My Edinburgh tour guide actually was named Craig. I think his mom was supposed to be the real tour guide but she roped him into it because she was busy. “Och aye, Craig will show you around the city.” We think he was a bit high, but he was entertaining and we did make it back more or less on time.
I actually used to be a steward at Edinburgh Castle, and this is pretty spot-on for your inner monologue when you're on day 6, the group is completely stone-faced and it's been drizzling all day. The only one you missed is: "To any Americans in the audience - no, that's not France and that isn't the Eiffel Tower, that's the Burntisland Radio Mast in Fife."
I just came home from a short visit to Edinburgh /St. Andrews. Obviously lots of American tourists do not know geography, and so my caddie took time to explain where France, Spain, and Portugal was in relation to the UK.
@@patrickkelly7085 yeah it is one of those thing men or boys like eg if when we see a well the urge to drop a stone to hear the sound is something that brings joy or when we see a big pond or any big water body we like to skip stone on it. So yes u r correct unless u are referring to only Indian then I have no clue
"At one point the gun would've helped people to tell the time. Now it's just there to keep the people of Leith on their toes." I get that it's just a joke about the noise, but I like to imagine that the neighborhood has a "bald spot" surrounding an ever-deepening crater and that it's anybody's guess whether or not the gun's fully-loaded _this_ time.
The train from Glasgow to Edinburgh. The conductor over the loudspeaker: "arrffff oooO arrfff arrfff eeeedeen oh-ar... eee arrfff". Me: ????? Scottish Girl I'm with: "we'll be arriving in about 10 minutes. The weather is pretty nice and Tesco is having a sale on bananas"
Love your tours. May actually visit some of these places now, never had the inclination before, but growing up in an "historical" area with a similar attitude makes me nostalgic.
Craig sounds like me in my last year as a local tour guide. This is where we process the milk, yes.....you may take pictures....Yes that's the skyr shit....*Sigh* No you may not taste it. Over here we have a thing that's *Sigh* Oh so very important, do not forget the gift shop on your way out *Sigh* Thank you for visiting this ass end of nowhere......Did i say that out loud?
Praise Craig, the best tour guide! And now I'm wondering if there is a specific backstory to why Craig and Sheila don't get along. Probably because I've spent way too much time on the internet.
as a child i was so sad to hear Mons Meg doesn't actually fire a cannonball each time. I think I cried. Now I'm an adult and I realize how absurd it would be, it's a twenty inch cannon! regardless, during the tour I listened to little and stared at the large display of revolvers. I wonder if they still keep a few of those on display
Did the castle tour in 1984. Still recall the retired soldier who was the tour guide. He was charming, very funny, and wouldn’t stop pestering me about my hair. Same colour as yours … Mom was from Glasgow, and she, my eldest sister and I bear the curse of the Freckled Ginger. Thanks, Mom, lol. Greetings from Ontario, Canada! 🇨🇦🖖🏻🇨🇦
I was an Edinburgh tour guide and a woman came flapping out of the royal mile Starbucks once at quarter past one, camera in hand, exclaiming “Did I miss it?! … well, when is it going to go off again today?”
Now I know what I missed on 2018 when I visited from the states and rode a motorbike on the North Coast 500. In Edinburgh we took an open bus tour and strolled around town and enjoyed it. Somehow we skipped the castle tour and deep fried Mars bars but had plenty of haggis and Cullen Skink.
Deep fried mars bars are more of a Glasgow thing, though I can recommend Cromars in St Andrews if you want a slightly bougie one from our second-best* chippie. Glad you appreciated our other offerings!. *Some say it's the best, but I reckon that the one doon the road in Anstruther is slightly better if you don't mind a queue.
Our tour guide at Edinburgh Castle told us that they used to pour boiling hot porridge on any invaders. I was howling, the Americans just stood and nodded.
Nooo... it's hilarious, but the complete opposite of what I experienced when I visited Edinburgh Castle 😂 Our tour guide might have been called Craig, I don't know, but he was funny and energetic and enthusiastic. He also told us that the motto of Scotland, "Nemo me impune lacessit", means "never sit on a thistle when you're wearing a kilt".
Despite the arctic cold, be sure to remove your hat in certain parts of the tour or soldiers will remind you in that polite Scottish way that implies violence is imminent. Was so unnerving I forgot to buy a clan magnet.
I got the chance to visit Edinburgh Castle in August of 2014 when in the UK for the World Science Fiction Convention. We were on our way up to Westray (Orkney Islands) to visit some relatives, and decided to sightsee for a day between flights. When we got up to the castle, it was raining & misting so hard, you couldn't see the tops of the nearby parapets from the ticket line, and -wimps- I mean, other sight-seers escaped the line to head back down for -safety-...I mean, a drier location. My mother and I, being from the Seattle area, looked at each other, grinned, and I said, "It's just like home, isn't it?" "Yes, in the springtime!" And we giggled & stayed in line.
My partner was from Quebec.He was always puzzled by the fact that this country was never,ever,ready for snow & everything ground to a halt if there was more than an inch of the white stuff.He said you had never experienced a real winter if u hadn't known a Canadian one.
After having watched over a score of your videos I have come to the opinion that this particular video is my favorite. Your summation of Mary's life broke my heart and Craig's invitation to email all further questions was perfect. What time is the gun fired every day?😂
@@sarahmayjohn If they had to fire the gun at noon, they would have had to fire 12 times. So that's 12 times more expensive than moving it to 1 o'clock.
I've visited Edinburgh Castle and ... this isn't bad at all. Also, if you're in Edinburgh, visit a very old cemetery where you'll see some familiar names: McGonagal, Tom Riddel, etc. from Harry Potter. Rowling must have drawn some inspiration from that place.
May I some "Holms Clan Magnets ... And maybe some pencils??? Also a swatch of cloth with the genuine Holms Clan Tartan on it? Yes, I am American. A Loch Ness pool float toy would be nice, also. Many thanks in Scotch.....😀
I have been asked, and no im not kidding, ''what time does the 1 o'clock gun go off?'' Another favourite - ''Isn't it neat that they built the castle so close to the shops?''
I recommend staying at Dalhousie Castle just outside Edinburgh. Instead of putting chocolate on your pillow at night, they use a small bottle Macallan whisky.
Dear Sheila, where is the loo in this place? And is it only for looks or can I really use it? Either way, I think I am going to be dropping off "The Big Job" here today.
Cymro Di ... but to make it international & SO correct we will go with the one size fits anything parlance of the time of our time. Nail their balls !!
I plan to memorize all of these and pretend to be a Scottish tour guide when we get over there. Whenever I get depressed by the glib talking heads on TV, I watch these to get a lift from the cynical humor.
I just watched one on the Scottish Parliament and I was surprised there weren’t any comments. I wanted to make a comment, but I was afraid to make a comment. You know, how you don’t want to be the one to break the silence at a funeral? Or a mixer?
Poor Craig. He just doesn't realize that he's NOT a tour guide as such and that he's actually inside Spandau Prison Castle. After they shoved Hess out, they locked Craig up there because he'd presented himself as being the reincarnation of Robert the Bruce, and then went on to claim that he was the current and outright King of Scotland. Adi Amin and Gaddafi spent some time there as well. That's where they "place" all of the self-proclaimed Scottish kings these days.
My Edinburgh tour guide actually was named Craig. I think his mom was supposed to be the real tour guide but she roped him into it because she was busy. “Och aye, Craig will show you around the city.” We think he was a bit high, but he was entertaining and we did make it back more or less on time.
Blessed be Craig.
All hail Craig!!! :)
Wee Craig, Sláinte! 🍻 😂
that's hilarious!
😂
I actually used to be a steward at Edinburgh Castle, and this is pretty spot-on for your inner monologue when you're on day 6, the group is completely stone-faced and it's been drizzling all day.
The only one you missed is: "To any Americans in the audience - no, that's not France and that isn't the Eiffel Tower, that's the Burntisland Radio Mast in Fife."
I just came home from a short visit to Edinburgh /St. Andrews. Obviously lots of American tourists do not know geography, and so my caddie took time to explain where France, Spain, and Portugal was in relation to the UK.
"90% of our revenue comes from selling magnets to Americans".. I bought 4 magnets from my trip 😂
yeah makes sense if indian go there we would do the same magnet they are fun to play with
You must have been attracted to them.
@@patrickkelly7085 yeah it is one of those thing men or boys like eg if when we see a well the urge to drop a stone to hear the sound is something that brings joy or when we see a big pond or any big water body we like to skip stone on it. So yes u r correct unless u are referring to only Indian then I have no clue
@@arkplaysgame3826 I guess the magnet and you being attracted went over your head.
@@patrickkelly7085 yup it flew pass my head woosh
“But she’s very annoying and I’d like to see her suffer.” Hahahah
That's what a True Scot would say!
I swear: I NEVER laugh out loud. That cracked me up. I’m still laughing.
Anybody else sucked in by her videos and mesmerized into watching one after another?
Yep. Went on a nearly 90 minute binge on Saturday. It was great!
'....If you fortified some office blocks' - this is legit best description of a damn place!
Lol, she even paused before saying 1 o’clock so that the tour group can say “1 o’clock” in unison.
"At one point the gun would've helped people to tell the time. Now it's just there to keep the people of Leith on their toes."
I get that it's just a joke about the noise, but I like to imagine that the neighborhood has a "bald spot" surrounding an ever-deepening crater and that it's anybody's guess whether or not the gun's fully-loaded _this_ time.
Someone with a pyrotechnics licence should do something like that 😅
The train from Glasgow to Edinburgh. The conductor over the loudspeaker: "arrffff oooO arrfff arrfff eeeedeen oh-ar... eee arrfff".
Me: ?????
Scottish Girl I'm with: "we'll be arriving in about 10 minutes. The weather is pretty nice and Tesco is having a sale on bananas"
Ya, they do that when they open the crates of Bananas, and find a bunch of Tropical Spiders. Who are dead from the cold, because its fvcking Scotland.
I love her. She is so droll, so gloomy, so awful, so unenthusiastic. It makes me want to go on her tours.
I believe Craig is a male character that she does. Yeh, she nails the character, I'm addicted.
I’ll be visiting Edinburgh next week. Your tours really sold it to me!
Love your tours. May actually visit some of these places now, never had the inclination before, but growing up in an "historical" area with a similar attitude makes me nostalgic.
I live in the Midwest now, which has taught me that there is a difference between historical and just out-of-date.
Craig sounds like me in my last year as a local tour guide.
This is where we process the milk, yes.....you may take pictures....Yes that's the skyr shit....*Sigh* No you may not taste it.
Over here we have a thing that's *Sigh* Oh so very important, do not forget the gift shop on your way out *Sigh* Thank you for visiting this ass end of nowhere......Did i say that out loud?
*EVERYTHING IN EDINBURGH* is at the top of a hill - even the bottom of a hill is at the top of a hill....
Hilarious. The description of Mary pushing out a baby whilst squatting on a rock is probably not too far from the truth.
Craig has a way to make one feel as if they were witnessing history in the making. Well done Craig, well done indeed.
Praise Craig, the best tour guide!
And now I'm wondering if there is a specific backstory to why Craig and Sheila don't get along.
Probably because I've spent way too much time on the internet.
as a child i was so sad to hear Mons Meg doesn't actually fire a cannonball each time. I think I cried.
Now I'm an adult and I realize how absurd it would be, it's a twenty inch cannon! regardless, during the tour I listened to little and stared at the large display of revolvers. I wonder if they still keep a few of those on display
Did the castle tour in 1984. Still recall the retired soldier who was the tour guide. He was charming, very funny, and wouldn’t stop pestering me about my hair. Same colour as yours … Mom was from Glasgow, and she, my eldest sister and I bear the curse of the Freckled Ginger. Thanks, Mom, lol. Greetings from Ontario, Canada! 🇨🇦🖖🏻🇨🇦
I've become an absolute fan of this lass!! Keep them coming please.
that time being ...
...
..
.
one o'clock
I was an Edinburgh tour guide and a woman came flapping out of the royal mile Starbucks once at quarter past one, camera in hand, exclaiming “Did I miss it?! … well, when is it going to go off again today?”
I'm pretty sure that Craig punched me in an Edinburgh pub after a rugby match. This is not America. I won't sue him for it.
"At one point the gun would have helped people to tell the time, now it just keeps the people of Leith on their toes" 😂😂😂
And then I was all like : " blee bla bloo bloo bluh"......AND THEY KNEW WHAT I MEANT! amaze.
Now I know what I missed on 2018 when I visited from the states and rode a motorbike on the North Coast 500. In Edinburgh we took an open bus tour and strolled around town and enjoyed it. Somehow we skipped the castle tour and deep fried Mars bars but had plenty of haggis and Cullen Skink.
Deep fried mars bars are more of a Glasgow thing, though I can recommend Cromars in St Andrews if you want a slightly bougie one from our second-best* chippie. Glad you appreciated our other offerings!.
*Some say it's the best, but I reckon that the one doon the road in Anstruther is slightly better if you don't mind a queue.
I've been to Edinburgh 3 times. Skipped the castle tour the last time.
Our tour guide at Edinburgh Castle told us that they used to pour boiling hot porridge on any invaders. I was howling, the Americans just stood and nodded.
Seems like such a waste.
Nooo... it's hilarious, but the complete opposite of what I experienced when I visited Edinburgh Castle 😂 Our tour guide might have been called Craig, I don't know, but he was funny and energetic and enthusiastic. He also told us that the motto of Scotland, "Nemo me impune lacessit", means "never sit on a thistle when you're wearing a kilt".
I googled that latin phrase, and it's more like "Talk shit, get hit". Which is somehow even more Scottish.
I'll be signing up for your tour at one o'clock. I'll assuredly be admiring the tapestries whilst waiting for the gun.
Yes, we need surly tour guides more often. Mark Twain would've loved her when he visited Europe.
How did the TH-cam algorithm know that I would fall in love with this woman?
Despite the arctic cold, be sure to remove your hat in certain parts of the tour or soldiers will remind you in that polite Scottish way that implies violence is imminent. Was so unnerving I forgot to buy a clan magnet.
I got the chance to visit Edinburgh Castle in August of 2014 when in the UK for the World Science Fiction Convention. We were on our way up to Westray (Orkney Islands) to visit some relatives, and decided to sightsee for a day between flights. When we got up to the castle, it was raining & misting so hard, you couldn't see the tops of the nearby parapets from the ticket line, and -wimps- I mean, other sight-seers escaped the line to head back down for -safety-...I mean, a drier location. My mother and I, being from the Seattle area, looked at each other, grinned, and I said, "It's just like home, isn't it?" "Yes, in the springtime!" And we giggled & stayed in line.
My partner was from Quebec.He was always puzzled by the fact that this country was never,ever,ready for snow & everything ground to a halt if there was more than an inch of the white stuff.He said you had never experienced a real winter if u hadn't known a Canadian one.
I also ate my weight in edinburgh castle rock. I'm not sure how castle rock is edible, but it's pretty good.
It's definitely better for your health than Stephen King's castle rock. That stuff will kill you.
I have done this tour and gathered round the gun repeatedly looking at my watch for the time while waiting for it to go off.
" She's very annoying and I like to see her suffer." Loved it.
What would it look if you fortified some office blocks? I've always thought that.
How much would you charge to give me an extended version of this tour whilst in character? I quite liked the bit at the end.
"-Why do you shoot the one o'clock gun?"
"We scots are cheap; the 12 o'clock gun would have cost too much black powder."
Just discovered ya few days ago. Thanks for the laughs. Blessings to you and yours.
Same here!
What fun! I feel like I’ve toured jolly old Scotland! 😉
After having watched over a score of your videos I have come to the opinion that this particular video is my favorite. Your summation of Mary's life broke my heart and Craig's invitation to email all further questions was perfect. What time is the gun fired every day?😂
You gotta love Scottish humor - even at the expense of Americans.
That may have been the best Edinburg Castle documentary I've ever heard.
We have very large refrigerators in America.
We need lots and lots of magnets to stick stuff to 'em.
Im a Scotts/ American I could sit here and listen to you talk all day...
Gosh this brings me straight back to Uni. I did that tour with anyone who came to visit. Surprised you didn't Crack a Mons Meg joke
Thank you algorythm, she is fantastic!
"It used to be the midday gun, but they moved it to 1 o'clock to save money on ammunition..." : Edinburgh castle tour guides since time immemorial:)
As a Dutchman, I think that's genius.
Lmfao. Do they actually say that? I know it's cheesy but it's a really good joke
What's the joke?
@@sarahmayjohn If they had to fire the gun at noon, they would have had to fire 12 times.
So that's 12 times more expensive than moving it to 1 o'clock.
@@AudieHolland Aaww! Haha. Thanks so much!
Hilarious. Wish I had you showing me around the castle.
Love Edinburgh, been three times. This is hilarious
This lovely lass qualifies as PM....really portrays their attitude toward the common serfs.
Thank you, so much Craig. Sorry to be such a bother. ☺️ Great stuff!
I've visited Edinburgh Castle and ... this isn't bad at all.
Also, if you're in Edinburgh, visit a very old cemetery where you'll see some familiar names: McGonagal, Tom Riddel, etc. from Harry Potter. Rowling must have drawn some inspiration from that place.
These are great! Please do Glasgow!
The whole random tangent about Queen Mary's...tapestries. I can't breathe.
May I some "Holms Clan Magnets ... And maybe some pencils??? Also a swatch of cloth with the genuine Holms Clan Tartan on it? Yes, I am American. A Loch Ness pool float toy would be nice, also. Many thanks in Scotch.....😀
Love the Mary Queen of Scots bit
Lord i love your videos. Delivery so perfect you re probably admired by DHL
Your face is without expresion but you had me grinning the same as I was after your Nessie 'tour'.
Hey Craig! Can I brown bag? I can't do this sober.
Going to be on the tour in a couple of weeks. Sure hope your our guide
A modern day rev I am jolly, brilliant
I love you Eleanor, I always wondered why that rock was so gloomy...
Deadpan comic genius.
The tattoo was amazing! Wish we'd had a tour guide like Craig rather than the audio guide. 😂
I have been asked, and no im not kidding, ''what time does the 1 o'clock gun go off?'' Another favourite - ''Isn't it neat that they built the castle so close to the shops?''
I was told a tourist asked why one of the Queen's palaces was built so close to the railway station.Can't recall where we were though.
@@susanmccormick6022 classics :)
“…if you fortified some office blocks”. 🤣👍
I want to go to Scotland from America. I like the previews thus far.
The tour guide at Springbank Distillery was called Craig.
Despite approaching my 60th birthday, I’ve never yet bumped into another Morton who wasn’t close family….hello Eleanor! Funny girl….
Those eyes.....
Well, I was planing my first trip to Edinburgh Castle this year…. but now I can just spend my savings on a new cheese grater! #WINNING
I’m a loyal subscriber to the theater of the absurd.
I genuinely love the military tattoo, especially the Swiss drum Corp. :D
Craig for PM!
Can't stop laughing. Dundee one next.
The magnets I'm dead lmao
There's a tour I'd take
These cheer me up.
The IDGAF oozes off the screen. Love it.
I recommend staying at Dalhousie Castle just outside Edinburgh. Instead of putting chocolate on your pillow at night, they use a small bottle Macallan whisky.
Thanks Craig.
Absolute zinger of an ending.!!!! Poor Sheila 🤣🤣🤣
Dear Sheila, where is the loo in this place? And is it only for looks or can I really use it? Either way, I think I am going to be dropping off "The Big Job" here today.
Oh you've got to do Culloden
Cymro Di ... but to make it international & SO correct we will go with the one size fits anything parlance of the time of our time. Nail their balls !!
You canni beat this lass 😂 brilliant
How much would I love to actually go round old places with you as a tour guide.
I absolutely adore these. Brilliant.
Could someone explain the Greggs comment she makes in relation getting cardio workout?
Oh dear youre brilliant! Was in Edinburgh castle 2 weeks ago and remembered this video
Strangely attractive young lady.
Like it much. Edinburgh is really astonishing, want to be there again some day. Thank you 😘
I plan to memorize all of these and pretend to be a Scottish tour guide when we get over there. Whenever I get depressed by the glib talking heads on TV, I watch these to get a lift from the cynical humor.
She pushed him out on a gloomy rock.
XDD
OK - what is “The Greggs”?
Sheila is in charge of questions now? We used to have to go to Helen Waite.
I just watched one on the Scottish Parliament and I was surprised there weren’t any comments. I wanted to make a comment, but I was afraid to make a comment. You know, how you don’t want to be the one to break the silence at a funeral? Or a mixer?
The similarity with many Irish docents, hungover or not, clearly indicates a genetic link.
🤣🤣 I love these so much!
That quip about making Sheila Suffer broke me up!
Say, after doing these TH-cams, have you been Fired from your Tour Guiding Work since?
The most memorable American tourist comment ever; ‘why did they build a castle so close to the railway station?’
Poor Craig. He just doesn't realize that he's NOT a tour guide as such and that he's actually inside Spandau Prison Castle. After they shoved Hess out, they locked Craig up there because he'd presented himself as being the reincarnation of Robert the Bruce, and then went on to claim that he was the current and outright King of Scotland. Adi Amin and Gaddafi spent some time there as well. That's where they "place" all of the self-proclaimed Scottish kings these days.