@@mbob4337 Well, the majority of the woke community IS into way too young children and loves to do stuff that was a reason for jail a fewyears ago. So at least this is consistent...
Yoda is in for it when Luke Skywalker finds out that all that running around the jungle, doing flips, climbing vines, and getting all sweaty that Yoda made him do on Dagobah wasn’t actually a necessary part of Jedi training at all.
You are WRONG! Jedi have to go through the highest training across the universe. Yoda focused a lot of energy and time of Luke because he knew Luke was capable. Yoda knew Luke needed extra attention. Female Jedi are already better than everyone and Yoda needed to feel important. So he found a simple minded male to convince him he was a Jedi. See..Yoda couldn't mansplain this to a female Jedi as Female Jedi are BORN stronger and faster than men. Actually what Yoda never explained, nor did the OG story explain in any shape or form was that men cannot be Jedi. The whole;e story leading up to when Disney took over...The original movies were fan fiction. Disney is telling the true story. Women are the True Jedi. Men are cosplayers at best. So to conclude...Poor Luke. Spent all that time training...when he was actually just pretending.
If I had a dollar for every time the solution to an engineering problem was "just bypass it", I'd have.. zero dollars, because you don't bypass things on complicated machinery. Everything is there for a reason. You replace, repair, tighten, loosen, you never bypass because that's how things end up exploding and killing people.
Yeah good point.. I get the feeling these writers imagine a "heart bypass" would be to have all blood vessels completely bypass the heart to somehow fix the problem, dood.
Meh, not the most egregious thing in the show. May not qualify as "complicated" but there is a pretty common thing called a delete on trucks that bypasses/ removes the exhaust filter which improves engine performance. Just an example off the top of my head, so not completely unheard of, but certainly not some brilliant move either.
@@AteshSeruhn He won't fit inside a tauntaun, he's never seen his toes, when he climbs aboard a starship, he takes up seven rows. If he tells you that he's hungry, you better feed his face, if you see him coming your way, better jump to hyperspace.
Gonna call it now because this is how predictablly stupid the writers are: The Trinity chick faked her own death, sent the assasin after herself to throw the “evil” Jedi off her trail while she plots for this TERRIBLE assassin to somehow kill the “evil” Jedi for whatever reason. All the while she’s calling herself a “Sith” to not be associated with the Jedi. This would explain the “Sith” using a voice modulator and quoting that steel cannot kill a Jedi. There, I spoiled the rest of the series based only on the fact being “impaled” is a formality in DSW and “force healing” is a plot device anyone can do to cheat death.
Oh, but it does, you see Jedi are retarded now and according to this show they have always been retarded, because what does George Lucas know, ey, ey? He's JUST a man; the only one who knows how and why the Force works is an LGBT-whatever stronk wahmen (who was Weinstein's PA but somehow never saw or heard anything......)
yeah lmao wtf supposed to be a different place where things work kinda differently which justifies things- then theres hollywood trying to turn it into an LGBQ theme park so more ppl visit disney world jesus christ why are we here
What was crazy is Osha somehow gets to Torban’s chamber a full minute quicker while never having been in the temple before. While the local Jedi apparently took the longest route.
Ah no. If you pay attention black folks are only allowed around 3 different hairstyles in DEI productions. Tribal braids are pretty mandatory at this point.
No. This is dei in its ultimate form. Hiring people for no reason beyond appearance. It’s as bad as the product of pure nepotism or cronyism. Good writers and entertainers that know nothing about Star Wars can turn out a good Star Wars product. These people cannot.
- I thought they could kind of read minds or at least tell someones innocence in regards to things like murder or seriously dark side stuff which should have had those first jedi who captured oasha exonerating her immediately.
@@Babidi111 There's so many issues the force brings up. Because they kept doing stupid addons, each time. When Lucas added Leia being able to locate Luke. He remember this ability. And had Luke comment and remove himself from the plan, in ROTJ. Fans also added on to this. With the argument. Only people who have known a person for a while. Could locate people with the force. This deals with the problem of making this Force radar a problem for stories. None of these writers want to think this way. So their stories fall apart. Even within its own series. Just like how Obiwan taking FOREVER to use his force powers. When it made no sense. By the logic of kids like broom boy. Using force powers with zero training. Force radar alone would exonerate and prevent twin problems. Because the user should recognize the force user. Mei looks like Ohsa. But won't have her force signature.
@@mbob4337 I even bought it since Luke was openly reaching out to her. Then the enhanced plausibility when we learn they are Twins. But I do feel like large blips in the Force can detect, like Vader sensing Obiwan in the Death Star, and Luke on the shuttle. Like Dragon Ball Z rules, if people are really weak in the Force, they cannot find others with the Force. If someone is super strong in the Force they may not notice those far below them passively. But you get two big Force Auras and they can sense each other.
As a lifelong Peter Sellers fan I give you an A+++ for the Inspector Clouseau situational name drop! Clouseau: There is someone in this rheaum who kneaus more about the meaurder than he is telling. Suspect: Murder? Clouseau: What was that you said? Suspect: I said "murder". Clouseau: What meaurder? Suspect: I-I-I don't know, y-you said "murder". Clouseau: I said meaurder? YEAU said meaurder! Suspect: No, I said murder because you said murder. Clouseau: I SAID MEAURDER?!
The Acolyte is Leslye Headland's mega blockbuster hit show where she shows the world that the only thing holding her back from making a decent show is talent, work ethic, ability, intelligence, creativity, restraint, (self-)respect, selfawareness and basic human decency. The first episode kicks off with a weird fever dream where Trinity is somehow back in the Matrix. But the AI was only fed on Disney Star Wars content so the world and its rules make no damn sense. What follows is fight scene between Trinity and evil feminized discount Rick James which is initiated by one of Rick James' greatest hits. "Attack me with all your strength!" -> translation -> "Give it to me baby". But 5 minutes into the show Trinity realizes "wait a minute, this is really god damn stupid" and just dies out of embarresment for being in this travisty. What follows is a murder mystery without an actual murder mystery with good feminized discount Rick James in the middle of it. It is considered so incredibly complex that not even the Teletubbies wanted to give it a shoot because it would be an insult to their intellect. We get the strong implication that this is indeed a simulation because good feminized discount Rick James' awesomeness creates a glitch in the Matrix that makes fire burn slowly without oxygen in space. Later there is a prison break caused by a prisoner with the ability to mind control droids which could easily have been prevented if the droids controlling the ship would have encrypted their connection with Nord VPN. The episode ends with a ripoff scene from The Fugitive minus the stakes and the tension which makes good feminized discount Rick James act so stupid that one has to ask if she really trained to be a Jedi as a kid or that's what they told her and instead she visited a school for children with special needs. The premise of the second episode is that there is a Jedi master floating around in a room for the last 10 years until evil feminized discount Rick James tries to promt "Give it to me baby" on him but he doesn't like the song at all so this time it doesn't work. This guy's behavior marks the final confirmation that this isn't the world of Star Wars but a simulation within the Matrix because this Jedi acts entirely like an NPC. His clothes are clean, his facial hair looks like it's been taken care of and there is no sign of human excrements which would pile on after 10 years of not leaving this position. Evil feminized discount Rick James can't penetrate the force field with her song because of plot armor and those aren't the lines programmed into the NPC that causes him to interact with one of the other characters. Somehow she finds out what this NPC is all about, appearently she was able to have a look at his code because he also didn't encrypt his connection with Nord VPN. She phrases the lines nessesary to interact with him and hands him a vile that contains her song in liquified form which makes totally sense in the wolrd of Disney Star Wars and alignes with the loophole-free and tight worldbuilding we have seen so far in this show. He detests this song so much that it causes him to die of cringe especially after realizing that from here on out this "plotline" will only become even more god damn stupid. It seems obvious that with this show Leslye Headland wanted to impress her spiritual role model Steven Seagal. Like this show, Seagal movies make no sense what so ever and with a completion of just 25% of the runtime, the audience's intelligence and morals have been assaulted multiple times already. The main character turns always out to be the villain without Seagal/Disney realizing it. It's always a guy/in Disney's case girlboss with a dark past who goes on a killing spree for revenge and ends up causing way more destruction especially on innocent bystanders. But it's considered okay for the movie/show because it is Steven Seagal/current girlboss. After supressing those urges to kill the innocent, Seagal finally decides to kill the villain because the runtime of the movie almost hits 90 minutes and after that he has to work for free. Leslye Headland even managed to give us the closest to an actual Steven Seagal cameo in episode 2 representing Seagal with the morbidly obese Jedi padavan. It's like in his movies when most of the time it's not Seagal but a body double just for walking/waddling around and making the rest of the female cast uncomfortable and several times they have a voice over from the janitor whenever Seagal's mumbling becomes too incohesive or incomprehensible. And if there is one thing that Disney and Seagal movies taught us it's that even now it can always get much worse.
Ppl have to realize that these shows are parody. Hood and Aco are what you get when the showrunners can’t distinguish between authenticity and parody. They just duplicate what they see which these days is half parody. So every single creative choice has a 50/50 chance of being an accidental parody of reality. Crazy stuff.
@@Xbalanque84 ya. But the showrunners can’t understand the difference so they do a parodyesque show without the humor. In its own way it is the driest and darkest humor of all. Geniuses!
You sir, are a legend! This video provided more entertainment than the first two Acolyte episodes combined. Due to your superb reviews and the already legendary Starfield Rant you deserve at least 1 million subs ASAP.
“As intimidating as a person blowing their nose” made me recall the covid propaganda from the media- “I remember when a sneeze didn’t sound like a gun shot”
I think the plot and how it develops reflects the lack of focus, short attention span and the incapacity of delaying gratification of everyone involved in the writing.
Dude! The confused Jedi is in this episode, he thought more body mass meant more Force Potential, or more Midi-chlorians. He’s gonna steal Yoda’s hovercraft-hoverround chair!
@@karatachi69 the people of wall-e were just naive, and under-developed in bone structur, because of their multi generations living in space with very low gravity and lack of physical exercise. because the robots took care of everything for far too long. their "space cruise" was plannen to be about 10 years not 700, of course that had very negative effects...
Been subbed here for a few years and let me tell you Az lost a LOT a weight several chins worth. He's put in an amazing amount of work to better himself.
I have friends who are still fans and watch this and even they can't explain what's happening, you can see the shine in their eye vanish as they try to convince you "It's still Star Wars guys."
I think I realize why we do not see Yoda, he saw what was going on on and said stupid these people are, out of here I am . He found a nice beach to hang out at for a couple centuries until smart people were in charge again.
"Attack me with all of your strength" - Repeatedly gets curbstomped by Jedi who barely fight back. What does the Acolyte expect is going to happen when she fights a Jedi that ACTUALLY does attack her with all of their strength ? This series is still in the timeframe to let Yoda show up... watch her get plastered by a 500 year old puppet.
I didn’t think it would get any better (by which I mean worse) then Az having to describe Robyn in Da Hood, but this series is going to bring me infinite joy, not by watching a second of it, but by watching Az melt down weekly.
So good!🤣🤣🤣 At least Minons franchise understands that the cater to families. Universal Studios in Florida has great Minons merchandise, bakery, and Cafe.
Yeah, but AZ pointed out they have REALLY let themselves go since yonder grand days of Brotherhood of Darkness and the canon story that once was and still should be
One single powerful push can create the dust cloud. You can go to an area with dry soil and aim a leaf blower straight down and whip up a big cloud of dust pretty easy. Clearing it out would require a lot more force over a much wider area. Trying to blow that same dust cloud clear with the leaf blower would be much more difficult. Granted some of the things they've shown the force doing in this show and other recent Disney sludge makes it seem like a constant wide-area push wouldn't be that big of a deal, though. They never seem to think of having force users counter what other force abilities are used in these shows.
@@ElecManEXE even with a wide area force push taking a bit more, there is still the fact that every Jedi of at least middling skill level has the classic remote training. Headland can borrow the line, and NOT remember the scene it was used for? But it shouldn’t be surprising considering they are supposed to be all about pronouns and forgot that R2 has identified as he/him since episode 4 released in theaters. Makes it awful difficult to claim he’s a lesbian, especially when he extends a third leg, and is called on frequently for his expertise to plug into an outlet to get what he’s looking for. If anything, that makes him their worst nightmare: a Chad player. They want to play the dirty game, they should try researching first.
Oh, without a doubt, I'm not saying they shouldn't be able to beat a dust cloud. Many ways they should easily get around that, especially with how they absolutely dominated mop head just minutes ago. In order for it to actually work the Jedi have to lose all their abilities for no reason. Bad writing in obvious effect, she needs to get away for the plot to happen and they either can't think of a way to get her away convincingly *or* they think the solution they came up with is actually super clever and convincing. Considering she's an assassin and she uses throwing knives and poison, I'm assuming they think a dust cloud is a super cool ninja technique and don't even care that it's dumb and should in no way work because it fits the picture they're trying to paint.
@shadf7902 I guess Headcase made all the actors watch fight club b4 they started filming and she didn't seem upset when the twins got leaked. So it makes sense she has some other "twist" It won't save that sh*t show
In legends, there was a hutt dark jedi. Most hutts are obese because of indulging in the excesses of their lavish lifestyles, but this hutt was swoll as can be because of his training. Jedi training does not allow one to become obese because it is a strict way of mental self discipline and physical training. And dark jedi/sith aren't going to become obese because they're so focused on becoming powerful that anything that would get in the way of their strength (like eating too much) would be discarded.
@@-Keith-yeah... i read most of the books written before the prequels came out and spawned a bunch of prequel books....i don't remember the titles to most anymore, or what other stuff came out...i kept them for some reason unlike many hundreds of other books i donated to goodwill ..i guess Disney may want to burn them all .. lol
So to be clear: disney thinks all black people have dreds.
Remember Stereotyping is not bad when they do it. Like Headland saying C3po is gay. Because his voice. Even though a 9 year old Anikin programed him.
That's certainly what it looks like.
@@mbob4337 Well, the majority of the woke community IS into way too young children and loves to do stuff that was a reason for jail a fewyears ago.
So at least this is consistent...
They do tho
@@mbob4337Not gay just British. 😂
So now the Force has the Light Side, the Dark Side, and the Side of Extra Gravy.
Or a side of fruit salad.
1: attack me with all of your strength
2: no, I don't think I will
1: why not?
2: the way you asked was cringe
😂😂😂😂 Can I like this comment twice?
Literally shouting "HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT!" at each of her targets with all the nervous warbling of a tantruming toddler.
1 : why not?
2 : it seemed a bit gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
"Okay. Attack me with half your strength. Please?"
@@primmakinsofis614 no, I don’t want to. It still sounds like cringe
Yoda is in for it when Luke Skywalker finds out that all that running around the jungle, doing flips, climbing vines, and getting all sweaty that Yoda made him do on Dagobah wasn’t actually a necessary part of Jedi training at all.
maybe yoda saw the state of jedi training at this time and instituted a must be able to climb stairs at a slight incline testing requirement.
You are WRONG! Jedi have to go through the highest training across the universe. Yoda focused a lot of energy and time of Luke because he knew Luke was capable. Yoda knew Luke needed extra attention. Female Jedi are already better than everyone and Yoda needed to feel important. So he found a simple minded male to convince him he was a Jedi. See..Yoda couldn't mansplain this to a female Jedi as Female Jedi are BORN stronger and faster than men. Actually what Yoda never explained, nor did the OG story explain in any shape or form was that men cannot be Jedi. The whole;e story leading up to when Disney took over...The original movies were fan fiction. Disney is telling the true story. Women are the True Jedi. Men are cosplayers at best. So to conclude...Poor Luke. Spent all that time training...when he was actually just pretending.
@@jasonnames 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Disney should be charged with necrophilia at this point.
Hahahahahahahahahahaha
The pride community says we need to let people love whoever they love.
@@thestarisalie Yup! LGBTIAN!
LOL The algorithm literally deleted my two word post for suggesting a relevant company also provided that corpse.
lmao!
its not illegal in California
Someone who writes "Attack me with all of your strength" in the script clearly has never been in a fight before.
"Attack me with all your strength!" "Surely, you can't be serious?" "I am serious and stop calling me Shirley!"
Roger Roger.
Literally shouting "HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT!" at each of her targets with all the nervous warbling of a tantruming toddler.
The Jedi Temple!? What is it!?
It's a big building where jedi train, but that's not important right now
Monty Python: "Attack me with the banana. What about a pointed stick?"
@@----.__ "What's our vector, Victor?"
Az. Come on. They didn't make Order 66 Chicken McNuggets fat just because they hate men. They also hate health and fitness and competency.
If I had a dollar for every time the solution to an engineering problem was "just bypass it", I'd have.. zero dollars, because you don't bypass things on complicated machinery. Everything is there for a reason. You replace, repair, tighten, loosen, you never bypass because that's how things end up exploding and killing people.
Have you heard of Boeing masters of the bypass irw
Well said!
Yeah good point.. I get the feeling these writers imagine a "heart bypass" would be to have all blood vessels completely bypass the heart to somehow fix the problem, dood.
Hey, I bypassed the automatic shutdown system at Chernobyl and NOTHING went wrong! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!! *shifty eyes*
Meh, not the most egregious thing in the show. May not qualify as "complicated" but there is a pretty common thing called a delete on trucks that bypasses/ removes the exhaust filter which improves engine performance. Just an example off the top of my head, so not completely unheard of, but certainly not some brilliant move either.
Someone who worked for Weinstein has a character 'flirt' with a child? Nah... couldn't see THAT coming...
When Fatawan sits around the Death Star, he sits AROUND the Death Star.
Does his shadow weigh 42 lbs, ba any chance? 😏
@@AteshSeruhn Naw his shadow has its own gravitational pull
He sat on a credit coin and a booger popped out of Palpatine's nose.
From what I remember from Luke's training to be a Jedi it's pretty physical, dude would totally lose that 4th chin if he was a true Jedi in training.
@@AteshSeruhn He won't fit inside a tauntaun, he's never seen his toes, when he climbs aboard a starship, he takes up seven rows. If he tells you that he's hungry, you better feed his face, if you see him coming your way, better jump to hyperspace.
"I'll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda." -Fatawan.
We now return to "AZ losing his mind..."
Hoo raayyy!!🥳
(YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM)
One of the few highligths in entertainment today..
Thanks to our sponsor, Disney.
"losing"?
The irony is that if they did attack her with all their strength the show would’ve ended in the first scene.
In a perfect world, it would have!
would have been a far better story then...
Gonna call it now because this is how predictablly stupid the writers are: The Trinity chick faked her own death, sent the assasin after herself to throw the “evil” Jedi off her trail while she plots for this TERRIBLE assassin to somehow kill the “evil” Jedi for whatever reason. All the while she’s calling herself a “Sith” to not be associated with the Jedi. This would explain the “Sith” using a voice modulator and quoting that steel cannot kill a Jedi.
There, I spoiled the rest of the series based only on the fact being “impaled” is a formality in DSW and “force healing” is a plot device anyone can do to cheat death.
"Nah, I'd win" but realised in show
No, she would have just screamed 'racism' and the Jedi would have backed off, grovelled and just let her win.
A Jedi is basically a samurai, ninja, and Olympic athlete all rolled into one. How tf could a human Jedi possibly be overweight? It makes NO sense.
YAS YAS! that's what I thought too.
Oh, but it does, you see Jedi are retarded now and according to this show they have always been retarded, because what does George Lucas know, ey, ey? He's JUST a man; the only one who knows how and why the Force works is an LGBT-whatever stronk wahmen (who was Weinstein's PA but somehow never saw or heard anything......)
The force is fat with this one
FORCE FEEDING
The heavy side of the Farce is strong in this one.
Yes apparently Jedi are susceptible to dust clouds, steak knives, and the McDonalds dollar menu…
Is that why the Dollar Menu is gone? All the Jedis except Rey died?
The Acolshite......
A-hole light?🤷
I read coprolite somewhere the other day. For those not in the know, a coprolite is an ancient turd turned fossil.
ActualShite
Acodyke
AcoShyte
As "Dark Helmet" so eloquently pointed out ... "now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.".
And - not unlike modern Star Wars fans - "I'm surrounded by assholes." I pray for Az's sanity.
Dark helmet has a point
"The Force has three sides: Dark, Light and Heavy" - Fat Jedi
The force has three side: dark, light and harvey weinstein.
the force like duck tape has 3 sides...dark light and sticky!
@@thestarisaliethe 👃 side of the Force
"It costs 400 thousand dollars to record a fight scene for 12 seconds"
His midichlorian levels are "Ragu."
The ultimate in DEI television. The scary part: United Airlines thinks the same philosophy that led to this show, is great for picking pilots.
"In a galaxy far far away". Not far away enough if you ask me.
yeah lmao wtf
supposed to be a different place where things work kinda differently which justifies things- then theres hollywood trying to turn it into an LGBQ theme park so more ppl visit disney world jesus christ why are we here
What was crazy is Osha somehow gets to Torban’s chamber a full minute quicker while never having been in the temple before. While the local Jedi apparently took the longest route.
And Brown Boy Summer, who was tailing her, let her sneak in.
The way you pulled out "Gay Ryan Kinel" knocked me out of my chair. Wasn't expecting that.
It knocked the actor's hair too
I cant unsee it 😂
Local jedi temple
Gay Ryan Kinel = Ryan Kinel?
-er. GayER Ryan Kinel.
JEDI: Just Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion
they had the same hair because they didn't have money in the budget for two different wigs
Ah no. If you pay attention black folks are only allowed around 3 different hairstyles in DEI productions. Tribal braids are pretty mandatory at this point.
This show cost $9000 per second
@@floydlooney6837 Makes ya wonder where the money went…
@CarlWheatley-wi2cl This was the mop option. Those aren't dreads.
@@CarlWheatley-wi2cl that side head shave is at least one of the options.
"A wookiee appears and I don't give a shit."
The current state of Star Wars fandom in a nutshell.
Considering how many lesbians are in this show, wouldn't the McDonald's order be filet-o-fish?
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The filet-o-fish also happens to be the worst thing on the menu
😂awesome
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@weswolever7477 Putting cheese on a fish sandwich is vile.
Assassin in the Moss Eisley bar, "Attack me with all of your strength."
Han Solo just shoots her, "Yep, I shot first. Deal with it!"
George no no you shot second. You see
Your not a murderer
Han grrrrrrrr
@@dimitriwarchief301 you can't shoot until Greedo has the final word. Maclunkey.
This is what happens when you hire people that don't know anything about Star Wars. They think it's all about magic and sword fights.
This is what happens when you hire shit tier writers.
and basic murder mystery writing
No. This is dei in its ultimate form. Hiring people for no reason beyond appearance. It’s as bad as the product of pure nepotism or cronyism.
Good writers and entertainers that know nothing about Star Wars can turn out a good Star Wars product. These people cannot.
@@mansiondave23 A good writer would at least do some research into the subject he/she was writing about.
Kathleen Kennedy literally told Lesley to "make your story" !!! What the actual f**k???
The way dude looks like a Bee Gee is hilarious..
"Attack me with all your might..."
"Night Fever.. Night FEEEVEER!!"
Now I cant unsee it
Remember Riva when she could detect Obiwan. I love how that force ability no longer exists.
"That's not how the force works."
Some dead guy.
Dave baloney everybody.
Chef creative officer.
Anakin didn't know he was bad.
😂😂😂😂😂
- I thought they could kind of read minds or at least tell someones innocence in regards to things like murder or seriously dark side stuff which should have had those first jedi who captured oasha exonerating her immediately.
@@Babidi111 There's so many issues the force brings up. Because they kept doing stupid addons, each time. When Lucas added Leia being able to locate Luke. He remember this ability. And had Luke comment and remove himself from the plan, in ROTJ. Fans also added on to this. With the argument. Only people who have known a person for a while. Could locate people with the force. This deals with the problem of making this Force radar a problem for stories. None of these writers want to think this way. So their stories fall apart. Even within its own series. Just like how Obiwan taking FOREVER to use his force powers. When it made no sense. By the logic of kids like broom boy. Using force powers with zero training. Force radar alone would exonerate and prevent twin problems. Because the user should recognize the force user. Mei looks like Ohsa. But won't have her force signature.
@@mbob4337 I even bought it since Luke was openly reaching out to her. Then the enhanced plausibility when we learn they are Twins. But I do feel like large blips in the Force can detect, like Vader sensing Obiwan in the Death Star, and Luke on the shuttle. Like Dragon Ball Z rules, if people are really weak in the Force, they cannot find others with the Force. If someone is super strong in the Force they may not notice those far below them passively. But you get two big Force Auras and they can sense each other.
@@JKurayami I'm fine with that defense. But Riva ruined all of this. So in returned screwed every damn show and movie before and after.
As a lifelong Peter Sellers fan I give you an A+++ for the Inspector Clouseau situational name drop!
Clouseau:
There is someone in this rheaum who kneaus more about the meaurder than he is telling.
Suspect:
Murder?
Clouseau:
What was that you said?
Suspect:
I said "murder".
Clouseau:
What meaurder?
Suspect:
I-I-I don't know, y-you said "murder".
Clouseau:
I said meaurder? YEAU said meaurder!
Suspect:
No, I said murder because you said murder.
Clouseau:
I SAID MEAURDER?!
“Does your dog bite?”
“No”
(Dog bites man)
“I thought you said your dog doesn’t bite!?”
“That is not my dog..”
One of the super chats yesterday had me rolling - "Lesbian Headlamps, personal taste tester for Harvey Weinstein". Oof!
Ohhhhhh, that is horrible and hilarious all in one. 🤣😂🤣
Royston Vasey? "A local shop for local people. We'll have no trouble here!"
Who live locally.
Can also be "There's nothing for you here" as the final sentence. 😂
Well this is definitely not a spoof like "the naked gun" , because "the naked gun" was actually freaking aqesome and funny!
The Naked Gun had a plot as well.
Having that chainsaw powered d1ldo from The Naked Gun in this show would be PRICELESS,( and appropriate). Lezlie H. could just bring hers from home.
Yeah this is more in line with the SeltzerBerg films.
The Acolyte is Leslye Headland's mega blockbuster hit show where she shows the world that the only thing holding her back from making a decent show is talent, work ethic, ability, intelligence, creativity, restraint, (self-)respect, selfawareness and basic human decency.
The first episode kicks off with a weird fever dream where Trinity is somehow back in the Matrix. But the AI was only fed on Disney Star Wars content so the world and its rules make no damn sense. What follows is fight scene between Trinity and evil feminized discount Rick James which is initiated by one of Rick James' greatest hits.
"Attack me with all your strength!" -> translation -> "Give it to me baby".
But 5 minutes into the show Trinity realizes "wait a minute, this is really god damn stupid" and just dies out of embarresment for being in this travisty.
What follows is a murder mystery without an actual murder mystery with good feminized discount Rick James in the middle of it.
It is considered so incredibly complex that not even the Teletubbies wanted to give it a shoot because it would be an insult to their intellect.
We get the strong implication that this is indeed a simulation because good feminized discount Rick James' awesomeness creates a glitch in the Matrix that makes fire burn slowly without oxygen in space. Later there is a prison break caused by a prisoner with the ability to mind control droids which could easily have been prevented if the droids controlling the ship would have encrypted their connection with Nord VPN.
The episode ends with a ripoff scene from The Fugitive minus the stakes and the tension which makes good feminized discount Rick James act so stupid that one has to ask if she really trained to be a Jedi as a kid or that's what they told her and instead she visited a school for children with special needs.
The premise of the second episode is that there is a Jedi master floating around in a room for the last 10 years until evil feminized discount Rick James tries to promt "Give it to me baby" on him but he doesn't like the song at all so this time it doesn't work. This guy's behavior marks the final confirmation that this isn't the world of Star Wars but a simulation within the Matrix because this Jedi acts entirely like an NPC. His clothes are clean, his facial hair looks like it's been taken care of and there is no sign of human excrements which would pile on after 10 years of not leaving this position. Evil feminized discount Rick James can't penetrate the force field with her song because of plot armor and those aren't the lines programmed into the NPC that causes him to interact with one of the other characters. Somehow she finds out what this NPC is all about, appearently she was able to have a look at his code because he also didn't encrypt his connection with Nord VPN.
She phrases the lines nessesary to interact with him and hands him a vile that contains her song in liquified form which makes totally sense in the wolrd of Disney Star Wars and alignes with the loophole-free and tight worldbuilding we have seen so far in this show. He detests this song so much that it causes him to die of cringe especially after realizing that from here on out this "plotline" will only become even more god damn stupid.
It seems obvious that with this show Leslye Headland wanted to impress her spiritual role model Steven Seagal.
Like this show, Seagal movies make no sense what so ever and with a completion of just 25% of the runtime, the audience's intelligence and morals have been assaulted multiple times already. The main character turns always out to be the villain without Seagal/Disney realizing it. It's always a guy/in Disney's case girlboss with a dark past who goes on a killing spree for revenge and ends up causing way more destruction especially on innocent bystanders. But it's considered okay for the movie/show because it is Steven Seagal/current girlboss. After supressing those urges to kill the innocent, Seagal finally decides to kill the villain because the runtime of the movie almost hits 90 minutes and after that he has to work for free.
Leslye Headland even managed to give us the closest to an actual Steven Seagal cameo in episode 2 representing Seagal with the morbidly obese Jedi padavan. It's like in his movies when most of the time it's not Seagal but a body double just for walking/waddling around and making the rest of the female cast uncomfortable and several times they have a voice over from the janitor whenever Seagal's mumbling becomes too incohesive or incomprehensible.
And if there is one thing that Disney and Seagal movies taught us it's that even now it can always get much worse.
Space Ice, is that you? 😂
@@wht-rabt-obj I would love to see Space Ice do a bit about Disney Star Wars. This is truly comparable to Steven Seagals finest work
Obese One Kenobi has a glucose counts 100x more than master yoda with diabetic midiclorians.
Fast Food restaurant manager (points at the guy): "He is the Chosen One. Long has it been foretold that he shall bring balance to the Fries."
@@clefsan "Are you an angel?"
His insulin needs are over 50,000!
He’s more ice cream now than man
Struth mate. Obese One Kenobi gave me my first involuntary belly laugh in days.
Hotpie from Game of Thrones is learning the ways of the Force.
It's a murder and a mystery. The murder of the star wars franchise and a mystery of who TF greenlit this!?!?
YOU WIN
Speaking of "Naked Gun", that "Oh boy!" delivery was Leslie Neilson levels of deadpan there Az!
Very well done.
The Robyan Hood noises never gets old.
Ppl have to realize that these shows are parody. Hood and Aco are what you get when the showrunners can’t distinguish between authenticity and parody. They just duplicate what they see which these days is half parody. So every single creative choice has a 50/50 chance of being an accidental parody of reality. Crazy stuff.
Not as good as George lionheart Floyd. I rewatch those videos just to hear him sing it
_"We be robbin', robbin', robbin'..."_ [clinking pans together]
@@1237barca
Parodies are meant to entertain. *This is anti-entertainment.*
@@Xbalanque84 ya. But the showrunners can’t understand the difference so they do a parodyesque show without the humor. In its own way it is the driest and darkest humor of all. Geniuses!
You sir, are a legend! This video provided more entertainment than the first two Acolyte episodes combined. Due to your superb reviews and the already legendary Starfield Rant you deserve at least 1 million subs ASAP.
Execute Order Scissor Six ✂✂
We're missing a few scissors =)
And then, the Mary Sueth convinced the entire Jedi order to commit [CTRL-ALT-DEL] at once. And there was much rejoicing/scissoring.
@@Pentti_Hilkuri FOOKING SCISSORING!! If you get that reference, you've seen AZ's hilarious "Ocean Man" music video.
yaaz yaaz acodyke
Rachel Zegler: Most hated actress she/her/it in Holywoke"...
Amandla Stenberg: "Hold my queer saber"....
Scientists long have known that two women can not make a baby, but in Star Wars the experiments continue.
yaaz yaaz
ZERO chance
Yet. I'm sure someone will come up with a way to merge two eggs into a fetus. And then lesbians will outlaw men.
“As intimidating as a person blowing their nose” made me recall the covid propaganda from the media-
“I remember when a sneeze didn’t sound like a gun shot”
Jedi : Order 66 ......... Cheese burgers
Clone trooper : " Order 66 " raises rifle ....... lowers it " Cheese burgers "
Jedi : raises eyebrow , " Chese burgers "
…..and a diet Coke.
@@DHB373 Jedi: "Diet?"
Clone Trooper: "I am trying to lose weight"
Jedi: Raises eyebrow.
It looks like an AI-generated Dr. Pepper meme.
"I’ll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda."
This is something I’d definitely hear in a Robot Chicken Star Wars parody
I think the plot and how it develops reflects the lack of focus, short attention span and the incapacity of delaying gratification of everyone involved in the writing.
RESPECT THE SOURCE MATERIAL!
"Order 66 Big Macs" was already PERFECT!
Fat Jedi: “I bypassed the compressor!”
Master Jedi: “Try passing by Burger King next time.”
Order 69?!
Operation: Scissor Wars.
When lesbians do it, it’s 88.
Dude! The confused Jedi is in this episode, he thought more body mass meant more Force Potential, or more Midi-chlorians. He’s gonna steal Yoda’s hovercraft-hoverround chair!
@@brockdavid like the Wall-E fat people of Jedi. cue the Tokyo Drift music meme in here somewhere!
@@karatachi69 the people of wall-e were just naive, and under-developed in bone structur, because of their multi generations living in space with very low gravity and lack of physical exercise. because the robots took care of everything for far too long. their "space cruise" was plannen to be about 10 years not 700, of course that had very negative effects...
It sounds like the jedi master took the poison, so he doesn't have to listen to her cringe anymore.
"But Az, you're fat too!"
But you're working on that, meanwhile, Chicken McNuggets there looks perfectly happy where he is...
… strong female Jedi.
The sauce is strong with that one…
@@Nebarus lol! super-sized Jedi.
Been subbed here for a few years and let me tell you Az lost a LOT a weight several chins worth. He's put in an amazing amount of work to better himself.
"I'll have 2 number 66, a number 66 large..." Master Lard-o
In Hollywood, "might be" means "definitely is." Leslye Headland learned that from her sith master.
I'm starting to think she might have been a lot more than just an apprentice on her job... funny how Harvey took the fall and she's untouched...
@@Xbalanque84 its insane she is given a pass
@@captaintoyota3171yeah, Quentin Tarantino as well, another scumbag enabler who turned a blind eye while HW bankrolled every single film he made.
Its amazing how Guislane Maxwell got sent down but Lesbian Headlamp gets off scot free
Only Sith deal in absolutes
So, two sisters, one of them presumed dead, turns evil, goes around kills people. The second one just letting her go.
So, it's batwoman, IN SPACE!
'Do you want a can of can't? '
Do I get the 5 slurpo points?
"TROUBLE...trouble, we'll have no trouble here"
When the director casts friends and family into a show without considering the implications to an organisation.
Haha, Ghey Ryan Kinel! It cannot, and will not, be UNSEEN!
Happy Mens Mental Health Awareness Month.
Star Wars:"No Country for White Men"
Exactly…real Star Wars was a galaxy of white men😂
"The actual spoof, Spaceballs, is more Star Wars than Star Wars. Ironic." - *Palpatine*
I bet AZ is regretting that diet now. If he had remained on his fat trajectory he could have become a Jedi.
This is hilarious 😂 I laughed so hard I cried. It's a shame the Acolyte has only 8 episodes, the TH-cam content is so good
This is a local jedi temple, for local jedi, there's nothing for you here!
Now Skeeter, he ain't hurtin' no one!
We didn't burn him!
The whole review was amazing man. But damn did that last 1 minute have me literally laughing my ass off!
I have friends who are still fans and watch this and even they can't explain what's happening, you can see the shine in their eye vanish as they try to convince you "It's still Star Wars guys."
ag shame. I have a friend like this as well. and they love this trash.
Shark eyes. They get shark eyes when they explain how this is tooootally still Star Wars.
Cognitive dissonance.
Sorry to hear that brother ....
Star wars is shite. All of it. Even the first one. Go and watch it... you'll see how it's been tainted by the memory of the 'modern' films and series.
I think I realize why we do not see Yoda, he saw what was going on on and said stupid these people are, out of here I am . He found a nice beach to hang out at for a couple centuries until smart people were in charge again.
Well I hope Yoda enjoys the beach because he might be there a for while because nearly everyone at Disney is delusional stupid.
"Brown boy summer"- love it!
I think of him as No-Chin Corkscrew..
lol
What happens when you mix star wars , velma , rings of power and Harvey's drug stache ? You get this show
"Attack me with all of your strength"
- Repeatedly gets curbstomped by Jedi who barely fight back.
What does the Acolyte expect is going to happen when she fights a Jedi that ACTUALLY does attack her with all of their strength ?
This series is still in the timeframe to let Yoda show up... watch her get plastered by a 500 year old puppet.
Literally shouting "HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT!" at each of her targets with all the nervous warbling of a tantruming toddler.
God it ould be great if it actually Edward Norton’d her
In an instant goes from 1/10 to 10/10
@@Xbalanque84I read that in 1980s song lyrics.
"Attack me with all of your strength"
-Force Throws assassin off the nearest cliff
-goes back to sipping space beer
The 'Yoda Slap, but in reverse'
Damn... Your commentaries on these episodes are the best on TH-cam.. 😂
Disparu's are pretty good too so I always watch both taking turns on who gets to tell me the plot first but still watching the other.
11:05 omg that had me in bits, absolute savage 🤣
This assassin has studied the Rusty Shackelford technique 'pocket sand'? Stunning and brave.
5:20 Well you see AZ, It's most likely Lesleys Wife is the secret Sith Master that appeared at the end of episode one.
I'm calling it now.
Makes sense. In this context of nepotism, it's not "scissoring" but "Sithoring".
Which is why she was so quick to let the others out blame on her patsy.
@@robv5188 And the friction from which is the source of their power.
That’s what I thought too. Fits in nicely with giving her wife an acting job she is not qualified for.
I didn’t think it would get any better (by which I mean worse) then Az having to describe Robyn in Da Hood, but this series is going to bring me infinite joy, not by watching a second of it, but by watching Az melt down weekly.
"He looks like a gay Ryan Kinel."
Wait, Ryan Kinel isn't already the gay version of Ryan Kinel?
Yoda will show up with a full head of hair and sporting a little padawan braid.
Ngl, Az, I'm happy to see the Robyn Hood gagging carry-on. Lol
You know Az, the most surprising and enjoyable thing in this whole video was your singing!
Question, how did she expect to administer the poison?
Like aerosolized would prob work but if it was meant to be drank... wtf.
I haven't laughed this hard at recaps since the Robyin Hood series! I know watching this 💩 is killing you, but thank you! 😂😂😂
Execute order 66 Chicken McNuggets? Will be done my lord.
Hahaha, a crime Clouseau could solve. I instantly pictured Peter Sellers running around in Jedi robes. Hahaha. Man I love that.
Actually, I wanna draw that now. Give him a pink lightsaber, using the Pink Panther diamond as the focus gem?
My poor, beloved Star Wars...how far the mighty have fallen
Based on the first two episodes, the galaxy desperately needed the Empire to wipe out the jedi.
So good!🤣🤣🤣 At least Minons franchise understands that the cater to families. Universal Studios in Florida has great Minons merchandise, bakery, and Cafe.
if she had a hardhat and a ladder with her nobody would thought she was trespassing in the temple. works in real life sometimes....a friend told me
If a force user can create a dust cloud, I'm pretty sure a jedi master could clear the cloud with a wave of his hand.
Yeah, but AZ pointed out they have REALLY let themselves go since yonder grand days of Brotherhood of Darkness and the canon story that once was and still should be
One single powerful push can create the dust cloud. You can go to an area with dry soil and aim a leaf blower straight down and whip up a big cloud of dust pretty easy. Clearing it out would require a lot more force over a much wider area. Trying to blow that same dust cloud clear with the leaf blower would be much more difficult.
Granted some of the things they've shown the force doing in this show and other recent Disney sludge makes it seem like a constant wide-area push wouldn't be that big of a deal, though. They never seem to think of having force users counter what other force abilities are used in these shows.
@@ElecManEXE even with a wide area force push taking a bit more, there is still the fact that every Jedi of at least middling skill level has the classic remote training. Headland can borrow the line, and NOT remember the scene it was used for? But it shouldn’t be surprising considering they are supposed to be all about pronouns and forgot that R2 has identified as he/him since episode 4 released in theaters. Makes it awful difficult to claim he’s a lesbian, especially when he extends a third leg, and is called on frequently for his expertise to plug into an outlet to get what he’s looking for. If anything, that makes him their worst nightmare: a Chad player.
They want to play the dirty game, they should try researching first.
Oh, without a doubt, I'm not saying they shouldn't be able to beat a dust cloud. Many ways they should easily get around that, especially with how they absolutely dominated mop head just minutes ago. In order for it to actually work the Jedi have to lose all their abilities for no reason.
Bad writing in obvious effect, she needs to get away for the plot to happen and they either can't think of a way to get her away convincingly *or* they think the solution they came up with is actually super clever and convincing. Considering she's an assassin and she uses throwing knives and poison, I'm assuming they think a dust cloud is a super cool ninja technique and don't even care that it's dumb and should in no way work because it fits the picture they're trying to paint.
I run a local co-op channel for local people so, reference got, about to enjoy a freshly opened 'I can I can't'
"...he looks like a gay Ryan Kinel, don't worry about that bit..." 😂
Redundant statement, but still funny.
Amandla is having some extraordinary skills. She got the 1st place from Rachel Zegler in fans interactions.
Apparently, there are not 2 sisters and we have a fight club situation going on. This I guess is the real twist they are aiming for.
Thats about the dumbest thing they could come up with, so I 100% believe it.
@shadf7902 I guess Headcase made all the actors watch fight club b4 they started filming and she didn't seem upset when the twins got leaked. So it makes sense she has some other "twist"
It won't save that sh*t show
it's not her sister, it's the force all along because the force is female.
'Master squid game...' i nearly chocked on my coffee at that
Listening to Brown Boy Summer ask good questions and get shut down reminds me of Jerry from Rick & Morty do the same, to the same result. Huh.
10:45. The button on that tunic is doing overtime.
All Jedi can be defeated by sand canon confirmed.
To be fair, sand is pretty rough, it gets everywhere and it can be distracting.
And people laughed at me when I said I was a fan of SANDpeople.
I heard a certain Jedi didn't like sand.
That's why Vader doesn't hate it, but Anakin does. And why Rey likes sand. HHHHHmmmmmm...
@@cheeseburgersuperior1874 Sand is the substance of the dark side!
6:39 I feel a disturbance in mystery writing. As if millions of "little grey cells" cried out "sacré bleu!" and suddenly went silent in in disgust.
In legends, there was a hutt dark jedi. Most hutts are obese because of indulging in the excesses of their lavish lifestyles, but this hutt was swoll as can be because of his training. Jedi training does not allow one to become obese because it is a strict way of mental self discipline and physical training. And dark jedi/sith aren't going to become obese because they're so focused on becoming powerful that anything that would get in the way of their strength (like eating too much) would be discarded.
Leia fought a hutt force user in one of the books
@@GH-ub7qz Same one that I was talking about
@@-Keith-yeah... i read most of the books written before the prequels came out and spawned a bunch of prequel books....i don't remember the titles to most anymore, or what other stuff came out...i kept them for some reason unlike many hundreds of other books i donated to goodwill ..i guess Disney may want to burn them all .. lol
Best 20 minutes of comedy ever. Brilliant. Should be on the DVD as alternative commentary.