My narc flew into jealous rages about going to the chiropractor, getting a massage, the plumber, the lawn mowers. My son etc. I had no idea what what going on but I knew it embarrassed me to say the least. Now I am informed!
It's distressing to experience isn't it? You are just going about your errands and suddenly you are accused of all matter of crazy things. This irrational jealousy often comes from projection...the other person is either doing or thinking of doing what they are accusing you of.
My ex used to flirt & triangulated me by giving most of his time & attention to anyone but me & the relationship, I became very jealous as he put me into competition
He never displayed jealously for me... but he was very jealous of all his exes and their new relationships or dates.... I only saw him jealous for them.😢
My ex would always say there were 'alot of things ' he didn't like I had done/was doing, but when asked multiple times what they were so I could fix it, he would say nothing. We also could litterly never resolve a conflict no matter how much I tried or was willing to do. Eventually I realised he never wanted to reslove anything, it was toxic emotional abusive Control he wanted over me, and to keep me in a state of 'serving him'. It's hard being a giver that wants something real these days
Do you feel as though they can actually cause or want to cause jealousy in partners? Can acting jellous more so than what you usually would be a reaction to their unhealthy behavior? I sometimes have trust issues and abandonment issues although I feel most people do and its usually well with in control, however with my last relationship i feel they did things that seemed to be to create suspion insecurity and jelloysy only to then yell at me for haveing jellousy issues. They constantly flirted with others infront of me includeing inapropriate physical contact (grinding/sexually suggestive dancing with others) they were constantly throwing in my face how they felt everyone else wanted them and how easily they could be with someone else if they wanted to. Constantly pointing out to me people that they have been with sexually, explicitly telling me sexual details about their former conquests and with people that we would meet, and tell me about other people he found attractive and sexual acts that they would want to do with others they found ateactive including things they meanwhile were withholding from our relationship. In addition to sexual witholding there was a withholding of affection and compliments as well. He would completly ignore if not exclude me from certain people he would act flirtacioys with in front of me which looking back seems like triangulateing. I feel as though if he were affectionate and complementary tward me also id have been more secure and less uneasy with his flirtaious attention seeking and sexual comments about others. I also suspected at times he enjoyed making me feel that way so he could complain i act jelloys. Ironicly he often would display jellousy often. He once yanked a guy away for touching my arm, was upset I had a picture in my collection of framed photos of an ex who im friends with, flipped out on someone for telling me I was cute at a bar, i let someone hit me on the arm with a flogger once and he got very angry, would watch my interactions like a hawlk when guys talk to me and then say he didnt get jelloys too that he was "protective". I think that sometimes unhealthy people want to create jealousy from you it gives them a sense of feeling powerful and desired and they like making you look stupid so they can complain. I also feel its a projection of their own issues witj jellousy and deflection from their guilt for inapropriate behaviors that border on unfaithfull if not being unfaithful
Okay, but what if i have a kid with her? So much more ingredients to all of this if a relationship is all of a sudden the paternity. Dunno what to do honestly. I know it's toxic for years.
Coparenting is particularly hard with a toxic person. Your influence in your child’s life is all the more important. There are many options, boundaries are essential from the start. Her drama doesn’t have to be yours.
I was a pretty girl 16 years ago when we met. He certainly was jealous until my teeth and hair started falling out in patches. I was sick a lot and lost alot of self esteem. with his help of course. Come to find out he was making me sick. But hey, he is no longer jealous.
@@DrDeniseDart Its been time. all of my avenues are being trumped by sabatoge. i am not going to quit on myself. i get tired but this cant be how i live out the rest of my life!!
jealousy=toxic? what are u talking about? people have problems and have had a previous life before the relationship, you dont know what they went trough, also trust is something that has to be build. im sick of these videos claiming that everything is a toxic relationship if the partner doesnt just love you without anything and never complains, that doesnt exist in real life, people are jealous, people had bad experiences, and if YOU love someone you should at least try to work on their problems, and not just think that person is toxic
Monika, no relationship is perfect. A toxic relationship is not one that can be fixed by the commitment and hard work of one person. Feeling a little jealous now and then is quite different than irrational jealousy and constant accusations and attempts to control another person. If a past has left someone feeling desperately insecure, fearful and jealous that person would likely benefit from therapy. No matter how much you love someone you can not fix their problems..you can encourage them and set appropriate boundaries but that person must do what’s necessary to address their problems. 💜
My narc flew into jealous rages about going to the chiropractor, getting a massage, the plumber, the lawn mowers. My son etc. I had no idea what what going on but I knew it embarrassed me to say the least. Now I am informed!
It's distressing to experience isn't it? You are just going about your errands and suddenly you are accused of all matter of crazy things. This irrational jealousy often comes from projection...the other person is either doing or thinking of doing what they are accusing you of.
I’m no longer on his radar. When in public together it’s as if I’m not even there.
My ex used to flirt & triangulated me by giving most of his time & attention to anyone but me & the relationship, I became very jealous as he put me into competition
Same here.
He never displayed jealously for me... but he was very jealous of all his exes and their new relationships or dates.... I only saw him jealous for them.😢
My ex would always say there were 'alot of things ' he didn't like I had done/was doing, but when asked multiple times what they were so I could fix it, he would say nothing. We also could litterly never resolve a conflict no matter how much I tried or was willing to do. Eventually I realised he never wanted to reslove anything, it was toxic emotional abusive Control he wanted over me, and to keep me in a state of 'serving him'. It's hard being a giver that wants something real these days
My husband got super mad at me because I had a tank top on when the plummers came and fixed our sink
Do you feel as though they can actually cause or want to cause jealousy in partners? Can acting jellous more so than what you usually would be a reaction to their unhealthy behavior?
I sometimes have trust issues and abandonment issues although I feel most people do and its usually well with in control, however with my last relationship i feel they did things that seemed to be to create suspion insecurity and jelloysy only to then yell at me for haveing jellousy issues. They constantly flirted with others infront of me includeing inapropriate physical contact (grinding/sexually suggestive dancing with others) they were constantly throwing in my face how they felt everyone else wanted them and how easily they could be with someone else if they wanted to. Constantly pointing out to me people that they have been with sexually, explicitly telling me sexual details about their former conquests and with people that we would meet, and tell me about other people he found attractive and sexual acts that they would want to do with others they found ateactive including things they meanwhile were withholding from our relationship. In addition to sexual witholding there was a withholding of affection and compliments as well. He would completly ignore if not exclude me from certain people he would act flirtacioys with in front of me which looking back seems like triangulateing. I feel as though if he were affectionate and complementary tward me also id have been more secure and less uneasy with his flirtaious attention seeking and sexual comments about others. I also suspected at times he enjoyed making me feel that way so he could complain i act jelloys. Ironicly he often would display jellousy often. He once yanked a guy away for touching my arm, was upset I had a picture in my collection of framed photos of an ex who im friends with, flipped out on someone for telling me I was cute at a bar, i let someone hit me on the arm with a flogger once and he got very angry, would watch my interactions like a hawlk when guys talk to me and then say he didnt get jelloys too that he was "protective".
I think that sometimes unhealthy people want to create jealousy from you it gives them a sense of feeling powerful and desired and they like making you look stupid so they can complain. I also feel its a projection of their own issues witj jellousy and deflection from their guilt for inapropriate behaviors that border on unfaithfull if not being unfaithful
Makes sense
Whoa ! Thank you.
Okay, but what if i have a kid with her? So much more ingredients to all of this if a relationship is all of a sudden the paternity. Dunno what to do honestly. I know it's toxic for years.
Coparenting is particularly hard with a toxic person. Your influence in your child’s life is all the more important. There are many options, boundaries are essential from the start. Her drama doesn’t have to be yours.
I was a pretty girl 16 years ago when we met. He certainly was jealous until my teeth and hair started falling out in patches. I was sick a lot and lost alot of self esteem. with his help of course. Come to find out he was making me sick. But hey, he is no longer jealous.
Time to start prioritizing your self care! 💜
@@DrDeniseDart Its been time. all of my avenues are being trumped by sabatoge. i am not going to quit on myself. i get tired but this cant be how i live out the rest of my life!!
jealousy=toxic? what are u talking about? people have problems and have had a previous life before the relationship, you dont know what they went trough, also trust is something that has to be build. im sick of these videos claiming that everything is a toxic relationship if the partner doesnt just love you without anything and never complains, that doesnt exist in real life, people are jealous, people had bad experiences, and if YOU love someone you should at least try to work on their problems, and not just think that person is toxic
Monika, no relationship is perfect. A toxic relationship is not one that can be fixed by the commitment and hard work of one person. Feeling a little jealous now and then is quite different than irrational jealousy and constant accusations and attempts to control another person. If a past has left someone feeling desperately insecure, fearful and jealous that person would likely benefit from therapy. No matter how much you love someone you can not fix their problems..you can encourage them and set appropriate boundaries but that person must do what’s necessary to address their problems. 💜