Animals Pick The Super Bowl Winner | Elon Musk Vs. The Weather | Google’s Killer AI
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ก.พ. 2025
- Stephen consults psychic zoo animals to learn whether the Chiefs or Eagles will win on Super Bowl Sunday, DOGE is gutting the National Weather Service, and Google reneged on a pledge not to use AI to create weapons.
#Colbert #Comedy #Monologue #SuperBowl #SuperBowlLIX #KansasCityChiefs #PhiladelphiaEagles #Chiefs #Eagles #TravisKelce #TaylorSwift #Animals #DonaldTrump #ElonMusk #DOGE #NFL #AI #ArtificialIntelligence #Weapons #StephenColbert #TheLateShow
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Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015.
Hello from Canada! Usually I like to leave a nice comment about loving you guys but lately things are heated so I'll just say: I don't wish you any specific harm.
Lol thanks! We still love you guys and we're fighting like hell to get the fascist felon out of power.
Well I'm from Canada. F&%! This nonsense!
We wish you well also. Not all of us voted for this idiot. We are praying everyday we wake up from this nightmare
Cuz one guy was mean to you?
😂
"I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure." Mark Twain
"I highly approve." Mark Twain
That guy was pure chaos in a fun way he was quoted also as saying this.
“I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town immediately.”
True dis! 💥⚰️
@@flackstar007 LOL!
You and me both , Honey. You and me both.
Hello from Norway. I never tought i would live in a time where i was affraid of Russia in the east. AND America in the west. 😢
America going full authoritarian with a mad king in the White House effects the world. Even here down under. The worst thing is that it gives the crazies everywhere ideas.
Me too!😔
😢😢😢
“Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am! - stuck in the middle of you,.. 🎶
// Sweden feels the same 🇸🇪
Hej granne!! 👋
Europe caught between the US and Russia would allow China to take everything. 😮
Hi from Canada! Great show Stephen, comme d’habitude! Canadians are standing strong to save your democracy and our sovereignty!
So great! Thank you. We really need your help.
Merci beaucoup ❤🎉🫠
Thank you! I've lived in New Hampshire for many decades, and love my neighbors that live across our northern border. ❤
Howdy neighbor to the north. Please know that half the country (hopefully more) do not like Trump, do not respect him & have a completely different vision for our country than he does.
Hang in there.
Oh yeah 👍 really strong. Keep showing that clip of our politician saying, "cut it out, guys!" That should do it! 😭
“Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am! - Stuck in the middle of U(SA and Russia),.. 🎶
Love ya! 👋
// Europe, Sweden 🇸🇪
Great song from Stealers Wheel. Nicely pointed out, cheers. Greetings from Spain.
🤣🤣🤣The lyrics are certainly appropriate! At least you are not stuck here in the US.
Don't forget China
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Your writers are phenomenal, likewise is Your performance 🎉🎉🎉
Be a darn shame if a class 6 hurricane hit Mar a Lardo without warning due to cancelling NOAA and weather predictions.
And then blame it on DEI.
Yes would be a real shame
Do as the French did, and cover it in actual shit.
@danburnes722 crazy idea... why don't you see how things are AFTER he makes whatever cuts he makes and THEN complain... and in 3 years when nothing happens, and your life is better, go back to voting blue no matter who.
We can only hope . . . errr that it doesn't happen.
BLACK HISTORY MONTH, Stephen! Don't let them keep you from celebrating !!
🖤❤💛💚
They will try....😮
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Red Blk and green are the colors for PanAfrican. No yellow, its a sign of disrespect as well as displaying the colors out of order.
Psychic animals, definitely TRump's foreign policy, is driving by them! 🐍🐕🦺🐐🐇
@@TurtleIsland-l4b You mean American history?! Thanks - let’s celebrate Americans! Not just one particular race!
Laughing (thanks to your team) is my only medicine these days. Thank you from bottom of my heart
Albert Cumas, Life is Absurd. Fight Absurd with Absurd (jokes)
Canada...turn off the power on Super Bowl Sunday... tariffs my arse.
Just a short 4 hour blackout for "upgrades".
I think that's why Trump delayed the tariffs by 30 days!
Time for "scheduled maintenance."
DO IT
You guys are paying for it, once the payments stop sure. However, you guys are also funding our universities, and ones for Israel. like 500,000,000 just to Tel Aviv uni. Thanks for your taxes. However, you guys should pay for your own people, not others.
Hello from Australia. Stay strong to the good people in America. Be careful as he is really pissing off the rest of the world.
Whoever attacks us because of the orange felon,I'll be on their side
Well that needs to go to everyone except the 92% and 86% because we're done!!
It's hard to believe that NO ONE has had all those criminals arrested! I'm embarrassed to be an American right now.
Right? Better postpone that Mediterranean cruise lol
Boo for Trump at the Super Bowl.
You know he will be booed😂
I read "Boo the Super Bowl" but i do agree with that as well lol
And after
@@Myonlytribalchief i really dont think he will be :(
Reasons I think he's going:
1. He wants cameras on him thinking he'd be as popular as Taylor Swift. At best, I wouldn't be surprised if they panned to him during the National Anthem.
2. He'd want to be shown celebrating with the winning team in the locker room.
3. Get said winning team to the White House for photo op.
This monologue had me laughing so loudly that my nearby elderly dog woke from her postprandial stupor
and gave me the side-eye over her left shoulder as if to say "what the heck is wrong with you?!" Thanks for helping us survive these dark times!
Postprandial
What a fantastic word
I love savage Stephen.
We need savage Stephen!
Great writers! Grrreat delivery!
Hope Canada switches the power to the US off right in the middle of Super Bowl - that would be hysterical!
That is ridiculous. Don't be absurd.
As a Canadian, I disagree. However it might be entertaining to shut the power off at halftime. Everyone baffled they can't see or hear the show or some of the more disliked people in the administration.
Could be a bonus for people.🤭🤷
It would be hilarious,, Bahahahahaha.
If america is reliant on Canada for power... that's more a sign america needs to look after themselves first
@@danielshields34 I'm all for that - lets build a big trading wall around the US - nobody deal with the US, no US (or Israeli) citizens allowed to enter any other country. The US is self-sufficient after all, they won't starve.
We need a new Sheriff in town to help run these guys out of DOGE.
Trump is the New Sheriff in town….
Too late
@@patrickkoen5470
“Reading maketh a full man.”
- Francis Bacon
And we know how Donald loves a good read.
@@patrickkoen5470 Still supporting your rapist fraud president?
Well done! Where is Marshall Dillion when you need him?
It is unbelievable that signs concerning kindness and respect are being confiscated or painted over!
Colbert is a gem, he makes us laugh over things that aren’t funny. But we need to laugh! Live in Canada and feel for you, but us, as well!
Canada girl here too, and that photo made me literally cry . 😢
@@Moms1958 like Stephen said correctly, they're Teenage Mutant Incéls
The whole world is in trouble now.
Because they love cruelty.
D - Deport E - Elon I - Immediately
Don, Eric and Ivanka
Who knew? _Another_ DEI that I support,.. ☝️
👍
super clever fo sho!
And who is stupid enough to take them?
He is there legally... 🤦♂️🤷♂️
Week three , feels like 30 years….
@Master.of.weirdness
Odd. To me it feels like January 30th, 1933. That was the day Authoritarian rule in Germany began & Hitler started to eliminate democratic freedoms.
Feels EXACTLY like it to be quite honest.
"Hitler systematically disabled and then dismantled his country’s democratic structures and processes in less than two months’ time-specifically, one month, three weeks, two days, eight hours, and 40 minutes"
- The Atlantic
@@jonproctor3739checks notes…
After suspending the Communists and using the SA to intimidate members of the other parties, Hitler had the two-thirds majority support in the parliament he needed to suspend the country's Constitution.
This meant Hitler now had the power to issue new laws without consulting Parliament.
I think it’s clear who’s playbook Trump is trying to copy
@@jonproctor3739you’re a victim huh?
Hitler this, Hitler that.
Let’s hope the crowd boos Trump and cheers Taylor Swift
One of his bum kissers would just tell him, “they’re not yelling boooo, they’re yelling Booo-urns!”
Trump is going to be there?.?.? 🙄
@@HH-gv8mxso he says
Then he’ll have Taylor arrested.
He is loved in LA
Hi from Germany! News from the US is just as depressing as news from European countries like mine. Let's not give up on humanism, education and humour!
Thanks for pointing out the obvious. It really sucks here, wondering what fresh hell he's gonna try daily!
Thanks for dumping tesla cars
Germany lol when I think of Germany, I think of sitting down to pee in this country, we say whatever the hell we want and no one stops us. I’ll bet it’s not quite the same for you.😂
@ you have watched too many Hollywood movies.
A soft pillow can't fight a cannon ball. The sensitive approach needs to take a break to fight this looming tyranny.
Chump is still angry people made fun of his hurricane marker alterations.
Precisely.
Good
😂 enjoying the use of Chump.
I was thinking Plump or Flump or Nump but chump is good 👍
They don't want people knowing about all of the weather catastrophes that are associated with climate change.
It's disheartening to see U.S.A., slowly disintegrating into fascism from a democracy.
Quickly disintegrating!
That may present a little bit of hope. You probably don't pay any attention to the people working on the sewer line near you but you totally notice a building detonation.
I also am disheartened. I’m an American citizen and was always proud to be an American, but now I am so sad that other countries are afraid of us.
The markets are going to crash; just wait and see. Trump and Elon are going to force a win to China.
You have to admit that using democracy to vote for fascism is a tad ironic. The last time that happened was when Germany elected Hitler.
DEI - Don Jr, Eric, Ivanka 😂
Holy shit! How is that so perfect!
Isn't THAT a creaking coincidence??? 😮
Damn! That's pretty good! May we?
He hates E the most!!!
I thought it stood for Donald's Enormous Incompetence.
Thank you for making the news.....tolerable to hear. You know how to make us laugh when we want to cry.
The FAA was investigating SpaceX for shortcutting a safety procedure. Yes, Elon is the man for upgrading air safety.
And 22-yr veteran Inspector General Phyllis Fong, USDA, was investigating his Neuralink as she was "escorted" from her own office 2 weeks ago.
The Musky Bois now have US Dept of Ag's data.
Coincidence?
And USAID was investigating his Starlink with Ukraine.
😱
@@generalputnam2990 No, he wants everyone on neuralink. Antivax crowd nowhere to be found.
Hello from Banda Aceh, Indonesia 🇮🇩 Right time to watch Stephen Colbert, as always
Hello to you in Indonesia!!!
Greetings from The Netherlands!
Greetings from Pakistan 🇵🇰
@@mrsr003 Hi there!
@@ArnoutCW Hi!
Day after day (and my god they've only been here for 2 weeks) it feels like America is driving without seat belts, without brakes, without a roof, without seats, going downhill towards a cliff-edge bend, all with a bottle of bourbon in hand and the radio blasting "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen. We truly don’t know if we should pray for you or start organizing your funeral 🤷🏻♀️
funeral lol
Do both just in case
Seatbelts? Brakes? I think those fall under regulations. Your government under Elon has decided regulation shouldn't exist. Maybe try to organize against it, hit the streets with a sign, thousands of ppl already are. Good luck
You should pray for the world, though I suppose there were plenty who did so in 1933 and it didn't work. This is not just the USA in danger. This is a new Axis of China, Russia and the USA that is not yet formed, but could be. Right now, the leader of each of the three countries has his own goals, and they don't coincide with those of the other two.
cages would be good
I'm 69 & am amazed to see how We have backslid 50 years since 2016.
America's 50 years of a race to the bottom continues sadly
@@debbievoss3496 How so Debbie? Examples please.
@@Dakota2046-m9o It's not Debbie's job to educate the great unwashed, MAGAt.
maybe back before the Magna Carta.
Nothing like a monologue from Steven Colbert after a hards day work! 😂
so its a trauma response?
COLDBUTT IS A LAME BRAIN BIDEN BUTT LICKER WITH HAMAS HYPOCRISY.
Best in the morning
🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
Best monologue in a while. Well done.
I dunnooooo…. I've appreciated ALL OF THEM. My sanity before I close my eyes.
❤️
H5N1 fatality rate is 54% now?? It’s been around 60% since 2003. It’s not the same as COVID. This info was delivered alarmingly IMO without context. Also on my checking just now NIH says COVID mortality was around 2%?? I don’t know anyone who didn’t get it (SF Bay Area). 2% is 7mm ppl in the USA. This new admin is deleting data, but what if there *is* a legit problem with the data? What the heck is going on??
Stephen Colbert, you are literally one of the very few things that makes me smile these days! You got us through his first administration, I know it’s only been a few weeks, but keep up the good work, getting us through this one!❤❤
@@jodigreenwald8868 And Stephen Colbert could care less about how much a dozen eggs costs. He also looked right at the camera and said “Make the cost of a gallon of gas be $13 or $15 a gallon because I drive a Tesla!” (Isn’t it also ironic that he drives a Tesla but hates Elon Musk?! Seems just a tad hypocritical to me). It’s that kind of elitism that cost the liberal, woke democrats this election. But I’m glad he makes you laugh. If you live in the US you are 1 of about a million viewers in this country that watch that guy.
Well said Jodi! I'm just recovering from two weeks of depression.
@ Come on Mark. We’re gonna get through this! Let’s make America great again!❤️🇺🇸❤️
I took the American flag down in my front yard and it’s not going back up.hump is not my president.
18 days. Good Lord
Hearing that RFK Jr only drinks raw milk is the best thing I've heard this week
The worm in his brain didn't like pasteurized milk
Here's hoping 🙏
It can't hurt you.
K Tony
Go drink a bunch right now then.
@@tonygrowley5275 why don't you go suck it right out of the teet then 😂 I'm sure it's clean
Boy do we need you. You are a light in the very dark time.
😂🤣🫏🤡
Having trump for president is like having diarrhea nonstop. It’s exhausting, and there’s shit everywhere. ☹☹☹☹☹
Cholera
Which is a really good description of being anywhere near the gaseous Tangerine Toddler!
Get off the internet / tv
That's quotable.
Oh shoot… I thought you were just describing the orange diaper orangutan.
*_KARMA, PLEASE WORK YOUR MAGIC ON RFK JR!!!_*
It gave him a brain worm. RFK Jr killed the worm.
@@nancyjay790 That guy looks like the most unhealthy person to serve Health and Human Services. If he was the first person I met, I'd try to go somewhere else. He's scary.
Wouldn’t his Father and Uncle be so proud of him!!
@@nancyjay790 ...or DID he? What if the worm is just wearing his skin now? 😵💫
Crowley: “What did he say that’s got everyone so upset?”
Aziraphale: “… ‘Be kind’…”
Crowley: “Oh! That’ll do it…”
LOVE Good Omens. ❤
Elon needs to upgrade his rockets to "not explode" before messing around with the aviation industry.
😂😂😂😂
Too late! However, we now get to blame any airplane crashes on the MAGA Musk. Let HIM pay for the funerals and hospital stays!
He should be onboard to drive it!
It's telling that he hated the safety restrictions put upon SpaceX, but now of course he's getting his revenge. It won't bother him that people will die in the process.
Genuinely terrifying being in the flight path for the DFW airport right now
Elect a Clown 🤡 Expect a Circus 🎪
Brilliant 😂
🌟WH🤓🅰️‼️👍
Well said 😂
To be fair, it has always been a circus. This time we just elected Zippo the Clown to burn the tent down. Luckily, he sent some staff to spray water miles up north...
It's indeed like a circus every day now.
Stephen having that extra pep in his step brightens the whole world 😎
He knows his future is bright for at least 4 years out.
😂🤣🫏🤡
OMG. This is one of the best monologues I've heard so far! Well done 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Trump is so much further gone than Reagan ever was.
Would give anything to have a senile old Reagan now as opposed to this…
Trump is so much further gone than the Joker ever was
At this point I'd take Charles Manson over Trump.
Trump makes Nixon look like a Saint
Dementia Don, he is so much on the dementia spectrum
The most infuriating thing about Trump's actions, is they are being done in the name of our country, eventhough many of us are categorically against them.
So you are against Trump and Elon exposing the theft of Billions of Tax payers money?
Your idea of America is made up. You lost lol
It worked for Hitler...
New World Order!!
The Nazis don't think it's your country. It's their plaything, and you will either fall into line or leave before they decide you're the enemy within.
A majority of us are! Only 30% of voters voted for him. And most of them regret it now
The idea that a man who thinks all regulation should be "default off" is going to meddle with aviation is genuinely terrifying. Pilots say every procedure has been written with blood.
That just shows that Musk is no genius. No one dreamed up any regulation from thin air. I'd bet most are the result of sad experience, which we'll all have to relive. Musk is an idiot, but a rich one.
Late night comedians like Stephen are saving our mental sanity one show at a time. 💚
We may survive this imbecil but what to do with the other 50%+ idiots?
He's no comedian.
4yrs of his idiocracy will be brutal
calling him an idiot minimizes the actual effective strategy and thought going into these actions. Chalking it all up to stupidity is what got us here
We're taking back the House and Senate in 2026!
@@scombproductionsYou do know that Idiocrazy is an actual term, just like Kleptocracy?
I do however agree with your assertion.
I don't think he'll last that long. Something's bound to happen.
@@beebuzz959 Yep. Possibly The Messiah (Brian) might return and confirm that The Golden One is to be the Anointed Ruler for all eternity! 😱🙄
Someone needs to have a class action lawsuit against those kids! 500million per SSN!
We could buy Clarence Island, Antarctica with the proceeds and build a nice prison there for Trump and 1600 of his closest co-conspirators to live out their days declaiming their importance to the penguins.
@@teacherguy5084 Monty Python would approve.
@@teacherguy5084i approve this message 👏 👌
If you voted for Trump, this is your fault.
You think that Trump voters saw THAT coming?
@@veronicasaalfrank4494there's plenty that he's doing that dump did campaign on that they are going to regret.
They are animals
...I don't think any Trump supporters watch Colbert
@@yeomanadventures1549
Former Trump supporter here.
My daughter called last night from college scared as hell. She sees her future as bleak and uncertain. I told her everything will be okay. I sure hope so.🤞
I fear for my children's future too, but this time, I don't know if we are going to be ok
Pretty sure the part of that mural Trump was most offended by was the word "integrity."
So, you're assuming he knows that word?
Or that he can read
The painting over of Fairness and Integrity, until yesterday it was just figurative.
The guy who'd been ordered to paint over it will probably receive his dismissal letter on Monday.
You can't have Integrity, Honesty, Respect, Compassion, and Cooperativeness if there's also a Trump administration.
A man who hates any kindness is seriously messed up D.T.
It’s called Having Balls. The Men that Created America, & Protected it in 1812-1815, the Civil War, WWI, WWII, & Korea cared about Balls. Not Kindness.
@@CPezpeople can be brave AND kind. You are delusional
❤ from Canada .Keep your democracy.
Thanks for your support. Nice to know Sanity is nearby.
We are trying but the monsters have supernatural powers
Hockey is better than the NFL
keep on the good work, Stephen Colbert, thank you.
So confusing
Hitler trump and Musk
You can barely tell them apartheid
You lost sheeple
Wonder how long it will take for "Donald" and "Elon" will be added to the list of banned names.
@@patrickkoen5470
Watch more Hannity.
Trump selected him as top-level presidential house painter.
Both are dark tetrads - malignant narcissists, psychopaths, Machiavellian/pathological liars, and sadists. The felon’s frontal lobe is fried by frontotemporal dementia, and the S. African US immigration fraudster’s by ketamine.
@@patrickkoen5470the USA lost, you too. Nobody likes you nor the CRAZY people you put in power. You just destroyed your own country and the last remaining shred of respect we (other countries) have for you. I'm sincerely sorry for the Americans who are not just dumb red-hat-bearing 0IQ angry republican Karens.
You're a mean one, Mr. Musk,
You really are a heel!
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel, Mr Musk.
And he still managed to reproduce 12 times...
@@hometoroostchickens Because it bribed every woman it ever slept with.
@@hometoroostchickensmaybe he used ivf
@@hometoroostchickens I hear he's a talented 'bartender'...
That's mean to eels 😢
This monoloque was very funny, ignoring the scary, chilling, sad news of course.
The Elon musk air safety joke is hilarious 🤣
Make your feelings towards D.T. well known at the Superbowl, the loudest & biggest BOO ever heard and seen on live T.V.
Protest it! Don't turn on your TV! They will notice!!!
The only way to tolerate the daily news
Just turn it off.
@@MrPhotodocThat's not easy to do if you live it.
I love how they can make more sense of the news in the news can
Myers' closer look is an equal option.
I so agree
The players should ALL take a knee during the National Anthem in this one. Would also love to see the crowd boo when they show Donald in his cozy box. It would be a great statement!!
I'm not looking forward to the upcoming hurricane season. I'm sure they'll tell us to pick ourselves up by our bootstraps or something.
DeSantis will have his Pearly whites cheerleader Boots I mean that's something
They'll just suggest you spend the hurricane season in...Montana?
Well, at least you'll have FEMA. Oh, wait ...
Maybe someone will show up to throw paper towels at us..
And by then they'll have screwed the pooch big time with FEMA
When it comes to Take-offs and Landings, Space-X has a 50% success rate!
Stephens on 🔥 tonight. Tell us how you really feel, Stephen. Lmao 🙃
God bless you, Stephen. These four years will be difficult for us to get through. I hope you will continually be
blessed by the Lord, and keep your fantastic ability to make us smile at your great jokes, in the midst of the Fascist actions of Ttump against our Democracy.
🎉🎉🎉
"Teenage Mutant In-Cells" ... LOL...Now that is hilarious. I don't care who you are. lol too funny.
incels
That was my first big laugh off this monologue! I needed that!
With all the bad decisions being made, we are watching to see which falls first, Donnie's administration or the country...
2026🇺🇸📺🍿😗🎶
The country fell a long time ago , it's on life support unless you are very wealthy.
Sad to say, but I believe it will be the country! Release the Epstein files
The country... You lost. This question has been clearly answered.
Let's get off the couch and stop them!
If the thought that Cripto Bros are rifling through the Government's files makes you release a short, spontaneous scream... It's ok... that simply means you understand the situation we're in.
Yes exposing the money laundering that has been going on…????
The scream should, however, now be released in a basement, away from an airport and in a secured residence...cause the weather forecast will be out, the airspace will be unsafe and who knows where the FBI will be?
Perhaps this should be a staggered series of screams over the near future?
I call that my primal scream!
But enough ppl with power wont care for long enough, or fight back past the point where it stops effecting them. 🙁
This is How Liberty Dies....With Thunderous Applause
Who let the dorks out?
Doof, doof, doof-doof!
I would have said it like🎶🎵 Adolf, Dolf, Dolf-dolf🎶🎶🎵🎵
Love ya Colbert😂😂😂 sad for our democracy....but need a little laugh in our life
The shit 💩 keeps getting deeper & deeper every day.
And this is just the beginning.
You need wings to keep above it. --Apocalypse Now
Oh that lovely music after the monologue was perfect. I hope we get some more of that! It keeps me from wanting to scream and cry about all the stuff mentioned in the monologue… 😢
Can no-one rid us of this meddlesome beast?
Meddling in the money laundering scheme? That is your problem?
King Henry II :)
@@Barnhartvale He'll need help from Dr. Who
I double dog dare anyone to come up with 1 single good thing drumpf’s done since he got back in office. Just one. One simple, little tiny thing that improved anyone’s life.
I noticed you have...nothing. Just like trump.
He didn't do anything good his first time in office, why would he do anything good now?!!!
He ended the war in Ukraine… oh, wait. 🤔
He brought back the “coke button.” In the White House. This is probably by far the best thing he has ever used his presidential power for. He could bring us universal healthcare, universal childcare, affordable college tuition, better wages for public employees, full paid parental leave for everyone, better treatment in the workplace for employees, and in schools for students. He could help the country convert to more clean, renewable energy sources, he could improve access to good nutrition, and healthier food. He could create better senior care, he could help build up and rebuild our nations infrastructure. He could encourage and help fund arts, music and science. He could codify human rights. There are so many good things that he could be doing, that would revolutionize the country, that would make him an extremely beloved leader for years and years to come. If he did these things he would be bigger than Lincoln. And he doesn’t even have to do any of this stuff, he just has to hire actual competent people to do all of it, and then he could even take all the credit, and he would still be a hero, and not just any hero but the biggest hero in the history of the world! Just universal Healthcare alone would make him one of the biggest heroes in the world (so long as it is legitimately good healthcare, it needs to be good enough that his billionaire children would be happy with it for their own healthcare. Hell, just give us all the same healthcare that congress has, they have already worked out the bugs to make sure they have the best healthcare in the country, so just give us the same healthcare that they have given themselves (with our tax money…that we did all of the work to earn, because we, the workers, are the ones doing all of the work in this country!). Do you have any idea how many lives would be saved every damn day if everyone in the United States had the same healthcare plan as congress?! Millions! Giving the whole country the same healthcare plan they give themselves with our money, would easily make anyone the biggest hero in the History of the country. Donney has the power, the influence and the followers to make it happen too. And it will bring him the glory he craves. Too bad he is set on destruction mode instead. Everyone pray that he will have an Ebenezer Scrooge style change of heart, and will wake up one day a generous, rich old guy who doesn’t want Tiny Tim to die, and wants Bob Cratchit to not live in poverty despite having a full-time job. Pray that he will realize all he has to do to get the adoration he craves is to give us the things we need. Healthcare, human rights, good paying jobs, good schools, affordable college, clean sustainable energy (we still need oil too people, but it is not renewable, and it is toxic when you burn it, so we need to use it more wisely).
He managed to pull a whole 6 men out of womens sports I think.
That's the end of the list.
DOGEBAGS
DOGE is not even a legit agency...it's not approved by Congress...so a President can just make govt agencies now on the fly without congress?
*chef's kiss* perfect.
@@DeanLeonard1 Even better if we pronounce DOGE as "Dog-E".
Glad to hear RFK drinks raw milk and plays with birds.
Stephen, you are absolutely necessary in this nightmare we are living in in broad daylight!
I'm happy to see, that there actually still is hope for a better, more intelligent USA.
But things look really, really dark at the moment.
We love your show stephen colbert
Canada loves Stephen colbert!
Stephen, we need your jokes more than ever.
what a total mess USA! Thanks Stephen for making us laugh while the ship goes down....
Thank you, citizen Colbert.
Seriously though, Amtrak (delays withstanding) is pretty great.
No middle seats even in coach, there’s a viewing and a dining car alongside that bar car.
I would normally keep these secrets to myself… but it’s better for the environment too, dang it.
Thanks for sharing. I'll look into it.
I second this. Even the coach seats are pretty comfortable. VERY spacious compared to a coach seat on an airline.
@bugrescue1 . Sounds good! I'll have to try it sometime.
The problem is that it was the Greedy, not the Needy, who took over.
Slavery is not over; It has been re-evaluated.
The dark days have come --- they began on Jan 20. The tragedy of humanity in the 21st century
DEI hires? let's start with a south african nepo baby.
He is richer than you are or will ever be!!
@@patrickkoen5470How does that boot taste?
@@BlueManIan how does Biden’s @ss taste
@ money can't buy competence, or class.
@ competence they are Billionaires because they build companies!! They don’t work in factories Kenny!!!
"Please, please... no one tell the bees!".😂
I'm done with the NFL. They got rid of the end Racism on the stencils and the convicted felon is showing up, not watching don't watch.
I've been watching the NFL before there were super bowls. Not anymore.
Boycott!
I’ve never watched football. But if I did, I definitely wouldn’t watch the superbowl this year, ugh…
The Puppy Bowl can be fun...
And you have to pay extra to even get it on TV now-screw ‘em
*H5N1* once it enters *RFK’s* body: _Oh hell nah, this place is already packed! Where in the hell am I supposed to move now?_
I never thought I would see a time when both the East and the West felt equally unsettling Russia on one side, and America on the other.
Boycott Super Bowl. They caved to trumps racist demands on league. I can’t even believe we’re not talking about this. 🙄🙄
Why do you people watch the stupid game? Athletes are overpaid druggies. Pay teachers more
🔥🔥🔥we live in a fire
Inside a dumpster.
and we didn't start it...just ask B. Joel..
@@Kristy78-GenXer 😀
According to an English journalist:.." Trump turns being thoughtless into an art form; he is the Picasso of pettiness; the Shakespeare of nonsense; gibberish. His flaws are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on indefinitely. God only knows that there have always been stupid people in the world, and there have always been a lot of nasty people. But it is rare for stupidity to be so nasty and nasty so stupid."
Interesting & very accurate analysis of Trump's character & personality.
Bird and cattle joke the best ever - may JFK drink gallons of raw milk
R FK, Jr
Yes. He says it's so safe so - cheers - rfk jr lunatic.
Trump and Elon are the real life Super Villain Team-up.
You're too kind.
No the guys exposing the dirt
@@patrickkoen5470
“You think I’m bad for America?” - Sean Hannity
@@patrickkoen5470They ARE the dirt
@@g0679 Is that a trick question?
That was an incredible monologue 👏
Hi, Stephen. I am a Canadian fan of yours. Here is a good joke to add into your monologue: The only difference between Musk and Trump is an ''F''. Yes because the first is Elon and the other is a Felon.
Secret Service are technically Federal Employees...just saying...😮
Stephen is the best! 💯💯👊🏽🇵🇦
As a Canadian watching the USA...and you guys were pissed at Snowden....wait till Elon posts all your personal info on X...just saying
He’s more likely to monetise it somehow. Sell it or use it for profit.
They creating a backdoor to siphon money at will.
@@meganm1074 Sell it to China and Russia, including everything else he steals in all these agencies. US have never been weaker.
@@meganm1074 blackmail
Elon should release the Epstein files.
0:22 Who else is boycotting the distraction AKA the superbowl
Here!
Could not care less. I can watch the commercials on- line
Not me. I don’t allow political stupidity to influence me.
have for years. what a joke.
What a boring life sigh