hit my head, and will also punch doors, walls, or myself and break things.
Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
Oh, my God! I hate it wen people argue. The anger I feel from them is too overwhelming and I have no choice but to leave the room. My body physically cannot take it.
Lol I usually argue first and then when they argue back I get mad
Freak
My son is breaking down things around him since childhood, he is now adult, still the same. He is supper intelligent. He still lives with me at 43. It is hurting me, so much to see his anger. I do not know what to do. I may say something and see him so much upset.
Uncomfortable crying o.m.g. Both my brothers are on the spectrum, because I’m a girl people just called me “emotional”
Exactly
Same ✋✋✋
That's because statistically speaking, women are much less likely to get diagnosed with autism
Ooof. Yes.
It’s better than a dude being emotional
I have meltdowns constantly. I was diagnosed last year and Im 27. Always thought I was crazy or broken... Cannabis seems to help/prevent meltdowns and help control how strong they are... I just get embarassed because I wish I could control them more. I really appreciate your videos. They help me feel like Im not some broken person. I know Im not but the feeling can be sometimes overwhelming... Your amazing. Thank you for helping people understand the spectrum ♡
I feel less broken too reading your words and watching this video.
This is the same with me,i was diagnosed a month ago with autisim andI have meltdowns all the time, especially in school and I have to focus all of my power onto not having a panic attack in front of everyone and them thinking that there is something wrong with me. It’s really hard to keep up this façade all the time...
U don't have to pretend it's ok it don't really matter what other ppl think . U do u . 🤗
@@mz2535 not weed helped me loads
Delta 8 gummies help a lot and has helped free my of a 6 month obsession. Also it helped my mood.
Also, comfort them verbally. Touching them will escalate their anger/anxiety. And never ever ever ever ever say "calm down".
My girlfriend is calming down when I pet her and tell her to calm down
Yes, I also need to be held. Some of us need to be held, and some of us can’t stand the touch. When I’m having a meltdown I just crave for arms to hold me tight
I need to be talked to for a while, then hugs off and on until I'm calm enough to be somewhat affectionate again.
What words should be used?
Cosmic Weirdo absolutely! The worst way to calm someone during meltdown: 1. Being yelled and screamed at by your partner 2. Being told to calm down (in a angry abusive way). Verbal abuse never helps calm a person who is having a crying meltdown or anxiety attack.
Many of my friends are autistic. I have many similar signs, but have been diagnosed with ADHD and not Autism.
I get sensory overload a lot when I go out, but it usually causes intense dissociation, so I don't outwardly react much.
And My parents won't let me wear headphones in public to cancel noise. They say people will make fun of me.
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Earbuds may be a good option.
I used to think i was going crazy when i had these outbursts; until my recent diagnosis. Everything now becomes clear
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I’m the mother of a 16 yr old Aspie. I’m trying to learn how to understand him and help him into adulthood. Your videos are awesome for me.
My son is also 16. I’m on here to learn also. Does your so go to mainstream high school
Yes he does as we live in rural Queensland and there are no other options. It is difficult for him as his mind is about 10 but he is in classes with 15 or 16 year olds.
How about your son?
I have a 21 year old son and he’s only just been diagnosed. He’s been having meltdowns his entire life. Until we got the diagnosis it was very hard to understand but when we saw the psychiatrist he told him what helps so now I do what he said. It really shortens the meltdown. Thanks for being so relatable and informative. :0)
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I was recently diagnosed with high functioning autism and these videos are helping me to understand more about myself. (In short, thanks.)🙂
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My ex wife would make fun of me. Tell me I’m
Disgusting. All
She would have to do is ask me why I’m
Mad. Even if I wasn’t mad she would argue and push until I blew up then is usually say “woooow”. What the duck is wrong with you. I was usually having a good day up to that point but, I hope she isn’t, but she has several traits of narcissistic personality disorder. I would open up to her, I eventually stopped, but any trauma I went through she would torture me with until I would scream and punch the wall. A few times she was physically abusing me once I was smelting down. For me there is no pain at that point, so I would
I would laugh at her at. I still don’t know why, but it enraged her and I would
Feel like I was regaining control. I wasn’t.
I have Asperger's but I've only had a few real meltdowns in my adult life, though I'm familiar with the feeling of being overloaded - I'm usually ok once I've had some quiet time to process. I also try to plan well enough to avoid being caught off guard, as you say.
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Richard Southworth I don't so the head hitting and all does this mean I'm not actually aspie :o?
My son retreats to his own space and prefers being alone.
I’m glad you haven’t had many breakdowns. They suck. I speak from experience.
Chloe Mcholoe you most likely are. All of us are different. I do the head hitting. I don’t understand why I do it. It hurts but I keep doing it!
A video addressing meltdowns, thank you for making this. Folks have a lot of misunderstandings around meltdowns so thank you as always for your perspective!
Thank you for the kind words and thank you for the comment!!!
I have Asperger's syndrome myself. I have had meltdowns at work and home. I also have insomnia and don't get enough sleep.
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I would say its bills for me that cause a most of my meltdown... I hate Adulting
Yeah it sucks 😢
I had to quit my last job cause I was severely sleep deprived for extended periods of time. I don't think I'll ever be able to sleep on a reliable schedule but I hope we get there one day!
@@patricioansaldi8021 You will, we all face some sort of adversity
As someone with Autism, who has attempted to hide their emotions and meltdowns their entire life (not successfully I might add), I am grateful for further education and videos like yours. I am now able to discuss my experiences with people in my life. Thank you :)
I care for a five year old boy, an aspie. His mother works a lot, so I can give him some one on one time. I’m learning a lot from your videos. Thank you. I find that this little boy is still trying to identify his emotions and manage them for socially acceptable situations when he goes to school. I’ve grown close to him even though I’m not related. We have built a trust between us and he is opening up to me. At his age, I find that when he has a meltdown it’s generally when he’s very tired, or hungry, or bored. He allows me to hug him and I gently rock him and quietly talk to him with positive affirmations. I’ve learned to see the meltdown coming and quickly divert him to another activity. Sometimes he wants quiet time alone on his iPad to play a few games I downloaded for him. Other times , directing him outside to the garden(he has a vege plot ) or. water play for giggles.
I have noticed he can’t cope if his mum has overloaded his schedule, or he has just spent the weekend with his father. I did discover that favourite foods do calm him down, so when you mentioned that I felt a warm feeling of accomplishment. I’m doing something right. I will also implement your other suggestions as well.
Keep up the good work, you never know just who you’re reaching and providing a window of understanding and advice, not only to Aspies, but those who care for them.
My 9 year old son has Aspergers, I have noticed his meltdowns increase in severity & quantity with age. I am desperate to help him so I greatly appreciate your videos. He tends to self harm so tips on reducing or preempting any meltdowns are invaluable! Thank you so much! I am so grateful I found your channel!
Hey no problem!!! Thank you for the kind words and thank you for the comment!!!
I have aspergers and I manage my meltdown risk by using the things that calm me consciously each day.
For me that's allowing time for myself to flap or stretch each day...I just think of that as being time to work the autism out of my bones and it's a relief like yawning. I find if I do it whenever I feel like it, it comforts me to know that I can always work out some of anxiety that way if I need to in an emergency. That's important for me because my worries have often taken the form of what will I do if there's an emergency and I can't be on my own or get home???!!! And sometimes I find new comforting movements by consciously indulging them!
Other things I do...lots of bouncing on my rebounder. Listen to Chopin or Radiohead. Have a bath with epsom salts and essential oils. Holding fabric over my mouth. Wearing corsets (not such a good technique in summer as you get too hot!). Sticking to eating safe foods and bottled water throughout the day. CBD oil has really helped me too. It definitely takes the edge off my fried senses. ♡
I'm 45 this year and I would like to say to younger autistic people, you do learn to manage your life better over time and I have MASSIVELY less meltdowns now than I used to. It was something that would happen every 2 or 3 weeks. It's a good job I manage them better and avoid them more because these days they take me longer to recover from physically - I just feel the exhaustion so much more than when I was a kid!!!
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I get the thing of getting into safe place if I get some kind of panic attack or something. And something I had especially when younger but still sometimes till this day I'd begin to worry if there is wc close to me do I can go somewhere to be behind closed doors without other people. On the worst cases it also turns my stomach upside down and I start to panic even more about wcs because last thing I want is to soil myself. This has caused very uncomfortable situations when I was in school and later in higher studies. Now I'm working in a place where I feel very comfortable so I don't get these attacks there and people there are aware of my condition and give me space to be weird as I do my job well anyway.
That's an important point. Sometimes you can be honest about autistic traits and people will be accomodating - which removes a massive amount of the anxiety! ♡ For me, one thing is carrying a bottle of evian around and everyone who knows me knows I drink water so it doesn't seem rude to them if I don't accept a drink they offer. That sort of acceptance is important because even if drinking a strange drink from a strange cup doesn't trigger a meltdown, it can be unnecessary stress for me. When I worked in a large office I was really lucky the person I sat with could tell if I can into work non verbal and he would talk to people who came over to me instead of me talking. Him doing that probably stopped me having a few meltdowns at work! ♡♡♡
Yes! It does get better. While I've only just recently started to learn language to describe what I was experiencing, over the years I have learned my own personal limits and I understand better now how to both prevent and deal with the occasional overload breakdown. Getting enough sleep and eating small meals more often instead of two large ones helps keep my system level. As does getting regular exercise.
Chopin and Radiohead are my go-to's as well!!!! Also essential oils, comfort foods. Maybe will try CBD oil :)
Thank you! My son’s friend just had a meltdown 45 mins ago and my son had one the other night. They were both listening to this video. I’m so thankful that my aspie has another aspie friend.
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Lol wtf going on around you
I rarely have meltdowns as an autistic person, but when I do, they are rough, they can last for days, at school, embarrassing myself. My dad's side of the family don't believe I have Aspergers and think Dr Burg is rubbish at her job, which makes it even harder when I'm at my dad's having a meltdown.
I want to spread awareness.
my daughter hits her self, or plugs her ears. I Stimm, a LOT when I'm getting to that meltdown point. I use to cry, or go inside myself, now I fidget with my clothes, or say "Oh my" my college professor taught me how to use the two Stimms instead of not speaking or interacting, crying or getting real mad. Problem is, its kinda hard to explain to everyone on Earth why I say "Oh my" when I get triggered. Good part is, less people notice, so I don't feel as weird in public.
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Thanks for your amazing videos. My son is on the spectrum and and I use your videos to help explain things for my family who struggle to understand my son. It’s taught me a lot too so thank you. Not sure you realise how much affect and help your videos have on lives xx
Thank you for the kind words and thank you for the comment.
Tasha Lawrence me too Same situation & Dans videos really help me understand my sons condition. Were still in the beginning stages as he was just diagnosed 2 weeks ago so it’s all still new to us but now watching these videos a lot of it is making sense.
I had no idea this was what I was doing. I developed all these elaborate plans to prevent these types of meltdowns, but I never told anybody. Just, wow! This is an eye opening video for me.
I get overwhelmed a lot were it triggers my anxiety. And when my anxiety kicks in i get panic-attacks, sucks !!!!!!!
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What does that mean. I don't understand your comment.
It means peace.
Thanks for telling me.
Jerry Johnson II just remember it sucks more of for the rest of us non spazzes who have to tolerate it
My brother is an Aspie diagnosed in his mid 50s, I am his caregiver. He was totally misunderstood from birth, didn't walk or speak until age 3. I'm the younger sister, our much older sister is my source of information. Our parents took him everywhere and got no diagnosis. My mom did not know how to get him to do every day tasks, so he was always waited on constantly. He married a very controlling woman who told him when to breathe! When she passed away my mom got him back. He still feels entitled to be taken care of and tends to meltdown when I won't do certain things for him, or I'm late doing a task for him...like making up his pill cases. This is difficult because i just finished caring for our dad for 8 years. He had Alzheimer's disease. I'm tired and exhausted myself. I'm on full disability. I know this isn't true but sometimes I feel like he has a list of things that piss me off and try to accomplish at least 5 per day. Oddly enough i taught inclusion classes for 7 years with students on the autism spectrum. They didn't annoy me, my brother frequently does. Sigh, just keep going.
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i started talking when i was 5 so
@@sarahelogbani1578 so were you diagnosed early?
Even though it is hard to be a caregiver and not to mention challenging and exhausting... He is very lucky to have you. And he most likely has a hard time showing/expressing it. We are who we love and love is all. Stay strong, you're a blessing! Happy new year ;)
Lisa Mieth my situation is nearly similar to your I know it is not easy stay courageous ❤️
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS VIDEO! This is SO hard for other people and my family to understand. Sometimes my adult daughter with Aspergers also gets aggressive with me during these melt downs as well as self harming, and other people take it personally when they see this. You are SO helpful describing these melt downs from the perspective of someone who experiences them. I seriously want to cry because you are helping me explain my daughter's condition to others to give them the opportunity to be more compassionate to her.
You are more than welcome!! Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
About two months ago, my boyfriend had his first meltdown in front of me. He and I planned on spending an afternoon doing some bowling, but his little nephew came home early and started needing my boyfriend's attention. My boyfriend and I didn't get to leave his residence until late in the afternoon. Once we got to the bowling alley, it would have been a three hour wait for a lane. Instead, we headed back to his place to have dinner. Once we got back to his house he mumbled something under his breath and started to hit his head. The day didn't go as he would have liked for us. I reassured him that I was game to try again on our next date. But I reassured him his nephew should always have top priority and I can wait.
Having backup plans and allowing room for predictable improvisation has earned me brownie points with my boyfriend. 😁
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ILoveAstronomy nnb
Think long and hard before you marry him. It is a frustrating life.
@@glendabliss2270**holds up help sign××
ILoveAstronomy your boyfriend sounds exactly like me, someone who has active meltdowns rather that passive. A bit like a child in a mans body who has temper tantrums. That is what I do when I meltdown so shame on me!!! Because I’m autistic is that no excuse? The cynical part of me is saying I hope you’ve left him since this comment because of his behaviour. I’ve never had a relationship and because I respect girls I wish to never get into a relationship with one because no one deserves to put up with my bad behaviour, so out of kindness and respect for them, I will accept I will always be alone, because I am 25 and too far gone down the line to change my meltdown behaviour! And yes I get jealous of other autistic people who act mature and are younger than me, because I know I will never be like them. Unfortunately I am the autistic person people will get to hate!! I have failed myself! That’s just life I’m afraid! 😡😡😡😢😢😢😢 am actually in meltdown writing this
Great video Dan! I have asperger's and I tend to get meltdowns when situations don't go as planned, or when I have to socialize in loud and chaotic environments. I usually get headaches, or an urge to start scratching myself during these meltdowns . Thank you for helping me deal with them! Greetings from Brazil!!!
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Thank you Dan! I've been experiencing meltdowns more recently due to all kinds of stress factors in my life. Just listening to this video was like a peer support situation. Helps with generating a self - compassionate attitude.
Self - compassion by the way is a topic I recommend to everyone dealing with these kinds of challenges in their lives.
Great vid. I don't know about anyone else, but when I'm having a meltdown I can actually feel it physically as well as emotionally. Anger gets built up and I can physically feel the anger running through my body. When I hit something it's because I have this overpowering need to release the anger. Also, gaming is my go to for calming and relaxing, but unfortunately you're looked down upon in today's society if you're an adult that enjoys gaming. I'm new on my journey to discovering I have Asperger's so at least now I understand myself and why I do things a whole lot more. These vids help immensely.
Geez, wow, so I've been stimming, having trouble understanding social situations and cues, obsessing over certain things and being irrationally angry at so many things my entire life and I've always thought that I was crazy. I just two days ago found your videos and binge-watching them all I realize that I most likely am probably on the Autism spectrum. I had no idea because my parents apparently never saw anything off with my behaviour and often treated my weird stimming movements and meltdowns as me being a 'bad' kid. But they also had me when they were older and I have a chromosomal genetic mutation so that definitely makes me more likely to have something, I also had to go to speech therapy until I was 8 or so. I had no idea, but this made things so much clearer, I will have to see a specialist now, wow, thank you so much, you are so effective at educating, thank you.
Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
Hi Dan.... so my 13 year old is the person with aspergers. This video is really good. One of the best ways to be able to deal with the anxiety is to know the triggers. As with my son we always stick to routine as much as possible and tell him what to expect. But as you said melt downs happen. With my son I always felt acknowledging I understand he is upset seemed to help. But after a certain point of no return, on the meltdown, I would wait until he was ready to talk about what happened, as you said sometimes days later, but it did help!
Yeah!!! Hey thank you for the info and thank you for the kind words and thank you for the comment!
Something I've noticed I do when I get very overwhelmed or stressed is that I squeeze things really hard, rub my hands really vigorously, or pull my own hair (not pull it out, but tugging it pretty hard). I didn't realize the hair pulling thing was a more common reaction. Thank you so much again, Dan for helping to educate the community!
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Also If I have a meltdown, I start crying and breathe really hard.
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Same, except mine starts with anger, screaming, and hitting things (objects) that hurt my ears. One of my triggers are loud roaring trucks. I have trouble sleeping because I have to hold my ears and put on an ASMR video. I definitely can't handle change. Yesterday, I had to quit two games I loved and played for years because of the stupid connection in the game doesn't work. If I get lost, driving, I end up in a meltdown. It happened when I with my friend in the car and got lost, and she had to calm me down and help us get back home. Props to her! Other than that, I'm suffering from noises. In public, I'm trying to hold it in and not meltdown in public like I did in 8th grade (crying, banging head). As an adult, in public, it's a "fight or flight" response. At home, it's meltdowns.. After so many meltdowns, I end up depressed and crying.. ;( Right now, I'm having a meltdown towards these roaring vehicles outside! I just can't take it! It's just every five seconds, "RRRRRRRRrrrrr.. " It's driving me crazy! >.
Ditto. 🙏❤️
Let it all out
I worry for my grandson, aged 5. He's isolated at school whilst he tries to integrate into his classes (but he does have a fantastic support group), he only does half days. My heart just cries out for him and I need to know how to help.
Late diagnosis here. Was diagnosed at mid 30s. I was also a working professional in the field of autism, handling autistic kids to teenagers. During those years, I saw myself in these kids/teenagers.
I've been living so long without knowing I'm an Aspie. Am very glad that I am clear about who I really am.
I have tons of regulation strategies to calm myself down, no longer getting pissed every single second. Took off my masking when needed, and never felt so happy.
Yes!!! For my family (myself and my three teenagers), we have to have plan A, B,C and D. We bring earbuds/headphones, sunglasses, zippered hoodies, game systems, chewing gum and fidgets. We can recognize each other getting escalated and try to help each other defuse before things get ugly. However that being said, we have left many places, gone to the dressing rooms, went back to the car and even just went back home many, many times over the years, just to try again later. In our family, we have panic attacks, raised voice levels, toe walking, self-hitting ( thankfully, as we have learned triggers, this does not occur often now), crying, pacing floors, stimming and rocking. Thank you for all of the videos and for giving everyone a "real" look into our lives.
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I have Asperger's and have had meltdowns my whole life. When I was a kid and teen I just had no control over it, it would suddenly start bubbling up and before I knew it I was beyond the point of no return. Now as an adult I'm usually self-aware enough that I can de-stress before it happens or at least get in a private space first, but sometimes it still happens in public. I'm 25 and I thought it was finally over because it had been over a year meltdown-free, but then I had one a couple months ago, full out screaming and rolling on the floor in front my friends, it was a humiliating and humbling experience. I tried to play it off as a joke but I don't think they were buying it.
It can be very distressing. I would just try to embrace your difference and be awesome and proud of who you are.
To be honest, having a family is my number one reason for overloads and melt-downs. I can handle up to two or three interruptions, when I (for example) learn, but when they just keep interrupting me, I get very angry. The strange thing is that my family as a whole has NEVER learned when it's better to just leave me alone. I can't understand that, because I show certain degrees of stress, and it would enable them to know when to stop bothering me. But they just keep on and on and on until I explode and then they seem to wonder what just happened LOL To me, this is just stupid. I explain that behaviour to myself with their less logical thinking (at least that's what it seems so me). If they were able to logically decide what they'd do, they surely wouldn't do that....I think...
Yeah, that is understandable.
I grew up in a emotionally abusive house and when I would have a meltdown, I would be held down on the floor until I calmed down. Now as an adult I have a personality disorder on top of asd, depression and severe anxiety. I unfortunately was not diagnosed until this year, I am 36.
Hope you get better 👏👏👏🤍
It’s like holding a wild animal down
I received a schizoaffective diagnosis since they said something like I can’t have bipolar and ASD together without this diagnosis or something
I'm always curious as to how medical professionals define a personality disorder with a person who is also on 'the spectrum'. I mean being autistic presents as a personality disorder itself.
Hey, I have Asperger‘s. I’ve been watching your videos for a a while I use your videos to share awareness or whatever you wanna call it I don’t know 222 break the naivety of autism and Asperger’s. I am high functioning, but I still feel things all the time and this video showed me what a real meltdown feels like. I don’t know I feel justified when I listen to you.
Thanks for this video. My son has just been diagnosed with ASD. We don't have the classification of aspergers due to changes in diagnosis protocol but we were told this is what best fits him. He is 14 and having difficulty with controlling his emotions. He has been having more frequent meltdowns. I hope I can use this video to help him. X
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My 5 year old daughter has just recently been diagnosed with high functioning autism. Also, my 32 year old sister has just been diagnosed with the same after years of having diagnosis of borderline personality disorder, anxiety and depression. She has had a hard time growing up but has been doing significantly better for the past 7 years since meeting her fiance. He has been wonderful for her.
It's been really emotional for my sister given my daughters diagnosis, she worries a lot for her but is pleased that we didn't have to wait so long to learn what is actually going on!
My mother, her twin sister and I also display very faint Aspie/Autistic traits but in ways that if anything have just been beneficial.
We all have all have a much greater understanding of each other now, unfortunately we all live in different counties but the support from my family for my wee one has been overwhelming!
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Guys, stuffed animals can help a lot with meltdowns. I used to lose control and hurt myself several times a day, but I bonded closely to a beanie baby that I now carry everywhere, even in public. My stuffed cat has helped by being a close friend. She has limited my meltdowns to just once or twice a month instead of every day. It took awhile to bond but it's really been worth it! 🐈
Thanks!! My daughter (10) has Asperger's and is intuitively doing what you recommend after meltdowns. Awesome. It's good to know we're just on the right path with everything! Your videos are just so comforting and helpful! and funny!! :)
This was a really good video. I like having my Bluetooth headphones on and walking around listening to it. It calms me down. White noise type of thing. I really enjoy your videos. Great job!
Hey thank you for the kind words and thank you for the comment!!!
I recently had a meltdown that was one of the worst I have ever experienced. Long story short, police showed up who in turn forced me to leave in an ambulance and I was taken to the local hospital. They forced me into a room and put me on suicide watch and took all of my clothes from me. I tried talking to them after I calmed and explain that I have Aspergers and asked them to call my therapist. They threatened me and told me "I am the charge nurse, and if you don't shut your mouth I will restrain you and forcibly sedate you." It took nearly 24 hours before I was finally allowed to see the hospital "therapist" who instantly knew what was going on and I was allowed to leave. In all of those hours I was not feed, was barely able to get water from them. I have never been treated more poorly in my life. It sent me into a very depressed state and I haven't wanted to leave my house much since. I just recently received an over $2000 bill from the hospital for this.
Ouch!!!
Omg you poor thing....i have money and if you're ok with it ill send it all...@Todd
I was diagnosed with AS when I about 4 yrs old. I went to therapy for it as a child but didn't as a adult. I was hoping that this would phase out over time, but recently I'm learning that's not the case. My "meltdowns" are caused by a load of stress and negative forces coming down on me all at once (for example stress at work, at home, plans ideas and dreams not coming together or being achieved etc.)
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My son has high-functioning Autism, he’s 16. Thank you so much for all of the videos that you make, they are a very big help to me 😊.
Hey you are welcome!!
Just subscribed today. My partner has aspie and his meltdowns are daily and huge. I think your channel will help me understand what he’s feeling and help him more
Hey that is awesome!! Thank you so much for the comment!
Very helpful Dan. Thank you! I have a few cousins with autism, I have a Sunday School student with autism and one of my a good friend's son has autism and asperbers. I watch you every week. Thanks again
Hey no problem!!! Thank you so much for the kind words and thank you for the awesome comment!
After my meltdown or anytime I feel down, Snacks do help me. I also like to wrap myself in my heavy blanket and watch my mental health playlist. Its an amalgamation of funny videos, words of encouragement and cute animals
I would say its bills for me that cause a most of my meltdown... I hate Adulting
Yes it is very difficult.
My boyfriend has AS and I knew nothing about it when we first started dating. He tends to manage it pretty well, but I felt the needed to know more about the condition so I could understand him better. Your videos have really helped me understand his behaviour more and now we have a really healthy relationship with lots of communication. He said he was actually really pleased that I took the time to look into AS and learn about it, as none of his previous relationships had done that before. He said it made him feel like I really understood him and that it showed that I care about him. Your videos have been really helpful in my understanding of AS, and therefore my boyfriend, so thank you!
Hey that is awesome!! Thank you!
I love your realness mate. Getting my diagnosis soon. Just turned 22 and these videos so relatable to anyone whos faced stigma for being different. Life's overwhelming for someone with autism.
I felt like I was a broken human but watching ur videos is helping me throw a lot of this once again thank you so much for all you do :3.
For many years I went hiking with friens every summer, for a period of two weeks. And it was catastrophic because every time I suffer meltdowns and anger issues, the unusual circumstances just pile up until I break out. I thought I was some kind of psycho and a terrible person, but now that I've learned that I am an Aspie, I can see a way I can fix this with my friends, if they would make accomodations for me to have enough time alone and activities of my choice.
I recently went camping with a friend and our children. It was worth it for the nature and experience and I am grateful but I definitely had meltdowns and skipped meals to just be alone in a tiny tent ☹️
Hey man the product is bogus.
Dang! I have been using it and felt petty good :(.
The Aspie World when you talked about it it seemed sketchy, also you could just be feeling good because of the placebo effect (I don't remember what it is called when it is not about placebos). There is also a possibility that it does just work (Though I think that is unlikely.
The Aspie World If you like it, keep it. Maybe it's more a spiritual thing then but humans do have a need for that and I think this need itself is somewhat scientifically proven at this point, as well as placebo and imagination excercises being able to have actual positive effects. If it worked for you, keep imagining it filters toxins from your blood and enjoy the power of the human mind aiding the body in whatever it actually does do.
The replies are true. The placebo effect is a scientifically proven phenomenon. I believe it's McGill university that was doing work with a simulated MRI machine to treat children with symptoms of anxiety, ADHD, and other behaviors. The children were actually told that the process was going to help them heal themselves--essentially told about the placebo effect. Even being told that it really wasn't the machine, the children all made remarkable improvement. So, basically, if something works, great! Go with it! 😊
There are numerous studies that show the placebo effect still works even when people are directly told it's only a placebo.
...so if I choose to believe that Oreos are medicinal no one can tell me otherwise!
My son was recently diagnosed with Asperger's and OCD at twelve. So thankful to have the opportunity to learn how to communicate better with him. It's been a struggle. ❤️
the more I watch your videos the more convinced I am that I have mild symptoms of Aspergers, I don't really hit myself or anything like that, but I've had to go to my room and hit the pillows and cry, and I didn't know why I did that, but yeah it was connected with changing routines. Something that has helped me is having good communication, knowing exactly what we're going to do, or if the person is thinking about something else. My boyfriend likes to change a lot, so I have to ask him constantly if he's thinking about changing the plans or things around the house, so I get prepared and not explode.
I've been diagnosed Asperger last week and trying to learn myself and how I work better. I believe I have meltdowns, but I am not sure I am able to recognise them yet. All this is helpful, but how can I be sure I had a meltdown and not only a panic attack or a rage attack?
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That's the problem I always had. I told my therapists I have panic attacks for years before knowing that the "panic attack" or even "rage attack" were indeed meltdowns(that's why I was so late diagnosed with asperger). because I had no fear for death while panicking and thats what i have been told so is the main thing of "panic attacks".. my language doesn't even have a word for "meltdown". So I looked at the triggers. Is there a pattern? In my case my triggers for example were/are specific noises; when I have to be in a group with more than 2 people for in my opinion long time; when I don't have the chance to go out of a situation in discussions. And all of them because of sensory overload.
As a kid I cut myself then I bumped my head against walls etc. Wiggling for and back.
And if you can't see yourself in this- it doesn't have to mean anything. We're all different. ^^
Maybe if some therapist asks you about panic attacks, ask him what a panic attack for them is or just tell them what you are doing while panicking. For me personally that's pretty hard to talk about and if you don't want to you don't have to
I have meltdowns. It like my brain turns off and I can't do anything to calm down. 😣
Please talk about the relations between Aspergers and depression. (It would be very helpful)
I'm a 21 year old with Asperger's, and I've learned to control my meltdowns over the years. Yeah they still happen, usually through emotional expression, but I feel that I've learned to control the extent and frequency. Every time something doesn't go according to plan, someone ruins my day, or whatever it is, I've learned to catch myself just before I'm about to have my outburst. I'd take deep breaths, and try to distract my mind with a plan b to prevent stress. I've also obtained the bad habit of preventing/lessening meltdowns through passive aggressive comments/behavior, immediately followed up by a light hearted joke. To me this feels like I'm expressing myself, yet at the same time I'm not, and I'm joking around, so that makes it okay.
I'm 39 and believe that I am on the spectrum. Not had an official diagnosis but your videos are a big help
i didn´t realise that the uncontrolable crying was a meltdown,I used to do that pretty much all the way through puberty.
I still do that now as an adult but it feels like an energy release now and feels good rather than like I'm actually sad or upset. Like energy builds up, I go have a crying fit and feel better
I'm 31 and just learning about my condition and my wife came home and seen that I closed my eyes with my fist. After I lost my phone in the Uber I took. Tried making a long story short.
Hey awesome to have you here!! Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
I also have Asperger's. For me when I reach my overload, I tend to get overly violent. For me, just a bit of shadow boxing or some form of solo athletic activity helps calm me down.
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This video helps me tremendously to understand my two grandsons who have Aspergers and how to help them when they melt down. Thank-you for this information!
I'm a 62 mother of a 23 y/o Asperger son. Your podcasts have been so helpful into understanding my son and what triggers his meltdowns, and how to manage our relationship.
Got diagnosed three months ago. Glad to know I'm not the only one who punches their head. Thanks for talking about it.
Sometimes I think it’s modern society. Can’t cope with the craziness of it all.
its this. this is the answer.
Hi there! I am a mom of a 5 year old son that was diagnosed with ASD and I am researching for him. I came across your videos and some things are starting to make more sense. We didn't really see autism in him. The more aspberger videos we watch, the more we believe he has aspbergers.
I don't know if you'll find it handy or not, but Asperger's was an old term that has been dissolved in most professional material, so while you research try looking up Autism Level 1 too (which is essentially the same as Asperger's because it is just autism to a lesser degree). Hope you find answers to your questions.
I have a family member that suffers from Aspergers. It is unfortunate that sometimes individuals with either mental illness and/or disorders do not wish to seek help. As a result, they impact others around them in particular family members. I watch this show in order to have a better understanding as to what symptoms a person with Asperger experiences? And how to assist her in the process
I was only just diagnosed with ASD and moderate SPD last week (I’m 60, just as an aside), and a moderate panic disorder mainly related to sensory overload. Whereupon my psychiatrist immediately blew off my diagnosis (he made the referral and chose the provider, a member of his own practice!), so I’m back in limbo. One thing I notice is that I’m MUCH lower in energy than you. In fact, I have to read transcripts of your vids because you speak so fast. But I’m so grateful for the information you share!
Oh wow that’s a late diagnosis! Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
Too late, long since subscribed!
What I do when I have a meltdown is just crawling into a corner, rocking myself and crying or yelling
It is a personal experience and a difficult one at that. Thank you so much for the comment!
I tend to have meltdowns most often when my wife and I are having an argument. I don't know what it is specifically about having an argument, but something about the negative energy of it just causes me to have out of control panic, crying, and even sometimes hitting myself as you mentioned. And every couple has to argue sometimes, but there's something about it I just can't handle.
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Sounds like my dad, careful you don’t terrify people bro
Also I feel scared everyday for no reason there is just this feeling inside me that is scared for no reason
I feel my boyfriend has non-diagnosed aspbergers. After dealing with his meltdowns and verbal abuse/yelling/swearing for 6 years I researched this and found out there have been 18 studies and aspies are Vitamin B6 deficient. I got him B6 with magnesium from Amazon and he hasn't had a meltdown since. He gets mildly frustrated but minimal swearing. I highly recommend this if anyone is tired of meltdowns every day. We live in Las Vegas and he went to the SEMA auto show with 190,000 attendees last week and wasn't overwhelmed or irritated once
You hit the nail on the head. Now I can share this with people who don’t believe Asperger’s even exist.
My friends and I are autistic. I only make autistic friends, it's easier you know. One of them is out of school now doing vocational training and the other is with me at school
Oh that is super interesting I have a lot of artistic friends and I think now my closest friends and wife are the autistic friends I have. Have you downloaded my free e-book yet on how to turn traits into superpowers? Https://www.theaspieworld.com/ebook Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
I have Asperger's syndrome and the biggest meltdown I had was a few weeks ago and it was bad I was throwing stuff and crying while also banging my head a punching myself in the face and I'm 17 now that I think about it I am emberresed because of my meltdown.
I understand how you feel.
I never had such a meltdown,i had something similar to panic attacks,i was not trying to hurt myself,i was just isolating myself in a corner or sobbing uncontrollably,hiding under tables,etc. Sometimes when it was too loud or something i just isolated myself in a corner and started crying. My classmates called that corner "the depressive corner" lmao. I am not sure if i have asperger's,i have most of the symptoms.
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Thanks bro ; it's very well explained. I doubt most NT will understand how bad overloads can be but your description is very accurate.
Your helping a lot of people, you don,t even realize,Thankyou
I get these meltdowns a lot.
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What are some good "toys" or devices for Aspie's to use during a meltdown or to try to help prevent a meltdown? I enjoy all of your videos, by the way. Very informative and helpful when dealing with my Aspie boyfriend. Thank you.
Well it depends on your boyfriend, if he likes sounds then get him something that makes continues sound. If he likes soft stuff get him a peace of cloth, etc
A Unicorn Ok, I will have to ask him. Thank you so much for your input and advice.
A rubber band. A pen. My hair. A lid of a bottle. A coin. A piece of paper, a string, keychain. and all those things work for me.
I have adhd too though. I just dont like actual toys. Cause they are toys. They are less subtle, lose them and usually have less freedom.
Just keep like something in your pocket. Some basically trash and you can give to him when he is stressing out. But most likely he already does things like that. It is just easy to forget to carry literal trash.
Dutchik Thank you. I will definitely be getting him something so simple to have with him, wrist band. Oh, is trying to play bored games with him when trying to have a serious conversation with him a good thing to try? To try to avoid so much eye contact and to ease any discomfort or tension that may come along with serious conversations? Or is playing games and trying to have a serious conversation too much to do at the same time for an Aspie? Thank you in advance
Jameka Andrews i dont know if a board game and a serious conversation is too much for him. It is personal. But he will likely be focused on the game too if he actually enjoys it.
But remember. There is a huge difference between eye contact with someone you love. Especially in a relationship with. And a random conversation. (My ex. A lot more severe autism than me. Like to the poiny of once being instutionalized and still bejng in an autistic school constantly had eye contact with me. He had pretty eyes though so it was fine.😅)
Lets be honest. He is most likely calm with you and ok with touching you. Touch with someone you love especially releases endorphines. So maybe just have it while half cuddling on a couch. This can be hard though. In like that you get in the cuddly mindset and like just get all soft and shit.
You can probably just sit down and have a deep conversation.
Im a diagnosed aspie. I have found routine to be enormously helpful to lower anxiety. But my meltdowns usually stem from communication difficulties. During arguments or intense discussion with my bf i find myself building to a meltdown. It typically ends ugly as i try to end the conversation with rudeness in order to go and hide without the conversation pursued. Its been an enormous area of frustration and does appear to be reoccuring. Luckily i am beginning to learn my pattern and am trying to predict before the meltdown happens so i may reduce my stress levels.
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I can’t bear with people berating me constantly. I learnt to ignore unfair criticisms, but when it’s brought up on me over and over and over and over, I just cannot take it. Even if the person may be joking, it hits me on the heart and I just start screaming and I can’t control my angered, sad emotions. It’s uncontrollable and I really don’t get people who use their time to tease me and comment hurtfully on what they don’t like about me, just leave me alone is what I keep saying….. am writing this as I’m suspecting I am on this spectrum to some extent and today I’ve just had a break down. My whole body my whole existence just can’t handle unroutinely unfairly 😭😭😭😭😭 thank you so much for this insight.
Thank you for this video.....
I have a 10 year old with asp/Autism with sever ADHD...now during this covid19 pandemic and him being so sensitive to the energies of others.....you see how the collective energy of fears and anxsity has had a profound effect on symptoms of meltdown and stimming....and it extremely hard for my husband to understand that
My sons hitting himself is not behavioral issue....it's part of his diagnose....but the stresses are the biggest triggers to him.
I aprecheate that I can show this video to my husband...as it can make a difference to him to be able to relate to it comming from another male figure...as well as you being an adult dealing with symptoms can be more relatable to him
Autism would explain many things for the folks in my family, myself included.
Yeah!!!
This video is reminding me a lot of my friends she has these kind of panic attacks a lot especially when theres a change in her routine. (Example: exams and missing her bus) she also struggles with special triggers and sensory overload. I'm starting to wonder if this is anxiety or something more. I'm also curious if she knows herself. Alas I'll do more research
Extremely ironic that this was the topic today because I had a meltdown today haha. Super out of it now.
Aw!!! I am glad you are better!
I only got diagnosed the month I turned 19, which is suprising considering the clear signs in my child (lilo vs myrtle level MMA fights, ostracism from peers do to a lack of assimilation, etc) and this really helps. My mom isn't the best at helping with it, despite having 4 kids who are autistic. Most times, she pushes it to be worse. She has caused me to have them 7 times in a 2 week period, all because she made the situation she forced me to help her with. She would give me all these tasks, and I would get overwhelmed, and I would try to step back and say no and do only one, but oh my God is that not a possibility with her.
I suspect that I have undiagnosed Asperger’s and recently as an adult I’ve had multiple overall sensory overloads which results in me being lethargic, depressed and sluggish for up to a week, just like you said, completely drained! I also had one or two major meltdowns in which I had severe panic attacks and had to force my brain to work to rationalise the situation to overcome the debilitating panic, which also drains me pretty badly. In fact as I am writing this up, I am currently in another overload episode. I’ve been dead sluggish for 3 days... I am so tired and I need help, but I just don’t know where to get help... Playing instrument helps to detangle my mind, but I have no access to any of it at the moment. I’m on a budget 😬
I have Aspergers myself and I've definitely been calmer since I moved to a more quieter area back in April but when I lived in a quite popular student city I had a few big meltdowns. The worst would have to be when I had a huge meltdown because of an inconsiderate flatmate having a really loud boisterous party with super loud music and everyone was drunk and loud :/ Just started crying, hyperventilating and thrashing :/