Its proably she (The OP's Mother in law) understand that her son is did what happened when his mom giving birth to him, leaving them and not even paying child support, so she don't let it the same thing happens to her daughter in law and decides to side with her instead of siding with a son who is just like his "father"
what gets me is that he admits she made it out like she was on death's door...yet when he got there, wasn't it obvious that she wasn't? And stayed for a week even after finding out she lied?
@@gwdzeethat's because he is still in love with her, but she doesn't want him, and doesn't want him with anyone else. His wife is about to give birth and he shuts his phone off. Who does that? She deliberately told Op that they kissed, really a whole week, and they just kissed. While he said nothing happened. She is letting Op know that they had sex without saying it.
Valerie could have called another friend, the minute he left for the airport the marriage would be over for me. I don't care if they slept together or not , leaving his wife while she's due to give birth would be a deal breaker for me.
Why even have a partner if they aren't there for the most important parts of your life? Cheating doesn't matter. Just leaving was enough to end the relationship.
Australia is pretty big. In the entire country she didn’t have any friends? I called bs. The only thought I had was that Valerie actually had his child years before and needed him to meet before she died. It was a thought, not a good one, just a thought.
The fact the EX went out of her way to even tell OP that they had kissed shows that she really wasn't all that sorry they were breaking up. Like she could taken that to the grave. Plus the fact she tried to turn things around on her, saying you should have let him be who wanted etc.
Honestly, she could put that in the divorce papers as cheating because the ex clearly didn’t care about being a homewrecker, she just wanted to show OP that she still have him wrapped around her finger and that’s gonna be the final nail in the coffin for him.
Regardless of the circumstances with Valerie's cancer diagnose Jeremy can't escape the fact he deliberately turned off his phone and didn't call his pregnant wife for an entire week. So he wanted to be with his ex uninterrupted. This proves he has more feelings for Valerie than OP. Anyway, no sane man would leave his heavily pregnant wife even if there was an emergency somewhere else. At least not when you can't be back with your wife within a few hours. Jeremy could easily have supported Valerie over the phone or Skype. He didn't have to show up in person. He even was with her for an entire week without once contacting his wife. So OP has every reason to believe he cheated on her. What Jeremy did was despicable and he deserves being divorced. OP should get parental rights with Jeremy only visitation rights. He abandoned his wife just before the delivery. He didn't even bother to ensure somebody was with her to get her to the hospital. Fortunately OP had a MIL who stepped in for her son and did his work. She will be a great support for OP and her daughter in the years to come.
My husband’s grandma had a stroke about 2 weeks before my due date. I gave him my blessing to go be with her (she lived in another state that would’ve involved a plane ride) but he refused to go. Said as much as he loved his grandma, he was needed at home more. She was in the hospital with the people she needed. 5 days after our daughter was born, she died. He’s said he doesn’t regret his decision to stay with me but a part of me still feels awful that he never got the chance to say goodbye. Our daughter was born about a week early so if he’d gone, he probably would’ve missed her birth and that was just unacceptable to him. I feel so badly for all the women in this situation. Men should care about the families they’re creating
@@floggednflankednfl.3277 actually, it is a thing of the United states. It just means that you don't know how to approach it. You can actually tell the judge that you would like the parental rights of the other parent to be terminated because they're going to be an unfit parent. People have absolutely lost their parental rights because their true colors showed in court and the judge understood immediately that the person was not fit to be a parent and the person being around the child would have a negative impact on the child, if not make shared custody of the child impossible. In this particular case, his choosing to not be there for the birth of the child is going to be weighed against him. His admission that he had cheated on his wife while she was giving birth is going to be used against him. The message from Valerie is going to be used against him the fact that all of these people who have messaged her can be pulled in as Witnesses and the messages pulled from their phones, is going to be used against him. So yes, just telling the judge that you don't like the other parent won't get that parents parental rights terminated. But most people tend to have a valid reason for why they don't like the other parents, and that reason or reasons can often be roped under the same umbrella of being an unfit parent
@@floggednflankednfl.3277you can if you can prove they’re unreliable and the child won’t be safe with them. He left knowing his wife was due any day and TURNED OFF HIS PHONE. Imagine if Valerie needs something and he ignores his kid to go save her. That won’t look good for him in court.
He left you once he’ll do it again. I wouldn’t trust him as far as I can throw him. His ex was most likely not terminally ill. No don’t trust him ever with your child. Go home with your parents take the baby with you. He is trying to wear you down. Move on just because he is persistent doesn’t make him trustworthy. He brought in the flying monkeys to bombard you with guilt. Turn off your computer after you post about him leaving you when you were about to give birth.
Not only that, but given his attitude, he's not safe to have around the kid because he would absolutely abandon the kid the first time Valerie beckons him, although I also wouldn't put it past him to take the kid with him just to spite OP.
Since he wasn't concerned with your safety or the safety of y'alls child, he left you when any type of complication could have occurred. He did this once & will do it Again. 🐍👿Valerie will soon be his wife & your child will NOT be verbally, emotionally or physically safe anywhere near that woman!!! Your Mother-In-Law is wonderful and she sees the future danger just as you do! If they cheated or put someone ahead of you & your children once, they will do it over & over again!!!!😠😤🤬🤬🤬🤬👿
Leaving him was the ONLY thing she could have done. Any man who would abandon his pregnant wife for an ex-girlfriend doesn't deserve to have OP as his wife. Any man who would willfully miss his child's birth doesn't deserve the chance to be a father. What's going to happen if Valerie gets a hangnail right before his child's birthday party? What if she stubs her toe right before his child's highschool graduation?
I will never understand why people cheat then coming crying and begging hoping their relationship doesn’t end. Did they actually think there would be no consequences?
It takes a strong woman to admit that they been wrong. Yes, wrong about her choice of a partner. He was callous and disrespectful towards you and your child. He can go and hold his girlfriend’s hands, platonically, of course. You my dear deserve, love, full support and everlasting partnership. He is not yours and never was. Take your time. You are very vulnerable right now. Take the time to deal with your hormones as your baby is the most important person in your life right now. Think happy thoughts while taking care of her. Babies do feel their mother’s emotions. Your MIL rocks. 😂👏👏👏👏♥️♥️
He blocked his pregnant wife about to be in labor for five days while taking a trip out of town to support his ex. He didn't even answer the calls from his own mother at the hospital after his child was born. Hello!! He does not care. What if, God forbid, the mother or the child had medical complications during or after birth, he would not have known or wanted to even know because his phone was off. Hello!!
The marriage was over before he stepped on the plane, she just didnt know it. He was already betraying her by keeping in touch. She should move far away from that scumbag. No man worth anything leaves his pregnant wife alone near her due date. She shoukd sue both for emotional distress. Jeremy is not worth thecair he breathes.
That is not fair to the child medically, emotionally and legally. All children need to know who their Actual Biological Parents are. There may be some inherited medical problems and the information is needed. Legitimate children automatically have a right of inheritance to their parents estate and it also establishes documentation of parenty for illegitimate children.😮
@@noneofu9810 No, they don't need to know their biological father if he is a stinker. Children born with donated sperm from a sperm bank NEVER know who their bio father is (it is part of the sperm donation process--no paternity rights) and they manage just fine without their knowing who is the bio father. The cancer tendencies that can be inherited genetically are ones that women get from their mothers so bio inheritance from the father is less important. And there are DNA tests now for those genes.
Couldn’t him not being there for the birth and going to Australia consider , Abandoning? Him kissing his ex for a few minutes and he said he couldn’t continue doesn’t sound like loyalty; He left his pregnant wife to be with his ex. Instead of playing these mind games with OP why couldn’t the ex just say how she really felt and have the man decide. What did he expect OP was going to do when he came back, forgive and forget? He may never loved OP as much as he did for his ex, but his daughter will know the truth why her parents aren’t together, bc daddy had something more important to tend to than to witness the birth of their child.
Sorry op. Move away. Please let mother inlaw see your daughter. Mother inlaw is amazing. Poor mother inlaw son turned out to be a dead beat like his father.
And the fact so many friends went along with it. I mean they probably don't know the full story but I would at least question it when a friend of mine would want me to send those texts. But that might just be me considering my mother taught me to hear both sides before making up my mind. Poor OP that no one asked for her side 😢.
The worst part is he never answered his phone or kept in contact.She or the baby could have died.What would have happened if his mother had not been available.Not many mothers would turn against their son unless his behaviour was disgusting.
Valerie didn't have other friends? Closer co workers? A damn dog? Please. Also if he wants to be a father he would have stayed to be one. He would have been there to watch his kid come into the world, hold her, cut the umbilical cord. He went there to get his pee pee wet by some old thang he wanted back. He doesn't have anywhere to go. That's why he's asking for his family back. Most likely slept with ole girl multiple times and felt guilty after he did it and thought about his family. If he wants to be a daddy he can get Valerie pregnant and live with her and raise their kid.
Leave this man ASAP and file for full custody! This man is clearly a fool, not to see through his ex’s BS. She clearly did this to destroy their marriage, all because you took her backup plan. He showed you where his loyalty is.
so hubby was a dead beat dad out of the gate. he didnt care how she felt on delivery week. he doesnt care about how op feels with his friends bombardment . what did he tell op when she said dont go? deal with it. sounds like he should eat his own words. i hope op trust the actions of her STBXH and not his words. he is repeatedly boundary stomping....just like his ex
Should have answered the mean texts from his friends with “so you think it is okay for him to hook up with his ex and abandon you when you’re having a baby.” I’ll bet he never told the whole story to his friends.
Shared custody? So hin can tell your daighter how bad you are?or worst? The problem with him have other children and dont give hrr atention? She dont know man .and how they donr care about child of ex
Jeremy could have said he couldn't go but that one of their close friends could try to be with her. No only did he betray his wife but also his mother, who had been through the same situation, but raised him with love and a home. He turned out just like his abandoning father. What a douche.
"Valerie said she doesn't want to be a homewrecker"... yes she does. That whole message was to drive them further apart, not try to fix anything. Otherwise, she wouldn't have shared about their "moment" and the kiss. She deliberately gave OP ago for the divorce and full custody... Valerie doesn't want to raise that kid! She knew exactly what she was doing.
If his friends were friends, they would have told him how wrong he was AND Valarie for calling him.....they had a group of them. They shave helped him get it together and not bombard the aggrieved party with texts and emails. Smh. Valarie was full of junk, and I would have told her about herself.
Even if the visit was purely platonic (which I'm betting it wasn't). Even if he felt no romantic feelings for Valerie anymore (still betting bs on this). He made his priorities perfectly clear and it wasn't OP. Nor was it the baby. It was Valerie.
As soon as the flying monkeys started then all doubt should have gone. And OP should let him know that she had been considering taking him back until that point.
OP, NEEDS to go for full custody and go for supervised visitation, not joint custody because he hasn’t proven he is worthy or capable of it. He neglected his daughter BEFORE her birth leaving his heavily pregnant wife to be with his ex, obviously prioritizing his ex who “needed him.” He’s a POS for getting his friends on the bandwagon in a manipulation tactic to get OP to bend/compromise to get his way. He played the victim when he was not. If OP bends, she shouldn’t do so to near the extent she is and going for full custody w/ supervised visitation. The ex should only have two options the very limited compromise, or he sign over his rights because he has to prove though action he can be deserving of joint custody. When this goes to mediation or court, it will not play in his favor because he literally abandoned his family he supposedly wants. Custody arrangements can be renegotiated and changed later on. OP is not using the daughter as a pawn. She’s doing what’s necessary and in the best interest of the child so one parent isn’t failing her. OP’s ex give the vibe that he will continue to neglect his daughter because he doesn’t have his priorities straight. I guarantee OP’s MIL along with her parents will testify on her behalf. Thank goodness his mom isn’t siding with the son that’s clearly in the wrong. B I hope she takes time to heal and finds someone truly deserving of her when she’s ready.
Yeah, a parent just doesn't back down because of some people who doesn't care about you 'think' you are a meanie. It's your child. You gave birth and have been there for her.
I'd reply "when your in labour and your husband is ignoring you and spending a week with their ex who they know is a sore spot for you then you can say something about my situation. He showed me she means more to him then me and his daughter and actions have consequences. I refuse to be a doormat" then ignore.
Tell them all to go away. Ask them where they were when you needed him. Tell them all that you're fed up with speaking as if you're a broken record. (Older people will know what I mean!)
I am old enough. Yes, damage to the grooves on a record could skip the same passage endlessly. Not the tapes but the old LPs and the small ones with one song per side.
HAHAH! Girl i feel bad you had to go through having the baby by yourself. When you both started dating and he said she is my first love and I still keep in touch with her was your way to leave but no you stayed so that's on you.
OP, you are not the AH, but your husband is. He made a decision to leave you the day after your due date to fly to frigging Australia to be with his ex-girlfriend because she was diagnosed with stage 2 brain cancer. Well, if she actually had brain cancer I can tell you that stage 2 is bad, but she was not yet on her death bed. My mother was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer, and she chose not to have anything other than hospice treatment. She actually lived for another 3 months, and she didn't actually get to the point where she was totally out of it until the last 3 weeks of her life. So, your husband had time to see his daughter born, if he had given a flying f*(k about you and his daughter. Your husband decided that his ex was more important than you or his daughter. In fact, at the time he left you both you and your chlid were probably at higher risk of dying right then, since childbirth is still considered a life-threatening situation for mothers and children even in this day and age. Given you had never had a child before there is no telling what might have happened unexpectedly. He made a clear cut decision about who was most important in his life, and honey it wasn't you or your daughter. Thank heavens your MIL was there with you and was so supportive. It says something to me that in her mind she did not even cut him a bit of slack about his decision to leave you to face the birth of your daughter by yourself. Your MIL is totally right about you divorcing, terminating parental rights and getting the child support. I think your husband needs to go back to the woman he left you for, and you need to find yourself a real man.
I really really REALLY hope OP goes for full custody with supervised visits, because going off his behaviour over being divorced and told he wouldn't be getting custody, I genuinely believe this man would, at best, fill the kid's head with vitriol towards OP and, at worst, disappear with the kid, just to hurt OP.
Question: do you want him to take your daughter to Australia on one of his days of custody? So it is better that narcissist should have no parental rights
Girl, go after your ex-husband's ex- girlfriend and sue her for all she's got. She's a homewrecker and she needs to be punished. she destroyed your husband's chance at being a father and for all intents and purposes, tell him: "he can damn well see his daughter when she graduates HIGH SCHOOL" and then get a full RO on him until then!!
More than not being there he TURNED OFF HIS PHONE so much could have happened he left her alone and turned off his phone that says more than anything my husband missed the birth of our first child due to being injured in a car accident on his way to the hospital he called my mom to come to me the video called me so he could be there as much as possible that is care that is love he found a way
I can't believe she still consider allowing him to see her daughter after everything he has done... She's already failing her daughter by considering allowing him in her life.
@@juliaalexander5788 As well as obligations. He already failed his daughter before she was even born. You want him to fail her again when she will be able to be sad about it ? He skipped her birth for something else, what's next ? Skipping her birthdays ? Her school events ? Her graduation ? And look at how he acted all along, harassing OP, making his friends and even his "ex" harass OP. He cheated on the kid's mother while she was giving birth. Do you think he's worthy to be in the kid's life ? The kid will be better without this piece of shit around.
@Kal_57 if he's in America he still has rights, for better or worse, unless he signs his rights away. There's a reason some feel people should have some kind of test to be parents, but he has to right to the opportunity to fulfill those obligations. I know several guys who suck at romantic partnership but are fantastic fathers
@@juliaalexander5788 This is beyond sucking at being romantic partner, his daughter was born and he didn't come to see her in the hospital because he had his ex to bang. He spent the whole week and more because his ex is more important then his daughter.
You need to change your phone number immediately and SUE him for harassment and emtional distress. Take FULL custody of your baby and have his parental rights terminated. Later, you can always let him see the baby, if you want, but not for now. His behavior 26:00 does not warrant any visitation. He should know you need peace and quiet after giving birth, so him getting everybody and his brother to constantly harass you shows that he is NOT a decent person. He seems to have overlooked the fact that he created on his pregnant wife, emotionally at the very least!!! Leaving his overdue wife to rush to the side of his so-called ex-GF. What kind of man does that?!? He has not shown one ounce of concern for his daughter. BTW, is Valerie dead yet?
No, most likely she has developed postpartum depression with the pregnancy hormones and her husband leaving her to run to his ex. That would make any pregnant woman see red and get depressed cause the only person she had to support her left her to deal with the delivery by herself. Her dilemma was whether to allow him any kind of custody of the baby. In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say screw him, but would it affect her child in the long run? I would say screw you, you are not a good father because you left when “we” needed you. He said the ex didn’t have family close by to help her, but neither did OP. Luckily she did have a caring MIL, but she’s not OP’s mother.
You are also just exhausted after giving birth and starting to breast feed, let alone the hormones. I was nearly hysterical with fatigue the first week.
@@stirrednotshaken4823 "He said the ex didn’t have family close by to help her, but neither did OP. Luckily she did have a caring MIL, but she’s not OP’s mother." And that's my issue, he didn't care that his wife and future child were almost alone, but was extremely concerned with his ex? Also, as you know that as safe as giving birth is today ( excluding the complicated cases), things can turn to the worst doing birth, and he wasn't there to support her because another person took priority over her and child. Is that really a person she can rely to be there for her and their child in the future?
Get a protective order against this disloyal individual. Regardless of his actions AND those of his flying monkeys if OP associates with him even in the least nothing good will come of it.
Jeremy somehow "forgot" that his first priority was to his pregnant wife. And his soon-to-be child. Not his ex. This isn't punishment, its the consequences of his choices and the harassment of OP just shows how little he cares about either of them. Oh and OP should have a clause in any custody agreement that prevents him from taking their daughter oyt of the country without OP's permission (so she doesn't end up in Australia). That Valerie is a piece if work, too. I think she meant to hammer the last nail into the coffin of tbat marriage with ger message to OP.
My wife is divorcing me because i chose my ex over being there for the birth of my child, i'm sure getting everyone i know to harass her will change her mind... God he's a special kind of pos
So, he sends people to bully her! So when the daughter decides not to do what he wants is he going to bully her the same way?! I would tell them to back off. Or block them. It's not their business. Did any of them offer to step up in his place. Hell no! Block them honey. That poor baby girl needs drama less parenting.
“I don’t want to be a homewrecker!” Then why did you act like one? Also, if he was TRULY loyal, the kid wouldn’t have lasted more than half a second. Even if she surprised him, if he was genuinely loyal, he would have pushed her away IMMEDIATELY, not kiss her back or let it happen for several minutes.
If I have a bf who’s still friends with the ex and the ex still have feelings by making jokes.. I would automatically leave/break up. Homeboy you have lingering baggage. Peace out ✌️
Op started dating a man with obvious red flags. Keeping the guy in touch with his ex, letting the ex badmouth OP. OP should've run the moment she met her hubbie's ex and never married him.
It wouldn’t matter if anything happened or not. He chose to be with an ex over you, for a whole week, while you were due to deliver. He absolutely had something going on and if not he threw his wife over for nothing.
Oh he had tears in his eye! Bo-ho...poor baby. Remember, she was at the end of her pregnancy and he was not getting any....you know...😺. So he visited his ex to get some....😺.
I would have sent a message back and said you have other friends. I NEEDED him. My daughter needed him. I am sorry you are going through that. I really am. But you made sure that you surrounded us with all your friends when you were being rude to me. But did you ask anyone them first? Or heaven forbid you contact me and ask me. I could have expressed how terrified I was to give birth without him. I could have died, my daughter could have died and he wasn't here. Put yourself in my place. You were not going to die in a week. You could have waited.
It rose not matter if it was platinic or not he left you in your time of need he endangered your child he prioritisesed her over you and your daughter. His first act as a father was to not be their he dudnt just abandon you he abonded your child. What if something had gone wrong what if your mil hadnt stepped in to support you. What if the stress had caused an issue that killed you or your child. He not only dose not deserve to be in your childs life he is a danger.
Even though he was very, very wrong in his actions your daughter will resent you blocking her father from her life. A two year old is unlikely to feel comfortable with a stranger turning up and declaring fatherhood.
That's harassment. Show them all to your lawyer. He is harassing you by mob media. Use that to help you with your case. That would make me dig harder into taking his rights away.
OMG this is just sad 1 grow a spine and think about your child no yourself 2 you know what he did to you think it will be different for your child 3 read what you wrote here if that is not enough for you to decide then take him back and have a crappy life and hope your child does not suffer from her fathers selfish ways it is just sad a thirtysomething can not make a decision
Leave him yess, but share custody you can not use the child as punishment... Youre. Daughter will resent you because yes he is a whole but that does not mean he doesnt deserve his child in his life
A month before birth and after, you should never go anywhere further than your everyday routine. And i bet he spent that week doing much more than kissing valerie that one time
"He didn't allow it to last more than a couple minutes" So, he allowed the kiss to last a couple minutes. A man who loves and honors his wife wouldn't have tolerated even a fraction of a second of that moment; OP's ex is not a man.
I would hardly want advice from an EX on how to keep my man happy. Especially someone who has to play the "Im dying card" to get his attention. I'm a smartass and super quick on my feet with sassy retorts when the climate calls for it, and I would've schooled her on how I keep him happy. Of course, if he had left me and went to her when I was having our kid, he would've come home to changed locks and all of his stuff on the porch with all of the crotches cut from all of his pants and undies since he enjoys sharing that area with others so much, along with divorce papers. No convo needed.
You know the concerning part is not the ex-girlfriend the concerning part is op that she was allowing this situation throughout their relationship and still end up getting pregnant by this bum. And honestly that's basically what she needed to do just deal with it because you've been dealing with it this whole time by allowing the ex(maybe) front row seat in your relationship. I've had three children and not once did these pregnancy hormones set for some reason this generation keeps using as excuses to either be needy or irresponsible or just plain nasty.
Even his mother isn't buying his bullshit. That's when you know it's bad.
Its proably she (The OP's Mother in law) understand that her son is did what happened when his mom giving birth to him, leaving them and not even paying child support, so she don't let it the same thing happens to her daughter in law and decides to side with her instead of siding with a son who is just like his "father"
The husband shouldn’t have done what he did in the first place.
He shouldn't have, but it just shows his real character... No need to hide the toxicity.
He was doing his ex.
INEXCUSABLE AND NOW HE FAFO!
She was the back up it seems sadly.
Props to the MIL. Finally a MIL who is an advocate for daughter in law
Of course she is. She had just seen her son turn into his father. She had to be so disapointed in him for that part alone.
I bet his ex didn't even have cancer. And I bet they didn't "just kiss" either.
So the excuse was “we just kissed for a few minutes but it’s okay because we stopped”? How does that make any sense? Valerie and OPs ex are trash.
through and through trash shame he came from such a sweet Mother but he chose to be scum now he can enjoy the trash he chose too!
It's the first trickle of the trickle truthing that he thought he was going to get to do. OP put an end to that. Plan B, a spam campaign 😂 wtf?
It wasn't a few min and she had been contacting each other the whole time
Part if me thinks Valerie said that on purpose to make OP furious becuase she still isnt over this dumbass.
platonic my ass. a week with his ex? he was cheating.
Most likely she didn’t have a brain cancer at all!
@@Tla81unfortunately
Omg 😆
You were thinking it
But you said it
(White Chicks laugh) Ha ha ha ha
what gets me is that he admits she made it out like she was on death's door...yet when he got there, wasn't it obvious that she wasn't? And stayed for a week even after finding out she lied?
@@gwdzeethat's because he is still in love with her, but she doesn't want him, and doesn't want him with anyone else. His wife is about to give birth and he shuts his phone off. Who does that? She deliberately told Op that they kissed, really a whole week, and they just kissed. While he said nothing happened. She is letting Op know that they had sex without saying it.
It is amazing that your mother in law was an amazing support. You both are amazing women.
Jeremy is a jerk. Mother in law is a hero. Poor OP.
Valerie could have called another friend, the minute he left for the airport the marriage would be over for me. I don't care if they slept together or not , leaving his wife while she's due to give birth would be a deal breaker for me.
Why even have a partner if they aren't there for the most important parts of your life? Cheating doesn't matter. Just leaving was enough to end the relationship.
Australia is pretty big. In the entire country she didn’t have any friends? I called bs. The only thought I had was that Valerie actually had his child years before and needed him to meet before she died. It was a thought, not a good one, just a thought.
The fact the EX went out of her way to even tell OP that they had kissed shows that she really wasn't all that sorry they were breaking up. Like she could taken that to the grave. Plus the fact she tried to turn things around on her, saying you should have let him be who wanted etc.
You just know the husband probably begged her to tell his wife nothing happened.
Honestly, she could put that in the divorce papers as cheating because the ex clearly didn’t care about being a homewrecker, she just wanted to show OP that she still have him wrapped around her finger and that’s gonna be the final nail in the coffin for him.
Regardless of the circumstances with Valerie's cancer diagnose Jeremy can't escape the fact he deliberately turned off his phone and didn't call his pregnant wife for an entire week. So he wanted to be with his ex uninterrupted. This proves he has more feelings for Valerie than OP.
Anyway, no sane man would leave his heavily pregnant wife even if there was an emergency somewhere else. At least not when you can't be back with your wife within a few hours.
Jeremy could easily have supported Valerie over the phone or Skype. He didn't have to show up in person. He even was with her for an entire week without once contacting his wife. So OP has every reason to believe he cheated on her.
What Jeremy did was despicable and he deserves being divorced. OP should get parental rights with Jeremy only visitation rights. He abandoned his wife just before the delivery. He didn't even bother to ensure somebody was with her to get her to the hospital.
Fortunately OP had a MIL who stepped in for her son and did his work. She will be a great support for OP and her daughter in the years to come.
My husband’s grandma had a stroke about 2 weeks before my due date. I gave him my blessing to go be with her (she lived in another state that would’ve involved a plane ride) but he refused to go. Said as much as he loved his grandma, he was needed at home more. She was in the hospital with the people she needed. 5 days after our daughter was born, she died. He’s said he doesn’t regret his decision to stay with me but a part of me still feels awful that he never got the chance to say goodbye. Our daughter was born about a week early so if he’d gone, he probably would’ve missed her birth and that was just unacceptable to him. I feel so badly for all the women in this situation. Men should care about the families they’re creating
No custody for Jeremy. Fight for the termination of his parental rights or else Valerie's gonna be your daughter's stepmama!
Think the same.he is going tô cause só much trauma tô this child. He can shaming her mother. The child ia going só bad
That's not a thing in the US. Can't take kids away because you don't like the other parent.
@@floggednflankednfl.3277 actually, it is a thing of the United states. It just means that you don't know how to approach it. You can actually tell the judge that you would like the parental rights of the other parent to be terminated because they're going to be an unfit parent. People have absolutely lost their parental rights because their true colors showed in court and the judge understood immediately that the person was not fit to be a parent and the person being around the child would have a negative impact on the child, if not make shared custody of the child impossible. In this particular case, his choosing to not be there for the birth of the child is going to be weighed against him. His admission that he had cheated on his wife while she was giving birth is going to be used against him. The message from Valerie is going to be used against him the fact that all of these people who have messaged her can be pulled in as Witnesses and the messages pulled from their phones, is going to be used against him. So yes, just telling the judge that you don't like the other parent won't get that parents parental rights terminated. But most people tend to have a valid reason for why they don't like the other parents, and that reason or reasons can often be roped under the same umbrella of being an unfit parent
@@floggednflankednfl.3277even if not on the birth certificate? Genuine question
@@floggednflankednfl.3277you can if you can prove they’re unreliable and the child won’t be safe with them. He left knowing his wife was due any day and TURNED OFF HIS PHONE. Imagine if Valerie needs something and he ignores his kid to go save her. That won’t look good for him in court.
He left you once he’ll do it again. I wouldn’t trust him as far as I can throw him. His ex was most likely not terminally ill. No don’t trust him ever with your child. Go home with your parents take the baby with you. He is trying to wear you down. Move on just because he is persistent doesn’t make him trustworthy. He brought in the flying monkeys to bombard you with guilt. Turn off your computer after you post about him leaving you when you were about to give birth.
He was so cheating with his ex
Not only that, but given his attitude, he's not safe to have around the kid because he would absolutely abandon the kid the first time Valerie beckons him, although I also wouldn't put it past him to take the kid with him just to spite OP.
Stage 2 cancer isn't terminal, stage 4 is terminal. Stage 2 is treatable and people can survive it with proper treatment.
@@DJ-ri7me Stage nothing is also not terminal, and that is what she has- no cancer.
Since he wasn't concerned with your safety or the safety of y'alls child, he left you when any type of complication could have occurred. He did this once & will do it Again. 🐍👿Valerie will soon be his wife & your child will NOT be verbally, emotionally or physically safe anywhere near that woman!!! Your Mother-In-Law is wonderful and she sees the future danger just as you do!
If they cheated or put someone ahead of you & your children once, they will do it over & over again!!!!😠😤🤬🤬🤬🤬👿
Didn't he say he would accept any punishment? Did he lie about that too?
Leaving him was the ONLY thing she could have done. Any man who would abandon his pregnant wife for an ex-girlfriend doesn't deserve to have OP as his wife. Any man who would willfully miss his child's birth doesn't deserve the chance to be a father. What's going to happen if Valerie gets a hangnail right before his child's birthday party? What if she stubs her toe right before his child's highschool graduation?
I will never understand why people cheat then coming crying and begging hoping their relationship doesn’t end. Did they actually think there would be no consequences?
They think their love is so amazing that you'll put up with anything to breathe the same air as them.
Wow. He's playing the victim. What a surprise.
It takes a strong woman to admit that they been wrong. Yes, wrong about her choice of a partner. He was callous and disrespectful towards you and your child. He can go and hold his girlfriend’s hands, platonically, of course. You my dear deserve, love, full support and everlasting partnership. He is not yours and never was. Take your time. You are very vulnerable right now. Take the time to deal with your hormones as your baby is the most important person in your life right now. Think happy thoughts while taking care of her. Babies do feel their mother’s emotions. Your MIL rocks. 😂👏👏👏👏♥️♥️
He blocked his pregnant wife about to be in labor for five days while taking a trip out of town to support his ex. He didn't even answer the calls from his own mother at the hospital after his child was born.
Hello!! He does not care. What if, God forbid, the mother or the child had medical complications during or after birth, he would not have known or wanted to even know because his phone was off. Hello!!
The marriage was over before he stepped on the plane, she just didnt know it. He was already betraying her by keeping in touch. She should move far away from that scumbag. No man worth anything leaves his pregnant wife alone near her due date. She shoukd sue both for emotional distress. Jeremy is not worth thecair he breathes.
Remember that he didnt answer your calls and only sent 2 messages for an entire week! He is a literal Red Flag. Dump him.
At a time when OP could give birth to their baby at any time.
Never negotiate with a person so disrespectful. He disrespected his own child!
If I was OP, I would have left the father’s name blank on the birth certificate 😂😅
For "reasons," when our daughter was born i put "not stated" on her birth certificate. We fixed it two years later.
That is not fair to the child medically, emotionally and legally.
All children need to know who their Actual Biological Parents are.
There may be some inherited medical problems and the information is needed.
Legitimate children automatically have a right of inheritance to their parents estate and it also establishes documentation of parenty for illegitimate children.😮
@@noneofu9810
No, they don't need to know their biological father if he is a stinker.
Children born with donated sperm from a sperm bank NEVER know who their bio father is (it is part of the sperm donation process--no paternity rights) and they manage just fine without their knowing who is the bio father. The cancer tendencies that can be inherited genetically are ones that women get from their mothers so bio inheritance from the father is less important. And there are DNA tests now for those genes.
Couldn’t him not being there for the birth and going to Australia consider , Abandoning?
Him kissing his ex for a few minutes and he said he couldn’t continue doesn’t sound like loyalty; He left his pregnant wife to be with his ex. Instead of playing these mind games with OP why couldn’t the ex just say how she really felt and have the man decide. What did he expect OP was going to do when he came back, forgive and forget? He may never loved OP as much as he did for his ex, but his daughter will know the truth why her parents aren’t together, bc daddy had something more important to tend to than to witness the birth of their child.
OP’s husband & Valerie are like 2 alley cats. My apologies to alley cats. Any man who would abandon his pregnant wife for an ex girlfriend is a LOSER!
Tell him "You chose her over your wife and unborn daughter. Go back to her, because we're done."
No full custody,anything else can give Valerie the chance to harass the child.
Sorry op. Move away. Please let mother inlaw see your daughter. Mother inlaw is amazing. Poor mother inlaw son turned out to be a dead beat like his father.
its ok she has a daughter and grand daughter now
The husband has initiated harassment, within the meaning of the law.
And the fact so many friends went along with it. I mean they probably don't know the full story but I would at least question it when a friend of mine would want me to send those texts. But that might just be me considering my mother taught me to hear both sides before making up my mind. Poor OP that no one asked for her side 😢.
She has grounds for a restraining order. I think he should get no custody. Just visitation and only that with his mother supervising the visit.
The moment the flying monkeys attack, the person reveals themself as a narcissist. It's a classic symptom.
If this is a real story: it doesn't matter if he was there as a platonic friend. He chose another woman over his wife and brand new baby
The worst part is he never answered his phone or kept in contact.She or the baby could have died.What would have happened if his mother had not been available.Not many mothers would turn against their son unless his behaviour was disgusting.
Don't give him custody he didn't care about being there when she was broke why would he care now?
There is a similar story with people living in Australia and the husband going back to Canada to help the ex
Valerie didn't have other friends? Closer co workers? A damn dog? Please. Also if he wants to be a father he would have stayed to be one. He would have been there to watch his kid come into the world, hold her, cut the umbilical cord. He went there to get his pee pee wet by some old thang he wanted back.
He doesn't have anywhere to go. That's why he's asking for his family back. Most likely slept with ole girl multiple times and felt guilty after he did it and thought about his family.
If he wants to be a daddy he can get Valerie pregnant and live with her and raise their kid.
Leave this man ASAP and file for full custody! This man is clearly a fool, not to see through his ex’s BS. She clearly did this to destroy their marriage, all because you took her backup plan. He showed you where his loyalty is.
so hubby was a dead beat dad out of the gate.
he didnt care how she felt on delivery week. he doesnt care about how op feels with his friends bombardment .
what did he tell op when she said dont go? deal with it. sounds like he should eat his own words.
i hope op trust the actions of her STBXH and not his words. he is repeatedly boundary stomping....just like his ex
Should have answered the mean texts from his friends with “so you think it is okay for him to hook up with his ex and abandon you when you’re having a baby.” I’ll bet he never told the whole story to his friends.
He made his choice.
Odd that MIL was so strongly encouraging a divorce.
And speaking as a Valerie, I'm sorry this happened.
If he was loyal. He wouldn't have left his pregnant wife.
Shared custody? So hin can tell your daighter how bad you are?or worst? The problem with him have other children and dont give hrr atention? She dont know man .and how they donr care about child of ex
He could have called other people from the friend group to come spend time with her and gone to his wife. He made his choice and is now panicking.
Jeremy could have said he couldn't go but that one of their close friends could try to be with her.
No only did he betray his wife but also his mother, who had been through the same situation, but raised him with love and a home. He turned out just like his abandoning father. What a douche.
"Valerie said she doesn't want to be a homewrecker"... yes she does. That whole message was to drive them further apart, not try to fix anything. Otherwise, she wouldn't have shared about their "moment" and the kiss. She deliberately gave OP ago for the divorce and full custody... Valerie doesn't want to raise that kid! She knew exactly what she was doing.
If his friends were friends, they would have told him how wrong he was AND Valarie for calling him.....they had a group of them. They shave helped him get it together and not bombard the aggrieved party with texts and emails. Smh. Valarie was full of junk, and I would have told her about herself.
He most likely lied to the friends for the mean texts to ensue. He lied about kissing valarie so hes not above saving himself
Valery's parents could be the one crossing the ocean, no?
He said her father is unwell.
Even if the visit was purely platonic (which I'm betting it wasn't).
Even if he felt no romantic feelings for Valerie anymore (still betting bs on this).
He made his priorities perfectly clear and it wasn't OP. Nor was it the baby. It was Valerie.
As soon as the flying monkeys started then all doubt should have gone. And OP should let him know that she had been considering taking him back until that point.
Yeah. He needs to be punished for the flying monkeys harassing her. That was cruel and the nail in the coffin--he was done as soon as that started.
Might not get father of the year award.
OP, NEEDS to go for full custody and go for supervised visitation, not joint custody because he hasn’t proven he is worthy or capable of it. He neglected his daughter BEFORE her birth leaving his heavily pregnant wife to be with his ex, obviously prioritizing his ex who “needed him.” He’s a POS for getting his friends on the bandwagon in a manipulation tactic to get OP to bend/compromise to get his way. He played the victim when he was not. If OP bends, she shouldn’t do so to near the extent she is and going for full custody w/ supervised visitation. The ex should only have two options the very limited compromise, or he sign over his rights because he has to prove though action he can be deserving of joint custody. When this goes to mediation or court, it will not play in his favor because he literally abandoned his family he supposedly wants. Custody arrangements can be renegotiated and changed later on.
OP is not using the daughter as a pawn. She’s doing what’s necessary and in the best interest of the child so one parent isn’t failing her. OP’s ex give the vibe that he will continue to neglect his daughter because he doesn’t have his priorities straight. I guarantee OP’s MIL along with her parents will testify on her behalf. Thank goodness his mom isn’t siding with the son that’s clearly in the wrong. B
I hope she takes time to heal and finds someone truly deserving of her when she’s ready.
Yeah, a parent just doesn't back down because of some people who doesn't care about you 'think' you are a meanie. It's your child. You gave birth and have been there for her.
I'd reply "when your in labour and your husband is ignoring you and spending a week with their ex who they know is a sore spot for you then you can say something about my situation. He showed me she means more to him then me and his daughter and actions have consequences. I refuse to be a doormat" then ignore.
Tell them all to go away. Ask them where they were when you needed him. Tell them all that you're fed up with speaking as if you're a broken record. (Older people will know what I mean!)
I am old enough. Yes, damage to the grooves on a record could skip the same passage endlessly. Not the tapes but the old LPs and the small ones with one song per side.
HAHAH! Girl i feel bad you had to go through having the baby by yourself. When you both started dating and he said she is my first love and I still keep in touch with her was your way to leave but no you stayed so that's on you.
Its easy to find out if the ex is on the deathbed. He cheated and he knows it.
“I’ll accept whatever consequences you have for me” *files for divorce and full custody* “no not that!” 🤦🏼♀️
OP, you are not the AH, but your husband is. He made a decision to leave you the day after your due date to fly to frigging Australia to be with his ex-girlfriend because she was diagnosed with stage 2 brain cancer. Well, if she actually had brain cancer I can tell you that stage 2 is bad, but she was not yet on her death bed. My mother was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer, and she chose not to have anything other than hospice treatment. She actually lived for another 3 months, and she didn't actually get to the point where she was totally out of it until the last 3 weeks of her life. So, your husband had time to see his daughter born, if he had given a flying f*(k about you and his daughter.
Your husband decided that his ex was more important than you or his daughter. In fact, at the time he left you both you and your chlid were probably at higher risk of dying right then, since childbirth is still considered a life-threatening situation for mothers and children even in this day and age. Given you had never had a child before there is no telling what might have happened unexpectedly. He made a clear cut decision about who was most important in his life, and honey it wasn't you or your daughter. Thank heavens your MIL was there with you and was so supportive. It says something to me that in her mind she did not even cut him a bit of slack about his decision to leave you to face the birth of your daughter by yourself. Your MIL is totally right about you divorcing, terminating parental rights and getting the child support. I think your husband needs to go back to the woman he left you for, and you need to find yourself a real man.
I would divorce him. Give him visitation but not overnights yet. You did the right thing. He's an asshole.
I really really REALLY hope OP goes for full custody with supervised visits, because going off his behaviour over being divorced and told he wouldn't be getting custody, I genuinely believe this man would, at best, fill the kid's head with vitriol towards OP and, at worst, disappear with the kid, just to hurt OP.
Loyal? Not even.
Question: do you want him to take your daughter to Australia on one of his days of custody? So it is better that narcissist should have no parental rights
Girl, go after your ex-husband's ex- girlfriend and sue her for all she's got. She's a homewrecker and she needs to be punished. she destroyed your husband's chance at being a father and for all intents and purposes, tell him: "he can damn well see his daughter when she graduates HIGH SCHOOL" and then get a full RO on him until then!!
More than not being there he TURNED OFF HIS PHONE so much could have happened he left her alone and turned off his phone that says more than anything my husband missed the birth of our first child due to being injured in a car accident on his way to the hospital he called my mom to come to me the video called me so he could be there as much as possible that is care that is love he found a way
CHEATER CHEATER CHEATER
and a big jerk, too.
I can't believe she still consider allowing him to see her daughter after everything he has done... She's already failing her daughter by considering allowing him in her life.
Father's have rights too
@@juliaalexander5788 As well as obligations. He already failed his daughter before she was even born. You want him to fail her again when she will be able to be sad about it ? He skipped her birth for something else, what's next ? Skipping her birthdays ? Her school events ? Her graduation ? And look at how he acted all along, harassing OP, making his friends and even his "ex" harass OP. He cheated on the kid's mother while she was giving birth. Do you think he's worthy to be in the kid's life ? The kid will be better without this piece of shit around.
@Kal_57 if he's in America he still has rights, for better or worse, unless he signs his rights away. There's a reason some feel people should have some kind of test to be parents, but he has to right to the opportunity to fulfill those obligations. I know several guys who suck at romantic partnership but are fantastic fathers
@@juliaalexander5788true but he is not the the father legally because he did not sign the birth certificate, because he was not there.
@@juliaalexander5788
This is beyond sucking at being romantic partner, his daughter was born and he didn't come to see her in the hospital because he had his ex to bang. He spent the whole week and more because his ex is more important then his daughter.
My dad died a few days before my son was born. I stayed with my wife. My father understood and said it was the right choice!
Why didn’t he come right back when she wasn’t on deathbed? What a jerk husband is
Valeria must want the kid
wants the entire life.
You need to change your phone number immediately and SUE him for harassment and emtional distress. Take FULL custody of your baby and have his parental rights terminated. Later, you can always let him see the baby, if you want, but not for now. His behavior 26:00 does not warrant any visitation. He should know you need peace and quiet after giving birth, so him getting everybody and his brother to constantly harass you shows that he is NOT a decent person. He seems to have overlooked the fact that he created on his pregnant wife, emotionally at the very least!!! Leaving his overdue wife to rush to the side of his so-called ex-GF. What kind of man does that?!? He has not shown one ounce of concern for his daughter. BTW, is Valerie dead yet?
how is this a complicated situation? does op have so low esteem?
No, most likely she has developed postpartum depression with the pregnancy hormones and her husband leaving her to run to his ex. That would make any pregnant woman see red and get depressed cause the only person she had to support her left her to deal with the delivery by herself. Her dilemma was whether to allow him any kind of custody of the baby. In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say screw him, but would it affect her child in the long run? I would say screw you, you are not a good father because you left when “we” needed you. He said the ex didn’t have family close by to help her, but neither did OP. Luckily she did have a caring MIL, but she’s not OP’s mother.
You are also just exhausted after giving birth and starting to breast feed, let alone the hormones. I was nearly hysterical with fatigue the first week.
@@stirrednotshaken4823 "He said the ex didn’t have family close by to help her, but neither did OP. Luckily she did have a caring MIL, but she’s not OP’s mother."
And that's my issue, he didn't care that his wife and future child were almost alone, but was extremely concerned with his ex? Also, as you know that as safe as giving birth is today ( excluding the complicated cases), things can turn to the worst doing birth, and he wasn't there to support her because another person took priority over her and child. Is that really a person she can rely to be there for her and their child in the future?
Get a protective order against this disloyal individual. Regardless of his actions AND those of his flying monkeys if OP associates with him even in the least nothing good will come of it.
Jeremy somehow "forgot" that his first priority was to his pregnant wife. And his soon-to-be child. Not his ex. This isn't punishment, its the consequences of his choices and the harassment of OP just shows how little he cares about either of them. Oh and OP should have a clause in any custody agreement that prevents him from taking their daughter oyt of the country without OP's permission (so she doesn't end up in Australia). That Valerie is a piece if work, too. I think she meant to hammer the last nail into the coffin of tbat marriage with ger message to OP.
My wife is divorcing me because i chose my ex over being there for the birth of my child, i'm sure getting everyone i know to harass her will change her mind... God he's a special kind of pos
So, he sends people to bully her! So when the daughter decides not to do what he wants is he going to bully her the same way?! I would tell them to back off. Or block them. It's not their business. Did any of them offer to step up in his place. Hell no! Block them honey. That poor baby girl needs drama less parenting.
“I don’t want to be a homewrecker!” Then why did you act like one? Also, if he was TRULY loyal, the kid wouldn’t have lasted more than half a second. Even if she surprised him, if he was genuinely loyal, he would have pushed her away IMMEDIATELY, not kiss her back or let it happen for several minutes.
If he was GENUINELY LOYAL, he'd have not left OP right before birth for his not-so-ex
@@spectrelead oh absolutely, but I’m just pointing out the flaw in her own logic.
@@alexismyers6053 Fair point.
If I have a bf who’s still friends with the ex and the ex still have feelings by making jokes.. I would automatically leave/break up. Homeboy you have lingering baggage. Peace out ✌️
Op started dating a man with obvious red flags. Keeping the guy in touch with his ex, letting the ex badmouth OP. OP should've run the moment she met her hubbie's ex and never married him.
It wouldn’t matter if anything happened or not. He chose to be with an ex over you, for a whole week, while you were due to deliver. He absolutely had something going on and if not he threw his wife over for nothing.
Narcissists gonna Narcissists i suppose
Oh he had tears in his eye! Bo-ho...poor baby.
Remember, she was at the end of her pregnancy and he was not getting any....you know...😺. So he visited his ex to get some....😺.
the story can't be found, what is the original title so we can follow for updates?
I would have sent a message back and said you have other friends. I NEEDED him. My daughter needed him. I am sorry you are going through that. I really am. But you made sure that you surrounded us with all your friends when you were being rude to me. But did you ask anyone them first? Or heaven forbid you contact me and ask me. I could have expressed how terrified I was to give birth without him. I could have died, my daughter could have died and he wasn't here. Put yourself in my place. You were not going to die in a week. You could have waited.
It rose not matter if it was platinic or not he left you in your time of need he endangered your child he prioritisesed her over you and your daughter.
His first act as a father was to not be their he dudnt just abandon you he abonded your child. What if something had gone wrong what if your mil hadnt stepped in to support you. What if the stress had caused an issue that killed you or your child. He not only dose not deserve to be in your childs life he is a danger.
Even though he was very, very wrong in his actions your daughter will resent you blocking her father from her life. A two year old is unlikely to feel comfortable with a stranger turning up and declaring fatherhood.
26:09 is there a reason why Valerie doesn’t have any other friends?
That's harassment. Show them all to your lawyer. He is harassing you by mob media. Use that to help you with your case. That would make me dig harder into taking his rights away.
OMG this is just sad
1 grow a spine and think about your child no yourself
2 you know what he did to you think it will be different for your child
3 read what you wrote here if that is not enough for you to decide then take him back and have a crappy life and hope your child does not suffer from her fathers selfish ways
it is just sad a thirtysomething can not make a decision
I will agree that he was stupid and she has every right to divorce but for her to want him to terminate his parental rights is ridiculous
Did you stop and think that he might be doing this custody thing just to get close to you to try to wear you down?
Did Valerie pass? No? She's a stone-cold, bare-faced liar and hubby comes a VERY close second. Please,OP,protect you and your daughter.
Who gets a last minute ticket to Australia
Leave him yess, but share custody you can not use the child as punishment... Youre. Daughter will resent you because yes he is a whole but that does not mean he doesnt deserve his child in his life
A month before birth and after, you should never go anywhere further than your everyday routine. And i bet he spent that week doing much more than kissing valerie that one time
"He didn't allow it to last more than a couple minutes"
So, he allowed the kiss to last a couple minutes. A man who loves and honors his wife wouldn't have tolerated even a fraction of a second of that moment; OP's ex is not a man.
I need the tldr pls
I would hardly want advice from an EX on how to keep my man happy. Especially someone who has to play the "Im dying card" to get his attention. I'm a smartass and super quick on my feet with sassy retorts when the climate calls for it, and I would've schooled her on how I keep him happy. Of course, if he had left me and went to her when I was having our kid, he would've come home to changed locks and all of his stuff on the porch with all of the crotches cut from all of his pants and undies since he enjoys sharing that area with others so much, along with divorce papers. No convo needed.
A couple of minutes isn't that short of a time, especially when it comes to kissing. That's not being loyal.
You know the concerning part is not the ex-girlfriend the concerning part is op that she was allowing this situation throughout their relationship and still end up getting pregnant by this bum.
And honestly that's basically what she needed to do just deal with it because you've been dealing with it this whole time by allowing the ex(maybe) front row seat in your relationship.
I've had three children and not once did these pregnancy hormones set for some reason this generation keeps using as excuses to either be needy or irresponsible or just plain nasty.
So, Valerie was "on her death bed"?! Did Jeremey spend that week waiting for her to die? When is her funeral? Or did she have a miracle recovery?