AITA for leaving my partner’s family reunion without wa@ning after he (33m) failed to tell me...
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ก.ย. 2024
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Story Name: AITA for leaving my partner’s family reunion without wa@ning after he (33m) failed to tell me (33f) we were having professional family photos taken?
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I’m not gonna overreact and say to leave him, but threaten it. Tell him how angry he makes you and tell him you’re actually thinking about it, decide from there based on how he reacts if he’s even sorry. If he blames you.. you might know what to do.
Never threaten to do anything you're not willing to truly do. Don't forget to add that when you tell someone to threaten something.
This is why you don't get your life entangled with the life of someone you are not married to. And why did she let that happen when this isn't the first time he's failed to prepare her for whatever activity? It was clear to me at the beginning of this story that they just aren't compatible. He doesn't care enough about her to make an effort to inform her of the things that she feels she needs to prepare for. He has this "I'm ok with it so you should be too" attitude. That's not how being a partner or spouse works. I was hoping calling him her "partner" meant they weren't married and she could easily leave him, but now she has to untangle everything. She needs to get a lawyer and get to work on that because this guy is not going to change.
Can you explain why it would be any different if they were married? Because I don’t understand what that has to do with it
@@ButchPleaseImFabulous A spouse has certain legal rights that a partner does not.
Well considering she was on the go for multiple days unend no shizz she didn't think of asking.
@@babyfaceweeb8937 I think you misunderstood when I asked why she let that happen. I was referring to getting her finances and life entangled with his. I completely understand that the circumstances of her work, as well as different expectations of a beach house vacation, leading to her not thinking to ask first.
She should have had to ask anyway. This was a vacation with his family and he should have known and informed her what the expectations were. This wasn't the first time though, and based on his reaction this time, it won't be the last time he does this to her either, if she stays. She needs to get out of that relationship asap.
I hear you and I understand your frustration, but after listening to the stressful time you had previously to the lake trip, you should have cancelled going and stayed home and caught up on some needed sleep. It was his family reunion not yours. You needed some selfcare and that's why your fuse was short; you were absolutely worn out. Also, your partner doesn't give a sh*t about you. A loving man would have done so much more seeing what you had gone through with work and the extensive back and forth travel to your home state. He is not a keeper.
NTA - stop giving people telling you otherwise the time of day here. You have set reasonable boundries. He's gaslighting your boundries. Then speaking down to you when caught up breaking those boundries. Go to couples and start withdrawing yourself from the relationship if your needs aren't being met. This isn't a small thing for you that he does 1 or 2 times. You said he does this regularly. If he wanted to meet you half way he could setup an google ical with event information and you can regularly check it. There's a lot of options if he's not a remember type or a talking he's not even making an effort. Worst yet he's not making an effort and embarssing you in front of others. Then throwing fits when you call him on the thing you ask him not to do on repeat. Just prep for the worst and go through steps. If he makes an effort to change but messses up from time to time. That's forgiveable but it sounds like he's not making an effort at all right now.
he failes to tell you even the most basic of information you need, blames it on you and accuses you of being controlling, you can tell him he either starts acting like a sane adult or youre leaving bc this is not a healthy relationship if this carries one.
or you can just leave him now and get it over with, thats up to you
Why bleep out the word ‘warning’?
Seriously. TH-cam's audio censor bot safety precautions are getting weirder and weirder.
i think it's an engagement ploy. They do it with most videos and each time someone asks about it lol. it just means get more comments so their videos will reach a wider audience.
This kind of stuff is a total blind spot for guys and i can see why he still didn't get it after being told.
Neither one gets the others point of view on this very gendered divide. Now it comes down to their conflict resolution skills which don't look great.
I can understand that he (and many other men) might not consider it upfront. But the fact that he couldn’t understood it after it was explained is troubling to me. This is assuming that it was calmly and thoroughly explained. If he STILL doesn’t understand the situation, how can similar things be prevented in the future?
@@Artsloverinlr the same way many women don't understand men's problems when it's explained. There are societal and family expectations of the genders that differ and society doesn't allow it to be discussed honestly in public. This means both sides are setup to misunderstand each other from the get go. Even good communication can't overcome both sides being misinformed.
Tbh, I would agree with you but she's told him to tell her stuff before. So, as a man wouldn't you just mention everything to be on the safer side. Some guys are like this, my Husband is great though - gives me a heads up on everything.
@@uok6216 guys don't see things like this as a big deal so they don't think about it and wouldn't think the woman would care either. He forgets to tell her since he didn't care about pictures and when it comes up at the lake house he thinks she looks good wearing anything (that's my guess cause I've been there). Some guys know better or don't forget the small stuff like your husband so they can communicate it.
Guys have been specifically told by society that women's appearance doesn't mean much anymore. They'll have no clue why the problem they didn't care about in the first place is supposed to matter.
I feel like, "guys are different" is a lame excuse. I'm sure he packed picture-ready clothing for himself but couldn't warn her? He's just a selfish jerk.
NTA for wanting to leave, but YTA for just ghosting everyone with no heads up, which is pretty childish and rude to the in-laws, who are blameless.
I don't think that was childish. Her bf clearly needs to learn how to explain important things. He can start by explaining why she was gone. Lol!
If she knows that her partner is blind to this why not speak to the mom, sisters, any female relative and ask what the weekend plans are.
They know him. They'll understand why shes asking them.
Its that easy.
She shouldn't have to. As a partner, he supposed to have her back, he doesn't. She needs to think hard about this relationship. Will he be like this in the future if you have children, more job responsibilities?
....or she can leave him.
If you were just a girlfriend, I wouldn’t expect you to get in family photos. You’re not family.
Yata
yeah... total drama queen