My husband wants me to be more open,and tell him when I'm upset about something or if he upset me. And I have started to do so...but of course it comes off as me complaining or me blaming him. And his response is always this tense agitated passively aggressive mood. It makes me not want to be open with him about what upsets me.because I get scared of how he will react.
so call it out, put this into words for him (make sure he doesn't cut you off so he doesn't come to conclusions), then be prepared to discuss more about how to be more open. this is communication. Relationships need it. because guess what? 60% of relationships end due to mis-commuication. There's also probably a motive behind him wanting you to be more open. I don't know too much about your situation (I suspect there is fighting and feelings that are not spoken that are not seen which eventually leads to resentment because these feelings that aren't dealt with are bottled up. and bad feelings only get stronger with time) So basically talk to him, be honest, but be empathetic at the same time, let go of past resentment. Time moves forward, so you should too.
There was a sign at my artists shop that said something like every time you complain about pain it's a 20$ fee. It was a joke, but it did remind me to tip, and I did
Learning this now the hard way. The problem is, I don't want them to abandon me, so I will lie to them so that they don't leave. Many emotions I have come from misinterpretation of what I see (I s*ck at recognising emotions, especially through text), and since I'm reactive af (can't change this part - after 13 years of trying I'm pretty sure about this), it leads to me being upset and others being upset/angry with me. So yeah, nice to be able to have a relationship in which everything can be out there, but very unrealistic in my opinion 😢
@BeautyQueen2023X not so sure about that, especially if you lie because you don't want to hurt someone. It's more complicated than it seems. But I've learned a lot in the last few months, especially about living in illusions and how many people actually prefer lying to them if it means they get to keep the status quo and avoid changing. My own husband is an example of that, he just said he doesn't want any conflict so doesn't want to know anything that might cause it. Every time I try to talk to him about problems, he just leaves because he doesn't want to hear it. He loves to be optimistic about his own company (which had 1m debt now) and that it will work one day (hasn't been working for 6 years) and this is just delusional at this point. I try, but people don't want to hear it. I'm trying to be as kind as possible, but it doesn't work. Now I just say nothing and keep the peace. It's sad. But I'm done with trying to help, so not my problem anymore.
the best quote I've heard so far.
"The farthest person you feel the most from, is the person you lie to the most"
My husband wants me to be more open,and tell him when I'm upset about something or if he upset me. And I have started to do so...but of course it comes off as me complaining or me blaming him. And his response is always this tense agitated passively aggressive mood. It makes me not want to be open with him about what upsets me.because I get scared of how he will react.
so call it out, put this into words for him (make sure he doesn't cut you off so he doesn't come to conclusions), then be prepared to discuss more about how to be more open. this is communication. Relationships need it. because guess what? 60% of relationships end due to mis-commuication.
There's also probably a motive behind him wanting you to be more open. I don't know too much about your situation (I suspect there is fighting and feelings that are not spoken that are not seen which eventually leads to resentment because these feelings that aren't dealt with are bottled up. and bad feelings only get stronger with time)
So basically talk to him, be honest, but be empathetic at the same time, let go of past resentment. Time moves forward, so you should too.
Wow. Well said.
Yes, this is very good
Dropping a comment for the Algo 💖 Thanks for the wise words, Coach!
There was a sign at my artists shop that said something like every time you complain about pain it's a 20$ fee. It was a joke, but it did remind me to tip, and I did
Learning this now the hard way.
The problem is, I don't want them to abandon me, so I will lie to them so that they don't leave.
Many emotions I have come from misinterpretation of what I see (I s*ck at recognising emotions, especially through text), and since I'm reactive af (can't change this part - after 13 years of trying I'm pretty sure about this), it leads to me being upset and others being upset/angry with me.
So yeah, nice to be able to have a relationship in which everything can be out there, but very unrealistic in my opinion 😢
It's hard to discern emotion from text, man
@@discardmine5191NO!!!! IT'S NOT!!! see what I did there? 😉
@BeautyQueen2023X not so sure about that, especially if you lie because you don't want to hurt someone. It's more complicated than it seems.
But I've learned a lot in the last few months, especially about living in illusions and how many people actually prefer lying to them if it means they get to keep the status quo and avoid changing. My own husband is an example of that, he just said he doesn't want any conflict so doesn't want to know anything that might cause it. Every time I try to talk to him about problems, he just leaves because he doesn't want to hear it. He loves to be optimistic about his own company (which had 1m debt now) and that it will work one day (hasn't been working for 6 years) and this is just delusional at this point.
I try, but people don't want to hear it. I'm trying to be as kind as possible, but it doesn't work.
Now I just say nothing and keep the peace. It's sad. But I'm done with trying to help, so not my problem anymore.
Codependent No More was a life changing read for me… 17 years in I finally got the courage to speak how I really felt… good luck
Shiny morning workout ❤
Good one ☝️
Wonderfully said. Thabks a lot!
Thanks for the support!!
Is there a link to the rest of this episode??
@@studio22podcastin to me see? Come on this must be parody.
Who is this guy
Coach Lee, check out his TH-cam channel!
Masters can answer that question
People pleasing can look like lying.