my husband in active addiction throws one pitty party after the other. Right now he's in a victim rage because I kicked him out of the house and he has to stay in a 'roach infested airbnb". Of course, I am the enemy, not the addiction.... I'm so tired of this!
When the addicted person feels judged, criticized, resentful, etc., they have created that situation to justify their behavior. They will create this scenario everywhere they go. They are the common denominator. Do not take it on, do not participate. Back away and let the natural consequences occur without being another cog in the bad guy wheel. The addicted person will experience an unmanageable life very well without you until they run completely amuck and you will unscathed and better able to respond on the constructive side
My AH is trying to get sober, demands my love and support but I am just so drained and tired from getting lied to and getting hurt (he can become really nasty picking a fight over the littlest thing) I just feel I need distance and just focus on taking care of myself. I want him to succeed but I need to help myself now, he doesn’t get that and blames me for his failure.
I had to do that. I left the relationship and have been focusing on my healing and growth and I don't regret it. Do what you have to do for yourself and your emotional health.
Amber. I’ve been watching you since March of this year after being contacted by a guy I used to dare to see if o would help him (he’d alienated everyone by this point). Following your advice, I guided him to detox around Easter (he refused rehab). Lasted a week and back st it. I carried on following your advice. Cardiac arrest from alcohol toxicity end of May. 10 days ICU. Refused rehab. Could do it himself. Within a month it was back where it was. Didn’t slide into it - suddenly dive back into it and this time I was able to suggest and get him to say he wanted rehab. I said nothing - just provided information. Six weeks in. He was very pleased -, had a theist once a week. Was going to do AA everyday. We went to France after a month to mark his success. Didn’t drink in France but started back two weeks after we returned. Two weeks after starting back - totaled car, dog killed wreck, driving without license from prior DUI. Involuntary commitment- detox - and oration rehab again - rehab at his request. So - he’s 54. Angry 15 year old son (understandable) All relationships in compete disarray. Financially silently so no motive to work or consider financial consequence. But the difference this time is that he seems - broken? No fight or will. Very compliant? Looks almost too compliant? My question - I’ve never judged him or criticized. I listen. I make suggestions but never threatened. His therapist tells me I’m the only person he trusts. Is there something I can do they I’m not doing? Something I’m Doing that I shouldn’t? I want him well and happy. If possible.
Thank you so much for sharing this content - currently I have a husband and son in treatment at the same time and it’s kind of blowing my mind… I’m going to KEEP listening! 😊
My longterm partner always said he had enjoyed a great life with good friends when he was young, so I do not believe he became addicted as a reaction to low-self-esteem. Rather, after years of drug taking, he eventually came to acknowledge himself as an addict and gradually came to acknowledge addiction had diminished his potential to lead a satisfying lifestyle.
So my 45 yr old daughter is in a recovery center again, this is 3rd time in 6 months. She feels like the family is mad at her. Which they all are not. Just her sister and her 20 yr old daughter. They don't really want to be around her anytime soon. We have dealt with 30 years of the roller coaster ride with her. My grand daughter has seen her mom at her worst and best. She has been through so many relapses she is just done with it. Now my daughter is demanding to be included in all holiday activities with the family. She is threatening that if she is not included there will be a, " huge relapse." How do I handle this. My stress level and anxiety level is a 10 out of 10. Thank you so much for these video's!
This is totally on the money, Amber! It is both low self-worth AND self-absorbed behaviors! Son was 30 days sober after relapse. He wasn't quite ready for getting a job but close. Living at home after relapse because staying at his apartment alone was toxic! He was getting bored & and wasn't doing anything to help himself.He agreed to take naltrexone but just taking it was not enough. He just turned 40 today & he is a smart, kind person & has a 14 yr old daughter who he knows desperately needs her in his life.... I hope he will give sobriety another shot. He is a binge drinker & was told by a doctor he would not live a long life if he kept drinking. He said that was going to help him stay sober... it didn't, but maybe it will going forward.
I have followed your advice and stayed in my own lane and I have started focusing on myself. Re-established some hobbies, connected with friends, etc. We do not live together anymore so as a result, he has completely withdrawn from me. I have not heard from him in weeks. Is this normal?
I saw you on Hidden True Crime last night! I'm not stalking you - it was a concidence. Do you have any thoughts about Sarah Boone? I thought that both of them were almost charactures of people with advanced alcholism.
Hi Sensiblecrime 👋🏻 Yes! I love @HiddenTrueCrime. I can't wait to hear what Dr. John has to say about the psychologist testimony yesterday! Re: Sarah Boone. I agree 💯. They were both advanced Alcoholics. I also suspect she has some type of personality disorder.
my husband in active addiction throws one pitty party after the other. Right now he's in a victim rage because I kicked him out of the house and he has to stay in a 'roach infested airbnb". Of course, I am the enemy, not the addiction.... I'm so tired of this!
When the addicted person feels judged, criticized, resentful, etc., they have created that situation to justify their behavior. They will create this scenario everywhere they go. They are the common denominator. Do not take it on, do not participate. Back away and let the natural consequences occur without being another cog in the bad guy wheel. The addicted person will experience an unmanageable life very well without you until they run completely amuck and you will unscathed and better able to respond on the constructive side
Self esteem is so important, everyone needs a positive sense of self. Thank you for sharing Amber. ❤
My AH is trying to get sober, demands my love and support but I am just so drained and tired from getting lied to and getting hurt (he can become really nasty picking a fight over the littlest thing) I just feel I need distance and just focus on taking care of myself. I want him to succeed but I need to help myself now, he doesn’t get that and blames me for his failure.
I had to do that. I left the relationship and have been focusing on my healing and growth and I don't regret it. Do what you have to do for yourself and your emotional health.
Thanks
Wow! Thank you so very much, Shannon! 😀😀😀
Amber. I’ve been watching you since March of this year after being contacted by a guy I used to dare to see if o would help him (he’d alienated everyone by this point). Following your advice, I guided him to detox around Easter (he refused rehab). Lasted a week and back st it. I carried on following your advice. Cardiac arrest from alcohol toxicity end of May. 10 days ICU. Refused rehab. Could do it himself. Within a month it was back where it was. Didn’t slide into it - suddenly dive back into it and this time I was able to suggest and get him to say he wanted rehab. I said nothing - just provided information. Six weeks in. He was very pleased -, had a theist once a week. Was going to do AA everyday. We went to France after a month to mark his success. Didn’t drink in France but started back two weeks after we returned. Two weeks after starting back - totaled car, dog killed wreck, driving without license from prior DUI. Involuntary commitment- detox - and oration rehab again - rehab at his request.
So - he’s 54. Angry 15 year old son (understandable) All relationships in compete disarray. Financially silently so no motive to work or consider financial consequence. But the difference this time is that he seems - broken? No fight or will. Very compliant? Looks almost too compliant?
My question - I’ve never judged him or criticized. I listen. I make suggestions but never threatened. His therapist tells me I’m the only person he trusts. Is there something I can do they I’m not doing? Something I’m
Doing that I shouldn’t? I want him well and happy. If possible.
Thank you so much for sharing this content - currently I have a husband and son in treatment at the same time and it’s kind of blowing my mind… I’m going to KEEP listening! 😊
My longterm partner always said he had enjoyed a great life with good friends when he was young, so I do not believe he became addicted as a reaction to low-self-esteem. Rather, after years of drug taking, he eventually came to acknowledge himself as an addict and gradually came to acknowledge addiction had diminished his potential to lead a satisfying lifestyle.
So my 45 yr old daughter is in a recovery center again, this is 3rd time in 6 months. She feels like the family is mad at her. Which they all are not. Just her sister and her 20 yr old daughter. They don't really want to be around her anytime soon. We have dealt with 30 years of the roller coaster ride with her. My grand daughter has seen her mom at her worst and best. She has been through so many relapses she is just done with it. Now my daughter is demanding to be included in all holiday activities with the family. She is threatening that if she is not included there will be a, " huge relapse." How do I handle this. My stress level and anxiety level is a 10 out of 10. Thank you so much for these video's!
I carry around all this shame guilt l got all these problems l need to stop 😮 it's hard to break that habit
I’m in recovery eight years and I’ve always said that I was an egomaniac with an imperial complex.
Congrats on 5 years! That's Amazing 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻
This is totally on the money, Amber! It is both low self-worth AND self-absorbed behaviors! Son was 30 days sober after relapse. He wasn't quite ready for getting a job but close. Living at home after relapse because staying at his apartment alone was toxic! He was getting bored & and wasn't doing anything to help himself.He agreed to take naltrexone but just taking it was not enough. He just turned 40 today & he is a smart, kind person & has a 14 yr old daughter who he knows desperately needs her in his life.... I hope he will give sobriety another shot. He is a binge drinker & was told by a doctor he would not live a long life if he kept drinking. He said that was going to help him stay sober... it didn't, but maybe it will going forward.
I have followed your advice and stayed in my own lane and I have started focusing on myself. Re-established some hobbies, connected with friends, etc. We do not live together anymore so as a result, he has completely withdrawn from me. I have not heard from him in weeks. Is this normal?
Thanks very helpful !
You look so pretty. New glasses or your hair color changed? Anyhow, thank you for everything you do .
Mine had an afair when I said rehab or divorce so I divorced now hes back I have major issues about trust
I saw you on Hidden True Crime last night! I'm not stalking you - it was a concidence. Do you have any thoughts about Sarah Boone? I thought that both of them were almost charactures of people with advanced alcholism.
Hi Sensiblecrime 👋🏻 Yes! I love @HiddenTrueCrime. I can't wait to hear what Dr. John has to say about the psychologist testimony yesterday! Re: Sarah Boone. I agree 💯. They were both advanced Alcoholics. I also suspect she has some type of personality disorder.
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Happy Halloween 🎃
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Having an affair doesn't seem like rock bottom to me so why am I staying
People who continue to hurt themselves and others uis stupidity