“Miller will always be so special to me because of his arrival at the time of my miscarriage.” (Paraphrased) I think that is one of the most beautiful sentiments I have ever heard. What a special perspective God gave you in which to see Miller after your loss. My daughter’s friend lost her baby at the same time my daughter was pregnant. Such a difficult time. I have lost five babies-four between my first two. I felt the presence of the Lord because my hubby and I were never down at the same time. The support was beautiful. I pray God continues to heal your body and your heart as you grieve and mend. 🙏🏾♥️
Your cousin is a delight to listen to! She’s smart, honest, kind and unapologetic. Thank you for starting this series, it brings joy to my life! We struggled with infertility for about 10 years and had our children through IVF. I was pregnant 12 times and was blessed with 3 children, so most of our pregnancies ended in loss. Now I work providing support to those who experience loss and also provide information on fertility treatments since for many Christians as myself reputable scientific information is so essential to make huge life decisions on how to build a family. In a Q&A you answered questions about IVF and I love how kind your answers were, and I’d like to know more about the Mennonite community and their openness to fertility treatments. Recently, my view on surrogacy changed when I met a patient who lost her uterus giving birth to her first child and had more embryos frozen for future siblings to her baby. Her younger sister carried two of her babies to term and now she’s overjoyed with three beautiful, healthy children thanks to modern medicine and the ultimate love gift from her unmarried sister to carry her babies since she couldn’t.
I think the big thing with making surrogacy okay is keeping it in the family. Sisters helping sisters, or even mothers helping carry for daughters is way more tolerable and less of a mess than strangers.
Jayna is speaking some serious TRUTH about the purpose of sex and marriage. So beautiful. Natural Family Planning takes time to learn but it 100% works and you learn so much about your body. Thank you for sharing.
Yes! It teaches you to be aware of and learn your body and the changes that happen within your cycle. When you chart your temperature along with other signs, you see the changes on a graph. It gives you a “picture” of where you are at in your cycle. Your husband can be apart of it by giving you the thermometer in the morning and writing or entering it on your chart. This makes it so that both partners responsible and in the know of where you are at in your fertility.
I agree Jayna is speaking truth, I practice Natural Family Planning, and I have to say that we need to be careful when we say it works 100%, you have to learn it very well for it to work 100% and many times you learn as you go and from the unplanned pregnancies. For example, I have 2 friends who thought they knew it and both got pregnant from early ovulation, they ended their cycle and thought it would be safe that first day, then ovulated 6 days later, had a less then 10% chance and conceived. They were trying not to get pregnant. Of course they welcomed their babies and all but they were already struggling with the children they had and weren't wanting to get pregnant. Its a journey to trust God even with our fertility.
I’m catching up now with your videos. My son was my 6th pregnancy and the only baby that make it. He knows he has 7 older siblings in heaven and sometimes he talks about them and ask questions. Losing babies is hard and I still mourn each one of them.
I had 3 before I experienced my first miscarriage and I can honestly say I didn't really understand why it was so sad to loose a baby only 11 weeks along until it happened to me. It made me realize that the moment we find out we are carrying a new little one we automatically have made room in our hearts for them and unconsciously have already altered the size of our family in our minds. I think this is why it hurts even without ever meeting them.
I enjoyed this girl chat so much. I’ve been in tears a ton lately because I can’t get pregnant and seeing others with children is so difficult but the attitude of Miller being extra special because he is a reminder truly spoke to my heart. Thank you for this.
It's wonderful that both of you understand that everyone has to grieve in their own way, and that it's necessary for healing to take place. Wise women!
I’m a grandma and never had a miscarriage but Jana story brought tears to my eyes , her friends 😭 what a beautiful sad story . Dealing with grief is a personal journey for sure !
You lovely ladies did a sensitive job with some tough subjects, but I am certain many benefited from your experience. However difficult the subject your positive attitude even walking through sorrow is an inspiration.
Aww I am so sorry to hear about Jana’s miscarriage-I also had one in the last year and the grief was so sore! But good for you to talk about it and helping others by letting them hear your story! The thought that helped me was my baby was now in the grandstands in heaven cheering me and my husband on in our walk with God for the rest of our lives!
Remember she's speaking for a group of Mennonites, not sure how many believe in contraception/hormonal birth control. I'm Mennonite and never would use it 😉
I am 73 years old and suffered thru 2 tubal pregnancies, leaving me unable to have a child. However, I had a fullfilling career, and it didn't seem to bother my husband to be childless, so that was that. We discussed adoption but my husband was very against it so I let it go. Now I have close nieces and nephews so I am blessed that way, and their children are like grandchildren to us.
I’ve sat here and cried listening to your story. I’m so sorry for the loss of your two babies. I’m at awe at the kindness shown to her from friends and church. Where I go to church people just don’t care, family don’t care. They have the mindset of it’s all about them. No sympathy for you unless you’re in their clique. And I’m not in any of those. You girls are so blessed to have the church family that you have, and each other. God bless you both. I love watching your videos….I think you are an amazing young woman.
I love listening to you both! Especially how you are humble and non-judgmental when sharing your convictions. Thank you for sharing on this sensitive topic!
Thank you for sharing your story, Jayna! I’ve had 2 miscarriages as well. So painful but I remember the support and love from my family and friends and it really was amazing. And by the way, my oldest daughter’s name is Jayna! Such a beautiful name! ❤️
I miscarried at 15 week end of April. I still want to cry a bit listening to your story, I was due in October. I feel your pain, but God is good, and hopefully we will have more children in the future. May God comfort you, and bring you peace ❤
Thank you so much for being vulnerable and talking about all this. Another tip for supporting women who've gone through miscarriage (especially ones who don't have children earth side yet) is to remember them on Mother's day! Having people recognize I'm still a Mom, and reach out to me on Mother's Day has meant the world to me!
Jayna you have so much insight about these topics. I wish that miscarriage wasn’t something you’ve had to go through but please know that your story is helping others. You said something about grieving and if it takes 2 days or two years or however long let it happen. (I watched it last night while nursing and I’m paraphrasing) but that stood out to me. You seem so real in the words you share. I love that you’re not a “TH-camr” because you don’t seem to say only what will please viewers. You share your own beliefs and it’s refreshing.
I had breakthrough bleeding constantly on the birth control pill. My period lasted 12 days! I only used it for three months and went to Natural Family Planning. It was successful for us for 20 years! And thank you for sharing about miscarriage. I had one, and it was a life-changing experience. I will carry that sadness forever. I am doing well, but it is still sad.
I’ve felt very strongly, since my first baby, that God should decide when and how many children I have. I have received a lot of negativity for my choice. I have had 3 children in 4 years. Each one is a blessing and so loved. I think some of us are called to do this for a reason and others not. That’s ok. I was made to be a mother. I feel that so strongly. ❤️
Beautiful conversation. We use natural family planning. Currently pregnant with #7, due in July. We lost a baby March 1, 2013. The Lord was gracious to us in that time, and surrounded us with love. Every year I think about what our angel would look like, sound like. We all grieve differently and that's OK. Jayna you are right, having gone through it, we can bless those that do end up going through it.
This is so surprising to me! I always assumed Mennonites didn't use hormonal birth control and use natural family planning and cycle observation to regulate the size of their families. So insightful! Thanks for sharing!
It has helped me while I grieve my miscarriage to not use the word “but”. So I don’t say “I’m sad but the babies are in heaven”. I say/think “I’m sad and the babies are in heaven”. The positive doesn’t negate the negative!
I'm a nurse who had a miscarriage March 2020 after years of infertility. I felt defeated for the longest time, but God has blessed me with a 9 month old! I also commented to ask where you got your blouse, it's so cute 😊
Congratulations ❤❤ did you ever come across Napro fertility? I used this as my progesterone was so low I would have had miscarriages if it was not detected...🙏
That must have been so hard. I remarried and although I had a child we wanted one together. It wasn’t to be and it was so hard but I’m so glad I don’t suffer through a miscarriage. Best wishes
We lost our baby boy, Judah, at 35 weeks on Christmas Eve and it is the absolute deepest sorrow. I wish people knew that it’s okay to ask about him, even though it’s sad. I don’t think that it’s something you ‘get over’, but that you move forward with.
We have almost a 4 year gap between #2 and #3 … It was hard Megan, I get it! I saw people have two kids before I could even have one. It’s heart breaking to hear people repeatedly say “Don’t you want more” to which I responded “We are not stopping God, if He wants to give us a baby He will.” And He did 🥰 I actually enjoy the little gap and think His timing was perfect. Because of this experience I no longer comment/question women regarding pregnancy- it’s rude and can really hurt!
I just had my #2, and there is a nearly 4 year gap between my babies also. We wanted our babies earlier in life, and closer together (we had an early miscarriage between babes), but I feel the same as you - God knows His perfect timing, and now I'm thankful for the larger gap.
Yes to the dating and being married young stories/tips/advice. I’m on the other side now, almost 30 myself LOL but still interested on what both of your experiences have been thus far ❤️🙏
Thank you for your openess and for sharing your perspectives on this topic. I was not taught anything from a "Christian" perspective about birthcontrol till a bit later. Wish older women had shared these things with me before I was in my twenties. And Jayna, appreciate you sharing about your misscarriage. Between my first and second child I had one and I was very similar to you in my reaction. 25 years later I still thank the Lord for His soveirgn Hand in the matter BUT also for His faithfulness in carrying me through the grieving process afterwards. I look forward to eternity w/ that baby!
Hello! Love these new talks! I’m a mom of 8, and my perspective has changed on children over the 15 years I’ve been raising them. They truly ARE a blessing from God, and should be treated as such. Anyway, I have never been on Birth control, because of the associated risks (cancer, hormonal changes, weight gain,…) and the potential abortion of a viable baby. Thankfully, I went to Bible college for a semester (mostly a waste of money), and did a 4th year class in that semester: ethics. And we discussed BC in it. I also grew up knowing there was another baby before my big brother. I have always wondered if I have a brother or sister in heaven. And I learned as an adult, my mom has always wondered if her uninformed consumption of BC prior to her pregnancy caused the miscarriage. I knew I couldn’t live with that thought. Just a warning to anyone else who may be on the fence. Better to know people are literally living with such thoughts after miscarriage post BC than to be a un-warned and find out the hard way. Sorry if it triggers anyone, but if it saves someone grief, it’s worth it.
Your skepticism of fertility awareness methods made me chuckle. One thing I’ve learned through my 3 years of infertility is that there are MANY methods of fertility awareness. The one I’m currently using, the Creighton model, is completely based on cervical mucus observations. Fun fact, sperm can only live in the female body during the time of the month that she has fertile cervical mucus- otherwise they die within hours. And cervical mucus controls the valve of the cervix, allowing sperm to enter or not. I’m not anti birth control pill, but I love that fertility awareness can shed light on all types of hormonal imbalances and health problems instead of simply shutting down your reproductive system. Either way, thanks for promoting open dialogue. 🙂
I miscarried years ago and it was seriously traumatic - my heart goes out to anyone who has been through it. Even now I still think about that baby and wonder what may have been, but I'm pretty much at peace with the loss now. It just takes a lot of time and processing ...
Such an interesting conversation! I go to a Traditional Latin Roman Catholic church, and when my husband and I were taking classes with one of our priests, he wanted us to read Humanae Vitae by Pope Paul VI. It is written from the perspective Jayna was talking about, that children are a blessing from God. I loved reading it because it contained ethical/moral arguments against birth control, abortion, sterilization, etc. I know you two aren't Catholic obviously haha, but I think it is a great read for anyone regardless of their personal faith!
Thank you for being so open when talking about birth control. It can be a very taboo subject in many communities, but you approached the topic in a very honest and frank way. I take birth control and have taken it for many years due to PCOS and the hormonal issues associated with it. I was told hormonal birth control actually increases fertility and can cause the conception of multiples when stopped immediately before trying to conceive. In my case, that was very true. I have 5 sons, 4 of them are quadruplets that were conceived following a cycle of birth control and ovulation stimulating medications with an IUI. I also experienced an empty sac pregnancy that needed to be addressed with medications to allow my body to expel the sac since it didn't happen naturally. Thank you so much for opening up this topic! Honest, to the point talk is so important.
I love that you do these chats, they are excellent! Soon to be a G-grandmother and a grandmother to 8 now.........so much you know now that was dark secrets never spoken about in my youth. Love that you are so honest and open and can share the difference and respectfulness for all. Excellent. Blessings
I am in my 40's and my view of hormonal contraception has done a 180. When I was young, I used the pill without a thought. No medical professional took the time to explain how it works. As I became a mother of daughters and more informed on this topic, I changed my mind completely. I really feel that the Holy Spirit brought this change. One tip that I would suggest is to find a physician or midwife whose views on life align with your own if possible. This area of your life is too important to trust to just anyone. My daughter sees a physician trained in NaPro technology which values human life from conception.
That's so true! Mine has changed too. I grew up very worldly. But when I came to the Lord and really actually learned truth on hormonal birth control it is not good for me as a woman. Bc started because it was a eugenics push by Margaret Sanger to keep disabled and colored people from reproducing. That doesn't sit right with my spirit!! Evil!
What sweet ladies you are to share your lives and difficult times . I’ve found in my life the suffering and loss have made me much better at understanding others and being a support to others .
You two are so adorable. I wish I had a cousin that I could chat to like this - open and honest discussion. My female cousins are all much older and live quite a distance away, and those around my age are male, so no 'lady-topics' chats there. I hope Honey I'm Homemaker is here to stay.
I really enjoy listening to your 'Honey I'm Homemaker' videos(your other ones too). Great to have on while I work and helps me work through some of my own questions❤
I’m 70 and still have tears for three babies I lost, each from different complications. I do have 3 children and 6 grands and my life is truly blessed. But those memories are always there. Back then, no one ever talked about what happened, so I grieved in silence. Oprah had a talk show one day on just this subject and my tears flowed. My sister who lived far away was also watching the show and called me. She said I never knew what to say. We had a good cry by long distance! I’m glad you can talk freely about all of this. Communication is the key. Hugs to both of you.
Another great show, I really enjoy the two of you together. I'm sorry about Jayna's miscarrieges, that is very difficult to lose a child, and I'm happy she had friends and family around her to support her.
Thank you for this very frank discussion on birth control and miscarriage. My friend's daughter miscarried last September. She is still grieving. Thank you for giving her permission to continue to do so. I found your cousin's advice on the journey of grieving to be very healthy. Her moments of grief reminds me of my own journey of the recent loss of my father. Your cousin has become very comfortable in front of the camera very quickly, kudos to her. I look forward to your next installment. ❤❤❤
Turned this on as I was on the way to the post office to send a care package to an old friend who just lost twins. It was encouraging to hear how much this package could mean to her. ❤️
Children are such a blessing ❤️ It was great to hear you both have such positive attitudes about children. You both are so powerful and strong. Thank you for sharing
I went off "the pill" after my second daughter was born. I had side effects such as weight gain and a serious lack of sex drive. I have been taking my temperature ever since. We had our third daughter (she was planned) and she is now 4. It has worked out so well for us and I have no desire to go back on hormonal birth control.
We heard those words from my doctor at 28 weeks and I was devastated. I have a couple of friends who’s babies would be the same age as my daughter and I love seeing them grow. It’s hard to live with the “what ifs” but I have faith maybe one day I know God has been good to us and has a greater plan but there’s not a day that goes by without me wondering how my daughter would be if she had lived… I’m so sorry for anyone else that went through this
I loved this conversation. I really appreciate how you guys decided to talk about such a controversial topic as birth control. I was completely shocked and horrified when I found out the abortifacient potential of birth control. Its something we need to talk more about in the Christian community and not just blindly accept because our moms did it and pro abortion drs say its okay. You both speak the truth with such Grace. Love the addition of Jayna to your channel Megan 🤍
Thank you for posting this video. I'm not mennonite and I live in a very different culture than you do. I'm sure you are aware but I just wanted to highlight that birth spacing is an important part of taking care of the health og both mother and child. Women need time to recover from pregnancy and child birth and children benefit from having parents that have enough resources (mentally, physically, financially) to support, take care and nurture all of them.
Its okay to not want more children. Three is my limit for my family, for my mental health and for my sanity. And thats okay and a blessing to be able to decide for yourself.
With my first baby I went for my 11 week appointment and they couldn’t hear a heartbeat, it was the scariest moment of my life and because it was covid I was all alone. I went right to the ultrasound, praying the whole time, talking to my baby, begging them to be okay. Then on the ultrasound there she was, perfect, healthy, strong heartbeat! She’s almost 3 now!
Oh the goodness, I've been thinking about getting off of my hormonal birth control pill I've been on since a teenager after starting to listen to the Freely Rooted podcast recently. I started at episode 1 so they are definitely not current to current affairs right now. I had a discussion with my husband this afternoon about our agreement in my not taking the pill anymore based on what I'd been learning about the real nature of taking it. AND THEN for this to be your topic and for the information to all line up is so validating ! I didn't even know there was practically a movement going on right now. THANK YOU for bringing up such important, vital and timely topics!
This conversation brought up so much for me. In the spirit of not keeping this subject hidden, I'd like to share my story. First of all, I was raised Catholic in a not particularly devout family. I struggled with questions that nobody wanted to work through with me as a child and ultimately chose not to be confirmed and have considered myself agnostic ever since. Unfortunately my mother broke my trust by trying to coerce me into being confirmed on the grounds that it would make everyone else happy, that I would be the first one in the family not to do it, and when those didn't convince me, she tried to bribe me(which I found devastatingly imoral). So when it comes to ethics and how to live a good life, I felt very much like I had to figure it out by myself. Fast forward, my husband(who is an atheist) and I met about 9 years ago and I went on the pill. I went off a year or so before we were married and I did not have a period for 8 months. We wanted a child but 2020 was the year my grandmother died and I was stressed and in grief. 2021 I got pregnant in February and miscarried at the end of March. I was surprised how devastated I was after such a short pregnancy, but early in almost as soon as I knew I was carrying, I had a vision, I felt like I was being visited by the spirit of my child. I saw a shiny, laughing baby with golden curls and was so happy. I'm still devastated to think I will never meet this child. After this we made a lot of decisions that would make having a child inconvenient. We sold our home and moved in with our parents(back and forth), and my husband was adamant that we not bring a screaming newborn into their homes(of course none of them felt that way but I had to respect that he felt strongly about this). So I spent the year learning about fertility and tracking my cycles and come January of this year I had very strong preovulation signs, and I badly wanted to try for a baby. We had decided to wait until we knew we would be in our new home before trying(we are building a house on farmland we bought in 2021), so my husband decided to use a barrier. I felt so strongly that we were supposed to try and guilt that I wasn't taking the opportunity that God was giving me at the time that I wept. Then in March I didn't ovulate at all and I was scared that I had missed my one opportunity. In April I had very minimal/lousy preovulation signs and I didn't think it would be worth bothering to try but my husband(ever a stickler to schedules) said we may as well try because we don't know when it will happen.... and it worked! I am not sure if there is a lesson to be learned from this, some might say that I need to learn to trust my husband more. I do feel like God brought him to me even though, maybe because, he is atheist. We obviously had a secular wedding and I know many would not consider that a marriage at all, but I do. I have struggled with trusting his judgment so if that's what I feel the lesson is maybe it is. I am 16 weeks now, I haven't had an ultrasound but things have been good. I have definitely been more guarded this time and have not connected yet with the spirit of this child. I've been thinking a lot though about how I want to do better for my children in terms of offering them(hopefully many) principles and leadership, and I know that I need a wider community for this. I have been thinking about going to church, but I am not sure that I will ever fully believe and I don't want to feel like a fraud. I guess I felt like sharing because I've really appreciated Jayna's perspective in this series of conversations. Bless you both for opening yourselves up to the world in this way.
Thank you Meghan and Jayna for sharing your personal stories and offering a mature discourse about birth control and miscarriage. I’m a 39 year-old Christian mother to six living children and one in heaven. Each of our children was planned using modern natural fertility awareness methods during our thirteen year marriage. Modern fertility awareness methods are NOT, “your grandma’s Rhythm Method!” When taught and used properly, modern fertility awareness methods are just as effective as hormonal contraceptives and various barrier methods (because you will be abstaining all together during your fertile window) with none of the side effects, cost, or trips to the doctor.
It's lovely watching the two of you interact and I am so happy that your church community is able to provide you with such a feeling of support and love. I have been an avid and devoted Christian for 60 years but am currently in the process of having my faith completely deconstruct. I think the way you uplift and support for one another is so lovely and I'm glad for you both. I have at tendency at this point to be very negative about religion because I think the doctrine is so harmful and I don't like listening to you using words like "conviction" and "purpose of God" but then I realize as I listen that your faith community is such an important part of your lives and it helps you to be the wonderful persons that you are becoming. I hope you don't try and provide guidance to your younger sister as it is best she get it from a medical professional, but the two of you and your ability to interact in an honest and lovely way is heartwarming. Jayna, be careful of using your personal experience as a barometer of what is safe and what works. Natural planning does not 100% work and the purpose of marriage is not simply children. Many people cannot have children and they have not failed in achieving the purpose if they don't have them. I love what you both said about not always knowing what is true and doing what you think is best. Best to you both. You young ladies are wise beyond your years!
NFP does not work 100%, neither does HBC. If you look at the Pearl Index you will see that both work to about the same degree. People who think NFP does not work well (or even, that it does not work at all) are ill informed and just think NFP is the same as the Knaus-Ogino-Method or even the "Calendar Method" (the first only works if you have an absolutely reliable hormonal cycle and the second does not work at all). Natural Family Planning is also known as Symtothermal Method and if applied correctly, it is even safer than the pill. But its not a way to make money for Sandoz etc so its not being promoted a lot.
I’ve watched this video twice already. I thank you both from the bottom of my heart for your openness and honesty. These are very important issues for women from all walks of life. Thank you for contributing to a healthy conversation about female reproduction.
Thank you so much for sharing. I had a second trimester miscarriage a few months ago, and was blessed to actually delivery my precious baby and hold him and say goodbye. It was so healing. For me, I really wanted to talk and share about it but nobody wanted me to because it was too sad and awkward for them. I was so sad and sorrowful, but I was also so proud, I had a baby and he was perfect and he never had to face any of the trials or evils of this world. I carried him straight from earth to heaven and even though it is a deep deep hurt and ache, at the same time, I feel grateful and blessed to have had him. Dads don't often feel the pain of miscarriage in the same way that we moms do, but in my case, my husband also held him and cried over him, and was able to empathize with me, which also brought a lot of comfort. I'm so glad you shared. Thank you
Jayna seems like such a sweet, honest person. I love that she is sensitive to her conscience and the leading of the Holy Spirit. God is a personal God and He knows each of us individually and what is best for us and our families. I had a miscarriage with twins at 14 weeks...I heard the awful words "there's no heartbeats". I can totally relate to how you felt, Jayna. I grieved deeply. I cried at random times when I didn't want to. Praying over a meal I would burst into tears or when I'd randomly remember they would have been 2 years old... Over time, my heart has healed. The date of their delivery came and went this past February (9 years ago already) and I didn't cry-not because I don't care anymore or have become hard-hearted, but because complete healing has taken place. Through it all, I've learned to trust in Jesus more. I can put my arms around someone else who is suffering loss and truly know what the pain feels like. I know the fear that follows, the unbidden "what if it happens again" thoughts that sneak into your mind. But there is healing for it all in Christ and your faith can come through stronger than when you began. Lastly, I hold my 3rd child in my arms. He's 2 months old. So sweet and perfect. My other two are 7 years old and 11. To some, they may say I'm "starting over" or the age gap between him and the others is "so big". But, don't compare your timeline to someone elses. In our mid 30's we are so glad we have another child. He's a ray of sunshine to our whole family. Another child that I have longed for. A blessing from God, a dream come true, a hope granted, a prayer answered and a desire fulfilled! Children are a blessing!!
This vid makes me want to connect with my girl cousins more! So cool to have conversations like this as older humans. The main reason why I haven’t is that we live in different cities. But that’s not really an excuse. Thanks for the inspiration Megan! I was on the pill in my 20s - terrible - made me fat and lost my sex drive. You are both lucky it didn’t wreck you!
The method Jayna describes is basically what NFP is and what we Catholics are recommended to do whether we want to try to avoid or try to conceive (tta or ttc). It is a very central theme that attracted me about religion (being brought up atheist): openness to life.
Thank you so much for sharing about your miscarriages Jayna. I just had my 12 weeks appointment yesterday and there was no heartbeat and the ultrasound confirmed. This is my 3rd loss out of 4 pregnancies, the first two losses were at 5 and 6 weeks. With my first I felt like I was overreacting because of how sad I was. And people's comments were sometimes very unhelpful. You truly just have to grieve how you need to grieve and not let someone else tell you how. Unfortunately miscarriage is so common, yet most people still don't know how to sympathize, so I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on that. Every time I think about Jesus holding my babies for me I cry, no matter how long it's been.
I’ve suffered 3 losses, while I don’t understand why God would have me and our family to have to walk through that it definitely grew my faith in God for loving my babies even before I could meet them
This is something we as women need to be talking about across the board. No matter our background, color of our skin, religion, etc. Our physical and mental health should be of the utmost importance to us before everything else. We need to be talking to our daughters and granddaughter about this, too.
I had really bad mental health side effects from birth control. It gave me anxiety and depression and I wasn’t myself at all. I used to think it was a cure all, but it was the complete opposite for me. I am so happy for all of the women it works well for!
I am a Christian and pre -children I thought I would have a big family at least 6 kids. Than after my first daughter I had severe post partum bleeding and ended up having post partum preeclampsia.I was told by my doctor that I wouldn’t necessarily have post partum preeclampsia again my next pregnancy. Three years later I had my second child and was re admitted to the hospital the night of the day I was discharged with post partum preeclampsia again , this time twice as severe. I had to make the decision not to have any more biological children and it is definitely a heartbreaking decision. I hope that my life is worth not risking and I am doing the right thing preventing future pregnancies using protection and in the future my husband is getting a vasectomy.
My thoughts and methods on birth control have changed so much over the years. I started on the pill, then used the barrier method. After our third child and one miscarriage we learned natural family planning and did that for a number of years. After a few more children we felt led to leave it completely in God's hands and let Him be the one to decide how many children we would have. But after number 8 at the age of 38 we decided that was enough and we went back to the barrier method. After 2 more miscarriages in my 40's (both surprise pregnancies) I decided I couldn't handle the rollercoaster of emotions that came with an unexpected pregnancy, learning to accept the pregnancy, and then losing the baby. My husband had a vasectomy even though that was the one thing I said we would never do. Honestly now that he is 50 and I am almost 46 we feel that it was a good decision. The most important thing I think is that couples don't decide once and for all what they want but that they stay open to how God might lead them through His word and other people they might meet, and to always be in prayer about what God wants from them regarding children.
I had 5 miscarriages and 2 miracle babies. I just had my second boy 9 days ago and I still feel a bit of sadness for my previous losses. It never fully goes away.
That‘s right. The sadness will never go away completly. I had 2 miscarriages last year. But my two angel babys will always be a part of me. A good friend gave me a little bronze angel and it is so special to me.
I love this new series you are doing. I had 4 miscarriages before i got pregnant with my now 17 yr old son. I was told it was because i was on bc. Bc messed my body up so bad that even my doctor said to stop taking it. I also have a 15 yr old son born 2 yrs after my first. Then while i was pregnant with my second my first born was diagnosed with cancer. Hubby and i decide we couldnt handle anything more and he got a vasectomy. Im grateful for my 2 wonderful blessings.
I'm past the age but listening to you talk about loss brought memories of my loss. I remember wondering why I was feeling a certain way and my doctor reminded me I was pregnant so it is normal to feel off. My husband and I talk about our loss from time to time we both believe it would have been another girl. We both know where this baby is and will see her again. I think you both sharing is important for many young ladies to perhaps ask questions they never thought of. I was also young when I married 20 21 my husband was 23. We have both changed and have grown. What a ride we have been on. I to say it has been 33 years and placing God in the center of our marriage has key. Blessings to you both.
Thank you for making this and sharing your stories! I think it's important to educate women about all the other options to family planning other than birth control, which is the only option most women know about, I think. I've been using the NFP Marquette method and I truly believe it works! I feel so much more in tune with my body and comfortable knowing I'm going about planning naturally and using the "built-in" calendar that God gave me!
I just recently had our third miscarriage a month ago and it rocked me. We have two beautiful sons Gods blessed us with as well but it’s definitely hard
amazing how different everyones perspective is,I have a 7 yr old ,4 yr old 3 yr old and a 1 yr old and I LOVE my children.however,Im so thankful for birth control and to have access to it.I was EXREMELY sick with my pregnancies and each one got worse.Iwasnt able to care for my family over my pregnancies and 3 of my babies were extremely colicy.I feel God wants me healthy and present and able to care for my family and not just "pumping out babies" because it "happens naturally". by the way, nothing prevented pregnancies for us except the pill.you name natural prevention ,we tried it.I appreciate that you arent condemning because my viewpoint is totally different and I love your channel😊my focus is on Gods will and raising my children for the Lord and not just having as many kids as possible🙂
My AP biology teacher used to joke "You know what you call people who use the rhythm method????? Parents!" I too was on the pill, which worked great for us, because I find bringing a life into this world and having the resources (both emotional and financial) to give that child a great life so important, that a reliable contraceptive was a must for me.
I always believe that no matter what we do to prevent anything if God wants it to happen it will. The birth control just gives you a little extra peace of mind. I’ll add you to my prayers as a mama!
I am so sorry for your loss. I have friends who have had miscarriages after going off of birth control. There is actually research that says long term usage of birth control may increase your risk of miscarriage.
I was on hormonal birth control for 10 years and came off when my husband and i wanted to start trying for a baby and that's when i stumbled upon the fertility friday podcast and natural family planning and told my husband I would prefer to never go back on birth control
Excellent conversation and openness ladies!! Bravo!!! As a Roman Catholic, our Faith is often less “direct” about such topics and often gives “rules” without explanation… not all of course, but many…. personally, it is why I feel our young adults can struggle in having the necessary discussions to make their choices. I hope you are typical of your community. What wonderful examples of the blessing it is to be a woman, wife, married and single. Thank you for sharing. May God’s Purpose always be evident to you in even the most difficult and challenging of times. May He comfort you all when His Wisdom is beyond human understanding. May the heavenly babies rejoice as they can love and comfort their families from paradise. God bless ❤️🙏🏻 see you soon.
Roman Catholic here too… actually, our faith is very direct about these things. Birth Control is a huge no as it frustrates God’s creative plans. Humane Vitae is a very well known encyclical that explains it in case you would like to explore further.
So nice listening to your stories! I've never had any hormones and people don't understand my reasons and I think it's really hard to talk about too. You inspire me all the way to the Sweden thank you ❤️
Love to hear a respectful conversation about your personal convictions about birth control and your experiences with it. Also a very lovely conversation about family and loss. 💕
I come from a totally different culture, I am not religious at all, but I do love your videos Megan, and especially this new serie. I also stopped using the pill a few years ago it, it was a mutual decision with my partner and I feel so much better now, we still don't have kids but use other methods until we are ready to have a family. And thank you Jeyna for talking so openly about your miscarriage, it is so important to share stories like yours so it is talked more and more without shame.
Beautiful discussion. Honest and down to earth. Love listening to you. Thank you so much for sharing personal experiences that are hard to talk about. Hugs and prayers ❤️
You ladies are so much fun together! It's obvious you are dear friends as well as cousins. What a blessing you are being to young women and not so you women. I'm 72yrs old & a Grammy, I had 2 miscarriages between my two daughters. This would have been around 1975 or 76. I was about 6wks pregnant the 1st one and then 8wks the 2nd one. Of course this was before the wonderful pregnancy tests available to women today. It was really hard to deal with the sadness I felt. Everyone acted like it wasn't a big deal even my OBGYN. My husband felt bad for me & sad for our loss but his hormones weren't going crazy either. I'm so thankful that people actually understand how important it is to support women who are dealing with miscarriages. I know I will see my babies in heaven. Thanks for sharing your lives with us. From Texas
“Miller will always be so special to me because of his arrival at the time of my miscarriage.” (Paraphrased) I think that is one of the most beautiful sentiments I have ever heard. What a special perspective God gave you in which to see Miller after your loss. My daughter’s friend lost her baby at the same time my daughter was pregnant. Such a difficult time. I have lost five babies-four between my first two. I felt the presence of the Lord because my hubby and I were never down at the same time. The support was beautiful. I pray God continues to heal your body and your heart as you grieve and mend. 🙏🏾♥️
Your cousin is a delight to listen to! She’s smart, honest, kind and unapologetic. Thank you for starting this series, it brings joy to my life!
We struggled with infertility for about 10 years and had our children through IVF. I was pregnant 12 times and was blessed with 3 children, so most of our pregnancies ended in loss. Now I work providing support to those who experience loss and also provide information on fertility treatments since for many Christians as myself reputable scientific information is so essential to make huge life decisions on how to build a family.
In a Q&A you answered questions about IVF and I love how kind your answers were, and I’d like to know more about the Mennonite community and their openness to fertility treatments. Recently, my view on surrogacy changed when I met a patient who lost her uterus giving birth to her first child and had more embryos frozen for future siblings to her baby. Her younger sister carried two of her babies to term and now she’s overjoyed with three beautiful, healthy children thanks to modern medicine and the ultimate love gift from her unmarried sister to carry her babies since she couldn’t.
Yes modern medicine is crazy. What a story!
My grandson is a miracle because of surrogacy. He is loved and adored.
I think the big thing with making surrogacy okay is keeping it in the family. Sisters helping sisters, or even mothers helping carry for daughters is way more tolerable and less of a mess than strangers.
Jayna is speaking some serious TRUTH about the purpose of sex and marriage. So beautiful. Natural Family Planning takes time to learn but it 100% works and you learn so much about your body. Thank you for sharing.
Yes! It teaches you to be aware of and learn your body and the changes that happen within your cycle. When you chart your temperature along with other signs, you see the changes on a graph. It gives you a “picture” of where you are at in your cycle. Your husband can be apart of it by giving you the thermometer in the morning and writing or entering it on your chart. This makes it so that both partners responsible and in the know of where you are at in your fertility.
I agree Jayna is speaking truth, I practice Natural Family Planning, and I have to say that we need to be careful when we say it works 100%, you have to learn it very well for it to work 100% and many times you learn as you go and from the unplanned pregnancies. For example, I have 2 friends who thought they knew it and both got pregnant from early ovulation, they ended their cycle and thought it would be safe that first day, then ovulated 6 days later, had a less then 10% chance and conceived. They were trying not to get pregnant. Of course they welcomed their babies and all but they were already struggling with the children they had and weren't wanting to get pregnant. Its a journey to trust God even with our fertility.
Abstinence is the only way to 100% not have children. Not many people want to
Go that route
I’m catching up now with your videos. My son was my 6th pregnancy and the only baby that make it. He knows he has 7 older siblings in heaven and sometimes he talks about them and ask questions. Losing babies is hard and I still mourn each one of them.
I love this. Kids are in in quiet time and I feel like I’m having a chat with my friends. It’s perfect!
So glad you are here! ❤
I had 3 before I experienced my first miscarriage and I can honestly say I didn't really understand why it was so sad to loose a baby only 11 weeks along until it happened to me. It made me realize that the moment we find out we are carrying a new little one we automatically have made room in our hearts for them and unconsciously have already altered the size of our family in our minds. I think this is why it hurts even without ever meeting them.
You said this well!
I enjoyed this girl chat so much. I’ve been in tears a ton lately because I can’t get pregnant and seeing others with children is so difficult but the attitude of Miller being extra special because he is a reminder truly spoke to my heart. Thank you for this.
It's wonderful that both of you understand that everyone has to grieve in their own way, and that it's necessary for healing to take place. Wise women!
I’m a grandma and never had a miscarriage but Jana story brought tears to my eyes , her friends 😭 what a beautiful sad story . Dealing with grief is a personal journey for sure !
yes - sad can be beautiful also.
You lovely ladies did a sensitive job with some tough subjects, but I am certain many benefited from your experience. However difficult the subject your positive attitude even walking through sorrow is an inspiration.
Aww I am so sorry to hear about Jana’s miscarriage-I also had one in the last year and the grief was so sore! But good for you to talk about it and helping others by letting them hear your story! The thought that helped me was my baby was now in the grandstands in heaven cheering me and my husband on in our walk with God for the rest of our lives!
Interesting to hear the mennonite perspective on this. In Catholicism we don't use artificial contraception, just natural family planning.
Yes, as a Catholic myself, I was very surprised to hear this about Mennonites.
Remember she's speaking for a group of Mennonites, not sure how many believe in contraception/hormonal birth control. I'm Mennonite and never would use it 😉
I am 73 years old and suffered thru 2 tubal pregnancies, leaving me unable to have a child. However, I had a fullfilling career, and it didn't seem to bother my husband to be childless, so that was that. We discussed adoption but my husband was very against it so I let it go. Now I have close nieces and nephews so I am blessed that way, and their children are like grandchildren to us.
🥺 I'm sorry about the first part..
Jayna says so much truth in her words. I love hearing her story, because in all this bad time she is happy too.
I’ve sat here and cried listening to your story. I’m so sorry for the loss of your two babies. I’m at awe at the kindness shown to her from friends and church. Where I go to church people just don’t care, family don’t care. They have the mindset of it’s all about them. No sympathy for you unless you’re in their clique. And I’m not in any of those. You girls are so blessed to have the church family that you have, and each other. God bless you both.
I love watching your videos….I think you are an amazing young woman.
I love listening to you both! Especially how you are humble and non-judgmental when sharing your convictions. Thank you for sharing on this sensitive topic!
Thank you for sharing your story, Jayna! I’ve had 2 miscarriages as well. So painful but I remember the support and love from my family and friends and it really was amazing. And by the way, my oldest daughter’s name is Jayna! Such a beautiful name! ❤️
I miscarried at 15 week end of April. I still want to cry a bit listening to your story, I was due in October. I feel your pain, but God is good, and hopefully we will have more children in the future. May God comfort you, and bring you peace ❤
I'm sorry! You are not alone. Im sure October will be a difficult month for you.
Praying for you.
Ya,God is faithful,may He bless you abundantly
I miscarried at 14 weeks in February and it is so painful.
Thank you so much for being vulnerable and talking about all this.
Another tip for supporting women who've gone through miscarriage (especially ones who don't have children earth side yet) is to remember them on Mother's day! Having people recognize I'm still a Mom, and reach out to me on Mother's Day has meant the world to me!
Jayna you have so much insight about these topics. I wish that miscarriage wasn’t something you’ve had to go through but please know that your story is helping others. You said something about grieving and if it takes 2 days or two years or however long let it happen. (I watched it last night while nursing and I’m paraphrasing) but that stood out to me. You seem so real in the words you share. I love that you’re not a “TH-camr” because you don’t seem to say only what will please viewers. You share your own beliefs and it’s refreshing.
I had breakthrough bleeding constantly on the birth control pill. My period lasted 12 days! I only used it for three months and went to Natural Family Planning. It was successful for us for 20 years! And thank you for sharing about miscarriage. I had one, and it was a life-changing experience. I will carry that sadness forever. I am doing well, but it is still sad.
I'm past the age of having babies. But thank you so much for this video. I love hearing how other people live. Thank you so much ladies!
I’ve felt very strongly, since my first baby, that God should decide when and how many children I have. I have received a lot of negativity for my choice. I have had 3 children in 4 years. Each one is a blessing and so loved. I think some of us are called to do this for a reason and others not. That’s ok. I was made to be a mother. I feel that so strongly. ❤️
Beautiful god bless💜
I was fortunate that breast feeding stopped my ovulation .
Beautiful conversation. We use natural family planning. Currently pregnant with #7, due in July. We lost a baby March 1, 2013. The Lord was gracious to us in that time, and surrounded us with love. Every year I think about what our angel would look like, sound like. We all grieve differently and that's OK. Jayna you are right, having gone through it, we can bless those that do end up going through it.
I would love to see and “easy meals that you can put together for gifting to friends/relatives” video!
This is a wonderful idea!!
YES!!
YES!!
This is so surprising to me! I always assumed Mennonites didn't use hormonal birth control and use natural family planning and cycle observation to regulate the size of their families. So insightful! Thanks for sharing!
It has helped me while I grieve my miscarriage to not use the word “but”. So I don’t say “I’m sad but the babies are in heaven”. I say/think “I’m sad and the babies are in heaven”. The positive doesn’t negate the negative!
Exactly 💙
From my 3 miscarriages i think the hardest part was grieving alone. The babies can't be real to anyone else like it's to the mother
I'm a nurse who had a miscarriage March 2020 after years of infertility. I felt defeated for the longest time, but God has blessed me with a 9 month old! I also commented to ask where you got your blouse, it's so cute 😊
Congratulations on the baby ♥️
Megan’s is from Inherit Clothing company and was designers by her actually! Sorry if you meant her cousins.
Congratulations ❤❤ did you ever come across Napro fertility? I used this as my progesterone was so low I would have had miscarriages if it was not detected...🙏
That must have been so hard. I remarried and although I had a child we wanted one together. It wasn’t to be and it was so hard but I’m so glad I don’t suffer through a miscarriage. Best wishes
We lost our baby boy, Judah, at 35 weeks on Christmas Eve and it is the absolute deepest sorrow. I wish people knew that it’s okay to ask about him, even though it’s sad. I don’t think that it’s something you ‘get over’, but that you move forward with.
So sorry for your loss.
Praying for you sweet Meaghan! 🙏🏾 Take your time.
Hugs friend 💙 Judah is always with you
So sorry to read this meaghan. Thoughts with you all 💙
I'm so sorry that this happened.
We have almost a 4 year gap between #2 and #3 … It was hard Megan, I get it! I saw people have two kids before I could even have one. It’s heart breaking to hear people repeatedly say “Don’t you want more” to which I responded “We are not stopping God, if He wants to give us a baby He will.” And He did 🥰 I actually enjoy the little gap and think His timing was perfect. Because of this experience I no longer comment/question women regarding pregnancy- it’s rude and can really hurt!
I just had my #2, and there is a nearly 4 year gap between my babies also. We wanted our babies earlier in life, and closer together (we had an early miscarriage between babes), but I feel the same as you - God knows His perfect timing, and now I'm thankful for the larger gap.
Yes, it is totally rude! I felt that a little bit in the 8 months we were trying with our third.
Love this series! It's like a girl chat with your sisters 😊
That's the goal. So glad you are here ❤️
Sisters! YES!
Yes to the dating and being married young stories/tips/advice. I’m on the other side now, almost 30 myself LOL but still interested on what both of your experiences have been thus far ❤️🙏
Thank you for your openess and for sharing your perspectives on this topic. I was not taught anything from a "Christian" perspective about birthcontrol till a bit later. Wish older women had shared these things with me before I was in my twenties. And Jayna, appreciate you sharing about your misscarriage. Between my first and second child I had one and I was very similar to you in my reaction. 25 years later I still thank the Lord for His soveirgn Hand in the matter BUT also for His faithfulness in carrying me through the grieving process afterwards. I look forward to eternity w/ that baby!
You're so sweet Jayna. I really appreciated your story.
Aww thanks! So glad you are here!
Never knew the tip about ice cubes to water indoor plants!! Thanks for the tip.
Hello! Love these new talks! I’m a mom of 8, and my perspective has changed on children over the 15 years I’ve been raising them. They truly ARE a blessing from God, and should be treated as such.
Anyway, I have never been on Birth control, because of the associated risks (cancer, hormonal changes, weight gain,…) and the potential abortion of a viable baby. Thankfully, I went to Bible college for a semester (mostly a waste of money), and did a 4th year class in that semester: ethics. And we discussed BC in it. I also grew up knowing there was another baby before my big brother. I have always wondered if I have a brother or sister in heaven. And I learned as an adult, my mom has always wondered if her uninformed consumption of BC prior to her pregnancy caused the miscarriage. I knew I couldn’t live with that thought. Just a warning to anyone else who may be on the fence. Better to know people are literally living with such thoughts after miscarriage post BC than to be a un-warned and find out the hard way. Sorry if it triggers anyone, but if it saves someone grief, it’s worth it.
Your skepticism of fertility awareness methods made me chuckle. One thing I’ve learned through my 3 years of infertility is that there are MANY methods of fertility awareness. The one I’m currently using, the Creighton model, is completely based on cervical mucus observations. Fun fact, sperm can only live in the female body during the time of the month that she has fertile cervical mucus- otherwise they die within hours. And cervical mucus controls the valve of the cervix, allowing sperm to enter or not. I’m not anti birth control pill, but I love that fertility awareness can shed light on all types of hormonal imbalances and health problems instead of simply shutting down your reproductive system. Either way, thanks for promoting open dialogue. 🙂
Perfect timing for this as I’m currently going through a miscarriage. We would have been about 12 weeks along. Thank you for sharing.
Oh Savannah I’m so sorry sweetie. That’s about the time I list my baby too. I had two healthy kiddos after! I will add you to my prayers ❤️
I'm sorry for your loss 😔. You're not alone, God is with you and he will help you through this difficult time 🙏
Praying for your strength
I’m so sorry! Hugs 💙
Very very sorry for your loss, Savannah. I pray your body and heart heal. May God’s peace surround you.
Juana, thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. God bless you 🙏🏽
I love this series so much! I am unmarried and I feel like this is a trusted source with similar values for my future. Please keep this going!
I miscarried years ago and it was seriously traumatic - my heart goes out to anyone who has been through it. Even now I still think about that baby and wonder what may have been, but I'm pretty much at peace with the loss now. It just takes a lot of time and processing ...
Such an interesting conversation! I go to a Traditional Latin Roman Catholic church, and when my husband and I were taking classes with one of our priests, he wanted us to read Humanae Vitae by Pope Paul VI. It is written from the perspective Jayna was talking about, that children are a blessing from God. I loved reading it because it contained ethical/moral arguments against birth control, abortion, sterilization, etc. I know you two aren't Catholic obviously haha, but I think it is a great read for anyone regardless of their personal faith!
I hope you continue this series for a long time! Love the authenticity and willingness to dive into tough topics. You are both so sweet.
Thank you for being so open when talking about birth control. It can be a very taboo subject in many communities, but you approached the topic in a very honest and frank way. I take birth control and have taken it for many years due to PCOS and the hormonal issues associated with it. I was told hormonal birth control actually increases fertility and can cause the conception of multiples when stopped immediately before trying to conceive. In my case, that was very true. I have 5 sons, 4 of them are quadruplets that were conceived following a cycle of birth control and ovulation stimulating medications with an IUI. I also experienced an empty sac pregnancy that needed to be addressed with medications to allow my body to expel the sac since it didn't happen naturally.
Thank you so much for opening up this topic! Honest, to the point talk is so important.
I love that you do these chats, they are excellent! Soon to be a G-grandmother and a grandmother to 8 now.........so much you know now that was dark secrets never spoken about in my youth.
Love that you are so honest and open and can share the difference and respectfulness for all.
Excellent.
Blessings
I am in my 40's and my view of hormonal contraception has done a 180. When I was young, I used the pill without a thought. No medical professional took the time to explain how it works. As I became a mother of daughters and more informed on this topic, I changed my mind completely. I really feel that the Holy Spirit brought this change. One tip that I would suggest is to find a physician or midwife whose views on life align with your own if possible. This area of your life is too important to trust to just anyone. My daughter sees a physician trained in NaPro technology which values human life from conception.
That's so true! Mine has changed too. I grew up very worldly. But when I came to the Lord and really actually learned truth on hormonal birth control it is not good for me as a woman. Bc started because it was a eugenics push by Margaret Sanger to keep disabled and colored people from reproducing. That doesn't sit right with my spirit!! Evil!
I am with you Deanna! In retrospect…. I would have done differently and am encouraging my daughter differently than what I did ♥️
What sweet ladies you are to share your lives and difficult times . I’ve found in my life the suffering and loss have made me much better at understanding others and being a support to others .
You two are so adorable. I wish I had a cousin that I could chat to like this - open and honest discussion. My female cousins are all much older and live quite a distance away, and those around my age are male, so no 'lady-topics' chats there. I hope Honey I'm Homemaker is here to stay.
I really enjoy listening to your 'Honey I'm Homemaker' videos(your other ones too). Great to have on while I work and helps me work through some of my own questions❤
I’m 70 and still have tears for three babies I lost, each from different complications. I do have 3 children and 6 grands and my life is truly blessed. But those memories are always there. Back then, no one ever talked about what happened, so I grieved in silence. Oprah had a talk show one day on just this subject and my tears flowed. My sister who lived far away was also watching the show and called me. She said I never knew what to say. We had a good cry by long distance! I’m glad you can talk freely about all of this. Communication is the key. Hugs to both of you.
Another great show, I really enjoy the two of you together. I'm sorry about Jayna's miscarrieges, that is very difficult to lose a child, and I'm happy she had friends and family around her to support her.
Thank you for this very frank discussion on birth control and miscarriage. My friend's daughter miscarried last September. She is still grieving. Thank you for giving her permission to continue to do so. I found your cousin's advice on the journey of grieving to be very healthy. Her moments of grief reminds me of my own journey of the recent loss of my father.
Your cousin has become very comfortable in front of the camera very quickly, kudos to her. I look forward to your next installment. ❤❤❤
Turned this on as I was on the way to the post office to send a care package to an old friend who just lost twins. It was encouraging to hear how much this package could mean to her. ❤️
May God bless you for blessing her! Trust me, she appreciates it even if she cant find the words to tell you right now.
Wow, what timing. That is so tough.
Children are such a blessing ❤️ It was great to hear you both have such positive attitudes about children. You both are so powerful and strong. Thank you for sharing
I went off "the pill" after my second daughter was born. I had side effects such as weight gain and a serious lack of sex drive. I have been taking my temperature ever since. We had our third daughter (she was planned) and she is now 4. It has worked out so well for us and I have no desire to go back on hormonal birth control.
We heard those words from my doctor at 28 weeks and I was devastated. I have a couple of friends who’s babies would be the same age as my daughter and I love seeing them grow. It’s hard to live with the “what ifs” but I have faith maybe one day I know God has been good to us and has a greater plan but there’s not a day that goes by without me wondering how my daughter would be if she had lived… I’m so sorry for anyone else that went through this
Hugs Jayna 💙 I’ve also had multiple losses. It’s HARD 💙
The infertility/pregnancy loss community has been one of the most welcoming communities 💙
Wow I didn't think Mennonites actually were okay with birth control. This was such an interesting and informative video!
I loved this conversation. I really appreciate how you guys decided to talk about such a controversial topic as birth control. I was completely shocked and horrified when I found out the abortifacient potential of birth control. Its something we need to talk more about in the Christian community and not just blindly accept because our moms did it and pro abortion drs say its okay.
You both speak the truth with such Grace. Love the addition of Jayna to your channel Megan 🤍
Thank you for posting this video. I'm not mennonite and I live in a very different culture than you do. I'm sure you are aware but I just wanted to highlight that birth spacing is an important part of taking care of the health og both mother and child. Women need time to recover from pregnancy and child birth and children benefit from having parents that have enough resources (mentally, physically, financially) to support, take care and nurture all of them.
I'm 57 & a grandma now....we have 5 grown kiddos....totally enjoyed this!! Young women these days NEED to hear this!!🤗🙌
Its okay to not want more children. Three is my limit for my family, for my mental health and for my sanity. And thats okay and a blessing to be able to decide for yourself.
I hear you! ♥️
It’s so refreshing to see woman who value the life of the unborn .
With my first baby I went for my 11 week appointment and they couldn’t hear a heartbeat, it was the scariest moment of my life and because it was covid I was all alone. I went right to the ultrasound, praying the whole time, talking to my baby, begging them to be okay. Then on the ultrasound there she was, perfect, healthy, strong heartbeat! She’s almost 3 now!
Oh the goodness, I've been thinking about getting off of my hormonal birth control pill I've been on since a teenager after starting to listen to the Freely Rooted podcast recently. I started at episode 1 so they are definitely not current to current affairs right now. I had a discussion with my husband this afternoon about our agreement in my not taking the pill anymore based on what I'd been learning about the real nature of taking it. AND THEN for this to be your topic and for the information to all line up is so validating ! I didn't even know there was practically a movement going on right now. THANK YOU for bringing up such important, vital and timely topics!
This conversation brought up so much for me. In the spirit of not keeping this subject hidden, I'd like to share my story.
First of all, I was raised Catholic in a not particularly devout family. I struggled with questions that nobody wanted to work through with me as a child and ultimately chose not to be confirmed and have considered myself agnostic ever since. Unfortunately my mother broke my trust by trying to coerce me into being confirmed on the grounds that it would make everyone else happy, that I would be the first one in the family not to do it, and when those didn't convince me, she tried to bribe me(which I found devastatingly imoral). So when it comes to ethics and how to live a good life, I felt very much like I had to figure it out by myself.
Fast forward, my husband(who is an atheist) and I met about 9 years ago and I went on the pill. I went off a year or so before we were married and I did not have a period for 8 months. We wanted a child but 2020 was the year my grandmother died and I was stressed and in grief. 2021 I got pregnant in February and miscarried at the end of March. I was surprised how devastated I was after such a short pregnancy, but early in almost as soon as I knew I was carrying, I had a vision, I felt like I was being visited by the spirit of my child. I saw a shiny, laughing baby with golden curls and was so happy. I'm still devastated to think I will never meet this child.
After this we made a lot of decisions that would make having a child inconvenient. We sold our home and moved in with our parents(back and forth), and my husband was adamant that we not bring a screaming newborn into their homes(of course none of them felt that way but I had to respect that he felt strongly about this). So I spent the year learning about fertility and tracking my cycles and come January of this year I had very strong preovulation signs, and I badly wanted to try for a baby. We had decided to wait until we knew we would be in our new home before trying(we are building a house on farmland we bought in 2021), so my husband decided to use a barrier. I felt so strongly that we were supposed to try and guilt that I wasn't taking the opportunity that God was giving me at the time that I wept. Then in March I didn't ovulate at all and I was scared that I had missed my one opportunity. In April I had very minimal/lousy preovulation signs and I didn't think it would be worth bothering to try but my husband(ever a stickler to schedules) said we may as well try because we don't know when it will happen.... and it worked! I am not sure if there is a lesson to be learned from this, some might say that I need to learn to trust my husband more. I do feel like God brought him to me even though, maybe because, he is atheist. We obviously had a secular wedding and I know many would not consider that a marriage at all, but I do. I have struggled with trusting his judgment so if that's what I feel the lesson is maybe it is.
I am 16 weeks now, I haven't had an ultrasound but things have been good. I have definitely been more guarded this time and have not connected yet with the spirit of this child. I've been thinking a lot though about how I want to do better for my children in terms of offering them(hopefully many) principles and leadership, and I know that I need a wider community for this. I have been thinking about going to church, but I am not sure that I will ever fully believe and I don't want to feel like a fraud.
I guess I felt like sharing because I've really appreciated Jayna's perspective in this series of conversations.
Bless you both for opening yourselves up to the world in this way.
Thank you Meghan and Jayna for sharing your personal stories and offering a mature discourse about birth control and miscarriage. I’m a 39 year-old Christian mother to six living children and one in heaven. Each of our children was planned using modern natural fertility awareness methods during our thirteen year marriage. Modern fertility awareness methods are NOT, “your grandma’s Rhythm Method!” When taught and used properly, modern fertility awareness methods are just as effective as hormonal contraceptives and various barrier methods (because you will be abstaining all together during your fertile window) with none of the side effects, cost, or trips to the doctor.
It's lovely watching the two of you interact and I am so happy that your church community is able to provide you with such a feeling of support and love. I have been an avid and devoted Christian for 60 years but am currently in the process of having my faith completely deconstruct. I think the way you uplift and support for one another is so lovely and I'm glad for you both. I have at tendency at this point to be very negative about religion because I think the doctrine is so harmful and I don't like listening to you using words like "conviction" and "purpose of God" but then I realize as I listen that your faith community is such an important part of your lives and it helps you to be the wonderful persons that you are becoming. I hope you don't try and provide guidance to your younger sister as it is best she get it from a medical professional, but the two of you and your ability to interact in an honest and lovely way is heartwarming. Jayna, be careful of using your personal experience as a barometer of what is safe and what works. Natural planning does not 100% work and the purpose of marriage is not simply children. Many people cannot have children and they have not failed in achieving the purpose if they don't have them. I love what you both said about not always knowing what is true and doing what you think is best. Best to you both. You young ladies are wise beyond your years!
NFP does not work 100%, neither does HBC. If you look at the Pearl Index you will see that both work to about the same degree. People who think NFP does not work well (or even, that it does not work at all) are ill informed and just think NFP is the same as the Knaus-Ogino-Method or even the "Calendar Method" (the first only works if you have an absolutely reliable hormonal cycle and the second does not work at all). Natural Family Planning is also known as Symtothermal Method and if applied correctly, it is even safer than the pill. But its not a way to make money for Sandoz etc so its not being promoted a lot.
Symptothermal. Dont know where that p went
I’ve watched this video twice already. I thank you both from the bottom of my heart for your openness and honesty. These are very important issues for women from all walks of life. Thank you for contributing to a healthy conversation about female reproduction.
Thank you so much for sharing. I had a second trimester miscarriage a few months ago, and was blessed to actually delivery my precious baby and hold him and say goodbye. It was so healing. For me, I really wanted to talk and share about it but nobody wanted me to because it was too sad and awkward for them. I was so sad and sorrowful, but I was also so proud, I had a baby and he was perfect and he never had to face any of the trials or evils of this world. I carried him straight from earth to heaven and even though it is a deep deep hurt and ache, at the same time, I feel grateful and blessed to have had him. Dads don't often feel the pain of miscarriage in the same way that we moms do, but in my case, my husband also held him and cried over him, and was able to empathize with me, which also brought a lot of comfort. I'm so glad you shared. Thank you
Wow, what an achingly beautiful story. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for sharing.
Jayna seems like such a sweet, honest person. I love that she is sensitive to her conscience and the leading of the Holy Spirit. God is a personal God and He knows each of us individually and what is best for us and our families.
I had a miscarriage with twins at 14 weeks...I heard the awful words "there's no heartbeats". I can totally relate to how you felt, Jayna. I grieved deeply. I cried at random times when I didn't want to. Praying over a meal I would burst into tears or when I'd randomly remember they would have been 2 years old...
Over time, my heart has healed. The date of their delivery came and went this past February (9 years ago already) and I didn't cry-not because I don't care anymore or have become hard-hearted, but because complete healing has taken place. Through it all, I've learned to trust in Jesus more. I can put my arms around someone else who is suffering loss and truly know what the pain feels like. I know the fear that follows, the unbidden "what if it happens again" thoughts that sneak into your mind. But there is healing for it all in Christ and your faith can come through stronger than when you began.
Lastly, I hold my 3rd child in my arms. He's 2 months old. So sweet and perfect. My other two are 7 years old and 11. To some, they may say I'm "starting over" or the age gap between him and the others is "so big". But, don't compare your timeline to someone elses. In our mid 30's we are so glad we have another child. He's a ray of sunshine to our whole family. Another child that I have longed for. A blessing from God, a dream come true, a hope granted, a prayer answered and a desire fulfilled! Children are a blessing!!
This vid makes me want to connect with my girl cousins more! So cool to have conversations like this as older humans. The main reason why I haven’t is that we live in different cities. But that’s not really an excuse. Thanks for the inspiration Megan!
I was on the pill in my 20s - terrible - made me fat and lost my sex drive. You are both lucky it didn’t wreck you!
The method Jayna describes is basically what NFP is and what we Catholics are recommended to do whether we want to try to avoid or try to conceive (tta or ttc). It is a very central theme that attracted me about religion (being brought up atheist): openness to life.
Thank you so much for sharing about your miscarriages Jayna. I just had my 12 weeks appointment yesterday and there was no heartbeat and the ultrasound confirmed. This is my 3rd loss out of 4 pregnancies, the first two losses were at 5 and 6 weeks. With my first I felt like I was overreacting because of how sad I was. And people's comments were sometimes very unhelpful. You truly just have to grieve how you need to grieve and not let someone else tell you how. Unfortunately miscarriage is so common, yet most people still don't know how to sympathize, so I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on that. Every time I think about Jesus holding my babies for me I cry, no matter how long it's been.
I’ve suffered 3 losses, while I don’t understand why God would have me and our family to have to walk through that it definitely grew my faith in God for loving my babies even before I could meet them
This is something we as women need to be talking about across the board. No matter our background, color of our skin, religion, etc. Our physical and mental health should be of the utmost importance to us before everything else. We need to be talking to our daughters and granddaughter about this, too.
I had really bad mental health side effects from birth control. It gave me anxiety and depression and I wasn’t myself at all. I used to think it was a cure all, but it was the complete opposite for me. I am so happy for all of the women it works well for!
same, I felt bipolar on the DEPO shot.
I am a Christian and pre -children I thought I would have a big family at least 6 kids. Than after my first daughter I had severe post partum bleeding and ended up having post partum preeclampsia.I was told by my doctor that I wouldn’t necessarily have post partum preeclampsia again my next pregnancy. Three years later I had my second child and was re admitted to the hospital the night of the day I was discharged with post partum preeclampsia again , this time twice as severe. I had to make the decision not to have any more biological children and it is definitely a heartbreaking decision. I hope that my life is worth not risking and I am doing the right thing preventing future pregnancies using protection and in the future my husband is getting a vasectomy.
Jayna is a beautiful lady. I love her sharing. Thank both of you for doing this.
My thoughts and methods on birth control have changed so much over the years. I started on the pill, then used the barrier method. After our third child and one miscarriage we learned natural family planning and did that for a number of years. After a few more children we felt led to leave it completely in God's hands and let Him be the one to decide how many children we would have. But after number 8 at the age of 38 we decided that was enough and we went back to the barrier method. After 2 more miscarriages in my 40's (both surprise pregnancies) I decided I couldn't handle the rollercoaster of emotions that came with an unexpected pregnancy, learning to accept the pregnancy, and then losing the baby. My husband had a vasectomy even though that was the one thing I said we would never do. Honestly now that he is 50 and I am almost 46 we feel that it was a good decision. The most important thing I think is that couples don't decide once and for all what they want but that they stay open to how God might lead them through His word and other people they might meet, and to always be in prayer about what God wants from them regarding children.
I had 5 miscarriages and 2 miracle babies. I just had my second boy 9 days ago and I still feel a bit of sadness for my previous losses. It never fully goes away.
You are right, it doesn't go away 💔
❤️
That‘s right. The sadness will never go away completly. I had 2 miscarriages last year. But my two angel babys will always be a part of me. A good friend gave me a little bronze angel and it is so special to me.
This was beautiful ❤️ the convictions, emotions, grief, and joy. Thank you so much for sharing!
This series is such a beautiful idea. You and Jayna are helping many women. 💝💝
I love this new series you are doing. I had 4 miscarriages before i got pregnant with my now 17 yr old son. I was told it was because i was on bc. Bc messed my body up so bad that even my doctor said to stop taking it. I also have a 15 yr old son born 2 yrs after my first. Then while i was pregnant with my second my first born was diagnosed with cancer. Hubby and i decide we couldnt handle anything more and he got a vasectomy. Im grateful for my 2 wonderful blessings.
I'm past the age but listening to you talk about loss brought memories of my loss. I remember wondering why I was feeling a certain way and my doctor reminded me I was pregnant so it is normal to feel off. My husband and I talk about our loss from time to time we both believe it would have been another girl. We both know where this baby is and will see her again. I think you both sharing is important for many young ladies to perhaps ask questions they never thought of. I was also young when I married 20 21 my husband was 23. We have both changed and have grown. What a ride we have been on. I to say it has been 33 years and placing God in the center of our marriage has key. Blessings to you both.
Thank you for making this and sharing your stories! I think it's important to educate women about all the other options to family planning other than birth control, which is the only option most women know about, I think. I've been using the NFP Marquette method and I truly believe it works! I feel so much more in tune with my body and comfortable knowing I'm going about planning naturally and using the "built-in" calendar that God gave me!
Came over to listen after you mentioned about it on your last vid. Enjoyed the chat! Blessings.
I just recently had our third miscarriage a month ago and it rocked me. We have two beautiful sons Gods blessed us with as well but it’s definitely hard
amazing how different everyones perspective is,I have a 7 yr old ,4 yr old 3 yr old and a 1 yr old and I LOVE my children.however,Im so thankful for birth control and to have access to it.I was EXREMELY sick with my pregnancies and each one got worse.Iwasnt able to care for my family over my pregnancies and 3 of my babies were extremely colicy.I feel God wants me healthy and present and able to care for my family and not just "pumping out babies" because it "happens naturally". by the way, nothing prevented pregnancies for us except the pill.you name natural prevention ,we tried it.I appreciate that you arent condemning because my viewpoint is totally different and I love your channel😊my focus is on Gods will and raising my children for the Lord and not just having as many kids as possible🙂
I totally respect your stance!
My AP biology teacher used to joke "You know what you call people who use the rhythm method????? Parents!" I too was on the pill, which worked great for us, because I find bringing a life into this world and having the resources (both emotional and financial) to give that child a great life so important, that a reliable contraceptive was a must for me.
I always believe that no matter what we do to prevent anything if God wants it to happen it will. The birth control just gives you a little extra peace of mind. I’ll add you to my prayers as a mama!
@@christinalaska I appreciate your prayers!
I am loving these videos.... I feel like I'm sitting in the third chair visiting with you both!!!
I am so sorry for your loss. I have friends who have had miscarriages after going off of birth control. There is actually research that says long term usage of birth control may increase your risk of miscarriage.
I was on hormonal birth control for 10 years and came off when my husband and i wanted to start trying for a baby and that's when i stumbled upon the fertility friday podcast and natural family planning and told my husband I would prefer to never go back on birth control
Excellent conversation and openness ladies!! Bravo!!! As a Roman Catholic, our Faith is often less “direct” about such topics and often gives “rules” without explanation… not all of course, but many…. personally, it is why I feel our young adults can struggle in having the necessary discussions to make their choices. I hope you are typical of your community. What wonderful examples of the blessing it is to be a woman, wife, married and single. Thank you for sharing.
May God’s Purpose always be evident to you in even the most difficult and challenging of times. May He comfort you all when His Wisdom is beyond human understanding. May the heavenly babies rejoice as they can love and comfort their families from paradise.
God bless ❤️🙏🏻 see you soon.
Roman Catholic here too… actually, our faith is very direct about these things. Birth Control is a huge no as it frustrates God’s creative plans. Humane Vitae is a very well known encyclical that explains it in case you would like to explore further.
@@atroy1983 thank you.
So nice listening to your stories! I've never had any hormones and people don't understand my reasons and I think it's really hard to talk about too. You inspire me all the way to the Sweden thank you ❤️
Great girl talk! I listen to it while cleaning my house :)
Love to hear a respectful conversation about your personal convictions about birth control and your experiences with it. Also a very lovely conversation about family and loss. 💕
I appreciate the gentleness with which you approached grief🙏🏻
I come from a totally different culture, I am not religious at all, but I do love your videos Megan, and especially this new serie.
I also stopped using the pill a few years ago it, it was a mutual decision with my partner and I feel so much better now, we still don't have kids but use other methods until we are ready to have a family.
And thank you Jeyna for talking so openly about your miscarriage, it is so important to share stories like yours so it is talked more and more without shame.
Beautiful discussion. Honest and down to earth. Love listening to you. Thank you so much for sharing personal experiences that are hard to talk about. Hugs and prayers ❤️
You ladies are so much fun together! It's obvious you are dear friends as well as cousins. What a blessing you are being to young women and not so you women. I'm 72yrs old & a Grammy, I had 2 miscarriages between my two daughters. This would have been around 1975 or 76. I was about 6wks pregnant the 1st one and then 8wks the 2nd one. Of course this was before the wonderful pregnancy tests available to women today. It was really hard to deal with the sadness I felt. Everyone acted like it wasn't a big deal even my OBGYN. My husband felt bad for me & sad for our loss but his hormones weren't going crazy either. I'm so thankful that people actually understand how important it is to support women who are dealing with miscarriages. I know I will see my babies in heaven. Thanks for sharing your lives with us. From Texas