For all the idiots who claim homosexuality is a choice: According to that "logic", you are suggesting that EVERYONE is romantically/sexually attracted to both genders and heterosexuals choose the opposite gender!! In other words, heterosexual men like both men and women, but CHOOSE women. Does that make sense?
+Poker Champ Bestiality and pedophilia are not anywhere in the same boat as homosexuality, but thank you for trying to spread your ignorance online. Have a nice day and hopefully you open your mind at some point in the future because it's close tightly shut at the moment.
+EyeLuvTDL There's thosuands of example of gay people swtiching back and forth u idiot. That is the proof that its a choice. You're a really pathetic stupid individual u fit right in with these degenerates
Poker Champ With pedophilia there is a victim. Homosexuality is consensual between two people of the same gender. There is plenty of reliable proof that an adult having sex with a child is more likely than not to traumatize or damage that child's development in one way or another. The two are neither comparable nor relatable, but thank you for showing us that you can't even have a civil argument without spewing unnecessary and pointless insults to help you think you are correct. Have a nice day and please learn to manage your anger :) I also suggest you take some psychology classes at a nearby community college, since you need factual and scientific proof for what you don't know.
Scott a big thank you for sharing your experience with us, I'm sure you've reached many anguished hearts out there, including mine. I think that our society in general is on a path towards acceptance, we just have be patient, stand strong and lean on each others when necessary, but always keeping in mind that no conquest comes easy. It makes me really happy to know you decided to give life a chance.
WOW! Even though it's over 2 years old, I stumbled upon this particular video after reading the story on Ottawa Citizen, after watching one of the videos embedded on that page. This is one of the most powerful testimonies I've seen or read on the "choice" issue! Still, there are none so deaf as those who will not listen. You should be a writer, Scott.
Scott, I came back to watch your video and I am sharing it by email with a few people who are discussing homosexuality. Even though I have seen this video numerous times, your video remains powerful and moving. Thank you for caring enough to be out and to share your videos with us. You have enriched our lives.
Thank you for such a deep, deep, personal reflection and sharing it with us. Even though this video is several years old - it's relevance still sings out strong today. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
I wish I'd heard your story when I was a teen. Our stories are so similar. I, too, almost chose option B. I couldn't, so I chose option A for many years. It wasn't until just before my 39th birthday that I was finally able to admit the truth to myself and come out to anyone - my sister. Despite feeling that I waited too long, it IS better now. Your story can help a lot of kids find peace in their lives so they don't waste it like I did. You are a valuable resource. Thanks for being you.
Thank you for posting this and thank you for not killing yourself. If only one person watches this and doesn't kill themselves, it will be all worth it. The world needs more people like you.
Thanks for sharing this, it helped me understand better why some kids might feel like suicide was the only "choice" they think they have. You told your story very clearly, I hope some parents and friends of teens hear you
Thank you so much for making this video. You have evoked so many memories. I am 41 now, came out in high school and never looked back. It was very tough in the 80's to do that, as it is now. It does get better.
You should be very proud of yourself for having the courage to tell your story and to admit to yourself and others that you are gay. It sounds like it was a massive step and it must have been really hard. And I am glad your family were so accepting, we need more people in the world like that.
This is the absolutely best explanation of how this questions affects kids. You articulated it with such clarity and emotion that I was so moved. I don't think I understood the revelation even though I understand it's not a choice. This is an excellent video that I want to share with PFLAG because it's so honest and so genuine. I thank God that you made it through that tough time. You are an inspiration and thank you so much for sharing this personal story. Take care.
that was truly an amazing and moving video, so many memories came flodding back, and the pain i heard in your voice is that which i felt inside of me. Thank you for having the courage to make this video.
Thank you for sharing this very personal story. I think it is so important and hopefully it will have turned some people around. It's a tragedy that so many people are committing suicide out of fear or shame of being gay and it has to stop.
This video took me back 23 years, I was almost a carbon copy of this young man. The thing people need to take from this is that him and I were a part of the lucky few, I know people that have lost some or all of there friends and family just for being born the way they are. I have seen what the lies and hate other people can do to people that want nothing more then to live there lives and be excepted for who they are, and maybe even be loved. Thank you for this Scott, my heart goes out to you.
WOW, Thanks for making this series of videos. I'm a bit older, and live more closeted than I should, and you've made me understand that on a level I never have before. Thanks for caring about more than just yourself, I'll pay this forward, Thanks, rick
You just told my life story. My attempt was at 18 with a car and a bridge, with tears in my eyes, hoping it would end. I chickened out, but as I drove over that bridge, everything went in slow motion. I saw everything, as it would have been, had I gone through with it. I could not have said anything better. I am glad you chose family over suicide. You are too special a person, and I want to thank you for this video.
My heart broke when you said option 2, It's sad. I'm a gay teen that just wants to be accepted, I've tried to be straight, people have told me I can be, but no matter what, I'm still me. I've had suicidal thoughts, your video has really helped me, it's nice to know that I am accepted, even by a stranger :)
You're not alone. Your story and my story are very similar. I came so close to taking my life. The only thing that stopped me was seeing a paper I had for humanitarian causes, for people around the world fighting for their lives. And here I was taking mine, and abandoning what I wanted to do to help preserve that of others, I felt so selfish that i was ashamed. Thats all that stopped me. That event has shaped me more than anything.
My opinion is that it has something to do with puberty when you realize your gay. For me it was anyways. As before that knew that I was different but didn't know what that meant. Still did boy things like climbing trees and playing in the dirt and stuff. But wasn't attracted to other boys my age until puberty. I didn't choose to be gay I'm not a sadist.
Almost the exact same thing happened to me when I was 19, with a similar resolution - except for "family" read "friends" (THEN family). I bet we're not the only two to go through something like this. Good on you for sharing this, mate!
thank you for sharing your story with so many of us. your honesty and raw approach to this subject is amazing and perfect Scott. you have a commanding presence in your videos and you are able to make you points with clarity and hope for others that are in similar situations. you are bang on about it not being a choice to be gay or not. the choice is simply about being true to yourself and living a live of authentic truth. thank you again for give a voice to this issue. cheers. b
I was raised going to church since I was 4yrs and till this day I still go. And I am gay. It was not my choice, it never was. I've tried to get help from friends and family to be straight, and nothing happened to me. I am and will ALWAYS be myself. Nobody else. Such a very touching story! :)
Wow.....you are a very powerful speaker...if more people listened to you I think we would be living in a much more accepting society. Thank you, this video has helped me in more ways then you could imagine!!!
A great quote I stumbled on: "I'D RATHER BE HATED FOR WHO I AM THAN LOVED FOR WHO I AM NOT" Here's one I came up with myself: Sexuality is not determined by what's between our legs, but what's between our ears.
Wow I'm so incredibly joyful that your family accepted you. We'll come to a day I'm sure when all families will. I would agree being gay isn't a choice, just like sexuality isn't a choice. I believe it's just another gift. As for the suffering inflicted on unaccepted gay people: embrace the lesson. Being rejected by my parents made me so much stronger in my own skin. And that one lesson taught me that I can embrace EVERYTHING that I am and be my OWN allie. I love being lesbian!
Dear Big93scott, Thank you for sharing this story. As an openly gay male myself I can relate to this although I never did come quite that close to committing suicide. For me, the realization that everyone who believed that being gay was a choice came very quickly when I discovered I was attracted only to men when I was 13. However, this realization only made me feel doomed and helpless since I realized that I could never explain that it wasn't a choice without coming out and even then nobody w
Thank you for what you said here, big93scott. I used to do my best to pretend I am not gay or to give that impression when around both family members and in public. However, I have noticed that the older I became the more energy it took to play this charade. Literally, it was exhausting to do! Also, fortunately enough, the older I became the easier it is for me to accept being gay. This took much soul-searching. I still have not completely accepted being gay yet. I hope to someday
Your experience demonstrates one particular scenario involving choice over sexual orientation; or more accurately, it shows how you've chosen to perceive and interpret your experience, leading you to a conclusion that cannot possibly be applied to the rest of the population.
GREAT VIDEO!! You are right when you say that only those going through it know the truth: IT'S NOT A CHOICE. The confusion is between being who you are (born gay) and living who you are (living openly). TWO DIFFERENT THINGS. There seems be people who think that eventhough you are born gay, you should CHOOSE not to live openly/gay. Which is just crazy because you are not you, you are not free, you will be miserable and destroy other peoples lifes (the straight spouse). Like you said, (whe
I started crying at the end, this stuff really gets to me sometimes, I hate what the world is, and how it hurts so many people that don't deserve it. I hate that this is what we are, judgemental, and unaccepting, and so close-minded to what we don't understand. and I hate that there is nothing I can do to fix it. There's nothing I can say to make people understand that they're hurting people. And it kills me.
this video may be old... but i went through the same exact thing. i still havent told my parents yet though. i remember sitting in my bathtub, pressing the knife to my wrist. but for some reason, i couldn't... ive come out to almost everyone except my family and they have all been supportive. thank you for making this video... and i hope everyother gay teen will see this.
I know the feeling, except I am lucky enough I am not this far. I've not come out to my family, because my father is homophobic and I don't know about my mother. This video has given me strength. Thank you so much.
Thank you very much for this story.... I happened to run across this video and it so touched on a lot of things I thought about when I figured out I was gay. Hopefully other young people that are coming to terms with their sexuality will see this video.... thanks again
the right motivation to make your choice. Most people aren't 100% straight or gay but rather somewhere in-between the two extremes we make our preferences based on who's the most compatible romantically and sexually. In all honestly heterosexuals make absolutely no sense to me outside the reproduction aspect of life, but it's a choice and we're all free to have our preferences. Love and light
con: APA meant, with your comment, that attraction is connected with our own animal instincts, i.e it is what we are attracted to. That is where the old saying of " we can not choose what we are attracted to" comes from. BUT! one thing they do point out, you can teach yourself to ignore that attraction and negate it.
This is so eloquently put. I've been pondering the notion of "homosexuality as a choice" for the last few days actually, and it's not a choice any more than you have a choice over how fast your toenails grow or what colour your eyes are. I've been lucky to have accepting friends and family, but so many people don't. Why would they choose to bring upon themselves potential heartache and desolation if they don't have the right people around them? I don't get the ignorance that still surrounds us!
i was there too. i understand how you felt beacause i went through almost exactly that. though my family doesn't accept me for WHO i am.... they dont say who you are they say what. and i havnt yet made THE decision. yet the oonly thing that stops the razor is my heart saying gay is right, be WHO you are, dont do this, stop.
Very good video! I think this a very good thing for you to do, telling your story. Telling that being gay is NOT a choice. It's important that people know the thruth. Because it's not a choice. You don't become to be gay, you are gay from birth or at least early childhood. I'm glad that you are alive today, because you're a very good looking and kind guy. I would like to be your boyfriend but you probably have a boyfriend already. I want to give you a big, warm and friendly hug to you. ;)
U inspired me with your story and your strength. I know it mustve been hard, but i applaude you for it, because ut made me feel stronger and more confident inside. The nearly brought tears to my eyes (which never happens) because i can relate to wanting to change. I told myself i was going to marry and have kids with a woman, because i didnt want to be gay. But now im open to mysrlf, and your story may hav just helped me be more open to others.
Very good, very powerful message. I was called gay every day in middle school, and I honestly didn't know what gay was. I thought I was gay, because all my friends were guys. It wasn't until 8th grade, I found out that I was actually straight, and started to have sexual thoughts for women. This led me to homophobia for a short period of time, and now I realize how horrible these homophobic people are. I know many homophobic people who hate me for my tolerance of gays.
I always said if you could actually choose your sexuality, i most certainly would be straight. I tried for the majority of 25 years to be straight.....and I mean TRIED...desperately tried to be straight. It just doesn't work that way. We are who we are. Nothing we can do about it. The only control we have is how we think of ourselves.
i can relate i felt the same at 13 i was extremly confused but now im happy once i came to accept myself i told my family as well they don't mind at all and i found someone i truely love .
@ScienceReasonBelief I missed this part, I never said that being able to tell when a man is attractive is the same as having a sexual attraction to them. I said that it is a step behind , what you are saying is being attracted to the same sex in a sexual way. It is when a person goes through those two stages where it is what you are pointing out, being sexually attracted to the same sex.
@tripeandbean -- It's amazing that there are people who would ACTUALLY CARED who someone marries enough to try to legislate a ban against gay marriage. The kind of person who would go out of their way to discriminate is someone I've never understood. They rarely can see how irrational their beliefs are.
Very sad to see another gay kid who commited suicide friday : ( This time another 15 y/o jamie but from canada. I thought of you scott & this vid, realizing just how a suicidal teen is too much like a feather in the wind, landing wherever, instead of taking the life given & riding that bull for all it's worth. Things DO get better, you scott are a perfect example. Give ur BF a kiss for all of us, hope to see ya soon
hey thanks buddy for sharing your story. im a 47 year old guy who is gay living in australia . being gay was and has never been a choice for me that is just who i am .
I am saddened by all the intolerant people that post under videos like this one. Just because you do not understand a behavior, just because someone is different does not mean that you gain the right to marginalize and harass them. No matter what your religion, what you believe about homosexuality... I hope that one day you will see the PEOPLE that are harmed by the bigotry in our world. I am gay and proud of who I am. Thanks for sharing your story Big93Scott.
whoso would CHOOSE to be gay? It is so hard to be different. You can choose to live in way that isn't who you really are, it's hard ...I was 45 before I was secure enough to admit who I was..pretending that I was hetero as painful..but I was afraid of not conforming.. Iwas living a lie, I only wanted love, from someone like me..I never wanted to make anyone feel for me something that they didn't already feel.. It's so hard to to be "different".people just, often, don't try to understand....
You are so very eloquent. Thank you for sharing your story. I had a similar series of thoughts growing up, and came up with the same conclusion. With a world that shows so much hatred towards gay people, why would one choose to be gay?
And I just. I was so unbelievably tired of being secret about it. And when I came out, I was so happy that my friends and family accepted me and I just I cried.
@8Splendiferous8 "it`s just that some people choose to repress their gay thoughts and others CHOOSE to accept them"? You just answered your own question and proved my point.
@anotherbottleofbeer The American Psychiatric Association noted in a 2000 fact sheet on gay, lesbian and bisexual issues that “no specific psychosocial or family dynamic cause for homosexuality has been identified, including histories of childhood sexual abuse.” The fact sheet goes on to say that sexual abuse does not appear to be any more prevalent among children who grow up and identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual than in children who grow up and identify as heterosexual.
I remember when I was really young I thought of growing and marrying some blond girl, And then I "chose" to become gay and hide my true self , become closed to others and literally hide from everyone , thinking what to do with myself tomorrow
@QLEANQLASSY- Behavior is a choice. A straight person can choose to be celibate in sexual behavior. That doesn't change the fact that they are straight, nor will it change their attractions to the opposite sex. Can you as a straight person choose to become sexually attracted to the same sex? If so, how does that happen? Explain how to become sexually attracted to the same sex if you are straight? How does that process of choice come about? How do you change your attractions?
thanks scott... well said... i fought it for 30 years before I came out... wasted a ton of my life trying to be str8 and alone. Served two mormon missions, went to church every week,, hung out with girls all the time (haha that part was easy) My family still believes it's a choice and we just don't talk about it.
I used to think it was a choice, but my brother, an aunt and a cousin are all gay and i know them well enough to say its not their choice. At one stage my brother considered it a curse. No one choses to be cursed.
I never felt insecure or helpless. I just knew that I was attracted to guys early on in life. Indeed, MOST gay people go through denial and tell themselves over and over again the lie that they are NOT gay. And after years and years of that, they finally realize that they have no choice in the matter and they can't change, and they have a choice to decide between continuing to hate themselves and live a miserable life or finally accept themselves and come to terms with it.
Being gay is a choice! I was born bisexual with a preference for females but as time went by I realized I had little to nothing in common with men romantically and sexually stereotypically speaking (yes stereotypes hold a lot of validity sometimes) and as a result I decided to go completely lesbian. Since I made that decision I have experienced little to no attraction to my male counterparts within the last three years, thus I am a living example that sexual orientation is a choice you just need
stay yourself!!!!!!!! peace to all bi straight gay I don't care peace to everybody! just stay strong man stay strong I believe in strong people like you the world needs more people like you with the will to just be who you are don't let anyone tell you other wise.
AWESOME VIDEO! Thank you for this video! No matter what the haters say, no matter how the homophobic people may condemn you and me, please know that you are loved by the Creator of all things! - Blessings in all that you do - David L.
thank you for your video & your story, i have subscribed & i have shared your story with my family & friends & hopefully your story will change minds who dont know any better but i know for sure that your story will save lives
@JeremyLewisIngram Unless someone is bisexual, it is physically impossible for them to switch one sexual orientation for another, no more than you can decide one day to be gay. The difference between sexuality and something like "drugs" is the fact that sexuality IS NOT A HABIT. Most gay people realize they're attracted to the same sex when they're still kids BEFORE they've even had any sexual encounter.
Only a person in this situation can relate to this misery. I feel so happy now that I never killed myself. I mulled the thought of suicide so many times in my mind growing up. Now I am so liberated and relieved that I can live life happy as long as I stop lying to myself and accept that being gay is part of me! I could never be happier. Sure, I've been condemned by my family. But they do not understand my situation either. Eventually they might love me again--even though I never rejected them.
@Imaginefree69 After hearing of your illness....I'm done. Enough has been said. That saddens me a bit too much to continue in this. I hope the best for you...I really do.
For all the idiots who claim homosexuality is a choice: According to that "logic", you are suggesting that EVERYONE is romantically/sexually attracted to both genders and heterosexuals choose the opposite gender!! In other words, heterosexual men like both men and women, but CHOOSE women. Does that make sense?
+Poker Champ Bestiality and pedophilia are not anywhere in the same boat as homosexuality, but thank you for trying to spread your ignorance online. Have a nice day and hopefully you open your mind at some point in the future because it's close tightly shut at the moment.
+EyeLuvTDL There's thosuands of example of gay people swtiching back and forth u idiot. That is the proof that its a choice. You're a really pathetic stupid individual u fit right in with these degenerates
+Poker Champ , What about all the straight guys having gay sex in prison? Are they heteros who switch back and forth?
Poker Champ With pedophilia there is a victim. Homosexuality is consensual between two people of the same gender. There is plenty of reliable proof that an adult having sex with a child is more likely than not to traumatize or damage that child's development in one way or another. The two are neither comparable nor relatable, but thank you for showing us that you can't even have a civil argument without spewing unnecessary and pointless insults to help you think you are correct. Have a nice day and please learn to manage your anger :)
I also suggest you take some psychology classes at a nearby community college, since you need factual and scientific proof for what you don't know.
exactly
Scott a big thank you for sharing your experience with us, I'm sure you've reached many anguished hearts out there, including mine. I think that our society in general is on a path towards acceptance, we just have be patient, stand strong and lean on each others when necessary, but always keeping in mind that no conquest comes easy.
It makes me really happy to know you decided to give life a chance.
This brought a tear to my eye, I literally felt the pain that you felt at 13.
WOW! Even though it's over 2 years old, I stumbled upon this particular video after reading the story on Ottawa Citizen, after watching one of the videos embedded on that page. This is one of the most powerful testimonies I've seen or read on the "choice" issue! Still, there are none so deaf as those who will not listen. You should be a writer, Scott.
I wanted to say that you just saved my life. Thank you.
Scott, I came back to watch your video and I am sharing it by email with a few people who are discussing homosexuality. Even though I have seen this video numerous times, your video remains powerful and moving. Thank you for caring enough to be out and to share your videos with us. You have enriched our lives.
Thank you so much for sharing this with us! I admire your strength and I'm glad you made this video.
Thank you for being brave enough to post this video. It moved me to tears. You're an inspiration!
Thank you for such a deep, deep, personal reflection and sharing it with us. Even though this video is several years old - it's relevance still sings out strong today. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
I wish I'd heard your story when I was a teen. Our stories are so similar. I, too, almost chose option B. I couldn't, so I chose option A for many years. It wasn't until just before my 39th birthday that I was finally able to admit the truth to myself and come out to anyone - my sister. Despite feeling that I waited too long, it IS better now. Your story can help a lot of kids find peace in their lives so they don't waste it like I did. You are a valuable resource. Thanks for being you.
Thank you for posting this and thank you for not killing yourself. If only one person watches this and doesn't kill themselves, it will be all worth it. The world needs more people like you.
You are so open and real, and I think it's amazing that you don't hide your feelings.
Thanks for sharing this, it helped me understand better why some kids might feel like suicide was the only "choice" they think they have. You told your story very clearly, I hope some parents and friends of teens hear you
Thank you so much for making this video. You have evoked so many memories. I am 41 now, came out in high school and never looked back. It was very tough in the 80's to do that, as it is now. It does get better.
You should be very proud of yourself for having the courage to tell your story and to admit to yourself and others that you are gay. It sounds like it was a massive step and it must have been really hard. And I am glad your family were so accepting, we need more people in the world like that.
This is the absolutely best explanation of how this questions affects kids. You articulated it with such clarity and emotion that I was so moved. I don't think I understood the revelation even though I understand it's not a choice. This is an excellent video that I want to share with PFLAG because it's so honest and so genuine. I thank God that you made it through that tough time. You are an inspiration and thank you so much for sharing this personal story. Take care.
that was truly an amazing and moving video, so many memories came flodding back, and the pain i heard in your voice is that which i felt inside of me. Thank you for having the courage to make this video.
Thank you for sharing this very personal story. I think it is so important and hopefully it will have turned some people around. It's a tragedy that so many people are committing suicide out of fear or shame of being gay and it has to stop.
This video took me back 23 years, I was almost a carbon copy of this young man. The thing people need to take from this is that him and I were a part of the lucky few, I know people that have lost some or all of there friends and family just for being born the way they are. I have seen what the lies and hate other people can do to people that want nothing more then to live there lives and be excepted for who they are, and maybe even be loved.
Thank you for this Scott, my heart goes out to you.
WOW,
Thanks for making this series of videos. I'm a bit older, and live more closeted than I should, and you've made me understand that on a level I never have before.
Thanks for caring about more than just yourself,
I'll pay this forward,
Thanks,
rick
You just told my life story. My attempt was at 18 with a car and a bridge, with tears in my eyes, hoping it would end. I chickened out, but as I drove over that bridge, everything went in slow motion. I saw everything, as it would have been, had I gone through with it.
I could not have said anything better. I am glad you chose family over suicide. You are too special a person, and I want to thank you for this video.
My heart broke when you said option 2, It's sad. I'm a gay teen that just wants to be accepted, I've tried to be straight, people have told me I can be, but no matter what, I'm still me. I've had suicidal thoughts, your video has really helped me, it's nice to know that I am accepted, even by a stranger :)
I'm so glad you are here to tell your story!
I'm so sorry you went through that. I'm glad you were able to pull yourself back from that dark place.
You're not alone. Your story and my story are very similar. I came so close to taking my life. The only thing that stopped me was seeing a paper I had for humanitarian causes, for people around the world fighting for their lives. And here I was taking mine, and abandoning what I wanted to do to help preserve that of others, I felt so selfish that i was ashamed. Thats all that stopped me. That event has shaped me more than anything.
WOW. Extremely powerful message. If only everyone would listen to this. It could possibly save thousands of lives.
My opinion is that it has something to do with puberty when you realize your gay. For me it was anyways. As before that knew that I was different but didn't know what that meant. Still did boy things like climbing trees and playing in the dirt and stuff. But wasn't attracted to other boys my age until puberty.
I didn't choose to be gay I'm not a sadist.
Almost the exact same thing happened to me when I was 19, with a similar resolution - except for "family" read "friends" (THEN family).
I bet we're not the only two to go through something like this. Good on you for sharing this, mate!
thank you for sharing your story with so many of us. your honesty and raw approach to this subject is amazing and perfect Scott. you have a commanding presence in your videos and you are able to make you points with clarity and hope for others that are in similar situations. you are bang on about it not being a choice to be gay or not. the choice is simply about being true to yourself and living a live of authentic truth. thank you again for give a voice to this issue. cheers. b
I was raised going to church since I was 4yrs and till this day I still go. And I am gay. It was not my choice, it never was. I've tried to get help from friends and family to be straight, and nothing happened to me. I am and will ALWAYS be myself. Nobody else. Such a very touching story! :)
Wow.....you are a very powerful speaker...if more people listened to you I think we would be living in a much more accepting society. Thank you, this video has helped me in more ways then you could imagine!!!
A great quote I stumbled on: "I'D RATHER BE HATED FOR WHO I AM THAN LOVED FOR WHO I AM NOT"
Here's one I came up with myself: Sexuality is not determined by what's between our legs, but what's between our ears.
THIS VIDEO IS SUCH A TEAR-JERKER. YOU HAVE AMAZING STRENGTH
Wow I'm so incredibly joyful that your family accepted you. We'll come to a day I'm sure when all families will. I would agree being gay isn't a choice, just like sexuality isn't a choice. I believe it's just another gift.
As for the suffering inflicted on unaccepted gay people: embrace the lesson. Being rejected by my parents made me so much stronger in my own skin. And that one lesson taught me that I can embrace EVERYTHING that I am and be my OWN allie.
I love being lesbian!
Can I give you a hug?? I'm so proud of you that you got on youtube and told your story.
Amazingly persuasive argument by such an articulate young man! God bless!
Dear Big93scott,
Thank you for sharing this story. As an openly gay male myself I can relate to this although I never did come quite that close to committing suicide. For me, the realization that everyone who believed that being gay was a choice came very quickly when I discovered I was attracted only to men when I was 13. However, this realization only made me feel doomed and helpless since I realized that I could never explain that it wasn't a choice without coming out and even then nobody w
What a powerful and beautiful video. Thank you for your honesty and courage and eloquence.
Thank you for what you said here, big93scott.
I used to do my best to pretend I am not gay or to give that impression when around both family members and in public. However, I have noticed that the older I became the more energy it took to play this charade. Literally, it was exhausting to do! Also, fortunately enough, the older I became the easier it is for me to accept being gay. This took much soul-searching. I still have not completely accepted being gay yet. I hope to someday
Well said. You´ve been through a lot.I hope this video will help others to understand. It definitely helped me.
Your experience demonstrates one particular scenario involving choice over sexual orientation; or more accurately, it shows how you've chosen to perceive and interpret your experience, leading you to a conclusion that cannot possibly be applied to the rest of the population.
GREAT VIDEO!! You are right when you say that only those going through it know the truth: IT'S NOT A CHOICE.
The confusion is between being who you are (born gay) and living who you are (living openly). TWO DIFFERENT THINGS. There seems be people who think that eventhough you are born gay, you should CHOOSE not to live openly/gay. Which is just crazy because you are not you, you are not free, you will be miserable and destroy other peoples lifes (the straight spouse). Like you said, (whe
I started crying at the end, this stuff really gets to me sometimes, I hate what the world is, and how it hurts so many people that don't deserve it. I hate that this is what we are, judgemental, and unaccepting, and so close-minded to what we don't understand. and I hate that there is nothing I can do to fix it. There's nothing I can say to make people understand that they're hurting people. And it kills me.
i'm also gay and you inspire me so incredible much.. im so thankful that you made this video
I am glad you are still alive and I am glad you did not harm yourself
This was so touching, thank you for sharing that with us, I can tell how hard it was for you to share.
this video may be old... but i went through the same exact thing. i still havent told my parents yet though. i remember sitting in my bathtub, pressing the knife to my wrist. but for some reason, i couldn't... ive come out to almost everyone except my family and they have all been supportive. thank you for making this video... and i hope everyother gay teen will see this.
Thank you for the wonderful video.
powerful, passionate and perfectly said. I salute you.
I know the feeling, except I am lucky enough I am not this far. I've not come out to my family, because my father is homophobic and I don't know about my mother. This video has given me strength. Thank you so much.
Thank you very much for this story.... I happened to run across this video and it so touched on a lot of things I thought about when I figured out I was gay. Hopefully other young people that are coming to terms with their sexuality will see this video.... thanks again
the right motivation to make your choice. Most people aren't 100% straight or gay but rather somewhere in-between the two extremes we make our preferences based on who's the most compatible romantically and sexually. In all honestly heterosexuals make absolutely no sense to me outside the reproduction aspect of life, but it's a choice and we're all free to have our preferences. Love and light
con: APA meant, with your comment, that attraction is connected with our own animal instincts, i.e it is what we are attracted to. That is where the old saying of " we can not choose what we are attracted to" comes from. BUT! one thing they do point out, you can teach yourself to ignore that attraction and negate it.
This is so eloquently put. I've been pondering the notion of "homosexuality as a choice" for the last few days actually, and it's not a choice any more than you have a choice over how fast your toenails grow or what colour your eyes are. I've been lucky to have accepting friends and family, but so many people don't. Why would they choose to bring upon themselves potential heartache and desolation if they don't have the right people around them? I don't get the ignorance that still surrounds us!
i was there too. i understand how you felt beacause i went through almost exactly that. though my family doesn't accept me for WHO i am.... they dont say who you are they say what. and i havnt yet made THE decision. yet the oonly thing that stops the razor is my heart saying gay is right, be WHO you are, dont do this, stop.
Very good video! I think this a very good thing for you to do, telling your story. Telling that being gay is NOT a choice. It's important that people know the thruth. Because it's not a choice. You don't become to be gay, you are gay from birth or at least early childhood. I'm glad that you are alive today, because you're a very good looking and kind guy. I would like to be your boyfriend but you probably have a boyfriend already. I want to give you a big, warm and friendly hug to you. ;)
BRILLIANT commentary!!! Well said for us all !!!!
You have my full respect, it's 2011, people should be allowed to live their lives without the fear of other people's prejudices.
A question sentence has a question mark at the end. Where is your question in your comment? Not avoiding anything. No question was posed or asked.
I forgot what it was like to be afraid of not having a home anymore. Thank you for making this video :).
Great video:) Thank you for sharing this with us. It takes a lot to talk about this stuff. You are an inspiration.
U inspired me with your story and your strength. I know it mustve been hard, but i applaude you for it, because ut made me feel stronger and more confident inside. The nearly brought tears to my eyes (which never happens) because i can relate to wanting to change. I told myself i was going to marry and have kids with a woman, because i didnt want to be gay. But now im open to mysrlf, and your story may hav just helped me be more open to others.
I resonate deeply with your story. Thankyou so very much for posting it. thankyou.
Very good, very powerful message. I was called gay every day in middle school, and I honestly didn't know what gay was. I thought I was gay, because all my friends were guys. It wasn't until 8th grade, I found out that I was actually straight, and started to have sexual thoughts for women. This led me to homophobia for a short period of time, and now I realize how horrible these homophobic people are. I know many homophobic people who hate me for my tolerance of gays.
I always said if you could actually choose your sexuality, i most certainly would be straight. I tried for the majority of 25 years to be straight.....and I mean TRIED...desperately tried to be straight. It just doesn't work that way. We are who we are. Nothing we can do about it. The only control we have is how we think of ourselves.
i can relate i felt the same at 13 i was extremly confused but now im happy once i came to accept myself i told my family as well they don't mind at all and i found someone i truely love .
@ScienceReasonBelief I missed this part, I never said that being able to tell when a man is attractive is the same as having a sexual attraction to them. I said that it is a step behind , what you are saying is being attracted to the same sex in a sexual way. It is when a person goes through those two stages where it is what you are pointing out, being sexually attracted to the same sex.
Love this, had those feelings so long ago, now am out and proud and someday a grandfather, whose grandchild will know how to treat all people!!!
@tripeandbean -- It's amazing that there are people who would ACTUALLY CARED who someone marries enough to try to legislate a ban against gay marriage. The kind of person who would go out of their way to discriminate is someone I've never understood. They rarely can see how irrational their beliefs are.
Very sad to see another gay kid who commited suicide friday : ( This time another 15 y/o jamie but from canada. I thought of you scott & this vid, realizing just how a suicidal teen is too much like a feather in the wind, landing wherever, instead of taking the life given & riding that bull for all it's worth. Things DO get better, you scott are a perfect example. Give ur BF a kiss for all of us, hope to see ya soon
hey thanks buddy for sharing your story. im a 47 year old guy who is gay living in australia . being gay was and has never been a choice for me that is just who i am .
Wow, I honestly have no words to describe how insanely awesome and powerful this video is. Just..wow...great job wow. Lol I can't stop saying wow
I am saddened by all the intolerant people that post under videos like this one. Just because you do not understand a behavior, just because someone is different does not mean that you gain the right to marginalize and harass them. No matter what your religion, what you believe about homosexuality... I hope that one day you will see the PEOPLE that are harmed by the bigotry in our world. I am gay and proud of who I am. Thanks for sharing your story Big93Scott.
whoso would CHOOSE to be gay? It is so hard to be different. You can choose to live in way that isn't who you really are, it's hard ...I was 45 before I was secure enough to admit who I was..pretending that I was hetero as painful..but I was afraid of not conforming.. Iwas living a lie, I only wanted love, from someone like me..I never wanted to make anyone feel for me something that they didn't already feel.. It's so hard to to be "different".people just, often, don't try to understand....
i love you. i wish you the best. im glad to see you dont let the stupid, ignorant people get to you.
This video can change the minds of everyone who thinks that homosexuality is a choice, and I only hope that it will. Thank you.
You are so very eloquent. Thank you for sharing your story. I had a similar series of thoughts growing up, and came up with the same conclusion. With a world that shows so much hatred towards gay people, why would one choose to be gay?
That just made me tear up. (': I can't say I understand what you went through, I'm not you. I can say that I somewhat relate.
Thank you SO much for making this video.
And I just. I was so unbelievably tired of being secret about it. And when I came out, I was so happy that my friends and family accepted me and I just I cried.
Great video, resonates strongly with my own experience. Thanks so much for sharing.
Thank you for sharing this. It was eye opening to me.
@8Splendiferous8 "it`s just that some people choose to repress their gay thoughts and others CHOOSE to accept them"? You just answered your own question and proved my point.
@anotherbottleofbeer The American Psychiatric Association noted in a 2000 fact sheet on gay, lesbian and bisexual issues that “no specific psychosocial or family dynamic cause for homosexuality has been identified, including histories of childhood sexual abuse.” The fact sheet goes on to say that sexual abuse does not appear to be any more prevalent among children who grow up and identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual than in children who grow up and identify as heterosexual.
It's the notion of gay being a choice that kills so many gay people.
You are so right dear Scott.
Take care, stay well.
I remember when I was really young I thought of growing and marrying some blond girl, And then I "chose" to become gay and hide my true self , become closed to others and literally hide from everyone , thinking what to do with myself tomorrow
@QLEANQLASSY- Behavior is a choice. A straight person can choose to be celibate in sexual behavior. That doesn't change the fact that they are straight, nor will it change their attractions to the opposite sex. Can you as a straight person choose to become sexually attracted to the same sex? If so, how does that happen? Explain how to become sexually attracted to the same sex if you are straight? How does that process of choice come about? How do you change your attractions?
thanks scott... well said... i fought it for 30 years before I came out... wasted a ton of my life trying to be str8 and alone. Served two mormon missions, went to church every week,, hung out with girls all the time (haha that part was easy) My family still believes it's a choice and we just don't talk about it.
I used to think it was a choice, but my brother, an aunt and a cousin are all gay and i know them well enough to say its not their choice. At one stage my brother considered it a curse. No one choses to be cursed.
I never felt insecure or helpless. I just knew that I was attracted to guys early on in life.
Indeed, MOST gay people go through denial and tell themselves over and over again the lie that they are NOT gay. And after years and years of that, they finally realize that they have no choice in the matter and they can't change, and they have a choice to decide between continuing to hate themselves and live a miserable life or finally accept themselves and come to terms with it.
Being gay is a choice! I was born bisexual with a preference for females but as time went by I realized I had little to nothing in common with men romantically and sexually stereotypically speaking (yes stereotypes hold a lot of validity sometimes) and as a result I decided to go completely lesbian. Since I made that decision I have experienced little to no attraction to my male counterparts within the last three years, thus I am a living example that sexual orientation is a choice you just need
This is very touching. I don't get why some people say being gay is a choice.
Can someone please explain to me what is gay. Ask yourself that question. Is it that you like the way men act or dress
im 18 and i still feel the way u did when you where 13
but thank you this really did make me feel much better about myself
stay yourself!!!!!!!! peace to all bi straight gay I don't care peace to everybody! just stay strong man stay strong I believe in strong people like you the world needs more people like you with the will to just be who you are don't let anyone tell you other wise.
AWESOME VIDEO! Thank you for this video! No matter what the haters say, no matter how the homophobic people may condemn you and me, please know that you are loved by the Creator of all things! - Blessings in all that you do - David L.
thank you for your video & your story, i have subscribed & i have shared your story with my family & friends & hopefully your story will change minds who dont know any better but i know for sure that your story will save lives
@JeremyLewisIngram Unless someone is bisexual, it is physically impossible for them to switch one sexual orientation for another, no more than you can decide one day to be gay. The difference between sexuality and something like "drugs" is the fact that sexuality IS NOT A HABIT. Most gay people realize they're attracted to the same sex when they're still kids BEFORE they've even had any sexual encounter.
Only a person in this situation can relate to this misery. I feel so happy now that I never killed myself. I mulled the thought of suicide so many times in my mind growing up. Now I am so liberated and relieved that I can live life happy as long as I stop lying to myself and accept that being gay is part of me! I could never be happier. Sure, I've been condemned by my family. But they do not understand my situation either. Eventually they might love me again--even though I never rejected them.
@Imaginefree69 After hearing of your illness....I'm done. Enough has been said. That saddens me a bit too much to continue in this. I hope the best for you...I really do.