I am 51, and don't want a relationship ever again. But I'm here to gain knowledge so I can help my daughter gain knowledge when she starts dating when she gets older.
I listened to you for one year straight, rewired my brain and went from nice girl with no boundaries to becoming smart with standards 😁 so thankyou, for turning my life around
@@Dr.Elaine1 why do men always bring back the past? Everything that happens in our marriage life and his kids or my step kids and my parent. He likes to blame me for everything going wrong in our marriage. I drove him to the other women. He was clean or so i thought from the beginning but then he gone back to drinking, doing drugs, stealing, lying, messing around, cannot hold a job, and the whole works.
Sometimes trust cannot be earned back once lost, especially when the other person knew that what they were doing was a dealbreaker and hurtful to you. Other times, if you forgive, do it from your heart and don't hold the mistakes against them, just make sure they've proven a change with actions and they know if they do it one more time, they lose you because your heart is not a toy for anyone to play with.
I had to forgive my husband and a friend from church....Not sure if it turned sexual or not, but emotional for sure.The worse thing is to have someone,& still be lonely...So now I left,& I am now healing, God has been faithful to me and my joy is returning. I was level 10 and couldn't take it.another day....Thanks Tony for all you do to help us women.I appreciate you & your wife.God bless
Forgiveness sets you free. It doesn’t mean accepting the behavior and taking the person back. Sometimes forgiveness means forgiving yourself and moving on. I just a 2-part video on my TH-cam channel called: How to Forgive Yourself for the Bad Choices You Made.
Exactly pay attention to your deal breakers. Because if not those are the things that will definitely come back to bite you. And I mean hard so I’ve learned.
This subject matter plays a major role in relationships !! Everyone’s perspective is not the same . Great job Tony! Response not react. I had to learn this the hard way.
I don't believe that I will ever be able to love like I've never been hurt before. And that's OK with me. I am now at an point in my life where I am happy being single. I love my me time!
That's exactly what I did when I was evaluating my relationship to decide whether to go or try to work it out, but at the end I asked myself this one question. Do I love him or myself more. This was enough for me to make up my mind. I chose me. Now, I've been happier single than in the relationship.
I have always struggled with anger , resentments, and unforgiveness. I have been working on it with a therapist and 12 step sponsor, and it is getting better. I was told that resentments only hurt you, not the wrongdoers. I had to write down my resentments and how they affected me to see the damage to motivate me to let go. I also had to write down my part in the resentments so I could see where i was in the wrong, make amends, change behaviors, build my character and reconcile relationships if appropriate. Obviously there are some situations you don't play a part like if you were abused. I really get into psychology and human behavior so I like to understand why people act how they do for example mental illness. It helps to have compassion on them and to wish them well. This is NOT justifying or condoning it just helps to understand, have compassion, and wish them well. Its also not good to get revenge, not only because of consequence but they will get their karma and there will be justice. If it motivates them to change and make amends be happy for them.
Sometimes when trust is broken it can’t come back but yes definitely forgiveness is needed especially for yourself . I had a partner who emotionally cheated and was a constant lier and sneaky /secretive with his phone and a few other the other things mentioned with flirting with woman at the job and social Media/dating appps, and he was would not keep his word . This was the longest relationship I was in for 4 years. And when I left for real he would always tell me he changed and reminds me of the boy who cried wolf . So this time I wonder if he really did changed . I was in a four year relationship we got together at 21 . I forgave him but I’ve been at peace being on my own and glowing a lot more . I will definitely apply this for my future relationships.
If leopard can change their spots. Saying things and their actions speaks louder than their words. Be happy he change. I go about my business and let him go. He had his chance with you many times already and he risk it all bc you were not important enough to him. If he love you he would move heaven and earth for you at any cost but he didnt. Good luck.
The Categories, and the Scales for Emotional/Verbal/Physical Abuse are golden, and certainly help with being more clear with my communication with my girlfriend.
Bro Tony you are truly a amazing Man of God, am truly grateful for your teaching it's helping me. continue to be blessed and I just pray that God will pour out in your life and family . I pray that your cup just be full with so much blessing to come your way. 🙏🏾🤗
Man, listen. I'm not about to keep forgiving people who keep doing foul stuff to me. I tend to make wise decisions because I take love seriously. Doesn't matter if it's fam, friend or lover. If that's not the page, these people are on, I'm hopping of the channel. Different frequency. I've got things to do and forgiving folks over & over again ain't one of them. Causing me PTSD. smh Never. Get yo' shiggidy together, playa. I did. I'm gone. ✌🏾 That's just my 2 cents lol Hey, Uncle Tony 🥰
That's why he was talking about having boundaries and deal breakers. Forgiveness is not just letting anyone walk all over you. It's understanding that some people may make mistakes sometimes, and if it wasn't intentional or repeated, it could be something you can let go of. Deal breakers are things you can't stay in the relationship over, but you still forgive so you don't harbor anger in your heart, which is more hurtful to you than anyone.
As soon as I seen your name pop up on my screen I immediately clicked I love your videos please continue to post them I look forward to seeing you daily
AMEN 🙏🏽 You can’t just trust in people because human nature…. Yes they have the capacity to love you, but Humans are flawed (THEY) will try you, test you, take advantage of you, etc (if) you are not cognizant, presence, and alert! You MUST be loved, appreciated, respected, not taken for granted at the end of the day then LEAVE! Or if you STAY DO THE WORK … don’t skip .. BOTTOM LINE To thy own self you must be true to truly be any good to someone else and especially yourself ❤️
Tony… lol just like you can’t hold a drop of water 💧 in a gallon jug talking about gifts or surprises for your (so cute btw) The knowledge you share simply overflows …. Thank you 🙏🏽
Next, We all have one life to live, love is love, love should never include: hitting or physical 🤕 abuse , point blank period, I'm not a punching bag. Amen.
Thanks MR. TONY GASKINS Sr. for supporting my business AGAIN..I appreciate you and pray one day I am able to send you a CHECK...not a little one either!!
Hey Tony! 👋🏾 At least bravity rhymes with gravity! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I know what you meant!☺️ I have taken this lesson and others you’ve done previously, it doesn’t get tired. These are the things we need etched in our minds and in our hearts cause it does us no good to to ignore them! Thank you for your wisdom!🙏🏾😎
God forgives every and all sins. If He can, then who are we not to forgive? Forgiveness is not about the offender, it is for the person who was offended. When we forgive we are positioning ourselves to learn, heal and move forward. Forgiveness does not grant the offender a free pass to offend again. Hold the offender accountable, maintain your standards and be open to either moving forward or walking away. Forgiveness empowers.
What about if you have been with someone (married ) since you were 22 (now 32) and the things that weren’t a deal breaker when you were young (even though they should have been) are now? How do you set standards later on and or decide to leave when they don’t respect your standards now?
Agreed me don't often hear your words after so many years but they understand your absence... like me you may have to leave even just to get him to see something is wrong also start now addressing how he talks and treats you.
If a man is caught cheating, is confronted yet he tirelessly denies it since there is no physical, digital incriminating evidence, should it be a wrap when actual undeniable evidence is produced and he now admits his infidelity. Is he truly sorry or sorry because he got caught. Thanks
He’s sorry he got caught. Then there are two factors at play…he not only cheated but he lied too. Then the question should be to oneself…why would I want to be with a cheater and a liar?
@@allthingsmelanietj5545 he knew what he was doing. He is not into you so he cheat n lies. Your not the one he wants otherwise he never cheat if your the one he love.
My partner wants me to forgive him for offenses that I treat as a standard because he forgave me. That in turn makes me think I need to lower my standards. I didn't tell them to forgive so why should I lower mines ugh😫
Mr. Gaskins, I love you and you are always ruining your wife's surprises 😂. We love you, we do, but stop spilling the beans. You can't hold a drop of water in a gallon jug because you love you wife that much 🤣💖. Thanks for the video as always, I feel like I'm always going from your life experience. Blessings 💕.
How do you forgive your S O, when he compares you to a family member smh 🤦🏾♀️ In terms of saying that person is more attractive and/or better curves &face I just can’t bring a man around who’s attracted to my family. It’s humiliating and embarrassing.
I would respond to that by saying, "oh, then allow me to remove myself from your life so you can find the attractive woman you are looking for, since I don't seem to be that for you." Then I grab my bag and leave. That's just me, personally. But I enjoy seeing the looks on their faces when I come out the mouth like that. That makes it easier for me to forgive them.
@@socialdistancingon8333 I broke up with him. He tried to get me back by saying it was just words, not actually cheating. I’d be too embarrassed to bring him around, knowing that someone else would have his attention over me. Thinking about what he’d do behind my back since he was that bold to say it in front of my face. It definitely made me feel like I was lacking.😣
Jesus Christ came into the world for the forgiveness of sins. Then why is it so hard for us to forgive when God sent his son to forgive us without incident? It shouldn’t be so hard then, but it is.
I always look at it this way. Our Saviour knew us so we'll, and how unforgiving we are that He said forgive 70×7. That being everyday...that's why we need Him, because on our own it's impossible to forgive some things, and we easily forget we've also hurt others..
Who else is single watching and gaining knowledge for the future
Me
That’s how it should be done
🙋🏾♀️
🙋🏿♀️
I am 51, and don't want a relationship ever again. But I'm here to gain knowledge so I can help my daughter gain knowledge when she starts dating when she gets older.
I listened to you for one year straight, rewired my brain and went from nice girl with no boundaries to becoming smart with standards 😁 so thankyou, for turning my life around
“Forgive, and you don’t remind them of the offense again.” OR “Forgive them, and you Forget them.” TG
Good wisdom
I am forgiving but my hubby doesnt forget and he brings it up all the time. He mess up big time but dont want to own it.
Yes to forgive is to not remind them of the error made but to move forward and dont be looking back.
@@disnalee
If you would like to share, what was the outcome of your conversations with him about it?
@@Dr.Elaine1 why do men always bring back the past? Everything that happens in our marriage life and his kids or my step kids and my parent. He likes to blame me for everything going wrong in our marriage. I drove him to the other women. He was clean or so i thought from the beginning but then he gone back to drinking, doing drugs, stealing, lying, messing around, cannot hold a job, and the whole works.
Sometimes trust cannot be earned back once lost, especially when the other person knew that what they were doing was a dealbreaker and hurtful to you. Other times, if you forgive, do it from your heart and don't hold the mistakes against them, just make sure they've proven a change with actions and they know if they do it one more time, they lose you because your heart is not a toy for anyone to play with.
Thank you 🙏🏾 and yes somethings you can’t come back from
Trust is like a vase. One broken, it can be put back together again but its not the same once it shatters to pieces.
I had to forgive my husband and a friend from church....Not sure if it turned sexual or not, but emotional for sure.The worse thing is to have someone,& still be lonely...So now I left,& I am now healing, God has been faithful to me and my joy is returning. I was level 10 and couldn't take it.another day....Thanks Tony for all you do to help us women.I appreciate you & your wife.God bless
When you use words that feel and sound good is why I support😂 it’s like that sometimes
Forgiveness sets you free. It doesn’t mean accepting the behavior and taking the person back. Sometimes forgiveness means forgiving yourself and moving on. I just a 2-part video on my TH-cam channel called: How to Forgive Yourself for the Bad Choices You Made.
I noticed a lot of times with what you're speaking on people come up with excuses for their partner with hopes that the situation will get better
Ladies we deserve a man like tony!!
All the way from Nigeria 🇳🇬 Always here to learn and relearn and practice what I've learnt. God bless you Mr. Tony. You're definitely changing lives.
Exactly pay attention to your deal breakers. Because if not those are the things that will definitely come back to bite you. And I mean hard so I’ve learned.
This subject matter plays a major role in relationships !! Everyone’s perspective is not the same . Great job Tony! Response not react. I had to learn this the hard way.
I don't believe that I will ever be able to love like I've never been hurt before. And that's OK with me. I am now at an point in my life where I am happy being single. I love my me time!
YOU HAVE TO PROTECT YOU! Felt that .. ppl most definitely will take advantage so set boundaries off the rip. Know what to tolerate and what not💯
That's exactly what I did when I was evaluating my relationship to decide whether to go or try to work it out, but at the end I asked myself this one question. Do I love him or myself more. This was enough for me to make up my mind. I chose me. Now, I've been happier single than in the relationship.
I have always struggled with anger , resentments, and unforgiveness. I have been working on it with a therapist and 12 step sponsor, and it is getting better. I was told that resentments only hurt you, not the wrongdoers. I had to write down my resentments and how they affected me to see the damage to motivate me to let go. I also had to write down my part in the resentments so I could see where i was in the wrong, make amends, change behaviors, build my character and reconcile relationships if appropriate. Obviously there are some situations you don't play a part like if you were abused. I really get into psychology and human behavior so I like to understand why people act how they do for example mental illness. It helps to have compassion on them and to wish them well. This is NOT justifying or condoning it just helps to understand, have compassion, and wish them well. Its also not good to get revenge, not only because of consequence but they will get their karma and there will be justice. If it motivates them to change and make amends be happy for them.
Sometimes when trust is broken it can’t come back but yes definitely forgiveness is needed especially for yourself . I had a partner who emotionally cheated and was a constant lier and sneaky /secretive with his phone and a few other the other things mentioned with flirting with woman at the job and social Media/dating appps, and he was would not keep his word . This was the longest relationship I was in for 4 years. And when I left for real he would always tell me he changed and reminds me of the boy who cried wolf . So this time I wonder if he really did changed . I was in a four year relationship we got together at 21 . I forgave him but I’ve been at peace being on my own and glowing a lot more . I will definitely apply this for my future relationships.
If leopard can change their spots. Saying things and their actions speaks louder than their words. Be happy he change. I go about my business and let him go. He had his chance with you many times already and he risk it all bc you were not important enough to him. If he love you he would move heaven and earth for you at any cost but he didnt. Good luck.
@@disnalee 🙏🏾🕊 I appreciate your message
@@aaliyahs9594 life is quite a long journey of learning and living. Live well n be happy. Stay true.
Amen!
Tony’s personality is one in a million.
Taking notes fir my next relationship
The Categories, and the Scales for Emotional/Verbal/Physical Abuse are golden, and certainly help with being more clear with my communication with my girlfriend.
Thank you sooooooooo much for your honesty. Your truthful message is very impactful. I am very appreciative that I found your videos.
Much needed to hear . Forgiveness has to be honest on both sides. But when the trust is broken again when do you do .
Let go and let God sis #CheeksCheeks much love sis.
Love your Gold your rocking on your new avatar 💛sis.🤝
👑👝🤗🤝
@@coachnatishamommatish144 thank u ☺️
THAT! Indeed is WISDOM my brother may Elohym keep both you and your marriage 💑
Bro Tony you are truly a amazing Man of God, am truly grateful for your teaching it's helping me. continue to be blessed and I just pray that God will pour out in your life and family . I pray that your cup just be full with so much blessing to come your way. 🙏🏾🤗
These videos put me in a different zone that is my vacation.😌😌😌😌
Man I feel you!!! Part of my morning routine at this point..
Tony!!!!! As soon as you said "I will find you" in your Liam Neeson voice it went straight to commercial. I burst out laughing.
Thank You Tony you're saving lives you saved this life here cause I've got to get my self confidence back Thank you so much...
Man, listen. I'm not about to keep forgiving people who keep doing foul stuff to me. I tend to make wise decisions because I take love seriously. Doesn't matter if it's fam, friend or lover. If that's not the page, these people are on, I'm hopping of the channel. Different frequency. I've got things to do and forgiving folks over & over again ain't one of them. Causing me PTSD. smh Never. Get yo' shiggidy together, playa. I did. I'm gone. ✌🏾 That's just my 2 cents lol Hey, Uncle Tony 🥰
That's why he was talking about having boundaries and deal breakers. Forgiveness is not just letting anyone walk all over you. It's understanding that some people may make mistakes sometimes, and if it wasn't intentional or repeated, it could be something you can let go of. Deal breakers are things you can't stay in the relationship over, but you still forgive so you don't harbor anger in your heart, which is more hurtful to you than anyone.
DROPPING SOME GEMS SIR! 🔥🔥🔥
As a young man i definitely did some of these things as well lol. Dam T.G talk truth 💪🏾💪🏾
Amen Tony! Be BLESSED!!!!
Grand Rising, Blessed Tribe fams& Tony!🤝
Very truthfully well said Tony, no need to search all truth always comes to the light nah" that's a Fact Blessed Tribe fam's!.
Hey momma T ✋😇
Listening.
As soon as I seen your name pop up on my screen I immediately clicked I love your videos please continue to post them I look forward to seeing you daily
AMEN 🙏🏽 You can’t just trust in people because human nature…. Yes they have the capacity to love you, but Humans are flawed (THEY) will try you, test you, take advantage of you, etc (if) you are not cognizant, presence, and alert! You MUST be loved, appreciated, respected, not taken for granted at the end of the day then LEAVE! Or if you STAY DO THE WORK … don’t skip .. BOTTOM LINE To thy own self you must be true to truly be any good to someone else and especially yourself ❤️
Tony… lol just like you can’t hold a drop of water 💧 in a gallon jug talking about gifts or surprises for your (so cute btw) The knowledge you share simply overflows …. Thank you 🙏🏽
Thank you for your videos...
This was so good!
Be blessed thank you for the valuable information!
Thanks again Mr. Gaskins for the knowledge. I appreciate you for this. May the good lord continue to bless you and your family
I've tried to forgive and he proved to do it more than once....after the trust is gone...I'm done
So thanks for the meaning of "DM." I was wondering what it meant. I felt confused Everytime Mr. Gaskins says DM. 🤗
Be Blessed, Thank you
The word is the work.
Oh no, I'm late for class again, but I'm here and ready to soak up more knowledge! Thanks Tony!
Next, We all have one life to live, love is love, love should never include: hitting or physical 🤕 abuse , point blank period, I'm not a punching bag. Amen.
Beautiful and timely message!
Thanks MR. TONY GASKINS Sr. for supporting my business AGAIN..I appreciate you and pray one day I am able to send you a CHECK...not a little one either!!
This was one of the most helpful videos for me
I love race car driving too it’s the bomb 👍🏼
I can forgive but it takes a lot for me to trust again. I struggle with trusting after 9 years
Appreciate the video Tony!
Be bless.
50:00 is so true. i’m always ready to leave if necessary.
God bless you tony! 🌟🌷
This was Awesome.💚💜💙Thank you Sir. 💚💜💙
Thank You 😊
Hey Tony! 👋🏾 At least bravity rhymes with gravity! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I know what you meant!☺️ I have taken this lesson and others you’ve done previously, it doesn’t get tired. These are the things we need etched in our minds and in our hearts cause it does us no good to to ignore them! Thank you for your wisdom!🙏🏾😎
Brevity is actually a word and he used it correctly 😄.
Single and gaining knowledge!
Alright now Tony, this is a good one
39:35 the final warning
God forgives every and all sins. If He can, then who are we not to forgive? Forgiveness is not about the offender, it is for the person who was offended. When we forgive we are positioning ourselves to learn, heal and move forward. Forgiveness does not grant the offender a free pass to offend again. Hold the offender accountable, maintain your standards and be open to either moving forward or walking away. Forgiveness empowers.
Present 💜
Can you make a video specifically about just emotional cheating from a man to a woman
Please tell me if its possible to fix a relationship that is broken?
Love cannot be force. If your willing but the other person isnt ready its a waste of your time.
When a woman says: "I wanna talk to you!" 😲😲😲🙆♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Seriousness of the offense 😂🤣
I forgive people but you won’t get my trust back again
What about if you have been with someone (married ) since you were 22 (now 32) and the things that weren’t a deal breaker when you were young (even though they should have been) are now? How do you set standards later on and or decide to leave when they don’t respect your standards now?
Just have the conversation. We are allowed to evolve. As Tony always say “you have to be ready to leave and live by that” .
Agreed me don't often hear your words after so many years but they understand your absence... like me you may have to leave even just to get him to see something is wrong also start now addressing how he talks and treats you.
If a man is caught cheating, is confronted yet he tirelessly denies it since there is no physical, digital incriminating evidence, should it be a wrap when actual undeniable evidence is produced and he now admits his infidelity. Is he truly sorry or sorry because he got caught. Thanks
He’s sorry he got caught. Then there are two factors at play…he not only cheated but he lied too. Then the question should be to oneself…why would I want to be with a cheater and a liar?
He wasn’t sorry when you didn’t know about it. This isn’t a court of law, you don’t need evidence. Trust your instincts.
He is still playing and wanting to risk it all. If he wants you, he will not lust after someone else.
@@allthingsmelanietj5545 he knew what he was doing. He is not into you so he cheat n lies. Your not the one he wants otherwise he never cheat if your the one he love.
Know it’s important, but very challenging.
32:45 - 34:45
My partner wants me to forgive him for offenses that I treat as a standard because he forgave me. That in turn makes me think I need to lower my standards. I didn't tell them to forgive so why should I lower mines ugh😫
If both of you are breaking boundaries, it might be time to seriously consider if the relationship should be saved... Not lower your standards.
What do you do when you keep forgiving the offense but there’s no changed behavior?
That person isn’t really sorry and they are intentionally taking your forgiveness for granted. I had that happen to me before. I cut him off
You close the book on them!
Leave
CONSEQUENCES !!!!!
@@stardavis4322 Right....they sho aint sorry
Open up to be transparent in a relationship otherwise it will not work in my book...
Mr. Gaskins, I love you and you are always ruining your wife's surprises 😂. We love you, we do, but stop spilling the beans. You can't hold a drop of water in a gallon jug because you love you wife that much 🤣💖. Thanks for the video as always, I feel like I'm always going from your life experience. Blessings 💕.
Lol can’t hold a single drop 💧lol
Liam Neeson 😂
Hi Tony you have to walk away and do you don't accept miss treatment and know your worth
How do you forgive your S O, when he compares you to a family member smh 🤦🏾♀️
In terms of saying that person is more attractive and/or better curves &face
I just can’t bring a man around who’s attracted to my family. It’s humiliating and embarrassing.
I would respond to that by saying, "oh, then allow me to remove myself from your life so you can find the attractive woman you are looking for, since I don't seem to be that for you." Then I grab my bag and leave.
That's just me, personally. But I enjoy seeing the looks on their faces when I come out the mouth like that. That makes it easier for me to forgive them.
You’re with the wrong person.
@@socialdistancingon8333 I broke up with him. He tried to get me back by saying it was just words, not actually cheating. I’d be too embarrassed to bring him around, knowing that someone else would have his attention over me. Thinking about what he’d do behind my back since he was that bold to say it in front of my face. It definitely made me feel like I was lacking.😣
@@sharingbeauty5063 everything seemed okay but this ,,, I just can’t. My integrity is too important.
Omg....what kind of crap is that..... 😥
Hi To-nay
Rev. Tony is preaching from the relationship Bible again...if you can't say Amen, say ouch!
Lots of good info in here but it’s hard to lock in with adds every 4 minutes
🤣🤣🤣🤣 no such word… sound like me talk shit and makin up words 😅
Jesus Christ came into the world for the forgiveness of sins. Then why is it so hard for us to forgive when God sent his son to forgive us without incident? It shouldn’t be so hard then, but it is.
As you say, “God sent his son to forgive us”, we are human; they are not. Sin impacted the human race not Them. Jesus knew no sin.
I always look at it this way. Our Saviour knew us so we'll, and how unforgiving we are that He said forgive 70×7. That being everyday...that's why we need Him, because on our own it's impossible to forgive some things, and we easily forget we've also hurt others..
Interest rates tall as Shaq took me out 😊
First
Just in time.. my brotha.. smh thank you 🙏
😇😇😇🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻👍