Why You Should Stop Pretending to Be Okay - Most Powerful Life-Changing Message
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ต.ค. 2024
- Why You Should Stop Pretending to Be Okay - A Life-Changing Message
Let's dive into the story of Jaclyn de Prey, a famous cellist. She has a big secret about how holding in her feelings really affected her. Watch her amazing performances and learn about the tough times she faced to get there. Find out how not talking about our feelings can actually make us sick, and why it's so important to take care of our whole selves. Join us in discovering how Jaclyn learned to live her truest life by sharing her story.
🔎 Important Takeaways:
🧠 The Science of Emotional Suppression
🌪️ How It Affects Your Mental Health
🌱 True Emotional Healing
🎯 Effective Steps to Authenticity
The video is a must-see if you've ever felt forced to put on a brave face, suppress your emotions, or pretend as if everything is alright. The profound insights of Dr. Gabor Maté will help you to embrace your true self, leading to a better and more fulfilling life.
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💬 Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section below. We'd love to hear from you!
👍 Don't forget to share this video if you find it valuable.
👍 If you found this video helpful, don't forget to give it a thumbs up and share it with your friends and families.
🌟 Connect with Dr. Gabor Maté:
Website: drgabormate.com/
Twitter: @DrGaborMate
🔗 Helpful Links:
🔗 Find Support: National Helpline for Substance Abuse and Mental Health: www.samhsa.gov...
Helpful Resources:
Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Phone: 1-800-273-8255
National Domestic Violence Hotline:
Phone: 1-800-799-SAFE
💖 Who is Dr Gabor Mate?
Dr. Gabor Maté is a retired physician, bestselling author, and well-known speaker who is in high demand for his knowledge of addiction, trauma, stress, and childhood development. He is the author of four best-selling books.
🙏 FAIR-USE COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER
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#emotionalsuppression, #mentalhealth, #emotionalexpression, #confrontingemotions, #selfimprovement, #DrGaborMate, #EmotionalHealth, #Wellness #HolisticHealth, #yourinnerchildmatters, #trauma, #mentalhealthawareness, #HiddenStruggles, #MentalWellness, #OvercomingPTSD, #TraumaRecovery, #SeekingHelp, #EmotionalHealing, #PersonalStory,
This hits hard. My mom used to get mad at me because I was a regular hyper child. And my mom always used to say when I was young, just you wait when you get older you'll be sick. She spoke that so many times over me. And I promised myself I would never be like her.
Brain tumors and brain surgeries at 26 result in two incurable chronic pain conditions.
What parents speak over their children directly affects them. Life and death are in the tongue.
#crps #atypicaltrigeminalneuralgia
I am so sorry for that!!! I'm praying for you!!🥺🙏✌❤
Our parents...the so powerful and so woefully ignorant, would deliberately blight their child's future with their venom.
That is so cruel. I had a personality clash with my Mum too and it does no end of damage. I am stuck in that emotional trauma. Do you think it could be something like envy of your youthful joy?
In my case, I think it was seeing that some of my weaknesses were the same as hers, but she was hiding them. I also had more flaws than she had and she used to say I took after her Mother and my Father. Both were insults. She never said I took after her.
I'm touched by your comment and understand the difficulties you've went through. Your experiences have clearly shaped you in profound ways. You are completely correct regarding the power of words and their ability to influence us. Remember that your background or your health issues do not define you. You've proven outstanding courage and resilience. Thank you for sharing your experience. 💪❤️ #YouAreNotAlone #StayStrong
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Sometimes one has to pretend. Most ppl do not want to hear about your troubles...and certainly on the job, one MUST BE OK. Always know where it's safe to be yourself.
Amen
No one must be ok, it's a myth.
I agree, but one has to make a conscious decision to pretend, knowing that there will be consequences down the road...usually for the health of the person pretending
@@5hydroxyT yes, consciousness is key.
@@Аноним-щ3н on the job you must pretend to be ok, or lose job.
All of us want to be heard, but rarely is anyone TRULY listening. The clear majority of people are not actively listening, and providing validation, where possible.
Please know that you deserve to be heard ❤ It's simply that, after so many generations of denial, many people either don't have the capacity because of their own pain, or because no one has ever modeled it for them. We need to learn how to be a compassionate witness to ourselves first. Then, we can serve others without depleting ourselves ❤
Many of us are not ok right now.
Remember to check in on your friends.
That is true.
What's different about now? The pandemic has ended.
the eternal now @@robynhope219
I pretended , when I was in a mid life crisis around 45, what it would be like if I died. Came to the conclusion that people simply don't give it much thought and then I turned from prioritizing WORK to prioritizing ME and my love for travel and learning. It has almost been 10 years now and I am so happy! When I left everyone was an adult and my ex-wife had a great job and I made and read her a note compassionately and in tears. I still loved her but I needed more as time waits for no one! This action has both pros and cons. The main pros were I didn't kill myself or die from stress. The cons and pro are learning about yourself deeply and it can only be lonely if you dont like yourself. Peace777
Pretending to be okay was the story of my life! But I did an innerchild revolution and healed myself. Physically, mentally and spiritually!
It’s exhausting pretending to be okay … sounds like you have mastered it 😊😊
@janinekay yes it is. It's a kind of hell, but I learned in my ironman years, once in hell, to become friends with the devil. I did, and I survived my sucicidal thoughts, and from some odd/ironic reason , I healed myself in the most unorthodoxic way, and here we are 🤣. Thank you for your comment. I appreciate that.
Thanks for giving us hope!
You’re more than welcome .. these positive comments when you’ve been through the mill and back are a reassuring comfort .. and to know you’re not on your own . Keep talking and keep being open.. Im a listener for Samaritans have been volunteering for nine years now… when people open up with their darkest thoughts .. when they haven’t done to anybody else it’s a massive release.. it’s so sad to hear that they have to put on a front to their family and friends when they’re suffering .. but at least they call Samaritans thank goodness .
@improvemyself256 thx. Yeah, yeah, I wrote my book for exactly that, showing people that there is hope!
This video is true. I spent my life being the person needed in the moment due to a traumatic life with a particularly traumatic childhood. By the time I was 50 I knew I was going to die at 57. If I kept going on as I was. All the adaptations I created to survive my trauma, abuse and neglect were failing. All the trauma affects and inability to connect was hitting me hard. I got to the point that either I had to do something now or I was soon to die. I chose life. My life. Me. I got into trauma therapy and I'm foster parenting myself trying to overcome the toxic parenting and toxic family of my childhood. It's not easy. The stress from facing these demons has nearly killed me multiple times. I don't know if I will have a happy life at any point but what I've done to change things has been more than worth all the effort.
Wow. Everyones responses has hit home but yours, especially, as I could have written much of it, myself. Trauma throughout life, but definitely a difficult childhood filled with all the fear, uncertainty, and often outright terror of domestic violence, of a father who didn't know any better and passed down the cruelty he grew up with. At the age of 10 I witnessed his suicide, which, understandably, changed my mother, but it felt like I lost her that day, too. Her way of handling the situation was to box it up, put it in a dark closet, close the door, and move on with her life. Unfortunately, that left me in a pretty precarious position, for a variety of reasons.
Additionally, but much like someone said above, mom would often say how much I was just like my dad, and that I was too emotional. "You are just like your dad," and "you are too emotional" are phrases seared into my soul. In other words, I was bad and shouldn't have feelings. Of course she did the best she could, there is no blame, it was horrific, what happened. But where do these types of circumstances leave as adults after a lifetime of carrying such burdens, not only our own pain but that of those around us?
I am trying to choose life, as well, thought I had a great therapist, then found out he had behaved inappropriately with a friend, which now leaves me wondering what , if anything, was real. Health wise, it is much like many have written, here, issues that increasingly seem to be an outcome of a lifetime of suppressed emotions.
Thank you to everyone who responded to this video for helping me to know I am not alone, despite how lonely life feels. Its difficult to make human connections later in life, especially when the ability to do so has been so tragically compromised over the years. (decades, for some of us) Love and light to one and all. May there be hope, resolution and peace for each of us. Again...thank you. May all who read this find their own healing path.
God Bless You
I was blown away by this inspiring and thought-provoking video! Dr. Gabor Mate gives an important message on the dangers of suppressing your emotions. If you have trouble expressing your true feelings, this video was created for you! I recommend you to watch the entire video to receive great insights and recommendations on how to enhance your emotional communication and expression abilities. Let's start a discussion in the comments section below and share our thoughts and experiences on this important topic. Remember to like and subscribe to for more inspirational material like this! 🌻💕🤗💟
I added background music. I was trying to make it both relaxing and informative. 🎉🕺💃🧘♂🧘♀
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Is there a full video? What is the source for this one?
Please be kind to others mental health. Please don’t tell them to snap out of it. For they may snap and take their own life.
This!
So true...also pls don't tell ppl to forget the past.
I' ve stopped doing this years ago and it was challenging but liberating. Thanks for sharing.💜💜
Incredible. Utterly amazing. Thank you.
This video has been life changing for me. I have made many adjustments emotionally because of it. And my joy has come back. I also watched a video on Gladys McGarey's life. I'm not stuck anymore. It's a great beginning to my journey.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts! I'm really glad the video made a positive impact on you and helped bring back joy. It's awesome that you've started your journey, and exploring Gladys McGarey's life sounds inspiring.If there's anything specific you'd like to share or discuss about your experience, feel free to do so. I wish you all the best on your journey ahead💕💖
I can relate so much to this. Thank you for illustrating how important authenticity and owning ones feelings is.
Thank you very much for your kind words! I'm happy to hear that you found this video to be helpful. Authenticity and owning our feelings are necessary for personal development and connection. Your support is greatly appreciated. Stay true to yourself! ❤️
This left me in tears…as someone who survived cancer in my 30’s and only missed 10 days of work, someone with chronic autoimmune diseases and burnout, having given 30 years of my life to veterinary medicine, shouldering the burdens of shelter pets, clients’ pets and their emotional and financial needs…2 bankruptcies and countless sleepless nights because I can’t say no to others’ suffering has left *me* broken and suffering in silence with none of them knowing anything at all except what I’ve done for them and the animals they love. I don’t even know HOW to say no anymore💔
Please hold on there! You are a person of great compassion and you have great strength too. You can master that skill of saying "no". Just think that all these years you were putting the others first and now it's your turn in the queue.
@@natashamartin2019 BRAVO!!!
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We know now.
And have you ever read Jeffrey Young and Janet Klosko, Reinventing your life? Learn to use anger to set boundaries.
Awareness is the first step toward healing! And practice is how you do it. One “No.” at a time. And don’t even apologize. Our chronic and toxic “Yes”-culture needs to change! One “No” at a time. It’s called self-love and YOU ARE WORTH IT!!
Dr. Gabor, you are doing an amazing job, thank you!
Many thanks!, bless you💖🌺
Stop pretending to be okay Jake! You are, you're better than okay and it's okay to be happy and in love with yourself and life and everyone, even if they don't get it yet. It's all good dude heart ❤ please just stop pretending to be okay and know you are not just okay, you're doing great and I'm proud of you ❤️
❤️💖
If you feel hollow, don't know who you are/how to make decisions, & have low energy, HE MEANS YOU! I know. 🙏
Learn to fight!!!!!
I haven't even watched the video...
But i do Remember, when for the first time i was expiriecing something very close to dépression, my first reflex was, u shouldn't keep that for urself girl, u can't prétend to be okay, if u want to be actually okay, u need help, and there is nothing wrong with that...
I started with family, and some friends...
Their reaction was so disgusting
My mom with her : what will people say if they learn my daughter is not okay, they will be so happy, because that's what they want to see, and we won't give them this chance...
I was like, the most important thing is that i get better...
My brother who started to see everything i do, or say is invalid....
Others assuming i'm exagérating before i even talking...,
So for me, pretenting to be okay is the only way to come with people préjudices...
Cause they probably need u to be gone in a violent way to finaly believe u were really not okay 0:02
Sadly, most of people have wounded inner children in them include our parents. We all have adult body but crying baby in us. I had ignored my cry baby in me. One day, I asked to her what she wants. She told me what she wants from me. As long as we pay attention to our inner child, she would not cry. Be your inner child's mom who gives unconditional love and support. She will smile back to you.
Wow this is powerful Dr Gabor… I have believed this theory for a long time .. that pretending to be okay when you’re really struggling mentally and emotionally is bad for your health and could lead to burnouts and poor physical health in the long run.. being a volunteer with the Samaritans listening to people who have terrible mental health problems and trauma from childhood .. when they open up and say they have been bottling it up for ages, they feel so much better. I thank them for their call and tell them how strong they are opening up. I have had childhood trauma myself but for some reason I have never pretended that I’m okay and when I have struggled always always sort help .. the only time I didn’t was when I was a kid and a teenager but I didn’t know anything different then I just suffered in silence.. thank god as a adult I have learnt to express and be open and I thinks it a tonic for preserving good mental health. Thanks for all what you do. ❤
Thank you Gabor, for giving me permission to express my feelings and to be who I am. To embrace myself as a worthwhile and talented person with compassion for others; including those who have wronged me intentionally and unintentionally.
Well saidThank you so much for sharing your thoughts about this topic and for taking the time watching the video!❤️💖🙏🌺
Wow! Unbelievable!
could it be that she made a conscious choice, and decided to continue living her life this way in order to bring her beautiful gifts to the world?
Meaningful message ❤ Great work
Thank you so much 😀
So heartbreaking
💖🙏thanks for watching💖🙏
What a touching (& slightly creepy) story ❤🥹
This story is beautiful and wild.
The cellist did it all for mom. So beautiful ! Yet dysfunctional. It cost her her only true possession. Her life
How did she know she would be ill and paralyzed at an early age?? Thats just wild
Bless her soul. She coulrnt asked for help. Help she desperately needed.
If only someone could have told her to put down that damn celo and fovus on herself!
Wow
Sometimes you don’t have anyone you can trust to let out what you feel… and you can’t afford therapists/psychologists… next best thing, talk to God (out loud), or journal. Let it out somehow.
Very profound! Clear msg to take care of yourself and be authentic
I think it’s harder to be yourself as you get older. Maybe it’s because we come to recognize what is and isn’t “acceptable” behavior for whatever situation we’re in. As a kid you don’t think about that at all. Example: If say no to something I feel obligated to give a reason that would be acceptable. As opposed to saying no simply because you don’t want to.
The Stradivarius cello she played is now played by yo yo ma
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The perfect inheritance 😊
Just what I needed! Fabulous channel!
Happy to help!
my goodness me .... i was a student of jacky's mother who taught me the piano for years and jacky was a huge influence on my studying of the 'cello, precisely because of her passion and ability to communicate. i was there when she was diagnosed with MS and the total nonsensical experience that it was ... to listen to this explanation leaves me speechless ... as a family they seemed to be eccentric (hilary in particular) but one that contained a lot of love ... including her grandmother who was the sweetest of people. the combination of the wisdom and understanding from dr gabor and also the fact that my music was something that i did, largely to get recognition from my own mother, has left me needing to process this. how very sad.
What a tender, insightful observation. People love my two brothers and my mother. And they are wonderful people. But family dynamics can be entirely different from what others see. Very sad, indeed. I certainly understand your need to process, and my heart goes out to you for the significant paradigm shift this must have caused you, all that you had believed,and thought to be true about the situation for so long. What courage you have to acknowledge the new information, however painful.
The mind is powerful and dictates your future
I need help NOW. I’m still alive. And to my knowledge the Cancer hasn’t started yet. I NEED someone to STOP the people who are HURTING ME. LIKE NOW. and I don’t even know who to ask for help…. My soul is SCREAMING for people to help. To help with what is ACTUALLY WRONG.
Great advice! Thank you ❤❤
Glad it was helpful!
PLEASE stop using mid-video ads. yr videos could be so helpful but the ads destroy any possibility of being vulnerable & integrating the information
thankyou very moveing
The music in the background is really annoying!
Hey wat happen to your original post where dr Gabor mate was talking about Israel and Palestine topic
Its what people do though. When things are awful ..we have to pretend everything is okay. Ecause in many places if you cry or break down theyll lable you as mental then throw you away into some Mika place.
With all the respect, but in this video I hear the Dr. Speaking with judgemental vibration about the mother because she was not able to deal with grief, (like it was her fault) and because she affected the litle girl by that, and than I hear the same vibration when speaking about the litle girl growing up that she was suppressing emotions, like it was a mistake that she was born of a griefed mother. I think We do not understand everything, because there is a greater intelligence than our mind, orchestrating everything. Maybe her being in born in this circumstance was exactly as it if was supposed to be, it is not a coincidence that that quality of sound and emotion through her music is extraordinary, and maybe the power of her music, which is healing music, is not entertainment, helped heal many people, in ways we do not know. And I do not say that in order to create healing music, art or any other expression, one needs to suffer or to be suppressed or traumatized, but it seems to be the case with most people who expressed or created something powerful in their life, it seems somehow, that it is like sacrificing their life (unconsciously mostly, but sometimes consciously) for turning inwards and connecting with a deeper reality, in order to create that vibrational message, that message, that will never die (Bach, Jesus, etc..)
I think this is something to reflect upon, "always trying to heal everything in ourselves, becoming so self centered working towards a moderate happy, comfortable life, or to accept the circumstance that life brings, use that energy to go within, connect with something deeper, and we never know what we find there, maybe there, we find the healing for ourselves, or we discover there something that will come through us and will be delivered to the world in the form of a message or a healing vibration.
There is a supreme vibrational field, a greater intelligence than any mind can achieve, some call it God, and some surrender to It's natural Will and Movement, and that is acceptance, and acceptance is the beginning of real peace and real love.
Yeah sure because invalidating a childhood trauma survivor with your spiritual bypassing will make this world better. There is a difference between a mother and a child - a mother is supposedly an adult capable of making choices, whereas a child is completely dependent on her for survival and will do everything to preserve the attachment, even if it means self harm. Trying to justify this with "god mumbo jumbo" only severs to shame the person who experienced it more and blocks them from processing the grief and trauma of finding themselves in such a role to begin with.
The text you have over the audio is wildly inaccurate. Maybe these videos are AI generated? It's hard to fathom how a human could spend time writing up text to go with the audio and get it so wrong.
So sad. What's important? Being happy, or compensating and being a compensation tool for others? Maybe there should be awards for "who is the most connected to themselves"? I could imagine a skit where the winner goes up to the podium, receives the award, and says "Yes! I win! Take that losers!" LOL
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So how do you change? When people rely on you and you change and it turns their lives upside down. I know what I want to do and where I want to be but to do that would completely wreck many more lives than mine. I suppress because I have to. My choice to do so because I love those that my changes would harm. Very simple to say what is wrong with someone’s life but not so simple to alter.
The love we have for others is our real self too. Perhaps even more real than other parts of us. Hopefully we can do both. May god help us find a way to help ourselves together with the ones we love!
Gabbo! Gabbo! Gabbo!
Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful and honest story...❤️🙏🌿
thank you very much too
I can absolutely identify with this child 👧 ❤😢
I’ve been pretending for 75 years, because life is too short to wait for the inner child to grow up. Accomplishments are too numerous to mention. Yes, and convincing people that they are slaves to their inner child pays really well. I’ve been doing it for 44 years.
Thank you for sharing.
How do you pretend?
And yet, it is okay to be okay .... there is no shame in it ...
The recent death of Matthew Perry drives home Dr. Mate's attachment theory visa-vis addiction, mental illness. In Perry's memoir, he disclosed he was prescribed phenobarbital as a one month old infant to reduce collick. He also describes the sense of detachment he felt from his high profile mother. I think it would be very helpful to hear Dr. Mate's analysis of Perry's unfortunate early demise.
Amazing story, I didn't know this. The question that is in my head, is that she knew that she will get MS and die or she attracted MS and death to her life?. If you see the teachings of Joe Dispenza or Neville Goddard we create our own reality!!!
Thank you so much for taking the time watching the video and for sharing your insights! ✨💖🙏
She's been everybody's girl
Maybe one day she'll be her own
There is this thing called life, this opportunity this called work, and a third thing called responsibility. There isn't a lot of room for most people who don't live in privilege to be anything but okay.
And this presentation borders on victim blaming. She didn't get MS because of anything other than the bad luck of the draw.
thank you for sharing your perspective about this topic, much appreciated 💖🙏
I will always pretend to be ok. No chance ill give my Parents and Siblings any Worries.
Thank you so much for taking the time watching the video!
This is one of the best videos ive listened to by him. So, very true....i know for a fact i have a deep childhood wound in me...and it probably taints every area of my life . But, the pain is so deep ...i dont think it is suppose to go away....maybe im to carry.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and being open about your experiences. You're not alone in feeling this way, and many of us carry deep wounds from our past. It's true that some pains may never fully disappear, but they can be transformed and integrated into our lives, making us stronger and more resilient. Remember, it's okay to seek support and healing whenever you're ready. Take care of yourself on this journey. 💖🙏
@@yourinnerchildmatters Thank you
@@reneachilds8111 thank you so much too ❤💖🙏
I was at that concert in Toronto at Massey Hall, back in the 60/70's?? Miss du Pre was spectacular and I've never forgotten that evening. A tragic story, thank you for your insight Dr. Mate.
As a classically trained musician I can tell you every serious and professional classical musician has a similar relationship with their parents, and very traumatic childhoods, and yet serious illness and MS are extremely rare. He’s working hard to tell a story.
Have you ever seen footage of Jackie? She was full of life, expressive and playful and appeared to have a great relationship with Barenbaum. I don’t know who he’s describing- but certainly not her.
The body-mind connection isn’t as simple as psychology ruling the body. It is more of a feedback loop between the two with a much greater influence on the mind by the body than the other way round. It is much more complicated than the story he is spinning.
Yeah. I have never even heard of Jackie Du Pre' But rape and MS don't sound like something a person brings on through emotional suppression. Look at Michael J. Fox. He's come forward and thinks things he did and things he was exposed to (chemicals) probably contributed to to his plight, and that underlying genetic dispositions were also at play. I agree it is much more complicated than what this video is stating. And yes, I have a complicated broken medical feedback mechanism at play for over 55 years, and old age isn't making it better.
You say, "As a classically trained musician I can tell you every serious and professional classical musician has a similar relationship with their parents, and very traumatic childhoods,..." May I ask, how can you proclaim that EVERY musician... (as you say it) has this? First, you can't possibly know that. Second, it's impossible. Would you kindly explain your comment? I am assuming you knew Jackie and that as a professional yourself you have insight most of us do not. Thanks.
@@kristineanderson4983 I can very comfortably say EVERY SERIOUS classical musician because it simply isn’t natural or normal for a young child to practice 4, 6 or even 8-12 hours a day. NO child would or could do that simply “for the love of music.” That ONLY happens with IMMENSE pressure in the home and studio (the teacher). It simply isn’t possible to get to the top without this level of pressure or investment from an early age. It doesn’t happen otherwise. Period. You can’t even get or keep a good teacher without this commitment and pressure- that’s right. You don’t just hire any teacher- you have to audition and could very easily get rejected. I’ve also seen kids get “fired” by their teacher for not performing or learning at a high enough level. Musicians talk openly about how the relationship with the teacher is similar to the parent - about the pressure and desire to please. It's essentially a CPTSD relationship and I've known and work with several that have a reputation for regularly bringing their students to tears.
I don’t know what you want from me to understand. To explain how the nickname for Juilliard undergraduate program was “sin city,” when I was there, because EVERY student there came from an overbearing household- and now no longer under their parent’s thumbs they go crazy?
Do you really want me to go into ALL the ugly stories of everyone I met at Juilliard and multiple other conservatories and music festivals and gigs? How uncomfortable it was for me to sit at lunch tables when students would go around and say what their parent’s preferred tool for beating them was- when I was the only one not beaten?
Do you want to hear about the kid whose father nailed her shoes into the floor so that she would stand in exactly the correct position (and not move) for 6 hours a day when she practiced? The guys I knew in a top Juilliard studio who were best friends- where every time I had lunch with one of them it was a therapy session about the psychological abuse from his stage mother- and how much he hated her? Or his best friend whose mother would bribe him with marijuana as a reward for hitting practice targets? My other friend in Juilliard whose shoulders were so hunched over and his body so full of tension he developed injuries from playing that way- and then quickly transformed - standing straight, looking amazing when he got out of the house and was living in the dorms at Juilliard? The soloist I knew who after one of her Carnegie hall recitals had a party at her house. She pulled me aside for a conversation and literally said “us musicians are all victims” as her husband (also a musician and teacher) nodded. Followed by a long discussion about household abuse that is simply a part of being a young classical musician. BTW when she was 4 she was forced to practice 4 hours a day. When she turned 5, 5 hours a day. Every year an hour more until she was 8 and practiced 8 house a day - on fear or beating.
As far as Jackie is concerned- I didn’t know her as she was a little before my time. But I was introduced to her, as a student, by a conductor who knew her. He absolutely gushed about her as a person and musician and about her and Daniel as a couple. Since then I met many musicians that knew them either directly or peripherally and everyone had nothing but glowing things to say about them as a couple and how devoted he was to her and how devastating it was for Daniel when she passed. People would gossip if there was something there. I know a lot of ugly things about other musicians- but I've ONLY heard complimentary things about their relationship. As I mentioned there also is quite a bit of footage of Jackie and Daniel and the body language, and how they played together reveals the exact opposite of the story the guy in this silly video is concocting to try and justify his weak hypothesis about illness.
@@Gt3ch Thank you for your insight; I appreciate the information. My niece is an accomplished, professional musician-now a conductor-who began her music at the age of three and graduated from university with the highest possible honors. Her "book" of awards is prodigious, and at age 48, she was recently given a prestigious lifetime achievement award through her university, chosen for only a few people every 10 years. She is the only person I know of who went from kindergarten through grad school, never once missing a day for being sick or otherwise! (That makes my head spin.) She has never had health issues. She is not only the exception among musicians, according to what you're telling me, but the exception among creatives altogether. I am a retired writer and artist and have multiple chronic diseases. And as a former novice athlete, I now have to roll around in an electric wheelchair. My niece, who I believe may be more complicated than what we see, grew up as an only child and had very strict restrictions put on her at home. However, her relationship with her parents is stunning. (Of course, we can't know what is really happening in the depths where we are not allowed.) For me, I used to say that I grew up in paradise. With wonderful, loving, fun, community-related parents who took care of me, my brother, and my sister (I am in the middle), there was nothing I could have asked for. We were mid- to upper-middle-class, traveled the country with boat and tent, and did a lot of "fun stuff." I was artsy, unlike my brother and sister. I played the piano, violin, viola, and guitar. My viola teacher (when I was 12) put me in a college symphony. He was second chair; I was first! I even performed a solo concert. Well, that was the end of that. I got too "cool" in high school and switched to the guitar. That was 1969-1971. One has to admit, we did have great music for guitar-playing! But I found out the hard way that my paradise wasn't what it seemed. Our family didn't talk. You didn't bring up problems; you just ate them. Communications, not unlike so many stories in the comments here, were nonexistent. While I enjoyed my childhood, the reverberations bit me hard as an adult. My health struggles and ongoing, ever-increasing autoimmune diseases have been a growing frustration and pain in every sense of those words. I am untreated for RA, ME/CFS, Sjogren's, and migraine (and more) because of the lack of transportation and money for access to doctors that I need. I am 'trying' to begin a book I want to write. The title is "You're Too Pretty to Be Sick." That's what my first rheumatologist said to me just before he dismissed me. He did not order any blood tests. I did have RA.
@@kristineanderson4983 Have you done a food allergy analysis ? Autoimmune diseases can be triggered by certain foods. (People can actually become allergic to beef once they have been bitten by a tick. The immune system after the tick bite is triggered by the body's altered immune response to the amino acids that comprise beef protein.) The amino acids in beef itself can be inflammatory for some people, because certain ones closely resemble human antibodies. And those set off an immune response. I developed allergic reaction to eggs when young and any sulfa based drugs. Nothing very serious though.
I love the movie Hillary and Jackie.
I will keep clapping for others until its my turn 🎉🎉🎉🎉
Is the running text auto-generated? There are so many ridiculous errors.
I grew up in the church and everyone has a IM OK look. Expressed in large, ridiculous smiles.
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And the level of antidepressants being used in churches, particularly by women is horrifying
Thank you very much for taking the time watching the video and for sharing your insights! 💖🙏
I think caring is important but just know when it’s a priority to get involved. And minding one’s business is healthy.
Thank you so much for taking the time to watch the video and for sharing your insights about this topic! ✨💖🙏
Does he have some kind of condition that makes him unable to articulate his words? Please enlighten me about why I am annoyed from listening to this. I feel that he is saying everything, and so his message is nothing. I think that I am annoyed by the meaninglessness of his following and what this means for my own life and career -- how stupid it all is, but I dont know.
Wonderful ❤
Thank you! Cheers!
I watched the whole video and when I saw her face playing the chelo it broke me. Or it brought what’s broken in me out.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings ❤️💖
Why is the audio so shaky and difficult to hear?
Thank you..❤
I have listened to Dr. Mate's book. It is nice to see images of people he talked about. Thanks.
Thanks for listening
Emotions aren't stressful. Emotions teach you to understand the situation. And what is more important here is acknowledging how you feel. That simply alone is enough. If you want to share it with others is your own decisions. It won't impact your body when you don't. It's you who carry your body, who is your body. Your body gets sick when it also works for you and show you what's not working. So, when you experience pressure or being overwhelmed (stressed), it's a sign for you to rest and slow down. And that you do naturally. By intellectualizing everything what is naturally you just disconnect from your nature and end up, experiencing more stress. All those videos aren't serving others. They only serve those who sell a service and want attention.
That a bit harsh .Maybe you don't appreciate this man and channel for what they try to offer .
I agree … it’s a bit harsh too
I see where you're coming from but I have to disagree on some points. Many people (including myself) were taught that it isn't safe to be yourself or like certain things or express healthy emotions. I grew up in a severely abusive home where I wasn't even allowed to go to the bathroom when I needed to. I was made fun of for things that I loved and was passionate about (music, animals, books, etc). My mother was a sociopath and my father a covert narcissist. This led to me being severely disconnected with myself. For years I wouldn't even allow myself to go to the restroom until I done certain things. It wasn't a conscious decision....I was just programmed this way. I suppose you could compare it to someone who has been kidnapped, brainwashed and develops Stockholm syndrome after. It's taken me many years of therapy and working on myself to even get close to knowing when to rest and slow down. I still have problems with it. I wasn't allowed to rest and relax growing up....not ever.
I have complex PTSD. I have to sometimes explain to people that my body reacts to things many times without conscious thoughts behind it. For example, I can hear a noise (doesn't even have to be loud) and my body reacts like it was a gunshot. This happened because in my childhood there was always screaming and violence and there was no safe place to go and no safe person to go to. (And I did try to tell people).
So I have to disagree. Emotions can be very stressful if you suppress them. For a long time I couldn't even identify what my emotions were, much less express them. This is something that many people need help with and Dr. Gabor has helped me greatly in this area as he has helped many other survivors of traumatic childhoods and life experiences such as rape
@@amg726 very upsetting story .. hope you get there .
I too had an extremely traumatic childhood and teenage hood but everyone is different and it has helped me in my life especially as an adult to be open and honest with myself and not live a lie and pretend I’m ok .. I’ve had to address my childhood and acknowledge the past as that leads us to make peace with the present and future.. hope you find contentment alas .. I know what it’s like to feel pain from trauma I really do 😥x
❤ So much resonates with my life story, too. Can recognise the moments you explained. Thank you for sharing 🙏and yes there are so many like us out there... In the end i got cancer from supression my true emotions - which as you said was done automatically without my participation i was just observing how i am pleasing others before i would realise it s not howbi feel and what i wanna say at that moment, - and from not expressing my what my hearts felt... I could see my 'i am OK' smile would be rushed on my face before i d check up my inner feeling at tge moment. Being programmed as you nicely said. After surviving cancer it made me sober! Efforts to restart and choose ME, whenever i can.. It s a process and Mr Gabor talks splendidly about it and i feel his every analysis so to the point and he helps me understanding my behaviour more clearly 🙏❤️@@amg726
Listen to the song the great pretender by the band and also mark balsari covering the song in hi final years
Thank you! ❤
You're welcome 😊, thank you so much too
Kedves Doktor ur, szamomra egy dolog nagyon atjon...hogy mennyire nincs (legtobbszor, altalaban, a legfontosabb megprobaltatasokban) akire tamaszkodni ilyen szemelyisegu embereknek...megha mindent megteszunk is hogy onalloak legyunk es szeretjuk a maganyt...alapvetoen mind egyedul vagyunk...pedig nem igy kene lennie. Nem egyfolytaban.
I had to pretend to hold down a job, but now as a senior, NO pretending.
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My family would rather I die on my white horse than come down from it
Being authentic / true to ALL of one’s emotions ; thoughts and beliefs - all absorbed when born to the humans ( so profoundly damaged themselves since the beginning of time )-- is a wonder and process of Beauty ; discovery ; and immeasurable worth , in spite of what others tell us .
It reconnects us with our own unique Connection to the Circle of All Life and Our Own Soul and Heart ♥️!
I have found Nothing in this World that is more satisfying or comforting ! Add to that - for me Connecting with the natural world ; my inner - directed activities and knowings of Joy and Truth ! ❤
Bear in heart & mind -
We are Vast beyond Belief and Beautiful beyond cognitive understanding - also our connection to the vastness of life - can never be defined by anything our intellect or cognitive mind can conceive of !
Goodwill and many blessings your way!
Until at least a small part of the human race , begins practicing loving and healthy attachment parenting - with themselves - through learning , therapy and healing / caretaking approaches - this species will not express our heart ♥️ & Soul !
May we ALL begin now , these activities and approaches of recovery as we begin to caringly re- parent ourselves !
❤ Gabor Mate MD PhD ❤
Lots of “I/ me/ myself” comments here…, me-me-me. Making publicly one’s private life story…
Blessings!
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That is so sad!!!
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Masking has been my way of life.. Dr Mate, listening to your analysis of childhood dramas is saving me. I’m 73
I have long appreciated DuPrey and Elgar. I have a neighbor who has MS. Must get his email address. 🙏🏽🌹
Don't let him put fear into your heart!! My heart eats negative emotions for breakfast!! It is just a feeling like any other feeling, a physical event!! You don't need any crutches, you can walk, even if you fall you learn something. Don't trust charity!!! Stay rigid!!! 😂😂😂
3:23 Makes total sense. That's why sometimes I catch myself auto justifying way more than needed, when I actually could actually just be my authentic self and own my mistakes
It's okay to not be okay.
Thank you so much for taking the time watching the video!💖🙏
Babies are not life jackets.
थैंक यू।😢😊❤dr
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When I heard Gabor tell this story the expression "pathological independence" came to mind.
Everyone would happy to know I A M NOT OKAy!!@@@@@@@!!
Why you should stop interfering and using codes and stop telling others how they should feel?!
You're right! Everything sucks right now; and my coffee cup is empty.
I love your videos so much. But its going to be more and more demanding to listen to the voice of Gabor Mate or to the music. It is too loud. Too many distractions
great excerpt from dr Mate, but I cannot begin to describe---and you comprehend---just how obnoxious the added background music is. Doesn't mean you absolutely have to get rid of it, but maybe try doing some actual sound mixing next time. Good luck.
Sorry about that
I wish he stopped using Ms Du Pre's story. She was more complicated than this simple portrayl of her. Its like she knew chesed. And she was deliberately misunderstood and denigated and not really accepted by those close to her which made her MS worse. Speculating about this woman's grief is wrong.
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Sorry he is too much pro drug for me -- even if he talks in a soft voice
Excellent video. Thank you Dr Gabor Mate 🙏 🤲
I hate the regular greeting question: "Are you're ok?" or "You're ok?". Nobody really wants to hear how you are and some people even don't like it when you answer honestly and say that you are not fine. Everybody pretends and answers " Great!" "Fine" when in reality they may not be okay. I may be naive and too sensitive but I just don't get it.
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The dialogue is too hard to hear as it is, let alone with the loud music.😊
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