Nuclear Weapons: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ม.ค. 2025
- America has over 4,800 nuclear weapons, and we don’t take terrific care of them.
It’s terrifying, basically.
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00:07 "The threat of nuclear Annihilation. It's probably been a while since you thought about it." Oh, how I wish you were right, 2014 John.
The Ukraine aren't NATO allies. There won't be a nuclear holocaust over it.
Also, the US already reached their war goal. Now Europeans, especially Germany, has to buy expensive American liquid fracking gas instead of cheap Russian gas via Nordstream II.
And the Selensky-Kolomojskyj-Connection also reached the goal to destroy the diplomatic and also business connections between the West and Russia for a decade.
_Disclaimer: I'm not a Putin-fanboy and don't encourage the Russian military action against the Ukraine. People in the West tend to forget that this war is going on for eight years by now and that the Ukraine is not a Western democracy but a corrupt oligarch state._
yannick is the only one who liked his comment haha
Unfortunately the world will forever have a threat of nuclear war.
@@yannick245 Russia has been putting nuclear warheads on high alert. If God forbid that the US gets involved it could get nuclear if someone strikes first.
@@adamwest3637 I don't if you want to, I can raise it to two:
To be fair. "Oops, oh shit." Would be the most fitting statement to usher in the end of humanity I can think of.
Going into extinction Dr. Strangelove style.
“What does this button do?”
As long as we have time to watch the Martin Sheen Doomsday Video first.
Its okay I have a blanket to hide under
@@bernardschmitt6389 who needs blankets? Just lay on the ground and don't look at the mushroom cloud. You'll be fine.
As a Montanan I feel reassured knowing that the pizza delivery guy will always be there to close the door
Makes sure pizza delivery boy name isn`t Hassan ! :))))
@@TheBluesSociety Why?
TheBluesSociety funnily enough Hassan means the person who makes things better,
I’d argue that’s exactly who you would need!
Karen Skinner either he’s being funny, or he’s genuinely racist, no way to tell for sure
He better not. door is tagged out because it's broken.
We need a part two on this ASAP
Yeh, I just hope we're still here for it. Rewatching it though is giving me a small sliver of hope, if the US's nukes are this badly maintained then the Russians are going to be far worse given the state of their military.
@@davescott7680 hopefully
Thinking the same thing LOL
Should end every episode with "And if you're watching from the future, I fking told you so."
I'm not getting under the fkn table with a picnic blanket again to practice! I never got it in the 70s as a kid. Fortunately I live in the southern hemisphere, at the bottom half too! If our stupid PM doesn't annoy Putin as much as he has China for 8 weeks we should have a replacement government that's less stressfully reckless with everything!
That recap of the chain of command was legendary.
Van Slam 😂 indeed
Classic. All clear to me now.
@@raenaldo ]
add Trump to it, it'll be become epic...lol
Not as legendary as the chain of command itself
The fact that American Nuke systems still run on floppy discs brings me peace of mind...
It means they are hacker-proof.
+Saddam Hussein Hey, aren't you dead ?
+Saddam Hussein Ladies and gentlemen! Saddam Hussein!
+Sosuke Aizen America killed him, in other words he's not dead
+Muhammad Mirsab Genius.
+Saddam Hussein
Now I'm stuck in captivity
I wasn't even the real enemy
9/11 wasn't tied to me
And I never even made a WMD
Osama Bin Ladin's free
But they sent an army after me
Despite my gross iniquity
Iraq would be so empty without me
"Okay. Alright. We nearly blew up one of the Carolinas but that's basically why we have two."
hahahahaha. I know. What a perfect line. He is a comedic genius .
The fact that one of the places we have nukes in is one of the two(2, count 'em) states named "Dakota" isn't very re-assuring...
Yeah but wrong one!!!
Lol
I live in nc and when he said that I was laughing for a solid minute
It's VERY important that they use floppy discs. It may seem out-of-date, but they are virtually impossible to hack, and you don't want hackers getting into nuclear weapon launching software.
Uh you know malware have been passed through floppy disks back in the day? Also their OS running the program is probably an outdated proprietary crap long past EOL support. Security through obscurity is a terrible design goal. Their only strength is air gapping at best.
It maters that they hardware is either not networked, or at least incredibly isolated.
If the government of United States can’t afford cyber security for weapons capable of ushering in the Holocaust of all human life on earth, then we need to reconsider how the hell we’re running the numbers on these fucking things.
They could also make sure their silos are offline. That also works.
@@aerialdarkguy But wouldn't someone need to physically insert the floppy disk containing the malware in order for that to happen?
I've never laughed so hard yet be scared shitless at the same time!
My faces: X-D and D-X
Nice.
So you're the one who made a mess all over the kitchen. Bad Wood! Bad!
Not even when you heard about Trump?
M ,jfbsElf
Well i find this quite encouraging, it means even if an idiotic president tries to fire a nuke, there is a good chance, it wont work due to apparent incompetence.
incompetence breeds incompetence
no they work. they work just fine. the old technology is there for a reason.
sweiland75 What a charming man you must be
TheRetiredtrucker I NEVER said we should not have them. I just said i would rather they did not actually work.
TheRetiredtrucker Uh. WW2 was not exactly "conventional", seeing as it was declared "total war" on all sides, meaning the governments willfully declared their civilians as on equal status as soldiers. (basically declaring total war means you say that civilians will resist foreign soldiers on their soil)(tha's not conventional, ftr)
We need a John Oliver for every country in this world.
We sure do. But, realistically speaking, unfortunately, I don't think every country provides or protects its citizens Freedom of Speech & Press as much as the First Amendment does. Certainly not the countries where people like John Oliver, Hasan Minhaj and others are really needed like you know...
Singapore has democracy in its pledge and not much anywhere else
We got a Brazilian version of this show (called Greg news) doing a fantastic job. Maybe HBO could be persuaded to do the show in more countries
Philippines has a president who can kill you
@@gameovergaming9407 Well that's pretty much any countries president, isn't it?
Seeing this video getting recommended after Putin invaded Ukraine is not exactly the kind of hope I was looking for youtube to give.
TH-cam / Hope lol
Same lmao
mood
Lmao me too
Big mood
Remember when drunk and caught messing up in a Casino was bad?
Those were the days
This entire video is a giant "hold my beer" moment, isn't it? Ohhh just you wait John Oliver... just you wait.
I saw that this was made in 2019. Welcome to 2020.
@@flamethatsings-witchcraft5893 welcome to 2022. Jesus fuckin Christ :/ I’m getting scared by the day now
I almost died when he brought up "meal team 6" 😂😂😂
Me too.
'Me'al too.
hahahaha
I'll show myself out
Still looks better than Seal Team on CBS. Meal Team would be WAYY more watchable.
I like boobies
Leon Kepp Russian la Quinta
"Oops, aw shit."
The story of my life
Thanks to John, I always keep a picnic blanket with me just in case of emergencies!
Never go anywhere without your trusty towel
TIL that the whole picnic blanket thing was propaganda (kinda) Basically they wanted the world to know that "We and our people are ready for war if you dare to nuke us". Okay, maybe they also wanted Americans to be less concerned about them manufacturing nukes but still.
The idea of duck and cover was to avoid fallout or debree if you are lucky enough to be far enough to not instantly become a tumor grenade.
"Tumor Grenade" is my next favorite metal band.
Or a lit matchstick
Exactly people are taking this out of context. I mean it's clearly meant as an infomercial targeted for children. It will not help you if you are directly under the airblast center... but then again nothing will.
It's like earthquake drills in Japan... sitting under the desk will shelter you from the ceiling light crashing down and windows break... It won't help you if the entire building collapses.
Or become gas
No way to avoid the radiation if you are close enuff to receive falling debris. You're a tumor grenade even if you only show up in the area where the blast radius caused falling debris years after the blast itself itself was long gone. Just ask the Japanese who lived anywhere Hiroshima the past 70 years.
The big floppy disc got my laughing. Maybe that is good. Maybe nobody can hack it if it only runs on DOS?
petro062 Russians be like “we almost hacked their nukes, but then it crashed because apparently our spyware is to demanding for their launch computers”
It's not about how hackable it is, it's about how reliable it is. When you are 100% sure the old system has no bugs or flaws, why risk re-coding everything?
Also, maintenance must be simpler on those things. Maybe you don't want the whole system to be down for hours if it crashes ^^
Nobody can hack it because it's on a closed system. Why would you ever plug your nuclear system into the internet, that's literally what made War Games' plot work.
I mean, you can get access to systems multiple ways. There was a virus the US made a long time ago that was able to get access to Iran's nuclear reactors via an employees computer.
The dad putting his head under the newspaper to avoid the blast was gold.
LulzRoyce Depending on how far away you are, that could be the difference between severe burns and mild ones, or mild burns and no burns at all.
On the edge of a blast, the biggest risks are debris from the pressure wave (especially glass) and burns from the “flash” which even thin fabric or paper can protect against to some degree.
"[SUBJECT]...... It's that thing you never think about, until I devote a segment to it." - Every John Oliver show before Trump and the pandemic
He should talk about these topics
And after..
Oh yeah, the before times, when we could just ignore most of the bad stuff. It’s weird now to think that we used to live like that tbh
ICBM. I see BM. I see bowel movement.
Wow that took me forever to get it. Slightly more sophisticated than ICUP.
Funny colors..
Might result in an incontinent bowel movement lol
bm means bad manners
I-I see...oh shit!
The story about that drunk general was so weird and terrifying at the same time.
"Weapons-grade stupidity" should not be a thing.
And yet, it apparently is.
If the US COVID-19 response is anything to gauge the response to using nuclear weapons - the Fallout series of video games is looking more likely
Not only is it a thing, it's also something you can have while still being elected President. Because MURRICA!
“Weapons grade stupidity” might as well be the tagline for this country
It gets worse when you hear that a former president kept this kind of stuff at his home/resort, in a desk, the pool house, and committed a crime to hide the fact that he had such documents when he shouldn't have.
Not to mention a STORAGE UNIT!!?
WHAT IF HE FORGOT ABOUT IT?? Huh?
"On this episode of Storage Wars.... Chrissy and Dan find.... Uhhhh Nuclear weapon launch codes and blueprints.... Y'know what? I'm done, I'm drawing the line at PRIORITY ONE BLUEPRINTS!! COME ON!"
"All New Storage Wars fallout edition, 9/8 Central. On A&E"
Greetings from the year 2017, where this video is approximately 45 times more terrifying.
Timber Ridge And '18. Where I'm starting to not mind that prospect as long as it means I'd be dead and Trump/Pence isn't our administration
Timber Ridge
2018 and terrified.
Midway into 2018. Still terrified.
2018 not looking any better
2018 Trump will soon meet his boss Putin in Helsinki for his annual review. Just the two of them and their interpreters. History will never record what they said.
“Too drunk for the Russians.”
Nikolai Belinski: Nobody can be too drunk, for me! Fourth wife comes closest
“Yep, you dropped an armed nuclear bomb on your own country”
They dropped one on Spain too
Source: oversimplified
@ImAProudIndian I hope America doesn’t fail art school
Real quick, what is the equal and opposite reaction to detonating multiple nukes for decades?
Perhaps an increase in cancer or maybe adversely mess up the delicate 20 degree tilt of the planet.
Even in a flat Earth on a matrix the consequences would have to be simulated.
@@allabraun5133 the tilting is not a problem since even the strongest of nukes pale in comparision to volcanoes and earthquakes in amount of energy relased. On the other hand, the increase in cancer levels is quite possible, although the global impact seems negligable, there has been an reported increase in birth defects and cancer in areas adjoint to nuclear testing grounds.
@@thorvanheghe4023 Don't google "broken arrow" or "bent spear". Just don't.
"ICBMs. Also what you would say if you saw one coming at you. A little joke for the gastroenterologists." This joke is way too good to ever exist.
I don't get it
@@rausbBM = bowel movements = poop. Missiles make you shit your pants in fear
"Go ask them if i can play guitar"
plays air bass.
To think this Earth still exists because one day long ago one Russian soldier ignored his training and orders and didnt launch when the computer told him that he should...
What were you talking about here? Sorry for the late reply.
@@Kingofcheese184 the russian missile detection system showed missile launches from the usa. This guy was in charge that day, and he knew he would now have to retaliate in only a couple minutes time.
he chose not to, and his instinct was right - the american missile attack turned out to be some clouds that fooled the sensors.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1983_Soviet_nuclear_false_alarm_incident
In Soviet Russia...the people are even more incompetent as the USA regarding to nuclear weapons. Why is there no Russian John Oliver who tell that the Russians?
@@Kingofcheese184 a time during cold war where soviet satelite detect abnormality in the atmosphere for a nuclear attack from the US, a soviet officer decided to ignore their detection warning from retaliating with nuclear launch, believing that must be a mistake, turns out, he was right and quite literally, avoiding nuclear war from happening back then
@@steffenreimann2854 gulag
This should be a sitcom. Group of idiots and military drop-outs, and maybe one competent fellow all living together in a nuclear silo, let shenanigans ensue.
Chuck Lore is pitching this to CBS and NBC as we speak
10:22 : Alan: " Charlie, I seem to be forgetting something "
Charlie : " If you don't remember it, it wouldn't be important "
The thing they forgot: *nuclear warheads*
The biggest surprise in this story was that there is a casino in Iowa
Not to a Omaha, Nebraska native. Apart of the reason why casinos are so plentiful in western Iowa is because my home state's government has been against their construction for decades if not more. The casinos there have done very well over the years thanks to eastern Nebraskans with money to blow making the 20 - 40 min. drive to Council Bluffs, IA.
We have to take a break from starring at corn all day
+Thegnome King
I'M BEYOND DONE XD
To be fair ... they are barns with slot machines
ok ...they are barns with slot machines, where you can walk outside and see corn growing for as far as the eye can see
"The death blast is coming but we'll all survive it if we get under this picnic blanket!"
Actually, YES. If you study up nuclear weapons, you'll know that for all yields above a few kt, the thermal radiation effect is by far the most extensive. Sure, if you're close enough for the *blast* (shockwave) to hit you while it's still strong, you're dead. But you can be much further than that and still die from the *heat blast* that comes *much sooner*.
You have maybe a few moments to get out of direct *line of sight* of the explosion. Literally anything that isn't transparent will effectively stop the heat wave (but likely ignite at the same time). The heat wave lasts only a few seconds itself, so as long as it *doesn't go off into your unprotected skin*, you'll be fine. Otherwise you'll have life-threatening third degree burns.
This is why the immediate duck-and-cover response was attempted to be taught to the population. Because far enough from the explosion, it *will save your life*. Unfortunately, unless you're constantly thinking about it, your real-life reaction will probably not be fast enough to take cover before the heat wave hits you. Hesitate only a second - and it's too late.
+zolikoff
Oh so that's what they meant. It makes that scene in the comic Barefoot Gen; where he was too short and was shielded behind a concrete wall, while the adult got fried instantly, more understandable.
You could survive, but radiation and nuclear fallout could make your next years miserable.
Brandon Driver If you're far enough away from the explosion that a duck-n-cover saves you, then no harmful direct ionizing radiation (from the nuclear reaction) will hit you. Any bomb above a few kt in yield will have as its greatest lethal effect the heat wave. It's possible, though, with a very small bomb (below kiloton range), those have a lethal ionizing radiation range much larger than the other blast effects.
As for the fallout: If it's a modern weapon detonated in an airburst, fallout is essentially non-existent. If it was a surface explosion, fallout *exists and will be dangerous*, you will want to avoid open areas a few miles around the explosion and in any zones downwind up to maybe even a hundred miles, for a few weeks.
Thankfully, radiation from fallout is easy to detect, and I bet that affected areas will quickly be identified and marked off, and the people informed where not to go.
+zolikoff Most modern atomic bombs are in the megaton range. We are talking 1000 kilotons.......these things deliver massive doses of radiation and have a huge thermal blast wave. MX misslies each have 10 MIRV warheads about 1 megaton each. 1 megaton can destroy 80 square miles. 1 square mile is 640 acres.
+zolikoff A guy told me one time, "Don't let yourself get attached to anything you
are not willing to walk out on in 1 second flat if you feel the heat
around the corner.''
Ken Havens Modern payloads in the most common strategic warheads are around 300 kilotons. Megaton nukes tend to be inefficient and were thus basically discontinued; only some remain in the active arsenal as relics.
And again, if the nuke is detonated high in the air, to maximize damage to buildings, then the fallout is basically nothing. Fallout comes from material being blasted into dust, and irradiated by prompt neutrons from the explosion, activating the nuclei and making them short-term radioactive. This only happens if there's material around the explosion to be activated. In an airburst, the fireball never gets close to the ground; only air is around it. And that amount of matter is insignificant; so is the material of the bomb itself. So, no fallout.
7:11 --- when you watch it now, you realize that the craziest headlines of 2014 are "meh" headlines in 2017
And it hasn't gotten any better in 2019
MotionPictureIncGL 😂 right
and in future space-year, 2019 aren't even articles...
Now every other headline is someone who works near the white house did something terrible
Back in the late 80’s I worked at a “special weapons “ depot in West Germany and some of the things that went on there would make a grown man cry.
The cruelty or the stupidity?
Was it like this?
Medusa Gorgo 😲 plz tell me more...
We want details!
Such as? Don't leave us hanging like this.
... and the mishaps he's mentioning are the one's we know about. I'm sure there have been some cover ups far more serious.
jep, during operation Chrome Dome the US dropped a total of 14 Nuclear Bombs - 6 in the US, 4 in Spain, 4 in Iceland.
th-cam.com/video/gjmgUHWGX1g/w-d-xo.html
@@unitedspacepirates9075 That video was stolen. And it wasn't real either.
He's just mentioning the funny ones! There are books about this. Apparently it's possible for a crashed atomic weapon to just BURN, (full of high explosives) and make an ungodly mess, THAT has to be a ton of fun to clean up!
@@moreno4821 infact audio was real...
I know John has his detractors and haters but I think he and his writers are some of the funniest on TV!!! That T-REX joke was priceless!!! Always good for many chuckles at least for me!!! I don't have cable TV so having his show on TH-cam is really essential for me!!! Whenever I am feeling down or desperately need to laugh, I always turn to John Oliver and he never disappoints!!! Thanks John!
Having haters and detractors is not necessarily a sign of being bad anyway.
Agree. But behind the great humor and crazy references, he’s the best example and promoter of:
- common sense
- human values
- disagreement with high level idiotism and
- alarming events
Need one John In my little unimportant (most important for me though) country- Bulgaria too. And every other country…
I do the same thing. When I'm feeling lonely or kind of blah, I go to TH-cam and watch several John Oliver shows. He can be hilarious. I never get tired of watching his shows.
1.) Low tech means less prone to cyber attacks, viruses, skynet etc. 2.) Military electronics are designed to work reliably for decades and to do just their task. So - floppy disks are no prob to me. Many still used air defense systems still use vacuum tubes - these are EMP-proof 3.) Fuel explosion cannot trigger nuclear warhead to detonate. Nuclear ignition is very precise process - you have to detonate TATB explosive lenses AT ONCE to compress plutonium core into supercritical mass. This requires exact timing and lot of technology. Some missile silo accident can't do that. By the way, modern (i mean "developed after WW1") explosives - if thrown into fire - will just burn to ashes. For detonation you need blasting cap which produces explosive impulse. Fire is insufficient.
Boris Michalko great write up
Shouldn't we at least replace as much as possible, the existing stockpile with ones that require less maintenance, solid rocket boosters are much more reliable and much easier to maintain. I am not saying we should get rid of them entirely but if we do keep them at least make them cheaper.
Good point, Boris - mind you, the accident noted resulted in an airman losing his life in the fire...
Of course, on the other hand - the whole "socket beats nuclear missile" is a little misleading - to be fair, the socket in question weighed NINE POUNDS, and had seventy feet of free-fall to pick up kinetic energy before it struck the sidewall of the missile's first stage, piercing it and breaching the fuel cell, releasing hypergolic fuel (that later ignited and caused the fire).
Yes but you at least should be able to develop something better. Something accounting for all the benefits that you pointed out (reliability, not prone to EMP attacks, etc.) and does things better. It's at least half a century of technology advancement since the tech was originally made, and billions of dollars spent on military, including the R&D department of it.
Welcome to the list.
My civics teacher played the Duck and Cover video in 2015. He wasn't trying to teach us about the era with it, he was genuinely trying to inform us about proper safety procedures.
I'm kindof reassured they're still using ancient computers. They at least know all of the vulnerabilites of those, where more complex systems might be more easily hackable.
+tSp289 The major flaw is that you can't put any serious encryption on floppy information.
+David Tennant
You do not need to connect them to the internet in the first place...
+Crown-Prince Squirrel Thats what he is saying. The internet isnt hooked up to them, they are on their own closed connection system.
+David Tennant
"Like the internet but only connected to their nukes". That's called a local area network, or LAN.
Crap venue for a LAN party though. The nuke always wins.
Duck and cover is a legitimate survival tactic. I hate when people make fun of it. There are several zones of destruction when a nuke goes off. The largest by far, the outermost zone, experiences a shockwave and varying degrees of infrared radiation. The shockwave is dangerous because it sends objects (note:glass flying very quickly is very deadly) flying and the infrared radiation is dangerous because it can cause skin burns and set objects on fire. Ducking and covering would protect you from most flying objects, and would prevent most skin burns. In conclusion, for the majority of people that would be affected by a nuclear strike, utilizing duck and cover could save a persons life and/or minimize injuries.
John Doe
Not necessarily.
1. You could drive out of the fallout zone. (Just drive opposite the wind direction. Not super hard.
2. You might be prepared and have a fallout shelter. Or could improvise a fallout shelter.
3. You could have a “crazy” friend or relative who is completely prepared that you could go to for safety.
Michael Reed
I'd argue that none of these are ideal in the event of a nuclear catastrophe.
John Doe
Ideal, no.
But considering you’ve just been nuked, and if you hadn’t taken the time and resources to prepare, these are possibilities that could save your life.
Ideal, no. But perhaps life saving.
Michael Reed
Personally I'd rather be dead in such a situation as large-scale multiple nuclear detonation, but each to their own I guess.
Michael Reed thank you. Can you provide sources for this info? Why is this not more publicised?
Also, kudos to both you n “John” for a polite exchange of views. So nice to read a debate with no personal insults or swearing.
Oh to be in 2014 where the ending joke of "if humanity is going to be destroyed by a nuclear weapon, let it be intentional with a US President riding a nuclear missile with his middle finger raised to the sky..." Not so funny now.
Don't tell Trump. Oh god that would be right up his style.
FUCK YOU EVERYBODY! TRUMP IS SHUTTING THIS SHIT DOWN....
A M E R I C A F I R S T
Russia has dropped the largest bomb.
@@tm13tube : What's amazing about the test-detonation of the Tsar Bomba is that it was actually DROPPED from a plane, rather than placed atop some test stand in the middle of nowhere.
@@tm13tube Making weapons big though is not very efficient.
@@rogermwilcox it was also designed be up to twice as powerful as it was when it was tested
6:54 this would make a better comedy than most that have been produced - plus, it would have the “based on a true story” tag too. This NEEDS to be a movie.
"The software is outdated too" *shows outdated hardware*
At least with that level of outdatedness, our nukes are NEVER going to be hacked.
@@sagesheahan6732 Well, as long as you don't give the systems internet access they still won't be hackable
@@presidentbanana4536 Implying that it's internet compatable.
Sage Sheahan I thought that was the reason they didn’t upgrade the system, so it could never be remotely hackable
But those are the soft floppies *haha funny joke*
Mmmm, yes, I agree with most of this, except for the "software upgrades" the reason why it is using such 'ancient' technology is because it is unhackable since it is not directly hooked up to any networks.
+GladiusGames but could't they just upgrade their systems and not hooked them up to any network, it could serve the same purpose just a question =)
Alonso Poquianchi I suppose that would be possible.
+GladiusGames Speaking from experience, the USAF uses a LOT of highly outdated technology like that. They don't use it because it's "unhackable," they use it because it's not broke so they don't want to fix it. It's more efficient to use what they have. It's the same reasons that large organizations continue to store massive amounts of data that they don't need constant access to on magnetic tapes: it's ridiculously cheap for the effectiveness it provides for that specific use case.
+GladiusGames ... that's not accurate. There are lots of places that use very modern computing equipment that is "air-gapped", meaning it has never ever been physically connected to the internet by ethernet or via Wi-Fi. If a computer lives in a bubble, it is also unhackable.
+Alonso Poquianchi (Oscar González) Military hardware including electronics are built without the planned obsolescence in mind. That means that the equipment is very rigid and can last for many years.
This is a brilliant monologue!
"OK, alright, we nearly blew up one of the Carolinas, but that's basically why we have two." LMFAO!
Man it's crazy that back in *2014* we actually had a bunch of Homer Simpsons keeping our nuclear warheads "safe"
„Why does the fridge open with stringes, daddy?“ haha die face, the voice. Everything! He is such a genius
I'm grateful that these are uploaded to TH-cam, so that I don't have to bum my sister's HBO Go password to watch it.
Hah, it's you. Fucking weird seeing someone from PS2 randomly here.
ha "bum my sister"
Adam Ryan
To bum = to borrow.
My Dad's family grew up in Goldsboro NC. The rate of cancer among those of lived there is wicked.
The City of Baltimore MD is ringed with abandoned silos were we used to party in the 60-80's.
Watched the video today. "It's probably been a while since you thought about it" yeah, well...
Anyone else feel like buying a reinforced nuclear bunker after watching this?
Yep
Agree this video so makes me want to do it.
Jay Why? Those are unnecessarily expensive. Just use a picnic blanket =)
ZhangtheGreat A picnic blanket really will protect you from a nuclear attack. Nuclear attacks damage with blast, thermal energy, and radiation. Deadly in that order. They give off thermal energy as a form of light. You can survive the blast by duck and cover, and anything which blocks light protects you from the thermal energy. In other words, even a newspaper will protect you from a large effect of a nuclear attack.
People make fun of the whole "duck and cover" thing but even a thin layer provides significant protection against the thermal blast from an atomic bomb. There are several examples of people from Hiroshima and Nagasaki who suffered severe burns on exposed skin while areas covered by clothing were mostly left intact. It seems laughable but "duck and cover" does significantly increase the chance of survival for people more than a couple miles away from ground zero.
+MrClickity Then the radiation will get you because thermal energy and radiation are entirely different things and nothing short of a lead suit will protect you if you are in range. Prevention of burns versus slow death from radiation poisoning.
RainbowHanryu The initial gamma ray burst has a much smaller lethal range than you might think because it rapidly disperses over a large area and doesn't significantly increase with a larger explosive yield. Most of the people who suffered radiation poisoning did so from cumulative effects of the fallout. After all, the air and water was contaminated with radioactive dust for a long time afterward. If you get out of the area quickly (preferably going upwind) you're relatively safe from that.
To give you an idea: with a 20 kiloton bomb (the yield of the Nagasaki bomb) you'd suffer a fatal dose of radiation at anywhere less than 1.8 miles from ground zero but you'd suffer 3rd-degree burns within a 2.5 mile range. Increase the yield to 50 megatons and the gamma burst's effects are negligible because anyone close enough to suffer radiation poisoning from it would be burned to a crisp or completely obliterated by the blast.
Finally, somebody else that gets it.
@@RainbowHanryu "range" for a lethal dose of radiation is very short because inverse-square be like that. Most of the people affected by a nuclear blast won't receive a lethal dose of radiation.
If I was a Major General in charge of nukes, and I saw that they shimmed blast doors open and still use floppys , I'd probably be getting black-out drunk too.
Small correction on the first bit. If you're outside the immediate blast area, which means you're very dead regardless, then yes, being covered by a blanket will help protect you from the flash that would otherwise cook your skin.
Albert Einstein once said that "World War IV would be fought with sticks and stones," implying the purportedly imminent World War III would be so devastating that it would send us back to some primordial sort of antediluvian age. If he were still alive, I think that Einstein would revise his claim to utter extinction, given our world's overwhelming capacity for self-destruction and our seemingly complete disregard for caution. There is this riddle in astrophysics about potential reasons why we haven't discovered intelligent alien life, and this riddle (Fermi's Paradox) posits that it may be in the very nature of intelligent life to self-destruct. Maybe we're nearing the end of our road...
Fermi's Paradox has already been solved by the Corliss Resolution.
From what I've unearthed, that's just a potential explanation and not a case-solving proof. The nature of the paradox asserts that we do not know why, but these are our best guesses. Key word: guesses.
Fgermay are you sure that was Einstein?
vicator5 Yes, I just double-checked to make certain. This is the verbatim quote: “I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.”
Ironically (or hypocritically) he helped invent that destruction.
2014: nowadays we worry less about nuclear annihilation
2018:laughs in atomic devastation.
2020:laughs in real life fallout
2020: *screams*
@@leeladavie9820 Here's to hoping we make it to 2021!
Covid19 : I must protect the Earth from these retards !!
I watch this now and in context with everything thing else I have one thing to say.
WE ARE FUCKED!!!!
that's the same thing...
I am now thoroughly convinced mankind will destroy itself soon and it will be documented through memes...
Omfg, this comment existed before the WW III memes. Are you a fucking time-traveller?
documented by martians*
J V I think that humanity has about fifty years at most probably much Less time before they Destroy it’s self through ignorance and stupidity with a healthy Dose of arrogance thrown in for good measure
That's probably true.
I am convinced The USA will have something to do with it.
'It's probably been a long time since you've thought about it'
Nope, John. Not that long.
1:15 Wow, who could have predicted that 2014 would be considered "a simpler time" so quickly....
It felt like such a shit-show at the time.
To be fair, that old equipment is probably not hackable since it's so old. I could just imagine a windows blue screen on one of those machines.
I agree, its all analog and virtually unhackable. But the lack of physical security and cheating has no excuse.
Well, who needs hacking when you can walk in dressed as the burrito guy?
***** Windows? Too old to even run DOS.
First thought that popped into my head to
***** The other advantage is that modern equipment would not be user serviceable and inspectable by soldiers in the silo. The old equipment can be inspected by eye to determine that is has not been tampered with, and you can actually read a core dump from them and actually tell if the software is correct. New stuff is just way too complicated to be properly inspected by human eyes, you need automated tools for it.
You have to know that it was probably an E-7 Master Sergeant that walked out after his weekend and immediately spotted the nuclear missiles on the bomber and freaked out that no one else had even noticed.
My family is from the goldsboro area. I was back visiting relatives who were alive when it happened, and none of them knew about the incident. they didn't even believe me until i took them out to see the sign and pulled up modern news stories about the incident.
"It's not just their hardware that needs updating, it's their software too!" *Proceeds to show clips of hardware that needs updating*
How the fuck do you ACCIDENTALLY LOAD A NUCLEAR WARHEAD ON A PLANE?! How the fuck does that even happen? Like, I can't even wrap my head around that. Was it just like "alright, let's grab those incendiaries from that massive, important-looking vault over there -- whoops! Turns out that those were NUCLEAR FUCKING WARHEADS.
Put a warhead into an airbomb.
aegideus well you can have missile/bomb that is only a regular explosion or you could have that same missle/bomb loaded with a nuclear warhead, how this mix up was possible in the first place I don't know
Just shows how incompetent Obama is. this guy has no oversight.
Sunflower Sunshine Obama wasn't even president in 2007
Putin was.
John Oliver always has a way of making me live in fear of the downfall of life as we know it, shame for my country, pride that I am not one of the blubbering idiots who are in favor of whatever horrendous thing America's doing , and then shame again because I am not really doing anything to stop it.
Your last statement brings up the question: what could we do about it? I don't know about you but, to me, it seems like the American people don't really have a lot of political power.
YouShouldRepeatThat I feel like our social movements will be digital. We have the power to voice our opinions and impact legislation and policy, the problem is none of us really have the motivation to do it, or like in your case, know of a way to use your power. Every one of us has the power and voice to talk to our representatives. This is our local congress members for state issues and federal congress members for national issues. They all have email addresses and phone numbers. They really will hear you. They have staff members that reply within 24 hours. Things can get done, all it takes is a enough people to say something.
Nuclear weapons aren't all that dangerous in accidents.Modern warheads are designed to withstand impact, explosions, and fire without "going off" or leaking radioactive material.
The state of our arsenalillustrates what Colin Powell said; nuclear weapons are useless for us. Their only use is EOTWAWKI It's the same with the Russians and Chinese. Stalemate. For a terrorist group they would be pure gold. If al Quaeda used one we could hardly nuke them back. we'd mostly just kill civilians. Been there, done that.
The nuclear command is a dead-end career killing posting. that's why it is full of unmotivated folks. We should rotte people through and find a way for them to take it seriously.
John actually failed to mention the real reason why these senators wan't more Nukes in their state. Building Nukes takes people who then have jobs who get good money and pay taxes. The real reason we still have Nukes is the same reason we make more tanks it creates high level jobs.
It's good to know you are so easily brainwashed. The Ukraine gave up its nukes, things are going wonderfully for them. Also, this old technology is literally un-hackable. Where as with our modern technology, the Chinese stole the plans for the F-35. It's sad to see the sickness of the left infect the nation, but all things come to an end.
Ah, a great time for a refresher!
Yupp !
So I've been binge watching Last Week Tonight clips for the last couple days, and I can't help but feel helplessly confused at how amazingly stupid the people leading the world seem to be. We pass bills that let us keep nuclear warheads, even though they are literally of no use in these quantities. Sure, keep like 10 if you absolutely positively have to feel like you could pulverize your enemies if you wanted to, but 4800 is just so damn many, it doesn't make any sense.
Meanwhile, bills that enable donations of food that would otherwise be thrown in the garbage are completely rewritten to the point that they have nothing to do with food donations anymore. Restrictions and removal of lead in households is being pushed aside. We complain that we don't have the money to change anything, yet we spend ridiculous sums of money on shit we don't actually need. So many things that seem so blatantly obvious, yet for some reason, the people who have the power to change them seem to be completely oblivious to them.
Also don't forget the rampant corruption, the terrible state of infrastructure, de-regulation of sectors allowing for companies to do whatever they want, terrible justice system, and so on.
And the more I watch this show, the more I look to my country and say, "Wow, you're not nearly as bad actually."
***** Yea, it's a nice country. But honestly, I wouldn't really want to.
C. Phil Moore No, I mean, I wouldn't really want to stay in Japan. I've been there for a couple of times and yes, the people are really polite. But I just have this mindset where, "Yes, this is a good place to live in, but you know what, I feel most comfortable in Indonesia." Like seriously, we might have a lot of problems here, like religious and racial discriminations (mainly from some fanatical idiots who don't know wtf they're talking about; recently this one guy said, "We want a Muslim native Indonesian to be our President." OUR INCUMBENT PRESIDENT WAS BORN TO NATIVE INDONESIAN PARENTS IN INDONESIA AND HE PRACTICES MUSLIM, YOU TWAT), corruptions, severe environmental, education, population, economic, and infrastructure issues, as well as several political bullshits. But things are looking up. So I'm fine where I am.
Don Korb while I agree most of the people leading our countries seem to be incompetent. There is no one on any youtube, or any other, comment section that knows more than 1% of what being a leader of these countries entails. There are probably innumerable different issues about things we have no idea about that happen every day. There could be hundreds of terrorist threats stopped every week that don't get media attention to avoid scaring the shit out of everyone. Look at what happens when one person gets shot in some made up racial issue. Imagine what would happen if there were this many terrorist threats and people knew about them all.
Tldr: I'm not saying I know anything about any of these issues, I'm just saying that no one else does either.
I always like John Oliver's suits
I was just thinking that. He looks so smart and dapper in those suits. =D
***** Oh, is that a bad thing? No, really.
Praise be John's suits
Well fitted, classic design and styling. That kind of tailoring can make almost anyone look respectable. The accent is a cherry on top of a classy sundae.
yes he has awesome suits
There is a reason the software for nuclear facilities is so old. Having old technology that is not connected to outer networks significantly reduces the need for cyber security. Without being connected they do not need to worry about the risk of cyber attacks.
+Bryan Wallace They just have to take care of that with a closed network way. The same they use now, but just with better hardware and software.
+Stănculescu Ionuț Andrei Well if it's better hardware and software then it isn't the same. If you keep it on a closed system with digital hardware, there is still the possibility of a stuxnet like situation.
Well, I mean stuxnet still happened. You just can't be hacked from an outside source.
Thanks YT for bringing this back in the loop
Can they give this guy a Pulitzer?... a really good award of some sorts. Great efing job!
Agree. An Emmy, at the very least. John Oliver's vids on TH-cam actually make me look forward to Monday, which is an award-worthy achievement in my books.
Yuppi Sevenuppi Yeah, they should definitely make that a thing. Who do we talk to to get this thing made? =D
7:10 sounds like an awesome night to me to be honest
We might as well be the kids next door. Heck they're a better organization
Hell yeah they are. 😎
Codename: Marky Mark
US: "Nukes are sensless now!"
V. Putin: "Hold my beer!"
Russia's nuclear preparedness is in even worse condition than the U.S. They can't even invade Ukraine without running out of fuel.
@@valoredramack9117 Thats true. Probably...
@@Blues666 - Thankfully it has been proven true…
Americans: “hey can we maybe not have the risk of nuclear annihilation?”
Government: “let’s take those pesky birth control pills and internets away”
Adam Jolly like he said later , public have to give enough of a shit to change
When my week is going well, I like to remind myself of what life really is like by watching old episodes of last week tonight
I wish I hadn't done that to myself, because now I'm horrified and can't even eat breakfast
to be honest, the fact that these silos are floppy disc operated is probably the safest thing about them. i wouldnt want someone with a fucking iphone entering launch codes via an app.. worse yet, apples involvement. yes, please keep the floppy. or better yet, make it punch cards.
See there's allowing the technology to be antiquated to a certain level on purpose for security reasons and then there's needlessly outdated technology.
In countless cases companies were hacked by infected USB flashdrives lying around in a parking lot. Modern technology in combination with incompetent staff is not a good combination, and I can guarantee you that at least a few people in every nuclear base are stupid enough to fall for this. Also, last year a couple of ATM machines were hacked via USB ports, something that you wouldn't expect to be possible.Experience has shown that the majority of people greatly overestimate their technical knowledge and abilities, and in general IT security is *never* up to date except everybody involved does their job really well and has the necessary budget.
Oh, and one more example: The computer virus which destroyed Irans nuclear centrifuges was deployed via USB flashdrives too. Nobody noticed for months. Using remotely modern technology would be plain stupid imho, it's too complex.
Perhaps someone has mentioned this but the #1 reason our defense forces use that "outdated" technology is because it is the only thing capable of standing up to the radiation and EMPs of keeping and using nuclear weaponry. Even NASA still uses "old" tech on spacecraft for the exact same reason. Modern microprocessors are easily wiped out by the high energy particles present outside our atmosphere.
Mouse GrayEagle I don't think that's the reason, all the nuclear controls are probably underground and shielded anyways. And if a nuclear blast can wipe modern computers, floppy disks and old harddrives don't have a chance either.
The whole story about the general in Russia at the restaurant is fucking hysterical; I absolutely loved it!
Imagine being an American Tourist in Russia you decide to go to a Mexican restaurant in red square only to find out there is two star American general on a drunken bender
So I could walk into a rocket silo while the guards are sleeping fill in the "Rocket silo 101" test with answer sent to me by my friends and then throw a socket into the silo to start WW 3?
Don't forget they would probably still accept you even if you were a radical islamist chopping off the heads of your instructors.
No! It will just result in nuclear leak like fukushima ...
you can't launch the warhead....without the codes and for safety the guidance.targeting systems are kept disassembled. In addition the nuke warhead and rocket body are also kept disassembled not only for safety but for maintenance and its contentions requires its to be stored in its own special place i.e. radioactive
BUt close enough for it to assembled and ready to launch within an hour.......
remember.......these nukes aren't the first ones used........the first ones take off from our submarines and warships....faster delivery
Correct
How would blowing up your own country start WW3? You'd just kill a lot of animals(including humans) and ruin a lot of land.
First off it wouldn't leak like fukushima. There is a very significant difference between a working reactor and a nuclear warhead. While the warhead hasn't reached critical mass it's pretty dormant when it comes to radiation. Also i'm sorry but nuclear missiles are not stored disassembled. Even the earliest models only needed to be fueled. Since hypergolic fuels as well as solid fuels were invented it became possible to store the rockets in a ready to launch condition. And it's been done so ever since. If it comes to war those missiles will be launched at the same time the subs launch theirs. There is no "second strike" in nuclear war because with every missile you don't fire you risk the enemy being able to launch another one of theirs.
Apart from the "office" where the officers that turn the keys sit the silos aren't even manned. There would be noone there to assemble the rockets.
A STRANGE GAME
THE ONLY WINNING MOVE IS NOT TO PLAY
HOW ABOUT A NICE GAME OF CHESS?
th-cam.com/video/MpmGXeAtWUw/w-d-xo.html
True
GREETINGS PROFESSOR FALCON
That's why I'm proud to be a Canadian!
+WasabiPie:P The nuclear fallout doesn't give a fuck about borders. If tragedy strikes, you will feel it. There are Silos in North Dacota.
lol as if the blast will not get you for being canadian
+crewmate you misspelled Dakota so... Canada would be fine with that spelling
+WasabiPie:P No, you wont be soon...If Trump wins that is...Guess whos going to become head of energy bureau including take carer of USA nuclear weapon arsenal?...Yes Sarah world ender fucking Palin...Now what could possible go wrong with this one?
+Christian Sosa nah blast isn't the problem, regina is the closest major city to north dakota, 273 km. fall out is the problem. Luckily i live 1400km from the border so I'm relatively safe
It’s been exactly 10 years since the article at 1:39 was published.
By the way, there is good reason to store data on floppy disks. Unlike SSD, Hardrives and more, they are not susceptible to data loss.
All storage is susceptible to data loss, whether it's an SSD, Floppy Disk, or heck, even books and cave paintings.
As for floppy disks, I'm not an expert, but they're magnetic storage, so their lifespan is still bound to a few decades at most due to the magnets slowly degrading over time.
floppies are actually pretty good as storage as long you do not use it very often and not put magnetic field nearby.
Magnetic tape is probably the best bet. It is still used to store vast quantities of a variety of archive data in many companies.
Penguin Design they are unhackabke
dont worry guys they always have hard copies as well. no one is that naive to just rely on these floppy shaloopy
"Dr. Strangelove " was ahead of it's time... Kubrick was a genius.
You spelled Vonnegut wrong
and Terry Southern, and Peter Sellers
Rui Azul he is an artist especially when the best scene with Slim Pickins is still one of the greatest scenes ever
@@Gypsy-Tongue when Slim Pickins put on that cow boy hat on i fell of the seat in laughter
I recently released a music video with an original song about nuclear war. Features small clips from Strangelove..love Sellers as the Pres. Hope you'll give it a listen. th-cam.com/video/IP31choIuRg/w-d-xo.html
Fun fact, The Day After was so extreme that it caused several nuclear weapons scientists to quit.
Source: Nuclear Rites: A weapons laboratory at the end of the cold war, Gusterson 1996
You think "The Day After" was bad, check out "Threads."
Fun Fact: The Day After left Reagan so gobsmacked he reassessed his whole attitude on nukes. Before he ended his second term, he (or his people - he had Alzheimers by then) had negotiated MASSIVE reductions in nukes with the Soviets, and he's the only elected Republican official ever to state the goal of eliminating nukes entirely. The movie didn't cause all that, but it was the slap in the face that woke him up. Source: It's all in his diary, and he was proud of his arms reduction work with Gorby.
Other fun fact: @Kyle Blank is onto something. Threads is a far more disturbing movie. It's about real people, not all-American stereotypes. They're not all terribly likable. They're just so human, and that makes it hurt so much more. And it never ends!!! The Day After sounds like a movie that ends the next day. No, it goes on for a few weeks. But Threads doesn't stop! The worst of it doesn't just happen in a few weeks. The worst of it goes on and on.
Worse than either of those two, IMO, was the 1966 BBC film The War Game. It was made for broadcast in 1965 but the BBC decided it was too disturbing to air. They gave it a limited theatrical release in 66. It won the Oscar in 1967 for best documentary, though it wasn't strictly a documentary. (Very impressive for a 'foreign" film.) It's damn disturbing. The Brits know how to make low budget movies by employing the most innovative directors and absolute geniuses for actors, down to the smallest part, even (especially) the children. If you don't value a good night's sleep, I dare you to watch it!
If the US is taking care of their nukes that badly, I can't even imagine what, if anything, Russia is doing with theirs.
Somehow i dont think it could get worse. Russia (well Putout) probably wants to actually use them.
Lets just hope if they do, it makes a sad "wop wop wop woooooop" sound
If I recall from an article I read decades ago, when the USSR folded there was a bunch of nukes "lost".
My hope (both because it would save the world and because its hilarious) would be that, in a nuclear war, the US and Russia would turn the key... only for nothing to happen. The nukes, due to poor maintenance, wouldn't function and the world would be saved by incompetence.
Pretty sure they take better care of their nukes. Given the fact that it‘s an autocratic country where failure can mean execution, meanwhile in America, failures get a cushy job in another facility.
@@RodneyG669
The US lost nukes too…
i'm not a conspiracy theorist, but I'm genuinely curious if the US would own up to accidentally nuking itself. Like, if the Goldsboro Incident actually did end with explosions, would we actually be all, "Yeah, that was my B, sorry, man," or would we blame a foreign country? It was the 60s, we could easily blame the Soviet Union if we wanted.
CasaiAgicap probably maybe definitely
I don't think, A lot was at stake in the cold war and the soviets weren't that stupid to do it because that would be the end of the word .
Though that is an interesting point, i doubt they would blame a foreign power. The best case scenario after doing so is war....worst case is thermonuclear extinction. All over a socket wrench :)
They'd probably blame a terrorist or pin it on a fall guy.
They could also claim that it was a test, and it went as wanted.
(although it might be hard to explain why they did kill thousands for people for a test...)
*War.*
*War never changes.*
war changes
chibani You clearly don't get the reference, pal.
Tamaki742 ahaha cod?
Kelvin Patino Nah, Fallout 4, which is fitting. It'd be cooler in David Hayter's Solid Snake voice, but sadly MGS4's quote was "War has changed."
Tamaki742 exactly why I am not donating a cent to charity until I die- when my money had been sitting in a mutual fund for my whole life.
I will will the money to charity.
15:02 That would be an amazing way to end 2020 tbh
There's still one month left to do that.
@@user-wl4ex5fd6j "Yeah! We're still here!" -- _WarGames_
"Let's recap, in the last six months we were in a situation where in the event of us launching a nuclear strike, the president's command would have gone through a man gambling with fake poker chips who would have then tried to call a drunk guy wrestling with a Russian George Harrison who have then called someone with a bag full of burritos to wake up an officer and tell him to go grab an LP size floppy disk and begin the solemn process of ending the world the world as we know it." Priceless.
It's 12 months not 6
vs Putin having all the world's nukes (Oh, that's right Putin failed to get Le Pen as his Puppet in France, so there would be some western nukes in france).
This is now my winning hand with Cards Against Humanity
That is even more insane than the story of Dr Strangelove and that was considered a satire at the time! Real life is even worse than that...
I love John Oliver so much hahaha
As we used to say in the anti-nuke movement back in the 1980s: A nuclear bomb can ruin your whole day.
I am a simple man
When I see funny looking owl man air gutairing to nuclear bombs. I click.
Old Hardware is often much Safer and less prone to glitches. Nasa for example only uses decades old Chips for their rovers because they are much more reliable and resistent against glitches from high energy particles.
Yes! Analog tech is so much more reliable than digital. NASA has it right. I also don't like everything be wireless, like the Russians hacking the gas pipe earlier this year. Use a private cable transmission and local server that has no internet connection. It's scary how much critical infrastructure is connected to the internet.
I hope no one is stupid enough to connect any part of nuclear missiles to the internet...
Watching this on the same day trump tweeted ""North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un just stated that the “Nuclear Button is on his desk at all times.” Will someone from his depleted and food starved regime please inform him that I too have a Nuclear Button, but it is a much bigger & more powerful one than his, and my Button works!""
Nukes....they take all the fun out of going to war.
+DAK454 you mean war games? sure you don't mean killing and invading other countries is fun in the real world?
It was a joke calm down
+Aiden Nelson Thank you
+DAK454 That's actually a huge political point, we'd probably be having world wars every 20 years if it wasn't for nukes making us all think twice about large scale warfare
+DAK454 I always thought about it in the opposite way. Nukes are the logical conclusion of war and embody it better than any metaphor could. People don't like nukes because people don't like war. The only ones who do aren't those who've been through it, but the generation after looking back and romanticizing on their predecessors' accomplishments.
I literally laughed out loud with the Oregon Trail reference, I remember playing that on a smaller floppy disk in elementary school. Oh, Timmy died of sedentary.
This remains my favourite episode because I remember listening to it from outside my legendary grandparents' bedroom as they watched it on TV and it was so funny that I remembered it specifically despite the fact that they watched John regularly. They both passed away recently at the ages of 94 and 102 and left a legacy in me of enjoying Last Week Tonight and life-long learning. My grandma was a human encyclopedia who read books every day on every topic under the sun and would have conversations with my engineer grandpa, one of the first people to view Sputnik 1 from a telescope, about politics, economics, physics, you name it. My grandma would also listen to far-right radio like Rush Limbaugh and John Savage and one day my mom asked her why and she said because she "wanted to know what the enemy was saying" 😂