If you have Abandonment Issues, this is THE CURE (WATCH THIS)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- Cure ABANDONMENT WOUNDS like this! Access The Frame Technique Workshop FOR FREE in my new App HighViber ➡️ www.highviber.com
Having an abandonment wound is much more common than you think.
An abandonment wound is when as a kid, we felt like in some way we are either physically, emotionally, or some form of abandonment happened where we felt like either our feelings didn't matter.
And as a result of this, we wired in a level of ourselves that thought that there's some level of shame that we are broken in some way, that our feelings don't matter, and what we'll find is that there's many side effects or symptoms that come from the abandonment wound.
Hey eveyone! You can access the frame technique workshop FOR FREE in my new app HighViber In this workshop you'll learn how to create magnetic energy and set boundaries. Get it here: www.highviber.com
It resonates I’ve attracted sociopaths and narcissists and had children to them
Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and you will be saved. John 3:16 (Share the good news of the gospel around the world!)...... ,,..
Have a wonderful rest of your day/night everyone, may the LORD bless you all, and farewell!.,,, ,,,,.. ,,,,, ,..,,,,..,,..
It helps you all. Checkity check it out.
Thank you so much Aaron! Love this type of content 🙌🏻💚❤️
@@1CT1 the two narcissists and psychopath I met were Christians. One I met at church. I’ll never step foot in a church again.
I cried when you said that it's not my fault. I feel that when people find out that I'm defective or if I did something wrong, they'll abandon me. I've never had someone said to me that it wasn't my fault. Thank you, Aaron.
I felt the same and cried when he said this 😢 it's like finally realising the truth.. sending love and light your way ❤️✨️
❤ to you both!
Me too
This video made me cry so many times
Yes, I feel that all the time. That when people get to know me, and see the broken me they would leave. It's abandonment wound and yes, it's not my fault. It's something happened, I didn't cause it or wasn't the reason it happened. Love to you all
Stop abandoning YOURSELF -
I need this TODAY. Thank you so much, Aaron.
Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and you will be saved. John 3:16 (Share the good news of the gospel around the world!)...... ,,..
Have a wonderful rest of your day/night everyone, may the LORD bless you all, and farewell!.,,, ,,,,.. ,,,,, ,..,,,,..,,,,
Layla i know you didn't ask but i think you're beautiful ☺️💜
He's right
How i helped myself was by the idea of if my parents couldn't or didnt want to give me something ie love, care, appreciation, hug, kind words... It's because they're human beings themselves but i can love myself and give my inner child whatever I need now.
@@jolaola1987 working on this too. Thank you
Your worthy
You can explain to traumatized ppl all day long that "it's not your fault" but until they can receive the message in their emotions it won't mean anything to them.
EDMR works wonders for the message to help
That's what therapy is for
The stop abandoning the self part is perfect. I realized I was getting massive anxiety from hanging out with people due to feeling like I’m not being entertaining enough to them. Actually, there’s no reason why I need to be entirely focused on keeping other people happy if we’re spending time together. I’m within my rights to do what I want to do.
Some may be hanging out with you just to be entertained... but that is not your responsibility. You are worthy of companionship and attention without having to be or give anything in return. I mean, you are worthy of companionship even if you aren't the entertainer 24/7.
@@guesswho5790 thanks, its good to hear
Of course~🙏👍💜
Oh my goodness, I do this!!!
omg thank you for sharing your comment! i didnt know i also do this! and its exhausting trying to keep people entertained or happy, I didnt realise this was because of this issue.
“You are worthy for just being you.” - Aaron.
So true, you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone💚
This is the TRUTH!
Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and you will be saved. John 3:16 (Share the good news of the gospel around the world!)...... ,,..
Have a wonderful rest of your day/night everyone, may the LORD bless you all, and farewell!.,,, ,,,,.. ,,,,, ,..,,,,..,..
I am watching this and started shedding tears...You described me to the point. I became emotionally unavailable woman to protect myself from getting hurt. It is a vicious cycle. I am trying to work on myself and move toward the secure attachment. I always struggled with selfesteem most of my life.
@@AgntBlueEye hey friend💚
Best bloody line ever to hit us all 😍
It's not my fault! It's not your fault! Thank you so much!!!! Stop abandoning Yourself! You got this babe! ❤
Being raised Christian, I thought God was punishing me when he took my parents before I was 10. Thank you Aaron for making me see that I am worthy 🙏🏿❤️
Yes you are worthy! 🙂
So sorry for your loss. Very sad. Warm hugs
Sorry brother. God loves all and you are loved at all times, remember that.
Oh my God so you just discovered you're worthy !!!! Let tell you something ok you're more than enough , whole , worthy , complete and priceless ok.......never beg or seek attention from people who don't see your worth and value !!!! Yourself worth doesn't decrease base on someone else's inability to see your worth !!!! I wish you well and take good care of yourself !!! Know your worth and increase your value
God wasn’t punishing you. He just wanted your parents at that time, that is all. He will want you too at some time, me too. He will want everyone at some time. When you were 10, he just wanted your parents then. It’s not about you. But obviously you missed your parents etc, that’s understandable. Plus it’s still hard but just know it wasn’t about you 💜
The universe brought me here
The “coincidence” of me recently looking into abandonment issues then Aaron posts this video and i see it on my youtube feed i definitely get your comment about the universe bringing us here.
Exactly
me too
God brought me here❤
x 2
It's not your fault - was a game changer for me. This video was like a therapy session. I'mfeeling so much calmer, clear minded, healed and free. Thank you so much Aaron Doughty, you're an angel. You're bringing healing to so many people. Love and Light!
Yes, my narc mom blamed me for everything. Thank you for repeating “it’s not your fault” that brought me to much needed tears.
My mother too
TRUTH!!!!!!PEOPLE of this 🌍!!!!!!
I have ALWAYS felt there’s something truly wrong with me. This video shook 25 years of feelings out… wow
It’s so good to see everybody’s story here. I was abandoned when I was 5, my mothers and my sisters moved to another place and I was left alone with my father who, thank god, was a better parent than my mother in some way, but he also made me feel emotionally abandoned. I grew up as a constant people pleaser and nowadays it’s super hard for me to trust enough to be authentic in a relationship. I‘m going through a dark night of the soul and right now I am re experiencing this immense, immense pain I was put into. Thanks for your words „it’s not your fault“ they made
me cry instantly.
It's NOT your fault, Y'all!! We are on this healing journey together.
It's so tough. It keeps ruining relationships. People get to know you and think you're fun and balanced, then something triggers you to react emotionally/sad that seems out of proportion to well calibrated people. It is a fear reaction but comes across as criticism/or looking for conflict. Let that happen a few too many times and despite explaining, reassuring that this is not your personality but something you are looking to fix, they always end up leaving. It makes sense but doesn't make it hurt any less. Good people walk out because who would do that to themselves. Even when you thinknyou have a handle on it, something always creeps back up and it ends again.
I relate to this so much😔
Yes 💔
My partner left me a week ago, everything just as you described. Id get sad and needy, jealous even though I knew in my mind it was unjustified. For 2 years it was a loving and easy relationship, until my triggers came out and burnt it all to the ground in 8 months. It's still fresh, but she was the love of my life, for that I am certain.
Leaving she said she'd never loved someone or been loved as much and she'd never had a happier relationship.. but, still, my abandonment issues ruined everything.
Yes. I married someone who is an avoidant. We both need healing. I am so tired of trying to get love and approval from him. We need a miracle in this marriage. He needs to heal and I need to heal. God open our hearts and minds so we can be a healthy marriage.
Something about you saying, "it's not your fault," was very freeing. Thank you for this 💜
My dad died by suicide when I was 6 years old and I have been a chronic people pleaser up until recently when I began to spiritually awaken. I always felt as if my bottom three chakras were blocked but my heart chakra, third eye, and crown were open and balanced! I have also dated depressed and even suicidal partners.. my dad's dad was depressed and emotionally unavailable to him..it really is a pattern, and I will break it.
Much love to you. We have such heavy ancestral wounds to clear. 🙏
So proud of you! Cheering you on from afar! You will do this! You got this!
Olivia,,you are so brave! As a medium I get at least 2 suicides or overdoses per week, My brother also took his life. I know the impact. Like Aaron said patterns are passed down ancestral lines but it's not your fault. You have the right idea of how to break it. Do a lot of grounding, tree meditations etc. and I did a lot of subconscious reprogramming including daily affirmations and I made myself sleep programs too. Being a medium your comment caught my eye. I hope my comment is OK
You've got this💕😇🤗
You can do this!!❤❤
Thanks, I needed this. In my case, I’ve always been the black sheep of the family, so I found comfort in friends. But my friends would always somehow leave. They would either move schools or countries, and this happened numerous times with my best friends. I knew it was out of their and my control, but it still sucked. It eventually became a cycle of me making close friends, and then being alone again bc they leave. I understand that it’s none of our faults. But now whenever I have some sort of meaningful relationship with anyone, even if it becomes harmful and no longer beneficial, I still have a hard time letting go. Because I lost so many people or grew apart from them in my life due to circumstances out of my control, that now when I feel like I have a choice or say in doing something about it, I should hold onto anyone I can. It’s not my fault, but I’m tired of this lonely cycle.
My mom and I were very close since I was little, my dad is married n has another family but somehow I’m here, we moved to US 6 years ago leaving behind family and childhood friends, it was very hard for me to adapt and learn a new language, also getting bullied in middle school wasn’t fun at all, i got in hs started making friends again, going out, living the life man; after 5 years my mom decided to move out of state 😀 when I was getting my f life together again, again lonely and depressed.
Now im quiet, I don’t really talk to my mom, trust issues, can’t communicate.
But it’s all good ❤️🩹 everything will be alright.
"It's not your fault!" A thousand thank yous my friend! 🙏🏻🥰
This was so incredibly helpful and exactly what I needed! 💗
I had an aha moment when he said it wasn’t my fault weeks ago i didn’t realize i felt like it was my fault until i cried after he said it so many times thanks Aaron 🌱
💓
Your energy vibe attracts your tribe ...
5:00 7:20 Biggest chunks of the message. Thank you so much! Subscribed.
When you said they didn't abandon you because you weren't good enough, I broke down in tears. I didn't realize I was holding onto that so tight. Because my brain always says "Maybe I was sent away to live with others because I was a difficult child. But I tried so hard to be a good kid, why wasn't I good enough?"
I am working on this very issue at Codependency Anonymous and you are so correct. I had alcoholic parents and my abandonment came from thinking I was wrong all the time and I was not lovable. Once I got in touch with that things really changed quickly. I am still healing this but have come a long way in a year. I joined Highviber, too. Thanks for your inspiration and important videos.
My mum has a mental illness and was in and out of hospital when I was a child. I only recently learned about attachment styles too. We will break the pattern. Awareness is everything!!
It made me as a grown man cry my dad was murdered after he picked me up from school in the first grade and I was looking for my mom to protect me but she was scared and had to flee the state so she left me until I was 15 which made her emotionally and physically unavailable I’m now 38 and sabotage every relationship I’m in this video was a moment of clarity why I have that issue thank you so much
I didn't realize how much I needed this video. Something happened when you said it's not my fault, I kinda lost it but it felt good. Thank you Aaron 🙏
This is a blessing! And I had needed this. I had struggled with this for years and I’m still healing. An answered prayer thank You Jesus and thank you Aaron. It is NOT my fault! And it isn’t yours either. I love you 💜
I grew up to my parents being unfaithful to each other. Till this day. They’re still together but they think me and my siblings don’t know what they’ve done,maybe to an extent we don’t but I know I’ve seen those messages, photos. It hurt and it effected my first real relationship and caused her to leave because of my constant jealousy. Thank you Aaron because she’d always tell me as well that it’s not my fault but i need to understand that it really wasn’t and not my fault they do that/this. Now I’m healing.
This was a game changer when I realized there was nothing I could do to change the outcome of my childhood. Beginning to see my parents through the eyes of compassion allowed me to mend our relationships before they both transitioned, it paved the way for me to begin my own healing journey. Thank you so much for this.
Transitioned?
@@niellalienthey switched "roles "
I am the architect of my life, I choose its contents, and I build its foundation. ! I am an infinite being. My potential for success is limitless. Life loves ME
~ Much love from a Law Of Attraction TH-camr💜
Very helpful. I've had a lifetime full emotionally unavailable people. I never could figure out how, in a whole world of people, I cannot seem to find someone that I like who likes me back. I think I'm still waiting for my mom to like me back. It's not my fault. I'm worthy just for being me. Love that. Made me cry. Maybe now I can finally heal. Thank you.
Wow! This stuck me so hard I have tears in my eyes. My parents separated when I was about 8 and I clearly remember the fear I felt even though that was 55 years ago. My dad was emotionally unavailable and my mum was abusive. All my life I’ve turned myself inside out to please others at my own expense and have left behind a string of failed relationships. Thank you for telling me it’s not my fault
Thank you so much, I've been struggling with this all my life. And yes it is generational, passed down through family lines, absolutely. But it can be stopped so it doesn't get passed on to others. It's so important to do this work!
Watch Lisa Romano TH-cam. Shes the best by far when it comes to these topics
Great video. I'm glad to know I actually made it far already (reframing the past, getting back to myself, stop people pleasing and doubting myself - I'm an INTJ so being different and asking myself what's wrong with me was huge part of my life even outside my family). But - when you said "it's not your fault", the tears just burst out of my eyes and streamed down my cheeks. The wound is deep, but I won't give up.
I am IN(F/T)J as well and same.
It’s not my fault. Definitely needed this.
I love that some random guy on the internet had to create a diagram to help me get over my abandonment issues thank you :)
My dad left, and I was able to find him. I asked him why, and I found out that he was unable to be the man he should have. His dad left his family of 5. It's is generational. I'm understand what happened, and I know it's not my fault. Thank you for this.
Love the way you presented this. Brings up so many issues as we grow up. People pleasing being one of the biggest! I’ve found re-framing to work wonders. 2:26 “Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning we give it”! A common mantra of my pal Tony Robbins. 😊🙏🏼
This hit home, especially the part about relationships with unemotionally available people. I didn't even know why this was happening. All I can say is WOW
I am ruled by my abandonment wounds. Been searching all day everyday to figure myself out. So much hope when i saw this video. So much defeat when i saw its not free. I am under the poverty level. I am scared to possibly waste my finances on the unknown. 7 day free trial, ok.... those dont have a winning streak for me. Thinking about taking my chances. If its legit my life will go from hell, to peace. Enjoying my daughter instead of analizing how to gain her approval. Coming out of a 46 yr isolation of fight, flight or freeze. Stop this constant overanalyzing. Im tired. I was suicidal. Ive gathered wind in my sails but im just so tired of living this way. Is it worth the energy i have left? God all i need is you, but did you lead me here?
Shoutout to you for being so vulnerable and open with us!
Abandonment was huge for me in so many areas and for so many years in my life. The people pleaser ….. at 49, I found an intuitive healer and I told my story, I was still living with the thoughts and feelings I felt, my interpretation of what was going on was from the age in which I went through these abandonment issues. the mental age of 4, 7,9, 10… so at 7 when my dad shifted in with another lady with two kids, I questioned it. Why did dad leave me and get two new kids, what’s wrong with me, I must be ugly and dumb and unlovable. At 49 my life changed in one session, it all made sense after trying to get my head around all the shit for years. I finally was able to see my story as just a story, sure it was shit, but it wasn’t my shit! I somehow was able to let go of all of those horrible thoughts about myself and I was finally able to see ME. The person who was my truth. I was able to love myself. I never thought that would be possible but it happened. I like the person I am, I now know my own truth, not the distorted lies I’d told myself for years. With self love it bought me incredible freedom and peace. I do not need to people please the way I did, live comes from
A genuine place now, not from a place of wanting acceptance or to be liked. I live in my own truth now and if others don’t like me then I don’t care…, I truly don’t as I know I am a good person, I know I’m genuine, I care and I am true. …
I'm a good decent person and NOBODY can take that away from me. Whew, not so easy to accept or even be sure of completely, one must be ever vigilant.
This is a wonderful comment, I’m pleased for you and hope I get to that same place, too. I’m working on it!
@@ShintogaDeathAngel You will get there I have no doubt. Learning how universal these feelings are helped me realize it wasn't my fault for things that were perpetrated on me in my early childhood enabling me to forgive myself. Then a lifetime of doing the right thing when nobody's looking has cemented the trust I feel when I look in the mirror.
This was really powerful, thank you. The idea that I’m in the habit of abandoning MYSELF just rocked me to the core. I’ve been trying and failing miserably to focus more on self care and this explains why. I had connected that others did not take care of me, so that was not a learned behavior, but the idea that I am self-abandoning takes it to the next level. Can’t wait to check out the app. Thank you Aaron.
This is me in every sense, I have ticked every box here 😔
Thank you for this. I actually can't watch the video right now because I started tearing up when you said "It has nothing to do with you" It would be a good cry and it's very healing to hear but I'm sitting at the laundromat right now and I am taking care of myself by not going there in this setting. Much love and blessings for the work you do and sharing this information. I will definitely come back and watch it again with a box of tissues for a cleansing cry. 🤗😁
Ive been working through my childhood stuff since 2020 and this feels like a big big piece, im so grateful that it is finally getting addressed. Thank you for this video and sharing your experience. It has given me a few tools that I really need. Its not my fault.
💖 Me too at the age of 56. Better late than never.
Sending love and hugs!
We will get through this!👍🏽💯
The shame, the perception of fault... becomes ingrained in your subconscious, it is hard wired
I wish I had found this video sooner but everything is up to divine timing. Thankyou so much for making this video and I hope everyone who watches this gets the healing they deserve ❤
Thank you honey so much for your beautiful message. It's one of the many issues & traumas I had. Thank you so very much. Hope u have a beautifully blessed day full of love, light, & blessings. Sending lots of love, light, & healing 🦋
This really helped me to compartmentalize the trauma I have from childhood abandonment. Thank you .
Brilliant response! You're fantastic. It did not occur to me ( or most others possibly), that now we can put this in a box and it no longer has power to dictate our responses. I hope everyone reads this comment, it pairs perfectly with the video.
I was abandoned at birth. It’s affected my relationships my whole life. I’m going through my third divorce. Finally getting to the bottom of this and healing this wound.
"That similar energy dynamic" - You are amazing Aaron! Thank you 🙏🙏🙏😊😊😊
I have been choosing women who are emotionally unavailable. I have been partially aware of this but you said it in a way that really resonated. No divorce, but lack of love and support. Thank you for this video.
Hey Aaron, thank you so much for making this video. I can 💯 resonate to this.
My parents got divorced when I was 12 years old and I always thought I was the reason. Therefore I kept attracting emotional unavailable boyfriends in my life, trying to "fix" them and show them so much love and hoping they will see my worth.
But the truth is no, it never worked out this way.
My body is in pain in different places as I was not aware of this topic for almost 40years. Now I'm healing slowly emotionally and physically, step by step.
It's not my fault!
Thank you Aaron doughty❤️
I have been seeing a therapist on and off for 15 years. I got into a rough spot two years ago and went back and decided to start unpacking my childhood. Much of my childhood I don't even remember unless it is a flashback. I have struggled to just live now for 37 years of my life, and attempted suicide again a year and three months ago. I am much better than I ever have been. But I resonated with this video for some reason. I do recognize that I need to detach from others and my fawning (people pleasing). But to put in practice I find to be very difficult. So much so, that I find I have to be very deliberate and slow in not only my actions, but also my words, and most importantly my emotions.
I think there are different reactions to abandonment.. for example, the dismissive-avoidant attachment style
@C R - The strategy for creating an EARNED secure adult attachment style involves reconciling childhood experiences and making sense of the impact a person's past has on their present and future. To earn security, you have to develop a coherent narrative about what happened to you as a child.
It helps to journal it all out as a timeline you add various events to as you recall them and then reframe them as you're now an adult and can see all the various perspectives to a situation we may miss or see tunnel vision on as children.
One of mine was being left alone at 5yrs in an empty schoolyard an hour before school started, another was both parents got in the car leaving us kids alone but I snuck in under the back seat area crouched down on the floor and though I was only about 3yrs they didn't notice me for about half an hour, yes I copped it but it was good payback I thought (which is a great anchoring memory of my fightback btw) and they were more somewhat more careful after that! They were busy people who wanted to live their lives first and foremost so often treated us kids as a bother, nuisance and mere extension of themselves and 📢 "THAT'S NOT MY FAULT!!" Love it Aaron, thanks for the reminder! 👍💝⚔️💝
@@louisegarner8888 my abandonment trauma happened when I was pre-verbal so talk therapy and reframing is not effective I think. The reaction was on a subconscious level.
However, what helped me was someone loving me consistently...a strong love can melt the effects of trauma and transform one into a secure attachment style.
@@12233445566abc I'm glad you found healing in a loving relationship, yes it absolutely makes all the difference to know you're well loved! I guess you could try doing inner child reparenting dialogue that's nurturing and supportive where you act as adult to your baby/child self and just give hugs, kisses, sing lullabies, chat and ask "what is it you need me to do to help you feel safe?" anytime you feel triggered or upset. That gets through to the subconscious as does journalling it out as self awareness is about 90% of healing. If it doesn't affect you anymore no worries. Thanks for your reply, it helps to hear others experiences and various perspectives on a topic. Sending you lots of love, light and blessings xx
💝🤝👶🤝💝
@@louisegarner8888 💓
How do you guys cope with this feeling?
We will do anything for approval.
I really want heal now. God help me I don’t want to have anxious attachment anymore. I felt very alone even though my mom was there but she didn’t have emotional regulation. I felt so much anxiety trying to be good. “ It’s not your fault” . My dad was not there: It is not my fault. Yup trying to heal through my marriage and my husband. I really hope my husband can heal his childhood wounds. I hope I can heal my childhood wounds. I have been abandoning myself. I declare I will heal and transform.
Thank you so much for this message Aaron, this is exactly what i needed to hear. I didn’t realise how i am today and the actions i take are to do with the subconscious beliefs from my parents divorce. I really resonated with this so deeply and really felt it in my heart when you kept saying ‘it’s not your fault’. Thank you
After a year plus of shadow work I'm totally transformed. Instead of my troubles being other people's fault, or the gov or whatever I now can connect the dots and see how my subconscious shadows were behind everything wrong in my life. It was painful work but I'm free and empowered..at least 95%. My parents did not divorce but by time I was 10 I BEGGED them to get a divorce. It was a hot mess of tempers and tears growing up. Peace and aloha to you
@@TheMediumChannel thank you for your response, I’m still learning about how to heal myself but I’m not sure what shadow work I need to do in order to fully heal. Could you suggest some which helped you? :)
Spirituality with Soph A full explanation would take too long but to give you a synopsis I call on and work with spirit through a meditation practice every day, I developed the ability to be present in the moment and our shadows trigger us emotionally . emotions are energy in motion and they affect the hormonal balance of the body which is why they are so hard to control and navigate but what you need to start doing is learn how to observe your emotional responses, especially the triggered ones rather than be them so in other words when you feel triggered step outside of yourself and observe yourself being triggered rather than be that triggered person and in that moment you will no longer be the shadows that are causing the reactions, you will become the observer of those shadows instead. If you do this repetitively it becomes a habit and if you keep doing it habits become programs and you’re literally reprogramming your mind to clear those old shadows and to be more empowered. There is more but that should give you a good framework to do more research and develop. Thank you for your interest and best of fortune.
@@TheMediumChannel this has been so helpful, thank you so much for taking the time to explain it to me, very grateful. It’s funny that you’ve mentioned how we’re built with emotions and that they’re hard to control and navigate because I’ve been thinking about that so much over the past few days! I feel over this past year especially with my spiritual awakening I’ve been going through a lot of shadow work like you’ve described, but I didn’t realize that was all apart of the shadow work process. I’ve been learning how to observe myself (thoughts and emotions) when I’m triggered but not sure if I’ve been getting anywhere that’s the problem. I’ve always wanted to connect to spirit but have been disappointed because I haven’t felt I’ve received anything a part from synchronicities-which is amazing still but I’m always searching for something deeper, a personal connection to spirit.
@@spiritualitywithsoph1988 That is good. Then there are meditation techniques, breath techniques, plant medicines and other things, working with Archangel energy has helped me, especially Archangel Raphael and I take that energy into my heart and stuff clears, and I have memories, and cry sometimes and if I see myself at a certain age I take him and hug him and tell him how special he is and how he's here on a special mission and he's not rejected and hug him and reintegrate, Reintegrating with our fragmented past to become present and whole is key. I did this most recently with my 6year old self..it's along the lines of soul retrieval work. Anyway there are a lot of techniques I don't even know about yet for shadow work and it's different in a shamanic tradition vs. say C
Carl Jung teachings but for me working with spiirt is the ticket, and allowing energy to move through me and clear energy blocks...in the spirit of community and sharing I teach how to connect with and work with Spirit if you're ever interested come on over to my place :)
It was my fault to a degree. I remember when I was in the womb that they didn’t want me then. I was an oops and my mom’s mother forced them to marry. (This was back in the 60’s) They did marry and had two more children and by the time I was 6 I was physically and verbally abused by my father. (Until the age of 17 when I moved out) And yes to this day I have resentment against my mom as to why she didn’t protect us. I become the protector of my siblings and mom. Still working through this abandonment issue. Thanks for posting.
Love this, it's all about breaking the pattern! xo
I had workaholic parents and an already introvert neglected brother. Never had the chance to talk about my feelings or any quality conversation at home and I have always been gaslighted and marked oversensitive when I was upset because of neglect. After all these years of being unable to feel enough and worthy by just being me, I felt anxiety filling me. I start to be myself again after almost 2 years. I realised that I have to change my people pleasing approach for everything. Thanks for making this video, it helped a lot.
I must have been born tough. I can be very sensitive but I dont let it direct my life for very long at all. My mom taught me only you can allow yourself to be hurt by a person, people. It just makes sense. She was always in therapy so i think that was to my benefit. Shed drop a few golden ideas which also served to allow me to gain freedom from her struggles. Her struggles…..sometimes became mine but I always saw them as her struggles and would extricate myself from the mess. Ive never let other people make their problems mine. It irritates me when they try. I just call them on it and dont engage. Im tough. But not totally. It takes me some time to really be sure its negative impact on my well being nd not just a selfishness. I kinda dont like selfish but most all humans are. I think its a natural conditon. Ive also learned ive made very little difference in peoples lives except as a small but constant role model of ….thoughness. Lol
My parents verbally, mentally and physically abusing me is NOT my fault!! THANK You Aaron!!!😘
Thanks for the video! I am working with abandonment wound for years now.
I have understood mentally the logistics of my trauma (the meaning), and have worked with my negative emotions (shame, helplessness, anger) and limiting beliefs (no one is there for me, everybody is leaving me eventually, i am not good enough for the real thing) around it, yet somatically I still feel that disconnect from truly belonging anywhere. I don't know how to put it into words.
On one side it feels like a blind spot, like missing important life skills or configured / distorted world view that are hard to acquire or even out as an adult. On the other hand it feels like ever present coldness or distance or numbness underneath no matter how much progress is being made or how much someone tries to love you and ve there for you.
Everything externally is fine, or almost fine, as we still get rejected in private and personal world from time to time and we learn not to take it personally, yet there are still something that we process differently or just don't have access to it internally because it was never there in the first place.
I thought a lot about these topics when I became mother and witnessed my son experiencing life and relating to people etc. It taught me how important physical touch / presence is, as well as positive reinforcement. Things I never received. Things I needed to thrive. So I am still in a deficit no matter how much I try to supply myself or reparent my inner child. I wonder if it will ever just feel different to be in my skin. Will the wound ever be healed to the point where I won't have to always just rely on myself and healthy love will also be granted for me externally? It may still sound like seeking validation, but don't we all need and deserve it, especially those who were starved from it from early on?
Thank God for this. I've felt worthless my entire life of 75yrs and have allowed people to abuse my good nature and bully me. I went from a fermented bully of a mother, to a bullying, controlling husband. I've even allowed 2 of my children to emotionally abuse me. Only last week i broke away from my narcissistic daughter. I'm definitely a people pleaser (no freaking more!). Bright up a Catholic didn't help with the inborn guilt complex. My husband had many issues. Through my own knowledge i helped him grow and prosper, expecting it to be reciprocated. He tested me like shit.
*People pleasers evolve from a strong desire to help people avoid the pain we carry ourselves.
My mom passed away a few years ago, and our relationship suffered after her hysterectomy and when I graduated from college. Every conversation was a fight about how I wasn't living up to her expectations (Bad job due to 2006 job market, no girlfriend prospects for a number of reasons, low self-confidence in general, etc.)
I thought I was improving the relationship when I got into law school, but she developed brain cancer and died my second year right around my finals. I tried and failed for a number of reasons, but overall hated everything and everyone for how my good intentions didn't matter and I was forced into this place in life.
It's been a struggle to accept that it wasn't my fault, but I will continue to struggle until it isn't a struggle
Omg. I can totally feel u. Pls stay strong Nd u r doing great. U will do even better in the future. This am sure.
IT'S IS NOT MY FAULT
IT'S IS NOT MY FAULT
IT'S IS NOT MY FAULT
I do ghost at conflict, I tend to be sensitive to criticism and conflict. Before coming to this video, I did recognize some troubling things that I knew came from my childhood and since then I've been doing the work at repairing it, I am so happy and grateful for this video, I'm on the road to recovery!
Omg. I clicked on this video & continued coloring while I listen. Then I looked at the video when he said “it’s not your fault” … I never found a man so handsome in my life.
Sorry. Random.
🙈💖💖💖💖💖 thank you for this video.
Thank you, I'm child of divorced family. This video literally make senses about my life experienced.
Thanks a lot for this video. I still struggle with abandonment issues stemming from childhood trauma. It's always great to hear that it's not the child's fault. Much love to everyone out there who are struggling with these problems. Never forget, it's not your fault. Namaste🙏
There’s nothing wrong with me. It’s not my fault.
This is something I’ve been trying to heal for years
It's not your fault. I have tears come up with this, which is why I'm here in this page. There is only Love
You are a blessing. It's so freeing to listen to the words your say. I deserve better. I deserve to be happy.
How ironic this video is for me… it popped up on my feed a couple weeks ago. And today I decided to watch it. Only to have it paused bc my dad wanted to talk to me.
Turns out my mum’s kicking him out, and I dont like the way he’s talking about it. Almost as if he’ll do the unthinkable. I’m very worried about him right now. And my mum’s immature behaviour is not helping.
Yup, this is exactly it. My parents from the very beginning didn't get together out of love for each other. It all made sense when my mom told me how they got together. It helped me to understand and heal from my past wounds. My mom also told me it's very common in her family to marry someone without love. Perhaps that's what she internalized from a young age, and this probably would've happened to me if I hadn't known.
Thank you for this video. I know understand what I felt. I kept seeking validation. I have been really hard on my self as I did not have parents who were unavailable for me. It passed on on to adulthood. I realise none of it was my fault.
Aaron u have come in my life as a God sent mentor, we have never met in the physical yet it feels soo real.. Thank you and God bless u, some day God willing we will meet and i can hug you and know that with God everything is possible. God bless ❤❤
Stop abandoning myself! ❤❤❤❤❤ mind blown 🤯
I cried so much watching this because it describes everything I am
Aaron thank you, you are a champion of the self, the injured self.
Rationally I can accept it was not my fault, but emotionally I am being kept in that space because of incidents where I was scapegoated, even though time proved my points to be correct, I still got lashed out by my parents
Im sorry its so true When i was 15 years old i abandoned my family and i never see them until now i understand my feeling is not important whats important is family first we can work together on that part i understand that its all my fault what im gonn do now is be a strong mother and take care of my kids i always do that when i was young age i always do everything for my family by myself even though no father but everything is okay now maybe im just acting up because of feelings but now i realize its not my feeling its the kids feelings im very very sorry to all of you just give me time as of right now because im too weak maybe couples days later ill feel good thank you very much i hope you pray for me thank you God
Learning to accept that not everything is my fault is something I’m working on. Your grandmas neighbours bestfriends gardeners cousins daughters dog could be injured and I would always find a way to believe it was all my fault. My ex even used to gaslight me to think I was the most evil person to exist because I would stand up to his abuse lol. I’m in a better place but this really helped thank you.
Accepting that *there’s nothing wrong with me* is something I’m eager to adapt to. I’ve come through so much I hope to god I can get rid of this belief that everyone I love either gets hurt or hurts me
The part with the disconnection from the lower three chakras and going into the intuitive part where we connect with everybody else…🤯 i felt all the time like this is happening. Thank you Aaron, im very thankfull for this video 👍
Jesus is real. If you're needing hope, peace, joy, freedom, etc. it's found in Jesus Christ. He's the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father but by him. If you're reading this, God is calling you to himself. He desires a relationship with you. Cry out to him. Don't give up.
I've had more spirtual growth abandoning dogmatic religion personally. Hope, peace, joy. These things have to be found internally, not externally.
I didn’t realize how broken and pathetic I am. My parents royally messed me up - one being a Narc and one an enabler. I’m so broken at 37 and NO HOPE anymore. It’s too late, I had my chances to heal.
Hi Aaron, Your video is great. I am finding it helpful. One thing you said that is difficult for me to relate to is the idea of detaching from the internal shame. Maybe I am being too literal but I witnessed my parents become emotionally distant towards my older sibling who chose not to practice the religion my devout parents did everything to instill in us. I had an intense fear of my parents responding the same way but I knew continuing to practice the religion was at odds with so much of myself as a person. When I moved away at 18, and it became clear I was no longer worshiping, my parents became emotionally distant. All that is to say, I don’t know how to truly let go of shame, because in my head I chose to walk away from the religion. And with my parents, they don’t see it as me choosing a different mindset. They see my actions to leave the faith is equal to abandoning them for eternity. How can I move past the shame/guilt I’ve internalized?
Thank you. This is very important for those with childhood PTSD.
It’s not your fault. You are worthy for just being you 💙
My parents aren't emotionally there for me and we moved constantly during my childhood. I made friends but had to always leave them behind. I finally settled in a city and made a close group of friends and I met my ex and he made me feel loved. Suddenly my friends drifted away from me and I was over reliant on my bf because he was the only one I had at the time. He became stressed and broke up with me. I lost my bestfriends and boyfriend in the span of a few months and I've accepted that I'm not at fault for most of what happened but I feel so empty. Everyone I enjoyed being around left me
Freeing yourself from this issue on the deeper level is the hardest, I m aware of my abandonment issue .. But still act on it, and it's frustrating :/
Adoptee here, this is extremely helpful to heal trauma from feeling unwanted. Then never feeling like part of my adoptive family.
Arron, this hit home in a big big way. My parents and events at a very young age really twisted my brain. I never felt worthy, although successful at many things, I am someone who sought perfection in everything and would either not follow through or could not find joy in my successes and just looked for the next source of external validation.
WOW! The power in the words "It is not your fault" and "You are worthy just being you".
I find framing current events and assigning or not a perception upon them simple, but it took this to video to really drive home the need to rewire by reframing the past. I have attempted to release those events but I need to forgive those involved and alter my perception of them.
Not to get too deep, my biological father was an abusive alcoholic. He threatened to kill me to seek revenge on my mother for leaving him, a threat she took seriously. I have known this since, an early age and was trained and taught to be aware of my surroundings and how to protect myself. This amongst other events in my life is the core of my unworthiness and fears of rejection.
Of course, I met my biological father at 24 and what I found was a broken man with deep regrets. He was no longer a threat, and even after his death I still have that emotional anchor from 1972. I know now that my inner child must be the one to reframe these events from, "my father does not love me enough to see me live to", "my mother loved enough to protect me" and none of what occurred was my fault. I was a child and did not ask to be born.
It is so freeing when you remove the guilt that was never yours to carry, to begin with. I cannot thank you enough for this. What a breakthrough.
I've been crying all morning, in bed. I'm 42 years old, in bed, crying out for my dad.
My dad is still alive but he's never really _been there_ for me. His anger and rage was always there, expected. All I wanted was for him to open his arms to me so I could run into them and find shelter from Life's storms.
But HE was he storm in my life as a kid.
How could I run *into* a storm for comfort?!?!
Maybe that's why I married an angry, raging narcissist?
Maybe I somehow twisted myself into thinking rage/anger was love?
Thank you for this. "It's NOT your fault." ❤😭😭😭
Thank you♥️😞. I’m battling this now. I am still lost trying to find healing.
I have literally had some of these realizations in the last week. I am so glad the universe brought me to this video because I am feeling SO VALIDATED right now. Thank you
Ugh. My mom moved 2000 miles away when I was four, and she had the biggest smile on her face as she pulled out of the driveway, like she was starting over and free. I'm middle aged now and I can't seem to handle dating at all. I feel like I need to put a ring on it on date one, and I become a nervous wreck, and I'm so tired of feeling this way. It doesn't help that my dad remarried when I was seven and she was always brooding when she wasn't screaming. I remember no positive memories until probably my mid-30s. If effed me up. Even with dates that I rationally identify as having toxic traits, I end up thinking that I'm the problem and I need to try harder. I'm tired.