You can see the extra video on how we navigate technology here: facebook.com/watch/?v=1061269937613145 ...and thank you for watching, we are always so grateful for your support!!! - Dawn
@@andshesmiles6272 You are so right about Dawn being a great life coach - I feel like that’s exactly what I get from her videos, courses, groups, etc! She is the best investment ever when it comes to not just $, but more importantly my time & what I allow to go into my brain!
Pressure and judgement from other parents is no joke. I love the unsolicited comments i get when i say our kids aren’t on 3 different travel teams for multiple sports, that we don’t spend all our weekends traveling to far away games and we “only” do school sports. They look at me like it’s child abuse. I have no problem with families who do that, but not sure how that equates to my kids losing out on “important life skills”. I think a more important life skill would be living in a family that is not so constantly frazzled, over-extended, and burnt out from all the chaos. Thank you, Dawn, for emphasizing the importance of a simplified life.
My husband did travel baseball and played year round (no breaks), was in band, and choir, got good grades, and it stressed him out so much as a kid. When he was younger it's just what his parents had them do. He said he lived on the brink of constant stress all the time and be would never want our kids to do that! So I understand this!
Being raised by a maximisist mom who enrolled me in everything she could and enrolled me in so many 4-H projects. I used to hate and dread summers I envied my peers who didn't have that much on their plate. I'm loving my now minimalist life.
You mentioned children being and avoiding you being in constant motion. That happened to me in high school. No one forced me to but I played a musical instrument and was in my high school's orchestra, citywide orchestra, quartets, solo competition and lessons. Additionally, I was taking five classes for college credit my junior and senior yr. Saturday morning tried to catch up on sleep! As a parent we homeschooled and focused on individual talents ( skilled sewing, building computers from scratch, sculpture, painting, writing, music,and more). My children wanted to compete in these areas. They successfully did so but I was always concerned to avoid the overwhelm that can come with that. There are sports , music, art, and academic areas that will be rewarding but if you aren't watchful it can consume your spirit, and life leaving no time for rest, creative thought, or enjoyment of God's word or of loved ones.
I feel like even more casual leagues are being crowded out by the intensity. Even on our rec leagues, that’s the “off season” season for the kids on the travel teams. The kids who aren’t playing year round can’t keep up anymore.
I have become such a happier, less yelling type of mom since embracing minimalism. I don't think I realized how much all the extra stuff, especially kid stuff was causing my stress level to go up. Thank you Dawn for this gift ❤️
Same. I also am reading Dawn's suggested 5 Love Languages for children and started implementing it this morning. I feel like it's already made a difference in just a few hours.
I Happened to hit rock bottom New Year’s Eve and started binging on my entire house and simultaneously came across her videos. It has only been one month and I am CHANGED. Completely different person. And the coolest part is I’m starting to see the effects of my children transforming.
Wow.. I feel like I’m going through this at the moment 😮💨 every little thing in the floor triggers me into the worse part of me. I come from an intense case of a hoarder parent .. so the added stress of picking constantly having to ask my kids to pick up and clean up throughput the day, is sooo tiring .
Striving for minimalism has benefited my kids so much! They're so much less stressed now that they're in a calmer looking and less cluttered house ♥ My non verbal 9 year old finally started to use his talking device this year, and I honestly believe its hugely in part to a highly simplified living space. Hearing his thoughts and feelings for the first time in 9 years, has been nothing short of a miracle! Also, I love your holey jeans Dawn!
What an interesting and insightful observation! In 20 years of working as a school speech and language specialist, I found it extremely difficult to get nonverbal kids to use assistive devices independent of me. It never occurred to me that “clutter” (of all kinds) could be the key.
I'm a retired preschool teacher. One of the things that broke my heart with children was they were introduced to inappropriate subjects at their young age. They definitely do react as if they had PTSD. Parents seem to do what is convenient for them (let the child watch adult content tv or movies rather than argue with them to go to bed), rather than what was best for their child. So sad!!!
We are parenting three children raised this way before being placed in foster care. It is so damaging to the child and yes, so heartbreaking to see. Trying to heal a child that has been exposed to adult things is very difficult.
I am a retired third grade teacher. A boy was very sleepy, and he said he had been to a movie the night before. I asked what movie? He told me. I said your mom took you to "that"? Later, I was expecting to be called to the principals office to discuss my response. I was very nervous. Nothing happened. This is an example of poor parenting.
These words are so true. Our twin 6 year old boys ask when the can stay up till 10:00 because some of their classmates said they did on their distance learning. I was like what? She stayed up till what time? No way! Maybe when you are in high school on a weekend. What are parents thinking 💭
My children are grown. When I was a single mom, I let them each choose ONE outside activity. The activities changed over time. They never felt limited and I could manage the schedule. One of the smartest decisions I ever made.
Sometimes a child might ssk to join an activity...maybe because their friend has joined. But maybe they need an outlet for their specific gifts. Saying no because you want to stick to the simplified lifestyle can cause behaviour issues for the child
This has got to be one of your most important videos yet! We raised our kids simply before it was a thing. (We were a one income family in a double income community.) They excelled in school and college, married wonderful people, have great jobs, and raised super kids of their own who are now all adults. Success!!
Yes to this. We were a one income family too. I had mom friends who cried because they had to work but they didn’t want give up all the stuff they were working to pay for. I know some families require both parents to work to make ends meet but these were people who had three vehicles and holiday trailers and house filled to the brim. I am so happy I listened to my intuition way back then and stayed home and had less then most of our friends did at that time.
Thanks for this note! It’s nice to hear from someone who has been through it. We are a young family and the pressure to sign our kids up for activities is very strong. It’s harder in a way because we are blessed with a good house hold income so it can be extra hard to say no. My daughter plays the drums, swims and does Girl Scouts and she was begging me to sign her up for soccer because all of her friends do it. I said soccer is such a cool sport but family time is also important so if you want to do that you have to switch it for another activity. She thought about it and said she would play soccer at recess with her friends as a compromise. I thought that was a cool solution that she came up with!
Amen! As a school teacher, children are pushed too hard to do too many activities and my only help to easy up the pressure is to NOT give homework. I used our time wisely through out the day within the classroom learning time for the 3-6 graders to be creative and free of constructs so they could feel relaxed. Many so called educators in my school disagreed but I stood firm and my students did well on testing and learning new skills. Thanks for sharing.
I had a boy and he loved playing outside more than anything. He's 24 now and is a happy young man that is very well rounded. Also, keep them in Church and with peers / activities of like mind.
I will post this on my Calm and Compassionate Facebook page. When I was a principal we allowed kids to bring no toys or devices to school except stuffies. The creative things they came up with at recess were delightful.
I love this message. I haven't been able to find the words to explain this to my adult kids. I've been seeing something that feels unhealthy for young kids nowadays. They have everything at their disposal and more stuff than anyone needs to have at their age and capacity. And everything is disposable, unimportant or unwanted, and even garbage in a very short period of time. Screens, all screens are changing the climate of our children's growth and thinking processes. My kids didn't have much when they were growing up. I was a single mom and didn't have much, so they didn't either. But we always lived where there was a yard and swings and places they could walk to safely. Nowadays condo 'style' living seems to be the norm. Outside is for a nice yard instead of for children to have fun in. Or they have to be toted to a park to have that kind of fun. I've seen how my grandkids can be crabby or upset over minor infractions. I really think it relates to very little outside play time or being in nature doing nothing in particular. I'm glad there's a book about it, I'll mention it to my (adult) kids. Side Note: I babysit my now 17 month old grandson once a week. I've been doing this for almost a year. My son works from home so I see him at his lunch break. Last week my son said to me "Mom, do you know what you do for me? You help me slow down. You help me feel less stressed about what it is I have to do in the day." I thought that was the best compliment ever. I'm glad I do that for him. I think people in their 30's and 40's are dealing with too much stress. Time is speeding up and the things they have to do to make a living is wearing on them. This same stress is being passed down to their kids so that everyone in the household is in high stress mode a good deal of the time. Even if they want to take a trip someplace to unwind and have fun, sometimes the pace they take on getting ready to do that is more stressful, so much so that when they're home from their fun trip, they need several days to unwind. The very thing they left town to do. It breaks my heart to see this. I wonder if this is the core of the unrest in this nation as well. I know that's a leap, but really screens, media, advertising, pushing pushing pushing to make sales no matter what the need or the cost. It's gotten to be too much. Slowing down and taking in the world around us, we all need it, and a lot more of it than we get in the present. Thanks for this message!
When I was a kid, I wanted a dollhouse. I don't think I ever asked for one though. I knew we couldn't afford such a thing. Instead, I used our double-decker coffee table as my doll house. I didn't have furniture or small dolls, so I used my Barbie and whatever random small toys or household items I could find. It didn't matter that nothing was proportional in size. If it fit, it could play in my coffee table dollhouse. One important thing I remember, is Mom never fussed about it. She never complained about me having my stuff all over the table. She never scolded me to not scratch her table. She just let me play. I used that coffee table as a dollhouse until I was 11 or 12 years old. As an adult, I see and appreciate my mom's patience in a different way. It can't be easy having a mess in the living room. (I did always clean up my stuff when I finished. I knew it would get thrown away or lost if I didn't.) I finally got a dollhouse for Christmas one year. My husband bought it for me when I was 40. I don't "play" with it, but I enjoyed decorating it. I made a few miniature items for it and I bought a few pieces of furniture so it would look cozy, but I didn't have any people...until one day...I set it up with some of my Boyds Bear figurines downstairs and a little blond girl figurine upstairs. A bit of whimsy, and so much better for my little dollhouse than "real" dollhouse dolls would have been. It's still all about the imagination. And play.
We would find empty boxes, grab Sears catalogs, construction paper, and leftover fabric and make rooms for our Barbies. Way more valuable than the girls down the street who had the RV, pool, and convertible.
@@brendamiller5785 My sister made a diarama in art class. It wasn't a shoebox, though. It was a lot smaller than a shoebox. A beautiful blue bedroom. She was going to throw it away!!! I thought it was cute, so she gave it to me. 😊
@@bethkroa1125 That sounds like so much fun! I used my brother's cars for vehicles. My Barbie. His Matchbox cars. I covered the walls of my dollhouse with fabric instead of buying dollhouse wallpaper.
I worked in a preschool and due to Covid we had to really be mindful of the things we put out for them to play with and how much (cleaning everything was a big chore!). I noticed there weren't any more "dump and run" opportunities and most children would stay in one spot for much longer, using their creativity with the toys instead of boredom after a few minutes and switching.
Thank you. I feel like you just gave me permisson to not enroll in activity after activity. I've been pushing my 6 year old to pick something and I wasnt listening when she said she didn't want too. I'm going to listen and let her be.
we really went against the flow and refused to be "busy busy busy" parents by driving our kids to endless sports and activities during the week+weekend. we bought a holiday unit at the beach, so we couldn't do weekend sport, that solved that problem! and our kids LOVED going to the beach every weekend.
Re-watching this because I always struggle with holidays and gift giving. Already bought too many Christmas gifts because of my own childhood insecurities. Going to make returns today while the kids are in school. Thank you for grounding me again.
I call electronics, especially the phone, a pacifier . We use it when we’re tired , lonely , angry , bored , etc .Thing is that it numbs your emotions and doesn’t face them .
Oh WOW😊 As a single Mom to two kids (more grown up now) I’m beyond GRATEFUL to hear this!! I set limits on their activities because I work Full-time & myself couldn’t manage more. I also insisted on family dinners around the table (not in the car or in front of the TV) & now am so glad I did. I’m so proud of my now 19 & 22 y.o. Kids who are responsible, compassionate, respectful & balanced in their approach to things. 💝
I always feel awful when I cannot spend the time my daughter needs. I have chronic illnesses and I do what I can but the guilt eats me up. I do love your videos. I have decluttered SO much and hope to do more.
Amen to all of this! I mean what grown up when stressed thinks " I wish I could go back to the days when I had to rush from practice to dance to then come home and do home work till midnight- those were the good ol days!' Nope. We go...."man I wish I got nap time as a grown up, I wish I could just sit outside and chill..."
I just finished Essentalism, and the interesting thing I took away was the importance of play for adults as well. I 100% agree kids need downtime, more play and slower schedules, but I think what a lot of adults miss is that adults need that too! We’re just so used to the opposite we miss it.
I love the memories of summer days of my kids playing outside with grass clippings and sticks making villages. I totally agree with you , Dawn. Kids need margin to just be. This is a great video. Thanks for sharing all these important thoughts!
This is one of your best videos, Dawn. Very well said. We raised 6 children ( all adults now) and I still believe strongly in letting children be children as long as possible. Giving them the down time to play along with teaching them to be responsible, of course. Thank you for mentioning that TMI can cause post traumatic stress. Wow!
YES!!!! I am a Pre-K teacher here in the Memphis area and I did my Doctorate in Early Childhood on Play in the Classroom. It is SO important to give kids open ended "loose parts" to do with what they please. We have a whole unit in our curriculum that deals with imagination and open ended play. It is SO sad how many kids can't imagine something other than what it is. Thank you for ALL your videos. I get inspiration every time I watch your videos.
Dawn, thank you! You have made me appreciate my childhood so much more. As I listen to this video, I realize that what was truly missing wasn't the things my parents couldn't afford, it was the attitude...the words, the perspective. My parents, like many parents then, raised us with a "doing without", "doing the best we can", "making do" mentality. They absolutely did do their best. But because it was sometimes a struggle, the words they chose gave more power to lack than they intended. Children follow the lead of their parents in how they view their circumstances. You are raising your children with a "living with less" and "living our best" mentality. Shift in mindset! I'm going to flip that perspective for myself when I think of my childhood. I find that, more and more, I am grateful that my parents COULDN'T give us everything. Now when I say, "We didn't have a lot growing up" it will come with a sense of fullness and gratitude, not lack.
We didn't have a computer in our home until I was 18 and doing college online. Before that, we had very limited screen time at our grandparents'. I can testify that I benefited from having more free time away from screens, and to this day feel a major difference if I make myself stay away from my phone (except for emergencies). So much more room for creativity and calm!
One little example we just experienced... I was going to sign up my daughter for a basketball summer camp and she said she just wanted to sleep in and rest. So we honored that. She’s an amazing little athlete and I want her to know I have her best interest in mind.... even though I sure wish she would’ve said yes 😂🤪
I love this! Great decision! When our boys were in summer baseball they made the All-Star league that played after the regular season. They told us they didn't want to play in it because they just wanted to be kids and not be on a schedule all the time. They were done playing for the Summer. We said okay and we don't regret it.
Good for you Dad and Mom! Mine rejected too much busyness too. Great to see parents on the same page and understanding you only get to be a child for a short time.
Dawn, thank you for doing a super job of giving a clear, concise foundation for better parenting! Pediatric anxiety and depression has never been higher than it is right now. So much of parenting has actually become about the parents and not the actual best mental, physical, and spiritual welfare of their children. Parenting is hard and can be confusing, but the basic framework you shared in this video is a foundation for healthier parenting. I am sharing this video😃.
I totally agree, Dawn. But not everyone has a farm, big safe property with big play structure, trampoline, summer pool, vegetable garden, big trees to climb, bikes and paved places to bike. So the kids are stuck inside a lot. Please give more advice and tips on toys and indoors.
I totally agree with this. This videos perspective on what childhood should be is so limited and doesn’t really take into account all the different ways people live around the world. Nor does it take into account special needs children who actually use tech to self regulate and has been proven to show that it’s useful for them. Special needs adults use tech to also self regulate, I wish it were not constantly used as a weapon to punish us parents who don’t have a choice. I have 2 children with Autism and creativity does not naturally come to them, nor does their brain operate like that, they are all about reality and realism so imagination is not part of how their brain works. I also find that they want to be by themselves as socialising is so painful and others are not really drawn to them so a lot of the time they are in their own world. Please have grace on families like mine when making these videos as they come across as self righteous and a little sanctimonious.
This is just what I needed today. I've been going through the house decluttering/simplifying room by room again and my kids notice. They gravitate towards the areas that have no clutter; they want to play or sit and read in those spaces. We have a happier home with less stuff and fewer distractions. Thank you for your amazing content 💗
I've read the book simplicity parenting 2x and I might just read it again. I recommend it to anyone who asks for parenting advice. It's so reassuring that less is more in how we parent, too. It gives justification for pulling back and just relaxing with our kids!
As someone who has the education and experience to say this, I only wish that more parents would do the type of research you have done and approach parenting with the same intentionality as you do, Dawn. We as a society need to do more to protect childhood and the natural learning that takes place via authentic play.
Wow! This info is so vital for today! My 5 children are grow and I am retired from teaching! I have always felt that raising kids with qualities and the skills that help them in the world was vital. It helps them by making by taking the stress of day to day chores out of their days! It helps them to feel proud and empowered with each new skill they learn. We didn't have a lot for games, but had tons of cardboard and paper, swing sets and things that promoted imagination and problem solving. Growing up in a small house taught them about getting along with others and how to share 1 bathroom with 7 people. It was honestly my life's work and they all have jobs and good healthy relationships as well as maintaining strong family ties even though they don't live close to each other. Thoughtful time put in to your children is so gratifying as you see them be the adults they choose to be! You go Dawn!!! Way to go!!
This is such a rich, thoughtful video. Thinking back to my childhood, my mom was a homemaker and before he retired, my dad was a manufacturers representative with a multistage regional territory that required him to travel during the week. No matter what their jobs and duties were, what stands out strongly for me is that my parents instilled such a great sense of adventure in my twin brothers and me. It was never about stuff nor planned activities. It was always about encouraging our imaginations and confidence. We grew up believing that the world was a fascinating, welcoming place and it turned us into travelers and public-facing adults who loved learning and engaging with people. I thank my parents often for fostering the attitude of "yes" and staying enchanted with everything life brought us. I see that taking place in your own family indelibly and it brings me joy to witness it!
I totally agree with the ideas in Simplicity Parenting. I just simplified my 2 year old’s toys tremendously yesterday. Today, we had one of the most enjoyable and peaceful days we have ever had. I’m also a mom who suffers from a rare chronic illness and am battling severe pain and fatigue and having less toys caused my son to play better and become a much happier kid. I’m also letting go of scheduling and planning activities. We’re living and it’s beautiful. I’m amazed.
Thank you so much for your videos. I've worked through different areas of my house and finally got around to my kids bedrooms. I followed your advice on decluttering, and my 8 yr old, whom we've had emotional issues with, told me that she can think clearer now that her room is clean. She is so much happier. I'm happier now that my house is getting decluttered, and together we have more time for games and fun!
My daughter struggles with mental health issues. We have noticed the more things we have cut out of our schedule have actually helped to improve her quality of life. We homeschool and are so blessed that were able to because she needs extra downtime extra sleep these things would be impossible to accommodate with the school system. We choose activities very carefully and try not to overload her. This does mean that we need to say no to quite a bit but I feel it is so worth it for her overall well-being. We stay home a lot in the evenings are not rushed and end up playing a different card games and board games and having more family time which creates memories that will last all their life. Sometimes a slower pace is the better answer
Yes, I agree. Child development and family relationships can be nurtured very simply and doesn't take many tangible items! I always appreciate it when you point out that the less children have, the more creative they are with their things.
I raised 5 kids in busy Southern California. We are all musical so each child was allowed to take lessons for one instrument. We encouraged physical activity and allowed them to participate in one sport. More than that would have been too much and we wanted to make sure they had some down time as well. I kept a wall calendar for the whole family. Each person, parents included, was assigned a color and all activities were written in their color. Each child was assigned a day and on their day they were invited on my errands, the got to answer the phone and door, pick up the mail and choose the show during the 1 hour of TV after school. It kept the bickering to a minimum since many decisions were already made and they learned to take turns.
I am 58 years old now. The years of childrearing long gone. My son is 30 years of age, a responsible man, happy with his new wife, soon to be father. Today I also have two bonus-daughters, a bonus son-in-law and a bonus grandson. Love this kid like my own. Back in the days I was a single mom from very early on, when most new parents preferred to connect to other couples with young children, not so much single parents. I worked mostly 3 12-hour nightshifts per week as a nurse. God saw to our needs and blessed us with a wonderful babysitter. My family lived in Europe. It was important to me to have my son in activities. He could choose 1 sport, plus cub scouts. However, there came a point where the requirements became too much for me what timing was concerned. So we cut it down to 1 sport. Often I felt guilty, since all other parents were taking their children from 1 activity to another with not much free time in between. Today I think that my son had an advantage . Not having every second in their life planned allows a child to use it's fantasy to build their own play world. Important in a child's developement.
My kids, ages 9, 7, and 5 have never been able to do many activities because of health concerns, but they are the most imaginative, kind, story-writing, paper/cardboard-box-anything creators out there. Their skills astound me everyday and I really think it's because they have time to play, think, and create that other kids who do lots of sports etc. don't have.
Thank you! We have simplified toys, clothing, etc. and we’ve seen a difference! The kids play longer, less fighting, better attitudes (mine included), etc. Side note: I’m a special needs mom and have enough mandatory decisions to make, so limiting the unnecessary decisions has been a lot less stressful!
As a kid I spent long summer days and after school at my great grandmother’s house. She didn’t have a single toy or “planned activity”! I loved it there.
Oh yes!! We have cut the tab waaaayyy back! Friday night (family movie) or Saturday morning. Or used sparingly when I need them out of my hair (I’ve had a few zoom calls). At first it was 2 weeks. Mommy has it been 2 weeks? Over and over. Now they know we just aren’t watching tv all day long in this stage of our lives. They are so much more creative, they play better with each other and have such a better attitude. I’ve let them watch in van as a reward and the attitude comes right back! I’m loving limiting and simplifying tv.
When I Say that we prefer " free time" for my daughter, some relatives answer that we don't stimulate her enough... I feel so deeply connected with what you share in this vidéo ! Thanks Dawn ♥️
Is funny how in this week I was like.... oh oh... "I need to do a Minimal Mom check on toys again"...and I started to think how simplifying has helped us and how having more inventory is now stressing us... this vid was a reminder that is a forever ongoing process that simply WORKS in so many aspects of our lives... Would love to see videos on parent's distractions...
Loved that book, Simplicity Parenting. I am a therapist and found what he said to be applicable to my clients as well. The challenge I face as a parent is my daughter is HIGHLY RESISTANT to my quarantining or removing toys- and she knows when I have removed or moved something. Sometimes she is willing to help clear out toys, but even then, it isn't much. I use that technique and also removing tiny amounts of unused toys at a time and gradually increasing the amount so she is realizing she really only plays with a few things regularly. It's also easier now that it's Summer and she's able to have more time and fun outside so she isn't as focused on her toys.
This might be my favorite video ever on the subjects of minimizing and reducing toys. What resonates with me the most is that we don’t need all these extra things for stem and sensory toys. Being outside is sensory! Thank you for that!
Love the part about attachment and helping our young ones regulate their emotions. Being present and engaged enough to put a simple hand on their back! Love the research content you bring to these movies.
This video was so validating! Our kids are 10, 8 &5 and they haven’t been in any organized sports aside from a kind of intro to basketball for my girls in school. My husband and I were in some sports when we were younger but we just haven’t felt the need to overwhelm our family with the rigorous athletic schedules. Our family thrives in downtime and a slower pace. We’re going to be homeschooling fully beginning in the fall and we couldn’t be more excited! Our kids are just as pumped as I am😄 I think setting some expectations for the kids with screens or what’s acceptable, going into summer especially, is so important. They don’t know what we want if we don’t verbalize it. I recently learned that. And I’ve also noticed when their moods escalate, I hug them and they melt into my arms. I’m not a physical touch on the love language scale, but I absolutely notice my kids are drawn to me like a magnet as soon as I rest my hand on their back or shoulder. It’s honestly precious. For my husband and I, we are doing a lot of the opposite of what we grew up with, and our families have noticed and complimented- which is pretty awesome ☺️
Just a caveat ...especially for foster, adopted children etc - touch can be a real trigger for abused children. It's kind of good to 'get their permission' first. But love the idea : )
@@brendamiller5785I totally agree! I even actually ask my kids if they’d like a hug when they’re getting upset- we try to establish boundaries and bodily autonomy with our kids🙂
Oh my goodness. I absolutely hated to be touched, hugged as a child. My mom didn't ask (or care) and would grab me and i would go as stiff as a board. I so hated it. PLEASE ask your child, especially any foster children.
@@sharonberg4817 I honestly think that’s why it isn’t what I gravitate toward. My mom still hugs almost violently haha but I noticed that my kids really reacted well to closeness, so I had to adjust my own self
This is wonderful, Dawn!! As a pediatric OT, I would say that the number one thing that parents can do to foster their kids’ sensory, brain, motor, social, and emotional development is outdoor free play or indoor free play with open-ended play objects. You stated this so well in this video! I think that you would love the book Balanced and Barefoot by Angela Hanscom. 😁 Blessings!
Yes! My grandparents had ZERO toys for me at their house, but I loved going there every weekend because for one, they were incredible people, and two, I was allowed to play with everything in their home (that was safe). My grandma's jewelry, my grandpa's organ, the vacuum, the 50 cent pieces, the candles. I could be imaginative and creative, and little brains and bodies need the freedom and space to do so. Now with my 20 month old son, I've noticed how much he appreciated having one or two toys out and around. He played with a wrapping paper tube a few days ago while we were in the basement which has many toys. The day before he played with an empty detergent bottle!
I'm an elderly adult and I struggle with crafts. I use to a lot but no longer interested but people keep saying I need to do crafts. I just enjoying sitting outside with a cup of coffee & enjoy the birds.
I hear you!! I too did a lot of crafts & sewing but now that I've moved into a larger house with room to expand I'm not feeling the same rewards that I used to! Maybe I need to change it up to more 'just sittin'!
I appreciate your teachings for sure. I would say that as an educator, there are many students who need intentional sensory play in order to integrate the senses. Students on the autism spectrum or those who have sensory integration disorder need planned, intentional sensory play. Just as not all adults are the same, so it goes with children. I appreciate that you stay open and mention this in so many of your videos. Thank you for all you do!
Hey Dawn. My kids are grown. I still watch you because you bring value into my life. What I’m realizing is how wasteful I really was when they were little. Thinking back I feel I bought stuff for them that I wanted. Of course I didn’t have much of anything growing up. Example : Six kids shared a bike. I talk to my kids when the timing is right about minimal living. If we all could just think about WHY we are buying whatever it is we are buying. We could all live more intentional. I’m doing my best with it. I still have trouble with some things. Love you and your beautiful Family.
So much wisdom in this episode! I have two kids who are now 24 and 22 and one of the things we decided as parents was to not go with the flow of over scheduling our kids like most early 2000’s parents were doing (yes we felt the peer pressure) but we let our kids have one things outside of school work that they wanted to do. Church choir and activities took up a lot of extra time so there were seasons that was our extra activity. Our kids had enough on their plates with the normal everyday to do lists! We eventually slowed down some more and home schooled during middle and high school and what a blessing that was! Just the extra time to share our stories with our kids was a bonus to homeschooling thy I hadn’t imagined. Stories we had assumed they knew but your kids don’t learn your life values and history from osmosis! You have to be intentional and talk! Time flies and you can always make more money but you can’t get back the days with the people you are raising. Make wise choices on what’s important 🙏❤️🙏
Your kids are so fortunate to have each other to play with. I was an only so I appreciate siblings getting along. I take a lot of pictures of my grandkids getting along. How good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity.
I totally agree...we homeschooled our kids without going to a co-op or summer camp...my husband and I simplified our lives too so our kids could see simple living modeled. We traveled together, vacationed together, took learning field trips together. Our kids saw that we made time for "us"...as adults we didn't get caught up in the business of adult life. I'm not sure how some bloggers do what they do as a business and still have time for "family time".
We have always tried to minimize the number of activities and things we had to do on weekends. Coming out of COVID we found ourselves just wanting to get our kiddo back out into the world and ended up in two sports that had multiple nights and days of practice. It lasted about three months and one day my son said "Mom, I'm just tired of always having to do something". We had a family meeting that night and decided that we would go back to our original house rule...one activity at a time and no practices on Saturdays. It's been a good reminder that our family functions best when we keep it simple!
Bravo, Dawn! As a mother of 6 and a grandmother of 15, I agree with everything you said. I am always cautioning my adult children about over-scheduling their children’s time. Kids need to get bored because that’s when they get creative. When my children came to me and said, “I don’t have anything to do,” I didn’t solve the issue for them. Within 5 minutes, they were off creatively playing, finding a friend or sibling to play with, reading a book, or taking a much needed nap.
I have just had conversations with family around the decluttering of my sons toys, I have some away in boxes and they are nearly ready to go straight out once their time is up. My son is 5 and has jumped right in with donating, I three older girls and nothing worked well with them but explaining why to him instead of trying to convince him has worked wonders! My mum was carefully concerned when j said I wanted to reduce 12 boxes down to 3 or 4 but j pointed put he literally plays with one set of tiny toys that fit in a lunch box!! Thats it allllll day long! Always love the new ideas and revisits of tried and tested methods.
I’m 52 and we didn’t have tons of toys and we played outside. And my mom rotated the toys we had so we didn’t have them all at once. I played a lot with blocks and fisher price people and dolls lol.
As a preschool teacher and owner all that you shared about playing and having less toys and things to distract them. I see how having too much can cause students anxiety. We use play as our method learning. Love your videos.
I grew up as a kid in a way like you're describing (PTSD symptoms). I have not read the book you mentioned but I have read some books on dysfunctional families and emotionally immature parents that have really helped me to do some healing and inner work. It took me a while to understand that I had CPTSD, it's something that I will probably never completely heal from. The fact that you care so much for the way you raise your kids is fantastic and I'm sure they will really benefit from it.
One of my main reasons to homeschool my kids is to simplify their schedules and allow them play time. We have quiet play time each day after lunch and they build and play independently (and together even though they're supposed to stay in their rooms). My oldest listens to audio books and builds Legos. This leaves us room for other activities we want to do without the extra rush in our schedule. Thank you for the resource. I love your confidence in sharing ideas like these. I think we would be fast friends if we ever met. :)
Those comments about peer pressure as parents is spot on! Our first child was a bit over scheduled until we came to our senses, and life is much simpler for the next 3 kids!
I can attest to so much of this! We are not fully where we want to be yet with the toys and clothes yet, but we are working on it. They still have more toys than I want them to have because what they really move playing with indoors are Lego, their open ended craft bin, and puzzles.
I’m always so motivated by watching your videos. I still haven’t taken the plunge to really declutter but I so badly need to! I really want to simplify the toys in the house. My kids don’t even play with them. They like playing with random stuff they find around the house!
Thank you for your video. I actually downsized on my kids clothes and mine because I realized that the more clothes we have, the more laundry I do! I also decided to remove the toys they no longer use and they are very happy with their legos. I also feel having them participate in sports teams will just create more stress on them, my spouse, and myself. I’ve also cut down on my spending and found no need to purchase items we really don’t need. This all happened through the pandemic which allowed us the time for family board games bringing our family closer. Thanks again!
Such good words here. As a 25 year foster parent, I can attest to the fact that it is difficult to backtrack and retrain. But the benefits are so worthwhile. The ability to entertain yourself, to imagine, create and think quietly are quickly becoming lost arts. I also believe that if children are given a little work to do each day, they are then able to go play cheerfully by themselves or with siblings for greater periods of time than when they only play all day. This teaches delayed gratification, personal responsibility and gives the child a healthy sense of self pride because they learn are strong and capable, as well as an integral part of the family. This may be one of my favorite videos! Thank you.
Excellent video. My kids are young adults. We tried to not over schedule our kids. They each had one weekly sports activity, and my youngest loved piano. We wanted to keep weekends free for camping and skiing as a family. I am so grateful for that time. The hardest thing for me was watching them become adults and stepping back so they could find their own ways. Their definition of success may not be what we imagined, but that’s ok. We all have things we wish we had done differently (like your mom says Dawn). But we are all human and do our best. My kids are good adults so must have done alright. Keep your awesome content coming Dawn, I love listening to your words of wisdom.
I raised my son a few years ago but made a conscious decision that our family would have one TV and no video games. I observed my son playing them at a friends and saw the addictive tendency immediately, the loss of attention to his needs for food and toileting, and the irritability that people don’t always respond immediately like they do with a joystick. I never regretted it and stunned my high school students who had more TVs than people in their homes.
Also raised on no TV in the home. Never regretted it, no resentment. When we kids became pre-teens, our family got a VCR (with a TV as just a monitor /player without channels) so we could intentionally pick movies we wanted as treats, a few a week. Otherwise we really would have been deprived, in my opinion. Some of the best movies I've ever watched were in that time. I really built my imagination, love of books, love of outdoor activities in childhood. Was also freed of hours upon hours of noisy time-wasting commercials, not to mention disturbing content. I would binge-watch some TV with friends in sleepovers, but they were more bored than i was, and i found TV was fine in small doses, not worth dedicating too much time. As an adult, i love movies, but they are still something special -- i am picky about what i watch. I also have a meta-analysis viewpoint of TV (and now, online social media & streaming content), seeing its power as a shaper of culture, values, and thinking. I think it's easier for me to know who i am, what i believe, and to see myself as an individual apart from the groups i may be in, due to quiet rather than TV noise being in the home as i grew up. Plus my parent's beliefs about TV wete explained to me & seemed sensible. Books made me smarter & deeper than mere TV would have. Books even give me a better appreciation for movie content, understanding so much thought has to be translated into visual-only cues. So glad i was forced to develop my own fun & creativity outside of TV growing up.
As a teacher and a mom, so many things you said resonated with me. Our kids need to play! They need to be less busy, and I believe that includes while they are at school. This is one of my favorite videos of yours so far, even though I have really loved the others. Thank you for this one.
Bike riding, playing outside, growing a garden, cooking&baking, etc...teach various sciences, problem-solving, patience, physical fitness, independence and cooperation (and so many other benefits) in a natural way that books or computers don't. And they can all contribute to a better mental health too as the kiddos grow up. Win win
This is an exceptional video, I have the advantage of hindsight. My adult children tell me that their happiest memories are family bike rides, all of us lined up on our king size bed and mom dad reading stories and doing all the voices, camping trips, nature walks, building stuff. They grew up with chores and responsibilities (age appropriate). We did not rush in to solve all their problems but taught them the mental tools they needed to work it out. They did not get everything they wanted and many of their toys were made by them or the family. They learned to solve problems, negotiate, communicate, be responsible. This helped them become successful, kind, honest, giving, confident adults. Dawn is giving her family the same gift. These are things that money can't buy. My granddaughter is in her last year of grad school while working full time and volunteering for a charity that she started helping when she was in junior high.
What a beautiful sentimental parenting video. I’d like to add. Grandparents and other family can apply this to their relationship with the children around them.
I watched the toys series and it has been such a blessing to me and the kids to have less toys. They play with their kid table and chairs and build huts, tractors, stores with them. It’s so true that they need their imagination and a few basic toys to thrive.
I have three young twenty somethings. We had stuff scheduled all the time, when they were younger, everyday, we often had to separate to handle events at opposite ends of town, my boys played on multiple baseball teams, my husband and I ran the league and coached. My daughter played softball, did show choir. Let me tell you if we could do it all again, we would cut it back. It was too much for them and us as a family. They wanted to do all these things but as parents, in hindsight, I feel we could have done a better job of putting boundaries in place. It is something to really think about. .
Oh my goodness! Did this speak to me. I agree 110% with everything you have said. I also have 4 children and live on a bit of land. I love bringing them home from school and letting them just be. But like you I feel so much pressure to be out doing an activity every single night. Sometimes I doubt myself and think maybe I should let them do these activities with their friends. I always regret it when I do due to the extra stress it puts on the household and how tired it makes them. I wish more people thought this way.
I just got done watching your extra video on Facebook and holy moly does this hit home. I’m going into the summer season where all 4 kids are home, I’m currently working from home and my husband works a 3rd shift job so sleeps during the day. I’ve been struggling to find a good system to put in place to alleviate stress for both me and them. I can’t wait to put this in place and watch their imaginations sore. Thank you so much for this video, your timing is impeccable.
Toys!!!! Simplifying my kids toys and regularly asking them is there anything they don't play with any more that they'd like to give to "the children"..... This hands down has been the best advice from you that has helped simplify my kids lives, thank you!! Xx
Amen Dawn ! I raised 3 girls in the public school system and are now in their 20s. They have been taught to have life balance and left home imparted with important life lessons that we wanted them to learn from us as parents. We did this by limiting them to one outside activity and by doing things as a family including prioritizing attending church on Sundays and eating Sunday dinner together. Doing too many things at once puts the influence of the world on our kids above the influence of parenting. Our girls can determine right from wrong, think for themselves and know when to seek guidance.
My sons are now 18 and 20 and your message today was affirming of my choices when they were younger. We basically only bought toys as gifts on their birthday or Christmas but we’re careful on how much we bought. Birthday parties were kids playing in the backyard with their imaginations with food and cake being served. Moms would come over for coffee and play dates and were concerned when I didn’t have a “planned activity” for the kids. Even before the minimalist movement was a thing I intuitively felt that less was more with my sons. Kids were in two extra curricular activities each at the most and not even all the time. I saw other families bursting at the seams with toys and kid stuff and just couldn’t go there. We were not minimalists (still striving to get there) but certainly more minimalish than most parents 20 years ago.
What a timely video! 😊 Just three weeks ago I packed up 95% of my kids’ toys and put them in the basement. Yesterday was the first time they asked for one of the toys to come upstairs. Clearly they aren’t missing the toys and my house is staying more tidy. I have also found that they are MUCH more creative now that we’ve decreased the number of toys. 😊
I grew up on a lake, and that was our playground. We played sports with our neighbor's kids, didn't cost us a dime. We all brought balls and bats, football basketballs and played till time to eat or dark outside. Best childhood ever. Get back to this, and your kids will be happier, healthier and you will have more money in your savings. Your kids don't need costly programs to make them great kids.
It's really true that you need to declutter toys, my child is feeling better with decluttering her toys. Less screen time makes her more confident in the open air. I am writing this on behalf of my daughter who is a fan of Dawn the minimal mom, we like to watch the videos together.👍👍😊😊
You can see the extra video on how we navigate technology here: facebook.com/watch/?v=1061269937613145 ...and thank you for watching, we are always so grateful for your support!!! - Dawn
I am so glad you are talking about kids! My Early Childhood Ed heart and minimalist heart is singing with joy today! 😘
Dawn, you would be a great at being a "life coach."
@@andshesmiles6272 that’s very kind of you, thank you!! 🥰
Well stated! Excellent video! You go, Dawn!
@@andshesmiles6272 You are so right about Dawn being a great life coach - I feel like that’s exactly what I get from her videos, courses, groups, etc! She is the best investment ever when it comes to not just $, but more importantly my time & what I allow to go into my brain!
Parents need to put down THEIR phone while with the kids.
Yes we do!!!
@@Katy_living_simply Yes!
so true!
Amen! I've taken to complimenting those young moms who are NOT on their phones while out with their babies.
Yes!!
Pressure and judgement from other parents is no joke. I love the unsolicited comments i get when i say our kids aren’t on 3 different travel teams for multiple sports, that we don’t spend all our weekends traveling to far away games and we “only” do school sports. They look at me like it’s child abuse. I have no problem with families who do that, but not sure how that equates to my kids losing out on “important life skills”. I think a more important life skill would be living in a family that is not so constantly frazzled, over-extended, and burnt out from all the chaos. Thank you, Dawn, for emphasizing the importance of a simplified life.
My husband did travel baseball and played year round (no breaks), was in band, and choir, got good grades, and it stressed him out so much as a kid. When he was younger it's just what his parents had them do. He said he lived on the brink of constant stress all the time and be would never want our kids to do that! So I understand this!
Being raised by a maximisist mom who enrolled me in everything she could and enrolled me in so many 4-H projects. I used to hate and dread summers I envied my peers who didn't have that much on their plate. I'm loving my now minimalist life.
You mentioned children being and avoiding you being in constant motion. That happened to me in high school. No one forced me to but I played a musical instrument and was in my high school's orchestra, citywide orchestra, quartets, solo competition and lessons. Additionally, I was taking five classes for college credit my junior and senior yr. Saturday morning tried to catch up on sleep! As a parent we homeschooled and focused on individual talents ( skilled sewing, building computers from scratch, sculpture, painting, writing, music,and more). My children wanted to compete in these areas. They successfully did so but I was always concerned to avoid the overwhelm that can come with that. There are sports , music, art, and academic areas that will be rewarding but if you aren't
watchful it can consume your spirit, and life leaving no time for rest, creative thought, or enjoyment of God's word or of loved ones.
Currently reading "Free-range kids" by Lenore Skenazy, highly recommend! She talks about extracurricular activities
I feel like even more casual leagues are being crowded out by the intensity. Even on our rec leagues, that’s the “off season” season for the kids on the travel teams. The kids who aren’t playing year round can’t keep up anymore.
I have become such a happier, less yelling type of mom since embracing minimalism. I don't think I realized how much all the extra stuff, especially kid stuff was causing my stress level to go up. Thank you Dawn for this gift ❤️
Same. I also am reading Dawn's suggested 5 Love Languages for children and started implementing it this morning. I feel like it's already made a difference in just a few hours.
I Happened to hit rock bottom New Year’s Eve and started binging on my entire house and simultaneously came across her videos. It has only been one month and I am CHANGED. Completely different person. And the coolest part is I’m starting to see the effects of my children transforming.
Wow.. I feel like I’m going through this at the moment 😮💨 every little thing in the floor triggers me into the worse part of me. I come from an intense case of a hoarder parent .. so the added stress of picking constantly having to ask my kids to pick up and clean up throughput the day, is sooo tiring .
I once heard that creativity lies just outside of boredom .
Striving for minimalism has benefited my kids so much! They're so much less stressed now that they're in a calmer looking and less cluttered house ♥ My non verbal 9 year old finally started to use his talking device this year, and I honestly believe its hugely in part to a highly simplified living space. Hearing his thoughts and feelings for the first time in 9 years, has been nothing short of a miracle!
Also, I love your holey jeans Dawn!
Thank u for ur videos , very good information.
What kind of talking device does he use? My 4 year old is non verbal Autistic and I'm looking for something to help her.
What an interesting and insightful observation! In 20 years of working as a school speech and language specialist, I found it extremely difficult to get nonverbal kids to use assistive devices independent of me. It never occurred to me that “clutter” (of all kinds) could be the key.
Andie - so excited for your miracle!!! Celebrate every victory! Whooo hoooo!!! I am in tears I'm so thrilled for your progress!
Wow Andie! This is incredible!!!!
I'm a retired preschool teacher. One of the things that broke my heart with children was they were introduced to inappropriate subjects at their young age. They definitely do react as if they had PTSD. Parents seem to do what is convenient for them (let the child watch adult content tv or movies rather than argue with them to go to bed), rather than what was best for their child. So sad!!!
We are parenting three children raised this way before being placed in foster care. It is so damaging to the child and yes, so heartbreaking to see. Trying to heal a child that has been exposed to adult things is very difficult.
I am a retired third grade teacher. A boy was very sleepy, and he said he had been to a movie the night before. I asked what movie? He told me. I said your mom took you to "that"? Later, I was expecting to be called to the principals office to discuss my response. I was very nervous. Nothing happened. This is an example of poor parenting.
Ponhe legenda não sei inglês
These words are so true. Our twin 6 year old boys ask when the can stay up till 10:00 because some of their classmates said they did on their distance learning. I was like what? She stayed up till what time? No way! Maybe when you are in high school on a weekend. What are parents thinking 💭
My children are grown. When I was a single mom, I let them each choose ONE outside activity. The activities changed over time. They never felt limited and I could manage the schedule. One of the smartest decisions I ever made.
Sometimes a child might ssk to join an activity...maybe because their friend has joined. But maybe they need an outlet for their specific gifts. Saying no because you want to stick to the simplified lifestyle can cause behaviour issues for the child
@@brendamiller5785 did you not read the part about her kids being grown? I’m assuming they’re just fine.
@@jjgems5909 oops I skipped over the first four words!
Great idea!
This has got to be one of your most important videos yet! We raised our kids simply before it was a thing. (We were a one income family in a double income community.) They excelled in school and college, married wonderful people, have great jobs, and raised super kids of their own who are now all adults. Success!!
Yes to this. We were a one income family too. I had mom friends who cried because they had to work but they didn’t want give up all the stuff they were working to pay for. I know some families require both parents to work to make ends meet but these were people who had three vehicles and holiday trailers and house filled to the brim. I am so happy I listened to my intuition way back then and stayed home and had less then most of our friends did at that time.
Thanks for this note! It’s nice to hear from someone who has been through it. We are a young family and the pressure to sign our kids up for activities is very strong. It’s harder in a way because we are blessed with a good house hold income so it can be extra hard to say no. My daughter plays the drums, swims and does Girl Scouts and she was begging me to sign her up for soccer because all of her friends do it. I said soccer is such a cool sport but family time is also important so if you want to do that you have to switch it for another activity. She thought about it and said she would play soccer at recess with her friends as a compromise. I thought that was a cool solution that she came up with!
Amen! As a school teacher, children are pushed too hard to do too many activities and my only help to easy up the pressure is to NOT give homework. I used our time wisely through out the day within the classroom learning time for the 3-6 graders to be creative and free of constructs so they could feel relaxed. Many so called educators in my school disagreed but I stood firm and my students did well on testing and learning new skills. Thanks for sharing.
I had a boy and he loved playing outside more than anything. He's 24 now and is a happy young man that is very well rounded. Also, keep them in Church and with peers / activities of like mind.
Amen
Absolutely!!!!
This sounds like my nieces. And yes they are very adjusted and well rounded.
I will post this on my Calm and Compassionate Facebook page. When I was a principal we allowed kids to bring no toys or devices to school except stuffies. The creative things they came up with at recess were delightful.
I love this message. I haven't been able to find the words to explain this to my adult kids. I've been seeing something that feels unhealthy for young kids nowadays. They have everything at their disposal and more stuff than anyone needs to have at their age and capacity. And everything is disposable, unimportant or unwanted, and even garbage in a very short period of time. Screens, all screens are changing the climate of our children's growth and thinking processes. My kids didn't have much when they were growing up. I was a single mom and didn't have much, so they didn't either. But we always lived where there was a yard and swings and places they could walk to safely. Nowadays condo 'style' living seems to be the norm. Outside is for a nice yard instead of for children to have fun in. Or they have to be toted to a park to have that kind of fun. I've seen how my grandkids can be crabby or upset over minor infractions. I really think it relates to very little outside play time or being in nature doing nothing in particular. I'm glad there's a book about it, I'll mention it to my (adult) kids. Side Note: I babysit my now 17 month old grandson once a week. I've been doing this for almost a year. My son works from home so I see him at his lunch break. Last week my son said to me "Mom, do you know what you do for me? You help me slow down. You help me feel less stressed about what it is I have to do in the day." I thought that was the best compliment ever. I'm glad I do that for him. I think people in their 30's and 40's are dealing with too much stress. Time is speeding up and the things they have to do to make a living is wearing on them. This same stress is being passed down to their kids so that everyone in the household is in high stress mode a good deal of the time. Even if they want to take a trip someplace to unwind and have fun, sometimes the pace they take on getting ready to do that is more stressful, so much so that when they're home from their fun trip, they need several days to unwind. The very thing they left town to do. It breaks my heart to see this. I wonder if this is the core of the unrest in this nation as well. I know that's a leap, but really screens, media, advertising, pushing pushing pushing to make sales no matter what the need or the cost. It's gotten to be too much. Slowing down and taking in the world around us, we all need it, and a lot more of it than we get in the present. Thanks for this message!
When I was a kid, I wanted a dollhouse. I don't think I ever asked for one though. I knew we couldn't afford such a thing. Instead, I used our double-decker coffee table as my doll house. I didn't have furniture or small dolls, so I used my Barbie and whatever random small toys or household items I could find. It didn't matter that nothing was proportional in size. If it fit, it could play in my coffee table dollhouse.
One important thing I remember, is Mom never fussed about it. She never complained about me having my stuff all over the table. She never scolded me to not scratch her table. She just let me play. I used that coffee table as a dollhouse until I was 11 or 12 years old. As an adult, I see and appreciate my mom's patience in a different way. It can't be easy having a mess in the living room. (I did always clean up my stuff when I finished. I knew it would get thrown away or lost if I didn't.)
I finally got a dollhouse for Christmas one year. My husband bought it for me when I was 40. I don't "play" with it, but I enjoyed decorating it. I made a few miniature items for it and I bought a few pieces of furniture so it would look cozy, but I didn't have any people...until one day...I set it up with some of my Boyds Bear figurines downstairs and a little blond girl figurine upstairs. A bit of whimsy, and so much better for my little dollhouse than "real" dollhouse dolls would have been. It's still all about the imagination. And play.
Love this story so much!!
We would find empty boxes, grab Sears catalogs, construction paper, and leftover fabric and make rooms for our Barbies. Way more valuable than the girls down the street who had the RV, pool, and convertible.
Does anyone remember/know what a shoe box diarama is? I made one in Sunday School and played with it for years! Lol
@@brendamiller5785 My sister made a diarama in art class. It wasn't a shoebox, though. It was a lot smaller than a shoebox. A beautiful blue bedroom. She was going to throw it away!!! I thought it was cute, so she gave it to me. 😊
@@bethkroa1125 That sounds like so much fun! I used my brother's cars for vehicles. My Barbie. His Matchbox cars.
I covered the walls of my dollhouse with fabric instead of buying dollhouse wallpaper.
I worked in a preschool and due to Covid we had to really be mindful of the things we put out for them to play with and how much (cleaning everything was a big chore!). I noticed there weren't any more "dump and run" opportunities and most children would stay in one spot for much longer, using their creativity with the toys instead of boredom after a few minutes and switching.
Thank you. I feel like you just gave me permisson to not enroll in activity after activity. I've been pushing my 6 year old to pick something and I wasnt listening when she said she didn't want too. I'm going to listen and let her be.
we really went against the flow and refused to be "busy busy busy" parents by driving our kids to endless sports and activities during the week+weekend. we bought a holiday unit at the beach, so we couldn't do weekend sport, that solved that problem! and our kids LOVED going to the beach every weekend.
As a teacher, I'm so, so glad you are placing a high value on playtime. It's not a waste of time like many believe!!!
Re-watching this because I always struggle with holidays and gift giving. Already bought too many Christmas gifts because of my own childhood insecurities. Going to make returns today while the kids are in school. Thank you for grounding me again.
I call electronics, especially the phone, a pacifier . We use it when we’re tired , lonely , angry , bored , etc .Thing is that it numbs your emotions and doesn’t face them .
Oh WOW😊 As a single Mom to two kids (more grown up now) I’m beyond GRATEFUL to hear this!! I set limits on their activities because I work Full-time & myself couldn’t manage more. I also insisted on family dinners around the table (not in the car or in front of the TV) & now am so glad I did. I’m so proud of my now 19 & 22 y.o. Kids who are responsible, compassionate, respectful & balanced in their approach to things. 💝
I always feel awful when I cannot spend the time my daughter needs. I have chronic illnesses and I do what I can but the guilt eats me up. I do love your videos. I have decluttered SO much and hope to do more.
Amen to all of this! I mean what grown up when stressed thinks " I wish I could go back to the days when I had to rush from practice to dance to then come home and do home work till midnight- those were the good ol days!' Nope. We go...."man I wish I got nap time as a grown up, I wish I could just sit outside and chill..."
I just finished Essentalism, and the interesting thing I took away was the importance of play for adults as well. I 100% agree kids need downtime, more play and slower schedules, but I think what a lot of adults miss is that adults need that too! We’re just so used to the opposite we miss it.
I love the memories of summer days of my kids playing outside with grass clippings and sticks making villages. I totally agree with you , Dawn. Kids need margin to just be. This is a great video. Thanks for sharing all these important thoughts!
This is one of your best videos, Dawn. Very well said. We raised 6 children ( all adults now) and I still believe strongly in letting children be children as long as possible. Giving them the down time to play along with teaching them to be responsible, of course. Thank you for mentioning that TMI can cause post traumatic stress. Wow!
YES!!!! I am a Pre-K teacher here in the Memphis area and I did my Doctorate in Early Childhood on Play in the Classroom. It is SO important to give kids open ended "loose parts" to do with what they please. We have a whole unit in our curriculum that deals with imagination and open ended play. It is SO sad how many kids can't imagine something other than what it is.
Thank you for ALL your videos. I get inspiration every time I watch your videos.
I live in Memphis, too!
Hi! Memphis area too! 👋🏻
@@jenniferbrooks--planj5459 I actually live in Hernando, MS, but work for Shelby County Schools.
@@dianasimplifies I actually live in Hernando, MS, but work for Shelby County Schools.
@@leighannestarks9178 good for you! Hard job! Which school if you don't mind me asking? We live in Fayette Co but hubby works in Collierville.
We home school for many of these reasons.
One hour a day and all the work is done!
Dawn, thank you! You have made me appreciate my childhood so much more. As I listen to this video, I realize that what was truly missing wasn't the things my parents couldn't afford, it was the attitude...the words, the perspective. My parents, like many parents then, raised us with a "doing without", "doing the best we can", "making do" mentality. They absolutely did do their best. But because it was sometimes a struggle, the words they chose gave more power to lack than they intended. Children follow the lead of their parents in how they view their circumstances. You are raising your children with a "living with less" and "living our best" mentality. Shift in mindset! I'm going to flip that perspective for myself when I think of my childhood. I find that, more and more, I am grateful that my parents COULDN'T give us everything. Now when I say, "We didn't have a lot growing up" it will come with a sense of fullness and gratitude, not lack.
We didn't have a computer in our home until I was 18 and doing college online. Before that, we had very limited screen time at our grandparents'. I can testify that I benefited from having more free time away from screens, and to this day feel a major difference if I make myself stay away from my phone (except for emergencies). So much more room for creativity and calm!
One little example we just experienced... I was going to sign up my daughter for a basketball summer camp and she said she just wanted to sleep in and rest. So we honored that. She’s an amazing little athlete and I want her to know I have her best interest in mind.... even though I sure wish she would’ve said yes 😂🤪
I love this! Great decision! When our boys were in summer baseball they made the All-Star league that played after the regular season. They told us they didn't want to play in it because they just wanted to be kids and not be on a schedule all the time. They were done playing for the Summer. We said okay and we don't regret it.
Good for you Dad and Mom! Mine rejected too much busyness too. Great to see parents on the same page and understanding you only get to be a child for a short time.
Dawn, thank you for doing a super job of giving a clear, concise foundation for better parenting!
Pediatric anxiety and depression has never been higher than it is right now. So much of parenting has actually become about the parents and not the actual best mental, physical, and spiritual welfare of their children. Parenting is hard and can be confusing, but the basic framework you shared in this video is a foundation for healthier parenting. I am sharing this video😃.
Thank you so much Paulita, this really means alot!
I totally agree, Dawn. But not everyone has a farm, big safe property with big play structure, trampoline, summer pool, vegetable garden, big trees to climb, bikes and paved places to bike. So the kids are stuck inside a lot. Please give more advice and tips on toys and indoors.
I totally agree with this. This videos perspective on what childhood should be is so limited and doesn’t really take into account all the different ways people live around the world. Nor does it take into account special needs children who actually use tech to self regulate and has been proven to show that it’s useful for them. Special needs adults use tech to also self regulate, I wish it were not constantly used as a weapon to punish us parents who don’t have a choice. I have 2 children with Autism and creativity does not naturally come to them, nor does their brain operate like that, they are all about reality and realism so imagination is not part of how their brain works. I also find that they want to be by themselves as socialising is so painful and others are not really drawn to them so a lot of the time they are in their own world. Please have grace on families like mine when making these videos as they come across as self righteous and a little sanctimonious.
This is just what I needed today. I've been going through the house decluttering/simplifying room by room again and my kids notice. They gravitate towards the areas that have no clutter; they want to play or sit and read in those spaces. We have a happier home with less stuff and fewer distractions. Thank you for your amazing content 💗
Well Done on getting this far. Congratulations on your new found freedom.
I've read the book simplicity parenting 2x and I might just read it again. I recommend it to anyone who asks for parenting advice. It's so reassuring that less is more in how we parent, too. It gives justification for pulling back and just relaxing with our kids!
As someone who has the education and experience to say this, I only wish that more parents would do the type of research you have done and approach parenting with the same intentionality as you do, Dawn. We as a society need to do more to protect childhood and the natural learning that takes place via authentic play.
Wow! This info is so vital for today! My 5 children are grow and I am retired from teaching! I have always felt that raising kids with qualities and the skills that help them in the world was vital. It helps them by making by taking the stress of day to day chores out of their days! It helps them to feel proud and empowered with each new skill they learn. We didn't have a lot for games, but had tons of cardboard and paper, swing sets and things that promoted imagination and problem solving. Growing up in a small house taught them about getting along with others and how to share 1 bathroom with 7 people. It was honestly my life's work and they all have jobs and good healthy relationships as well as maintaining strong family ties even though they don't live close to each other. Thoughtful time put in to your children is so gratifying as you see them be the adults they choose to be! You go Dawn!!! Way to go!!
This is such a rich, thoughtful video. Thinking back to my childhood, my mom was a homemaker and before he retired, my dad was a manufacturers representative with a multistage regional territory that required him to travel during the week. No matter what their jobs and duties were, what stands out strongly for me is that my parents instilled such a great sense of adventure in my twin brothers and me. It was never about stuff nor planned activities. It was always about encouraging our imaginations and confidence. We grew up believing that the world was a fascinating, welcoming place and it turned us into travelers and public-facing adults who loved learning and engaging with people. I thank my parents often for fostering the attitude of "yes" and staying enchanted with everything life brought us. I see that taking place in your own family indelibly and it brings me joy to witness it!
I totally agree with the ideas in Simplicity Parenting. I just simplified my 2 year old’s toys tremendously yesterday. Today, we had one of the most enjoyable and peaceful days we have ever had. I’m also a mom who suffers from a rare chronic illness and am battling severe pain and fatigue and having less toys caused my son to play better and become a much happier kid. I’m also letting go of scheduling and planning activities. We’re living and it’s beautiful. I’m amazed.
Thank you so much for your videos. I've worked through different areas of my house and finally got around to my kids bedrooms. I followed your advice on decluttering, and my 8 yr old, whom we've had emotional issues with, told me that she can think clearer now that her room is clean. She is so much happier. I'm happier now that my house is getting decluttered, and together we have more time for games and fun!
My daughter struggles with mental health issues. We have noticed the more things we have cut out of our schedule have actually helped to improve her quality of life. We homeschool and are so blessed that were able to because she needs extra downtime extra sleep these things would be impossible to accommodate with the school system. We choose activities very carefully and try not to overload her. This does mean that we need to say no to quite a bit but I feel it is so worth it for her overall well-being. We stay home a lot in the evenings are not rushed and end up playing a different card games and board games and having more family time which creates memories that will last all their life. Sometimes a slower pace is the better answer
Yes, I agree. Child development and family relationships can be nurtured very simply and doesn't take many tangible items! I always appreciate it when you point out that the less children have, the more creative they are with their things.
I think I will revisit re-parenting myself 🤔. I was introduced to adult responsibilities too early and totally missed my own childhood.
I love the book “Simplicity Parenting”!
I raised 5 kids in busy Southern California. We are all musical so each child was allowed to take lessons for one instrument. We encouraged physical activity and allowed them to participate in one sport. More than that would have been too much and we wanted to make sure they had some down time as well. I kept a wall calendar for the whole family. Each person, parents included, was assigned a color and all activities were written in their color. Each child was assigned a day and on their day they were invited on my errands, the got to answer the phone and door, pick up the mail and choose the show during the 1 hour of TV after school. It kept the bickering to a minimum since many decisions were already made and they learned to take turns.
I am 58 years old now. The years of childrearing long gone. My son is 30 years of age, a responsible man, happy with his new wife, soon to be father. Today I also have two bonus-daughters, a bonus son-in-law and a bonus grandson. Love this kid like my own. Back in the days I was a single mom from very early on, when most new parents preferred to connect to other couples with young children, not so much single parents. I worked mostly 3 12-hour nightshifts per week as a nurse. God saw to our needs and blessed us with a wonderful babysitter. My family lived in Europe. It was important to me to have my son in activities. He could choose 1 sport, plus cub scouts. However, there came a point where the requirements became too much for me what timing was concerned. So we cut it down to 1 sport. Often I felt guilty, since all other parents were taking their children from 1 activity to another with not much free time in between. Today I think that my son had an advantage . Not having every second in their life planned allows a child to use it's fantasy to build their own play world. Important in a child's developement.
My kids, ages 9, 7, and 5 have never been able to do many activities because of health concerns, but they are the most imaginative, kind, story-writing, paper/cardboard-box-anything creators out there. Their skills astound me everyday and I really think it's because they have time to play, think, and create that other kids who do lots of sports etc. don't have.
Thank you! We have simplified toys, clothing, etc. and we’ve seen a difference! The kids play longer, less fighting, better attitudes (mine included), etc. Side note: I’m a special needs mom and have enough mandatory decisions to make, so limiting the unnecessary decisions has been a lot less stressful!
As a kid I spent long summer days and after school at my great grandmother’s house. She didn’t have a single toy or “planned activity”! I loved it there.
Oh yes!! We have cut the tab waaaayyy back! Friday night (family movie) or Saturday morning. Or used sparingly when I need them out of my hair (I’ve had a few zoom calls). At first it was 2 weeks. Mommy has it been 2 weeks? Over and over. Now they know we just aren’t watching tv all day long in this stage of our lives. They are so much more creative, they play better with each other and have such a better attitude. I’ve let them watch in van as a reward and the attitude comes right back! I’m loving limiting and simplifying tv.
When I Say that we prefer " free time" for my daughter, some relatives answer that we don't stimulate her enough...
I feel so deeply connected with what you share in this vidéo !
Thanks Dawn ♥️
Is funny how in this week I was like.... oh oh... "I need to do a Minimal Mom check on toys again"...and I started to think how simplifying has helped us and how having more inventory is now stressing us... this vid was a reminder that is a forever ongoing process that simply WORKS in so many aspects of our lives... Would love to see videos on parent's distractions...
Loved that book, Simplicity Parenting. I am a therapist and found what he said to be applicable to my clients as well. The challenge I face as a parent is my daughter is HIGHLY RESISTANT to my quarantining or removing toys- and she knows when I have removed or moved something. Sometimes she is willing to help clear out toys, but even then, it isn't much. I use that technique and also removing tiny amounts of unused toys at a time and gradually increasing the amount so she is realizing she really only plays with a few things regularly. It's also easier now that it's Summer and she's able to have more time and fun outside so she isn't as focused on her toys.
This might be my favorite video ever on the subjects of minimizing and reducing toys. What resonates with me the most is that we don’t need all these extra things for stem and sensory toys. Being outside is sensory! Thank you for that!
Love the part about attachment and helping our young ones regulate their emotions. Being present and engaged enough to put a simple hand on their back! Love the research content you bring to these movies.
This video was so validating! Our kids are 10, 8 &5 and they haven’t been in any organized sports aside from a kind of intro to basketball for my girls in school. My husband and I were in some sports when we were younger but we just haven’t felt the need to overwhelm our family with the rigorous athletic schedules. Our family thrives in downtime and a slower pace. We’re going to be homeschooling fully beginning in the fall and we couldn’t be more excited! Our kids are just as pumped as I am😄 I think setting some expectations for the kids with screens or what’s acceptable, going into summer especially, is so important. They don’t know what we want if we don’t verbalize it. I recently learned that. And I’ve also noticed when their moods escalate, I hug them and they melt into my arms. I’m not a physical touch on the love language scale, but I absolutely notice my kids are drawn to me like a magnet as soon as I rest my hand on their back or shoulder. It’s honestly precious. For my husband and I, we are doing a lot of the opposite of what we grew up with, and our families have noticed and complimented- which is pretty awesome ☺️
Thank you for sharing this.
It's amazing how physical touch is like instant therapy for kids.
Just a caveat ...especially for foster, adopted children etc - touch can be a real trigger for abused children. It's kind of good to 'get their permission' first.
But love the idea : )
@@brendamiller5785I totally agree! I even actually ask my kids if they’d like a hug when they’re getting upset- we try to establish boundaries and bodily autonomy with our kids🙂
Oh my goodness. I absolutely hated to be touched, hugged as a child. My mom didn't ask (or care) and would grab me and i would go as stiff as a board. I so hated it. PLEASE ask your child, especially any foster children.
@@sharonberg4817 I honestly think that’s why it isn’t what I gravitate toward. My mom still hugs almost violently haha but I noticed that my kids really reacted well to closeness, so I had to adjust my own self
This is wonderful, Dawn!! As a pediatric OT, I would say that the number one thing that parents can do to foster their kids’ sensory, brain, motor, social, and emotional development is outdoor free play or indoor free play with open-ended play objects. You stated this so well in this video! I think that you would love the book Balanced and Barefoot by Angela Hanscom. 😁 Blessings!
Yes! My grandparents had ZERO toys for me at their house, but I loved going there every weekend because for one, they were incredible people, and two, I was allowed to play with everything in their home (that was safe). My grandma's jewelry, my grandpa's organ, the vacuum, the 50 cent pieces, the candles. I could be imaginative and creative, and little brains and bodies need the freedom and space to do so.
Now with my 20 month old son, I've noticed how much he appreciated having one or two toys out and around. He played with a wrapping paper tube a few days ago while we were in the basement which has many toys. The day before he played with an empty detergent bottle!
I'm an elderly adult and I struggle with crafts. I use to a lot but no longer interested but people keep saying I need to do crafts. I just enjoying sitting outside with a cup of coffee & enjoy the birds.
I hear you!! I too did a lot of crafts & sewing but now that I've moved into a larger house with room to expand I'm not feeling the same rewards that I used to! Maybe I need to change it up to more 'just sittin'!
I appreciate your teachings for sure. I would say that as an educator, there are many students who need intentional sensory play in order to integrate the senses. Students on the autism spectrum or those who have sensory integration disorder need planned, intentional sensory play. Just as not all adults are the same, so it goes with children. I appreciate that you stay open and mention this in so many of your videos. Thank you for all you do!
Hey Dawn. My kids are grown. I still watch you because you bring value into my life.
What I’m realizing is how wasteful I really was when they were little. Thinking back I feel I bought stuff for them that I wanted. Of course I didn’t have much of anything growing up. Example :
Six kids shared a bike.
I talk to my kids when the timing is right about minimal living. If we all could just think about WHY we are buying whatever it is we are buying. We could all live more intentional.
I’m doing my best with it. I still have trouble with some things.
Love you and your beautiful Family.
So much wisdom in this episode! I have two kids who are now 24 and 22 and one of the things we decided as parents was to not go with the flow of over scheduling our kids like most early 2000’s parents were doing (yes we felt the peer pressure) but we let our kids have one things outside of school work that they wanted to do. Church choir and activities took up a lot of extra time so there were seasons that was our extra activity. Our kids had enough on their plates with the normal everyday to do lists! We eventually slowed down some more and home schooled during middle and high school and what a blessing that was! Just the extra time to share our stories with our kids was a bonus to homeschooling thy I hadn’t imagined. Stories we had assumed they knew but your kids don’t learn your life values and history from osmosis! You have to be intentional and talk! Time flies and you can always make more money but you can’t get back the days with the people you are raising. Make wise choices on what’s important 🙏❤️🙏
Your kids are so fortunate to have each other to play with. I was an only so I appreciate siblings getting along. I take a lot of pictures of my grandkids getting along. How good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity.
I totally agree...we homeschooled our kids without going to a co-op or summer camp...my husband and I simplified our lives too so our kids could see simple living modeled. We traveled together, vacationed together, took learning field trips together. Our kids saw that we made time for "us"...as adults we didn't get caught up in the business of adult life. I'm not sure how some bloggers do what they do as a business and still have time for "family time".
We have always tried to minimize the number of activities and things we had to do on weekends. Coming out of COVID we found ourselves just wanting to get our kiddo back out into the world and ended up in two sports that had multiple nights and days of practice. It lasted about three months and one day my son said "Mom, I'm just tired of always having to do something". We had a family meeting that night and decided that we would go back to our original house rule...one activity at a time and no practices on Saturdays. It's been a good reminder that our family functions best when we keep it simple!
Bravo, Dawn! As a mother of 6 and a grandmother of 15, I agree with everything you said. I am always cautioning my adult children about over-scheduling their children’s time. Kids need to get bored because that’s when they get creative. When my children came to me and said, “I don’t have anything to do,” I didn’t solve the issue for them. Within 5 minutes, they were off creatively playing, finding a friend or sibling to play with, reading a book, or taking a much needed nap.
I have just had conversations with family around the decluttering of my sons toys, I have some away in boxes and they are nearly ready to go straight out once their time is up. My son is 5 and has jumped right in with donating, I three older girls and nothing worked well with them but explaining why to him instead of trying to convince him has worked wonders!
My mum was carefully concerned when j said I wanted to reduce 12 boxes down to 3 or 4 but j pointed put he literally plays with one set of tiny toys that fit in a lunch box!! Thats it allllll day long!
Always love the new ideas and revisits of tried and tested methods.
I’m 52 and we didn’t have tons of toys and we played outside. And my mom rotated the toys we had so we didn’t have them all at once. I played a lot with blocks and fisher price people and dolls lol.
@@dianasimplifies exactly he is the same so full of imagination with the simplest of things!
Love that book! I read it years ago when we started our simplified journey. The reduction of toys has hands down been a huge benefit to our family.
As a preschool teacher and owner all that you shared about playing and having less toys and things to distract them. I see how having too much can cause students anxiety. We use play as our method learning. Love your videos.
Yes and Amen! This video is spot on! I hate the pressure we feel as parents to have our kids do “all the things”, running them ragged!
I grew up as a kid in a way like you're describing (PTSD symptoms). I have not read the book you mentioned but I have read some books on dysfunctional families and emotionally immature parents that have really helped me to do some healing and inner work. It took me a while to understand that I had CPTSD, it's something that I will probably never completely heal from. The fact that you care so much for the way you raise your kids is fantastic and I'm sure they will really benefit from it.
One of my main reasons to homeschool my kids is to simplify their schedules and allow them play time. We have quiet play time each day after lunch and they build and play independently (and together even though they're supposed to stay in their rooms). My oldest listens to audio books and builds Legos. This leaves us room for other activities we want to do without the extra rush in our schedule. Thank you for the resource. I love your confidence in sharing ideas like these. I think we would be fast friends if we ever met. :)
Those comments about peer pressure as parents is spot on! Our first child was a bit over scheduled until we came to our senses, and life is much simpler for the next 3 kids!
I can attest to so much of this! We are not fully where we want to be yet with the toys and clothes yet, but we are working on it. They still have more toys than I want them to have because what they really move playing with indoors are Lego, their open ended craft bin, and puzzles.
I’m always so motivated by watching your videos. I still haven’t taken the plunge to really declutter but I so badly need to! I really want to simplify the toys in the house. My kids don’t even play with them. They like playing with random stuff they find around the house!
Thank you for your video. I actually downsized on my kids clothes and mine because I realized that the more clothes we have, the more laundry I do! I also decided to remove the toys they no longer use and they are very happy with their legos. I also feel having them participate in sports teams will just create more stress on them, my spouse, and myself. I’ve also cut down on my spending and found no need to purchase items we really don’t need. This all happened through the pandemic which allowed us the time for family board games bringing our family closer. Thanks again!
Great message Dawn, I completely agree with you on play time, so important.
Such good words here. As a 25 year foster parent, I can attest to the fact that it is difficult to backtrack and retrain. But the benefits are so worthwhile. The ability to entertain yourself, to imagine, create and think quietly are quickly becoming lost arts. I also believe that if children are given a little work to do each day, they are then able to go play cheerfully by themselves or with siblings for greater periods of time than when they only play all day. This teaches delayed gratification, personal responsibility and gives the child a healthy sense of self pride because they learn are strong and capable, as well as an integral part of the family.
This may be one of my favorite videos!
Thank you.
Excellent video. My kids are young adults. We tried to not over schedule our kids. They each had one weekly sports activity, and my youngest loved piano. We wanted to keep weekends free for camping and skiing as a family. I am so grateful for that time. The hardest thing for me was watching them become adults and stepping back so they could find their own ways. Their definition of success may not be what we imagined, but that’s ok. We all have things we wish we had done differently (like your mom says Dawn). But we are all human and do our best. My kids are good adults so must have done alright. Keep your awesome content coming Dawn, I love listening to your words of wisdom.
I would love to hear about how you approach homeschooling with simplicity.
Yes!
I raised my son a few years ago but made a conscious decision that our family would have one TV and no video games. I observed my son playing them at a friends and saw the addictive tendency immediately, the loss of attention to his needs for food and toileting, and the irritability that people don’t always respond immediately like they do with a joystick. I never regretted it and stunned my high school students who had more TVs than people in their homes.
Also raised on no TV in the home. Never regretted it, no resentment. When we kids became pre-teens, our family got a VCR (with a TV as just a monitor /player without channels) so we could intentionally pick movies we wanted as treats, a few a week. Otherwise we really would have been deprived, in my opinion. Some of the best movies I've ever watched were in that time. I really built my imagination, love of books, love of outdoor activities in childhood. Was also freed of hours upon hours of noisy time-wasting commercials, not to mention disturbing content. I would binge-watch some TV with friends in sleepovers, but they were more bored than i was, and i found TV was fine in small doses, not worth dedicating too much time. As an adult, i love movies, but they are still something special -- i am picky about what i watch. I also have a meta-analysis viewpoint of TV (and now, online social media & streaming content), seeing its power as a shaper of culture, values, and thinking. I think it's easier for me to know who i am, what i believe, and to see myself as an individual apart from the groups i may be in, due to quiet rather than TV noise being in the home as i grew up. Plus my parent's beliefs about TV wete explained to me & seemed sensible. Books made me smarter & deeper than mere TV would have. Books even give me a better appreciation for movie content, understanding so much thought has to be translated into visual-only cues. So glad i was forced to develop my own fun & creativity outside of TV growing up.
My favorite thing to play with as a child was a good old fashioned card board box. I made my own doll house and furniture.
Such good words! As a homeschool mom, I would love to know more about your homeschooling journey and how you simplify that area of your life.
Yes! That would be awesome.
Yes please!
As a teacher and a mom, so many things you said resonated with me. Our kids need to play! They need to be less busy, and I believe that includes while they are at school. This is one of my favorite videos of yours so far, even though I have really loved the others. Thank you for this one.
Bike riding, playing outside, growing a garden, cooking&baking, etc...teach various sciences, problem-solving, patience, physical fitness, independence and cooperation (and so many other benefits) in a natural way that books or computers don't. And they can all contribute to a better mental health too as the kiddos grow up. Win win
This is an exceptional video, I have the advantage of hindsight. My adult children tell me that their happiest memories are family bike rides, all of us lined up on our king size bed and mom dad reading stories and doing all the voices, camping trips, nature walks, building stuff. They grew up with chores and responsibilities (age appropriate). We did not rush in to solve all their problems but taught them the mental tools they needed to work it out. They did not get everything they wanted and many of their toys were made by them or the family. They learned to solve problems, negotiate, communicate, be responsible. This helped them become successful, kind, honest, giving, confident adults. Dawn is giving her family the same gift. These are things that money can't buy. My granddaughter is in her last year of grad school while working full time and volunteering for a charity that she started helping when she was in junior high.
What a beautiful sentimental parenting video. I’d like to add. Grandparents and other family can apply this to their relationship with the children around them.
I watched the toys series and it has been such a blessing to me and the kids to have less toys. They play with their kid table and chairs and build huts, tractors, stores with them. It’s so true that they need their imagination and a few basic toys to thrive.
I have three young twenty somethings. We had stuff scheduled all the time, when they were younger, everyday, we often had to separate to handle events at opposite ends of town, my boys played on multiple baseball teams, my husband and I ran the league and coached. My daughter played softball, did show choir. Let me tell you if we could do it all again, we would cut it back. It was too much for them and us as a family. They wanted to do all these things but as parents, in hindsight, I feel we could have done a better job of putting boundaries in place. It is something to really think about.
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Oh my goodness! Did this speak to me. I agree 110% with everything you have said. I also have 4 children and live on a bit of land. I love bringing them home from school and letting them just be. But like you I feel so much pressure to be out doing an activity every single night. Sometimes I doubt myself and think maybe I should let them do these activities with their friends. I always regret it when I do due to the extra stress it puts on the household and how tired it makes them. I wish more people thought this way.
I just got done watching your extra video on Facebook and holy moly does this hit home. I’m going into the summer season where all 4 kids are home, I’m currently working from home and my husband works a 3rd shift job so sleeps during the day. I’ve been struggling to find a good system to put in place to alleviate stress for both me and them. I can’t wait to put this in place and watch their imaginations sore. Thank you so much for this video, your timing is impeccable.
Toys!!!! Simplifying my kids toys and regularly asking them is there anything they don't play with any more that they'd like to give to "the children"..... This hands down has been the best advice from you that has helped simplify my kids lives, thank you!! Xx
Amen Dawn ! I raised 3 girls in the public school system and are now in their 20s. They have been taught to have life balance and left home imparted with important life lessons that we wanted them to learn from us as parents. We did this by limiting them to one outside activity and by doing things as a family including prioritizing attending church on Sundays and eating Sunday dinner together. Doing too many things at once puts the influence of the world on our kids above the influence of parenting. Our girls can determine right from wrong, think for themselves and know when to seek guidance.
My sons are now 18 and 20 and your message today was affirming of my choices when they were younger. We basically only bought toys as gifts on their birthday or Christmas but we’re careful on how much we bought. Birthday parties were kids playing in the backyard with their imaginations with food and cake being served. Moms would come over for coffee and play dates and were concerned when I didn’t have a “planned activity” for the kids. Even before the minimalist movement was a thing I intuitively felt that less was more with my sons. Kids were in two extra curricular activities each at the most and not even all the time. I saw other families bursting at the seams with toys and kid stuff and just couldn’t go there. We were not minimalists (still striving to get there) but certainly more minimalish than most parents 20 years ago.
Love this!!! I agree 100%. I’m trying my best to give my kids a 1980’s childhood! My childhood was great!
I have described my parenting and life in general as practical and simple. WE are so alike!!
Love this kind of video Dawn. I really appreciate this kind of mom advice and all the research
What a timely video! 😊 Just three weeks ago I packed up 95% of my kids’ toys and put them in the basement. Yesterday was the first time they asked for one of the toys to come upstairs. Clearly they aren’t missing the toys and my house is staying more tidy. I have also found that they are MUCH more creative now that we’ve decreased the number of toys. 😊
I grew up on a lake, and that was our playground. We played sports with our neighbor's kids, didn't cost us a dime. We all brought balls and bats, football basketballs and played till time to eat or dark outside. Best childhood ever. Get back to this, and your kids will be happier, healthier and you will have more money in your savings. Your kids don't need costly programs to make them great kids.
It's really true that you need to declutter toys, my child is feeling better with decluttering her toys. Less screen time makes her more confident in the open air. I am writing this on behalf of my daughter who is a fan of Dawn the minimal mom, we like to watch the videos together.👍👍😊😊
I'm so glad you are not over-scheduling your kids! That is so important! They look like they are having a great life. Way to go, Mama!