BIRD GIRLS Then carefully, tenderly, Gently he crept Up the trunk to the nest Where the little egg slept. Then Horton the elephant smiled: HORTON Now that's that. BIRD GIRLS And he sat and he sat And he sat and he sat. He sat all that day And he kept the egg warm... And he sat all that night Through a terrible storm... (The CAT enters and gleefully squirts HORTON with a water pistol) BIRD GIRLS Ooh...Ahh! HORTON I'm cold and I'm wet And I'm catching the flu. Oh, Mayzie, please hurry! I've got to save Who! Oh, Mayzie, please hurry! I've got to save Who! (The season changes. THE CAT dumps autumn leaves on HORTON. GERTRUDE McFUZZ enters. Her tail is now extremely long - in fact, some of it still remains offstage) GERTRUDE Horton, I brought you a scarf. HORTON Thank you, Gertrude. Have you heard from Mayzie? GERTRUDE She sent a card from Palm Beach. HORTON Palm Beach! Gertrude, what if she never comes back? GERTRUDE Don't worry, she will. Um, Horton, notice anything different? HORTON Yes, it's g-g-g-getting colder. (GERTRUDE sighs and exits. HORTON still doesn't notice her tail, which crosses the stage long after she's gone) BIRD GIRLS (& OTHER WOMEN O.S.) Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!...A-aah! BIRD GIRLS And then came the winter.. The snow and the sleet And icicles hung From his trunk and his feet, Ooh!... (THE CAT hurls buckets of snow at HORTON) HORTON (resolute) I can't leave this nest. No, I meant what I said. This egg might get frozen But the Whos might be dead! I couldn't say no When I heard Mayzie beg Now I'm caught between a dust speck And an incubating egg! (Suddenly, HUNTERS surround HORTON) Help! Someone help! Hunters! Help! (There is chaos in the jungle. GERTRUDE tries to fly to HORTON'S aid, but can't because of her heavy tail. She wrestles with it) GERTRUDE Horton! ... Horton! (Musical intro as THE CAT IN THE CAT enters and freezes the terrifying tableau. Instead of singing, THE CAT tips the song to HORTON, who unfreezes. His attitude changes immediately from terror-stricken to blithe.) HORTON When your life's going wrong And you're wondering why (GERTRUDE unfreezes and sing cheerfully.) GERTRUDE When your tail is so long You're unable to fly! CAT & HORTON & GERTRUDE Tell yourself how lucky you are. (Lights come up on JOJO, "after the fall", a little banged up.) JOJO When you land with a thud And you're bumped and you're bruised, HORTON When you're trapped GERTRUDE And you're grounded JOJO, HORTON, GERTRUDE And lost and confused! JOJO, HORTON, GERTRUDE, CAT Tell yourself how lucky you are! (Lights come up on the MAYOR, MRS. MAYOR, CITIZENS OF WHO and GENERAL GENGHIS KHAN SCHMITZ with JOJO. All are bandaged, battered and on crutches, but despite this, cheerfully "showbiz") WHOS Why rehash a nasty crash. Why call a hearse Or curse the universe! My philosophy is simply: WHOS Things could be worse! (SFX: Thunder!) ALL (EXCEPT WHOS) WHOS So be happy you're here. Who... Think of life as a thrill! Who... And if worse comes to worse, Who... ALL As we all know it will, Thank your lucky star You've gotten this far... CAT It's time for a brief intermission. ALL Which means Act One is through! CAT So go have a nice intermission. (The lobby's a real zoo!) But we've gotta fix up the stage And get ready to play Act Two! GROUP 1 WHOS Tell yourself How lucky you are... How lucky! How lucky! how lucky you... How lucky you are... How lucky! How lucky! how lucky you... How lucky you are... How lucky! How lucky! how lucky! How lucky! how lucky! How lucky you are! How lucky you are! Tell yourself How lucky you are... How lucky! How lucky! how lucky you... How lucky you are... How lucky! How lucky! how lucky you... How lucky you are... How lucky! How lucky! how lucky! How lucky! how lucky! How lucky you are! How lucky you are! CAT How lucky you are!
BIRD GIRLS
Then carefully, tenderly,
Gently he crept
Up the trunk to the nest
Where the little egg slept.
Then Horton the elephant smiled:
HORTON
Now that's that.
BIRD GIRLS
And he sat and he sat
And he sat and he sat.
He sat all that day
And he kept the egg warm...
And he sat all that night
Through a terrible storm...
(The CAT enters and gleefully squirts HORTON with a water pistol)
BIRD GIRLS
Ooh...Ahh!
HORTON
I'm cold and I'm wet
And I'm catching the flu.
Oh, Mayzie, please hurry!
I've got to save Who!
Oh, Mayzie, please hurry!
I've got to save Who!
(The season changes. THE CAT dumps autumn leaves on HORTON.
GERTRUDE McFUZZ enters.
Her tail is now extremely long - in fact, some of it still remains offstage)
GERTRUDE
Horton, I brought you a scarf.
HORTON
Thank you, Gertrude. Have you heard from Mayzie?
GERTRUDE
She sent a card from Palm Beach.
HORTON
Palm Beach! Gertrude, what if she never comes back?
GERTRUDE
Don't worry, she will. Um, Horton, notice anything different?
HORTON
Yes, it's g-g-g-getting colder.
(GERTRUDE sighs and exits. HORTON still doesn't notice her tail,
which crosses the stage long after she's gone)
BIRD GIRLS (& OTHER WOMEN O.S.)
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!...A-aah!
BIRD GIRLS
And then came the winter..
The snow and the sleet
And icicles hung
From his trunk and his feet,
Ooh!...
(THE CAT hurls buckets of snow at HORTON)
HORTON (resolute)
I can't leave this nest.
No, I meant what I said.
This egg might get frozen
But the Whos might be dead!
I couldn't say no
When I heard Mayzie beg
Now I'm caught between a dust speck
And an incubating egg!
(Suddenly, HUNTERS surround HORTON)
Help! Someone help! Hunters! Help!
(There is chaos in the jungle. GERTRUDE tries to fly to HORTON'S aid,
but can't because of her heavy tail. She wrestles with it)
GERTRUDE
Horton! ... Horton!
(Musical intro as THE CAT IN THE CAT enters and freezes the terrifying tableau.
Instead of singing, THE CAT tips the song to HORTON, who unfreezes.
His attitude changes immediately from terror-stricken to blithe.)
HORTON
When your life's going wrong
And you're wondering why
(GERTRUDE unfreezes and sing cheerfully.)
GERTRUDE
When your tail is so long
You're unable to fly!
CAT & HORTON & GERTRUDE
Tell yourself how lucky you are.
(Lights come up on JOJO, "after the fall", a little banged up.)
JOJO
When you land with a thud
And you're bumped and you're bruised,
HORTON
When you're trapped
GERTRUDE
And you're grounded
JOJO, HORTON, GERTRUDE
And lost and confused!
JOJO, HORTON, GERTRUDE, CAT
Tell yourself how lucky you are!
(Lights come up on the MAYOR, MRS.
MAYOR, CITIZENS OF WHO and GENERAL GENGHIS KHAN SCHMITZ with JOJO.
All are bandaged, battered and on crutches, but despite this, cheerfully "showbiz")
WHOS
Why rehash a nasty crash.
Why call a hearse
Or curse the universe!
My philosophy is simply:
WHOS
Things could be worse!
(SFX: Thunder!)
ALL (EXCEPT WHOS) WHOS
So be happy you're here. Who...
Think of life as a thrill! Who...
And if worse comes to worse, Who...
ALL
As we all know it will,
Thank your lucky star
You've gotten this far...
CAT
It's time for a brief intermission.
ALL
Which means Act One is through!
CAT
So go have a nice intermission.
(The lobby's a real zoo!)
But we've gotta fix up the stage
And get ready to play Act Two!
GROUP 1 WHOS
Tell yourself
How lucky you are... How lucky! How lucky!
how lucky you...
How lucky you are... How lucky! How lucky!
how lucky you...
How lucky you are... How lucky! How lucky!
how lucky! How lucky!
how lucky!
How lucky you are! How lucky you are!
Tell yourself
How lucky you are... How lucky! How lucky!
how lucky you...
How lucky you are... How lucky! How lucky!
how lucky you...
How lucky you are... How lucky! How lucky!
how lucky! How lucky!
how lucky!
How lucky you are! How lucky you are!
CAT
How lucky you are!
YASS 👏