r/InsaneParents - Horrible Parenting 101
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For the parents that said the depression meds were “changing” their child. I bet what they really mean is that the child is harder to control because the meds give them a better sense of self. Which of course leads to higher self esteem and boundary setting.
Or makes them stay away either or
"Hey, your not that weak little kid I can kick around to make myself feel better anymore. Its those meds! Surely it couldn't just be the kids changing on their own?
You mean the kid has the energy to say no? What a concept.
depends on the anti-depressant. Prozac? no, just made me an empty shell. then again absentee single parent mother (there but could care less about us.. i'm the youngest of three) that went to gamble money we didn't have every month at a casino in the big city and played way more bingo than she should have.
When confronted about the casino thing she denied it.. few days later Facebook tells me she replied to a food blog "oh man, I love those. Was one of the reasons I went TO THE CASINO EVERY MONTH." point it out to her two weeks later and she again tries to handwave it away as if not pertinent and that i didn't just call her out on her gaslighting lie.
I particularly liked that "complaint" because it made me question: *what* is the alternative? Medication that changes *nothing*? If it does nothing, is it even medication to begin with? 🤔
With medication, I hope for change (for the better), not for absolutely no change at all because then there's no point in taking the medication. 🤯
Every time someone insinuates that being an adult means i can no longer act childishly, i remember a quote that i believe comes from Henry David Thoreau. "As I grew older, I gave up childish things, such as the fear of being called childish."
There's no such thing as outgrowing enjoyment. How you handle things change but what hobbies you have don't need to change just because of age. It's the same concept with people calling things "girly".
It was CS Lewis: “Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”
Sounds boring, I'll keep playing with Thomas the tank engine toys, thank you
Be a child when you can and an adult when you must
"What's the point in being grown up if you can't be a little childish sometimes?"
When a family member comes at me with a long ass text rant I always wait til they run out of shit to say for at least an hour and then respond with "lol". Six of my aunts and cousins will no longer speak to me, they leave my grandmother's house if I show up, and they think it's their idea. It's amazing.
THATS ABSOLUTELY PERFECT! Im gonna do this to now too!
This works because folks who do long rants want you to respond angrily and try to argue, because it 1, gives them something to respond to so they can "win" arguments by beating you down and 2, if they poke and push you enough to respond very angrily they can play victim. Literally laughing at them works best
these comments making me start laughing so hard i cry is beautifullllll 🤣😂
that is because they care only about their ego not the actual issue. Genius !!!! 🎉
Lol
My ex-wife once complained that my meds were making me "aggressive". I just wasn't putting up with her abusive shit anymore. I'm now divorced and MUCH happier!
Congrats dude, you didn't deserve having to deal with her and her crap
Hell yeah!
Great job mate
You made the right choice there man
So happy for ya mate!
“Your child has had control over you since she was born!” - Yes. Thats called having children. Not furniture.
tbh I'd be concerned if someone's furniture had control over someone.
@@Spoolyghost Your furniture doesn't speak to you? It's just me?
This is from Umineko, but it's probably from something else before that. But... "A woman obeys her parents when she's a child, her husband when she's an adult, and her children when she's older". Paraphrased, of course.
@@brothersandsistersofvalhalla Never heard mine. Anyway, I should probably take my meds, those voices are coming back.
Children do require rules.
But the rules should be sensible, not random, not done out of having a power trip.
Falling asleep in a chair because it's comfy and that's where the cat is, that's not a horrible crime.
Fun fact: threatening to throw someone out on the street because of their gender or sexual identity will destroy not only your relationship, but also destroy the ability to "tell you anything" or come to you with a problem.
But….you’re assuming that they’re going to CARE about what you wrote in the second half. Parents who do that are pretty much “if you aren’t what I want you to be then you’re not my child anymore so go ahead and die, I don’t care”.
And if they do end up not alive, then they’ll milk it for all it’s worth, getting sympathy and attention, while whining “I don’t know what happened , I don’t understand.” And then clutch their pearls about how AWFUL it is to lose a child, and their neighbors and folks will bring them food and casseroles, while they bask in the attention.
True, my mom is transphobic (not threaten to kick you out of the house level, but certainly scary when she goes on anti-trans rants due to me being trans), and wonders why I don’t ask her things or go to her for emotional support.
@@GrumpyOldFart2 those people should absolutely NOT have kids
@@vladimirazubcekova7727exactly, these are the kinds of people that piss you off but you cant do anything about it cause yeah its bad but its not illegal. ;-;
I am very thankful my parents arent like this, cause if they were than i think id be depressed as hell.
My dad needs work, and my mom probably needs to chill about my online safety, and could support me more than she does,but other than that theyre amazing parents, and i feel safe approaching them if i need help with something, even if it goes against my dads christian beliefs. My mom is agnostic and my dad is chritian, but neither push me to believe what they do, aside from my dad prefering me to be christian because he feels that would be good for me.
Throwing your child out on the streets and being blatantly rude, disrespectful, manipulative, and disregarding their mental well-being, is just gonna make them cut contact the day they turn eighteen, and youll never see them again.
In terms of having to "be an adult" my dad always said, "you're only young once, but you can be immature forever!" Words to live by.
Ur dads smort
That doesn’t mean be immature. It’s a warning that age doesn’t equal wisdom.
@@kissit012 well he does like to add that immature doesn't mean irresponsible, just that you can still laugh at fart jokes
Growing old is mandatory.
Growing UP is optional.
@@antonyduhamel1166 precisely!
I was in an abusive relationship for 4 years. The only reason I got out of it is because my mom casually told me "you can always come home." There's some wholesome content for you all.
I'm glad you were able to get out of that situation. Hope you're doing well.
thats something i will always love about my parents: their promise to always keep a bed free for me if something happens I need some time at home with them, whether its escaping a toxic relationship, or just needing a weekend where i don't have the responsibility of looking after myself. and that bed is also open to any partners i may end up with (as long as they don't turn out to be abusive asses). my mum promised to make sure that home was always an option for me and my brother due to her own birth giver making her feel unwelcome the one time she went home for a school holiday after starting uni. every holiday after, she spent at her boyfriends house, and she openly admits that my grandparents are more like parents to her than her own birth giver ever was.
more parents meed to make this into an option. the idea that once you move out, you move out for good is not healthy.
I'm very happy for you and thank you for sharing among all those awful parents stories.
that's beautiful.
makes me believe in hope
When my mom wanted to leave my dad when they were younger her dad told her their house wasn’t her home anymore, it makes me so sad when I think about it.
On the "my child is 8 and cannot read" post my mother had to teach me to read because my teacher failed and gave up. I am autistic with a learning disability and it was a lot worse as a kid. Shed sit with me every night and read me 'the quilt makers gift' helping me with my vowels until I became a reading maniac. I shot up from Pre-K reading levels to college reading level by 3rd grade. I dropped children's picture books in favor of novel series and paleontology/zoology encyclopedias very quickly. Shout out to my mom for being my MVP and always doing her best to advocate for me. Edit: my mom is my best support and most valuable ally in this life. As a mom should be.
My breakthrough book with my mom doing homeschooling was 101 Dalmatians. Specifically the one based on the movie. Frick my 1st grade teacher making me do jump ropes for my stutter.
My book was Charlie and the chocolate factory, I was only little when my mum read it to me and I was so determined to read it myself that I practiced constantly.
@jasmineconstantine6814
Your mum sounds absolutely amazing xx
Yeah, there was nothing wrong with this child. He couldn't read because absolutely no one had ever tried to teach him. The post actually mentioned "unschooling" which is this ridiculous trend of some parents not just not sending their kid to school but not even attempting to homeschool them or have any kind of planned lessons for things like spelling or reading or math. Apparently they believe the child will just pick all the things they need to know up by being alive, even though most don't usually tend to even socialize their kids with others kids of comparable age in any traditional way. It's a whole thing and it's completely stupid. And it usually ends with kids not being able to spell or read or do even basic math at any k8nd of normal age. I think there was another post I saw once about a 10 year old who had the spelling of maybe a 5 year old and the reading ability of maybe not even that. Great parenting. And they somehow believe that this will make their child function better in the world than kids who've had traditional education.
Very heartwarming but don't mind me for thinking its kinda odd to shoot to college reading level so early.
Your mother is the opposite of the crazy moms that we got here.
Small note on the "you're only a kid once", if you didn't have a childhood like me you can still have that childhood in adulthood. You wanna have dinosaur shaped chicken nuggies for dinner while watching Ben 10 as an adult? Do it. It's healing. You wanna get the finger paints out and create a messy, silly image? Do it. It's fun.
There’s no such thing as “too old” for Dino nuggies.
I'm an adult now, if I want cereal for my dinner I can...
Another bonus for eating dino nuggies: they are cheaper than other meats (at least where I’m from) as their price hasn’t increased as much as other products like regular frozen nuggets
Or you could eat ice cream for breakfast
@@chadfalardeau5396 not recommended. Dairy on an empty stomach after a fast (sleep) is awful
Ironically, if a devil wanted to divide that family, they'd target the emotionally unstable mess that mother is.
Honestly that feels like a good explaination for what just happened there
@@xelius2683 Yeah. Beings of darkness LOVE to disguise themselves as righteous when really they're anything but. Pretending that they are God or one of God's servants to trick more vulnerable and/or unintelligent mortals. It's one of the oldest and most common tricks in the book these fiends use.
-Noel Vermillion, armchair exorsist
@@krimsonkatt That explains televangelists...
I don't believe in god but I 100% believe in the concept of wolves in sheeps' clothing. Also believe the saying "the road to hell is paved on good intentions" or, I might have the wording off a bit, dunno where that line actually came from but I've definitely seen more people be extremely divisive while claiming to just want what's best for people then people just outright going main villain mode and being super obviously bad people. Besides... Does it actually make sense to a single person if Satan existed, that he'd target people already straying from "god's path"? Does it make sense he'd use people obviously not on god's side to get at people on god's side? Good for you if you answered no to both questions because the sweetest poison is the most effective. People don't fall for obvious scams so it's the people that present as the most over the top religeous people that're the most likely to be agents of Satan by that logic. Although... I actually believe Satan is playing on easy mode if he exists because humans clearly don't need help to be bad for the sake of their own twisted version of "good", all he did was give humanity a choice and they went cliff diving without a second thought
@@wmdkitty that explain how the church act pretending your god or talking for god without having any contact with mz
17:50
"Family doesn't end in blood, but it doesn't start there either." is probably my favorite life lesson that the show "Supernatural " has taught me.
Shows have helped me in ways my parents have not, and that's saying a lot.
Pretty spot on since the people the Winchester bros met on their adventures (who also had family issues or were alone) were arguably more family to them then anyone in their biological family were (special mention goes to Bobby who actually tried to give them a childhood and act like a dad, and Cass who wasn’t even human but became their closest ally)
Family by definition starts with blood relations or you would not be alive at all.. lol
@@EgoFeederz I’m pretty sure the original metaphor is that family isn’t just defined by blood or being related to someone and that actions and having your back speak louder then biological ties
@2bdaqueen268 Yeah, that's pretty much the intended message.
truths that can coexist:
1. Being a single mother can be an incredibly difficult experience
2. Being a single mother and/or having a rough parenting experience is not an excuse to harass your children, call them liars/corrupted by satan, etc.
Where did u get your pen mate?
3 - concerning 2, do not raise your child like Isaac from the binding of isaac
@@shadowryft HELP NOOOO
@@shadowryft especially when in general, your a single parent due to choices you made
@@shadowryft4 - if you do, be sure to check all Mysterious empty old fashioned chests in the house daily.
That "Beating children for sleeping somewhere not in there bed" Really got my blood pumping. When I was smol I fell asleep on the chair, couch, in the car. All the time. Just like dad! Dad would fall asleep in his chair basically every night while watching something. There is nothing wrong with sleeping or taking a nap when you are comfy somewhere. WTF
My parents always softly wake me up and tell me to move to bed cause it´s more comfy. They still do it sometimes.
Honestly there’s nothing wrong with sleeping outside of the bed. The only time my mother woke me up for not sleeping in bed was when I slept on the floor- all because when I was very tiny and slept on the floor, I got rlly sick.
I don't think I would've made it in a situation like that... :/ I've had mild narcolepsy since my early teens (didn't know til after my first year at college) and I used to fall asleep in a chair in my living room almost every night, using a textbook as my pillow, basically.. :") My parents would sometimes still be up to wake me up nicely and tell me to go to bed, but my heart hurts for the kids that aren't afforded that kindness 💔
When I was small my dad would carry me to bed so I wouldn't wake up confused. Besides that, if someone is sleeping on the couch it's business as usual except quieter 🤷🏼♀️
@@sinandtonic2029 Unfortunately I was to massive of a lad to be carried back when I was smol :,D And yes all as usual "Quieter" was debatable on my end as they never could get me to wake up anyways ^^"
My narcissistic SIL told me on more than one occasion that therapy was "making me worse". Apparently saying "no", having and enforcing boundaries, and calling out her BS is "worse" than being a doormat and ATM. she treats her kids the same way. we don't talk anymore....lol
all of these stories are super familiar and/or believable.
Oof.. I could see my future sister in law turning into that, yikes..
Fish Love NEEDS to be taught to kids in primary school. Seriously. The amount of help that being able to distinguish between "person who cares about me" and "exploiter who cares about what i can do for them" is huge for kids to be able to protect themselves, mentally and physically.
I saw "Fish Love" and thought this comment would be about how some fish actively change gender and have interesting dynamics around making and parenting (eg. Seahorse)...
Marine Biology is fun 👍
yeah, seriously. They can teach you about "the real story of colors" in fourth grad(explanation at the end) but can't teach that usefull stuff.
real stor of colors: it's fake.
it was a "cartoon", but the quality was a 0/10. We needed to redraw what happened in the episode.
Here's what happened in every "cartoon": color1 and color2 mix and make color3.
GUESS HOW FUGGIN LONG WE DID THAT!
7.5 months.
But srsly, start teaching about fish love and lgbtq and not about something that I could've learned back then in 2 hours...
@@jayhackett7240 Before I kept reading (or watched the video) I thought it was about teaching kids to treat fish as living creatures and not like disposable decorations, which is something that more humans need education on!
@@mastermarkus5307 ain't. It's far too common/ normalized. :(
Agreed .
My mom has told me for years, "You're not raising kids, you're raising future adults." My partner and I focus on encouraging curiosity and critical thinking, introspection and emotional awareness. We want our daughters to have the tools necessary to grow into self-sustaining functional adults.
We don't teach obedience. We teach trust and respect. Our daughters listen to us because we've demonstrated that we have good reasons for the things we ask of them. And if they have an issue, they can being it up and we'll talk about it.
THIS!!!! I wish my parents could've learned from you on how to parent properly.
@Kazjonesy Less from myself and partner, more from my parents. I think it's because they both grew up in abusive households and knew they didn't want to be that way. They were curious and independent-minded in households that actively punished questions and independence.
I don't do everything the same way as they did when it comes to parenting (seriously, WEAR SEAT BELTS), but I definitely follow a lot of the same principles.
My mum and dad took this attitude, along with a curiosity on how my sister and would grow up and learning along with us about the way the world would work for our generation, what my sister and I liked to do, and how that could fit into the evolving world. I did disobey them when I was younger sure, every kid does that. But they never put me outside, never smacked me, never yelled at me. They would tell me to stop and give me this look and I would think "oh, I've done it, in about an hour they are going to give me a lecture". I call them lectures, but looking back, they weren't really. They would ask me what I thought I did wrong, I would tell them. They would ask me why did I do those actions or behave that way, I would tell them. They would ask me why I thought what I did was wrong, I would tell them. They would ask me how could I have gotten the result I wanted through different actions, I would tell them. They would ask me how I could make up for the results of my actions now that I had already done them, I would tell them. If I couldn't answer one of the questions, it was fine, they would give their perspective or small corrections to my answers where appropriate. This way of thinking set me up well for the future. Now as an adult, I think about possible results of negative actions I am about to take before they happen, take a few seconds to think through it, and stop myself going through that course of action because I know there are other ways to achieve my goals and the actions I am about to take would backfire on me if I did continue them. It also developed empathy for those around me. And it meant that when my parents told me not to do something or stop doing something, I would listen to them. Not out of a sense of needing to follow their rules to avoid punishment. But because I knew that there was a reason and respected their greater life experience and trusted them to explain their reasoning later in private. It also meant when I had issues, I felt comfortable telling them, because I knew they were not dictators, they were there to help and love me.
^^ this
I am stealing that quote
36:39
I find it funny how those people bring up the “Honor your father and mother” in an insulting rant , when there’s literally another text which says “do not provoke your children to anger”.
Bold of you to assume these people read more than whatever verses agree with them.
The entire subreddit is the definition of, "Hey, Guess Who's getting put in a retirement home when you're older?"
My parents are doomed to one of those.
Pffft, implying I'd even put in that much effort
I always tell my dad, “Remember im the one who picks your retirement home one way, don’t test me” 🤷🏻♀️🤣 but in all seriousness if these were my parents I wouldn’t even spend the time, energy or money to put them in a home, I’d cut off contact long before JFC.
That's why I'm letting my brother deal with that. He helped them kick me out with outing me and now he gets to deal with them when they're retirement age
@@amberowen2004 Sometimes even nurses and pity food is too kind for them. Some parents really gotta die COMPLETELY alone, sad, and unloved so in their final moments they can think of how they got there, and how late it is for forgiveness. Sometimes you gotta let them beg to a God they held against you, Sometimes you gotta send a 2 foot tall 3d printed and finished hyper realistic middle finger when they ask you to "write back to home".
I've never understood forcing your religion on your children. When I become a mom, I will keep children's books about every world religion I can find as well as science books appropriate for my child's age in easy reach of them so they can make their own mind up about what worldview works best for them. I have my own spirituality, but I would be just as comfortable raising a Muslim, Hindu, Taoist, etc, if my child has a differing outlook to me. A mother's love should be unconditional!
Edit: spelling
Its for foundation building but then you have parents that crave control or be bubble parents
yeah, I'm an atheist and will probably raise my child like that if I have one but will make sure that they know that if they do decide to join a religion, as long as they're not using their beliefs to hurt themself or others, I don't care what they believe in
Me and my partner are atheists and we keep it very simple. We don't practice religion, but we always explained different religions, if they came across it, not before, because why?
Now, the big ones are in school and learn there about religion too and we are always open for them to ask everything. If they ever really want to practice one, we told them that we would support them, as long as they are as informed as possible,since we don't need to practice the same religion to love them
My parents growing up never talked about religion, they wanted to let me discover things on my own. I technically used to be Christian because that’s what all my classmates were and what I saw on TV, but then I read a book on space and the history of our universe and became agnostic because I didn’t see how the existence of a god really made sense. Then after a few years I became an atheist and my parents felt like they could be open about their beliefs without influencing mine (they’re both atheists as well)
so, pagan?
This is the first time I've heard of the phrase "Fishlove" and I actually kind of like it as a quick explanation of the exploitative 'love' people claim to have for someone else when really they're a meal ticket or something
My daughter will sleep in her Grandparents living room in a pop-up tent they open up for her to sleep over. What the hell is wrong with a kid sleeping wherever they want as long as it's not hurting them?
I completely agree with you. My son went through a time where I was just grateful he fell asleep, no matter where it was. Getting the sleep is far more important than the location in which it occurs. That mother/MIL needs to settle down!
Omg I love this, going camping every weekend lol
@@morecoffeeNOW seriously! If my daughter wants to lay out a bunch of blankets and sleep on the floor in her room then, damnit, she's gonna sleep where she wants! Only time we tell her no is when she wants to actually camp outside... In December...
@@Roanmonster lol she loves it whenever she can do that, she used to even have a pop-up tent open in her bed so she felt like she was camping in her room as well!
My daughter used to sleep in a laundry basket that she DEFINITELY didn't fit into.
What really grinds my gears in these is the emotional blackmail. "I made you so you are slave" or "I bought you the car you owe me" or "you'll be on the streets trying find an apartment now because you didn't agree". Like some people really have kids just to feel powerful
i noticed that a lot of this people are usually anti abortion and just keep the kids they don't want or didn't plan for and then treat kids like slaves.
One thing my parents, especially my dad, says is that "they paid for it and have me it, they can easily take it back, it's not mine"
They're fine, nowhere near this level
Haven't told them in a furry tho, I don't plan to tbh
They only way that if I've done something wrong though, they're stern but nice enough
That's some guilt tripping level shit right there. My parents did this to me sometimes.
One time when I told someone about my problem, someone else said like 'you are not being grateful to have your parents still alive.' Yeah, but when it comes to guilt tripping tactics like that, I wouldn't want to be like them.
Based pfp
27:08 "She said I needed to come get my cat, who she threatened to take to a kill shelter, and now I'm ready to grab him, she won't give him back and says she'll get me a new cat instead!"
Uh... I got a *really* bad feeling Smokey's already gone, kiddo.
😳😬 right....
😢😮😅
Oh god that is making my bloodlust rageeeee Imma need pills lol
The massive abuse a lot of us Gen X and Millennials went through is one of the reasons why we treat kids better than our parents treated us.
"My parents beat me, but I turned out fine!" Right I guess I'll ignore the blatant violent anger inability to regulate your emotions. Cause that's "fine" (arguments I've experienced on Facebook with boomers and millennials)
@@AnimeLuver0604 i see this quote all the time when anyone mentions bad parenting, kinda annoying and ignoring the problem.
And some abuse Gen X and Millenials abused their children. Either physically or mentally.
Example A: My first step-father; physically and mentally abused me
Example B: My second step-father; Mentally abused me
My parents use that as justification for how they treat me. Like wow you don't beat me like your parents did do you want a fuckin medal?
People tell me I have a massive issue with religion, but when you hammer into your kids head they need to accept god or face punishment, and that fucks with me to this day, there are more stories to tell, but we can go on for days about that stuff, but yeah really dont want my kids, if have any to have to deal with that stuff I went through
The person getting harassed by their parents should definitely get that restraining order now.
Speaking of which, a restraining order is kinda like a reverse marriage: "You're such a horrible person, I'll get the government involved so you stay the f*ck away from me."
reversed marriage never going to think of it as the same again, im calling it that for now on
Lmao never realised that
I love that
@@vanovasmith9586????? What’s the deal with Montana????
"Being an adult only means being responsible, you can still be childish." OMG I will keep this truth close to me and quote it forever.
Crazy rant: It took me a minute to figure out what OP was talking about but "pure O" is a form of OCD. Instead of performing overt rituals like over washing your hands or locking a door 30 times, you do MENTAL rituals.
So OP has had OCD since she was 5. OCD is an anxiety disorder and we just saw how OP's mom is. Is it any wonder that a 5 year old has ao much anxiety she had to start finding ways to relieve it without mom knowing?
Then mom says some shit about not blaming women...then goes on to blame multiple aunts, grandma, cousins, great grandma, OP. Everyone but herself.
So it's not really "don't blame women". it's "don't blame me cuz I'm a woman"
When it probably actually is her fault.
Seeing how the mom talks to OP about putting her child down for a nap after an hour of play time, all those things are probably related to her behavior.
Honestly, OP should've just threatened to call the cops if she doesn't get help.
Yeah the bit talking about finding what it is that divides.... like I think I know what is causing the division.
We seriously need to talk more, the USA especially, how cult like religions deliberately cause people to think like this and create wedges between their members and the people who might protect them from the cult.
Honestly, idk why u bother trying to decipher anything these bitches say, the moment u hear "because god" they just stop existing for me
Thank you for explaining pure O, that was very helpful.
Yeah, I feel so bad for the OP. Just an avalanche of toxicity. If they have the means I hope they're able to get away from their mother. At least put some level of distance between them, for their mental health and for their child.
So I was homeschooling my first child. He was 6 and not reading yet, despite my best efforts. We would just get frustrated with each other and we weren't making any progress. You know what I did? I enrolled him in public school. Now, he reads at his grade level and loves it. Don't be too proud to do what is best for your children.
I was in public school kindergarten to 8th grade, I was in special ed classes 2nd to 4th grade and by the time I had to be homeshooled, due to having too many issue with the teachers mixed with my seizures, I had to be homeshooled for high school, I couldn't do the most basic of math, the teachers just didn't want to deal with me and I still some how would occasionally get things wrong even with calculator they allowed me to use. While home shooled I finally started learning addition, subtraction, and very basic multiplication.
Basically, I do believe it really depends on different factors, though if a child has been homeshooled their whole life and still can't read, yes, they should probably try out school.
This! If you’re struggling to teach even basic skills to your child, they need someone else to teach them! If they’re learning academically at levels beyond their social skills, they need to get to interact with lots of kids their age, outside their family, but probably will do better with a more individualized curriculum that may not be served by public school. If you are able to and considering homeschooling, make sure it is for the benefit of your child or children. After all, even in my childhood neighbors huge family one of the kids had special needs that they weren’t able to provide at home, so they found a school that would be able to help him. It’s not an all or nothing situation, you’re not a failure if you can’t do things on your own, only if you refuse to acknowledge when you’re in over your head and don’t do anything about it.
It absolutely depends on the kid. Some kids excel when homeschooled, some do very poorly. I was in some groups with kids on both sides of that spectrum. I also know families with some kids in school and some homeschooled. They really helped me, not so much in making the decision, but in feeling confident I was making the right decision. :)
Every kid learns differently. I was above average in elementary school, and got really good grades but that instantly just tanked in Middle School and got so much worse in high school. I switched to doing online based homeschooling and instantly improved because there wasn't so much pressure with deadlines for big assignments.
Go you! Good mom 👍
My parents expected absolute obedience from me as well as perfect grades. If I got below a B+, if I didn’t excel at sports (my dad told me he expected me to “carry my team”), if I wasn’t quite and smiling to fit their perfect child image, if my room wasn’t perfectly tidy, if I didn’t take care of the animals, house, and from the age of 12 my little brother (I woke up almost every night when he was a baby to change his diapers/feed/comfort him because my room was right next to his and my parents wouldn’t get up) I was shunned.
They would ignore me. I would ask someone to pass the salt at the dinner table and they wouldn’t even look at me. If I asked for an essential need like some body wash and I wasn’t in their favor I wouldn’t get it until I made them like me again. I grew up so anxious and stressed I had breakdowns at school and would hide in bathrooms or cabinets, CPS was called multiple times on my parents but there was no physical evidence of abuse.
I was so scared of my parents I felt I couldn’t ask for anything or talk to them. I was diagnosed with chronic depression and anxiety disorder at age 8 after I told a teacher I want to kill my self because I was doing bad in math and was made to go to therapy. My parents to this day don’t understand why I am like I am, but therapy (decades of it) have helped me realize .
Holy shit.
It's insane.
I remember this story of a woman with extremly overbearing parents. It got to a point where the security of the college she was attending would escort them off campus to prevent them from getting to her and when she got a restraining order against them the college gave her a scholarship for her final year.
And I thought my mom stalking me through traffic cameras in the college town was bad!
@@darkstarr984 I mean, yeah, that's still pretty bad.
That is literally just my story, minus the restraining order and scholarship. Don’t I wish I’d gotten a restraining order and a scholarship.
she's lucky they were dumb enough to have it publicly acknowledged by the college. most ppl like me have smart, manipulative narcissists for parents who torture and suffocate every detail of independent choices you make behind closed doors and everyone thinks they are wonderful so nobody cares to hear your truth.
DAMN when the college fundraises the rest of your education because of your parents being shitty people thats a glaring red sign that they’re demons holy shit.
I don't even know where to start, but my mother definitely belongs on this subreddit. From kicking me out in the snow for hours because I didn't listen, to throwing my food on the floor and forcing me to eat it because I didn't "sweep well enough", ignored three years of drug abuse and self harm (and then blaming me for being sexually abused and being "dramatic" by "scratching" my arms, which have been scarred for years now), and when I finally moved out and spoke against her legally, she called me early in the morning to scream at me for "trying to get her kids taken away". Woman should literally be in fucking prison lmao
She should damn, sorry you had to live like that.
arson ARSON ARSOOOOOON!!!
man i feel incredibly bad for you.
Millions of years of evolution, just for sad imitations of human beings like that to still exist.
Did you succeded in helping your siblings?
@@alxxander7506 I did. They live with their dad now, and I'll be in court testifying against our mother as soon as I can
God, I feel so lucky to have genuinely fantastic parents. I knew so many people growing up who had abusive parents and it's so heartbreaking. And kudos to the parents who don't repeat cycles of toxic parenting with their kids.
Seriously same. I have abusive grandparents and it really makes me appreciate my parents so much more to watch how much they’ve managed to break the cycles of abuse and shield us from them. I wish everyone was as lucky as me.
The sleep one hits very fucking hard. I am a person with severe sleep issues since birth which have left me waking up from vivid nightmares for weeks straight. My parents have been nothing but supportive over the years which makes me feel a lot better when it is particularly shitty. Please, don't bully people with sleep issues. We are not to blame for our condition. It's not fun. God, treating a parasomniac as if they're trying to piss you off intentionally is downright abusive.
Loved getting beat for bodily functions that are out of my control
I’ve struggled with falling asleep for most of my life. I used to sleep in a chair in the living room because it’s where I felt safest, but the sleep struggles never faltered regardless. My dad would sometimes get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, and if he saw that I was still awake, he’d turn off the tv. One night, I was actually sleeping peacefully when he shook me awake, saying, “I know you’re awake”, berated me for not sleeping, and turned off the tv; I was around 7-8 years old and barely slept that night thanks to him.
My mother has also always had insomnia and yet every time I complain about mine she acts like it's my own fault...
I have sleep issues, too... It's hard for me to fall alseep. It's due to a melatonin deficiency that I've had since birth. On the rare times that I do manage to fall asleep before 5 or 6am (without meds; we don't have melatonin) I end up just waking up again an hour later... it sucks...
My mom and dad thankfully just let me sleep wherever I fell asleep… couch, floor bathroom if I was sick. Kitchen chair. If I could sleep peacefully and safely they left me alone. If I needed a little adjusting they did it and good to go. Because that was the only sleep I was getting and they knew it.
Just some fun information
Your parents have a legal requirement to care for you and provide you in the United States. If they kick you out, they are breaking the law. You can literally call the police on them for it. You can also sue them for it, and if you're a teenager you can ask the courts for emancipation and your parents will have to give you money aka child support, until you are 18, and that child support may include paying for housing in addition to enough money to buy food, household supplies etc.
In Germany, parents have to support their children for as long as they can't provide for themselves, even years after their 18th birthday. Only if a child got a degree from a university, finished an apprenticeship, or works a full-time job they are left off the hook.
In Germany it's even until you're 25 or have completed your first degree (or apprenticeship, basically education that qualifies you for a job that enables you to earn your own living) whichever comes first.
Adding to the list of people here for future reference of whoever might be curious or interested, in Brazil it's until you are 21, but if by then you are an apprentice, university student or something of the same sort that gives you professional qualification, that time is extended and your parents are by law required to support you until you obtain your first certification. There are levers and pulleys to stop potentially exploitative people, but basically if you have serious health problems or something like that which prevents you from concluding it within the medium timeframe for most people, it earns you the right to be supported for a longer period of time, no date set on stone.
That's.... Actually a thing..? I was not only kicked out but given away to our local church right after my 17th birthday and ik there's more then one thing seriously wrong with that course of events, but I've never heard anything about if it was legal or not to that degree. Then again... I wasn't exactly told much and one of the things I was told was a straight up lie so idk, but that was nearly ten years ago so 🤷♂️
I honestly feel so bad for those who need to "come out" to their family, some people act like the act itself means their child suddenly changed. That's impossible, they've always been like that and coming "out" as anything these days must be terrifying, isn't the normal response to hug them and say it's okay, you love them. Maybe get them a cake? It doesn't feel like it's that hard to be a kind person, but apparently it really is. If you can abandon/ abuse your child so easily, how broken are you? Get help ffs.
32:30 my boyfriend actually has his mother's contact as "Spawnpoint" and I find it absolutely hilarious🤣
You'r boyfriend is a true gamer
That's awesome 🤣
@@gisi5276 yes
My brother's contact in my phone is "My father's biggest mistake" because he's highly abusive to me and I'm on low contact with him. When my father passes away I will go no contact.
I do this.
As a person who has been a pet owner her whole life, I'm happy to say my Mom made sure to help me have the habit of washing my hands after handing pets, before eating, after cleaning up messes, basically every single time you can have a germ transfer.
I mean, I work in a medical environment professionally and I'll still eat sandwiches while mucking out horse stalls and share bites with my dogs. You can know how to be sterile in an environment that requires it and still be safely comfortable swapping microorganisms with other species. Immune systems are great.
(And vaccines and anthelmintics are nice.)
@@Nylak-Otter Little bit of dirt don't hurt no one, but I definitely want to be sure to wash my hands before grabbing a handful of chips if I've had them in some Nature's Miracle cleaner fluid after deep cleaning some poopy off a rug.
We also have a musk turtle that I sometimes have to dunk my hands into the tank for rearranging stuff, so it's just good to wash up after handling a turtle because of the salmonella they naturally produce.
If my dog or one of my cats manages to sneak a bite off an unattended sandwich, I can just tear off the affected part, but as a rule of thumb, I just keep up with keeping clean because it's good to keep that as a habit and also allergies are common in my family so making sure to not cross contaminate is a good thing to practice.
My pets themselves are generally pretty clean and tidy and kept up with thier shots even though they're indoors all the time.
I see where you’re coming from but personally I wash my hands when I feel it’s necessary like after going to the toilet of course, changing litter boxes/picking up poop in the yard, brushing my pets and after cleaning but other than that I don’t necessarily wash them (unless I feel like it of course or it’s necessary for some reason), but if I pet my pets I don’t wash them heck I kiss them on their noses and has shared food with them in 3 different ways, the normal one for you one for me, the you can get one lick the rest is mine and haha take this piece of food out of my mouth lmao I’m not very concerned about the bacteria from my pets since I have always done these things 😅
@@Nylak-Otter "swapping microorganisms with other species" is actually a bad thing because of the creation of zoonosises (pathogens that jump from animals to humans)
Case n point: the current pandemic lmao
Eh I keep some pets, some of which concern a lotta people because of the species, and it's kinda a case by case basis if I wash or sanitize my hands before or after handling them. My pair of toads, often before and always after because I'm actually more worried about them getting sick from me then me getting sick. The fish, before if i might've touched anything toxic and after because idk the chances they'll get me sick but again, they're actually more sensitive to contagions then me. The cats? It's a hard rule that they have never tried human food aside from plain cooked or canned fish or chicken and like once a year on average at that so i don't really care about hand washing with them, grew up around cats so I'm not concerned about their germs or toddler me woulda had it rough already. Some of the insects... Well... One roach colony is definitely wash hands after touching because they will eat anything and sometimes get leftovers or food dropped on the ground but rest are just only if I get dirt under my nails while messing with them ^^'
I like your explanation of "fish love." I used to explain to my daughters that some people love you like a hamburger, some people love you like a puppy, and some people love you like a whole person.
Like a hamburger = "fish love"
Like a puppy = they genuinely think they love you and want what's best for you, but only as long as you aren't too difficult to manage, you adore them back, and you behave in ways that bring them joy or fit their image of you. If those things change, they will lose patience and feel like you aren't fulfilling your responsibilities in the relationship. They will withdraw their affection and think it's your fault.
Sounds like that kind of love is pretty super-FISH-al
One of the worst truths is when people harass or abuse you, they'll offer gifts or kindness to 'fix' it, but then immediately go back to the abuse, in a cycle.
Leaving these people isn't giving up, it's letting go.
That s called, gift bombing.
One of the tactics narcissists use.
Yep.
My mom does this except she apologizes very dryly and expects me to accept her apology. When I don’t she gets mad
@@kawaiifentanyl You're not alone. My mother does the exact same thing and expects me to forgive her and when I call her out on her bs, she throws a fit. I look forward to the day I can finally move out and keep her at an arm's length. Things will get better, it just takes a while.
@kazjonesy310 yeah same. i’m really sorry you have to go through that.
Congratulations, and thanks, to all the kids who contributed to "ruining the red wave"
I can’t vote yet, but I’ll definitely do my part when I’m old enough. Good night alt-right!
Yeah. If I got a text like "You ruined the red wave" or something, I'd just respond with "You're welcome."
Even better, a link to that song from Moana.
Ironic how the folks who preach about the freedom to vote and other freedoms, yet also end up wanting to silence the opposition because they’ve got the majority vote this time.
American politics be like
EDIT: Okay, looking at this comment again I can definitely see where people get the wrong idea. I suck at grammar lmao
I’m not siding with the republicans in this, wasn’t trying to insinuate that. I was trying to point out how those republicans were hyping about the red wave, then blame the opposition for literally using their freedom to vote, the thing they always claim to protect for everyone.
@@GOFFBITZH666 How is my saying I don't want the Re[publicans to have power the same as me telling people I don't want them to state their opinion? Either you replied to the wrong message or you're making a metric carptonne of assumptions about my beliefs.
@@charlespentrose7834 I actually think they were saying that the Republicans want to silence the opposition because Democrats got the majority vote in a lot of places? I don't know, it's weirdly worded and both parties spend a lot of time talking about freedoms.
Calling someone dramatic when they're literally showing signs of mental health issues, even if they are teenagers, can ruin relationships. It what my mother did and although we're healing, she broke me. Parents need to be better with mental health.
Agreed: parents need to be better with mental health.
A lot of "stereotypical teen behaviors" are symptoms of poor mental health.
I imagine many parents would reject mental health lessons as an indictment of their parenting abilities.
Most of this subset probably earned that indictment.
But haven’t you heard? They grew up with those emotions and they turned out fine! /s
Seriously, I feel like a lot of these bad parents are like one therapist away from actually being decent people. But they’re gen x, so they refuse to go to therapists 🤦🏻
@@awfuldynne "back in my days people dont need therapy for every single little thing"
Bcuz the people who end themselves aren't being talked about, its simply a "mystery" why they would do such things
25:30 even if the non-binary person ends up discovering "oh, i'm actually not non binary. i do identify as a man," like the mom wants, they are still going to feel rejected and not loved unconditionally by their parent.
Why is it unconditional love for one side here not being rude but genuine goals parents want and sadness
@@rosannaburt3048 because children are people not property and just because you are their parent doesn't mean you get to decide who they are.
@@waffles3629 yes u can
Yeah I can confirm this cuz it happened with me and my mom. I told her I think I wanna use they/them pronouns and she snapped at me saying it was indoctrination and even nearly slapped me. She acted like everything was fine an hour later and I lost the last bit of respect I had for her after that.
@@rosannaburt3048 you think being a parent means you can decide who a child becomes? You're absolutely insane lol controlling person alert!!
As a kid of an entitledparent/insaneparent I feel so frustrated seeing posts where these people allow their parents to continue to meddle in their lives with toxic behavior. I know it’s not easy for everyone to put their foot down but some difficult things are necessary in life, I’ve already decided im never gonna let my mother meet any of my future children just to avoid extra drama and I’m only 22.
Off-topic from the video, but I love your pfp. MCR is one of my favorite bands. 😊
To be fair, good parents don't stop worrying about their children jusy because they're adults. When I decided to start having kids, I knew I was sentencing myself to a lifetime of worry and anxiety (totally worth it. I love those boogers). I deal with my anxiety and try not to let it become their problem though.
Edit: If you are under 18 and your parents throw you out for ANY reason, call the police. That is called child abandonment and in the states that is against the law. They want to throw you out, their asses should sit in jail and deal with the courts. RUIN their lives!!!
Hell yeah! The first part seems like part of the whole, "don't have kids if you can't accept they will eventually become their own adults."
Worrying about your loved ones is natural. Stalking them and demanding they live by your random preferences is not. Manipulating them with money or other resources is not 'love' is abuse.
Jupp - you're a kid for 18 years, but a parent for a lifetime. I'm in my mid 20s and my mom & dad still text me in the evenings when I'm out late just make sure I got home safe ^^
Looking at the comments of this video... I think I've just realized that everyone else has a different definition of what child abandonment means then everyone else here... Now I'm kinda morbidly curious but at the same time ik I'm too apathetic about what happened nearly ten years ago to care if there was any legal action I could've taken. Idk, I was told running away from home as a kid was a jailable offense and that still doesn't sound real so I wouldn't be surprised if getting finally kicked outta that abusive house was actually worse then originally thought but all I honestly really cared about was any chance to not live in fear every day of my life, though revenge woulda been real sweet...
@@discordiacreates6669 running away can be treated like a crime if you’re unfortunate enough to fit into a marginalized social group whose every day behaviors are seen as criminal. It’s not illegal to run away.
I am not homosexual in the slightest, but it still really hurts when I hear my mum saying "if you are gay, you have assassinated me" because she wants her biological line to keep going.
I don't even know if I want children.
She says she's not homophobic by saying "people can be what they want I don't care", but I don't believe it for one second.
"people can be what they want, i don't care (as long as it doesn't affect me)" basically
Kinda felt the same when my mom said "i wouldn't like if one of my daughters were to be lesbian" from time to time when i was growing up, now im a bi with a bf so im heteropassing, Don't know if I'm ever gonna tell her, even if with time she has got more open and accepting of LGBT
@@rosannaburt3048 did you really just compare _being yourself_ to *being assassinated???* Yikes. Also gay people can have children.
@@rosannaburt3048Surrogates with your sperm still birth a child that's biologically yours!
Mine said they'd disown me. They're those good, god-fearing Christian types too. They aren't concerned about their line, they're fine with me not wanting kids. They just hate the gays.
@@rosannaburt3048 what form of English is this? I do not understand what you are saying.
I could really do with an Emotional Support Demon right at this moment, after watching that video. Still in tears about that poor enby kid being kicked out by their horrible so-called "mother". I hope the kid got assistance and is safe and well.
One of the stories mentions an "attempt" that is likely a suicide attempt.
For a parent to drive a child to that is the most horrific thing.
We know this first hand, my parents led me to try *seven times*
Bro are you a cat with 9 lifes? /j
(Sorry)
No jokes aside how can a parent even let it get that far to do it once but seven times??? I really hope you got away from them and are now on the road to recovery.
@@fairylaw4994 I'm 39 now and live 5,300 miles away from my abusive family. Thanks
hope you are able to answer but, what did your parents do that made you want to attempt suicide?
@@ProfessionalPacifist severe physical and emotional abuse and didn't protect me from a great aunt with sick desires towards children
Sending you internet hugs
The one with the hand washing issue: RSV can be life threatening for infants. And cases are currently really bad in some areas. So how can you not do the simplest measurement to keep a fragile child safe, that just recently was already ill? Infants don't really have a functioning immune system yet and still have develope it... This grandparent (?) is just... argh
Overall I have a problem with a person not willing to wash their hands when requested to. Like it's not like she is asking them to dress up and go through full disinfection, or that we don't wash hands regularly anyway (I hope so at least). So gross
Yeah. RSV (and Noro, Covid, Influenza) is really bad rn where I live. I don't know about you but Im not really all that big on having to respond to an infant having a seizure and breathing trouble every night and thats still on the milder side of possible symptoms.(I work in EMS for reference) We're pretty much out of hospital beds for kids in my region at this point. And it's not fun for the kids either a seizure is no joke and usually they get them because they're already really sick and have been for days.
You should definitly desinfect and wash your hands regularly. One of those illnesses is already not a fun time but they can also happen at the same time. Imagine shitting and vomiting the worst smelling stuff imaginable in literal metric tons while coughing up half a lung and not getting enough air in (in case you got stuck with Covid+ Noro, I know a few cases)
@@Roanmonster Hate to say it, but there are plenty of people who don't wash their hands regularly. Can't count how many times at work I'll see a customer come out of a stall or stop using a urinal and just walk out of the bathroom without even looking at a sink.
I actually have RSV right now, and yeah, I can see how babies could die from this. I’m a teen but I feel like I’m dying
I feel like just washing your hands is a simple thing to do when holding your infant grandchild. My sister gave birth recently and have been very careful with that cuz a lot of people are getting sick (including her older daughter) now, plus that her infant has had a few health problems since birth. This is a very weird thing for the mother to breakdown about tbh.
36:15 I am convinced that the last 4 minutes of this video is just this crazy lady ranting and poor Click having to mindlessly read it all to the camera…
Holy scheiße… I WAS RIGHT!
What goes through parents heads to think they can just do this kind of stuff and not suffer any consequences for their actions? How we shape our children is very important and some parents who think it's okay to ruin children's lives should have their children taken away.
“Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see.” - John F. Kennedy
They will face consequences when they can never see their grand children, and die alone. As is what happened to my dad, he brought it upon himself. Sure I feel sad it happened that way but he had nobody to blame except himself. If he was even a half decent human being, we would have wanted to keep him in our lives. As it was he was an abusive toxic control freak and bully. You simply can't keep someone like that in your life for your own good.
@Wolf-dog Cat-dog 2.0 It was not a threat, that's what happened. It was entirely his own fault. I have no survivor's guilt, I am sad it ended the way it did without him even attempting to make amends. But there is no way I will let him inflict that one last measure of abuse.
@Wolf-dog Cat-dog 2.0 I didn't find out he died for months after his death. You really don't understand this situation at all. It was not revenge, it was not a threat, or a punishment. It had nothing to do with wanting him to die alone. Did you read anything I said? It was the sad inevitable consequences of his own behaviour. I cut him out of my life because of the damage he was doing to me and those around me while he was alive. If you believe that makes me as bad as him, then you need to re-evaluate your own concept of morality.
@Wolf-dog Cat-dog 2.0 Whole lot of assumptions you got there about someone you have never met. It is clear that Amy would know more about their father than you do, no? Rampant use of caps lock also makes this read in the same voice Click uses for people that are in the wrong/throwing a fit in entitlement about something, so that's kinda funny.
Dying alone is something many people do, if you take away context. But with context, anyone with family who loves them (and whom they in return love and respect) never really dies alone, even if physically alone, because they know their family loves them and supports them. So no, saying what Amy said *_isn't_* encouraging the idea that if you are not physically with a family member when they die, they are dying alone. By dying alone, it is meant in the metaphorical sense, not in the literal "no one was at their bedside" sense.
I was not at my Mema's deathbed when she died of brain cancer as I was living four states away and also I was 10, but that doesn't mean my heart wasn't with her in every way it could be. She did not die without me, as I was with her in her heart, and her in mine.
If you can't understand that, I would suggest some soul searching. What has affected you so badly in your life that you feel the need to dictate how Amy should feel about their father's death? What happened to make you so sure that this man you've never met had no regrets upon death? Many people have regrets on their deathbed, whether they are voiced or not is irrelevant.
Cutting someone toxic out of your life, which may result in them "dying alone" in the metaphorical sense, is not revenge in and of itself. It may to some degree feel like revenge to an outsider or to the person who is being cut out of their life, but that doesn't mean it is revenge. Funnily enough, it is often done because the toxic person is making life a nightmare for the person affected, and their family. Consequences do not equate revenge.
For example, going to jail for child abuse, isn't necessarily revenge from the child, but merely something deserved. It is a consequence of their actions, not a revenge quest from law enforcement or the people they abuse. Removing a toxic person from your life is the healthiest thing you can do for yourself, and often for the people you care for that may be affected by the toxic person.
That isn't to say people don't seek revenge, but it is not your place to decide what is and isn't revenge for someone else.
Good day.
@Wolf-dog Cat-dog 2.0 this shit reads like something an insane parent would say in one of these videos. If you usually treat people like this, it’s a good thing you aren’t scared of dying alone, jesus
This subreddit simultaneously makes me feel better about my own terrible family and feel sad that other people share this trauma.
@Amaris Nikini🌙 I'm so sorry. You deserve better.
Absolutely right to even ask this question ridiculous
@couch potato 🥔 im happy to hear your positive changes! My best advice is you can't fix someone like that so don't even try, but it sounds like you are going on that route already!
To the future and a good life, my friend
@couch potato 🥔 Hey, any better Now?
@couch potato 🥔 my mother admitted to manipulating me on purpose because i’m « not as tough as the other » referring to my suicidal sister, basically bragging about it to another person. it made me feel like shit cause the only thing that kept me from snapping all those years was the possibility of my parents « not knowing any better » but the knowledge that they did know better and took advantage of my easy to scare/manipulate and forgiving nature made me feel used and betrayed and it hurt more than any of the physical stuff i had to endure. i still gaslighted myself into thinking i still don’t have the right to be mad so yeah…them being right abt me just destroyed me. i’m okay though i put it past me and will never let myself be taken advantage of again
13:44 "eating a life" so plants and fungi just aren't alive then? We aren't going to acknowledge that?
they're looking for reasons without any thought behind them
What else are we gonna eat I guess? But that also is why food chains exist so you are right. Also it might be bc its alot harder to acknowledge that plants and fungi are alive, but I'm dumb so
@@areallyshortbrontothere I'm not saying we shouldn't eat plants and fungi, I'm pointing out that the vegan "eating a life" argument is reeeeeeeally weird to me. Although if we really want to avoid all life. There's always salt
@@sjfrench8034 ya I know was just thinking of a possible way of thinking even though it's really dumb,
People like that fail to realize that all food was a living organism at one point, and that there can be no life without death.
4:51 even though teens are dramatic it’s important to recognise their feelings as real because they are. Listening and nurturing does not cause entitled children. They have so many hormone changes it completely messes with their head and small things can cause big feelings.
So true. I feel like it might even push their emotions even further, and it leads to the "no one knows the real me / how I really feel" trope.
It's also important for kids up to about 11 years old, the part of the brain that deals with emotions is not fully developed yet, a lot of children have tantrums and the like because they physically and mentally can't cope with their emotions yet, and then puberty hits like a brick not soon after they start getting a hang of things and messes it all up again.
@@MrTrilbe Honestly...... This random comment explains so much for me.
@@taviebrown2271 really schools should be teaching basic child psychology and physiology in schools and what is "normal" child behavior's and things to look out for that might hint towards neurodivergences and stuff like what epilepsy can present as in them.
They seem to forget that they were in a similar situation as their teen when they themselves were a teen once (i apologize if this makes no sense in terms of grammar)
About the first story, I slept on the floor at 5 years old for about two months. No blanket, no padding, just floor. (My parents had nothing to do with it I just liked sleeping on the floor and would do so without prompting.) I remember the reason I liked sleeping on the floor was because it was comfortable and the tiles were cold. So.
A lot of kiddos sleep on the floor. All mine have at different points. Shoot as an adult I still sleep on the floor occasionally. It’s nice sometimes.
i always loved to curl up to the size of the couch cushions (1 and a half foot square), pull a fluffy blanket over and doze. it made me feel like a cat. Later realised I picked up a lot of social cues from cats because I spent more of my stress free down time around them than I did around my parents, (for the record, my parents weren't absent, its just that there was only 2 parents who still had to do stuff around the house like cook and clean, compared to 8 cats who found the small child highly interesting and therefore like to watch and be around me for whatever reason.)
@@bethanybrookes8479 Intresting.
Sure, but that’s not always the case. My mom was forced to sleep on the floor through high school because her mother considered it “unclean” if your feet touched the ground after your bath - and mom had homework to finish at night, so she wasn’t allowed to sleep in her bed. Some parents are shite.
I set up a giant blanket over my bunk bed and slept like that with stuffed animals covering my bed until like 16-17 maybe. It was just cozy yk and it felt a bit safer 😊
This is such a little thing but the fact you just casually mentioned period pains just made me so happy lol also the fact you know how similar appendicitis and cramps feel and mentioned it. It’s such a small thing but it means so much.
I REALLY want to see the last mother's response to "You're never seeing your grandchild again".
You’ll have to wait, it will probably be a few years before she finishes writing _that_ tirade
@@Null-value hopefully she’ll be locked up by then. Fucking hell she is unhinged
It's a sign of how bad things have gotten that stuff like basic hygiene and basic public courtesy have become so controversial.
I'm not sure they've "become" controversial, so much as the people who never took them up in the first place finally found a way to scream at a wider audience.
I'll take smelly and polite over clean and mean.
@@wmdkitty I’ll take polite and clean over polite and no hygiene, thanks
Really makes me sad how many of the parents in this subreddit remind me of my own mother. While I’ve always known that she’s a little crazy, Click’s reactions to these parents really makes me think that maybe she’s worse than I thought …
its been a while since i have told stories from my mom on here, so here is the newest one:
I wanted to come out to my mom (as bi) two weeks ago, and I got the conversation to the point where it was possible, a conversation about sexuality and being trans and whatever
And then she dropped the most aphobic, transphobic and queerphobic shit I have ever heard
And she said that she's lucky to not have children that love their own gender
And she said she wouldn't want children that even question their sexuality and so on
Remember this conversation.
Then once you're financially independent and able to live on your own, come out to her like this:
"You know how you one said that you wouldn't want children that question they're sexuality? That day, you were telling me that you don't want me. Because I'm bi. And since that means that you don't love me, this will be the last time you hear from me for some time. Because you need to think about the consequences of your actions until I can feel safe being around you."
Then hang up the phone. Don't answer any calls from her. Or from any family. Immediately delete any texts.
Go radio silent for a few months while you grieve the your mother doesn't love you. This will build up an emotional shield against any emotional manipulation attempts.
Then when you're ready, reestablish contact, but do so while laying down some ground rules. Rebuild any relationship you want on your terms.
@@John_Weiss that’s actually a solid strategy that I wish I had when I cut contact with my father. If he says some shit like that again imma remember that, thanks!
I've had something close to that happening too sometime ago. It sucks. Just live your life and leave her behind.
I had a similar experience with my mom. I'm pan and wanted to tell her multiple times. When I said I had a date with a girl she looked at me like she wanted to kill me so I said it was a joke. Then I told her what pansexuallity is and she said" so they are so horny they would do naughtys to everything even bagels. So I gave it up...
@@ariellajansen2741 yes we do naughties to everyone, mom. 🙄 why do old people never understand us?
I actually did the poop thing. My mom was bitching me out over a bathroom trip. I hung up on her and after fuming a few minutes she called back. I answered by letting off a gasser into the phone and asking what she wanted. She stopped calling for a month. Best Halloween ever.
I was a child in the late 90s/early 2000s. I had a nanny line all of the kids up and have us was our hands after we came in from outside, before we ate a snack, whatever. She even made sure we washed them properly. Hats off to you Queen 👸🏼
Wow. That last one.... I feel like OP should be advised to not let their Mom see the baby again, AT LEAST until she gets some help bc that was unhinged.
Hopefully they can get a restraining order, I have a bad feeling they'll need one.
That … rant … looked like a mental collapse in text form. Yikes.
All because it was naptime.
@@John_Weiss Exactly, especially once it went from ranting about the baby to her talking about letting demons into your mind and the Aunt and how sporadic it got....
Idk if there's legal grounds to have her committed or anything, but she needs Help with a capital H and SOON.
And I definitely think she shouldn't be back around the baby, a person in such a messed up mental or emotional state might do something crazy like trying to take the baby because she feels like she is being slighted and deserves to see them....
Seriously, I hope the good people in the Subreddit let OP know that this isn't just Kinda Crazy, it's Scary Crazy and they should be aware.
I don't think it was fully registering to Click that op with the stalker parents planting a "birthday present" on their doorstep was worried the package was going to contain something dangerous/deadly. As soon as I got the full picture, my fight or flight kicked in and I instantly went, "Call the cops and yeet that package into orbit."
PIPE BOMB DEVIVERY!
The fertiliser was just for your garden I swear
I never even thought of that.. :((
one quote that I think really goes well with this subreddit is
"family doesn't end with blood but it sure as hell doesn't start there either'
Parents like this are why I have a "How to survive in your own house" guide that I send to teens that reach out to me.
I write short stories and post them online, I am not a therapist, but after 2 kids reached out asking for advice it seemed a good thing to keep on hand.
Edit: I do keep posting it.
would you mind please sharing that guide? i'm in a particularly bad place right now and could use it :/
Where is the guide op
Show us the goods! :D
^
can i see the posts?
I'll never understand why in US it's allowed to euthanize a pet for no reason. Here in Brazil at least since last year it's against the law to euthanize cats and dogs besides them being in extreme pain or have a uncurable transmittable disease that makes then a danger to others (like late-stage rabies).
Part of the reason I never wanted to be a vet.
Wait really? Omg I live in America I didn't know other places had better pet laws.
Oh my gosh that is so awesome I'm glad you guys cant get PETAed like we do.
I need to find some protests for these laws or form some.
Knowing at least a few places protect pets from unprompted and unnecessary euthanasia makes me feel a little better.
@@shadow_shine3578 not to soun mean. But USA can be pretty bad with laws that involve protecting the week
@@isadoracostahamsi163 i agree, it's a bad track record.
Yeah the laws on animals can be pretty dystopian around here, like I wanna rehome a cat who's friendly but aggressive but I'm afraid he'd be put down for digging his claws into someone once. He has depth perception issues I'm pretty sure because he had trouble jumping on and running into things as a kitten and grabs at anything that goes in front of his face, so idk, his eyesight might actually just be that bad but he's definitely not blind. I think a big issue in the US is that many cats and dogs are allowed to roam freely outside with no identification, fence or supervision for the entirety of the day and often night as well. That's a big issue when most of them arent fixed and they're allowed to freely mix with the ever growing number of abandoned and stray animals so there's too many animals for many people to feed and house. We honestly need more aggressive spay and neuter programs for animals out on the street since some places won't come pick them up and bring them into a shelter, and some places that do, especially if it's a pitbull, only take them in to put them down as they're "unwanted". I'd adopt every cat if I could, I'd say much less unwanted but undiscovered and that's on the humans for bringing these non native species here, not on them for surviving despite how many are left to rot. Definitely hope kill shelters get abolished and people crack down on unlicensed breeding as well since at home puppy mills seem popular with how many pitbulls are in this small area I live in alone
That story about the boy living outside sounds like something from "How to Train Up a Child", it's a mormon book that encourages whipping your newborns with a stick, and has caused several deaths due to children being locked outside. Multiple attempts have been made to remove it from online bookstores with no success.
I can't afford to have kids (would if I could), and it breaks my heart to see children mistreated like this.
The people who would never consider that argument are the people who have the most kids (that they don't deserve).
I hope one day you do!!
I desperately want just one child. Just one. I've overcome many scary genetic and health obstacles and now I'm thinking I might be barren. It will destroy me to find that out.
@@chasevalentine2282 I sincerely hope you'll get to be a parent!
@@derpherpblerp Thank you. I hope so too. This video made me so sad. All these people treating their greatest blessings like trash.
When I was living with my dad and in a very depressing part of my life, he told me that he would get me a car as a gift. Guess who all of a sudden had to make the payments on the car after moving out... This is part of why I hated my dad, his gifts were conditional and my mom raised me to not believe that BS.
You just triggered some flashbacks:
"You have to go to college, but I'll pay for it." Loan comes due... "I'm not paying for that, it's your debt."
"You have to continue to go to college, I'm not paying for it, but I'll buy your books." Comes time to buy books... "I'm not paying for that, do you think money grows on trees?" Picks me up from the train station in a brand new car.
"I need $3,000." Months to years later I ask for the rest of my money... "What do you mean, I fixed a bunch of things on your car" (that didn't need fixing, that I didn't ask for, because he was bored).
I have a headache now.
38:49- IT ACTUALLY KEEPS GOING IM DYING
"Fish love" sounds like something my therapist should have taught me years ago
I'm in absolute disbelief at the mom at 20:33. The first reaction to that sort of a fall is like Click said, take the child to a Hospital. Not wait a few weeks then ask on a Facebook group. I certainly hope that's not real. That level of negligence is beyond me.
It's definitely real, I experienced something similar with a broken ankle, minus the Facebook group. However to me, people who do shit like that are barely human because they lack that basic natural instinct to help their child.
This is what happens when people who have no business having kids have them at a Young age dose no look into how to care for them because "motherly insistence is enough right?" These people also very rearly ask for help out of shame of being perceived as a bad parent
When she was 3, my granddaughter was being watched by her great-grandma and ate 42 of her synthroid pills. Didn't call 911 or poison control, told dad a couple hours later. Dad told mom the next day. Mom brought her in, she spent the next 4 days in the hospital.
@@robertpetrovich6776 I hope the child pulled out of it!
@@vapx0075
Thank you, yes she is OK now. The basic effect was a slow-motion stimulant OD, and the hospital treated her cautiously with sedatives (neither they nor poison control had seen a synthroid OD in a small child before). It peaked on her 3rd day in the hospital with a pulse of 200/minute and constant panic attacks, even though she was sedated. By her 4th day in the hospital, she was having effects but was returning to normal, so the hospital didn't fight dad removing her.
My mother is in my phone as "Birthgiver" as well. That made me chuckle. Love your content. Keep up the great work!
My Friends where shocked, that Mine are saved with their First names . . .
If my Bio mother was in my contatcs I would call her spawnpoint
I think these kinds of unfortunate situations are one thing the internet is good for. There’s a reason why these parents will be so strict regarding unsupervised access to the internet, it scares them since it could mean a potential breach in the child’s bubble. Like mold, child abuse thrives in darkness and enclosure, and the kids often can’t realize they’re being mistreated since they’ve been so thoroughly shielded from reality. I really hope that my generation will break this awful cycle, no one deserves to be treated like this…
Yeah, I the internet made me realize I was normal and what my mom was doing was not okay and that there are non religious people I don't believe should suffer and go to hell just because they don't believe in the god my family pushed on me, so if god is real he's not someone I'd respect if he's going to put good people in hell simply because they don't worship him
Not internet but being allowed out of her bubble to go to college might have saved a woman. I knew someone in college. It was super casual. She'd just sit at the same table as me maybe once a week while I was enjoying my food. She, according to her, was allergic to everything because her mother controlled her diet. Like how you can develop an allergy from not eating something. I still think her mother lied so she wouldn't eat things without her approval. Wheat, eggs, milk, red meat, nuts, soy! Every food allergy known! One day she was eating crackers and we were all worried. She said it was fine because she could see her ribs. The whole table actually screamed, in unison, in horror that that was not normal and we could almost see a switch flip. She calmly confirmed she shouldn't be able to see her own skeleton and put down her crackers like they were a symbol of her mother's control. If she had not been allowed out of the darkness to go to college she might have never known. All of us were excited to see her eating a sandwich the next time we saw her further proving her mom was restricting her diet to control her. She admitted her mother was angry but didn't stop her from packing it.
The internet can be dangerous, but kids will get on the internet eventually. If you really cared about your kids safety, teach them how to be safe online instead of just taking it away.
Fully agree! While there is a lot of dangerous and inappropriate things on the internet, had I not gone behind my mother's back I would have MUCH MORE EXTREME TRUST ISSUES!
She wanted me to be afraid of everything!
People who took medications, oh oh they might want you to try them! Which is very bad because it can kill you!
Cars who drive by in broad daylight while I'm walking to a friend's house, because people only drive in neighborhoods to kidnap people!
Boys! Men! All of them! Because they all lie and only want ONE thing from you!
The list could fucking go on.
And before anyone says something, yes there is *some* truth to all of them, but telling all of this to an early developing CHILD has done serious damage because she made it seem like it's all true for everyone.
That last one sounds like someone we would have gotten court ordered medication for when I worked at the inpatient unit. The adult child almost has grounds to have her committed based on that rant.
Hopefully enough for a restraining order. Sounds like she was setting the groundwork for a bunch of frivolous CPS calls
4:45, this section hit really hard for me. "You have no reason to struggle" was never said, but something similar was (the "you have it better than the kids in Africa" argument), plus what he said after about if the household is aggressive and unsafe... I understand a few things now
My family kitchen is literally a hallway. Barely enough room for two people to walk past each other and opening the fridge blocks the way through the kitchen. We have to leave through the kitchen as well to make things worse.
If someone’s in the way you just wait for them to close the fridge or squeeze past. How can anyone thinking making a strict schedule makes any sense, it’s not like everything stops while using the kitchen.
We used to have similiat schedules for games on first pc. It was to promote some drama about who´s gonna do something on it. It was actualy quite good idea.
Shout out to my friend who literally broke his rib and when he called out of work his boss told him to just "take a bath with lavender" so he could come into work.
People like that truly exist, don't they?
16:13 I'm actually on medication for ADHD and Autism, so what he says here actually makes sense. I used to be quite emotionally volatile, to the point where my grandmother (legal guardian) was legitimately afraid of who I was. Now that I am on the right combination of medication, I am in a much better mood, it just took her seeing me put in an upper-torso hold to say "alright, that's enough! Take him off all these meds, I want to see the real Game_Blox!" I used my username for obvious reasons. Anyway, the staff at the place I was at took me off of all my medication, and for once they let the medication effects wear off. After about a week, I started having real conversations with the staff and the other kids there. But one thing was still off, I couldn't stop moving my legs. My Grandma and I would be laying on the couch and she would read to me, but my legs just wouldn't stop shaking. So she would say "Game_Blox, stop shaking your legs." and I would try to, but after a few seconds, they would start shaking again. She knew something was wrong with me, so she took me to a doctor, told the doctor my symptoms, and the doctor prescribed a specific combination of medication, which I wouldn't tell you, even if I could, and they have worked like a charm ever since then. While there have been a few tweaks here and there to the ratio, the combo is basically a tried and true combination for me.
16:10 the parents:" you are not allowed to try and get a better mental health, STAY SAD!"
Who the hell wants their child to be sad and have depression, and disowns the child if they aren't.
13:25 my mother did this to me too!! i was vegan for a few years before i changed to pescatarian. she went vegan after me and started this insane health obsession that wouldn’t have happened if i never went vegan. now she is always telling me why eating literally anything is bad for me. she even saw the arizona iced tea i was drinking when i was at her house and was like “wow you really want to waste so many calories on a drink?” as well as calling me chubby and congratulating me when i began to rapidly loose weight due to an eating disorder that SHE CAUSED.
She sounds like she has the eating disorder now. Obsessing over calories isn’t healthy and they really don’t matter
My MiL is "health obsessed" like that and it drives me crazy. We didn't have rolls during Thanksgiving this year and when casually asked about it, she went off on this rant about "not wanting to waste the calories." Like good for you, but maybe we wanted bread? And it's not just with her cooking, either. I mean, her house, her decision on what goes on the table, right? But she also does this whenever we go out to eat with her or do any form of grocery shopping. She has to not only announce that she's eating the "healthy" thing and counting her calories, but she also passive aggressively judges her kids (aka my wife and her sister) for what they're ordering. It makes me bite my tongue until I'm threatening to draw blood, it makes me so mad. They've both struggled with eating disorders in the past as a result of this and yet the MiL still doesn't stop despite knowing this. 😠
ya mother is vegan?
heh,it really seems that inly eating grass affects your brain
Just remember, trying to control you weight is just that. It's control. You being healthy is all that should matter. I casually knew a girl who had a great life except just that, her mom controlled her food and she was a skeleton because of it. Just keep on reminding yourself: it's your life and she can't control you.
I hope your doing better
25:14 Legally, your parents cannot put you out of the house without somewhere to go, at least in the US. Your parents could be charged with Child Abandonment, Child Abuse, and Neglect. (Please note I'm by NO MEANS a legal professional, just going off of google mainly, but partially conversations with some people who know the law better than I do.)
Pretty sure they can be charged with child endangerment too
I know someone who told a friend 'you wouldn't be where you are if you didn't experience your trauma' and she didn't understand, that the friend could also be in a much better place and why we didn't like her argument
That’s backwards. You’d be a lot further if you weren’t traumatized. People just say anything out of their mouths.
Yes bc I’d be so much better if the two guys clearing their throats in my math 142 class didn’t cause me to panic from ptsd
Honestly I would love if Click left the white board with the drawing behind him in the rest of his videos for anywhere between a week to a month and anybody who missed this video or new viewers would be all confused about it but everyone who watched this video would know and it would be like an inside joke.
I think the channel is called tylertube, but there's a yter who has videos where he tests amazon products. 7 or so months ago he had a video where he used something to make pasta and to see if it was done he threw some pieces against the papers with patreon names behind him....
They're still there.
I showed a recent video of his to a friend and they asked about it so we watched the initial video and it became an inside joke between us.
So yes, i'd love if click kept his whiteboard between videos so people are prompted to go back and see why it was like thst
love it
My grandson (9) fell asleep on the couch, when I picked him up to take him to his bed he snuggled up to me…until I got to the door way his arms sprung out and clung to the door. I pulled back and tried at a different angle but same result. He told me he wanted to sleep on the couch, so I laid him back down, got his pillow and blanket and got him comfortable. Then kissed his forehead, told him “lll love you forever and for always” (what I say to the kids every night at bed) and left him to sleep. He didn’t remember a thing the next morning and got a kick out of him clinging to the door.
Side note as he gets bigger he has been pretending to fall asleep so I would carry him to bed.
That's just what I needed to hear after hearing that horrible story about that atrocious woman justifying hitting a child for sleeping anywhere in the house 💚 thats genuinely so sweet and how every parent should react x
This sub-reddit makes me want to weep for everyone who is suffering from this kind of parenting and for all those that have been traumatised by their parents. Sending loving and supportive energy. Stay strong beautiful people
28:09 I told my mom I’m asexual, and that I’m not interested in sex. (Mind you, I’m 17). She told me that I can’t just label myself that, and I might
*”change”* later on. I mean, sure, maybe one day I will be. I’m not saying I won’t. But for right now, no. We literally had an hour long argument about this. Because *”she wanted grandchildren.”* Bruh. Haven’t you heard of adopting?? I was planning on adopting kids, not just because of my sexuality. Mainly because of a hereditary disease I have. Then, when I told her that, she said, “Oh, that *can’t* be the only reason.” ..literally what were we just talking about, mom?
I'm also Ace
You should tell her "oh so you only had me in hopes that you could mold me into whatever you wanted me to be, so that you could control whether or not I had kids? YOU are not entitled to my children even if I DO have them. Children are not an EXTENSION of their parents. We are not tools for you to use and abuse.
As for your asexuality, you could tell her "you're right. Just because I've labelled myself as asexual now, doesn't mean there is no possibility of me changing how I feel later. But, asexuality is not a choice. It is different from celibacy or abstinence. I cannot control my lack of sexual attraction, the same as you cannot control your need for sex. It also does not mean asexual people are broken, or that we have low libidos. There are ace people with high sex drives, and there and ace people with low sex drives. I only told you because I want you to know who I am, I want your support as my mother, but YOU had to bring up wanting grandkids. I understand that it is reasonable for you to want me to have kids but that is NOT your choice, it's mine."
You could talk about other options with her, such as a surrogate mother carrying the child, adoption like you said, maybe you could go through IVF, if you're comfortable carrying and giving birth, and you can afford it later in life. There's so many options nowadays that she is either unaware of or chooses to ignore.
Yeah what I never get about the IT IS Just a Phase Argumentation IS, even If IT IS, does Not Change IT IS how someone feels at that moment, someone in their 50s getting a crush there then are sexually attracted to does Not retrospectivlly Change that they never experienced sexuall attraction in the 50 years before that!!!
@@AmieMorley-st6tz I showed her JaidenAnimation’s video about Being Gay, But Not Gay
But she seems to have forgotten that fact.
Just yesterday, there was a sex scene on TV, and I just went, “ew.”
She fucking *paused the movie* and gave me a lecture about “that’s what people do when they’re in love. It’s not disgusting, it’s out of love. That’s how you were made, out of love.”
I’m just sitting there like wtf
I had no idea what to say back. It was just.. so random. She used some very choice words, and it hurt.
@katieezell6609
She seems to forget that not all people have sex out of love. Some people.. just have sex. Casual relationships exist, with zero emotional ties.
You saying you DONT want to do something, that it makes you uncomfortable and unhappy.. that should be enough for your mum. I would understand her being concerned and a little sad, because as an allosexual myself, sometimes I get sad for aromantic and asexuals, but then I think, they can't miss what they don't have. And if they're happy without sex or romance, all power to them! Your mum needs to support you through this difficult time in your life, not make it even harder! And even if it does turn out that asexuality was a phase, even if you have sex later on, that doesn't automatically mean your asexually now is invalid ❤️
11:06 what is scary about this bit is this person basically ANNOUNCING that a person is going to be ALONE in a different city. Some bad actors could even go further and give the mother some "safe" locations to know the general area that ALONE person will be. Or even offer to "look after" the bloke and ask about him and where he plans to stay and visit.
“You gifted me this, why are you trying to take it back??” Because it wasn’t a gift, it was a *bribe* . You weren’t given it out of the goodness of their hearts, they wanted something in return for it, even if it wasn’t vocalized. When you don’t give them what they want (ie subservientness, love, forgiveness) they feel they have the right to take it back.
That huge rant at the end... holy lord. I don't talk about it much because I'm still very ashamed of it but I struggle with OCD ('Pure O' is a form of OCD where there are no physical compulsions, for anyone that doesn't know) and have basically for as long as I can remember. My intrusive thoughts only got worse as I got older and eventually, I developed compulsions. I'm pretty close to Pure O but I'm not Pure O bc I do have physical compulsions, although I try to do the compulsions covertly when I can bc of my co-morbid social anxiety disorder (my compulsions are things like touching wood, checking behind me when outside 'cause I'm worried I'll be attacked, having to repeat certain actions until it 'feels just right', checking locks, light switches, plug socket switches, oven dials and switches, etc). I struggled for so. Damn. Long. in absolute silence. I told my parents when I was a kid once about my intrusive thoughts but that was before I developed compulsions and I told them in floods of tears so they couldn't really understand everything I was saying anyway. They were very understanding and lovely abt it and comforted me and reassured me that my intrusive thoughts wouldn't come true but they didn't know what it could be. My mum has OCD but she has more cleanliness/germophobia, the "stereotypical" type. So she didn't know that this could also be OCD. And then, after my parents comforted me, I never told anyone again. I developed some compulsions around safety after I went on a fire safety awareness school trip when I was 10 and my mum started to suspect OCD then but just as she started to get worried and talk to me abt it, my compulsions started to disappear. Don't know why, don't know how, but after about a year, I stopped worrying so much abt fire safety and appeared to move on. But internally, I was still struggling with so many intrusive thoughts about other themes and I was too ashamed and afraid to tell anyone. I thought I was a monster. It really started to ramp up even more when I was 16 and that's when I began to touch wood as a compulsion. Still my worst, most pervasive compulsion. When I was 20, I finally found out that what I was experiencing could be OCD, and since it's in my family, I figured that's probably it. But I was still so scared to go to the doctor. The anxiety I'd been holding onto for years was just awful, it had just built and built and built to the point where I was just convinced that if I tried to get help, any healthcare professional would just see me as a monster and ship me off the nearest mental institution stat lol. So, I decided to start small. My best friend is one of the most accepting people in my life. Her and my parents have always made me feel so loved and safe. I thought if anyone was gonna understand, it would be either her or my parents. And even though my parents have always been accepting of me, I was still too scared to tell them, idk why. 😅 So yeah, I just told my best friend to start with. And she was so amazing, I can't thank her enough, she totally understood and accepted me and reassured me she still loved me and that I was not a monster, which is what I needed. She encouraged me to speak to my doctor, and so I did. At my appointment, I was a WRECK. And I'm so grateful that it was one of the last appointments with my old GP before he retired as well, 'cause he was a wonderful doctor. He would always try his best to help you, no matter what. So, whilst crying my eyes out and shaking like a leaf, I told him what had been going on. And he signposted me onto a counsellor and gave me sertraline for my anxiety (I'm not on it anymore, it didn't agree with me, I take venlafaxine 225mg and mirtazapine 15mg now. Also pregabalin but that's for fibromyalgia but it does help my mental health as well). I got diagnosed with OCD and started treatment. The biggest thing that helped me was when I found a medication that worked though (the one that worked was fluoxetine at the time, obviously now it has changed). I'm a lot better than I used to be. When I went to the doctor, I was suicidal. I genuinely thought I was a monster who deserved to die. And I'm not gonna lie and say it hasn't been rocky, it definitely has, but I'm proud of myself for still being here. My parents even know now. We don't really talk abt it bc I still have high anxiety surrounding my intrusive thoughts and prefer to just not address it and just be happy that the thoughts and compulsions are happening so much less frequently now. But I worked up the courage to tell them at least and I'm so proud of myself for that too. And they were wonderful. Very understanding of me and through the few conversations we have had about it, I've also come to understand my mum's form of OCD a lot better too. 🥰 But if somebody had ranted at me like that woman ranted at her daughter, I would not be here right now. If somebody had called me all those nasty names when I was at my lowest, when I already thought I was a monster, I would be a goner. That Redditor is so freaking strong for putting up with that. OCD is such a hard illness to live with and people should be supporting their loved ones who are going through it, not tearing them down even more.
I know I went on a long tangent abt my experience here but basically TL;DR: don't be a dick to people with OCD and accuse them of shit that they probably already think about themselves. If you wanna keep your loved ones who have OCD alive, support them. Be there for them. 'Cause rants like that are NOT love.
damn, I had no idea what she meant by 'pure O', the extra context just makes things worse. I'm glad you're doing better now
Going into full panic mode when someone does not answer within minutes isnt particularly healthy, but it does not always come from the angle of "wanting total control of anothers life", rather trauma response. Had a long time coping with this myself - there are few things worse than phone beeps
My home life was far from perfect and my parents didn't do the best job in all respects... But man, seeing these insane parents makes me glad for what I did have.
Oh well, the support I lacked from them will be instead supplied by an emotional support demon! Woo!
That works the other way too, which makes it difficult. Just because others had it so much worse, doesn't mean the things that hurt you are any better. It's good to be grateful, it's ok to still have struggled; accepting that was the first, hardest part of starting to heal from my own parental damage. :)
I was unfortunately one of those with insane parents, watching this is oddly comforting
It's never too late to turn over a new leaf. Good for you :)
It is helpful to know you're not the only one.
@@AmericanArchon im completely out of that situation so life is sm better :)
@Wolf-dog Cat-dog 2.0 i read it the same as you, but i reread it! it says "one of those WITH insane parents", jsyk :]
My mom (love her so much, she's honestly an amazing parent and an amazing person) showed me that weird post about stalking kids down like a bloodhound or whatever several years ago. I was a preteen/young teen and pretty freaked out by it, but I think she was mostly thinking about it in terms of my safety. Funny finding it on here again.
ah yes. insane parents. like my grandmother, who screamed at me for not knowing when the person she'd arranged to take our old carpet to the tip was coming and saying she'd told me, then when I pressed her five minutes later she admitted she'd told my aunt and couldn't remember if I was in the room or not, and yelled at me for daring to say that she needs to check that she's actually told me things. good times
When I watched this, this made me realize how accepting my parents are. Videos like these really help you be grateful.
Same, believe me mine are no where near perfect and are still really irritating, but could be a lot worse
Howdy, fellow fuzzy friend
yeah be grateful we got served bs we have to work through now
yo,furry
"There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes." -Tom Baker, 4th Doctor.
That being said its not like you can do whatever you what, its that you do whatever you enjoy (within legal limits)
32:56 Here’s something the “shrine” topic made me think of, but in a wholesome way:
So my dad is a bit messy in his closet and my mom asked for help cleaning it for him while he was busy. (Organizing and the like)
I agreed, but when I went in I found every origami piece I made for him on his dresser. When I was younger a made them as a hobby and occasionally gave them to him. He kept every. single. one.
I’m gonna cry.
@tommorrison1960 I try to focus on what i have. glad I could make your day a little better
Good parents do things like that.
My kids once decided to sleep UNDER my bed, because they felt safer there and I still have a picture of it, lol)
And sometimes they decided to sneak into their little play tent in their room and sleep there.
Did I mind? I sometimes was worried if they would get decent sleep, but after I saw it always worked out, I just let them. Why not? I would've loved if my mother would let me sleep in the tent I build as a kid, but I just got scolded for getting the blankets in disorder