40 yr old Indian woman ... married for 15yrs ... and CHILDFREE BY CHOICE.... not because we HATE children or scared of sleepless nights.... only because we love our unborn children too much we decided not to bring them into this BAD overpopulated world....
@@MegaBloodrain the massive amount of deaths havent even occurred yet. And they're going to soon as climate change worsens. Good god why arent more people freaking out about this?
I'm 42, child free, and loving it! The problem I have with it, is people in my family feel that I owe it to them to take care of them because I have no children. I had to move away from them.
You did the right thing my grandmother was the crypt keeper making herself a burden taking forever to die sucking the life out of every one and my pathetic weakling father allowed it he was a eunuch.
@Esoteric Chaos some people like to spend all the time alone. I am one of them for example. Don't just assume everyone would want to be surrounded by family mambers in their old age
I am female, early thirties, two children. I honestly believe this is something you really need to do your research on and think very hard about. I tell all my girlfriends the same thing. You are bringing people into the world, you are responsible for them. Are you prepared to give them everything you have, everything you are and everything you will ever receive? If no, then don't have them. When they are here, you owe them to give them a good life because they didn't choose to be here. In my culture, parents and grandparents think you owe them for giving you life but I don't feel like that's true. I never had a choice to be here. My kids don't owe me anything and I won't make them feel like they do.
As a chlldfree woman it was so easy to see so many problems with having kids. It always surprises me that some people have kids and regret them later knowing all the obvious disadvantages of having them.
Interesting conversation. I never felt like I wanted kids. I’m 36 & I still don’t. Giving birth sounds horrific, so too breast feeding. 😱 I was an English teacher for 8 years & I think children are adorable, but exhausting. I prefer part-time/occasional children, because I can give them my full energy & attention, my best self, then retreat & recharge. 🔋 I’ve learnt my well-being depends on freedom & time for creativity, so I’d need a special set of circumstances e.g a great supportive invested man & above average resources to mother & retain time for freedom & creativity.🤰 Disruption to my body as a woman with a hormonal rollercoaster ride & the threat of post-natal depression would be a concern too. 😬 I love my current life & enjoy my work, study & creativity tremendously. I can’t imagine trading my joys for diapers, baby food, tears, sleepless nights & nursery rhymes on repeat & still being happy. 🤷🏻♀️ My life doesn’t lack meaning, or purpose, as I’m a career-focussed academic & creative. Sometimes I wonder if parenting is more of a drive for people who never found purpose, or meaning in their single life? 👀On that note, I’ve had women divulge their regrets behind the scenes. One said, ‘I thought they’d give my life meaning, but they didn’t.’ Now, she’s getting meaning from entrepreneurship, so in some cases kids are not the answer to a lack of meaning. 🛍 There’s no way to take kids back to the store if you change your mind. It’s life’s unending commitment for better, or worse. Really traditional marriage vows would be better suited to a child’s day of birth.
VERY, WELL, SAID. YOU NEED TO REALLY LOVE THEM, AND WANT THEM, AND HAVE A REAL PLAN, AND A REAL PARTNER TO ENJOY THE RIDE AND BE HAPPY AND MAKE THEM HAPPY, IF NOT, PLEASE JUST BE HAPPY IN THIS LIFE THAT ARE SO BEAUTIFUL.
you're so right, I'm 37 and I don't have a partner, at one point I feel they pressure me for children even though they themselves are unstable, not financially secure and they want to have children only to fit in the society and for some other reasons that you mention
I had never read a comment that explained exactly how I think. I'm 40, a writer and temporarily (I hope) single, and the social pressure in the Caribbean is stratospheric. Thank you for sharing your comment.
I completely and utterly agree with you. I am a 35 yr old woman but when I inform people that I am not a kid person and I value my freedom they look at me as if I'm an alien. With responses as oh you'll change your mind eventually I've been feeling this way ever since I was a teenager. I want to enjoy my life. And it would be selfish of me to bring a child into the world when I'm not interested in doing that.
Great conversation! It was interesting to hear male perspectives. I'm 36 and have never wanted children, nor does my husband. I think it's unfortunate, though, how if it were women saying these things and not men, criticism would be much greater. 😪
I decided not to have kids when I worked as a nanny at 19. Then I became a teacher and a governess. No wayyyyy. For me, no way. I'm not married, I have never been in love and a child needs a dad. Your life ends, your figure is destroyed and you have no money left. I see my friends, in out 40's, having them out of panic. They will be in their 60's putting a teen into university. Nooooo thanks. I will be in Spain.
LOL I screamed at your comment "your life ends, your figure is destroyed and you have no money left" ALLL FACTS LOL. This reminds me of the time one of my friends (we were about 25) said to me: "Oh, but you'd make a great mom. Your figure will bounce back" It took every ounce of strength not to say: "But your figure hasn't bounced back and you've endured a slew of additional health issues especially since you had a kid very young" But...in the next breath she said: "Oh shoot...I'll have to wait until my next paycheque because I don't have anymore money"
In my opinion that silly. So many people with kids end up in nursing homes anyway. People forget anything could happen in 50 years kids have their own kids and are busy, they live abroad, you have family issues, or you have a disease that needs constant attention your kids can’t give😂 I can’t imagine making such a huge decision based on fear
@@seaofroses8888 ..you are perhaps balanced & rational enough to not imagine making such a decision..but in fact many people around the world have been conditioned to perceive this to be true & this includes in the westernised sectors of the world.
People have kids bc they are told to by society and the media. It’s just a step in the cog wheel instead of thinking for themselves if that’s the life they want. Having kids is amazing but it’s absolutely not for the majority of the population. It’s a calling and IMO few are chosen for such a life path.
@@britndayz agreed. I am 31 & undecided but the part of me that doesn’t want children is considering the state of this world & I don’t want to bring children into chaos.
I remember about 20-22 years ago I was in a surgeons office ,I was having my thyroid removed and it was our first consult and I am in the waiting room looking through magazines. There was a medical magazine there and had an article about this and it had the regret rate of people that have children and it was 53 or 56% and they had different reasons cited in there for it. I don’t remember all of the detail obviously it was so long ago but the Way it was phrased is that if you have a chance to do it again knowing what you know now would you have children again and that was the % response of no’s. It was reasons such as financial strain, the exhaustion, the negative impact on the parents relationship and some other things that I don’t recall. I think sometimes people romanticize parenthood and even marriage for that matter. I’ve heard other people say they had them because they thought that’s what they were supposed to do even though they did not really want to.
All of the mothers in my family told me in private that they regretted being mothers. If they had the chance, they would go back in time and never have kids.
It’s so strange to me that having kids is what many of us internalize from others as a “next step” in life. Shouldn’t literally making new people be something you really, really want to do and not something you feel is expected of you. To me, ideally, every child deserves to come into this world welcomed and cherished. To make that an actual reality, it would be much better for us, as large groups or as a society in general, to have these hard conversations about what child rearing entails. It seems, I’m not a parent, that it costs a lot physically, emotionally, and financially. Not everyone is built to parent. Not everyone has the social support or financial resources. Some people are just disinterested in having kids. And that should be ok?
A great taboo topic, but wished more men were honest during the courtship when dating women etc........... all this can be prevented when you heal your inner demons and other psychological damages.
I'm a Chinese Brit mid 40s and childfree, never wanted them and nor did my husband. This topic I've only ever seen women discuss and I found it fascinating to hear a male perspective, it's exactly the same as a women's, except women are persecuted more for their feelings. I think life is so much complicated now, it requires 2 incomes to buy a home and so it requires so much more money and time when there simply isn't enough of both and then you have to factor children into the mix. I'm looking forward to retirement. With people having kids later friends all have single digit children and they have a hard slog ahead of them, I don't envy them. Horses for courses is what I've always said, have kids I'd you want. Don't have them if you don't but don't judge. It's the individual's choice and they're the ones who have to live with the decision
my colleague, a woman, said that if she lived her life again, she would not have any kids. she came from Maurititus. More parents should talk about this. I am childfree by choice and I have always known that I never wanted to be a mother. I don't even like the word Mother or Mum, it immediately conjuries up doormat and child rearer and loss of identity
Same. I would abhor being called a mother. The name insinuates “servant”. I can’t believe people actually want to be called that. No longer having a name and being regarded as “a mom”, which is what the majority of the female population is called, is so depressing. Also don’t like being called ma’am or Ms./Mrs. for the same reason (no identity). I don’t view children as things to be owned. I view them as future adults…a replacement. It’s your job as a parent to train the new “employee”. Parents are a MENTOR, nothing more. But people are so stuck in their ego that they can’t separate the child from themselves. Parents only see “copies” of themselves when they look at their children, which is terrible for the child’s development. I am NOT my parents. I share a few physical traits (which ultimately mean nothing) and a few psychological ones (mostly due to nurture and upbringing). Not all “trainers” are equal, which is why the world is as screwed up as it is.
@11:30, Welcome to how it feels being a woman and talking about...Anything. That anything includes the decision not to have children. It's interesting to hear men talk about an issue that is more common to hear women discuss-thank you! Thank you for your candor as well! I'm almost 40, have raised a family member's child from 5 months to 5 years (not by choice and eventually his parents took him back) and still have people criticise and question my decision to live child-free AFTER experiencing life as a parent. I don't appreciate people who question, ask why I don't want/have children or reprimand me for my decision. It's no one's business. Also, don't tell me I'm selfish and/or I'll regret it. I'm not selfish, and I haven't ever come close to feeling regret. Not once. I support people's decisions to choose. I think it's reprehensible that people bully/pressure, lie to, brainwash, etc., women AND men about/into having kids. You want to have kids? Awesome! You don't want to have kids? Awesome!
I'm totally with you. I chose to not have children as I raised a sibling and had to mother a mother. I've been told that I'm odd and weird for not having them. Being judge is a bore. When people feel compelled to share their feelings how do they not know if I'd been trying for decades or that I didn't have a full hysterectomy? I don't and haven't had issues conceiving but you just don't know is my point. It think people who have kids are selfish, number one reason has been to have someone to look after them when they're old and I'm the one who's selfish, go figure. I've never regretted not having and and if I ever do it'll be waay too late to do anything about it biologically. I'm hoping by then that I don't get to hear about the boomerang kids who have all returned because they've lost their jobs or going through divorce. I've noticed that kids don't ever grow up and that parents are always moaning about their kids at all stages. Seesh! I kind of like knowing that I only have myself and my husband to worry about and probably my mother as she ages and needs care.
Would be nice to see a discussion with 2 people who both regret having kids. The guy with the beard doesn't get it. He is chuffed at being a parent so is trying to convince AC he is just being hard on himself. You don't have to 'counsel' him, cause as he says, it's not a lack of self-esteem thing, he mended his relationship with his father and he is currently quite happy with himself. But he STILL regrets having kids. He would just much rather have been doing other things for the last decade which interested him more than the burden and stress and self-doubt of parenting. Likely the resentment of having to suppress those things is what has led to his biggest f-ups. Then you feel guilty and suppress them even harder but they bubble up again. Still, not having kids is hard too, since it's such a child-centric society, and you can feel cut adrift and lacking purpose or value. It's like everyone has moved on with their life and become a real grown-up except you. No handbook for having them, and none for not having them either. I respect the fact that he was honest with his children. I think you have to be when it is causing such distress. It's worse for children, when nobody takes the time to explain things to them. Same with divorce. Kids can handle alot, if you take the time to explain it to them and are open with them.
Children don't destroy anything. Parents do. Irresponsible adults lament the responsibility that obviously comes with procreating. Then some moan "kids destroy your life!" No, you just hate parenting. Blaming innocent children for a choice they didn't make is abhorrent.
I totally feel what this guy is saying about regretting it. I wish that I could have a conversation with someone who felt this way. I feel alone and rejected for voicing this opinion. I passed on genes to my kids that should have stopped with me. It is isolating to feel this way.
@@vitaminb4869 and update she is not happy, she's more miserable than she's ever been. She also wanted a girl and had a boy and she's never liked boys. I love my nephew and it's great being an aunt though.
please don't tell your kids you wish you hadn't had them. even if they ask u directly. talk to other people you trust and that will understand, but don't tell ur kids
I dunno. Both my parents told me kids weren’t worth it when I was older. It didn’t change the way I felt about myself. I’m just aware that me and my brother probably affected their marriage.
I know. Talk about creating attachment trauma, an environment that doesn’t make you feel safe or nurtured, and feeling worthless. There are other things he could say. If my dad said that to me, I would feel worthless. And I wouldn’t trust people after that. It’s ok to regret having kids but it’s not ok to create a trauma for them.
@@jenli142 good for you, but the trade-off is to big to risk it. It's fine to tell your kids that having them affected their lives in some difficult way. But the damage that can be done by telling them u wish u hadnt had them is too big
jeteaze Yeah. My parents were nice people, generally speaking, but my parents told me more than once they regretted my existence and that they only loved me because they had too and that they didn't like me. I still can't believe that anyone could like me, let alone love me, when even my parents of all people couldn't. I tried my best to be "good" but they clearly never got over my existence and how it irritated them. It's completely masochistic to repeatedly forgive parents like that. It's a serious trauma... much better to stay away from them although they're surprised when you do.
It's selfish and cruel to admit that to your child that you regret having had him or her. I agree with the regret - did not have kids - but it would be better to lie to your kid if you regret having had him/her. Why hurt the innocent?
Honestly I made that conclusion myself from my parents behavior. It’s torturous to be gaslighted in such a way where you’re told your parents must love you yet their actions don’t align with that. I personally would have loved to have known how they really feel. Would have made life more understandable.
We need people to speak out so that we prevent such people having kids. As the commenter above noted many parents don’t want kids and their actions show it.
I’m 34 and never wanted kids, never will. They annoy me and I got a million reasons why I don’t want kids. Feels amazing. I love my freedom!!! But it’s so hard to find a good man who’s also Christian and doesn’t want kids.
@@FransceneJK98 I understand them quite well. Used to be one of them. Don't agree in following some imaginary friend, no, especially when it affects your real life negatively.
@@vitaminb4869 that’s fine. In a way I also don’t blame you for leaving the church cuz it’s corrupt and full of hypocrites. I still feel that way but I had an experience where God did save my life and turned it around when I was in deep shit. The church doesn’t represent God well at all and I still harbor negativity towards churches but God is real. My life got much much better from where i came from so I’m happy with that. If I’m wrong and die and find out God isn’t real and I just seize to exist then I still lived a happy and fulfilling life compared to where I have been. But if I’m right and you’re not, then you’re the one who will regret that when you die which I don’t want for you at all. Try to separate God from the church and religious system. Just a thought
@@FransceneJK98 You "think God saved your life" and "God saved my life" are 2 different things. The first one exists only in your head, not necessarily in reality. You'd need to prove - it was indeed God who saved your life. For all I know it could be God, just not your "God". There are so many "Gods" out there, more than you can count. Church claims it reprsents God and that God is in church. They will claim it confidently just like you're claiming your side of the story. It's all senseless fluff. I'm not denying that people can make up a fantasy story in their head with some imaginary friend, and improve their life because of that. I guess whatever works. When I die I will regret nothing. I will simply cease to exist. Have you ever seen a non-existing person regret anything?
When I didn't have kids I was super lazy but now that I got 4 i am highly motivated and my salary multiple by 6. Everybody seems so happy for me but i remember the good ole days of only having to take care of me.
I'm glad men are speaking out about this. I was honest with my son about regretting having him but NOT because of him. Because of the cruel world we live in. I did him no favors by bringing him here.
Telling your kid you wish you didn't have them and showing them that you wish you didn't have them, is emotional abuse and not ok even if you feel that way.
That's true, showing them especially is a sin, but I think admitting to grown ups that they weren't planned or wanted initially is needed and liberating truth sometimes. Because children feel it and wonder what's wrong with them and then they know the truth, nothing is wrong with them, it was the parents who are people and make mistakes sometimes
Yes, you can tell them when they are grown up enough so they understand. My mother told me She didn't really wanted children, so this helped me understand her attitude was about her, not about me. I was never the problem. I was a straight A student, I wanted so much to do important stuff in my life to be accepted and loved, and I didn't felt this way. Now I know why.
AC is the only one giving real info from his perspective and experience even if that means to expose himself a little...the rest Paul and Ryan looks like they are affraid to tell the truth or being really honest.
I think it’s ok to mourn the lost of the life you had prior To having children . I think it’s ok to regret not having as much freedom. Most people experience that from the few people I’ve spoken to. But to have a child and see no sliver lining. Seems depressing .
I think parenting can only be enjoyable if you have amazing support. Whether it's your partner or a professional or a family member. Someone to just take the load off and let you be you as often as possible. I also believe that the better prepared you are for parenthood, the more enjoyable it will be. And preparing means becoming the most organized version of yourself ever. Because a lot of parental stresses occur from lack of organization, planning and research. I have a 4 year old daughter and though without a doubt becoming a parent has robbed me of a lot of personal time I used to have and couple time with my husband, I also feel tremendous pride in her. In many ways, she's my greatest accomplishment and there are moments when I look at her and go, holy shit, I made this amazing beautiful human. But I'm also lucky. I have an amazing partner, who takes the job of parenting very seriously, I am financially quite stable and my daughter is gorgeous and fun and smart. Together, we've put in a great deal of work into her first few years of life in terms of solidifying certain behaviors and attitudes, and as a result, parenting is becoming easier and more enjoyable. She actually wants to help do the dishes and put away laundry and stuff like that. Now, all that said, I still miss my old life almost daily.
@jessdaisy then deep down they never really regretted it. I wanted kids, but after my 1st son I realised that there's nothing special about having children, and I've been ensuring I don't have any more
No kids for me, ever. I had to take care of my siblings, that's all the parenting I'll ever do Parents are going to my other siblings for the day to day. I'm not getting involved in that
I feel like the guy top right has good intentions. But I think in a unintentional way he is invalidating AC trauma by saying everyone feels that way. Not everyone feels that way and even if he did it doesn’t invalidate him. He’s been through trauma especially the religious upbringing. That installs shame in people and guilt which can manifest in other areas of there life. Feelings what to be heard and understood. It’s a trauma response. It’s good he is talking about it. And I am glad he is saying it in public. He should go to a therapist also to help the rest
These men have the right to feel how they feel. Could that honesty stayed perhaps somewhere in therapy room or close buddies circle though? How cruel to let your son or daughter know you regret having them. If my Dad ever told me such, I would of been crushed.
I was told and yeah it hurt at first, but then it helped me understand that my parents were not fit to be parents. Now that I'm older - I'm the only CFP and I'm successful. Meanwhile everyone else (relatives) are repeating the exact same issues and mistakes that my parents did. History repeats itself when things aren't resolved. I'm actually glad that my parents told me from a young age because it helped me better understand myself and I was able to decide that children are not for me!
My mom told me "She never actually really wanted children." It helped me understand a lot of things..especially some of her attitudes towards me, and understand It was about he, not about me. And she did took care of us (clothing, eating, etc), but I always felt something was off about her. So I actually feel good knowing the truth.I am childfree (I told my parents I will never have children when I was around 12 years old I think).
@@mianeculcea6789 so sorry you had to experience such. I still think it's cruel and heartless to tell your child that you never wanted her. It can not be undone, so what the difference does it make if a parent reveals this piece of info? Yes, it made you understand a lot of things, BUT it's still hurtful, damaging and could change the course of your life. Thank you though for sharing.
Hey boys well done always nice hearing grown men talk the truth and expressing there feelings about tough subjects I've know ac for awhile haven't seen the bastard in a bit but love him all the same keep up the good work
Dang I cant imagine the pressures if I did child free in my country. I still remember my sister didnt have a kid for 2 years after marriage yet a lot of people (my family, in laws, her friends) keep asking her question "WHEN WILL YOU HAVE A KID?" I always think ppl who didnt married have lower status than married people in my country 😂 (ppl will judge them a lot)
People shouldn’t let media or family pressure decide whats right for them, as hard as it might be. But to be truely happy you have to think what you want deep down in life not what others want for you, and if you don’t understand that then you wont find true happiness.
There are to many kids in the world! And are starving to death and have no parents. We should rather stop having kids or adopt them and make the world a better place! Countries will then be forced to take in more immigrants that live in poor countries to hold up the economy and take care of the growing old population. This would be the ideal situation for the world and the environment.
@@Childfree334 it's miserable for most people, even for those who wanted them. Just because you wanted kids, doesn't mean all the stress and exhaustion of raising kids doesn't exist. Like what you think you gonna get good night sleep, travel, and unlimited sex just because you wanted kids??
1:10:00 if I where him I would have worded it a bit differently. Something like "I don't regret you as a person. Because I love you with my whole heart. But I do regret not knowing how extremely difficult being a parent would be. I regret not fully educating and preparing myself for how difficult parenthood would be."
I’m glad about this guys honesty. He sounds like a very intelligent person. This world wants intelligent people to think they are psychotic. But in reality they are just smart.
what makes me believe that many people secretly regret having children? The fact that NONE of my parents and uncles and aunts are pressuring me or their own kids to become parents. I think it says it all. This said, I still believe that giving life, even in the worst conditions, is still an incredible power and gift. I just don't want the inconvenience. If I were to be a mom, I would want to be such perfect parent that I would go nuts. I would even become controlling just so I'm sure my kids are taking the right path. Which is wrong. I would also be madly disappointed if they happened to become people I dislike with opinions and lifestyles I disapprove of. So I guess there is no need I bring anybody into the world. It's not as if I had super genes that I wanted to pass on anyway. (my thoughts before I watch the video)
I’ll stick to one kid. My partner and I wanted more than we started living together, travelling, living our best life and decided one is enough. Having more kids means our trips to Iceland and Japan are not financially possible anymore. We would need a bigger place but we live in Paris it’s expensive unless we move further away and we don’t want to. All we’re willing to pay for is one extra bedroom for one child and that’s it. We will have bunnies instead. They’re cute and quiet
Beard-face's kid was vulnerable enough to ask dad if dad regretted their existence and he said _yes._ Has he ever asked how shitty he was as a dad? Is the kid allowed to tell dad how damaging his crappy father was when it would hurt the most? Did you tell them you _had_ to love them but didn't _like_ them too? Instead of being so self-centred you could have attempted a decent relationship with your children instead of seeing them as objects. Yep... I now no longer believe that any parents actually love their children; and unconditional love is laughable bullshit.
j browne I'm shocked that parents are selfish enough to have kids and treat them like objects. They're either an "asset" or a "burden". That's objectifying children as if they don't have their own minds that parents have the most affect on. The Nuclear Family Unit is a terrible way to raise kids because we're not built to function that way but even that doesn't give anyone the right to tell their kids that you resent them being born. Parenting shouldn't be taken lightly. I could _never_ do that to an innocent life. It's not surprising so many people don't want kids these days and they should be commended for it; but in reality they get punished. Having kids is the most selfish thing in the world and doing a poor job is even more selfish. They'll be adults eventually and remember all the resentment. Children know how to be children, it'd be nice if parents tried raising adults out of children. These are the same people that spend years trying to convince child-free people to have kids "because it's the best, most fulfilling thing in the world" and then barrage you with reasons why you're a bad person for not wanting to breed. Being legally forced to have kids is beyond sick when all of this damage is being caused and now we have the most depressed generation that's ever existed.
I'm not sure about this conversation. The one guy keeps justifying his choice of having kid's. How he's raising his kids. The guest has to keep justifying on why he didn't want kid's. I'm not sure what I mean. I know that not all people who decided not have kids had difficult childhoods. And frankly I know or knew people who probably should not have had kid's. My opinion.
It doesn't really bother me if people ask me if I'm going to have kids or not, they're just wondering and I tell them I don't think so, and that's it. It seems like all my child free friends get so butt hurt when people ask them about this, it's just people making conversation and wondering about you, just be happy that people are wondering about you lol. I'd rather have people talk to me than ignore me
@@SS-cd6ie I have a sibling and we're not really friends. Having a sibling isn't always an instantly great experience. It was actually really difficult and added stress growing up.
@@rachelbard4985 I never got along with my sibling either. The point of my comment was only children are often wishing they had siblings and feel deprived.
I had a friend who had served in Vietnam. He felt he earned his respect as a USA Army Soldier in Vietnam. Yet he told me that not having children of his own was one of his biggest life regrets. 🧬🧬🧬🧬🧬🧬🧬🌍💠😎🧭🏛🏝🗽🗝🇺🇸💛⚜🎂
I would get mental health help, it is cruel to bring kids into the world so they will experience suffering a death and how would you cope if they became a criminal, lived thousands of mile away, or disabled.
40 yr old Indian woman ... married for 15yrs ... and CHILDFREE BY CHOICE.... not because we HATE children or scared of sleepless nights.... only because we love our unborn children too much we decided not to bring them into this BAD overpopulated world....
It's common sense at this point. Human beings dug themselves into a hole they can't get out of and so they resort to genocide..
@@MegaBloodrain the massive amount of deaths havent even occurred yet. And they're going to soon as climate change worsens. Good god why arent more people freaking out about this?
@@britndayz because a lot of people downplay everything
Yep that’s why I don’t want any. This world is crazy. Lots of ppl already don’t wanna be here.
Great,.... IS A CHOICE, A FREE CHOICE, PLEASE MAKE THE GOOD ONE, IS NOT RIGHT OR WRONG.
I'm 42, child free, and loving it! The problem I have with it, is people in my family feel that I owe it to them to take care of them because I have no children. I had to move away from them.
You did the right thing my grandmother was the crypt keeper making herself a burden taking forever to die sucking the life out of every one and my pathetic weakling father allowed it he was a eunuch.
Absolutely not! You are not a free caretaker. Get away while youre still young and full of life! ❤️❤️
@Esoteric Chaos Go and ask all of the parents in the senior's homes with kids...then get back to us!
Who expected you to take care of them? Parents?
@Esoteric Chaos some people like to spend all the time alone. I am one of them for example. Don't just assume everyone would want to be surrounded by family mambers in their old age
I am female, early thirties, two children. I honestly believe this is something you really need to do your research on and think very hard about. I tell all my girlfriends the same thing. You are bringing people into the world, you are responsible for them. Are you prepared to give them everything you have, everything you are and everything you will ever receive? If no, then don't have them. When they are here, you owe them to give them a good life because they didn't choose to be here. In my culture, parents and grandparents think you owe them for giving you life but I don't feel like that's true. I never had a choice to be here. My kids don't owe me anything and I won't make them feel like they do.
You are a great mum many parents think they are doing some favour for their children
You dont have to give everything you are and everything you have or ever will have to anyone
@@reneel2441 if you decide to bring them into existence you do, it's a decision that involves three people with one of them not having a say
You are awesome. I wish more parents and people were like you
This has to be one of the greatest comments I have ever read on TH-cam.
As a chlldfree woman it was so easy to see so many problems with having kids. It always surprises me that some people have kids and regret them later knowing all the obvious disadvantages of having them.
Interesting conversation. I never felt like I wanted kids. I’m 36 & I still don’t. Giving birth sounds horrific, so too breast feeding. 😱 I was an English teacher for 8 years & I think children are adorable, but exhausting. I prefer part-time/occasional children, because I can give them my full energy & attention, my best self, then retreat & recharge. 🔋 I’ve learnt my well-being depends on freedom & time for creativity, so I’d need a special set of circumstances e.g a great supportive invested man & above average resources to mother & retain time for freedom & creativity.🤰 Disruption to my body as a woman with a hormonal rollercoaster ride & the threat of post-natal depression would be a concern too. 😬 I love my current life & enjoy my work, study & creativity tremendously. I can’t imagine trading my joys for diapers, baby food, tears, sleepless nights & nursery rhymes on repeat & still being happy. 🤷🏻♀️ My life doesn’t lack meaning, or purpose, as I’m a career-focussed academic & creative. Sometimes I wonder if parenting is more of a drive for people who never found purpose, or meaning in their single life? 👀On that note, I’ve had women divulge their regrets behind the scenes. One said, ‘I thought they’d give my life meaning, but they didn’t.’ Now, she’s getting meaning from entrepreneurship, so in some cases kids are not the answer to a lack of meaning. 🛍 There’s no way to take kids back to the store if you change your mind. It’s life’s unending commitment for better, or worse. Really traditional marriage vows would be better suited to a child’s day of birth.
VERY, WELL, SAID. YOU NEED TO REALLY LOVE THEM, AND WANT THEM, AND HAVE A REAL PLAN, AND A REAL PARTNER TO ENJOY THE RIDE AND BE HAPPY AND MAKE THEM HAPPY, IF NOT, PLEASE JUST BE HAPPY IN THIS LIFE THAT ARE SO BEAUTIFUL.
Same here! I’m 35 and I still don’t feel the urge to.. I’m happy w my partner and our fur babies lol that’s a perfect family in my eyes ha
you're so right, I'm 37 and I don't have a partner, at one point I feel they pressure me for children even though they themselves are unstable, not financially secure and they want to have children only to fit in the society and for some other reasons that you mention
I had never read a comment that explained exactly how I think. I'm 40, a writer and temporarily (I hope) single, and the social pressure in the Caribbean is stratospheric. Thank you for sharing your comment.
I completely and utterly agree with you. I am a 35 yr old woman but when I inform people that I am not a kid person and I value my freedom they look at me as if I'm an alien. With responses as oh you'll change your mind eventually I've been feeling this way ever since I was a teenager. I want to enjoy my life. And it would be selfish of me to bring a child into the world when I'm not interested in doing that.
Great conversation! It was interesting to hear male perspectives. I'm 36 and have never wanted children, nor does my husband. I think it's unfortunate, though, how if it were women saying these things and not men, criticism would be much greater. 😪
I decided not to have kids when I worked as a nanny at 19. Then I became a teacher and a governess. No wayyyyy. For me, no way. I'm not married, I have never been in love and a child needs a dad. Your life ends, your figure is destroyed and you have no money left. I see my friends, in out 40's, having them out of panic. They will be in their 60's putting a teen into university. Nooooo thanks. I will be in Spain.
LOL I screamed at your comment "your life ends, your figure is destroyed and you have no money left" ALLL FACTS LOL. This reminds me of the time one of my friends (we were about 25) said to me: "Oh, but you'd make a great mom. Your figure will bounce back" It took every ounce of strength not to say: "But your figure hasn't bounced back and you've endured a slew of additional health issues especially since you had a kid very young"
But...in the next breath she said: "Oh shoot...I'll have to wait until my next paycheque because I don't have anymore money"
American society isn’t set up to support families. It’s exist to support business.
My dad told me that "your mom wanted kids" I can tell he didn't want me, its cruel to bring kids into the world that u dont want.
For a number ofpeople, it's the fear of being alone in old age that motivates having a kid
In my opinion that silly. So many people with kids end up in nursing homes anyway. People forget anything could happen in 50 years kids have their own kids and are busy, they live abroad, you have family issues, or you have a disease that needs constant attention your kids can’t give😂 I can’t imagine making such a huge decision based on fear
@@seaofroses8888
..you are perhaps balanced & rational enough to not imagine making such a decision..but in fact many people around the world have been conditioned to perceive this to be true & this includes in the westernised sectors of the world.
@@tkofibali3022 yes, I agree. It's sad tbh
Having kids does not mean they will be there for you in the end * I have seen it happen to many times
@@lovespell4425 exactly,people want to live in a fantasy
People have kids bc they are told to by society and the media. It’s just a step in the cog wheel instead of thinking for themselves if that’s the life they want. Having kids is amazing but it’s absolutely not for the majority of the population. It’s a calling and IMO few are chosen for such a life path.
People who are childfree are seen as peculiar, to me its peculiar to want to have kids in such a painful, tragic world
@@britndayz agreed. I am 31 & undecided but the part of me that doesn’t want children is considering the state of this world & I don’t want to bring children into chaos.
Don't forget religious coercion also plays a HUGE part in why people have kids.
not entirely true
the root of this
I wanted children since I was a kid! Went through a traumatic experience got pregnant and I regret it. I love my child but I wish I would have waited.
I remember about 20-22 years ago I was in a surgeons office ,I was having my thyroid removed and it was our first consult and I am in the waiting room looking through magazines. There was a medical magazine there and had an article about this and it had the regret rate of people that have children and it was 53 or 56% and they had different reasons cited in there for it. I don’t remember all of the detail obviously it was so long ago but the Way it was phrased is that if you have a chance to do it again knowing what you know now would you have children again and that was the % response of no’s. It was reasons such as financial strain, the exhaustion, the negative impact on the parents relationship and some other things that I don’t recall. I think sometimes people romanticize parenthood and even marriage for that matter. I’ve heard other people say they had them because they thought that’s what they were supposed to do even though they did not really want to.
All of the mothers in my family told me in private that they regretted being mothers. If they had the chance, they would go back in time and never have kids.
I heard that a lot from women, too. My mother included.
It’s so strange to me that having kids is what many of us internalize from others as a “next step” in life. Shouldn’t literally making new people be something you really, really want to do and not something you feel is expected of you. To me, ideally, every child deserves to come into this world welcomed and cherished. To make that an actual reality, it would be much better for us, as large groups or as a society in general, to have these hard conversations about what child rearing entails. It seems, I’m not a parent, that it costs a lot physically, emotionally, and financially. Not everyone is built to parent. Not everyone has the social support or financial resources. Some people are just disinterested in having kids. And that should be ok?
A great taboo topic, but wished more men were honest during the courtship when dating women etc........... all this can be prevented when you heal your inner demons and other psychological damages.
I'm a Chinese Brit mid 40s and childfree, never wanted them and nor did my husband. This topic I've only ever seen women discuss and I found it fascinating to hear a male perspective, it's exactly the same as a women's, except women are persecuted more for their feelings. I think life is so much complicated now, it requires 2 incomes to buy a home and so it requires so much more money and time when there simply isn't enough of both and then you have to factor children into the mix. I'm looking forward to retirement. With people having kids later friends all have single digit children and they have a hard slog ahead of them, I don't envy them.
Horses for courses is what I've always said, have kids I'd you want. Don't have them if you don't but don't judge. It's the individual's choice and they're the ones who have to live with the decision
my cousins are in 30s from Hong Kong and are chlidfree by choice.
my colleague, a woman, said that if she lived her life again, she would not have any kids. she came from Maurititus. More parents should talk about this. I am childfree by choice and I have always known that I never wanted to be a mother. I don't even like the word Mother or Mum, it immediately conjuries up doormat and child rearer and loss of identity
Same. I would abhor being called a mother. The name insinuates “servant”. I can’t believe people actually want to be called that. No longer having a name and being regarded as “a mom”, which is what the majority of the female population is called, is so depressing. Also don’t like being called ma’am or Ms./Mrs. for the same reason (no identity). I don’t view children as things to be owned. I view them as future adults…a replacement. It’s your job as a parent to train the new “employee”. Parents are a MENTOR, nothing more. But people are so stuck in their ego that they can’t separate the child from themselves. Parents only see “copies” of themselves when they look at their children, which is terrible for the child’s development. I am NOT my parents. I share a few physical traits (which ultimately mean nothing) and a few psychological ones (mostly due to nurture and upbringing). Not all “trainers” are equal, which is why the world is as screwed up as it is.
It's insane that people like this call child-free people selfish and irresponsible.
Nothing but projection....
They,'re just jeolous.
@11:30, Welcome to how it feels being a woman and talking about...Anything. That anything includes the decision not to have children. It's interesting to hear men talk about an issue that is more common to hear women discuss-thank you! Thank you for your candor as well!
I'm almost 40, have raised a family member's child from 5 months to 5 years (not by choice and eventually his parents took him back) and still have people criticise and question my decision to live child-free AFTER experiencing life as a parent. I don't appreciate people who question, ask why I don't want/have children or reprimand me for my decision. It's no one's business. Also, don't tell me I'm selfish and/or I'll regret it. I'm not selfish, and I haven't ever come close to feeling regret. Not once.
I support people's decisions to choose. I think it's reprehensible that people bully/pressure, lie to, brainwash, etc., women AND men about/into having kids. You want to have kids? Awesome! You don't want to have kids? Awesome!
I'm totally with you. I chose to not have children as I raised a sibling and had to mother a mother. I've been told that I'm odd and weird for not having them. Being judge is a bore. When people feel compelled to share their feelings how do they not know if I'd been trying for decades or that I didn't have a full hysterectomy? I don't and haven't had issues conceiving but you just don't know is my point. It think people who have kids are selfish, number one reason has been to have someone to look after them when they're old and I'm the one who's selfish, go figure.
I've never regretted not having and and if I ever do it'll be waay too late to do anything about it biologically. I'm hoping by then that I don't get to hear about the boomerang kids who have all returned because they've lost their jobs or going through divorce. I've noticed that kids don't ever grow up and that parents are always moaning about their kids at all stages. Seesh! I kind of like knowing that I only have myself and my husband to worry about and probably my mother as she ages and needs care.
Would be nice to see a discussion with 2 people who both regret having kids. The guy with the beard doesn't get it. He is chuffed at being a parent so is trying to convince AC he is just being hard on himself. You don't have to 'counsel' him, cause as he says, it's not a lack of self-esteem thing, he mended his relationship with his father and he is currently quite happy with himself. But he STILL regrets having kids. He would just much rather have been doing other things for the last decade which interested him more than the burden and stress and self-doubt of parenting. Likely the resentment of having to suppress those things is what has led to his biggest f-ups. Then you feel guilty and suppress them even harder but they bubble up again. Still, not having kids is hard too, since it's such a child-centric society, and you can feel cut adrift and lacking purpose or value. It's like everyone has moved on with their life and become a real grown-up except you. No handbook for having them, and none for not having them either. I respect the fact that he was honest with his children. I think you have to be when it is causing such distress. It's worse for children, when nobody takes the time to explain things to them. Same with divorce. Kids can handle alot, if you take the time to explain it to them and are open with them.
I'm 64 I never wanted Children..however I do get along with Children.
If more people were honest they would admit they regret having children! Children destroy your life
Children don't destroy anything. Parents do. Irresponsible adults lament the responsibility that obviously comes with procreating.
Then some moan "kids destroy your life!"
No, you just hate parenting.
Blaming innocent children for a choice they didn't make is abhorrent.
@@judithpriestess7781 good point!!!. But ! Same thing
I totally feel what this guy is saying about regretting it. I wish that I could have a conversation with someone who felt this way. I feel alone and rejected for voicing this opinion. I passed on genes to my kids that should have stopped with me. It is isolating to feel this way.
My parents hated their kids - and they let us know it - I guess that's why I never had kids.
This is the most honest conversation. Thank you for the transparency. I appreciate you.
Incredibly honest ... hats off for putting yourself out there on this forum. Surely this took real courage.
Indeed..
Very selfless of you.
My sister chose to have kids in the pandemic. I really think there's nothing more selfish.
How is your sister selfish for having kids?
@@cargoraygaming9274 because she said "I WANT kids". She wanted to satisfy her desire/dream/goal, thinking that will make HER happy. That's selfish.
@@vitaminb4869 and update she is not happy, she's more miserable than she's ever been. She also wanted a girl and had a boy and she's never liked boys. I love my nephew and it's great being an aunt though.
it is really cruel to have kids, the kids will experience suffering and death @@cargoraygaming9274
please don't tell your kids you wish you hadn't had them. even if they ask u directly. talk to other people you trust and that will understand, but don't tell ur kids
I dunno. Both my parents told me kids weren’t worth it when I was older. It didn’t change the way I felt about myself. I’m just aware that me and my brother probably affected their marriage.
I know. Talk about creating attachment trauma, an environment that doesn’t make you feel safe or nurtured, and feeling worthless.
There are other things he could say.
If my dad said that to me, I would feel worthless. And I wouldn’t trust people after that.
It’s ok to regret having kids but it’s not ok to create a trauma for them.
@@jenli142 good for you, but the trade-off is to big to risk it. It's fine to tell your kids that having them affected their lives in some difficult way. But the damage that can be done by telling them u wish u hadnt had them is too big
I know that's fucked. Like the kid is like I never asked to be here. I know from experience and my personal childhood and child abuse
jeteaze Yeah. My parents were nice people, generally speaking, but my parents told me more than once they regretted my existence and that they only loved me because they had too and that they didn't like me.
I still can't believe that anyone could like me, let alone love me, when even my parents of all people couldn't. I tried my best to be "good" but they clearly never got over my existence and how it irritated them.
It's completely masochistic to repeatedly forgive parents like that. It's a serious trauma... much better to stay away from them although they're surprised when you do.
It's selfish and cruel to admit that to your child that you regret having had him or her. I agree with the regret - did not have kids - but it would be better to lie to your kid if you regret having had him/her. Why hurt the innocent?
Honestly I made that conclusion myself from my parents behavior. It’s torturous to be gaslighted in such a way where you’re told your parents must love you yet their actions don’t align with that. I personally would have loved to have known how they really feel. Would have made life more understandable.
We need people to speak out so that we prevent such people having kids. As the commenter above noted many parents don’t want kids and their actions show it.
Can't agree more with "do it for the right reasons"
AND DO IT IF YOU CAN AFFORD THAT, AND WITH THE GOOD AGREEMENT OF YOUR PARTNER, BECAUSE PARENTS, ARE TWO, NOT A SINGLE MOM WORKING ALL THE TIME.
What are the right reasons?
I’m 34 and never wanted kids, never will. They annoy me and I got a million reasons why I don’t want kids. Feels amazing. I love my freedom!!! But it’s so hard to find a good man who’s also Christian and doesn’t want kids.
Leave your sky daddy for an atheist man. At least he'll be real.
@@vitaminb4869 you do you boo. No need to bash Christians just cuz you don’t understand or agree with it
@@FransceneJK98 I understand them quite well. Used to be one of them. Don't agree in following some imaginary friend, no, especially when it affects your real life negatively.
@@vitaminb4869 that’s fine. In a way I also don’t blame you for leaving the church cuz it’s corrupt and full of hypocrites. I still feel that way but I had an experience where God did save my life and turned it around when I was in deep shit. The church doesn’t represent God well at all and I still harbor negativity towards churches but God is real. My life got much much better from where i came from so I’m happy with that. If I’m wrong and die and find out God isn’t real and I just seize to exist then I still lived a happy and fulfilling life compared to where I have been. But if I’m right and you’re not, then you’re the one who will regret that when you die which I don’t want for you at all. Try to separate God from the church and religious system. Just a thought
@@FransceneJK98 You "think God saved your life" and "God saved my life" are 2 different things. The first one exists only in your head, not necessarily in reality. You'd need to prove - it was indeed God who saved your life. For all I know it could be God, just not your "God". There are so many "Gods" out there, more than you can count.
Church claims it reprsents God and that God is in church. They will claim it confidently just like you're claiming your side of the story. It's all senseless fluff.
I'm not denying that people can make up a fantasy story in their head with some imaginary friend, and improve their life because of that. I guess whatever works.
When I die I will regret nothing. I will simply cease to exist. Have you ever seen a non-existing person regret anything?
When I didn't have kids I was super lazy but now that I got 4 i am highly motivated and my salary multiple by 6. Everybody seems so happy for me but i remember the good ole days of only having to take care of me.
They did a good job of not saying just how much they hate having kids🥴
I'm glad men are speaking out about this. I was honest with my son about regretting having him but NOT because of him. Because of the cruel world we live in. I did him no favors by bringing him here.
Telling your kid you wish you didn't have them and showing them that you wish you didn't have them, is emotional abuse and not ok even if you feel that way.
That's true, showing them especially is a sin, but I think admitting to grown ups that they weren't planned or wanted initially is needed and liberating truth sometimes. Because children feel it and wonder what's wrong with them and then they know the truth, nothing is wrong with them, it was the parents who are people and make mistakes sometimes
It is THE WORST THING you can say to them. It's like I wish you weren't alive.
Yes, you can tell them when they are grown up enough so they understand. My mother told me She didn't really wanted children, so this helped me understand her attitude was about her, not about me. I was never the problem. I was a straight A student, I wanted so much to do important stuff in my life to be accepted and loved, and I didn't felt this way. Now I know why.
Spot on. I'm listening to this because I'm asking myself the same question and I really love this little dude. Feels so robotic and monotonous.
Same here
Religious trauma. That play a role here. I was raised mormon. Sucks
Yeah, my condolences.
AC is the only one giving real info from his perspective and experience even if that means to expose himself a little...the rest Paul and Ryan looks like they are affraid to tell the truth or being really honest.
I love the openness because it lets me think about this in an honest way.
I’m childfree and loving it
I think it’s ok to mourn the lost of the life you had prior To having children . I think it’s ok to regret not having as much freedom. Most people experience that from the few people I’ve spoken to. But to have a child and see no sliver lining. Seems depressing .
It is depressing ...
As someone who was brought up by damaged parents and has no desire for marriage or children, it is ok to say no to being a parent
I think parenting can only be enjoyable if you have amazing support. Whether it's your partner or a professional or a family member. Someone to just take the load off and let you be you as often as possible. I also believe that the better prepared you are for parenthood, the more enjoyable it will be. And preparing means becoming the most organized version of yourself ever. Because a lot of parental stresses occur from lack of organization, planning and research. I have a 4 year old daughter and though without a doubt becoming a parent has robbed me of a lot of personal time I used to have and couple time with my husband, I also feel tremendous pride in her. In many ways, she's my greatest accomplishment and there are moments when I look at her and go, holy shit, I made this amazing beautiful human. But I'm also lucky. I have an amazing partner, who takes the job of parenting very seriously, I am financially quite stable and my daughter is gorgeous and fun and smart. Together, we've put in a great deal of work into her first few years of life in terms of solidifying certain behaviors and attitudes, and as a result, parenting is becoming easier and more enjoyable. She actually wants to help do the dishes and put away laundry and stuff like that.
Now, all that said, I still miss my old life almost daily.
I wonder how people who regret having kids have 2 children or more.
As in you didnt realize your error after the first one
Sometimes people repeat there mistakes. It doesn’t mean they are a bad person
@jessdaisy then deep down they never really regretted it.
I wanted kids, but after my 1st son I realised that there's nothing special about having children, and I've been ensuring I don't have any more
As a older person, please listen to what I’m saying.do not get married and do not have children. Live your own life for yourself
Do you have kids?
@@wheatstonebridge I have one. Believe when I tell you don’t get married and don’t have kids. Live your life for yourself.
this is such a good discussion! not many men openly talk about it, thank you guys
No kids for me, ever. I had to take care of my siblings, that's all the parenting I'll ever do
Parents are going to my other siblings for the day to day. I'm not getting involved in that
I feel like the guy top right has good intentions. But I think in a unintentional way he is invalidating AC trauma by saying everyone feels that way. Not everyone feels that way and even if he did it doesn’t invalidate him. He’s been through trauma especially the religious upbringing. That installs shame in people and guilt which can manifest in other areas of there life. Feelings what to be heard and understood. It’s a trauma response. It’s good he is talking about it. And I am glad he is saying it in public. He should go to a therapist also to help the rest
Thank u for sharing - both my parents were abusive & unloving & uninterested.
My coworkers said I'm selfish that's why I don't want kids.
Not selfish. Smart!
Right, and your coworkers had kids because they're not selfish, and not because they wanted to have them, as in what they thought is best for them.
Your co-workers are not paying your rent or morgage or therapy bills - they are the selfish for saying u are selfish.
Never say in front of them you wish you never had them . Bad move
Are you speaking from experience?
I've never regretted having a child. I never will. I just chose to never have another child.
Great podcast ! very interesting topic and well presented.
I subscribed 😀
I really like the guy with the glasses. And his glasses.
These men have the right to feel how they feel. Could that honesty stayed perhaps somewhere in therapy room or close buddies circle though? How cruel to let your son or daughter know you regret having them. If my Dad ever told me such, I would of been crushed.
I was told and yeah it hurt at first, but then it helped me understand that my parents were not fit to be parents. Now that I'm older - I'm the only CFP and I'm successful. Meanwhile everyone else (relatives) are repeating the exact same issues and mistakes that my parents did. History repeats itself when things aren't resolved.
I'm actually glad that my parents told me from a young age because it helped me better understand myself and I was able to decide that children are not for me!
My mom told me "She never actually really wanted children."
It helped me understand a lot of things..especially some of her attitudes towards me, and understand It was about he, not about me. And she did took care of us (clothing, eating, etc), but I always felt something was off about her. So I actually feel good knowing the truth.I am childfree (I told my parents I will never have children when I was around 12 years old I think).
@@mianeculcea6789 so sorry you had to experience such. I still think it's cruel and heartless to tell your child that you never wanted her. It can not be undone, so what the difference does it make if a parent reveals this piece of info? Yes, it made you understand a lot of things, BUT it's still hurtful, damaging and could change the course of your life. Thank you though for sharing.
Most men in the US do not have children about 40%. About 37% have between 1 and 2 and 22% have 3 or more.
How about woman? I feel like it is more taboo to see an older woman not have kids to than a man. I’m a woman and worried about this isn’t he future
Hey boys well done always nice hearing grown men talk the truth and expressing there feelings about tough subjects I've know ac for awhile haven't seen the bastard in a bit but love him all the same keep up the good work
This was extremely interesting. Thank you
I’m childfree because I’m the baby 🥰
Dang I cant imagine the pressures if I did child free in my country. I still remember my sister didnt have a kid for 2 years after marriage yet a lot of people (my family, in laws, her friends) keep asking her question "WHEN WILL YOU HAVE A KID?"
I always think ppl who didnt married have lower status than married people in my country 😂 (ppl will judge them a lot)
People shouldn’t let media or family pressure decide whats right for them, as hard as it might be. But to be truely happy you have to think what you want deep down in life not what others want for you, and if you don’t understand that then you wont find true happiness.
Loved this. Can you guys share a link to AC’s podcast?
There are to many kids in the world! And are starving to death and have no parents. We should rather stop having kids or adopt them and make the world a better place! Countries will then be forced to take in more immigrants that live in poor countries to hold up the economy and take care of the growing old population. This would be the ideal situation for the world and the environment.
Having kids sounds miserable, that’s a NOPE for me lol
Having kids IS miserable for people that don't really want them, but have them out of societal obligation or family/peer pressure.
@@Childfree334 it's miserable for most people, even for those who wanted them. Just because you wanted kids, doesn't mean all the stress and exhaustion of raising kids doesn't exist. Like what you think you gonna get good night sleep, travel, and unlimited sex just because you wanted kids??
1:10:00 if I where him I would have worded it a bit differently. Something like "I don't regret you as a person. Because I love you with my whole heart. But I do regret not knowing how extremely difficult being a parent would be. I regret not fully educating and preparing myself for how difficult parenthood would be."
I’m glad about this guys honesty. He sounds like a very intelligent person. This world wants intelligent people to think they are psychotic. But in reality they are just smart.
I’m 40 years old, single/unmarried and childfree all by choice. I love my autonomy and freedom to do whatever I want whenever I want.
what makes me believe that many people secretly regret having children? The fact that NONE of my parents and uncles and aunts are pressuring me or their own kids to become parents. I think it says it all. This said, I still believe that giving life, even in the worst conditions, is still an incredible power and gift. I just don't want the inconvenience. If I were to be a mom, I would want to be such perfect parent that I would go nuts. I would even become controlling just so I'm sure my kids are taking the right path. Which is wrong. I would also be madly disappointed if they happened to become people I dislike with opinions and lifestyles I disapprove of. So I guess there is no need I bring anybody into the world. It's not as if I had super genes that I wanted to pass on anyway. (my thoughts before I watch the video)
You guys make me so happy I never had kids lol
The American guy seems like a guy you wanna be friends with
I’ll stick to one kid. My partner and I wanted more than we started living together, travelling, living our best life and decided one is enough.
Having more kids means our trips to Iceland and Japan are not financially possible anymore. We would need a bigger place but we live in Paris it’s expensive unless we move further away and we don’t want to.
All we’re willing to pay for is one extra bedroom for one child and that’s it.
We will have bunnies instead. They’re cute and quiet
Beard-face's kid was vulnerable enough to ask dad if dad regretted their existence and he said _yes._
Has he ever asked how shitty he was as a dad? Is the kid allowed to tell dad how damaging his crappy father was when it would hurt the most? Did you tell them you _had_ to love them but didn't _like_ them too?
Instead of being so self-centred you could have attempted a decent relationship with your children instead of seeing them as objects.
Yep... I now no longer believe that any parents actually love their children; and unconditional love is laughable bullshit.
I’m shocked of what I’m reading in these comments
j browne I'm shocked that parents are selfish enough to have kids and treat them like objects. They're either an "asset" or a "burden". That's objectifying children as if they don't have their own minds that parents have the most affect on.
The Nuclear Family Unit is a terrible way to raise kids because we're not built to function that way but even that doesn't give anyone the right to tell their kids that you resent them being born.
Parenting shouldn't be taken lightly. I could _never_ do that to an innocent life. It's not surprising so many people don't want kids these days and they should be commended for it; but in reality they get punished.
Having kids is the most selfish thing in the world and doing a poor job is even more selfish. They'll be adults eventually and remember all the resentment.
Children know how to be children, it'd be nice if parents tried raising adults out of children.
These are the same people that spend years trying to convince child-free people to have kids "because it's the best, most fulfilling thing in the world" and then barrage you with reasons why you're a bad person for not wanting to breed.
Being legally forced to have kids is beyond sick when all of this damage is being caused and now we have the most depressed generation that's ever existed.
I'm not sure about this conversation. The one guy keeps justifying his choice of having kid's. How he's raising his kids. The guest has to keep justifying on why he didn't want kid's. I'm not sure what I mean. I know that not all people who decided not have kids had difficult childhoods. And frankly I know or knew people who probably should not have had kid's. My opinion.
It doesn't really bother me if people ask me if I'm going to have kids or not, they're just wondering and I tell them I don't think so, and that's it. It seems like all my child free friends get so butt hurt when people ask them about this, it's just people making conversation and wondering about you, just be happy that people are wondering about you lol. I'd rather have people talk to me than ignore me
I will only have one daughter. One and Done
1 is good
Why even have one? She's gonna be sad she didn't have a sibling. Why do that to her. Unless you've already had her.
@@SS-cd6ie Let me reconsider
@@SS-cd6ie I have a sibling and we're not really friends. Having a sibling isn't always an instantly great experience. It was actually really difficult and added stress growing up.
@@rachelbard4985 I never got along with my sibling either. The point of my comment was only children are often wishing they had siblings and feel deprived.
I had a friend who had served in Vietnam. He felt he earned his respect as a USA Army Soldier in Vietnam. Yet he told me that not having children of his own was one of his biggest life regrets. 🧬🧬🧬🧬🧬🧬🧬🌍💠😎🧭🏛🏝🗽🗝🇺🇸💛⚜🎂
I think it’s better to regret not having than to regret having them.
Ok
@@signsofthetimes886 right lol
@@Shush379 Yep, because if someone wants kids for the right reasons, and is financially prepared to raise one, then adoption is an option.
Just tell the man to get a puppy, they are 100% cuter anyways and much easier and just better than a ugly disgusting baby.
I suddenly wanted children at 47. Its a horrible feeling. Can anyone make me think otherwise?`I need help this summer. Considering suicide.
adopt or foster.
I would get mental health help, it is cruel to bring kids into the world so they will experience suffering a death and how would you cope if they became a criminal, lived thousands of mile away, or disabled.